#hallmark exes

[ghostcasket]

Hallmark Exes FAQ!

in light of part 2 being out soon, I’ll be making a little separate FAQ post about them for some backstory info and so i don’t have to keep answering the same questions lol—so send in any questions you have and I’ll answer them in the FAQ!

before getting into the questions, however, I want to clarify something.

Levi and Xavier are my characters. this is my story. while it was prompted by another post—and I encourage everyone who wants to to write their own versions of the prompt!!—it is not a collaborative project. I’ve had multiple separate issues with people wanting to write their own part 2s, and while I really do appreciate that the story resonated so much and inspired people enough to want to add to it, actually doing so and posting it is rude, disrespectful, and a shitty thing to do.

to be clear, I’m not mad at or trying to target any of these people. I know there were no malicious intentions behind it, but my feelings about it remain the same.

I’m not a published author. nobody knows Levi and Xavier are my characters. if someone were to stumble across the original piece and a part 2 someone added without my consent, they’d have no way to know that that’s not canon. any additional info that person decides to include in their writing muddies the waters when I inevitably contradict it, because Levi and Xavier’s story is so much more fleshed out in my head than what I’ve shared on tumblr.

so I guess please just keep that in mind. please don’t hijack my story. it feels weird that I have to say this in the first place, but here we are.

and if you’re about to say something like “but jester, it’s a compliment, it's not that big of a deal! besides, it’s just a tumblr story, it’s not that serious!” I just want to say this: when a writer posts the first chapter of their book or fic on tumblr or ao3 or wattpad or wherever else, do you decide to take it upon yourself to write chapter 2 and post it as if that’s the continuation of the story? no, you wouldn’t, because that’s rude as fuck. this isn’t any different.

ANYWAY. thanks for reading, sorry for the serious post about my silly goofy gay story, don’t forget about any questions you may have :)

#jes.txt #serious post #hallmark exes #hallmark gays #just to be clear. everyone to whom i've reached out about this has been understanding and has deleted their posts #but some of them are still circulating you know #it's just hurtful! literally please just be patient and respect my work and what i'm willing to share yknow #i wouldnt have made this post if people hadn't hijacked my story #please don't take this as an attack though! just a psa

[moorishflower]

Hallmark-Adjacent (Dream/Hob)

Hallmark-Adjacent || Dream of the Endless/Hob Gadling || Explicit || No Warnings Apply || 25k

Inspired by Hallmark Christmas Movies, Strangers to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Requited Unrequited Love, Train Sex, Post-Break Up, Drunkenness, Drunk Sex, Drunken Kissing, Drunk Blow Jobs, Light Angst, Fluff and Smut, Wedding Rings, Christmas, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Holidays, Hand Jobs, Clothed Sex, Exes, Post-Break Up Sex, Professor Hob Gadling, Traumatized Dream of the Endless | Morpheus, Dream of the Endless | Morpheus is Bad at Feelings, Architect Dream of the Endless, Pining, Love at First Sight, Suicidal Thoughts

"So, what's the thing that makes you poor company, stranger?" Morpheus opens his mouth -- it is none of your business, my heart is broken, I am contemplating going home and committing suicide because I am clearly and patently not designed to be loved in any meaningful way -- but is interrupted by Hob's cheerful continuation, "Because I've just been dumped by my girlfriend of two years."

[Fic on AO3]

For the 2023 Dreamling Bingo run by @dreamlingbingo! This is for the square E1, "Requited Unrequited Love"

#the sandman #fanfic #my fic #the sandman fanfic #dreamling #dream/hob #dream of the endless/hob gadling #inspired by Hallmark Christmas movies #what if the sad exes met up

[essektheylyss]

I'm always bewildered by fictional relationships where an ex is characterized in such a way that is clearly framed in a way that wants you to side with the POV character, but the circumstances are like, "Honestly, your ex is fully valid in this situation and I hope they find someone who deserves them because you sure didn't."

#call it the hallmark movie ex-bf effect lol #every time just. your bf has a shitty boss but overall is a really decent hardworking guy. I don't understand the problem #do you not also have a shitty boss? isn't that usually why you are in some random small town on christmas eve? cuz you're working? #I will not lie. it is wild. #like as someone who FULLY looked like the bitch in my primary breakup purely cuz I wasn't airing someone else's dirty laundry. #so I know there is some nuance. #but like. all things considered some writers REALLY want me to hate certain characters but like. don't do ANYTHING to convince me. #I'm like 'you are just making me loathe your main character. why are they such an unsympathetic jackass.' #I also like writing jackasses! but they have to be written as sympathetic or I will root against them!!!

[drusill-a]

RTD is so in love with David Tennant that it makes him look stupid, huh.

#listen friends i dont know what to feel #i love everyone involved #I'm so happy that Donna has her memories back and will spend the rest of her life with her best friend by her side #but that ending felt like it was straight out of a christmas Hallmark movie; my teeth ache from all that saccharine sweetness #I'll be able to justify it if RTD is setting the stage for bringing Tennant and Tate into his UNIT spin-off which seems to be in the works #if that's not the reason it's hard for me to swallow this plot twist with the biregeneration #firstly: RTD did something similar at the end of the fourth season—splitting the Doctor to “give” one version to Rose #it's a bit annoying to see him essentially do the same now by letting another version of the Doctor to stay with Donna #secondly: I missed the emotion in this #I spent a week bracing myself for heartbreak but we went a bit too far in the other direction #we got a cutesy ending where everything resolves through a deus ex machina #yet it’s those bitter and grief-soaked moments are what RTD has always excelled at #when it comes to the Doctor's regeneration and farewells to companions #it's hard to feel much about this plot development #some things should remain final and some goodbyes and endings are unavoidable #the conclusion of Rose’s arc (both from s2 and s4) or Donna's ending in s4 #were among the most emotionally intense moments in the history of television #I missed a bit of that here #perhaps if there were more bitterness in the 14th Doctor's ending if he had to pay some PRICE for this biregeneration #(like not getting his TARDIS #being told that the Fifteenth takes over the regeneration ability #and the Tennant Doctor will die of old age) #emotionally it would have provided viewers with a cool punch #without that it seems like RTD wanted to have his cake and eat it too #have a new Doctor and give his old characters a last-minute happy ending that doesn't make much logical sense #I was hoping to feel more considering how much I love these characters #but my main reaction is an eyeroll #on the positive side I really hope to see Neil Patrick Harris in the show again he was a great villain #and Ncuti Gatwa’s Doctor is already so freaking great!!! <3 #doctor who

[elisedonut]

Percy would work so well for the Ex- hallmark boyfriend character trope

so now I'm sitting here thinking about that

specifically though i'm thinking about the story of two ex hallmark bfs getting together themself and bonding over their similar situations

im not sure who I would put with him in that situation

Ernie Macmillan maybe? I feel like he would fit the type well. He seems like he could also be a workaholic type to me and i do keep saying i want to pair them at some point

anyway fun au concept to think about

#percy weasley #i came across that post talking about the typical ex in hallmark movies actually not deserving what they go through in most cases #and my first thought was just ah Percy could fit that role well #also someone wrote a story about two ex boyfriend types getting together and i was just !!! #so yeah thats what i was thinking about after i saw that

[gxlden-angels]

Did you hear that 700 club guy is dead? I'm going to buy myself some cake and celebrate that my apostasy has outlived my memory of his voice. Felt like you might wanna celebrate too :3

HELL YEA I HEARD! WE'RE POPPING THE BIGGEST BOTTLES TONIGHT YALL

#I forgot all about this motherfucker #My aunt who almost exclusively watched Trinity Broadcasting Network and Hallmark watched him #I haven't seen her in a couple years now and completely erased this shit stain pretending to be human from my mind #then I saw his picture on r/fundiesnarkuncensored and went THATS THE BITCH #rest in piss Pat <333 #Shiny Happy People *and* this fucker's death during Pride month?? AND my christian dad turning a new leaf and accepting me as trans #if the lord hates gays why do we keep winning? #I'm turning 21 soon too we're gonna turn the fuck up #ex christian #religious trauma #ask tag #notevenhypotheticals

[micamicster]

oh my b you guys are right the REAL flaw in trashy romcoms is we don’t pay enough attention to the men 🙄

#this is about that tweet about how great the ex bfs in hallmark movies are #I hate it and I hate all of the stupid additions #I guess criticizing the heteronormativity and the american evangelical christian ideology and the romantization small towns and the racism a #and the rigid enforcement of gender roles etc etc those are not worth discussing! #the REAL hot take is that hallmark movies spend too much time on the female character. the real problem is a woman’s desires and choices #being prioritized over a man’s feelings #can’t believe she should be allowed to break up with a guy just because she didn’t love him or something stupid like that! #it’s not like he beat her! and he accepts the break up? it’s almost as if women are allowed to leave relationships! outrageous! #every time I see that tweet I roll my eyes so hard #(this is not directed at any mutuals btw) #( this is because I just opened 2 fics in a row which had the premise ‘jilted ex bf actually really good guy!’ and linked to that tweet)

[clemsfilmdiary]

Sweet Carolina (2021, Peter Benson)

3/15/23

#Sweet Carolina #Hallmark #Tyler Hynes #Lacey Chabert #Gregory Harrison #Jesse Moss #Teryl Rothery #Cassidy Nugent #Glen Gordon #Peter Benson #Daniel Bacon #TV movie #romance #drama #coming home #traffic accident #grief #sisters #dysfunctional family #exes #old flame #surrogate parents #advertising #restaurateurs #North Carolina #orphans

[katanathegaydemon]

Hello Tumblr I just watched The Boy and Brahms: The Boy II the other day and have been,,,,,  somewhat obsessively looking through the tags for it,,,,,  anywho, anywho, I have a hot take.  I don’t think Brahms would smell bad.  My main real reasoning behind this is, Greta never mentions a smell of any sort in the house, she would’ve mentioned something I’m almost 100% sure of it if there was some random smell emanating from the walls, especially since some walls probably would’ve smelled and others wouldn’t have(Like the walls that were simply too small for him to be in).  There would’ve been some kind of mention of a smell of some kind, so I think, at best, he bathes every day like the schedule says and at worst, he probably smells like mildly unpleasant but not enough that I’d say he’s stinky.  I think most likely he smells like moth balls or an old woman’s closet(Maybe even like dryer sheets or smthn), nothing really inherently bad

#Brahms #Brahms Heelshire #Brahms my beloved #The Boy #The Boy 2016 #I don't think Brahms smells bad #Also #I fucking hated both of these movies #Like #SO bad #Don't read any of the rest of this if you plan on watching them because there may be spoilers but it's just me ranting #Dude #The Boy is probably the WORST horror movie I've ever seen #Which isn't incredibly hard considering how few I've seen #But the other contenders are like #Horror movies for kids #But anyways #It plays out more like a Hallmark film than a horror or thriller of any kind I think #Like the majority of the movie is just shitty Hallmark Christmas movie plot but with a man in the walls #American woman goes to the UK because her abusive ex sent her to the hospital #and she ends up in this huge mansion/castle babysitting for these hella rich British bitches #She's making hella bank #flirting with the cute grocery boy #And taking care of a -seemingly benevolent- spirit #Then crazy ex comes in and BOOM he's trynna take away this new life she's been living #And then the only thing that makes it any different from a hallmark movie is the last like 20 minutes with Brahms coming out of the wall #Seriously dude #Not a horror #I hate they titled it one #I only jumped at the point when the hand pops out of the painting really early on

[pike-the-monstah]

just once i want the holiday romcom about the two warring family businesses to end with the two patriarchs whose former close friendship ended in a bitter, decades-long feud finding love with each other, instead of just their generic children

#listen hallmark i'm just saying #the dads always act like bitter exes anyway #their scenes are always more interesting than the paint-by-numbers romance their kids end up in #just let them kiss #just once

[latibvles]

the DaisRon Hallmark AU Drabble no one asked for because I went “i think i wanna write one” and @shoshiwrites went “do it.” unproofread because im impulsive and writing mainverse makes me weep at times so here's some serotonin.

yadda yadda modern au with slight ‘Last Christmas’ by Wham! influences. Alternatively : two years ago we kissed on Christmas and then you went back to New York got a boyfriend and wow it’s been two years since we last spent a holiday together isn’t that crazy?? Oh you broke up with him? Yeowch. Anyways we really ought to talk about that kiss. Eventually. Lets put a pin in that. Also Daisy’s a full-fledged Doctor in this. Ron’s still Army though. Good on him for being able to make it home for the holiday season!

She’s in some sort of happy middle-ground between the sharp pantsuit he’d seen her in on day one, and the brightly festive pajamas of day two. Blue jeans instead of black slacks, pointy-toed heels traded for a pair of flats. Hair neatly curled in ringlets and tied away from her face in a white bow, dark red sweater sleeves rolled up to the elbow as she washes dishes, setting them aside on a towel. Her lips are cherry-red. She looks comfortable. It suits her.

Ron grabs a dish towel, and starts to dry them.

She looks to her left, he watches the thin line of white as she flashes him what he knows to be a playful smile.

“You trying to get me in trouble on my third day back?” To that, as he puts away a plate, he rolls his eyes.

“Obviously, how’d you know?”

“You’ve met my mother. She’ll skin me alive if she catches me putting a house guest to work.”

Ron chuckles quietly under his breath, shaking his head. It was a true enough statement. There’s an upheaval of laughter coming from the living room, and Mrs. Clarke’s can be heard clear as day.

“Think you’ll get a pass for tonight,” he shrugs, drying cups and plates quickly and then putting them in their proper places. Daisy turns off the sink and shakes her hands and a couple of droplets splatter on his arm. He doesn’t mind.

“I want you to remember this when I get the paddle as a Christmas present,” Ron makes a noise that’s something between a laugh and a scoff. Daisy smiles a little wider, leaning against the countertop. “You’re laughing now, but seriously! Remember it. And I want an apology present too.” Ron nods, rolling his eyes at her request as he moves to lean against the opposing counter.

“Would the gift I already got you count as the apology gift?” He watches as the smile cracks for a moment, her brow raising at his response. For a moment, they stand in a silence only interrupted by the conversations happening just a room away. Her arms unfold from across her chest, resting atop the counter.

“You got me a gift?” He nods simply, taking his lower lip between his teeth for a moment. “How did you…”

“James let it slip when you told him you’d be coming home this year,” He watches as Daisy scoffs, rolling her eyes — likely slightly annoyed at her brother for spoiling the surprise. “He didn’t tell your mom though so… surprise not completely ruined.” She looks him over for a moment, cherry-red lips pressing into a line for a moment before nodding with a brief click of her tongue.

“You make a good point,” she lets out a breathy sort of laugh, looking down at her shoes for a moment. Her shoulders rise and fall as she takes a deep breath, then looks up at him again. “Yeah, it can count for both. I feel a little bad though, I didn’t…” Ron waves a hand dismissively.

“You didn’t know I’d be here.” He can tell by the way her brows furrow, that she isn’t satisfied with that answer. Her gaze flits back to his shoes. Ron can see the gears turning in her head. “Daisy, really, it’s fine—”

“Just let me make it up to you.”

“There’s nothing to make up for.”

“Isn’t there?” She looks up at him now, moving herself from the spot on the opposite side of the kitchen, taking a few steps towards him. Ron doesn’t say anything. If he does, she’ll probably just fight him on it anyway. He might not be the most festive person, but arguing with her in the kitchen during her mother’s holiday party isn’t really how he wants to spend his Saturday evening. He watches as her eyes soften for a moment, when he doesn’t reply. “We’ll have lunch tomorrow, okay? My treat.” Ron sighs, looking her up and down.

“You’re really not gonna let this go, are you?” He isn’t even sure if they’re still talking about the gift.

“If you let me do this, I might.” He’s not mad about the idea — because he missed her, and they haven’t been able to actually talk in three days (and two years, but who’s counting?). And maybe it’s needed, but the prideful, more vindictive part of him would rather not. He elects to ignore it. Whether it's for the sake of the holiday season or an indication of some kind of growth during their separation he isn’t exactly sure of.

“Alright,” he settles on, heart doing a minor flip when she smiles in some sort of contentment. “But I pick the place.”

“Figured that was a given,” Daisy hums out, stepping away from him. She looks to the doorway, then back to him. “I should… we should…”

“And what if I was content to hide out in here for the rest of the night?” Ron poses. She rolls her eyes at that, laughing quietly as they lapse back into some type of back-and-forth.

“Then I’d chase you out with a broom in the morning, like a rat.” He raises a brow at that, another question on the tip of his tongue that’s certain to garner another eye roll.

“Would it at least be the good broom?”

“Ron.” She places her hands on her hips, and Ron shoots her something of a teasing smirk that dissipates as quickly as it arrives. Content with that reply, he pushes himself off the opposing counter, following her out into the living room to join their respective families.

#ron x daisy #. daisy clarke #. ronald speirs #hallmark au #Carolyn and james r married in this btw #so good for them #the ex is Arthur everyone pretend to be shocked #band of brothers #Band of brothers au

[talldecafcappuccino]

It’s time. Time to watch the quintessential holiday Hallmark classic: A December Bride.

#who didn’t dream about being a December bride?? #said NO ONE ever #they don’t make hallmark Christmas movies like they used to #but also they don’t do tropes like this anymore #her cousin’s marrying her ex-fiancé AND she’s stealing her dream of a December wedding? #fake dating ensues #it’s *chef’s kiss*

[rotzaprachim]

i keep trying to come up with something apropriately jewish and r rated to add on to that and i can’t. two lines and the plot is all summed up/ 

#personally i think matthias and nina are exes who get along better when divorced than living together #and amicably have decided to split chanukah nights for their one child which means they get: #2 (two) sweaters 2 (two) socks sets 2 (two) sets of long johns and 2 (two) sets of mittens with the strings #and its like well at least they aren't cold! no fun presents to be had anywhere/ #kaz's gift is a hallmark card that misspels chanukah and contains six hundred in unmarked c notes #perhaps a painting that went missing from a national gallery six weeks ago #this is what i have to say about helnik and actually jewish winter holidays

[floopsboopdedoops]

Don’t mind me just laughing hysterically over what was probably intended to emotionally devastate me

#floops rambles #IT'S JUST SO FUNNY TO ME?? #AND IT 100% WAS MEANT TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD AND GUILT TRIP ME AND ALL THAT #BUT NO I ACTUALLY THINK BETTER OF MYSELF FUCK YOU #anyway. context is i ghosted a very toxic ex friend group with an Actual friend and we left together #they've spent the entire summer BADGERING them and the only message I got was a copy pasted ''you okay?'' #ONLY TO JUST NOW #GET A LETTER FROM THEM ABOUT HOW HURT AND UPSET THEY ARE AND TRYING TO EXTEND AN OLIVE BRANCH #EXCEPT THIS OLIVE BRANCH #///IS IN A FUCKING HALLOWEEN CARD FROM HALLMARK/// #AND THEY SPEND THE ENTIRE TIME BEING PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE AND INSULTING ME AND GOD IT'S JUST #i KNOW they thought i was gonna get upset and cry and come running back #unfortunately for them I am now above that and think better of myself #AND SO. I AM JUST LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY #anyway if you read the tags ty for reading this nonsense with me <3

[ladysophiebeckett]

when i dont spend a lot of time here and i come back,,,its like i forget how to blog : \

#i am depressed lol #literally going fm summertime saddness to possibility up in here #just straight up not having a good time #that being said--i watched the funniest hallmark movie the other night #this woman loses her memory of last two years #and thinks shes engaged to her ex boyfriend #ex is like 'no we broke up two years ago' #and the whole time the woman thinks she broke up with him and doesnt know why #all the while she is engaged to some other guy #anyway not the point #shes trying to get her memory back and the ex is trying to help her #until they go on a sleigh ride #(yeah its a christmas movie im down real bad over here pls dont judge) #anyway after the sleigh ride theyre walking in the snow #and shes like 'oh my god is this where we broke up??' #and he's like 'wait--' #and then it hits her #gets her memory back asap and it turns out she never broke up with him--he broke up with her #and she's like 'i have been feeling so bad this entire time. and you didnt say a thing.' #i know ur like 'alma how is this funny??' its the way it plays out that made it hilarious to me #anyway she's like 'im leaving and im not coming back' #the entire situation is so funny im sorry #and his excuse is dumb bc he was like 'i broke up with bc i felt like i was holding u back' #which is dumb and also he doesnt grovel enough #the ending was meh #but srlsy the reveal that he dumped her was really funny

[vogelmeister]

i went to my ex high school's interhouse performing arts event and it ended in a tie which um, feels like a rip off for the fact i got war flashbacks for two and a half hours

#one thing i did notice tho was the house drama captians didnt write their scripts #which when i did HDC back in 2019 i had to write it myself #like was mine really that bad lmao (lbr if it was and i considered myself awful of a playwright i would not have written goud) #it feels kinda a rip off tbh especially since the hallmark of the event is that it is student created #i did hate mine though may i just say #like i had people approach me tonight and remember mine but i really didnt like it #i remember actually venting to my friend about it for a whole free period #i think i knew it wasnt my best work and i was mad that this was what was being put on #but yeah #my ex house did with drama tonight which was nice for me to see #but the overall result was a tie. deserved. but a tie.