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mousemilf · 2 years

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Dear lady mousemilf,

Whats the best toxic way to tell someone that they've upset you by not being there for you enough? My current idea is to not contact them and see how long they notice

You could also add a healthy way but i will not be taking the high road here :( sorry

anon,

i understand wanting a petty approach, but with ur plan but whats bound to happen is that youll end up even more hurt and disappointed when you realize they can go wayyyyy too long without noticing. like all its gonna do is prove that theyre REALLY not there for you and youll end up full of resentment while theyre not even aware of the situation. youll hurt the wrong person (yourself.) remember the old adage: "if he wanted to, he would."

you could go with a modified version where you continue contacting them about anything superfluous or selfish, but ghost whenever they need YOU for anything and take days to respond with an unsatisfactory explanation/apology. i find "soft ghosting" to be more satisfying and effective than hard ghosting or blocking, because it doesnt give the target a sense of finality or closure and strings them along leaving them confused until they give up.

in order for soft ghosting to work though, you need to ask yourself if they rely on you as much as you are relying on them. is the relationship a two-way street? or are you the only one traumadumping and venting to them? i think its only valid to be upset at someone "not being there for you" if you are there for them in an equal capacity. you might think, oh but i would be there if they needed me, but that doesnt actually impact anything. if they arent reaching out to you for support, the relationship is still imbalanced. they might be wanting a casual friendship, or they might not feel comfortable opening up for a variety of reasons. its still unfair to expect a level of support that for whatever reason they dont get from you. if the relationship is imbalanced in that way, i think its best to cut contact and find other friends with the same expectations as you.

im not meaning to imply that any of that is the case, but its something you need to consider before moving to the conclusion that this is a shitty friend you should exact your revenge on.

in my experience though, if you arent getting enough out of a friendship or relationship, its not a straightforward issue that can be resolved through communication. you cant ask someone to be there for you more in the same way you could ask someone to idk schedule plans 3 days in advance or stop bringing up triggering subjects. if they arent there for you its either because a) they genuinely dont care and communicating wont make them care; whatever level of support it does result in will be forced, insincere and temporary... or b) they arent able to handle your needs and you gotta stop looking for support where it cant exist. trying to fix a situation like this will only lead to resentment. stop pouring your energy and emotion into this situation and move on.

anyway. i think this is an issue you should just walk away from, but if you want to be petty and taper off communication by soft ghosting then more power to you. we never take the highroad here at mousemilf dot tumblr dot com.

#ic #anon #dear mousemilf

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bespectacledbun · 2 years

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JAYA 🔫 Jin, Dazai, Mitsuhide and Nobunaga (slbp) for the ask game 😈😈 yes I'm going overboard no I don't care <3

ok so I marked both indifferent and cute for Jin cause like, I don’t really know how to explain how I feel about him? like I for sure don’t stan him or love him as a romantic interest, but as a character he’s just so damn cute 🥺💕 usually im not a big fan of “older men” characters that play up the age difference a lot (think shingen, sirius, leonardo, etc) but with jin the way he interacts with all his younger brothers is too fucking adorable and incredibly relatable for me (I have two younger brothers who are shits but I would still give the world for them) and whenever he talks about doting on his brothers I’m just like 😭💖 my fucking heart, sir

🧍🏽‍♀️ok imma be honest I kind of like. Dont Know how to feel towards Dazai because on one hand, he’s a supremely interesting character and his route sounded fantastic when my friend was translating it for me (plus bonus Charles!) but on the other hand..... his reason for being revived and his general mindset is like. it hits a little too close to home for my comfort (like with licht). but his character is really cool!! if his route wasn’t all kinds of triggering for me I would read it just because one of my friends loves him a lot 😭

ok so u know how you said you can’t stand chevalier sometimes and think he’s overrated cause of how popular he is...... that’s me but w mitsuhide........ 😭 like im sorry @ mitsu stans but this man is genuinely so boring to me holy fuck. lich rally cannot stand this mf at ALL

HOOOOOOOOOOOO BABY STRAP THE FUCK IN CAUSE DO I HAVE SHIT TO TALK ABOUT FOR THIS MAN. so for those not in the know slbp Nobu is one of my first, first ever otome loves, from the time I started playing it 2016-17. and oh my gods, do I love this fucking character. Ive read both his Act 1 and 2 and the way the romance develops between him and Hanako is so precious :sadreach: his childlike personality was endearing from his act 1 itself (I love a man who likes sweets and climbing trees) and I love how fucking petty and cynical he is at times and honestly almost every character I've liked since has had some similarities to Nobu which is embarrassing to admit hshdfjdfjfgg.

there’s also one event that I can’t remember the name of, where he accidentally disrupted a shrine and to placate the god of the shrine Hanako has to find a flower that grows high up on a cliff and offer it at the shrine. she gets the flower, but Nobu realizes where she is and finds her just as she slips off the cliff and catches her and he tells her “I don’t fear the gods or the Buddhas, but the thought of losing you scares me more than anything else” AND I JUST. I CANT. CHARACTERS LIKE THAT ARE SOOOO >>>>>>>>>>>>>>. honestly I dont even think that’s verbatim but this dialogue has lived rent free in my head ever since that event I love him so much

put a fictional character in my ask box!

#answered #ask game #wardans #jin grandet #osamu dazai #akechi mitsuhide #oda nobunaga #to clarify Hanako is the name i use for song of radiance mc in slbp #Tsukiko is the name I use for the song of shadow mc in slbp

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txdoroki · 3 years

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heyo ˙˚ʚ(´◡`)ɞ˚˙ omg i love ur account, ur literally my favourite person on this app sfngnbodmv ur posts make me so happy. basically i want to start writing drabbles and fics and stuff so i was just wondering where 2 start & how u got started :)

hi! aww tysm :,) that means a lot!

well, i started by making a post asking people for requests (as i started as a request writing page, not really that way anymore because it’s easier to not get burnt out for me if i do the stuff i genuinely want to write!) and i used all of the tags i could.

(if youre planning on doing mha writing, bakugou and todoroki content generally does the best. the first 3 tags you use, your content will show up under tagged when you search the tag in specific, so i suggest doing bakugou x reader, todoroki x reader, and whatever else as your first three for your starting request post!)

if you aren’t planning on doing requests, i suggest maybe an intro post. like “hi! i’m (name) and im a writer! here are the fandoms i’ll be writing for, and a few things about me!”

try and have your first writings be consistent, it doesn’t matter that much but it’s good to have content for ppl to read rather than literally one post and it’s an intro. if people see the intro, they will prolly click on your account to see your writing and such. so, imo it’s important to have some writing to begin with

i’ve noticed, that using more tags doesn’t necessarily = more notes! the first few matter the most, and after that, it can help to do the category and such

let’s say i wrote a bakugou fluff. i’d use these tags: bakugou x reader, bakugou imagine, bakugou fluff, bakugou katsuki, mha bakugou- give or take a few! you can find examples under my MOST RECENT writing posts, as i did different experiments with it and the more useful your tags are the better. my “if you came into their room in the middle of the night” post was the experiment, and it turned out that i was right, more tags ≠ more interaction

on that note, INTERACT WITH PEOPLE. this isn’t against anyone who doesnt like interacting, but it can help build relationships with followers! if you’re comfortable with this, you can open your asks box so people can say stuff (you don’t have to have anons on but it can be nice for ppl who are shy/dont want their acc out yk)! if you get anon hate, just block the anon if you want. or dont respond.

also, it’s rlly cool to get a few mutuals! i’d love to be your mutual if you want to, just lmk your account whenever you start posting! sometimes i make mutual posts asking for mutuals, you can do something like that if you would like

my first ever oneshot thing i wrote, was one i rlly remember writing! that might not be the same for my viewers, but i usually remember someone by the first thing i’ve seen by them. first impressions matter, so try and figure out how you wanna be seen! ofc don’t fake being someone you’re not, but it might be confusing to ppl if your first impression doesn’t match with how you act the rest of the time!

your first post usually sets the tone for your blog, or at least the first one that gets you your audience. if you, in your first post that gains you followers, say that you’ll be writing for danganronpa, and then instead write for mha, everyone would kinda be like. what? i thought you were a danganronpa writer??? ya know

BE SURE TO INCLUDE GENERAL TRIGGER WARNINGS ON POSTS THAT NEED THEM. ADD THE TOPIC ITS WARNING ABOUT TOO. EVERYONE WILL APPRECIATE IT BECAUSE IT IS JUST A NICE THING TO DO PLEASE DO THAT!!

i suggest making a navigation page (like my pinned post) and a masterlist (you can do all your writing in one or even seperate masterlists for each character, whatever you’d like)! it can really help to have a spot to go and be able to find all of the writing you’ve done without endless scrolling! if you need a tut on how to add links to posts, im sure theres a tut on youtube!

A REALLY HELPFUL THING TO DO IS WHENEVER YOURE MOTIVATED WRITE LIKE FIVE THINGS SO WHEN YOU DONT FEEL LIKE WRITING, YOU HAVE POSTS! fr tho, ppl usually wont mind if you arent super active. if they do, theyre being dumb!

posting consistently CAN help your posts reach more ppl, but if you can only post every now and then, it isnt really a problem! don’t stress it if you’re too busy/dont have a schedule, it wont kill your account

tl:dr;

-add trigger warnings on things when needed

-make a navi page (not needed)

-if you’re motivated, write stuff to post later

-first impressions matter

-mutuals!

-less tags can work more, but i’ve also seen a lot of tags work good as well

-INTERACT WITH PEOPLE

-don’t say you’ll do things just for followers. they aren’t just a number, they’re actual people

how i started in five steps:

1. i made a post that was like “hey! im mack and i want to start doing writing requests! do you guys have any?”

2. i did a few posts then was like ah fuck i need a masterlist, so i made that and then made an about me with random facts i thought of and such. (also make sure tou put your pronouns in your bio so ppl arent confused!)

3. i did more posts and started gaining, but didn’t really mind it. i kind of just vibed, cause the numbers dont determine how good of a writer you are, so i focused on working on my writing style and such! i kinda ghosted the whole blog for a week straifht beside from queued reblogs, but came back later when i had inspo! it’s good not to run your brain dry

4. i redid my whole blog, made it pretty! its rlly motivating to me to have a nice blog, but it isnt required! i made an organized navigation page, and started focusing on getting my reach back. (btw, prime posting time is at like midnight!) be sure to put rules and boundaries on your page as well, so people do not end up crossing one that you didn’t state.

5. i reminded myself that i can do things other than my blog when i’d get a little too obsessive over it, and that it wasn’t going anywhere! don’t feel pressured to post a LOT. only post when you want to and can. don’t put responsibilities like health aside just for your blog.

hope this was helpful <3

#writing tips #swaggy.m #blog tips

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gweyson · 6 years

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how much would u hate me if i asked u to do every single uncommon question for an oc of ur choice?

the absolute madman he actually did it

im gonna put this under the cut sdjkfhsdjfsjkl also im answering for pascal because. Thats My Boy

1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

he’s gotten really good at it since he had to start hiding from murder robots... but even before then he was never a super fidgety person so he could sit very still !

2. How easy is it for your character to laugh?

he’s good at pretending everything’s fine when it’s all actually Rather Shit so. yeah pretty easy

3. How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

thinking mostly.... sometimes he’ll talk to someone and drift off from there but it depends on who’s on lookout or how quiet the group has to stay

4. How easy is it to earn their trust?

he tries to remain suspicious of people he meets but at heart he’s too trusting for his own good tbh.... he does try to hold off on trusting stangers these days but hes still a little soft

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

yeah pretty easy. like it’s easy enough to get him to trust you in the first place but once you do something to fuck that up then good luck getting it back lmao

6. Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

laws arent really. a thing anymore djkfhdljk but when they were he’d like... say laws are immovable and very needed and then do stuff that completely contradicted that view

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

cooking !! it reminds him of when he used to help his mum out with houseowrk/cooking. he. doesnt really like the feeling because it reminds him that he has no idea if his family is actually still alive or not :(

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child

“stop playing in the dirt”

9. Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

he doesnt swear heaps but he does enough that it’s not super shocking whenever he does. he sweras more the angrier/more agitated he gets

10. What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

he’d regularly lie to his mum just so he could get out of the house and go to parties lol. he’s not super haunted by it or anything (& he was a pretty good kid otherwise so he figures he was allowed at least this one not great thing)

11. How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

he’ll try to play along until he can figure stuff out but if he cant he’ll just go “what tf is happening”

12. How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?

either gets someone to scratch it or uses like. a ruler or smth

13. What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

he thinks he looks best in green but it’s... not his best colour

14. What animal do they fear most?

big dogs... scarey :(

15. How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

he usually just says whatever comes to his mind tbh. idk how to properly descrive it but like... the way he talks makes him sound smart but not arrogant about it yknow. like you hear him talk and youre like “yeah this is a guy who knows what hes doing”

16. What makes their stomach turn?

not much tbh?? like before everything turned Awful he was studying forensic entomology so like. hes got a bit of an iron stomach lmao. the smell of rotting meat maybe

17. Are they easily embarrassed?

not really? if he does get embarrassed he’s pretty decent at hiding it

18. What embarrasses them?

when he’s the centre of attention in a big group and he can feel everyone staring at him and his face goes all red and aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAA

19. What is their favorite number?

7 !!

20. If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

he’d go on a really long tangent about it and possibly not even answer the question at hand tbh

21. Why do they get up in the morning?

to not die, mostly

22. How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)?

he’ll become pretty aloof and just. not wanna talk. he’ll avoid the target of jealousy a bit as well oops

23. How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)?

he’ll do everything in his power to one-up whatever’s making him envious. it rarely works

24. Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?

he is comfortable talking about it !! really the only thing that ever stops him talking about it is if someone else is uncomfortable with it

25. What are their thoughts on marriage?

he likes the idea ! if he does get married though he wants to do it wayyyyy in the future he’s not ready to settle down

26. What is their preferred mode of transportation?

before everything went shit he preferred driving, now he walks everywhere

27. What causes them to feel dread?

robots. or when astrid is pissed

28. Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?

he says he’d prefer an unpleasant truth but when it actually comes time to deal with it he doesnt go too great lol

29. Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

he tries... whether he succeeds is another question

30. Who do they most regret meeting?

[redacted for spoilers]

31. Who are they the most glad to have met?

astrid !! as much as he loves everyine else in the group she’s the only one who could realistically protect him if something were to go wrong. shes just more secure

32. Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke?

not really ??

33. Could they be considered lazy?

nah not really !! he’s always been a hard worker

34. How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

it follows him around for a loooooong time. whether it goes away or just fades into background noise really depends on the situation but it’s not easy for him

35. How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

he always tries to be supportive !! unless it’s something like. morally disgusting then No but he tries to support his friends even if he thinks whateber theyre talking about is kinda dumb

36. Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?

he just kinda waits it out !! when the world was Not Shit his friends would be regularly trying to set him up with people so he never had to work super hard for it :’)

37. Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)?

i cant remember the name for it but he does the thing where like. he’ll associate thing a with thing b by finding something that connects them togehter? like a syllable in thing a sounds like thing b so. yeah. im good at explaining

38. What memory do they revisit the most often?

either when astrid helped him bust out of the factory he was trapped working in or just miscellaneous memories of his mum & siblings

39. How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?

he tends to ignore people’s flaws which can lead to issues

40. How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

he tries to be self critical but he’s not really self critical enough for it to make a solid difference. usually he has to be told what he’s doing before he consciously realises it

41. How do they feel about children?

he likes them !! he was the oldest of a lot of siblings so he knows how to handle them & he’s pretty good with them

42. How badly do they want to reach their end goal?

his end goal is to stop robots killing everything & for everything to go back to normal so id say he wants that pretty fuckin bad

43. If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

“hey pascal are you into--” “yes”

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS (I wasnt sure if you wanted me to do these ones too so. shrug emoji)

A) Why are you excited about this character?

i made him for my comic which. i will start one day fdklgjdlkjgd..... also hes just fun to develop ! i gave him a bunch of traits i rlly like and also i made him like bugs a lot so. i am biased

B) What inspired you to create them?

uh. needed characters for the comic hehe.....i cant remember the exact process i went thru when making him?? i wanted someone who was close to astrid/who she could trust, plus i had the idea for a backstory (i think. like i said i cant remember my exact process)

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

not really, i came up with the concept before i actually made his character

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

he’s always had the same appearance !! even though i should probably change it a little because he looks different every time i try drawing him but shhhhh

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

hes someone i would think is super cool but then. would never actually talk to jkdsfhsdjkhfsdjk. he’d be nice to my face but i’m....not sure what he’d genuinely think of me oops

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

THATS MY FACKING BOY BABEYEYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also excited bc i have angst planned ^____^

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

he’s too gullible and willing to trust strangers. he should know better but he’s too much of an optimist for his own good !!

H) What trait do you admire most?

he’s always able to put on a happy face when he’s feeling awful because he doesnt want anyone to worry & he doesnt wanna bring anyone down !! he’s always thinking ahout everyone else before himself

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

i dont know what this means..... yes??

J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?

uhh technically not ?? in his original concept he was gonna be in a poly relationship with 2 others but i cut the other members of the relationship. not because of pascal it’s because i thought the group would get too big and like. they value stealth and sneakiness. plus it’s harder for big groups to travel undetected

#im too lazy tp check for typos fdgjdlkjDFLGJDLFJGDK #THANK YOU FOR THE ASK. I AM DEAD #ask #ocs #daudside-r #one day ill start this comic. i was gonna aim for this month but. hm #anyway i lvoe my boy #and also all my kids #ok bye its 2.30am

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casualweddingdresses86 · 5 years

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cardiaceyes · 7 years

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Supportive Wives prompt: Kara and Lena had a miscarriage early in their marriage. Maybe it could be a flashback, but the whole thing hurt Kara and Lena a lot, and Alex and Eliza were there for them every step of the way. Im asking this cuz my fam had an experience like that and idk maybe itd be closure for me... also one reason that alex focuses so much on alien biology is so tat she can help her sisters and prevent something like that happening again.

Firstly, I’d like to express my condolences. I probably wouldn’t write this if it wasn’t due to your request. I hope this helps you in some way.Secondly, this probably is not that good so I apologize.I’m putting this below a read more, as content might be triggering.

Read on AO3

“You’ve had a miscarriage.”

It was like shattering glass among the sleeping. Loud enough as it hit the ground to startle those in the room awake with a frightful breath. Like a broken mirror on a wall, giving you a cracked view of yourself and the world around you. It almost felt like the truthful view. It almost felt like-

Lena was the one who had offered to carry. At the time, L-Corp wasn’t hers, wasn’t renamed, not yet. The board was still trying to find someone suitable and she just- she had no interest in it other than the minor role she already had.

Kara had spoken of the idea of a child in passing, really, just for the future and the more Lena had thought about it. It felt right. She felt she could give the love a child deserved, she knew with Kara and Alex, Eliza, any child would have been loved so purely. The more she thought about it, the more she couldn’t stop wanting it.

Family was sacred on Krypton, Lena knew that, and she knew more than anything that Kara would be thrilled about the possibility. The idea alone. There was no solid plan, not really when she approached Eliza with the idea. Eliza had been concerned as they’d only celebrated their first year anniversary two months ago, but she knew that there was no one she could love more than Kara.

Alex had been home and positively thrilled at the idea of a niece or nephew, offering her help as well. Eliza had only smiled with genuine happiness and nodded. Whatever she needed.

The story, the process, it’s long. In short: Kryptonian information had been found, technology had as well, rushed in a way- probably due to Krypton’s unfortunate end. Still, it had been a solid beginning. An agreement had been set, make sure it was possible.

It was odd, but she thanked Lex for his obsession when she spoke to Kara about the possibility. When she answered Kara’s questions, with hopeful eyes, and when Kara had twirled her within her arms out of happiness.

She thanked Lex when Kara dropped to her knees and ever so gently kissed her stomach, letting out a string of promises in Kryptonese. She thanked her brother when her eyes filled with tears. She thanked him even on the days Kara would fuss over her, beg her to slow down, to be careful. She thanked him even when she found herself calling Eliza to talk to Kara about how not-so-fragile she was.

But as she’s come to understand of the world, nothing good lasts long. Not really. Kara teaches her, has taught her, it’s not true, but the day their world was shattered- it didn’t feel so true. Not really.

Lena doesn’t like to think about it, or the months she spent nourishing the life in her only to lose it. She’s blocked it out. Doesn’t think about it. Desperately tries not to remember it, unless she has to. A slow process to get through it.

So if you asked her how it had come to the words, she wouldn’t tell you. Not until she feels herself ready to speak about it. A rare occasion.

She just remembers struggling to sit up in bed, Alex pushing her back down, and a doctor informing her. She just remembers a hand coming up to her mouth, trying to muffle a sob. The doctor looked empathetic and gave them time. She’d turned to Alex and let out a sob. Her sister had crawled into bed with her and held her until her tears had dried.

She didn’t remember the drive home, she just remembered Kara’s hand in her own whispering words of comfort into her ear.

Eliza had wrapped her in a hug and guided her to the couch after, already made so she could lay down. Kara had taken her phone, called her in sick for the next couple of weeks, and was at her side again. Alex had let them be.

The next two weeks drawled on, and at times didn’t even feel real. Like she was just stepping forward. She grew closed, Kara had been there, and she’d been so angry at herself- she had been so devastated. It felt unfair. The world just kept taking and taking from her. Without questioning why it had to her.

She snapped, once in particular, at Kara. By the end of it, her anger deflated and she felt awful at the sight of Kara crying. Kara had stood there and taken it with her head down until Lena was done. She lifted her head, looking at Lena, and gave the fakest smile either had ever seen and whispered ‘okay. Before she left, by Lena’s request.

Lena had collapsed onto the floor in a mess and cried harder than before. She had been the pillar, the one she felt would never leave her, her strength and- she’d just sent her away. She felt she’d ruined them. What they had. It was supposed to be forever- they were.

She had been unfair. She felt like her mother.

She panicked and called Alex, giving her a tearful version of it. Making herself sound worse than she was.

Alex had told her to wait for her, that Eliza would talk to Kara, and she was coming.

Alex had come too. Walked in through the apartment door and found Lena curled in on herself, on the kitchen floor. She frowned, her heartbreaking for her sister. She didn’t know what to say, unsure if Lena would be willing to listen. Instead of talking or saying anything, she closed the door behind her.

She discarded her jacket and moved to lay behind Lena, arms wrapping around her securely. She kissed the side of Lena’s face, and let Lena cry and speak without interruption. She let Lena tell her how it was her fault, how Kara deserved better because what she had said equated her to her mother.

Eventually, Lena had let it all out, after weeks of bottling everything, trying to seem okay when she wasn’t- and she felt empty for the time being. Silence settled between them as Alex kept Lena wrapped in her arms protectively and hummed.

They didn’t move until Alex could tell Lena was falling asleep. It was then that she managed to move Lena back to her bed, promising her as she fell asleep Kara didn’t hate her. Lena was her Red Sun, let her feel so...human, part of her world. Kara understood but wanted to give her time and space.

Lena had only nodded and closed her eyes, shifting so her head was on Alex’s lap. Alex fell asleep combing her fingers through her hair.

Kara had given her wife space after that before a talk was inevitable. Lena begged her to just come home because she couldn’t live in a place that was theirs without her. They had talked. Lena had expressed her fears of Kara hating her for what had happened, her feelings, how she truly hadn’t been okay since despite how well put on her mask was.

Kara had been patient and listened, clutching her hand as tight as she could without hurting her. Kara had reassured her she could never hate her. Kara had told her what Alex had, that nothing that had happened was her fault, and that she was part of her world. Beyond important. She didn’t want to lose her.

It had been tearful, emotion-filled, but full of honesty. They were better for it.

Lena felt their strength had come from both Alex and Eliza. She didn’t what had gone wrong, but Eliza had given her insight and promised her nothing was her fault. Alex had come around when they needed her and crawled into bed with Lena, or had just been there. If Kara thought Lena needed space, Alex would keep an eye on Lena.

Months passed.

Things had found a new equilibrium a new pace. They would be okay. They loved each other more with each passing day.

Alex had taken an interest in alien biology, had studied it thoroughly, and she’d kept it a secret from everyone but her mother. Her mother understood. Alex was trying to find a solution, some way of keeping the same thing to happen again in the future. She felt the information from Lex had been incomplete, the scientists who had written it was unaware of different Kryptonian biology could be from human.

She didn’t want to see the same pain, the same heartbreak she’d seen.

Joining the DEO, working up the ranks, it had only given her more to explore and study. It had helped greatly, especially with access to the AI left to Kara. She wouldn’t answer to anyone but Kara, but there was more than just that. She had so much more insight.

The future was bright.

She could do it for her sisters.

She was going to.

So she studied, continued to in secret, continued to work on it, even as Kara became Supergirl. Even as Lena moved to National City to be with her sister and wife.

She could feel she was close. Every day she felt she was closer and closer. Lena and Kara deserved the future they saw, and she’d do everything in her power to help them achieve it.

J’onn knew. Whenever she’d ask for something more to help in her endeavor, he’d offer it without thought or question. His heart only warm at the thought of what she was trying to do. If anyone could figure this out, it would be Alexandra Danvers.

Heart of a lion, fierce and roaring for her family. She had hope.

She could do it.

#so warning of the content #i hope you can find some closure #as can your family #i'm going to keep tags to a minimum on this #swau #supercorp fic #tw: death #tw: miscarriage #lena x kara fic #Anonymous

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mentalillnessmouse · 7 years

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Hi do u have any tips on how to talk about my mental illnesses in a healthy way? Friends keep saying "I'm here if u need to talk etc" and I wanna take them up on the offer but 1 im not used to talking about my feelings and it still feels weird 2) I dont wanna overload them with my issues bc they have their own stuff to deal with and I dont want my problems to have a negative impact on their mental health. How do I monitor myself/stop myself from overwhelming ppl and open up in a healthy way?

That’s a good question! It can be hard to be vulnerable and accept support from friends/love ones. I have struggled with opening up to friends in the past also and definitely have struggled with maintaining healthy boundaries. Here are some tips from my personal experience to open up while maintaining healthy boundaries:

How to start the conversation:

- identify ahead of time some of the fears/reasons you are hesitant to reach out to them and work on overcoming those hurdles. Remember if friends are kind enough to offer their support, they will most likely be willing to follow through with it. If you are worried they will judge you, remember that you don’t know what they are thinking until you ask, and it is okay to ask what they think about mental illness or about what you shared with them in order to get that validation. Friends are meant to be there for us through the good and bad times, if your friends are genuine, they will do their best to support you. keep reminding yourself of these truths.

- Send a text or ask in person if at some point soon you can take your friend up on their offer of support when you are struggling. Give them a heads up that you are nervous about talking but that you want to try. Ask them when would be best for them (that way they can be in the right mindset for offering support). You could even consider communicating by text at first about how you’re feeling if writing is easier for you. Ask them to hold you accountable for talking about a specific topic. For example, you could say: “Remember when you told me that you’re here for me if I ever need to talk? I am struggling a lot right now with what I think(*or know*) is mental illness. I could use someone to talk to, but I am scared about opening up. I would like to try to talk to you about some things, sometime soon, whenever is good for you. In case I struggle to bring it up, I would like to share with you about my …. (fill in the blank- depression, self-harm, anxiety, whatever).”

- If you talk to them in person, you can ask for them not to look at you! Honestly, I have told friends this before, and it can take some of the pressure off starting to talk.

- They may have questions, especially if they don’t know about mental illness. Be prepared for that. They may also feel unsure of how to help, thats okay too. Point them to our blog if you want!- so they can learn how to support you best. We have lots of resources on how to help a friend.

-Consider letting them know what you are expecting of them before you start- just to listen, their opinion on something, advice on how to handle a particular situation etc- that way they can know what you need from them

In terms of making sure you are maintaining healthy boundaries, some things to keep in mind might be:- Remembering to ask them about how they are often. It can be easy for us to only focus on your struggles, especially once we’re more comfortable with seeking support from someone, but friendships go two ways. Remind them that if they ever need to vent about anything, even if it feels trivial compared to what you shared, that you are there for them as well. -Especially if you know they have a history of mental illness or trauma, it may be good to ask them if there is any topic they struggle with hearing about. People have different triggers and if they are also struggling, they may be more sensitive to them. - Remind them (and yourself) that they are not responsible to “fix” you or protect you. if you relapse with an addiction, have a panic attack, enter into a depressive or psychotic episode or anything else, it is not their fault.

All in all, remember you are not responsible for their reactions- it is not your fault if they get overwhelmed, scared, sad, or any other emotion in response to you opening up to them. It is their responsibility to set their own boundaries with you about how much they can handle, but you can help in that by using the tips I mentioned above to help them determine their boundaries and making you aware of them. It is hard to open up and be vulnerable, but it can be worth it. The more you start to do it, the easier it will become. You may also find some of the resources below helpful:

How to tell someone about your mental health & interactions with others

This post on telling someone about your mental health problem has some great tips and advice.

This is a post with links to various module you can complete to help you assert yourself.

Here is a online self help book that has some self help tips and information on social skills training.

Talk about Mental Health

How to start your conversation

How to tell the people you love

Video for Parents By Teens Explaining Depression

Helping Your Family Understand MDD

Take care,

Ari

#Ask MIM #Anonymous #telling a friend #opening up #setting boundaries #healthy boundaries #ari

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