loafbud etymology
idk if i had said this before a long time ago here yet, but the "loaf" in my name is actually referring to the "lazy, laying around doing nothing; e.g., loafing around" type of loaf, not loaf as in "bread"
some loafbud lore: i actually came up with the name when i was in my junior year in high school. it was for the last name of a fursona i had back then, which was this oc:
(this is my old art from 2015/16)
this was the time when i started seeing the world thru a more pessimistic lense and instead of countering those negative thoughts with more realistic or optimistic ones, i fed them.
at this age, i was very much someone that'd chant in my head: "long live loners! (← this was literally an oath i swore myself to when i was like,, 17 LOL)! the world is cruel! im a loner because 👿 you made me this way 👿! love isn't real!" and then proceed to fill up my sketchbook with snarling, battle-scared wolves drooling out blood and continue to inwardly blame ppl for my solitude,, even tho I activately chose to isolate myself due to social anxiety & fear of what others thought of me, but my younger self wasn't ready to hear that 😂😂
i say all this because i realized that i created the alias "loafbud" during a more challenging time in my life. "challenging" in the sense that i was always in a constant battle with myself via negative thoughts, when i started choosing to see the world/society in a grim light. i was choosing to let depression define me. I'd still have many positive moments since then, but I'd always allow the dark stuff to consume me from within.
and im here looking back at those days, and how far I've come as a person. even if im not perfect, i grew. i still make mistakes, even the ones that make me go "daaamn loaf, u fucked up big time", but ive allowed myself to learn what ive done wrong, avoid making the same fuckery, and move on! i always used to get so hung up on stuff lol
and after i look back, i come bacm to the present and look at my name: loafbud. i know it's just an alias/online name, but I've always seen myself having a positive future with this alias, even when i was a crabby teenager buried within my own miasma of self-negativity.
it had a meaning then (a meaning i stuck with as a teen), but im in my mid 20s and that meaning has long since no longer resonated with me. and yet i held onto it, desperately. like im this butterfly that's so fucking afraid to leave its cocoon.
i dont want to spend the rest of my life living up to its old meaning: loaf: 'lazy, unproductive'; 'bud: earbuds/buddy'
so starting today, im giving it a new meaning.
IM FLYING OUT OF THIS COCOON GRAAAH‼️‼️‼️‼️ 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
the new meaning behind behind "loafbud":
loaf: basically, when i think about bread, i see it an an analogy for abundance, literally & figuratively
bud: budding; like, imagine a new leaf growing like its just sprouting or smth
(i know aliases, especially online, doesn't always necessarily need to have a hidden or deep meaning behind them. but i always wanted my alias to mean something to me haha)
TL;DR: username lore
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Seeker 2
The second chapter of the project I’m working on! After this, I will be posting new chapters at least once a week, but as I said in an earlier post, if I get possessed by a writing gremlin and bang out three chapters in a week, then that’s how many you’ll get! Lol As always, I love to hear what y’all think, so please feel free to leave a reply!
@officialleehadan @kitvinslakte @nox919 @dierotenixe @stuck-in-theclouds @gyvorn12 @apenvssword @wildforestferret @krceramics @starsdreaming @wordsdreaming
We eat at the Silver Star. Its one of the few taverns in the city that understands how much food a Skeer needs to eat, and feeds us well. After, we head back up the hill in the general direction of the Seeker barracks. I've never liked that name; it sounds so military and austere. The reality is much different.
Our barracks are a sprawling estate in Hightower that provides all the space we need to live, train, and study. After centuries of Seeker occupation, the estate is appointed with luxuries from all over the world, carried home by the Seekers who live here. I've added many myself, in fact. Call it sentimentality, but there's something to be said for making a place feel like home.
And if anyone is touchy about our owning the place, well, it's no more than we're due, if you ask me. We put our lives on the line every day for the sake of the people. I'd say a little luxury isn't an unreasonable reward.
We make our way through the wrought iron gate and head up the gravel path. All around us, fellow Seekers go about their business. The salle and training yards are off to our left. I share a nod with the weaponmaster on our way past, but don't keep his attention as he barks orders. There are more than a dozen foundlings drilling under his watchful eye, their purity charms glittering under the light of the torches. To our right, the riding fields and the stables where we breed and raise the huge striders that Seekers use in place of horses.
“Shall I come with you to report, sir?” Jax asks, pausing inside the grand entryway after we walk through the immense bronze doors. I shake my head.
“No, that’s alright, lad,” I tell him. “I’ll report to the Old Wolf for the both of us. You go take care of your gear and then get yourself a bath.” He nods and smiles gratefully, heading off in the direction of his rooms in the east wing, whistling an old farmer’s tune. I turn and head in the opposite direction, towards the marshal's office in the east wing
The floor is carpeted with deep black, the wood paneling of the walls a rich walnut, polished smooth. The place always smells clean, with hints of incense, woodsmoke, and the oils we use to clean our weapons. Shelves piled high with scrolls and books of all kinds line the walls at regular intervals. If there is a system for their organization, it’s not one that I’ve ever seen before.
“Enter!” comes the gruff order when I knock politely, and I step through the door before coming to attention and saluting sharply, right fist over my hearts.
“Sir,” I say, looking at a point just over the head of High Marshal Imtaral. “Seeker Second Class, Alchanic reporting in.”
“At ease, Zepara,” he says distractedly, and I immediately relax offer a smile.
Djared Imtaral was my mentor back when I was the same age as Jax, and I credit much of my success and skill to the lessons he taught me. He’s known among the Seekers as “The Old Wolf”, and it’s a very apt moniker. He looks like one. An old, tired, grey wolf, though one that is still more than capable of putting the young pups around it in their places. He’s nearly three hundred years old now, and may well hold his post for another sixty years or so before he retires, barring mishap or illness. He trained scores of us over the years. I was his last apprentice before our previous High Marshal, Lord Barray, retired and Imartal took his place.
As always, his desk, an old wooden monstrosity he keeps threatening to burn, is covered in papers. He has half a dozen piles before him, and a larger stack at his right hand. Some he sets aside, and others get a quick, scrawling signature.
Some he glares at, hoping they might simply burst into flames and leave him in peace.
My old teacher does not like paperwork.
“So, how is the youngster doing?” he asks me, gesturing to one of the chairs across from him with his pen. “Luteno, is it?”
“Jaxus Luteno, yes,” I confirm, taking a seat “We found a shade nest that had recently taken root in the Whitebone District of the Outer Ring. Completely purged, got the queen and the nest guard all in one go. I let him take the lead on it, and I’m proud to say that he did spectacularly.”
“Do you think he’s ready for advancement?” he asks, shuffling through the stack of papers on his desk, absently reading and signing off on things as we’re talking. "I've kept an eye on his progress, and he seems to be doing very well."
I consider his question for a few moments before replying. “I would say that it wouldn’t be inappropriate to advance him.”
“But?” he prods, raising an inquisitive brow at me.
“But I would feel less uneasy if we gave it a little more time,” I admit, feeling a little uncomfortable. “It’s not that I have any doubts about his skill, it’s that I’m worried I may not have taught him everything that he needs to know.”
Imtaral chuckles, giving me a look that is both sympathetic and proud at the same time. “Welcome to the reality of being a teacher, my young friend. We just do the best we can and hope that it’s enough.”
I sag into my seat. He's right. I know he's right. I don't even disagree with him, but... Jax is my first apprentice, and I want to make sure I don't screw him up.
“However,” he continues, recapturing my wandering focus. “Yours is not an uncommon sentiment, so I will do what has been done numerous times before now. I will authorize him to advancement from Initiate to Seeker First Class, and assign him as your partner from this point forward until we have need of him elsewhere. Will that suit you?”
I breath out a quiet sigh of relief and nod, feeling a profound rush of gratitude towards my old mentor. “That will do fantastically, sir,” I say, getting to my feet and saluting again. “With your leave, oh wisest of leaders, I would like to go and give the good news to my apprentice and then get out of this gear and into a bath.”
He laughs and flaps a hand at me. “Go, you rogue, out of my sight before I have you thrown into the dungeons!”
I grin as I turn to leave. “You don’t have a dungeon, master.”
“Then I’ll have one built just for you!” he calls after me as I exit his office, completing the old joke between us.
I snicker to myself and head off down the hall to find Jax so I can deliver the good news.
*******************
Three weeks later, and we finally receive our first assignment. During this time, Jax and I have been patrolling the city, mainly in the Outer Ring. He's been doing well since his promotion to Seeker First Class, now more confident in his abilities than he has ever been before. He's an excellent partner; we work well together, and he's bold enough now to make his own decisions, while still being smart enough to defer to my greater level of experience when I offer advice.
I'm proud of him.
My only qualm is that I still haven't gotten him to stop calling me 'sir'. As soon as he gets distracted, he slips back into his old habits, and the 'sir' comes back.
I guess I shouldn't judge. I do it to Imtaral, myself.
A message runner finds us on our way out of an apothecary, having just finished putting down a stalker that the idiot was keeping for fresh ingredients. Naturally, it got loose and killed him along with three of his customers.
"Why would someone think that was a good idea?" Jax complains, wiping his silver-edged broadsword clean of viscera under a nearby fountain. He's limping; the stalker managed to get in a good bite on his calf. "Graaah that stings! Of course it got loose! It's a bloody stalker!"
Stalker venom is nasty stuff, able to kill a normal human in minutes. Seekers are highly resistant to poison though, so he’s not in any danger of dying. He will, however, be miserable for the next few days while the venom works its way out of his body.
I chuckle and pat him on the shoulder. "You did well in there," I say, crouching down next to him and inspecting the wound on his leg while pulling my aid kit out of my coat. Seeker long-coats are quite possibly my favorite piece of gear besides my coach-gun, Sophia. Essentially a collection of pockets sewn into a knee-length overcoat, the heavy leather is treated with both oil and magic to repel water, acid, and insects. Strips of fine chainmail sewn into the sleeves, shoulders, and chest offer protection that I've needed more often than I like to admit.
A tap on my shoulder makes me turn, one hand going to my blades as I curse myself for my own distraction. When a young page jumps away from me, eyes round with fear, I curse again and bare my empty hands to reassure him.
"Sorry, lad, I didn't hear you," I say gently with an apologetic smile, keeping my hands where he can see them. He's more startled than properly afraid, but I take care to keep from frightening him again. Gods above, but we must be a sight after dealing with the blasted stalker. "We just finished a nasty fight in there, so I'm still a little keyed up."
The boy nods once and grins, showing two missing teeth. "Aye, sirrah, no harm done," he says, then holds out his mark book. "Gots a message for ye here, if'n ye'll sign for't."
I scribble down my signature and hand him back the book along with two silver regents, which he takes with a pleased grin.
"Thankee, sirrah!" he says with delight, and hands me the tightly furled message scroll. "Ye be have'n a good day now!" He gives me a little salute with two fingers and then dashes off up the street to deliver his next message.
I unroll the parchment and quickly scan the contents. What I read chills me. Jax picks up on my mood instantly.
"Trouble, sir?" he asks, more curious than concerned.
"Aye, trouble," I agree, catching his attention. Without preamble, I hand him the scroll as I return to dealing with his leg.
"By order of High Marshal Djared Imtaral, Commander of Imperial Seeker Operations," Jax reads aloud. "Seeker Second Class Zepara Alchanic and Seeker First Class Jaxus Luteno are hereby ordered to proceed with all haste to the city of Strovostgard. A high priority target has been identified in the area. You are to rendezvous with an additional five Seeker teams that have been dispatched and then report to Deputy Marshal Singaren. Additional details will be made available upon arrival."
Jax's eyes have gone round with surprise, and he turns to look at me. "Six Seeker teams, including us? Depending on the size of the team, that's anywhere from twelve to sixteen of us! The amount of force that many Seekers could bring to bear–" He trials off.
I nod grimly, tying off the bandage with a careful tug.
"What on earth could require so many of us?" he says quietly, more to himself than to me, but I answer him anyway, knowing that he's badly shaken at the thought of such a dangerous creature. I know I sure as hell was, the first time.
"The worst kind of monster a Seeker can face," I tell him, getting to my feet and collecting my gear. "Come. This isn't the kind of thing to talk about in the street. Let's head back to the barracks and I'll tell you about the kind of creature that can haunt a Seeker's nightmares."
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