#go away girl boss

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

So i finally listened to The Magnus Protocol and uhh holy shit, yall mind if i

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#the magnus protocol #tmagp #tmagp spoilers #In the tags #My favourite case has to be the 2nd one Daria girl you are so fucked up!!!! You are so fucked up girl get help!!!! #And i am loving the absolute toxic work environment it is hilarious all the characters are great!! #Alice Gwen and Lena have three way situation of snide backhanded remarks and office coworker hate going on #Colin hates everyone but especially the puter and is this close to murder #Sam is just trying to do whatever the fuck he is doing. He is new here. He is over qualified #Teddy my man saw his place workplace comedy swerving towards horror genre and immediately ditched ship good for him!!! #(Unless Lena brutal pipe murdered him in which case girl i am so sorry) #And just character in general. Like Alice is trying to vibe her way through life #while also saying some death flaggy 'oh this is def foreshadowing' shit every episode #Gwen has the same surname as the shows previous antag #but also just after Lena's job and just wants to be taken seriously and thinks everyone is against her #she also may or not have discovered that her boss is murderer but oh well #Sam is like this sweet nice guy who is also so fucking nosy and the only one actually curious about fucked up shit cases magnus institue #And everyone is telling him to stop Girl! Turn away girl!! You are gonna get fucked up girl!! Look away!! #Colin is just so fucking angry and feral but also IT is just like that. He is crawling on the floors. He is growling at people #Lena is so fucking tired with all these bitches in her office Head Bitch incharge of all these Bitches #And i am 80% sure she murdered that guy Klaus #Anyway love all of this. Cant wait to hear them get killed in brutal tragic ways

[priarity]

‘blue eye samurai is like GOT and mulan combined hahaha’ how small minded can you get omfg

#blue eye samurai #what part of GOT handled sexism and colonialism with such grace lmao #like seriously #what part of GOT actually had a nice plot that didn’t involve humiliating women for no reason #ugh go away #ppl think any Asian show starring a “girl boss’ is mulan #stfu #first of all mulan is chinese #ykw i need to shut up before i start ranting

[clumsycapitolunicorn]

it's been nearly 6 months since the ted lasso finale and im still pretty much:

#ted lasso #messing with us tedbecca shippers and giving rebecca some rando...ruining a canon ship...trying to girl boss a character- #-who you didn't even let have her own work plot when it was time... #making two men who had a beautiful relationship growth fight last minute over said girlboss and making them grossly misogynistic #leaving one of your characters in an ab*s*ve relationship was an awful woman and all the mentioned ab*s*ve moments were- #-just for sh*ts and giggles #ohhh and also making it mandatory to forgive even the sh*tty people when it's ok not to #taking your lead away from a place he was most stable and maybe or maybe not having him get back with his ex who told him he was too much.. #-got with their therapist (and you never dig deep into that mess) and maybe cheated... #yes to be with his son but there were options for him to stay in london and bring his kid and ex so they could both parent or show a- #representation of these kind of situations and maybe have henry living with each parent 6 months each and getting the best of both worlds #also your boss is more rich than she started and was providing for you your kid and ex #instead we get ted only deciding to leave after his mother told him his kid missed him (as if that isn't obvious) such a weak way to go- #-about it and tbh ted leaving his kid far away to go to london instead of like half an hour way is kind of stupid all round really #they wanted a mary poppins situation except mary poppins made some roots of her own and had connections so it didn'twork #yeah i am still...feeling a lot

[the-one-eyed-seer]

Nobody talks about the traumatized to obsession with recovery to toxic wellness to conspiracy theorist pipeline

It’s the wellness and spirituality to conspiracy theorist pipeline but expanded

Let me explain: you are traumatized. Obviously you do not want to remain traumatized. You want to heal, but you can’t heal faster than you can heal. It’s frustrating. You become preoccupied with the idea of healing. You then discover a whole community of people like you, spreading the good word of wellness culture who promises they can fix you. They don’t actually, but they make you feel good about yourself because you’re bypassing the emotionally turbulent aspects of recovery so you keep doing it. This culminates in a “well I turned out fine” “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” “stay positive” “good vibes” mindset. You have now landed yourself in the more commonly observed spirituality and wellness culture to right wing conspiracy theorist pipeline

It’s really upsetting because they’re preying on people who want to heal from trauma

#anyway trauma healing is more than staying positive being hyper independent and supressing any disturbing thoughts or emotions #you actually have to process your triggers and get to the root of what is upsetting you and honoring your hurt feelings #and letting your support network help you #saying good vibes and girl boss isn’t gonna make your trauma go away you’re just supressing your emotional needs

[duckapus]

Idea: GG brings Zack, Larry and Jim to Dreamland so they can all try beating one of the Arenas together. To make sure the boys don't actually get hurt, she applies secondary hitboxes with health bars to them that'll absorb any damage. They'll still feel the hits without actually getting injured, and if their HP runs out they'll be put in a "downed" state for a few seconds until either one of the other kids revives them or they time out and get teleported out of the current battle. She also applies copy abilities so they're actually able to fight.

Zack gets Ninja because it synergizes well with him being a cat.

Jim gets Supplex, and is really excited about it because he's always wanted to be a Chuckster.

Larry doesn't need one because the Koopalings have been Boss characters ever since their introduction in SMB3

GG gets Beam, but she's actually nerfing herself by doing that because her actual abilities are way too overpowered for most Kirby Bosses, and getting a real challenge (along with letting the boys actually meaningfully contribute) is the Whole Point.

And if she conveniently "forgets" to remove the copy essence code from Zack and Jim's base programming afterwards, well. It's not like that sort of thing isn't on-brand for her, and compared to a lot of other changes she's genuinely forgotten to revert in the past this one's relatively harmless.

#smg4 #smg4 ocs #not sure if i'd call this a full episode idea #the gamer girl #smg4 zack #larry koopa #jim the pianta #the arena #copy abilities #the mushroom kingdom can be a dangerous place and two of her three closest friends are mostly defenceless #if she can get away with giving them power and teaching them how to use it to protect themselves and each other she WILL #plus she's a massive kirby fan and genuinely wanted to share that passion with her boys #ninja zack is Absolutely going to abuse his powers and constantly jumpscare his siblings #and cody Will retaliate with force #and karen Will confiscate their ninja gear and shotgun for a week #'cause that's just how these cats be #gg probably picks one of the earlier arenas because even with the safety net those three are Not Ready for modern Kirby Final Bosses

[apoloniaspiegelgold]

Now that my boss has hired a new PhD student, he literally straight up kicks me out of my office by the end of the month with no warning just so that the new girl can move into my office instead. So now I have to move into an office at the far end of the corridor whose inhabitant was at least asked if he'd be okay to move out of there into an empty office. And I'm just sitting here like ... why? Why not put the new girl into the empty office? What is this insanity?

#i practically live in this office and it's right next to that of my boss who is basically NEVER THERE so WHY #he's literally forcing two people to move out of their offices just so the new girl is right next to his own #our secretary came by today after she got the news to see how much stuff we are going to have to move around the entire institute #and she also said that she doesn't find this okay in any way. i just don't get it. i doubt the new girl is happy about this either like ??? #and he didn‘t even tell me anything about this he literally just put me in cc of an email that was like ‚yeah let‘s just kick her out‘ #the thing that's bugging me the most about this actually is that my office is opposite of one of my favourite people in the whole world #so we always know when the other is there and we can always hear each other coming and always just pop by to say hello #and now i'm supposed to move like a mile away from him and for what? #maybe i'm overreacting i mean it's just an office but it's MY office i've spent thousands of hours in there and he could've at least asked #ramblings

[egginfroggin]

Oak please!

I was so confused for a minute seeing this, it took me a second to remember that I just reblogged an ask game.

(The ask game)

I'll be entirely honest, I'm having trouble remembering specifics from such a large time period, but I'd probably say that it was my mother telling me that relationships are something that you need to have self-confidence in.

I'd been lamenting the fact that my desire to work for and raise my own family (husband and kids) seems to be something that society looks down upon now, as several loudmouthed people seem to be of the opinion that being a wife and mother is a degrading occupation, while men in general seem to be becoming more and more suspicious of women as a whole and don't want anything to do with them out of fear and mistrust.

My mother basically said that I can't please everyone, and, knowing that I really do want to have a family in the future, that I should have self-confidence in my wish to have a family. Find a man to share my life with, and don't pay attention to the people who call motherhood demeaning.

So, do stuff. Do your own thing. Have confidence in your decisions. Don't be dumb, of course, but there's nothing wrong with being single or married, a parent or otherwise. Trying to please everyone will please nobody in the end, and you'll be miserable, besides.

#asks #cheerfullycatholic #thank you! #ask game #I have a whole rant I could go on related to those societal views I mentioned #but that would result in going into politics and all that kerfuffle #very heavy stuff #but really I do genuinely think that society has started to look down on women doing anything but working #and I find it ironic #because according to some people #slaving away for a boss who doesn't care about you beyond what labor and hours you offer #working towards a promotion or position that you statistically may not even ever get #is more meaningful and profound than working to support people who genuinely care about you #or staying at home to raise the next generation #like you do you #that's fine if you want to work #but it feels like there's this push towards women working working working working #and this push away from women being mothers #like wanting that is frowned upon. wanting to be a mother is frowned upon. wanting to raise children is bad now #but working 50 hours a week for a promotion I don't want? yas girl slay #sorry but I don't want to be ceo I don't want to be a manager I don't want to be anything like that #I just want to work my shift and help patients and not live on the streets #if you want to be a ceo then do it yourself #I am not a chess piece to be moved as you see fit #I am an individual and I make my own decisions #well the rant is in the tags now. thanks for the ask!

[itsnice2haveafriend]

Have you heard that Taylor Sw-

Yes. Yes I have. I guarantee you, I heard about it the second it happened. I am 16 years deep in the trenches of the swifterhood here. I have google alerts for articles, post alerts for every social media app I'm on for both Taylor and TN, I have connections at this point. Trust me, I know. However, I would be absolutely elated to talk about it.

#taylor swift #swifties #swiftie #taylornation #eras taylor swift #taylorswift #taytay #tay tay #1989 taylor's version #swiftie things #living the swiftie life #It's literally gotten to the point where people know me as THE Taylor Swift girl #My english prof asked if i was okay after news of the Tay and Joe breakup #My boss asked if I was going to need time off because Tay was touring about 3 hours away from my city #I did go but I planned it for the weekend day so i would still get my work hours in 😌

[supercasey]

this fucking close to quitting

#supercasey ramblings #this fucking job is killing me #I'm more or less getting told that the girl i trained is going to do my job when she's here- even when I'm here #which would force me to work upfront again #I'm not going back to that shit i just can't deal with it anymore #i hate this fucking job so damn much i want out i want to get away from my bitch of a boss #but if i leave i won't have enough to take care of my cat or go to youmacon #i wish i could put the world on pause and just disappear with my cat for a few days #vent #venting

[roseband]

oof i just realized since i have a newer phone now and outlook app works on it, not only can i work on teams off my wrist, but i can do EMAILS off my wrist

#tbh i automated around like... 50% of my job away #i mean i still have to check the artwork and stuff it's not like my scripties can do my job for me #nor can my datamerge sets or my like.... resize one art.. automatically resizes all other garment size templates #and when i wfh i let the computer run and answer messages and texts on my phone #but now i don't even have to run over when i get an email!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #my boss saw me do it a few times and i taught a few ppl in my dept my like... .lazy girl automation #AND he asked how i knew the things and i was like... oh no reason like i know this for no reason #until like i was there over a year..... and i was like UHHH i was REALLY into a kpop boyband with 9 members and wanted to make GIFS #for ALL NINE BOYS!! every performance... sometimes 2 perfs a day which is 4 x 9 x 2 gifs LOL #he looked at me like i was weird but i also sit in between the bts cubicle and the exo cubicle #i only have work stuff pinned up on my cube lol #BUT if you guys didn't know all my gifs are batch processed.... so i only do about half the work #i have a script to copy layers to all open documents which helps with coloring and watermarks #and then also.... a BUNCH of batch processes... like all i do is import crop and do base coloring #everything else my computer just runs for me now LMAO #personal #if i don't get a good raise this year... we're going to be implementing one of my data merge things for templates for a LOT of the pitch #boards and pages for sales................... SOOoooOOoO i'll sneak that shit into my portfolio and apply elsewhere to get a job hop bump #but i should get a good review lol

[dancedance-resolution]

in my standing up to my boss era!

#i was told i would have off on sunday so i made plans w my girl #bc everyone gets this particular sunday off to recover from the hellish 14 hour nightmare shit event on saturday #well #turns out i actually have to work INCREASED hours on sunday #and so #i asked my boss if i get normal pay rate (15) or if it’s the $11 that we get for training and similar things (such as breaking down shit #from the event)….he said he’d get back to me but if it’s $11 i am going to say fuck no! 😌 #also this is unrelated to the event but my local target is offering $16 starting pay and apparently aldi half an hour away is doing $17?!?!! #so i might do what jay did and get a part time job there; cut back on my hours here; when they ask why i’m cutting back tell them about the #other job #betsy got fuckin fired when she did that but jay got a promotion and raise when she did so 🤔

[masschase]

Is casey also in AOM??

Yes and no!

If I ever get around to playing AOM I might heavily regret not having Casey Casey in that universe. But I've already implied that she was changed pretty drastically by the reset.

As I recall, you (the asker) weren't too keen on my theory on this, but(and I'll do a more visual representation of this some day):

Greek mythology name choice 1, mom's eyes (hazel) dad's hair (dark blonde), parents didn't take a potential move to Paris, parents didn't invest in some (as it turned out very good) stocks they wanted to -> Cassandra Clark

Greek mythology name choice 2, dad's eyes but bluer (his are blue-grey), mom's hair (v. dark brown/black), parents did take a potential move to Paris, parents did invest in those stocks -> Persephone Brimstone (née Clark, presumably)

Now obviously in Casey's universe Johnny doesn't make that choice, so any situation where he did was already an AU prior to the reset. So in that universe, was she already Persephone but the leader of the Saints, or was she Casey but became Persephone when the universe reset? I personally would choose the latter.

It's not something I'd probably ever explore fully(maybe a random drawing/oneshot about Persephone having nightmares where she's eating Freckle Bitch's or something), but I do love the potential links, even not taking into account the obvious stuff like the logo and the shared team members. Persephone= the queen of the underworld, which could be both underworld as in crime or as in God literally being afraid of the Boss raising an army against heaven. It's also forbidden to speak her real name which links back to Casey's secrecy around hers.

tl;dr: Casey is Sephy. Sort of.

#i actually pared down this theory before i wrote the relevant chapter #originally casey was going to have a boy next door type friend called lucas who moved away and stuff #completely coincidental that matt's first girl crush (quorra from tron) had a name derived from cora; an epithet for... persephone. #sr boss: casey clark #persephone brimstone #saints row #gat out of hell #agents of mayhem #sr fanfic: out of time

[exoflash]

im having a cosplay crisis rn

#the con i usually go to is still a few months away but #4th doctor???? ford prefect???? arthur dent??? just be n harmonia again ????????? #brightts ramblings #girl help #my initial plan was to be subway boss ingo but unfortunately i have not had money nor time to make the coat #and thus need to figure out something i can make w clothing i own #indiana jones could be fun too but he's lower on the blorbo list. so

[arundolyn]

any discussion of the program zoom activates sleeper agent cells in me that make me want to become a real life random chimp event

#crow.txt #words that make sense (not really) #but holy. fucking. shit. #IT SUCKS. IT FUCKS UP FOR NO REASON. PEOPLE EXPECT US TO FUCK WITH IT AND WE DONT. #WHY DO PEOPLE USE IT SO MUCH. ITS SO FUCKING BAD. ITS TERRIBLE. PEOPLE COME IN SAYING THATS THEIR ONLY ISSUE #AND THEN HAVE STRAIGHT UP MALWARE OR DYING COMPONENTS THAT ARE A WAY MORE PRESSING ISSUES THAN FUCKING. ZOOM. #zoom makes me capable of such violence. that and outlook. you are on your fucking own. we do so little specific software troubleshooting #for this exact reason. its a headache. its a nightmare. get it the fuck away from me. do not fucking start with me. #we had a call the other week from a lady ON A BUSY! DAY! like 'can yall download zoom for me?' #girl if you cannot figure out how to install a program on your computer i do not think you should have one. thst is harsh but i have #only so much patience for this kind of stuff. it is straight up not a service we offer. we have never professed to offer it #none of us like explaining to people who need it reiterated like 5 times to sorta grasp it. at least not regularly. its so fucking draining #and irritating. my boss keeps enabling this and i Know he doesnt like doing it and its going to persist if he keeps on.

[m0e-ru]

fuck you fuck your customer service also im telling you on your manager who doesnt even know you exist

#kommento #// 'you mind leaving me alone?' THE AUDACITY OF THE DUMB RUMORMONGER WHO WONT LEAVE *ME* ALONE #// <- actively visited the gas station to talk to them #// literally cant get over all the selection prompts like bancho's actually apologetic for bothering this man and will just leave as as the #// first option at the top of his head NO what the hell is this external power making you think like this bancho you are so #// assertive in your character you like to ask questions and push further and learn more WHY are you backing out now #// why do you like like a wuss this is not you LITERALLY i was playing this part and i understand that the protag is well a #// 'blank slate' whatever and theres not much character and essence thats so actively in your face throughout the game and you'll see #// snippets of him in these dialogue prompts and just. when this interaction came up it was blaring in my head that these #// prompts in particular were just ??? so out of character for him like WHO is making you do this does god already have that much of a grip #// on your psyche like 2/3 options were to back off you LITERALLY had a breakthrough with your friends and had your girl best friend #// tell you 'go beat the final boss shes a piece of shit she started all this and tortured me as a puppet' AND YOU JUST?? THESE #// THOUGHTS (prompts) FILL YOUR MIND AFTER EVERYTGHUBG!?? #// like yeah im saying the ooc in the attendant fits well in canon bc thats god the true culprit shooing you away #// and that bancho's the one who's ooc and doesnt make sense.! #// sorry for the 1000000th tag essay im stopping here lol 💃💃💃

[pulchritudinous-plants]

steep

have some post book six finn angst? i guess? that’s been in my drafts unfinished for months. mainly inspired by the fact that finn literally stabbed one of his best friends from childhood and it got kinda waved away??? therapy and meds are good but not that good. this is very rough very unedited but it’s 2 am so ya know.

His skin is red from the heat of the shower; scrubbed raw until tender. The water long stopped running pink but it doesn’t matter. He can still feel the blood on his hands, under his nails.

He should get out. Go to the infirmary, Philby and Maybeck were still out of it, after all, talk to the girls. Talk to security.

Are they going to send security after him? They probably should. He did kill someone, after all.

His knees give out at the thought. God, he killed Dillard. He’s sitting on the floor of his stateroom shower because he needed to wash off his best friend's blood before he could do anything else.

What is he supposed to tell his parents?

What is he supposed to tell Dillard’s?

His stomach rolls dangerously. Do they even know where their son is? He wasn’t supposed to be on the boat. He wasn’t supposed to be involved.

He isn’t supposed to be dead, either, though.

He buries his head in his knees, hands fisting his damp hair. Jesus Christ. He never should’ve come on this cruise. He never should’ve become a DHI. Screw his friends, how on earth could they be worth this? He never should’ve met Wayne.

Wayne. Anger flares inside him, but it’s muted. Wayne got them all involved in this. He’s the one that decided children could end a war that adults had been fighting for years. He’s the one that made Finn a Keeper. He’s the one that made Dillard a martyr.

Someone’s knocking on something far away. Everything sounds like he’s submerged in a swimming pool; white noise echoing in his ears. Someone is breathing loudly in the next room.

The door opens, light pooling in from the bedroom, casting shadows onto his mother. She looks worried, panic pinching her face. He can’t bring it in him to be embarrassed that she’s just walked in on him. He wonders why.

“Finn!” She rushes to him, pulling his face up in her hands. “God, you’re freezing, hold on.” Oh. He is freezing, now that she mentions it. The water’s turned ice cold; his skin is numb. How long has he been sitting here?

She leaves, just for a moment. The water abruptly shuts off and she comes back, towel in hand and clothes damp. She wraps it around him before smoothing his hair off his face.

“It’s okay, Finn, but please, breathe. You’ve gotta calm down” Breathe? He is, isn’t he? But no, the heavy breathing from before is him, not someone else. He’s hyperventilating, he thinks distantly. You’re having a panic attack, Larry.

God, how many times has he heard Charlene talk about panic attacks after tests? How many times has Willa called him at 2 am, crying from old nightmares? Why did he think he was so invincible, so well grounded that this wouldn’t ever happen to him?

Well, he supposed anyone would be crying in the shower if they‘d just stabbed someone.

He barks out a laugh at the thought, startling his mother. God, what is wrong with him?

He doesn’t know how long they sit there, on the floor of the shower. She breathes slow and even, willing him to do the same as she rubs his back. It feels like forever until he can take an easy breath of air.

Vaguely he wonders how his mom knows how to do this; whether it’s just some inherent knowledge that comes with age and children.

It takes longer still until he stands on shaky legs to grab a change of clothes, towel pulled tight around him. He’s not shaking, anymore, but he’s still cold. Still a little numb. His lips are chapped.

She leaves to let him change, looking weary at the thought of leaving him alone. He doesn’t blame her. He feels like he’s still teetering on the edge of another breakdown; one good push and he’ll be sent sprawling. She had grabbed his pajamas, he thinks idly. An old t-shirt his aunt sent him years ago that he’s yet to grow into and a pair of plaid sleep pants. They both smell like the lavender laundry detergent she uses back home.

Shit, he wants to go home.

“It’s a little late,” she says once he comes out of that bathroom, moving to put her hands on his shoulders. He doesn’t want her to move away. “Do you want to order room service for dinner? Or I could go pick something up?” She offers, but he’s already shaking his head.

“Can we order? Please? I just…” he trails off, not knowing what to say, but she’s already nodding, moving away to find the menu and call in dinner.

He stands in the middle of the room and tries to think. He needs to go down to medbay and talk to his friends. Philby and Maybeck are awake, no doubt, and they’re going to want to know what happened. It’s what a good friend would do. What a good leader would do. Hasn’t he fought tooth and nail to hold on to his precious leader title? He should be explaining; strategizing (apologizing). Instead, he’s leaving Willa and Charlene to explain everything, half of which they don’t even know because they didn’t follow him into that cave.

(They’re going to have to tell them how they woke them up, he thinks wryly. He’s almost upset that he’s almost certainly already missed out on Philby blushing as red as his hair; Maybeck’s cool persona cracking at the thought that he and Charlene kissed and he wasn’t even aware).

Would the girls wait for him to tell them what he’s done? Or do they already know that their leader's a murderer?

Maybe Philby should be the leader. No one’s died on his watch. What does Wayne’s opinion matter now, anyway?

He should go to them, even just to sit in silence with his friends. But the mere thought sends anxiety clawing up his throat. He’s terrified of what he might see when he looks into their eyes (disgust, horror, fear, anger, even sympathy).

He’ll be alone for tonight, he decides. Plead exhaustion if anyone asks in the morning. It isn’t a lie in the slightest. He feels drained, down to the very marrow, and just wants to sleep.

(He won’t be able to. He’ll toss and turn all night when he does finally drift off around four in the morning he’ll wake up from a nightmare with bile in his throat and phantom blood on his hands.)

-

His hands itch. They’re clean. He washes them anyway.

-

His hands start to crack. They’re dry, constantly, from the repeated washing and relentless hand sanitizer.

Their water bill is going to be astronomical, he thinks belatedly.

It’s been a little over two months since…since.

They haven’t crossed over once, Philby putting a stop to it as soon as he was back at his computer, not needing to ask the others if it was okay. There wasn’t much of a need for them, anyway. The OTs were surely scrambling to figure out what to do without Maleficent.

None of them end up caring too much.

They haven’t gotten together much since they arrived back in Florida. They had individual meetings with some high-up Disney execs and then were told to please forget this unpleasantness had happened and sign the new NDAs and oh, don’t forget they needed to post on the official Disney Host Interactive social media at least twice a month.

(His contract is extended for two more years. He doesn’t read the fine print as he signs away his life again. Not that it matters. They’ve already made a killer out of him.)

They’ve slowly been talking in the group chat again, small comments about class and families that carefully skirt around anything too heavy. Charlene sends a picture of her cat in a sink and Maybeck sends back his latest attempt at a donut vase and slowly, slowly, they start to feel like friends again.

Amanda keeps coming over, stretching out the last few days of summer with him whenever she can. He’s rotten company; doesn’t talk much but she doesn’t mind. She talks endlessly about her days, long and boring though they may be, until her voice goes hoarse and he can’t help but get up and grab her a glass of water.

He’s trying, slowly, to explain what happened to her. It had been surprisingly easy to hear Willa and Charlene fill Philby and Maybeck in on the story, he himself stepping in to fill their gaps. It’d been mindless, almost; he’d been too focused on how necessary it was that the panic and fear hadn’t hit him until hours later, hands itching until he’d scrubbed them raw.

(“PSTD,” his therapist says when he finally works up the courage to see one. “Trauma responses and rituals to help self soothe.”)

It’s amazing, really, dealing with grief. How often had he really thought of Dillard before the cruise? They’d certainly been growing apart in recent years, Finn spending more time with the Keepers and working and far less with his childhood best friend. It’d been easy to justify, at the time. Dillard wasn’t a Keeper, wasn’t a DHI; couldn’t understand what he and his friends were going through no matter how hard he tried; not like Jess and Amanda could.

Well, not until Wayne dragged him in.

He misses Dillard at the most random times, sharp aches deep in his chest at the mention of his favorite foods, the theme to his favorite video games; snatches of conversation from other neighborhood boys about girls and school and games. A sudden wave of grief and guilt a misery so strong that he’ll climb into bed and not be able to leave for days.

And then other times he won't think of Dillard at all for days at a time; feel content, almost, until he remembers and then the guilt of forgetting, of neglecting his best friend’s memory is almost the worst part.

He’s fifteen. He’s famous. He’s killed his best friend. He’s a soldier in a war he never should’ve known about. He’s a leader, or at least he’s supposed to be.

His hands itch.

#look if ridley’s gonna wave away trauma and mental health SOMEONE’S gotta point out that these kids aren’t alright #finn is sad willa is sad jess is sad THEYRE ALL SAD #and probably really mad a disney which #how very girl boss of them #what even happens after they get off the cruise?? how on earth does disney explain a passenger that wasn’t supposed to be there dying??? #what do they tell his parents?? #do the other keepers go to the funeral??? #does mrs whitman know what happened??? #do their classmates?? #is it common knowledge that dillard got stabbed or is did they spin it as like a cat accident or something??? #also where did his parents think he was when he was on the cruise? #why do i have so many thoughts on a badly plotted hardly edited kids series from the 2000s that was effectively one giant ad campaign? #idk mental health reasons probably #do you guys ever read my tags? #i put a lot of bullshit here normally. just a lot of thoughts. like a little journal! #anyway #my wrtitng #finn whitman #dell philby #terry maybeck #charlene turner #willa angelo #amanda lockhart #jessica lockhart #kingdom keepers #ridley pearson #not tagging wayne because he really is a jackass