#even if im enjoying the conversation

[fishybehavior]

I am so jealous and angry rn, and I have no good reason to be

#i suck at making friends #i cant even talk to anyone consistently here #let alone in the real world #im so jelous of everyone here who has frie ds and talk consistently with their friends #im so jealous of my brother who has always struggled to make friends that he now has so many #and i know i can fix this if i just TALK TO PEOPLE #but i also cant get myself to fucking care and i hate it #i hate it so fucking much that i cant get myself to do shit #tw rant #rant #i just #i feel exhausted talking to people #like i realize halfway through our conversation i just dont want to talk anymore #even if im enjoying the conversation #it might've been quarantine and moving in the start of it #and maybe i just haven't talked to people (besides my job) ery much for like 2 years #and maybe its like a muscle i have to train #but idk how to anymore #tw oversharing #oversharing

[robotpussy]

#polls #personally i dont like it but thats only because i dont like fandom. the type of stuff that gets the most attention #in fandom usually just annoys me idk. how to explain it in a way that wont come off as me saying #fanfic or whatever is evil its just the fact that it just bombards alot of the conversations? #i prefer it when the thing i like has 10 fans and theyre all on one message board or forum #like for example mtvs downtown is getting popular but apart from annoying #'me and the mid nerd guy i copped by being weird and sexy' posts its not awful.... #but then smth like... clone high or smth i suddenly cant remember ppl just got so annoying abt that show?? #like i cant stand it i dont even bother watching it anymore plus its just weird to me now like i can't watch it regardless #im just rambling but personally i do not like it. like i dont want what i like to get a revival #i dont want anything new! i just want to enjoy the thing and move on 😭 #fandom seems to prioritize shipping and memes over evaluating or simply just enjoying something! #this goes for anything. music film tv books....

[hotdrinks]

I keep seeing posts about Jon saying he and Martin wouldn't love each other in another universe but I'm pretty sure it was Martin who said all that?? Kind of?

Irrc Jon said he often imagines what things would have been like if they met and been together without all the institute stuff and Martin says "me too but we wouldn't have, would we?" And goes on his whole spiel about how Jon hated him at first and the horrors changed them both so much it made them compatible, to which Jon doesn't seem to entirely agree. And that convo wasn't really about other universes it was about Jon's daydreams. I'm not trying to be a pedant rn I just keep seeing references to this conversation and I remember it happening a very different way.

#drinks talk tag #tma #im worried this post is coming across as bitchy #im not trying to dunk on anyone im genuinely just wondering #i just remember a lot of ppl being really mad at martin when that episode aired lol #actually im back in my tags to elaborate that conversation wasnt even about jons daydreams #it was about martin trying to convince jon to save himself #like the whole reason he said that was to convey that maybe they wouldn't have gotten together under different circumstances #but they are together and he wants a chance for them to enjoy that

[moeblob]

Sorry I forgot Hanneman suggested Byleth undress after they show up with a different hair color. And I miss Hanneman. And also while swapping between Houses and Hopes and seeing Hanneman pop up to help in a Hopes paralogue is just devastating since he doesn't ever actually join you at all and I am denied my old man rights.

So I had to draw this. Thank you for understanding.

#fe three houses #byleth #hanneman von essar #i like that Byleth just kinda stares at him and he realizes WHAT HE SAID and the implications and is like #step back uh forget that I said that #like man so zoned in on research he blurts that out and has to backtrack mentally to AH socially bad to say that my bad #if i need to tag this as anything lemme know even though it is a conversation in game basically (minus the marriage) #also if you have never married hanneman i genuinely enjoyed his s support and was VERY surprised and hes just #honestly one of my favorites overall in 3h ?? and im still bummed i cant play as him in thropes like thats just mean #also i think if byleth was like oh well if its awkward to see someone undress randomly #then marriage would solve the awkwardness this is truly the best deduction #which is really funny that i can see it happening with both leths despite my hc of them #with fyleth as bi and myleth as ace i think both would just be like AH cool we can avoid awkwardness by marriage #and hanneman just wants to go lie down in a ditch because he said something like that #and and byleth doesnt even know about religion while working at church school they dont know about school regulations #that wasnt really on their mind to check ok just saying you could tell byleth no to something #and then they just go oh school policies i understand unfortunately #and the person is like no we just meant its frowned upon to do archery practice in the tea garden its not technically illegal just dont??

[butdotheykiss]

the comments on the lack of subtitles for sign language in the same episode of heart's argument with his mom about her not learning sign language to communicate with him is so outstanding to me. like hey. the deaf & hoh community do not owe you anything.

#imagine only taking part in a conversation via context clues?? #WILD #thats how heart feels every day #what a concept #moonlight chicken #heartming #as someone who took asl classes i am honestly enjoying the lack of subs because im being made to WATCH heart speak #and hearing my own deaf teacher's experiences this exactly what she faces #its not just anger of people not understanding its anger for people not even trying #so cry about subs all you want but irl sl user dont have that luxery

[sashimiyas]

i know this may just be my indulgence. but i do think osamu and iwaizumi would get along so well

#reinas.inretrograde #there’s this thought in my head where iwaizumi is telling him how he has a friend in america who wants an onigiri miya to open there #because he brought some of his onigiri as an airplane snack and whatever he didn’t finish. he gave to you. #and then iwaizumi adds ‘and for some reason. they also think you’re hot.’ #this is an additional surprise to the information iwaizumi already dropped. but it’s an even more pleasant one and despite trying to remain #unreadable. a smile tugs at his lips. and iwaizumi notices. the man must immediately point it out. #‘oh shit. you actually like that?’ and osamu is easy to quip back. ‘like it’s so bad to be flattered #iwa-san? ain’t everyone gotta be repressed like ya!’ #osamu isn’t able to dodge the jab iwaizumi throws at him. his tactic much more calculated than atsumu’s aimless barrage. ‘im not repressed #im just…’ ‘private?’ osamu finishes for him. iwaizumi turns his face away from the honesty. never been one to look at his feelings in the #eyes. osamu gets it. so he just nods his head while discretely trying to rub away the blooming pain on his bicep. #there’s still that playful negging that iwaizumi will never admit to enjoying. but osamu has a reserved personality that allows iwa to open #just enough and close the conversation before it gets too far #to me! this is real to me!! doesn’t have to be real for you

[charmac]

i don't think people hcing charlie as transfem are trying to dismiss the transmasc charlie hc! i think it's more of a projection thing for a lot of people, since i know at least a few of the main people who enjoy the headcanon are transfem themselves!! i don't think you have much to worry about in terms of people dismissing the tmasc or other genderqueer charlie hc anyways, since it's already much more popular! i think you're perhaps being a bit too critical.

I've literally never said anything like this at all, I think you've either misinterpreted something else I've said or have the wrong blog.

All of my Charlie gender-based posts or reblogs I've stated/tagged that I think any interpretation of Charlie's gender can make sense, be it transmasculine, transfeminine, nonbinary, agender, whatever you want.

I am one of the ~3 blogs that has access to The Bathroom Problem script and who posted and pointed out that you can make out/slightly hear the Joyce cuts in the episode itself. I would not have excitedly shared that for open-interpretation if I was "worried" people are "dismissing" transmasc Charlie headcanons. (Which, again, I've literally never said, but in any case, I believe it's valid for anyone to dismiss a headcanon they don't agree with, fandom is a sandbox.)

What I personally don't care for are genderbends and, almost by extension, analysis/meta on canon scenes that rename/re-gender the characters with no basis (or, one that comes off wrong). Both topics I've literally never publicly spoken out against here, nor have I said anything bad/negative to everyone who personally enjoys these things, so there is no way for me to possibly be "too critical" in that regard. I keep most of my opinions to myself and my close mutuals, almost exactly for what you're saying: I personally don't want to harsh or dismiss anyone's headcanons.

I have never said, and have never meant to imply, that anyone interpreting Charlie as transfem is attempting to dismiss anyone else's headcanon (which again would be a non issue to me anyway).

#if youre coming here from a certain twitter post #which #mind you was a 3 deep reply to one specific mutual. aka not a public criticism #i believe you are incorrectly interpreting what my issue is #bc it is not about 'headcanon erasure' #and i did not post about it on this blog. never intended to. because im not trying to be critical or dismissive. im venting to mutuals #if youre saying i cant personally have an issue with something idk what to tell you lol. ok? #and if youre one of my mutuals who ive like #personally ranted to about these various things #idk that would be very random and kinda weird to come into my askbox on anon about this #my dms are always open to chat i like having critical and opposing conversations #anyway im not trying to win the charlie gender headcanon war i literally dgaf #i dont even talk about transmasc charlie much at all? so idk where that idea comes from #like im pretty seated in him being amab i just enjoy other peoples transmasc interpretations #im way too rooted in canon in actuality to care much about all this! #hence. why canon misinterpretation bugs me *personally* #ok im going to the back office to get drunk #ask

[squorttle-pox]

I would just like to aggressively kindly remind fans that harassing other fans, cosplayers, or actors in ANY WAY is totally uncool.

#hazbin hotel #but it applies to all fandoms!! #in this case tho im referencing how ppl go after anyone #mentioning or liking the character (not personality or actions of) or taking part in the creation of the character #valentino #as in #hazbin hotel valentino #HE IS A SHITTY PERSON #HE IS IN HELL FOR A REASON #but that is fiction #you mustnt harp on people who enjoy his character in a meta sense #and you CERTAINLY mustnt harp on all the wonderful talents who worked so hard to bring him to life #enjoying ≠ condoning #yes im referring to everyone harassing the valentino cosplayers at cons #juat stop it #please get a grip #and learn to differentiate between fiction and reality #if you refuse to even mention him or have a conversation about him because youre so scared of the idea of liking/accidentally supporting him #then please do some internal reflecting #because its characters like valentino who allow us to explore these VERY REAL VERY MUCH EXISTING IN OUR WORLD peopl #and avoiding the topic entirely is not how anyone should approach it #dont bury your head in the sand #and dont assume anyone who doesnt bury their head or calls themself a valentino fan/says hes their fav character #is at all condoning what these characters do in-universe #theres a difference #please learn it #thank you for coming to my ted talk #fandom etiquette #anti harassment

[ajokeformur-ray]

Knowledge is realising and accepting you're developing a crush on a coworker. Wisdom is knowing that you don't ever date coworkers.

#when i see him im like lalalalalalala im not interested #even though hearing your voice makes me smile and i enjoy our conversations in the hallways #but lalalalala im not interested

[soldier-poet-king]

Woke up late after having a flu shot fever to see that apparently tumblr is imploding and y'all I am TOO tired for this rn

#i mean yeah it seems like a slow far off death #alas. we can migrate to a different site. the world wont end #honestly not even gonna bother exporting my content #as someone with an avid professional interest in web archiving #yall it takes SO long and is SO much work and it doesnt even really capture anything dynamic #like Tumblr #omg just thinking abt it. absolutely the fuck not worth it #i just gotta start copying out all my silly little quotes by hand and like. pasting them to the walls. idk #go old school #mostly i just dont want to lose my friends!!! #and discord is fine but also i find mass servers very overwhelming and im bad at conversation #tumblr has the parallel play aspect i rlly enjoy #no pressure to engage just like hanging out together #anyway. im wfh today i have to go back to my database work

[hella1975]

sometimes i think about the fact my grandparents literally overnight just cut us off and im like. how did u even do that. does it torment you

#eeaao's 'how did you let me go so easily' moment. like i dont let myself even THINK about this too often #bc i immediately beat myself back with the 'if it's hard for you then imagine how hard it is for mum. her PARENTS cut her off' #but like. idk. my nan i couldn't give less of a shit about which is something i always find so interesting #bc even as a child with NO basis for it or any understanding of her behaviour both past and present i still wasn't Comfortable around her #like children are smart actually. i just Knew her vibes were off and i Knew my mum was weird when she was around #like i truly dont think i ever loved my nan even when she was a very frequent part of my life #but my grandad? i ADORED him. id see him multiple times a week and he's the kindest man ive ever met #and hannah what i told you about my mum saying certain people have magnetic auras THAT WAS ABOUT HIM #like i cant actually put into words what it was about him but people just wanted to know him and spend time with him #but he was weak and let my nan walk all over him and when push came to shove he chose her and now ive not spoken to him in 3 years #& i KNOW he loved me. he thought the world of me like it's a bitter unspoken thing between me & my sister that we KNOW i was his favourite #he used to buy me egg butties at agricultural shows when my mum said no and specifically ask for two eggs #he used to sit and eat his soup with me when he came over to do work at the house #he used to play with me. he used to smile all the time. i can so clearly hear the way he'd go ''iya [my name]' with his proper rural accent #or how he'd tell anyone who would listen 'she's tough as old boots that one' #and i could make him laugh like NO ONE else could and he'd light up and go 'give over' and he genuinely enjoyed my company #i KNOW HE DID. and i havent spoken to him in 3 years. he'll be dead soon #and i cant talk to my mum about it bc it's her DAD it is so much worse for her and i cant talk to my sister about it #bc she wasn't close with him like i was and she just shuts the conversation down and those are the only two people #who know my grandad and know what he meant to me so im just here like. he literally stopped speaking to me overnight #i stopped hearing from him i stopped meeting up with him im so so angry with him the love is still there i dont know where to put it now #why couldnt he stay. why did he pick her when she's a loveless void of inhumanity. why werent we enough #hella goes home #my grandparents on my dad's side are also not in the picture funnily enough but idgaf about them. she got that grandparentless swag

[widevibratobitch]

me when im obsessed with dead singers from 50 (well... mostly 70-120) years ago and im heartbroken to know i'll never see them on stage... never hear them breathe, never see them sweat, never even touch the hem of their garment...

it really is enough to drive a person mad...

#this is so funny because this is the one vaguepost that i wholeheartedly 100% agree with skdhsjshsjdhsn #like yeah!! it does indeed pain me that the level of operatic singing has so drastically decreased over the last 50 years! #that top operatic stars of today are all either nasal or wobbly or knödely or completely inaudible without microphones #but some of yall are just not ready for this conversation. example a #anyway. as many have said before. its kinda easier to understand how some people cant appreciate certain operas #if they never heard them sung well lol #sorry im out of blood today. i know this is a very uncomfortable subject for many but. #you can actually judge someone's singing in a pretty objective way. there are nuances of course. but from a technical point of view #it really is pretty simple #(also its not like i dont enjoy *some* modern singers lol have you SEEN my kwiecień posting???? lmao #hell. there are even some modern singers i have a soft spot who i KNOW sing... Not Very Well. but i enjoy them lol #not many ofc but. yknow) #also 50 years ago would be the 1970s if im doing my maths correctly and. that is really the point in opera history #when it all started going downhill (sadly partly because of one of my all time favourite singers' influence... but thats a different story) #anyway. remember when luis tetrazzini said that the future generations of singers will be The Best singers in history #because they'll have access to all those recordings of The Greats Of The Past that they'll be able to listen to and learn from? #lmao queen you were right about so many things but that was tragically not one of them </3 #opera tag #yes im stirring the pot of boiling liquid shit and putting this post gently into the main tag #*luisA tetrazzini ofc #lol and lmao im out FOR blood* shdgsjsghs

[wakanai]

.

#i feel so isolated #i can talk to people #but it's hard for me to find someone i can genuinely connect with #hard for me to converse in interesting conversation with people i find interesting #i was in a group setting a while ago #talking w “friends” (not close friends; but still 'friends') #it was ok #the thing is #i don't particularly like my friends #like im not that invested. it's hard for me to find people i connect with enough to be invested in and vice versa #it's most likely a 'me' thing #i think its because of a lack of communication skills that its hard for me to find connection/make friends that i rlly like and etc #ironically the friends i do like are always extroverts and i always feel like i care more about them than they do #because they have sm friends whom they're close to and genuinely connected with meanwhile i struggle with even making 1 connection that #doesn't drain me/makes me happy/keeps me stimulated #so when i do find that 1 person i become attached and want to be closer to them #and when that happens idk i remind myself that they dont care for me as much #and i try not to be too clingy so as not to annoy them #i want to be closer to them though. we have our own friend groups but still #school for me is overall quite lonely. my 2 close friends are in another school #there's only a few people in class that i enjoy talking to #the only one (the 'main' one) that's my friend is the extrovert i mentioned a while ago #and for some reason im getting flashbacks or trauma from my past friendship #because as of now we're just classroom friends #and in my past friendship. i was also invested in that homegirl. but..we drifted apart T-T #its quite sad #i feel lonely #i want to be better at bond making and connections because #its miserable #vent

[cube-cumb3r]

i know its been said before by 13 era enjoyers but it truely is deeply obnoxious how some people cannot say anything nice about RTD without making it about Chibnall

#im watching 13s era at the mo and it is not at all as terrible as ive been set up to believe #i have my gripes of course happy to get into them sometime but its like fine. i love many of the episodes! #def enjoying it far more than some moffat stuff #anyway. doesnt even need to be said that of course people can criticize and scrutinize his era of the show #but to make everything abour these new episodes still about him is so. Dude hes not running the show anymore. we dont have to be doing this #its repetitive and obnoxious and completely unnecessary to twist literally every conversation into ragging on him #doctor who

[musashi]

now that the dust has settled and i am fully confident i was not in the wrong i can say for certain the funniest thing anyone has ever spitefully said about me post-friendship-breakup is "you made the conversation feel like a cross-examination"

#wordy wendy #DONT CROSS VON KARMA. PERFECTION INCARNATE #ok well maybe if you dont want your LAWYER KINNIE FRIEND to ACT LIKE A LAWYER #you shouldnt COME INTO THEIR DMS GUNS ABLAZING #with a LITERAL ACCUSATION backed up by SHODDY EVIDENCE #i have severe and repetitive trauma RE: being falsley accused on on the internet #do you really think i'm not going to keep receipts #do you really think im not going to know exactly where to find the evidence to refute that #prosecutor miles fucking edgeworth? #it wasn't even a FUN cross examination. #literally just 'you did that' 'no i didn't. heres proof.' #cool life protip its a lot easier to collab with people and have conversations with them #if you dont make up a fanon version of them in your head and then write fic about them first #like perhaps next time just act normal. instead of like a freak #no greater joy than reading the comments on that thread and seeing so many people use the word 'deranged' #like oh thank fuck i wasn't alone in thinking it. that WAS deranged. you are deranged. #and your sweet little softboi schtick will only last so long. enjoy it while it does #once more people see what's beneath it they won't stick around <3 fix your heart or live with that

[selkiecoded]

okay thats interesting! in the SF try-outs during the song "legally blonde" she sings about how she cant be legally blonde, while in the official version AND THE DEMO she sings about letting her be legally blonde. which means that at some point they changed the lyrics around, and then changed them back! laurence o'keefe.... nell benjamin.... what occurs in your twisted minds

#covers mouth sorry so sorry guys #im a huge fan of beacon of positivity + good boy (elle puts a leash on emmett confirmed) + love and war (not in the demo but part of SF) #+ i liked some of the lyrics in the demo version of so much better (it called back to beacon of positivity!!! (i am insane)) such as: #I dream of your name next to my own but mine's looking fine up there alone #but i greatly prefer all the official songs we got. well. maybe good boy over ireland wouldve been fun (i think ireland is boring) #but itd play into the 'all men are dogs hurr hurr' joke that im glad they avoided. anyways. what was i saying. #right i havent listened to every version of everything yet (for example theres a SF version of chip on my shoulder i need to watch) #(and just the SF vers in general. shes hidden from me... why was emmett there before the remix... let me see their conversation) #but from what i have heard they made a lot of changes that were sorely needed. in take it like a man demo shes so much meaner?? #it made me sad. it wasnt a duet + they wrung out the romantic tension (no subtext by calvin klein... sigh) + shes meaner!!!! #in the bway vers hes baffled but enjoys going along w it + she genuinely likes him even when hes wearing his regular clothes #but in the demo vers she keeps calling him stuff like ugly duckling and talking about how the geek is gone :( but she likes that geek.. #the lines 'how much do you think i earn??' and 'kindly shut up :)' are funny but speak to a dynamic between the two that makes me sad... #follow me for more beautiful opinions on a fifteen year old musical #(heaves. do you know weird it is to see comments from 15yrs ago when this was actually showing. my brother is fifteen.) #god im so sorry i should be put down like a dog #lgb bootleggers are intense. i swear they got a bootleg every night or smth bc we got her shoe flying off + SF + kyle as understudy etc #go watch a so much better compilation sometime how did they take so many bootlegs?? how did you find them?? #and its awesome cause these were filmed on 2007/2008 tech which means they have 15 pixels maximum #SORRRRYYYYYYYYYY