#god i'm fucking trying to have some kind of epiphany here where i can have it all click and be like ''even if i have my problems i can still

[moonscape]

okay i'm going to be nicer to totk for real now *deletes most of my drafts*

#bwark #god i'm fucking trying to have some kind of epiphany here where i can have it all click and be like ''even if i have my problems i can still #get enjoyment out of it'' but this game makes it so damn difficult #''i can discuss the story'' wait nope can't. story sucks ass and butt #''what about the exploration? that was the best part of botw'' uh no can't do that when the surface is practically the same and there's no #substance to the sky or the depths #''gameplay?'' i don't like ultrahand. which sucks when that's 90% of the gameplay #i respect the work that must've gone into it and the creativity it's drawn from fans but making one gameplay aspect literally ALL YOU DO #runs the risk of alienating people who can't get behind #and sure other zelda games have their gimmicks but it's different #like take tp for example. i get that the wolf mechanic isn't for everyone. but aside from the early game twilight sections and a few sparse #puzzles in the later game you're never really forced to play as wolf so it doesn't overstay its welcome #god i just remembered that totk turned wolf link into meat chunks. another thing they took from us 😔 #actually on that genuinely why couldn't they just bring him back? #like you're reusing a ton of shit from botw anyway?? #which brings me back to my main point is that anything that isn't new is just. botw again #shrines are back but they're uglier. dungeons are the divine beasts but in a new coat of paint #why did they add more shrines to the game anyway? like you'd think they'd at least lower the number because fans didn't want them to return #the SINGULAR leg up i can think of id the bosses. yeah i love botw and i'll hold my hands up and say that a lot of the common complaints for #it don't bother me personally but yeah the blights absolutely sucked #divebombing colgera with the dragon roost theme playing was the closest thing that this game came to giving me an experience #okay i'll shut up now I'M GOING TO BE NICE EVEN IF IT KILLS ME

[devilish-mirage]

Anyone is free to share a thought and write their own version of this story, that's the reason why I put this post up. To let countless of beautiful minds to be creative, to make this AU their own; as long as you give credit of course! I would be delighted to read all of them. So unleash all of your thoughts, love!

I can't write for the life of me but imagine a fantasy world where the moon bois were the cursed!crown prince cause they didn't have the medical knowledge and maybe they're somehow a demon? Idk 😩

It would set in a medieval timeline and we (the reader) is an assassin who disguise ourself as his new maid.

We'd have all the qualities of a killing machine- cold and calculated, knows how to use our sex to advantages, manipulate, gatekeep and girlbossing our way to murder.

My god- just imagine us sneaking inside their bedroom, we'd get on top of him, sitting still on their stomach as we pull a dagger from our thigh strap as we aim for his neck.

Steven was the one who woke up and stare at us, eyes wide with admiration as the moonlight illuminates our face, highlighting our eyes and we'd stare deep into each other's eyes while the dagger touching his adam apple dangerously.

"Beautiful." He says out loud, we roll our eyes in amusement and tries to push the dagger only to be pinned down by Marc as he glare at us, face dangerously close that we can feel his breath on our face.

THE TROUPE WOULD BE SOMETHING LIKE:

Pretend engagement, forbidden love, the guy only kneels for his girl, destined to be together, I hate everyone but you, belated love epiphany.

Magic, magic, magic and more magic because I wanna be a magician/sorcerer. It's cool ok- 🏃🏃🏃

Steven: friends to lovers, he's warm, he's kind and he always tries to see the better in us, always forgiving us and give us many chances to make it up to him.

Marc: enemies to lovers, grumpy x sunshine. Marc being the grumpy, cold and rude to us, literally hate us because we tried to kill him while we're the sunshine and we'd be really flirty with him, always getting on his nerve and annoying him.

Now onto jake, I honestly feel like he's very unhinged and smooth because we've seen how he shamelessly seduced that nurse and dragged Harrow out. So maybe the dynamic that we have would probably be enemies to lovers like Marc but instead Jake being flirty with us and we'd also be like that, we'd amuse and entertain each other in ways that no one can.

But Jake is really dangerous and fucking feral, I want him to be the possessive n UNHINGED lover. The kind that wont hesitate to kill/hurt anyone that touches us. And we knows it so we sometimes be on high guard and switch to our assassin's persona, u know on how we'd be on edge because he makes us uneasy and stuff, unlike Marc and Steven we didn't know what's on Jake's mind and what does he think of us. But oh do we love to see him in all his maniacal glory, got us feelin' some type of way. 😏😏😏

She fell first but he fell harder for both Jake and Marc please bcs >>>>

The words that I would love to squeeze inside the fic:

1. "Kiss me- and this time don't fucking stop."

2. "Where is home?" "With me."

3. "I can't stop-" "Then don't."

4. "Touch them and you die."

5. "Are you mine?" "All yours."

6 "You look so pretty like this." "Only for you."

7. "The problem with me is you."

9. "If I kill them right before your eyes, will you still stay?" "Always, without a doubt."

10. "WHO DID THIS TO YOU?"

11. "I'm not a gentleman." "Lucky for you I'm not into them."

12. "You like what you see, Darlin'?"

13. "I'm supposed to hate you." "And yet- here we are."

14. "Do I make you nervous, Lockley/Spector/Grant?"

15. "You think you can intimidate me?"

16. "I hate myself for loving you, but I loathe the thought of not having you more."

17. "I love the way you make me feel." "Even when I'm trying to kill you?" "Especially that."

18. "I will burn the whole world down- just for you. You only need to say the word."

19. "What have I told you about you and your orders?"

20. "I hate you." "That's not what you said last night, sweetheart."

21. "Say it again, I love the way you say my name."

22. "You really has no fear." "Thanks for the compliment."

23. "I want to hurt you so bad." "I want to see you try."

24. "I like when you get mad."

25. "Don't look at me like that."

26. "The things I would do to you."

SOMEONE OR MAYBE MULTIPLE AUTHORS COULD WRITE THIS SERIES AND MAKE THEIR OWN VERSIONS??? I WOULD LOVE IT SO MUCH IF THAT HAPPENS OMG!!! ANYWAY- PLEASE WRITE OR TAG SOMEONE WHO WOULD BECAUSE I CAN'T WRITE GAAHHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭

#steven grant x reader #marc spector x reader #moon knight #moon knight x reader #jake lockley x reader #steven grant #marc spector #jake lockley #moon knight fanfiction #medieval #fantasy #assasin #cursed!crown prince #mira's thoughts #miras's brainrot #oscar isaac hernandez estrada #oscar isaac #steven grant x you #x female reader

[vaulthunterlands]

So some thoughts on the Pre-Sequel because I just finished the story after four years of not playing it, obviously SPOILERS if you haven't played so skip this post if you haven't (and give the game a try)

I remember when Pre-Sequel first came out and how much people disliked it. Played it myself and honestly wasn't a fan (probably because I was A: 14 B: playing it on a toaster basically and C: extremely stupid. That last one hasn't changed a ton but we're getting there.) So after a few years I uninstalled it on steam and I hadn't played it since 2018. Surely it couldn't be as bad as I remembered, right?

It wasn't as bad as I remembered.

This game is really fucking good.

Okay I know no one cares that local Tumblr user has an epiphany but holy shit I enjoyed myself. The story was really solid for stuff they just kind of had to make up in a short time period (2 years after BL2 released iirc) and I thought they did a phenomenal job. One thing I really enjoyed was just how it showed that while the tops of corporations are typically shitty, with Tassiter and obviously Jack, there are just a bunch of real, honest people there that aren't evil just because they work for the mega corporation. (I'm not talking about Jack, that's a discussion for another time.) One part I really enjoyed was literally in the opening sequence of the game. Jack says "We don't even really have a real military here, they're just killing workers." And like. That fucked me up? Because it isn't like BL2 where you're fighting the Hyperion Military, or BL3 where you're fighting the Maliwan military. The Lost Legion just slaughtered innocent people. Whether Zarpedon was right is, again, a discussion for another time, but shit. Can you imagine if you were working for like a mega-Amazon company and all of a sudden another corporation's ARMY started gunning your friends and coworkers down? I mean Jesus, even someone with no empathy would be fucked up by that.

I chose Athena for the first run because it felt *right*. Obviously she's the one recounting the story, and I think the events of the story were harder-hitting when you got to see Athena's reaction firsthand. Side note I switched to a melee build about halfway through and GOD DAMN it was fun.

Idk, I guess this isn't really a review like you'd see on YouTube. Just thought that a refreshed perspective on the game I once disliked might have interested you guys. If you haven't played TPS--play it. I promise, it's worth it.

#borderlands #borderlands the presequel #handsome jack #colonel zarpedon #hyperion #long post

[roosterbruiser]

doing some incorrect quotes for my characters and here are a few good ones:

Faye: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

Landslide uncle!Bob: I don't follow the rules. I follow dogs on social media.

Landslide Bob: I've never encountered a problem that can't be solved by an spontaneous musical number.

Landslide dad!Bradley, making coffee: This is going to fix everything.

Faye: Be right back, gonna go hit the toilet for a quick power sob!

Landslide Bob: A fistfight CAN be romantic.

Landslide Bob, after having a nosebleed: Welp. Time to wash the blood off my hands.

Landslide uncle!Bob, lying on the floor, depressed: I'll never be a cop. I'm gonna have to be a robber.

Landslide Bradley: ...This is one of those moments where it doesn't really matter what I have to say, isn't it?

Landslide Hangman on Monday: *glues a dime to the sidewalk* Heh heh heh.  Landslide Hangman on Wednesday: *walking down the street* Ooh hey! A dime!

Landslide dad!Bradley, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

Faye: What do you call disobeying the law?  The Squad: A hobby.  Landslide Bob: *crosses his arms*  The Squad: That we do not engage in.

Faye: I think my guardian angel drinks.

Faye: Woah dude, premarital handholding? That’s just not cool or groovy.

Landslide Bob, after getting a library card: Now I know what true power feels like.

Landslide Bob: I’ve never smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once at a party. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there was no pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.

Maggie: The only thing I'm guilty of is being adorable... ...and also assault with a deadly weapon.

Landslide dad!Bradley: I have no respect for Santa. Don’t sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man.

Landslide dad!Bradley: We got a free day now. What do you wanna do? Eat? Sleep? Nap? Snack?

Maggie: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy. (sorry this is literally evil)

Faye: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany! Faye, earlier: I'm going to throw myself into the sea.

Landslide Jake: My heart is guarded but like…very poorly. The kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R rated movie.

Landslide dad!Bradley, seeing a banana on the car seat: What the FUCK?? Landslide dad!Bradley, buckling the banana up: Fucking buckle UP, it’s the LAW!

Landslide Jake: Yeah I'm LGBT. Landslide Jake: cuLt leader. Landslide Jake: God hates me personally. Landslide Jake: cowBoy hat. Landslide Jake: *sniffles* Trying my best.

Landslide dad!Bradley: I’ve made a spread sheet of all the crime in Brooklyn.  Landslide dad!Bradley: There’s so much crime in New York, no one should live here.

Landslide dad!Bradley: I love the term 'partners'. Are we dating? Are we robbing a bank? Are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit? Who knows.

#landslide #rumours universe #faye x bradley #jake seresin #these are so funny #jake is in love w faye haha #I love bob so much #bob floyd #he deserves everything and more

[thisdreamplace]

Hey ... So I'm having this problem that's. Not really a problem. But I just idk. I'm in a very confused phase right now. I kind of had this mild realisation earlier today after reading some of your posts. Like this very small epiphany that yes, I really am god, I really am in charge. But it was more like "ohh, I just need to acknowledge this fact and live in it to fully step into my power and start living the life I want" kinda deal, not an ACTUALLY acknowledging my power, living in it, fully stepping into it kinda deal. I've wanted to go into the void for a while, months actually, and I realised - hey, wtf? This is the law of ASSUMPTION. Just live in your imagination, become totally deluded and convince yourself that you're going to go into the void tonight or that you go into it every time you fall asleep or that it's just ridiculously easy for you to get in. Even if it doesn't happen at first, so what? You're supposed to ignore the 3D and live in the 4D. Just persist in it and, because you're pretty good at manifesting despite your constant spiralling and doubts and questionable self concept, within a few days the 3D will conform and you'll get in. Then you'll set the intention for every single desire you have from your very long list, then you'll shift to one of your fun little DRs and stay there for a few days before coming back to this reality and THEN you'll begin living the life of your dreams and finally enjoying yourself and being happy. It's so simple. Just change your thoughts.

And then I didn't do any of that.

Idk. I don't know why I didn't. It's night right now where I am and in a while I'm going to sleep and I'm going to try to go into the void again and fail because I didn't do any of it and I'm very tired and I don't know what to do and I'm also confused because why am I making this so hard for myself? The void is literally within me. I already have the assumption that it's easy to enter the void and that I'll get in after 5 minutes or less of affirming. I didn't succeed before because I didn't actually try - I got stuck on the part where you're supposed to find a comfortable position to stay still and relax in. I flopped around for hours trying to get comfortable, until eventually I got so tired and frustrated that I said fuck it and went to sleep. This happened a few nights in a row. I have (strongly suspected) ADHD and I fidget a lot, especially at night when I'm laying down and trying to sleep, and it helps me focus and relax. But you're supposed to stay still when affirming for the void so that just sucks. Two nights ago I tried for the void again and for the first time I actually got symptoms - my calves felt like they were floating or expanding and I got really excited, but then I think I just lost focus or something because it stopped and then I lost my momentum. I KNOWW you don't need the void to manifest and trust me, I don't put it on a pedestal or anything (or at least I try not to) and I do believe that it's easy to enter. Just not for me. And I know how to fix it hence the entire first part of this incredibly long and annoying message but for some reason I choose not to. Also it might be worth mentioning I had about two mental breakdowns this week and I've just generally not been feeling the greatest, so that might be having some effect in my manifestations and mindset. In fact the only reason I'm writing this is because I was feeling really bored and depressed and hopeless and I just wanted some advice about ... Literally anything. All I want to do is go to the void, manifest my dream life, and dip. After I get all those things I want, including being cured by what can be considered a disability, I'll finally be happy. That's probably a damaging way to think. But anyway.

What am I doing wrong?

hi. tbh bestie this is kind of going to be tough love bc honestly speaking

you said a lot of things here but what stood out to me the most was this part:

“I KNOWW you don't need the void to manifest and trust me, I don't put it on a pedestal or anything (or at least I try not to) and I do believe that it's easy to enter.”

with all the love, and this isnt just towards you but many others, you need to get real. lol it has me gagged that so many of you sit here sounding like, “life is so hard. im very ugly. no one loves me. im so depressed. my self concept is really good though so like where am i going wrong 💔” like lmfao…….

there’s not one bit of you in this ask that has me convinced that you actually know the things you’re claiming. you don’t need the void, you don’t put it on a pedastal… and yet you send me this ask where you’re obsessed with it. okay…

so let’s just start there. honesty with oneself is the first step. in the law especially, lying to yourself actually never works because like it says in the bible god will not be mocked. this means that you can pretend to be some type of way, but the god within knows what you’re REALLY saying within yourself. don’t be surprised when your real story you believe in keeps showing up in your life.

second thing that stood out to me:

“After I get all those things I want, including being cured by what can be considered a disability, I'll finally be happy. That's probably a damaging way to think. But anyway.”

those who wait for happiness wait forever. because it was always within, it was never a destination. it was always there and they ignored it. i think we try to write things off by pretending we’re acknowledging it “that’s probably a damaging way to think.” no, it actually is the reason why you’re in a self sabotaging doom loop. i’m not really sure what you want ? the law is driven by the self and only the self. either you’re in charge or you’re not. either you take control of your life or you keep thinking the universe may come in and save you. choose one because it simply will never work both ways.

when people come to me honestly, i will truly do what i can to help you no matter how hard it gets. when people come to be complacently, i’m not sure what to do. if you sit here and say you know everything and you just refuse to do it… then… alright. no one said you have to get what you want in life. it is completely optional for some of you. for me though, it’s the only path i see. thats why i stay committed and devoted to myself everyday because i deserve it all. and i know there’s plenty of you out there who feel how i do and wake up everyday to do your best. i do what i need to do to make sure i’m taken care of, because i love me and look out for me. if you’re gonna treat yourself like a second choice, and can’t even be bothered to turn within yourself and be the support you need then… i’m not sure what i could do for you. the law is fully based on self and only the self.

also it’s not always as easy as just flipping thoughts. it works for some people, sure. but that has nothing to do with those of us who it doesn’t work for. lol there’s other paths in this than just flipping thoughts and relying on the void like it’s ur lifeline. so if i was u i would lighten up a little and explore and learn myself and do what actually feels good to me and not what the entire online community is telling me to do.

i think sometimes some of us have actual old stories we have to work thru first. like your choice to just keep doing nothing isn’t just bc. there’s something inside u that is actively making it this hard. i also had this type of similiarity i had once had to sit down with and confront and accept about myself so i could let it go. so yeah. i’m not into the idea that you can just… bypass ur deeply engrained old story. it’ll keep being the place u operate from until u properly acknowledge it and allow urself to shift. note how none of this about force. it’s just about allowing. on my blog u have more than enough advice on how this is done. (pls check #i am and #allowing tags)

anyway i hope this helps you to maybe take on a new perspective and move forward in a way you would want for yourself. sorry it it was ever harsh but i do think its important to share this, for others who can relate to you. 💞

#i am

[ineffablecolors]

I'm sending you 42. and 80. (because this gotta be funnnn) for the trope mash-up, but only as long as you don't forget that you also kinda promised to write the pregnant-neighbor-comes-begging-for-food thing. Because I won't forget about it. :)

The lovely @laschatzi is talking about this post. I cheated a little bit but I hope you’d like how because now we have

Hungry pregnant neighbour + The Big Damn Kiss + Green-Eyed Epiphany 

Family Recipe;  ~ 5, 500 words; FF.NET || AO3

previous: wilderness/survival + I Didn’t Mean To Turn You On &Detective AU  + Awful First Meeting

Killian is somewhatashamed to admit that he has become something of a take-out guy.

It’s just… it’s one ofthose things he never got back into after losing his hand. Like volleyball. Orplaying the guitar. Or arm wrestling Will. Or the black nail polish. Or goingto the beach. Or hitting on that cute girl at the bakery around the corner. Orgirls,period. Or basically anyone he didn’t already know before the accident.

But anyway. Cooking.He never got back into cooking. He was never all that good at it to begin withbut it gave him a funny sort of pride and he enjoyed it.

He enjoyed having togo to three different stores to manage to collect all the herbs and spices fora proper curry. And lying all his products out – basically filling everyavailable space and then having to push stuff around to have somewhere toactually cook. And chopping histomatoes really fine – concasse, was it? – and his onions not quite because hedid not enjoy crying over their massacred corpses. And – never to be revealedto another living soul – making a mini forest around his chopping board withthe broccoli and the cauliflower. And the whole kitchen smelling for two daysafter. And basically making a mess of every horizontal surface – and thevertical ones that one time when he was learning how to spin pizza dough.

Yeah, he enjoyed that.And then he didn’t. Couldn’t. Didn’t.

And now here he is,sipping his beer and scrolling down his take-out app as if he doesn’t knowhe’ll get the Chinese because he had pizza twice during the week and they’vetotally ruined the Mexican place and Liam says he is a masochist but he is nota ‘take-out sushi’ level of masochist.

He looks outside.Checks his watch. At least two more hours of solid daylight. He wasn’t evenhungry yet. He could get some tortilla chips to snack on while trying to see ifhis oven still works.

Really… what couldhappen?

///

Mrs Lucas has spoilther.

It is the only reasonEmma is even contemplating this. That and the fact that it smells really good.

And look here, Emma isnot one of those girls that needs to always get what she wants. She iscertainly not used to getting whatshe wants. It’s just… her baby doesn’t seem to have followed in her footsteps.

It might havesomething to do with said baby not even having feet to walk with yet. Or… shethinks – tries to remember what she’s been readying semi-obsessively and thenthrowing under the bed as if the books are judging her for her singleness andbrokenness and the general dinginess of her apartment – maybe it has feetalready?

They’re definitelyforming but definitely not usable hence no following in any footsteps anytimesoon. There. She’s leaving it at that. Maybe she’ll dig out that last book fromunder her bed tonight. After she has some dinner.

Which brings her rightback to the problem at hand.

She is pretty surethat 5C is one of those bachelors that live on beer, pizza and whatever elseyou can get delivered to your door; has a football or poker night with the guysevery month – see the football she is sure about ‘cause those walls are fuckingthin and those boys are fucking loud but she likes to imagine the pokeras well ever since she saw the guy in this super slick vest that she is sureonly people who can actually step into a casino and somehow manage to not look sleazy own; occasionally blaststoo loud music but not often enough to warrant a complaint; puts Netflix on loud enough and regularly enough that her brokeass is hoping she can keep up with the new season of Stranger Things simply bymoving her couch next to the wall his TV sits against; never brings girls backto his place.

Honestly, Emma is notjudging (or stalking – the walls are thin).She’d probably be giving 5C a run for his money on the easy single living, ifshe wasn’t pregnant and broke and grumpy half the time and hungry the otherhalf – which also makes her grumpy, and generally disillusioned with humanityand the world and the idea that one might actually be able to enjoy life andnot struggle through it at every step and did she mention broke? She is brokeand constantly hungry and constantly trying to fool her baby into thinking thathe likes overcooked pasta and whatever fruits are on sale this week.

He doesn’t. He likeswhatever 5C is cooking.

///

This was a disastrousidea. The kind of disastrous idea he hasn’t had since he was 4 years old andthought that if he puts snails on Liam’s bed they’d stay there and not like…make their way all over the room that Killianshared with Liam.

This is worse thansnails. This is a dozen utensils in the sink already – because of course hetosses a spoon in the sink the second after he has used it once, of course, why put it to the side and use it again when hehas to stir his unholy concoction, and half a dozen plates – one of those inpieces in a trash bag by the door because your one hand being a slippery one isnot the situation in which you want to be handling porcelain.

He has a sizeable cuton his big toe where he stepped on one of the pieces and his t-shirt issticking to his back from the effort of grinding bloody vegetable – Jesus, heused to run miles without breaking a sweat and now blasted carrots are gettingthe best of him, and all he has to show for all his work is what he hopes is apassable mince.

Now for the mash. Hestill has three limbs and 14 uninjured digits to go…

///

Look, Emma doesn’thave much but she has her pride, ok? And this kid growing inside her has madeher relinquish her hold on that enough to knock on Mrs Lucas’s door and ask herwhat it was she put in her cookies because apparently Emma – or someone else, was addicted to it nowand it was not cinnamon. And that hadtransitioned into Emma becoming almost a firm fixture at Granny’s on weekendsand then into Emma busting tables for a month until Granny gave her a nononsense look and told her she won’t be doing this in a few more months, andafter a week of asking and listening and string pulling and cookie bribing, shegot her a job at August’s bookstore even though he still grumbles that he doesn’tlike anyone else ordering his books.

And, yes, this allworked out pretty well but Mrs Lucas was the one that came to her door on her first week in thebuilding with a plate of those cookies that by this point Emma can barely lookat.

(It’s what she does.She falls in love with peanut butter and then eats so many PBJ sandwiches thatnow she almost gets sick at the mere sight of a jar on the counter. And shehears the The Kooks coming from 5C’s wall and goes on to listen to them onrepeat for two weeks. Mind you, not even everything but just Junk of the Heartbecause she is mental like that. And she starts Modern Family, when she stillhad a freaking Netflix account, and binges the whole damn thing in a couple ofweekends and a few late week nights.)

So, yeah, Emma mighthave some addictive tendencies – the legal kind, and some impulse controlissues.

But Emma would neveractually go to someone’s door – someone she has never exchanged a single wordwith despite sometimes hearing their voice float through her wall – and, yeah,he has a pretty voice but what’s that gonna do for her? shitty people can havegreat voices, she is sure – to ask them forthe love of all that is good and holy, what they are cooking because it smellsso fucking good and she has to know and she has to have something that at leastcomes close to it.

She’d never.

///

It’s in the oven. It’sover. Well, all he has to do now is make sure he doesn’t burn the damn thing toa crisp. But if he managed to put it together in the first place, for the firsttime tonight, Killian thinks he can maybe pull this off.

///

It got worse. Worse asin better. Fuck, it got so much better. And now her stomach is grumbling andshe has made for the door three times in the last five minutes and for thefirst time tonight Emma is coming to the horrible realization that she probablywon’t be able to survive this day with her dignity intact.

///

He is just about todig into his plate – fancy plate set and fancy napkins that he didn’t even knowhe owned and the second episode of American Gods queued up and-

There’s a knock on hisdoor.

Killian freezes withhis fork in the air, eyebrows bunching together. Who on earth? He knows hehasn’t invited any of the guys over and Liam knows better than to just drop infor an unexpected ‘we are going out and getting you someone to go home with’visit by this point.

He waits. Nothing.Maybe he imagined it?

///

“There, happy?”

Emma glances down ather slightly rounded stomach and tries on her best ‘mom look’. She thinksshe’ll definitely need to work on that one before the baby comes out because heis already too stubborn for her owngood.

She glances at thedoor with 5C on it one more time, raises her hand and then drops it again.

No. She knocked. Thisis a sign. For once the universe is sparing her the embarrassment and-

“Yes?”

No, of course, not.Why would the universe ever spare her anything?

///

She must be the onethat knocked. 5B. His sweatpants neighbour.

Killian tries not tofeel bad about the nickname. They’ve never been properly introduced and… well,he has mostly seen her back disappearing inside her apartment or her back goingdown the stairs with laundry or her back rushing below his window on a jog. Sohe’s never seen her in anything but sweatpants. He’s not judging. It’s just…the only thing he had to go on.

She is in sweatpantsnow as well but as he looks at her to ask what she needs, he is taken aback byher green eyes. He is taken aback by the sudden realization that his neighbouris this young and very pretty woman and her eyes are the kind of eyes you can’thelp but notice.

It’s… interesting. Hehas heard the soundtrack of her daily life through the wall they share for afew months now but somehow he never imagined the face and body that must gowith those sounds.

As he thinks his gazeslides down almost involuntary and he doesn’t know what catches his attentionmore: the fact that she is a few months pregnant or the fact that she came overbarefoot.

The latter is trulyendearing, the former a tad disheartening for some reason.

Not that he hasanything against kids. Or pregnant women. It’s just… it’s not every day yourealize your neighbour is a pretty girl about your age and currently standingat your doorstep. But he shouldn’t have just assumed and anyway he doesn’treally… that is… is she ever gonna say something?

///

“Lass?”

Emma shakes her head alittle and wants to slap herself back into reality. You know that space andtime continuum where she is not attaching thisman to every sound she has ever heard come through their wall.

(She is convinced heplays air guitar when blasting Bon Jovi hits and that his eyes blaze reallybright when he is swearing at something about “bloody this” and “bloody that”.)

“Umm, hi. Sorry. I…”

He raises an eyebrow.She doesn’t really appreciate the mix of amusement and expectation. Then again,she is standing on his doorstep. He probably has some right to expect anexplanation. Why on earth didn’t she rehearse what she’ll say if he opened thedoor?

“Did you needsomething?”

Fuck.

“I just… ummm, am I botheringyou?”

“Not at all, lass. But,to be frank, I’ll probably be more capable of answering truthfully, if you toldme what you are here for.”

The hell? Was hetalking like that on purpose?

“I-“

Come on, Emma, like aband aid, nowhere to go now unless you wanna be the weirdo asking for a cup offlour.

“What you arecooking?’

///

“Oh.”

Oh. Bloody hell.

Killian can feel hischeeks heating up and focuses half his attention on keeping his hand at hisside and not scratching his damn ear.

“I apologize. I didn’tconsider the smell might bother some-“

“No. No, no, no. Ilike it! So… I was wondering what it was.”

She likes it? Thattimid feeling of pride he felt when he took his dinner out of the over and it wasn’t burn to a crisp grows threetimes.

“It’s just ashepherd’s pie. Slightly altered recipe. My mum’s. Supposedly, probably muckedit up along the way and it’s twice altered now but yeah… Shepherd’s pie.”

“Oh.”

///

Great. She was hopingfor something along the lines of a lasagna. Then maaaybe she could’ve boughtsome frozen crappy version from the supermarket and tried to cheat her bodyinto thinking it was the real thing.

But no, of course,not. It had to be shepherd’s pie. Family recipe edition. Just her damn luck.

“Well, thanks. Andsorry! I was just… curious. Sorry to bother you.”

///

She turns to go andthis might have been the most bizarre conversation he’s had this month.Including that guy on the underground with the orange hair.

Did she just want toknow what the smell invading her home was? She did say she liked it. Maybe-

She is already half toher door so Killian just thinks to hell with it.

“Would you like some?”

He sees her stop deadin her tracks and cringes, hoping he isn’t now the biggest weirdo of her month.And not in a good way.

The blonde turnsaround and he knows the second he sees her face that she would indeed likesome. But Killian likes to think of himself as at least moderately intelligentso he keeps his smile to himself and instead prepares for the distrust in hereyes that is obviously warring with her appetite.

“Do you usually offerfood to unknown women who come knocking on your door?”

“I can’t say, you arethe first.”

He doesn’t actuallysee her cheeks change colour but then again he thinks it might be because shehas been blushing this entire time.

“I didn’t mean tobother-“

“It’s no bother, love.Truly. Now that I feel knowledgeable enough about your intensions to say so.”

She rolls her prettygreen eyes in a way that has his pulse speeding up a bit.

“Plus I just made adish more people share with a family of four. For myself. I think I can sparewhatever you can eat.”

It’s a gamble thatpays off when he sees her eyes blaze up and let’s himself grin at herteasingly.

“I’m sorry, was that achallenge to how much I can eat?”

He steps aside andwaves her in.

She only hesitates fora second.

///

OK, first of all, hisapartment is waaay better than hers like, both bigger and with more naturallight coming in but also simply more tidy and colour-coordinated. Also, ifpossible, it smells even better inside and Emma’s eyes immediately zero in onthe dish on the kitchen counter.

She hears 5C chucklebehind her and tries not to feel even more embarrassed. Her capacity for itmust be running out by this point. Thankfully, he doesn’t make a comment butjust moves around his kitchen island and takes out a plastic food container.IKEA guy. Cute.

It probably takes hera bit longer than it should – what with her still mostly trying to pretend sheis not hustling her nice and pretty neighbour for food – but eventually Emmanotices the peculiar way he moves around his kitchen and operates only with hisright hand. A quick inspection proves that it is because he simply has no leftone to assist him.

“No shit!”

The guy startles ather words and turns around and probably follows her gaze because in the nextmoment the limb is tucked slightly behind him and he is giving her a tensesmile.

“Shit, I’m afraid.”

She honest to Godcovers her mouth. Better late than never. Or not.

“Shit. I mean, sorry!Sorry. I wasn’t- I was just- you cook?!”

5C frowns at her as ifher person skills are something that would only befit a visiting alien. He’sgot her there.

“Sorry. Again. But,like, I can’t cook for shit even with two hands.”

To be fair, the crapproducts she can afford probably have something to do with it but Emma is gonnabe a single mom pretty soon and she is pretty sure that “to be fair”s won’t cutit when she has to cook for her kid.

But makes-food-that-smells-illegally-good-single-handedlyneighbour seems to relax a little.

Foot – partially outof mouth.

///

Killian tries to unbunchthe muscles in his neck and not keep his right side weirdly angled towards her.It’s fine. Really, it’s fine. She was bound to notice eventually.

“To be honest, this ismy first try in quite some time.”

“Seriously?”

“Indeed. So if you getfood poisoning or something, I’m not to be held accountable.”

The thought gives himpause and he turns to her with his eyebrows all drawn together and almostreluctant to hand her the container in his hand.

“Actually, are youallergic to anything? I mean… I don’t think there’s anything too weird in itand everything I used was fresh but-“

He can’t help butglance down at her stomach. Gods, she ispregnant, right? This will be just the kind of thing-

But the blonde’s handcomes up to her stomach and she smiles at him almost shyly and Killian breathesout a quiet sigh of relief.

“I’m sure it will befine. I mean, the things I’ve been feeding myself… I’m pretty sure someonemight get a bit of a shock from the home-cooked food but definitely not the badkind.”

He tries not tooveranalyze the “feeding myself” part and instead nods and finally hands thecontainer with half of his shepherd’s pie inside.

“Whoa. You really arechallenging me.”

He laughs and dips hishead to the side to admire the way her eyes widen a little.

“It should keep for acouple of days if you put it in the fridge. And you can always just feed it toSmee.”

“Smee?”

“Oh.”

His cold ring grazeshis earlobe and dammit, he forgot to watch out for the damn tick.

“I named the cat thatalways hangs around behind the building.”

“Oooh, ok. And hellno.”

She hugs the food toher chest almost protectively and Killian laughs again and bloody hell, is hecoming across too giggly or something? What else can he say? He-

“Well, I shouldprobably let you finally eat your dinner. Whatever you have left,” she beatshim to it and juts her thumb at the door and he can’t really do anything butnod.

///

She is alreadystepping outside, teeth embedded in her lip and what do you say to the cute neighbour that fed you dinner but not inthe date sense?

“Oh. I’m Emma, by theway. Emma Swan.”

His eyes light up andEmma finally gets to put a mark in the ‘didn’t fuck it up’ column.

“Pleasure to meet you,Swan. Killian Jones. Always at your service, though I must warn you, myculinary repertoire is quite limited.”

Killian Jones with thefancy words and delicious food. Fuck.

///

She uses her employeediscount on something other than baby books for the first time.

He finds the bookwaiting for him outside his door. The post-it note says “This is why peoplelike home-cooked food. Who knew.” And the book is Neil Gaiman’s Fragile Things and it takes him a momentto connect the dots and remember that he was watching Amarican Gods the othernight and, yeah, maybe it makes him feel kinda good that Emma Swan noticed andremembered that.

///

He tries some Mexicannext and it’s 100% because his favourite place has gone to crap and not at allbecause he once saw their delivery guy in front of 5B.

She opens the door andhis face is half-obscured by an IKEA container and he says it’s just a not sosubtle reminder that she hasn’t returned the other one yet and she pretends tobelieve him.

///

She reasons that youcan’t return food containers empty so she tries to bake muffins because muffinsare supposed to be easy.

He hears the firealarm and five second later he is banging on her door and having a veryflustered Emma Swan dragging him inside and pointing at her oven or what can beseen of it behind the cloud of smoke and explaining how it’s all his fault.

///

He’s been looking fora not food-related reason to knock on her door for a week and coming up emptyand he is damn rusty when it comes to talking to pretty girls but then againshe is pregnant and the fact that he didn’t see a naked man in the middle ofher kitchen the one time he was there for 10 minutes doesn’t mean anything somaybe that’s for the best.

She knocks on his doora day after Stranger Things comes out with three bags of popcorn, explainingthat only one of them is for him, obviously.

///

She lives to binge andyet here she is trying to stretch an 8-episode season over more than a week.

He honestly debatescalling Netflix and begging them to somehow somehowrelease more episodes of their damn show.

///

He has been thisscared exactly once in his entire life and that situation included headlightscoming straight at him.

She has a freakingstomach ache, probably from too much popcorn, and she is almost as embarrassedwhen she comes out of the doctor’s office as she was that first night sheknocked on his door but Killian doesn’t really seem to care how she is ok as long as she is.

///

She is scrollingthrough her Instagram at work and she is so bored and distracted that shealmost misses it but then she goes back and blinks and then goes to the accountto check this is not some sort of ridiculous surveillance thing or she doesn’teven know what – but sure enough, there – on @cutestparentstobe, is a pictureof her very pregnant self, eating ice-cream on the beach with one KillianJones.

He doesn’t know how heworms his way into a doctor’s appointment, he just knows that when the nursecalls him “daddy” Emma kinda sputters but doesn’t say anything to contradicther and he sure as hell keeps his trap shut and just smiles and nods when theygive him an ultrasound picture all for himself.

///

They’ve been doingwhatever they are doing for 4 freaking months and within the first couple ofweeks they were already using like only 30% of his couch for the both of themand in a month they started venturing outside the bubble of their apartmentsand Emma never thought she’d be thehand-holding type but yeah, they kinda hold hands all the time and they hug,like, every day and they text all the freaking time while they are at work andshe meets Liam when she is 7 months pregnant and convinced that he is gonnahate her on sight for saddling his little brother with herself and he doesn’treally but he also doesn’t seem to love her on sight and Killian is verypointedly unamused by the lukewarm reception but honestly, Emma is just glad tobe given a chance here, and he goes shopping for baby stuff she can barelyafford with her and then he goes shopping for baby stuff by himself and shegets kinda angry and they kinda break up or whatever at least twice, basicallyeach time Emma decides that this is ridiculous and he can’t just date a girlthat is having another guy’s baby and that’s twice the size she should be andthat he’s only known for a few months and one night Killian lines up fourfreaking shepherd’s pies outside her door and if she even keeps her door closedto that then she must be dead inthere and one night he lets it slip about these therapy sessions that he issupposed to go to but doesn’t and she basically makes an appointment for himand drags him out of the door and maybe threatens him with not coming to herdoctor’s appointments anymore, if he doesn’t go to his.

And through all that and then some, they never actuallykiss.

Sure he kisses hercheek when he wishes her goodnight and she kisses his head when he falls asleepon her during Lord of the Rings and he kisses her hand placatingly every timehe tries to dissuade her from helping him with dinner and she kisses hisforearm in the park that one time he freaks out on her because she is on hisleft side and goes to hold his arm and he kisses her stomach the first time shegrabs his hand and lets him feel the baby kicking but-

They’ve never properly kiss and it’s this lastfrontier and maybe he is waiting for her to cross it but she just can’t seem to.

And then she is givingbirth and he is there when she is givingbirth and they haven’t even kissed.

And then there’s Henryand they both kiss him plenty but-

///

they don’t kiss whenKillian refuses to hold her baby and she is hurt and offended and so confusedand kinda angry and then he says he can’t, he can’t hold him with one hand andshe is just sad and, yeah, maybe still kinda angry but also eerily calm as shebents Killian’s elbow and gives him the kind of look that makes him shut hismouth audibly and places her son in his arms

they don’t kiss whenKillian barges in on her breastfeeding and twirls around on the spot, slappinga hand over his face and sputtering apologies while all she can do is laugh andlaugh and tell him to stop acting like her tits are a big deal and make her acup of that crappy decaf coffee and he does and he also makes sure to look herdirectly in the eyes and then wink very poorly when he says that her tits are a big deal

they don’t kiss when Henrystarts teething and Emma is up at all hours of the night and she looks likefucking hell and Killian tells her so in no uncertain terms and basically,somehow, taking advantage of her sleep-deprived brain, manages to rope her intoa teeth-sharing plan which basically includes her passing half of her insomniaonto him and Emma can’t forgive him and at the same time can’t love him enoughand yeah, she loves him now and they’ve known each other for a year and they haven’t fucking kissed and what ever

///

they don’t kiss whenshe asks him if he thinks maybe, possibly Liam would like to meet Henry and allKillian can do is nod and swallow and start planning the kind of lecture he’llgive his brother, if he dares to voice any of his doubts about the soundness of the situation, but Liamseems to think that if his brother is spending half his day around a certainbaby – no matter whose it is – it probably isn’t a terrible idea for him tomeet said baby and Liam Jones may be a military man and he may have nevergotten over the fact that he didn’t manage to protect his little brother fromall the evils of the world and he may have been determined to give Emma Swan ahard time for even the slightest hint of her using Killian but he is also puttyin the hands of Henry Swan within 10 minutes

they don’t kiss thefirst time she uses the key to his apartment and sneaks into his bedroom in themiddle of the night – baby in her arms and her hair into the messiest bun thathas ever been twisted and her damn sweatpants and her eyes all puffy and herwhispered worries all about not being able to do it and being all alone and notbeing good enough and he just folds himself around both of them and tries tostart the process of getting each ridiculous notion out of her head

they don’t kiss when shetells Henry to spot throwing his food all over daddy and Killian just standsthere – carrot puree all over his t-shirt, and watches as she continueswhipping the eggs in front of her as if she didn’t just- and he loves them bothtoo damn much to point it out and risk having her take it back and bloody hell,he loves her now and they’ve been together for all intents and purposes forover a year now and they haven’t bloodykissed and good lord

///

She comes back fromthe store and heads directly to Killian’s apartment and tries to calculate ifshe and Henry are spending more time at her place or at his at this point. Butas soon as she opens the door and the smell hits her, her calculations are leftoutside in the cold and it’s all she can do not to moan out loud. Turns out itwasn’t just the little guy growing inside her that made her love Killian’spies.

She hears the lowmurmur of Killian’s voice and decides to tiptoe into the kitchen as quietly aspossible. She wants to look at them without giving her presence away just yet,when it’s just them.

And sure enough Henryis tucked into Killian’s left arm, his little fist twisted into the hair at theback of her boyfriend’s neck (god, he is not her freaking boyfriend, along withHenry in his arms he is her entire fucking universe).

She knows what theyare making already but she narrows her eyes as she realizes that she has neveractually seen Killian make his shepherd’spie.

“This is the only wayI can make your mom eat these, Henry.”

He twirls a broccoliin front of her son’s little nose and Emma rolls her eyes. Partially because it’strue and partially because the broccoli version is not her most favourite.

“When you are oldenough I’m gonna teach you how to make it on your own but for now I’ll justshow you how to make yourself a little forest.”

She honestly doesn’tknow if it’s the implication of years tocome in his promise, the fact that he says it so confidently, so easily,without any doubt, without any caveat of “if we are still together”, withoutany alternative in his mind. Or if it’s the fucking forest of broccoli that heis arranging around his chopping board like the most precious human being thathe is.

Emma honestly doesn’tknow. But she does drop the bag she is carrying on the floor and she crossesthe space between them in the time it takes Killian to turn around and open himmouth to greet her. And then she finally finallyfeels his lips under her own.

He tastes even betterthan his damn pie.

#cs ff #captain swan #captain cobra swan #cs au #cs modern au #laschatzi #cs tropes

[statusquoergo]

Here's the thing, I've got a silly prompt, but I kinda feel like you prefer more serious ones? But I'm still going to deliver it so that you can do something about it (or not) with your talent. So I pictured Mike and Harvey working together in season 7, and Mike is stuck with Ed Sheeran song "Shape Of You" for ages. And Harvey can take it anymore. It becomes a thing for Mike, to drive Harvey nuts with the song. Until somehow they got in very embarrasing situation because of that. Feels happen.

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How do you spell “extortion,” anyway? E-x-t-o-r-t?E-x-t-o-r-s? It’s basic knowledge, grade-school stuff, and Harvey definitelyknew when he started reading this fucking document, but seven eight nine hoursstaring at the same sentences over and over and over have that sort of warpingeffect, especially at—Harvey glances at the clock—one AM, holy shit, when didthat happen?

Once more. He’ll read it through once more, top tobottom, and head out for the night.

Mike taps his pen rhythmically against his thigh; one two, three one two, three one two, three,and that’s gotta be a song stuck in his head but Harvey doesn’t know which one.

“This guy’s jerking us around,” Mike mutters, and Harveygrits his teeth.

“No kidding,” he says, narrowing his eyes, “but we’dbetter figure out how before we ask him or we’ll never get the truth.”

Yeah. Yeah, that.

Mike will get it, it’s fine.

He’s about halfway through the file when Mike startstapping the pen again, and he doesn’t seem to notice when he starts humming,too; Harvey recognizes the song now, even if he can’t place the name.

This is going nowhere fast.

“Go home,” he says, closing the file and shoving it intoa file underneath his desk. “Hopefully one of us has an epiphany on the way intomorrow morning.”

Mike looks up at him blearily, arching his back andstretching his arms out in front of him.

“You got it, boss,” he teases, gathering his papers and justbarely keeping from knocking into Harvey’s coffee table as he stumbles towardthe door. He starts humming again as soon as he clears the obstacle course, andHarvey presses his eyes into his palms.

“And stop your goddamn humming.”

Mike tosses a two-fingered salute on his way out.

—

Sauntering in the front door at nine forty-five, Harveytakes a second to appreciate such freedoms afforded to name partners before heheads for Mike’s office. Poor kid’s probably been in for an hour already, hourand a half if he had trouble sleeping last night.

Knocking on the door, Harvey doesn’t wait for an answerbefore he opens it—but he really should have, because Mike isn’t just hummingto himself anymore; he’s graduated to quiet singing, and Harvey can’t make outthe words but he sees his lips moving and catches the musical tone.

“What’ve you got for me?” he asks loudly, finallycatching Mike’s attention as he looks up with a jerk of his neck and slightlywidened eyes.

“Ideas,” he replies promptly, “and…more ideas.”

Harvey sits across from him and raises his handsqueryingly, and Mike sighs through his teeth.

“There’s something rotten in this blackmail angle,” he complains,“but I cannot figure out what it is.”

“Maybe if you tried singing about it,” Harvey tauntsbefore he thinks better of it, and Mike smirks.

“Not without my backup dancers.”

Grinning, Harvey stands and knocks his knuckles againstMike’s desk.

“Let me know when you have your next brilliant flash ofinsight,” he says. “In the meantime, I’ll put Vanessa on it.”

Mike drops his head into his hands. “I’ve gotta get meone of those.”

“Alright, Commissioner.”

—

By three that afternoon, Mike has cobbled together enoughof a theory to start making probing phone calls, and from what little Vanessahas found so far, their conclusions seem to be lining up; when Harvey returnsto his office after a late lunch, Mike has left a stack of papers clippedtogether on top of his laptop with a blue highlighter placed carefully on thedesk beside.

The first page is a concise summary with page references(good boy), informing him that the best information will be on the fifth page,and sure enough, when Harvey flips to it, there’s a Post-It stuck to the topmargin.

“Who pays blackmail through a hospital fund?” Mike’srushed scrawl reads, which is certainly a point worth considering. Then,underneath, a little neater: “The club isn’t the best place to find a lover, sothe bar is where I go; me and my friends at the table doing shots, drinkingfast and then we talk slow.”

The tune begins ringing in his head immediately andHarvey rips the lower half off the Post-It, crumpling it in his fist andtossing it in the garbage.

That little fucker.

Of all things, why did it have to be a love song?

—

“Put Van the Man on the jukebox,” Mike declaresnonsensically, slapping a printout that looks like an email chain down onHarvey’s desk.

“Most people knock,” Harvey drawls, hoping Mike can’ttell that that damn song is suddenly stuck in his head for the third time today.“What’s this?”

“A conversation beginning exactly eleven months ago nextweek between our client Mister Jim Stone and the man he claims to beblackmailing him,” Mike stabs the paper, his eyes lighting up, “initiated by—”

“Stone,” Harvey interrupts, taking the paper and skimmingthe text. “Where’d you get this?”

“My new girl Penelope,” Mike says with a grin. “AnywayI’d say this is pretty damning evidence that the blackmail claim is bullshit.”

“And it only took a week to drag this up,” Harvey says.Leaning back in his chair, he purses his lips and raises his eyebrows. “Sowho’s Penelope? Someone special I should be getting to know?”

“Oh, don’t be jealous, Harvey,” Mike sing-songs, “youknow your love was handmade for somebody like me.”

“Get the fuck out of here,” Harvey chuckles, and Mikewalks backwards out of the office with a little swing in his hips.

Harvey pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. This isstarting to get out of hand.

—

Two days later, Mike and Harvey lurk in the hall as theylet Jim Stone and some assistant of his wait in Conference Room C, uncertain asto exactly why they’ve been called in and hopefully getting nervous. Flippingthrough an unrelated file, Mike tries to look busy in case Stone is watchingthem.

“You wanna be the good cop or the bad cop?” Mike asks,and Harvey scoffs.

“You really asking me that?”

Mike closes the file and bites down on a smirk. “We pushand pull like a magnet do,” he croons; Harvey smacks his shoulder and Mikelaughs.

“Come on, follow my lead.”

God help him, Harvey does, walking half a pace behindMike as they confront Mister Stone.

“Harvey,” Jim says, standing with a cocksure smile. “Iassume I’m here because you have good news?”

“If that’s what you want to call it,” Harvey returnsskeptically, brandishing a printout of the email chain. “How about you start bybeing up front with us about this?”

Harvey watches Jim rush to invent a plausible excuse ashe puffs up his chest and darts a gaze to his assistant; he hasn’t had to lie likethis in awhile, it seems.

Mike begins to hum.

Oh, no you don’t.

“He first contacted me by phone,” Jim says eventually,obviously under the impression that he’s coming across as some kind of smoothcustomer, and Mike stops humming as he rolls his eyes and the assistantscribbles something on a notepad.

“‘Mister Tennon,’” Mike recites, “‘my name is Jim Stone,and I believe I have a proposal which would be of mutual benefit to us if youwould be willing to further discuss the matter at a later date.’ Sounds like anintroduction to me, wouldn’t you say, Harvey?”

“I would,” Harvey agrees, “and frankly Jim, I don’t givea damn what you’re trying to cover up here unless it’s going to come around andbite me in the ass while I’m trying to mount your defense, so how about youstop bullshitting us and explain yourself?”

Stone fumbles for another few seconds before falling backinto his seat, averting his gaze and doing his best to keep from gaping like afish; Harvey cross his arms over his chest and Mike puts his hands on his hips.

Then…wait a second.

For crying out loud, does he even know he’s doing itanymore, or has it become just some awful habit?

Stone starts digging around in his briefcase, as thoughsomething in there will explain his poor planning and general stupidity, whenHarvey hears it clearly:

“I’m in love with your body,” Mike mumbles rhythmically.

Stone pulls out a stack of papers and keeps digging ashis assistant wrings his hands uselessly.

“Every day discovering something brand new…”

Harvey grits his teeth.

“I’m in love with the shape—”

“Alright, that’s it.”

Harvey grabs Mike’s elbow and hauls him stumbling out thedoor into the hall; Stone looks up in surprise and his assistant’s head snapsaround as the door swings shut behind them and Harvey doesn’t often wish theglass walls of this office were made of something a little more opaque, but he sureis wishing that now.

“What the hell are you doing?” he hisses the moment heand Mike are out of view of their client; a couple of stray associates wisely scuttleaway, keeping their heads down, and Mike looks genuinely baffled, raising hishands and shaking his head.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Mike says. Harveyisn’t sure whether to believe him or not.

“That song,” he snaps, “you’ve been—humming it andsinging it and drumming it for a weekand a half!”

“It’s stuck in my head,” Mike mutters.

“That song,” Harvey says dryly. “That song in particularhas been stuck in your head for over aweek.”

Mike shrugs. “I guess? Why, you got something against EdSheeran?”

“Do I— No, Mike, I have something against you singing a love song at me for ten days straight!”

Mike looks down shamefacedly, then back up with his eyesnarrowed. “Wait, why?”

Harvey doesn’t really have an answer to that; or, hedoes, handily, but he’s not about to tell Mike what it is.

“Because it’s very unprofessional,” he declares, which itactually kind of is. “And I know he sure doesn’t look it, but Stone is worth alot of money that I don’t want to see flushed down the drain when he fires us becauseyou can’t get your earworm under control!”

It’s true; Stone’s suit isn’t even made to measure, muchless bespoke. The man clearly has no idea how to handle his fortune. Probably inherited.

But Mike has that look in his eye like he’s uncovered afact buried about a hundred meters underground that someone went to a greatdeal of trouble to hide from him (because Harvey did), and he’s not about tolet it go (just as Harvey taught him).

“But you would’ve been fine with ‘Castle on the Hill.’”

“That’s not the point.”

“That’s exactly the point,” Mike argues. “You said youdon’t like me singing a love song, at you, for ten days, and I’m asking you why,because I have an idea and I’d like to know if we’re on the same page with it.”

Shit.

Wait.

Harvey frowns. “What do you mean, ‘same page’?”

Shoving his hand into his hair, Mike looks away and sighssharply.

“Before I say what I’m going to say, I’d like to remindyou that it would be a huge pain in the ass at this point for you to hiresomeone to replace me and the number of people with eidetic memories is vanishinglysmall so you’re basically guaranteed to never find anyone else who’s goodenough to pass the Bar without going to law school and I’ve got enough dirt onyou and Specter Litt to bury this firm if I really want to but.” He pauses abruptly and Harvey takes a moment to be impressedthat he got that all out in one breath before Mike meets his eyes challengingly.

“I’m getting kind of sick of pretending I’m not super into you.”

Of all the ways this situation could have played out,this is definitely one of the weirdest. Best? Weirdest. But also sort ofawesome.

But very weird.

Harvey clears his throat imperiously and tries to find somestable footing.

“Are you threatening me?”

Mike puts his hands in his pockets and looks upthoughtfully, clenching his teeth; he was confident enough to say what he did,but he’s not completely confident that he’s right about it. Well, he’s a guywho goes after what he wants, that’s for sure; that consequences-be-damnedattitude has gotten him in trouble in the past, but he’s still willing to puthimself out there when it counts.

“I think,” Mike speculates, “that it was more like…blackmail?”

Harvey smirks. “Are you sure about that, because I didn’thear any quid pro quo demands.”

He sees the moment Mike realizes that he hasn’t beenchastised, or demoted, and his cocky grin mimics Harvey’s almost exactly.

“Either you invite me out to dinner in a clearly defineddate-like capacity, or you wait for me to ask you first.”

“You son of a bitch.”

Nodding his agreement, Mike magnanimously offers hishand. “So, Mister Specter, we agree?”

Harvey takes his hand and shakes it firmly. “I’ll pickyou up at eight.”

They hold each other’s grips for a period definitelylonger than necessary, and Mike grins.

“I’ll be waiting.”

Harvey watches fondly as Mike strides back into theconference room and opens a folder full of spreadsheets to shove in theirclient’s face.

The kid sure knows how to handle a tough situation; thisis going to be fun.

There’s just one more question Harvey has to ask himself beforetonight:

The button-front or the Henley?

Chapter Two

—

“I’ve gotta get me one of those.” —Commissioner James Gordon (GaryOldman), Batman Begins (2005)

“Castle on the Hill” is the other lead single fromSheeran’s studio album ÷ (2017).

Just to clarify, Penelope isn’t Mike’s girlfriend, she’s his C.I. (his Vanessa).

#marvey #fanfiction #prompt #Anonymous #oh god i'm so sorry #fluff is not my forte #i can't tell if it's any good #i hope you like it! #but i really am sorry #anyway #one more to go!