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#either way it made for a funny moment
larkspurglove · 2 months
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One of my favourite moments from watching NPMD with my friends was that one of them always managed to time their questions awfully to the point it was accidental perfect comedic timing.
The funniest one was when Dan Reynolds came on screen and they asked ‘who is that’ and I kid you not Joey sang the iconic ‘I am Dan Reynolds’ line the moment they finished speaking
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strained myself too hard trying not to cry last night and ended up with a horror-movie-level nosebleed. apparently that can Happen!
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sysig · 8 months
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My printer hates me :) (with many thanks and credit to @niennanir as before)
Gosh aren’t they gorgeous tho ♥ Especially the latest and largest, though I have to give all the credit to the paper on that one haha, it’s stunning IRL, I could almost stare at the gold lattice forever rather than read, but I’m so happy with how it turned out between the pages as well!
Quick showcase of the new additions! :D
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My Drinking Game as another test run, I got the spacing how I wanted it! Yay! It’s so much handsomer and less cramped! Also I gotta say, if it wasn’t such a large usage of paper, this would be my ideal way of checking for typos - I found a couple after setting it down to ink lol, they’ve been fixed now at least ♪ Paired here with the emerge, transformed three-parter, one of my all-time-favourites <3 I reread it the night I finished it and cried again, a little bit of tender mercy always wrecks me hhhh ♥ There are so many beautiful evocative lines! I’m so happy to hold it ♪ And as you can see above, that was the one that got the cute little ghost dust jacket :D
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Another test run of what I’m calling volume 1 of my Vargas Drabbles lol, so not including Have you lost your mind? since that one’s currently unfinished. I do fully intend to print it once it’s done tho :3c Hopefully that one will cause me fewer problems! I hate measuring, so I may have flubbed two covers before finally getting this one into good enough shape XP And my red yarn is still in storage so >.> Did I go purchase another ball of red yarn? I’ll never tell. You can’t tell me it doesn’t look great as a bookmark tho <3
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And my current happiest! Ah!! It turned out fantastic on all counts! The cover paper obviously, as I couldn’t Not lead with that, but also the size of the spine and the way the pages settled against each other while glueing - I used a different type of paper for this one and I think I’m completely converted over, it feels amazing to work with. Whatever I was using before had to have been like 15lbs lol, I’m literally just using normal 20lb printer paper but it feels and looks and behaves so much nicer <3 The size of Helix also allowed for a slightly larger bookmark, which was perfect because we had this soft gold ribbon that was all of a couple millimeters wider than the other ribbons/yarn I’d been using, and it looks so so so pretty with the gold detailing!! I’ve put it between Ch. 1 and 2 and getting to see the actual physical size differences of the chapters is so fun ♥
#Hhhhhh crafting is so funnnnn <3 <3 <3#Fully intending to make more - I have the next set picked out and the accompanying dust jacket to go with it haha#I've decided to stick to dust jackets for the plain non-textured covers for the most part#It does hide my detailing on the covers but it also hides if I haven't done anything to the fronts as well! Haha ♪#I added a Captain/ZEX caption to Drinking Game like I did with ZEX/DAX but the latter is still the prettiest by far <3#Their names were made to go together you could say hehe ♪♫#You can kinda see I tried my hand at making a custom cover for the Vargas drabbles as well - it kiiiinda turned out? Lol#As stated I hate measuring and the lines turned out wonky :P But it's done and I've reread it for typos lol#I was worried I'd find rereading my own work cringy since most of those are older than either of my SCII fics but no it was nice actually :)#I did actually go supply shopping yet again for these since I'm having so much fun with it hehe <3 <3#The yarn and the cover paper I used for Helix were both good finds :) I got a whole booklet of space-themed cardstock! :D#That one was one of the lesser space ones hehe ♪ I had a couple other considerations - like a yellow-on-white constellation one ♫#But I think I'm the happiest with this one! It's beautiful and I feel like it reflects the Idle Rich themes a little bit hehe <3#Hhhhhhh it's so nice to read them like I would a book ♥ I enjoy reading them on my iPod but there's something about The Experience hehe#Being able to hold it and place a physical bookmark and not having the glare of a screen or if the scroll goes funny lol#Just exactly what it is! And I can pull any of them at any point!#I actually had a moment where I wanted to read one of them but didn't want to move from my spot to physically go get it#Only to realize later I was holding my iPod at the time and could've read it that way as it's still very much available online lol#SCII#LAC#Vargas
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uselessnbee · 1 year
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sometimes i feel so petty i want to make a big post about all the times Will and El weren't that great towards Mike just to ..you know.. balance it out a bit
#it's always here's all the times Mike hurt Will and El's feelings and never here's all the times Will and El hurt Mike's feelings#it's so unfair like i saw people hating Mike over fucking MILKSHAKES because they just had to find a reason to hate him it's so stupid#if i went on here and started hating on Will and El for not laughing at Mike's vomit green joke cause it made him sad yall would call me#absolutely crazy and delusional like be fucking for real Mike just breathes wrong in Will's or El's direction and he's the devil himself#but Will and El could literally call Mike a slur to his face and yall would be like hE dESeRvEd iT tHeY DiDnT dO aNyThiNG wRoNG like fr#there are so many small times when Mike tried to get Will's attention like the vomit green joke or the they're conspiring against me moment#and everyone always just laughs how Mike is a loser trying to get their attention but they always just ignore him or whatever but if it was#reversed? if it was Will trying to get Mike's attention only for Mike to either ignore him or yell in his face how it's stupid to be#concerned about something so small? oh yall would go ballistic suddenly yall wouldn't care how small these things are suddenly you would#want Mike fucking dead but when it's the other way around it's just funny and embarassing for Mike? and not just small things like this#when we point out how El invalidated his feelings and dismissed his bullying everyone is like oh she didn't mean that she meant it like#this she meant it like that she said it because of this and that and the situation is like this so this is why she said that#and blah blah blah she didn't do anything wrong but when it comes to Mike suddenly it doesnt matter if he meant it differently or if it was#the situation and messy feelings making him say something hurtful no he's just an asshole oh i am cursing you all#i hope you step on lego every day and your favorite snack is always sold out in every shop i hope every cat you try to call will ignore you#or hiss at you i am so tired of the double standards when it comes to Mike and willel i am so angry#mike wheeler#mike wheeler protection squad#blue's 'mike's extreme defender' ramblings#i got a little carried away in the tags but i'm not sorry i said what i said#and idc if i get hate for it cause i'm right anyways
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koiryuu · 8 months
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i watched the 2007 rgg movie tonight just to see what its like and i have a lot to say about it but for now i just doodled my favorite scene bc i could not handle it
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spiritofjustice · 1 month
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it's always kind of a weird situation when you dislike something but it's not because it's bad, so it feels like it's difficult to explain why you don't like it.
i really dislike Ace Attorney 4, just. based on vibes alone. and i sound like a crazy person every time i try to explain it KRKFK
i simply don't like it. but i see why people like it, too. i respect how bold it was with the direction it wished to take the series. it didn't want to rest on its laurels and tried a new angle for the games. it just didn't work for me. i love DD and SOJ, they're my favorite games in the series, but they play way too safe after the mixed reaction to AA4 and it really undermined Apollo's character, and the other characters tbh.
i don't really care about most of the plot points set up in AA4 so it doesn't actually bother me, but i see on an objective level that it's fucking absurd that they dropped everything except for like, the dark age law stuff and if i was an AA fan experiencing DD and SOJ as they came out i'd be kinda pissed they just ignored everything AA4 set up.
it's just profoundly, deeply not for me. and i'm kinda relieved the rest of the trilogy didn't follow in its footsteps. i guess that's all i should have to say.
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snailfen · 1 year
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the gourmand experience thus far: rotundness
#rain world downpour spoilers#rain world spoilers#FINALLY MADE A DENT OF PROGRESS IN DIRECTION. holy shit#but um most of my grocery list is done! a lot of stuff i needed was in shoreline. i also ran into an orange lizard in shaded citadel..???#im guessing it was a lineage step. cus i killed and ate a mole lizard for the list a cycle earlier. iirc orange lizards dont normally spawn#in shaded#ALSO MIRAHEZE UPDATED. thankfully you dont HAVE to kill a red centipede for the list! its either that or an aquapede. whew#so anyways i just went for that in shoreline#got a cyan in industrial#decided to make a quick stop at sky islands before heading to fp??? for some reason. took forever to find an eggbug jesus#its so funny what pebs says to gourmand. Gluttonous Beast..... rotundness. hehe#anyways i unlocked slugpups early through the cheats menu but never found any on survivor/monk. i ran into one at a karma gate shelter help#ITS FUNNY CUS I SAW PIPE LIGHTS INDICATING THAT SOMETHING LEFT WHEN I ENTERED THE SHELTER. IM AT THE TOP OF CANOPY#fucking NOTHING gets up there. so i popped back out. saw nothing. figured it was just a batfly. went back in. boom. baby jumpscare#so um. i have a baby now!!! im on my way to subterranean and i have two items left. so smooth sailing from here#still need to come up with a name for the little guy.... i wanna do a title like the campaign slugcats? theyre a white slugpup#oh god i have to be responsible for them the entire way. if i run into another one ill cry cus i wont be able to leave it there#but dear god the difficulty will Not be Fun. why am i like this.#mossball.txt#nebi gaming moment#the gourmand
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blackwaxidol · 1 year
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speaking of onion boy (onision)... a very funny/strange/interesting memory i have is that my very first original post on this site when i joined nearly a decade ago was... a multi-paragraph rant absolutely ripping that man a new one because i could see exactly what kind of soulless excuse for a human being he really was and i was frustrated that this concept was not grasped by... his audience of people my age at the time. no introductory post no "how do i use this site" post no nothing. i just came in swinging with pure hatred in my heart.
#tags are not funny btw i am recounting some memory of that idiot.#this was... 2014? i think...#his empire hadn't collapsed yet.#nowadays he's the indebted lunatic who doesn't break over 10k views unless he's going ape.#i haven't kept up with the 'saga' since the Chris Hanson thing. fucker.#does he still owe taxes? and that thing about the... wetlands..?#someone who keeps up with Onision in the legal sense tell me what's happening.#the most recent video i directly watched from his channel voluntarily#was before i made that first ever post and i think it was him trying to tell 'the truth' about his prior relationships.#he made fun of a previous relationship and tried to spin his ex as being crazy.#i don't know if what followed was a reenactment from him or actual footage of something.#he had. way too many videos of real confrontations or lunatic shit from his end. i couldn't tell you if it was an attempt at a story.#either way i came away from the video with an understanding that i was looking at someone who enjoyed inflicting torment.#like that was. startlingly clear to me. and i didn't understand why nobody else recognised it at the time.#just a completely empty human being.#his video where... i don't remember the full thing i just remember he talked about why he was discharged from the military.#i saw it as an attempt to take heat off himself by talking about his problems or whatever.#that was the moment i decided to make the post. like i remember it now.#anyway the spirit of guard-dog barking at weirdo men is alive and well within me.#ask anyone who has had to put up with me long enough for this to be obvious.#i might delete this post later... i don't like talking at-length in this kind of manner anymore.
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cospinol · 10 months
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whats your favorite anime of the season?
Jigokuraku, no contest!!!! I’ve started reading the manga since it ended, it’s such a treat❤️❤️❤️
and my second-place pick is dead mount death play, it took a few episodes to reel me in but once it gets enough pieces on the board for its mystery to really start moving it’s a great time
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danthropologie · 1 year
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Everything this man says about his future confuses me more but I’m genuinely so unsure how to read that rb comment. Because there is clearly a fondness of the team and a belief that he can do well in those cars. But on the other hand, the comment did come across to me as like “it would be nice… but”, like yes it would be a sort of romantic, full circle moment but maybe not what’s best for him (in his thinking)
and this is exactly what he wants!!! known liar daniel ricciardo strikes again, sowing confusion in the hearts and minds of the general public!!!
he wants people lost and perplexed when it comes to his next move cause it's advantageous for him from a negotiating standpoint to do so!!! if he's talking to 'pretty much everyone', then whoever he DOES allow to capture his heart and ass (in their reserve seat) better fucking pay up cause he's got 6 other options waiting in the wings to do the same if they won't (or at least he wants them to believe that 👀)
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todayisafridaynight · 11 months
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Isn't It Something though.............. I've always considered it a deliberate irony that he's always had his status as Arakawa's "only" son to fall back on (as Masato, anyway), and it was even his Get Out Of Jail Free card, but it was ultimately not the whole truth and they all more or less knew it. And there's also something there about the resources and support that should've "rightfully" been Ichiban's too, but that he was denied because Jo refused to tell the truth.
I can't quite articulate it right now but I wouldn't say you were jumping the gun in taking note of it! I do think it's supposed to be of note, to throw people off the scent on the first playthrough and raise eyebrows on subsequent playthroughs.
Also I'm 20 minutes into First Penguin (I started like, this time yesterday) and literally so evil to make Tsutsumi sing the high note when they were harmonizing their names 😭😭😭 he hates singing because he doesn't think he sounds good so it's incredibly rare for him to sing even when he's cast in musicals... LOVE THE PROTAG THOUGH. QUEEN
it really is just some Butterly Effect shit its genuinely bonkers that because arakawa opened the wrong locker, All Of This happened. question as old as time What Would've Happened If He Opened The Right One but god What If right..
you've probably finished the ep at this point since i take nine years to respond to things BUT AW JLKAJ THAT'S SO UNFORTUNATE FOR HIM NOOOO. LIKE RELATABLE BUT NOOOOOOO ESPECIALLY GIVING HIM THE HIGH NOTE if i may drop the smallest of spoilers this is at least the only time he has to sing iirc but honestly he sounded right fine 😭 AND IM GLAD YOU LIKE IWASAKI SO FAR GENUINELY one of the neatest protags of all time i love her so much
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starpros-sunshine · 2 years
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you’ve made it to twitter
i thought this was so funny and i need you to see it ur famous
...oh my god....
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technicolorxsn · 5 months
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I will say, the funny thing about people arguing that there is a fundamental difference between "skilled" and "unskilled" art is that there are so many professional artists who are massively talented that choose to make "unskilled" art even though they very much have the ability to make "skilled" art. it's almost like there's merit and worth in it, ain't it?
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waffled0g · 11 months
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Everyone gets “The 90s” look wrong and I hate it
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Couple years ago I saw these two board games at the store back to back. Well, not saw them per se, but ya know. Spied them out of the corner of my eye. And for a moment without reading the text, I couldn’t tell you which was which decade at first. Funny. Either they were in a rush to get these out the door or they wanted their throwback trivia game boxes to look uniform. I didn’t think too much of it.
Only, from then on I started seeing it MORE. Every time someone markets a 90s or 80s throwback...
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Goddammit they’re identical! What??! How did we let this happen? As a 90s survivor and a designer, this drives me up a wall.
Look, I know I’m late to the party to complain about “the 90s look” when we’re just starting to get sick of the Y2K nostalgia train. But c’mon, the 90s were not The 80s: Part Two™ 
Trust me when I say that we weren’t all wearing neon trapezoids up until the year 2000. The 90s look being peddled is so specific to the tail end of the 80s and an early early part of the 90s - a part of the 90s when it wouldn’t stop being the 80s. This is Memphis design being conflated with the wrong decade.
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Keep reading for a long ass graphic design history lesson and pictures of old soda and fast food.
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Specifically, the look is Memphis Milano, self-named by the Italian design house Memphis Group. Starting in the early to mid 80s, they made all sorts of furniture, fabrics and sculptures that were like a Piet Mondrian grid painting under heavy radiation. Their whole deal was defying the standards of existing industrial design up to that point on purpose. Chairs had weird arches, bookcases would be in strange alien colors, unusual materials like plastic or elastic were used in place of metal or wood, that sorta thing.
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Memphis quickly became the signature look for the decade. You can tell something’s influenced by Memphis design from it’s telltale trademarks:
Clashing, neon colors.
Use of diametric shapes.
Contrasting patterns like zebra print stripes, confetti squiggles and checkerboards.
It wasn’t long before Memphis Milano-inspired design was everywhere in 80s pop culture:
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It was a special time, yes.
I was a kindergartener at the tail end of the 80s, so I knew Memphis mostly through the lens of kids media. Toys, clothes, games, tv shows used it like candy colored catnip. Cable channel Nickelodeon more or less adopted the Memphis aesthetic as their signature in-house style and practically built a monument to it at a Florida theme park:
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I think this is why folks mistake what decade Memphis is representative of - 90s staples like Nick, Saved By The Bell, Fresh Prince - they all stayed around much longer than the design trend’s expiration date. 
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Couple that notion with the fact that companies are slow followers to design trends. Something gets popular and they want to get on the bandwagon? Gotta wait for the ink to dry, gotta wait for the production molds to be made. It would take a few years for them to completely work Memphis outta their system.
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Now, this is not to say Memphis is bad! Personally I’m a fan of the aesthetic, if my neon-drenched artwork wasn’t a tip-off already. But it is a trend, and trends never last forever.
So what took the Memphis Milano look down for good? This part’s up for debate, but I personally think it had something to do with this dude:
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It’s that grunge music from Seattle that’s so popular with the kids these days dontchaknow.
Once Smells Like Teen Spirit hit in 1991, the Nirvana tone drove the rest of the decade. Clean geometry became weathered, grainy and organic. Bright neon pastels became more bold. Bubblegum pop music sounded fake and manufactured. Attitude and apathy was authentic. Whatever.
Things got grungy. Things got grimy. Olestra was invented.
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I think the best way to visualize this transition is how Cherry Coke entered the decade and how it left it:
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1992 Memphis on the left, 1998 grunge junkie on the right. Fitting that the 90s would end with a design that looked like Darth Maul’s lungs.
Okay, so what should 90s retro design look like?
Continue on to PART TWO! Spoilers: No VHS filters or vaporwave needed, but maybe bring an antacid.
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blondedmuse · 4 months
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MISERY BUSINESS
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felix catton x reader
synopsis. ꩜ based off of this request.
author’s note. ∿ i need this man so bad it’s not even funny. smut (fingering, oral f receiving, fingering, unprotected vaginal sex, praise, marking, voyeurism I guess idk) it's been a while since I wrote something on this account and its not proofread so be nice, also a bit of a rushed ending??
word count. ⨾ 2.7k
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The harsh thud of the car door closing awoke you from your mid-day reverie by the lake. The sun was beaming down on you almost bare body, only covered by a bikini. It was hotter than usual and everyone else at saltburn seemed to share your complaints. The heat aside the weather was pleasant—Felix on the other hand looked less than.
He looked annoyed, almost upset, even from far away. When he exited the car Oliver and Felix went their separate ways, Oliver looking just as unhappy. You wondered what happened in just few hours that could’ve soured their moods but it was only a few moments later when Felix approached you, grinning in attempt to hide the scowl he was dressed in minutes earlier.
Once he reached your figure he towered over your body as you laid on the dock. Having well acknowledge the heat now and your lack of clothing he discarded his shirt and quickly lowered his frame over yours so that his was barely hovering over yours.
“What’s wrong?” You asked.
He shook his head with a small grin. “nothing.”
You scoffed. “Liar.” He raised his brows.
“What’s wrong?” You prodded again. He dropped his head in hesitation, his lip between his teeth as he contemplated telling you what happened on his and Oliver’s road trip, what he felt, what the truth was—but he couldn’t. Not yet anyways.
He looked up at you. “I- Oliver just said something and it hurt me more than I thought it would.”
You sat up, the two of you adjusting your bodies as you did so. You stared intently at his face, watching how his eyes glossed over and how he could barely hold your gaze. It was a different demeanor than what other people knew, one of the more human parts that made people fall in love with him.
You lifted his face towards yours. “I’m sorry.” The silence that followed after your statement determined he wasn’t interested in sharing anything deeper than the surface of the matter.
He looked back at Saltburn then back at you. “Don’t be.”
You scrunched your brows. “Hm?”
“I don’t know,” He said earnestly. “It’s not your fault, I should’ve listened to you earlier. You kept saying you had a bad feeling about him and I didn’t really take it to heart…til’ now I guess.”
“Oh, Felix,” You sighed, cupping his face, your hand over his jaw subliminally believing that it would release the tension he held there.
“He’s out tomorrow.” His hand caressed yours as it rested on his cheek.
“Really?”
“Really.” He confirmed. “Maybe now I can get you, alone, yeah?” His body pushed yours back down on the doc so he was hovering over you once again.
"Felix," You laughed. "Always distracting me, aren't you."
"No 'm not," he mumbled, nipping at your earlobe. "You weren't doing anything important anyways."
"I was going to ask another question," You giggled.
"Okay," He answered, pushing himself so that he kneeled above you, a knee on either side of your torso. "What?"
When he was playful like this he was such a beautiful sight in front of you, you almost felt bad asking him a question as if you were ruining the mood.
"You're not really kicking him out are you? I feel bad."
He sighed. "I am kicking him out and you shouldn't feel bad, he’s in the business of misery it’s almost like his job to make people feel bad." He crawled back over you once again, something heavier within him now. You could see it in the way he clenched his jaw, his clouded eyes. His mouth made its way back to your body, this time trailing down your stomach, beginning to leave marks you knew you’d have to hide at the party tonight.
“Felix,” You frowned. “I just-”
He cut you off. “Enough, alright. He was a creep anyways, you said it yourself,” He told you and you nodded, internally agreeing.
“He’s going home after the party.”
The feel of his voice as he mumbled into your skin was enough for you to stop thinking about the situation for the moment. It wasn’t until nightfall you were reminded of Oliver's unrelenting presence—it was his birthday after all. Still, no matter where you were in Saltburn, you couldn't help but feel a pair of eyes upon you, you couldn’t help but feel that you were never alone.
"Can we go somewhere a little more private?" You asked Felix and he hardly registered the question. His hands up your dress the lights were dim, colored strobe lights bleeding in from the outside. The room was close to empty but the music could be heard throughout the house. You could ask him anything to anyone and it wouldn’t really mean anything—and it didn't help that the two of you were getting dizzy on champagne.
So, you didn't ask you question again but your eyes flickered to the maze that could be seen from the window and he understood what you wanted.
"Whatever you want, angel." He grinned, pulling his hands away to grab yours, taking you to the garden.
You scrunched your brows together. "I should be calling you that y'know."
He laughed with you. "You have wings too."
"But I'm a fairy"
"Close enough." You laughed to yourself as you and Felix walked through the house and towards the maze. There was a bottle of champagne in your left, Felix’s hand in your right, grounding you with each step. The more the time passed the less ideal it felt to walk in heels—you thought of ditching them all together. Still, they held the integrity of your costume, matching the chosen Midsummer Night's Dream theme. You'd dressed up as a fairy, donning flowers in your hair and a frilly slip dress, the costume obviously incomplete without wings.
Your heels pierced through the dirt once you’d made it to the grass, your feet sinking slightly with each step. You groaned to yourself, not going unnoticed by Felix.
“You okay?” He asked, stopping to turn to you.
“My heels,” You answered.
He furrowed his brows. “What about them?”
“Well…” You hesitated. “They’re killing my feet and they keep sinking into the dirt. They’re gonna get dirty.”
“We’ll we can’t have that know can we,” Felix replied, picking you in on fell swoop, your body now in his arms, your legs dangling from his grasp.
"Felix," You giggled his named through broken laughs, surprised with the immediacy of his action.
"What? You know I'd do anything for my best girl," He told you, returning the wide lipped smile on your face.
"I didn't ask you anything."
"You didn't have to."
You went limp in his arms as you sighed, comparable to an act of defiance as if you were annoyed, as if he did something wrong; but you knew he couldn't if he tried. He shook his head but the smirk on his lips was undeniable as he carried you the rest of the way to the center of the maze.
"You're insufferable, won't even let me carry you," He carped, putting you down and letting you lean against the cold metal of the statue as you put the bottle of champagne on the ground beside you.
"I did and you love me," You retorted, inching your face towards his, leaving a sliver of space between your lips. The bronze on your back that chilled your skin was a stark contrast to the heat radiating from Felix's body, from the warmth of the air around you. It was intoxicating, his breath on your skin and the breeze of the wind. Looking up at him you could see that carnal glimmer in his eyes when his hands roamed your body only moments earlier, and this morning on the dock. It was something you craved and that was something he knew and savored the fact.
"Well I can't deny that," He smirked before closing the gap between the two of you. You could feel the indent of his grin as he kissed you, his lips turned up into a wicked smile, something more depraved, but still, nonetheless, Felix.
"Why don't I finished what I started earlier, love?" He asked against you not bothering to pull away and you only moaned in approval. His lips traveled from yours to the lobe of your ear so he knew you could hear him clearly.
"You need to use your words, darling."
"Yes," You keened, wanting—needing more than what was being given.
"Good girl," He hummed, his hands drawing down the straps of your dress before they traced down the rest of your body all the way to your thighs. He hooked his hands under them, lifting you to sit on the base of the statue.
"This okay?" He asked, looking into your eyes for conformation, the raise of his eyebrows encouraging it verbally as well.
"Yeah," You sighed breathelessly. "But I still need you."
He smirked again. "Let me fix that then."
Felix's hands gently lowered the front of your dress, exposing your breasts and taking one of them into his mouth, moaning around it.
"You're beautiful, darling" He mumbled, groaning as his tongue slid over your hard nipple. His words were genuine but you couldn't help but feel a little cheesy, kicking your foot playfully at his leg and you felt his erection, hard as you did so.
"And you know that already," He chuckled, sucking your nipple more aggressively. "But it's true." His words made you ache with impatience, whine with desire. Felix pulled back before lowering himself to his knees, his eyes not daring to leave yours. Only when he licked an agonizingly slow, sloppy stripe against your clothed cunt his eyes focused on the sight in front of him.
You breath hitched in anticipation as he pulled down your panties with his teeth and taking them off, shooting you a wink as he pocketed them. Immediately after his gaze moved back to your wet pussy, wasting no time in tasting you.
He dropped his head and his tongue slithered to your clit, flicking the pearl a few times before wrapping his lips around it. Your core was hot against his face, your scent, heady and electrifying; he could spend hours between your legs. Your hand went to claw at his hair, your fingers entangling with his brown locks.
"Ri-Right there," You breathed, attempting your best to string a coherent thought together, but it was hard when one of his hands massaged the outside of your thigh while the other came up to your empty hand. Your fingers interlocking, his thumb kneading the side of your palm as he sucked harder at your clit. You squeezed it as you released strangled moans, strained from the attempt to stay quiet.
"You can be louder, love. No one else is going to hear you except me." You didn't believe him, swearing you heard something in the bushes move along with the fact that there was a full blown party happening in his house right now; but you couldn't help yourself either.
He slipped two fingers into you, eliciting a lewd moan with ease. Your legs pressed together and he almost felt suffocated at the momentary feeling of being entirely enveloped by you—but it was exactly what he wanted.
"Oh God, Felix," You fingers digging deeper into his scalp and he groaned.
His movements were mindless and uncalculated, but they had you reeling each time. He knew your body like a book, where to touch to have your head spinning. The longer he spent between you legs, the louder your moans got, your hips helplessly bucking up to meet his fingers and mouth.
"Atta' girl," he murmured against you core. "Cum for me, love, I can feel you squeezing me."
Your movements got sloppier, raunchier, as your orgasm approached swiftly. It struck you like a bolt of lightning, your body overtaken with rapture and relief. Felix watched as you come down from your high, his fingers still working you over.
"You did so well f'me," He coaxed, finally removing his fingers from your core and scaling up your body, his moving to cling to yours and swallowing any soft moans you had left.
"Need you," You whispered as his lips nipped at yours.
"Need me or my cock?" He chuckled, drunk on you.
"You know what I mean," You replied, hands already to undo the buckle of his belt.
He stopped you before you could go any further. "I know, I just want to hear you say it, darling."
You rolled your eyes in annoyance, the smile on your lips indicating otherwise. His brows darted up, goading you on.
"Please?" He pressed and you exhaled in pleasure, in desire.
"Need you inside me, Felix." The corners of his mouth turned up into that smug smirk you've known for so long and he nodded in thanks.
"As you wish, my love."
He was rock hard, heavy and hot in your hands, precum dripping from his tip. You were just as wet and desperate as he reached down as he lined himself up with your entrance, sheathing himself inside you without another moment of hesitation. His arms caged your body under him as he hissed at the feeling. He gave you a a moment, letting you adjust to his size, his cock completely filling you up as he was buried deep inside of you.
"You're so tight," He praised as he kissed you, moaning into your mouth as he began to move. The pace of his hips started slow, gently rolling into yours, your clit brushing up into his pelvic bone at just the right angle. Felix tuned into how your moans falter when he hit just right spot, the sensation going straight to your core.
"Feels so good," You keened as you wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you.
"Yeah? Tell me about it," He asked as he increased his pace, the speed of his pounding becoming relentless, evoking obscene noises from you. You wrapped your legs around his torso, heels digging into his back as you gave him the perfect angle to go even deeper as his cock hit your g-spot repeatedly.
You were sure your nails were going to leave a mark as they clawed into his shoulders while his hand slowly travelled to your core, rubbing fast circles on your swollen clit to help you reach your climax. You clenched around him in a manner so desperate, cunt fluttering around his cock. You didn’t have time to tell him you were cumming, screaming and sobbing as ecstasy hit you like a brick wall. You arched your back as his name fell from your lips again and again like a hopeless prayer. He followed suit seconds later, soaked with you as buried his head into the crook of your neck. He came with a strident cry as he bottomed out, filling you to the brim. You went limp under him as he panted weakly with his voice hoarse in your ear.
Still hazy from your climax your eyes widened as you saw Oliver walk into the maze. Felix didn't hear him, but he took note of your expression.
"What? Are you okay? What's-"
You interrupted him. "Oliver." Felix's head whipped around to the man standing behind him.
"Jesus fucking Christ!" Felix exclaimed and you pulled your legs from his torso and fixed your dress. Felix pulled up his trousers, buckling up his belt before fully turning to face Oliver.
"What are you doing here, mate? I mean, really?" You didn't say anything, composing yourself as Felix stood in front of you. Oliver opened his mouth to speak but Felix cut him off before he could explain himself.
"Actually I don't wanna fucking know, I've seen enough." He sighed and looked back to check on you.
“I think you should go,” You said to Oliver. “Before you do anything more to embarrass yourself.” The words were harsh as they came out of your mouth but you didn’t know what else to say. You watched as he walked away with his shoulders slumped, no doubt some guilt weighing them down.
“Are you alright?” Felix asked you, turning back around. You nodded still processing what had just happened as it seemed the champagne had worn off a while ago. You grabbed the bottle off the ground and held it up, offering it to Felix with a smile he didn't hesitate to reciprocate back.
"To Oliver's fucking party!" You laughed confused as ever, taking a swig of the bottle before he grabbed it from you.
"To Oliver's stupid fucking party."
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frogmascquerade · 11 months
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