#hate when the gender norms are norming

[bellarichie]

think i understand now why straight girls want gay bestfriends. cause everytime i try to have a friendship with a straight cis man he either ends up a) having a 'crush' on me or b) ghosting me as soon as he gets a girlfriend (sometimes it's both).

#hate when the gender norms are norming #i need more queer friends #casual babbling

[heartscrypt]

i get so mad when ppl say riddle would be ignorant/clueless towards lgbtq+ stuff bc he was raised sheltered. no the fuck he wouldn't. maybe he'd start out that way yeah but as Soon as its implied he doesn't know something hes taking that shit to heart and learning everything he could EVER know about it. hes making a fucking study of it. he knows more than you actually

#twst #txt post #jamie talks #idk maybe this is a delusional take #also shes transfem so jot that down #it just makes me really mad when ppl characterizing riddle as just Not Getting it #''he put she/her pronouns in his magicam bio because he thought he was supposed to put the prns of the gender he was attracted to'' #FIRST OF ALL. THAT'S FUCKING STUPID. #sorry that was a real take i saw on tiktok it made me so mad #anyways riddle literally hates not knowing things and will study relentlessly until he's mastered it #see book 6 gamer riddle + halloween vignette riddle learning how to walk in high heels #and he's not going to disrespect others' identities just because they don't match the norm. what the fuck are you on #in his dorm vignette he was able to process that caters way of retaining information was different from his #and what did he do in response? learned. adapted his approach in order to reach cater in a way the other would understand #it's not so hard to believe that he'd do the same for sexuality+gender identity #anyways im crazy. riddle and her mandatory heartslabyul pronoun pins

[ciderjacks]

Hey FYI killing or assaulting or raping a woman due to misogyny is a hate crime. It is as much of a hate crime as killing or assaulting or raping any other marginalized group due to bigotry and I’d appreciate if we stopped downplaying misogyny and misogynistic violence when literally every single woman I have met has at some point been a victim of misogynistic hate crime. No, men are not “also oppressed by the patriarchy”, if I see one more person make that claim I’m going to kill them. What the hell do you guys even think the patriarchy is. like. Ok. The patriarchy isn’t a gender norm system, that’s it’s own issue that tends to form under the patriarchy. The patriarchy is a system designed to serve men and oppress women, it’s designed so that men are able to obtain power but women aren’t. That’s literally all it is.

#misogyny #hate crime mention #rape mention #murder mention #Like do you seriously think men being told not to cry is equivalent to misogyny #Men being allowed to be more gnc and cry and such Would Not combat the patriarchy it would combat gender norms #Trans acceptance doesn’t combat the patriarchy because trans women are still getting DISPROPORTIONATELY MURDERED #And trans men are finding that after transition they’re gaining privilege and access to things they never thought they could have #Including basic human respect and safety #Meanwhile trans women are losing these things. Losing opportunities privilege safety respect. #THAT IS THE PATRIARCHY. MEN DO NOT SUFFER UNDER IT. #The further away a man is from being a man the less privilege he gets #thats where homophobia comes from #And currently gender norms dictate that an effeminate man or a gay man is less of a man which makes him worthy of discrimination and hate #That’s what people mean when they say “men are oppressed under the patriarchy” but the thing is if gender norms changed and #Gay men became “part of the norm” the patriarchy wouldn’t be any less of an issue #It wouldn’t even shake it. #If transphobia stopped being an issue and trans people became “part of the norm” trans women would still suffer #And due to the systemic sexism that comes with the patriarchy so would trans men #Patriarchy #im so tired of people using that as a buzzword

[unforth]

I stumbled upon the post of you talking about how you're trying to raise a son that won't hate himself for being male. From a young man to the mother of a young man, thank you. Honestly thank you so much. That will mean so so much for your kiddo, both now and for the rest of his life. I hope your mother's day is a joyous one :)

oh anon, many many hugs. and thank you. I hope you don't hate yourself either, you seem like a really kind and caring person. <3

#unforth replies #seriously guys stop saying horrible things about men #the harm it causes it incalculable #my grandmother hated men and while she died before i was born #i've seen the lifetime of baggage and harm her attitudes left my mother and uncle with #especially my uncle #you can't say i hate men but oh no not you you're different #hate the patriarchy and the systems and toxic masculinity #hate the societal norms that lead men into emotional black holes from where they then harm others #but don't hate men this isn't inherent to being male #it's inherent in our broken system that's told an entire gender they're not allowed to cry and shit #ugh i hate it here men are great okay #tbh i can't think of anything more anti-feminist than blanket hating men #i'm just rambling at this point but y'all get the idea #also to be clear my definition of men is anyone who ids as male and therefore takes collatoral damage #when they hear someone say men are the worst or whatever #this has nothing to do with genitalia and everything to do with people who are men #stop hurting men 2k5eva

[maddy-ferguson]

i think the reframing of girls disliking pink and other stereotypically feminine things as internalized misogyny that you should overcome by the time you're an adult woman is an immense feminist loss

#retrospectively... #and like i say: brf slt #like when you think about it. the needing to overcome it. that's crazy?😭 because in the end what are you ACTUALLY encouraging #do i think a lot of girls reject pink at some point growing up in part because it's associated with girls and girls and by extension things #associated with girls are seen as inferior yes...but i think that's kind of a superficial analysis? like maybe it's not just bc we hate #being girls it might also be because liking pink and whatever else is FORCED upon us. and pink itself isnt a big issue its a harmless color #but when you apply that logic to other big things women are encouraged to do...i dont KNOW but SOMEHOW we've come right back to women being #encouraged to like pink and makeup because if they don't they're antifeminists and 'not a girl's girl'? 😭 #i want you to know that as i'm writing this i'm wearing a skirt and tights with hearts on them i dont even have a vested interest in people #thinking stereotypically feminine things like stereotypically feminine clothes are like bad #but yeah when you think like that about pink it's kind of whatever because yes pink/blue is the simplest most basic gender dichotomy #but its not like theres anything actually wrong with the color pink. but when you extend that to things like say shaving and makeup things #that cost women time and money......if you think any critique of that is misogynistic because a lot of women do it/because its things #only women do (almost)...you just have a problem with not just critical thinking but with thinking in general. it's just...very frustrating #and i've thought like this in the past i think it's kind of a step when you're getting into feminism and going hm...this is kind of fucked #up...but i think it's still very superficial and i guess it makes sense that it has a lot of appeal Because it's superficial? #but it's like if you don't think anything needs to change and if you think women who aren't following gender norms as much and who aren't #interested in ''''''reclaiming''''' femininity (bc it's literally just doing what's asked of us 24/7 from birth) are misogynistic for #it...like it's actually crazy you do realize that at the end of the day you're saying you should promote/praise gender roles #and if you disagree you hate women #like at least acknowledge that liking makeup and shaving your legs isn't just about personal taste and liking how smooth legs feel when #in your bed it drives me crazy when people refuse to acknowledge that i remember in high school i told my sister like if you were on a #deserted island would you like heels and she was like yes i would :) and i was like NO we had this conversation for years then she had #sociology classes in high school and she was like okay i see what you mean...like yeah of course you do because i'm right #of course people who think like that are like its about respecting everyone's choices!!!! but they're also very much saying stereotypically #feminine things is the best choice and i think it's so insidious to be expected to get over your distaste (like that's literally just. #what's expected of girls/women in general. not liking things when you're a kid is frowned upon but you're expected to grow out of it and if #you dont then it becomes a real issue) and not being allowed to CRITIQUE IT from a feminist lens is literally crazy like it makes me unwell #they're like um only women wear dresses/skirts why are you implying that pants are more practical and advocating for women to be able to #wear pants do you perhaps hate women especially women who are brave enough to embrace their inner traditional femininity?

[aldieb]

more he who drowned the world: i said that the first book felt like it was written specifically because of how much the author liked the side plot with the prince and his eunuch guard. now i feel like actually, the whole duology was written specifically so that the protag could be turned into an explicitly trans character in this second book. like, imo in the first one we were in “woman disguising herself as a man to get an advantage, which definitely has trans undertones” territory, but now the way zhu thinks of her body and past are unmistakably transmasc. i love this shift because of how much this book is digging into the dark and gritty areas of embodiment and gender with all its characters. but i’m also curious what was holding it back before

#text tag #also tho wondering when the consequences from the prev book will hit? i finished it and was like ‘damn this is immediately going to ruin #everything next book’ and then it hasn’t despite my being 2/5 of the way through #the ‘two characters bound together by fate and also they hate each other’ is SO JUICY. the way their genders interact… mwah #me being a bitch and vaguing but i genuinely wonder how [username redacted] would feel abt these books given they dig deep into lgbt #experience in a way that feels much less sanitized than the sff norm despite being [gasp] fiction that’s about people trying to control #a monarchy

[seoafin]

me on maskgirl episode 1: this is the most unhinged kdrama I've ever watched

me on maskgirl episode 4: this is a tragedy I am absolutely devastated the lesbians did not get an ending they deserved

#hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm #at first I liked the mother but then I was like wow this woman embodies everything I hate about korean patriarchal values #why are you excusing and justifying your perverted disgusting rapist son #he got what he deserved and I hope you get what you deserve #and why is the narrative not giving enough sympathy to the victims of societal beauty norms #and systematic gender abuse #like I did not watch these two lesbians kill the one girl's abusive ex boyfriend only for..... #for them to STILL fall victim to violent patriarchal gender norms #my god lesbians just don't catch a break #over and over there women are abused for being deemed ugly and unwanted and undesirable by society #and even when they give into societal pressure to change their faces they are STILL abused #which is obviously the point #really leaning into the commodification of beauty which says a lot abt korean society but also why Is She Getting Punished #mt

[brokoala-soup]

my healing arc will be the story of me mending my relationship with the colour pink

#i used to love pink as a kid #i dont remember the reasons #as to whether because it was society imposed #or just a personal preference #but then overtime when i realised how mainstream pink was #and how overly feminine and girly it was/is #it lost its appeal in my eyes #pink went from being just a colour to the flag bearer of feminity #and as a masc who is too fem passing it felt hurtful to my energy to associate myself with anything pink #i ended up hating pink to judging everyone for loving it and for it's extremely gender imposed overuse #but now when i realise that irrespective of its social or cultural background #pink as a colour has always made me look aliver and brighter and me-er #despite it being only so because of the colour chemistry it has with my physical figure and NOT because pink is my colour or vibe #I've learnt to grow on it and accept it #and that i don't have to conform to gender norms to like a colour for what it is #it provides a fresher perspective looking at things as an artist who understands colours and their significance #now i accept and love whatever pink that works for me as i do with my feminine energy and counterparts #in the end pink is just a colour #bisexual #masc lesbian #pink aesthetic #pinkcore #pink moodboard #pink #pink blog #coquette aesthetic #coquette angel #coquette

[niishi]

I don't understand why there's such a pressure on representing your gender identity outwardly when it's literally so fucking dangerous. If you're brave enough good for you. If you have enough mental strength, good for you. But y'all need to stop taking that and using it as an example of how trans ppl should present themselves and then making them feel less than and invalid when they don't do it your way. It takes a lot of strength and a lot of bravery and a lot of mental strength, to be able to do that. Like an astronomical amount. Expecting everyone to have that ability is weird. And I know, logically, people don't expect that. When you actually sit down and have a nuanced conversation, everyone understands this.. but the way trans ppl who don't pass or don't outwardly represent a binary gender on their bodies, get invalidated and treated like they're not good enough bc they're not as brave as you,is ridiculous. It needs to stop.

#people are superficial and self absorbed #yes trans ppl too #and when a trans person like that transitions or outwardly expresses themselves and even moreso when they “pass” #they DO (not always) make it a point to invalidate you or leave you out of the conversation #if youre not able to express yourself as well as they are #ppl put others down in order to make themselves feel valid #thats gotta stop #ive been irl friends with 4 trans guys #all who outwardly transitioned and are expressive and open about it #all 4 of those trans guys have excluded me from my identity #misgendered me relentlessly #i keep having to reiterate that im a man bc ppl see long hair and and “fem” clothing #and imply that im not a man bc of it #yall are obsessed with cis normativity #youre obsessed with the gender binary #youre obsessed with pink meaning girl and blue meaning boy #you have not done the work to unlearn that ignorance at all #stop making ppl suffer bc youre insecure and ignorant #anyways its easier for me to look the way ive always looked and to be hidden. im used to living that life. i can cope with this saddness and #distress ive had since i was 4.im used to it... i cannot cope with more pain and distress added on by making myself an open target for hate #trans ppl arent martyrs and we should stop forcing ppl who arent comfortable and dont feel safe from the public and themselves #to be martyrs

[faecaeli]

can not STAND the amount of radfem posts that have show up on my dash "based on my likes" because i've liked posts related to feminism. like what in the world. i should be able to like a quote from bell hooks or a post on reproductive rights and not have this wild and hateful terf shit pop up

#just had a post pop up where the OP was saying drag was similar to blackface #so now i have to deal with my anger about that for the rest of my life #all bc this platforms shit algorithm facilitates extremist thinking and radicalization #as if all women and transfolk arent struggling enough irl huh #fucking all these ppl need to go outside and see whats happening in the world to trans people like........ get off the internet and wake up #how do you look at the trans community and go oh yes! the reason for our oppression! #girl you are looking in completely the wrong direction #you have all the reason to be mad when it comes to the horrible endless misogyny in our world #but how is blaming this very small and widely unaccepted community going to help your cause #its the oldest trick in the fuckin book #u cant scapegoat the minority and make your problems go away #thats just a fast track to violence #like if yall are really interested in feminism why aren't you spending more time looking to men in power #vs people who are already struggling to be themselves in a way that DEFIES the gender norms that you claim to hate and rally against sfm?? #gnc people are not threatening your 'womanhood' u just gotta fucking chill #dont u want to build a future BASED on your sex being of less importance? isn't that the whole damn point? #that our differences are acknowledged and celebrated and accommodated #not used against us #like... c'mon #so full of shit #show me the real feminists on this site who actually care about women and building a better future for everyone #and wanna have real convos rooted in compassion for one another

[hhhhghhhh]

idk things have changed over the years but i've found it so isolating to be an increasingly feminine/gnc man(kinda) who wants a romantic relationship with a woman and just like loves girls a lot. like im not fooling myself into thinking im the most feminine person ever, i'm not but like. i'm beyond the realm of okayness with heterosexual norms to be sure. and there's nothing of myself to make up for the fact that i am seen as lacking. im the happiest i've ever been im the most comfortable with my appearance ever but im like so lonely all the time. what teh fuck.

#tldr: i need to find a transgender gf #like literally all my cis girl friends have said to me that like. they don't think that women will really b into me and to turn to men #and i like men* like to be clear i am bisexual it's just that i more often am attracted to women* #*these are loose categories and not the only genders i just hate grouping non-binary as this totally third gender when as a #nonbinary guy myself that's not really how it works #i tend 2 b attracted 2 people who break gender norms appearance-wise most of all regardless of gender identity that's just a lot 2 type out #i've been like firmly t4t for a bit now but it's so hard to find someone. im like 1 of 3 transgenders here #and one of them is someone who is like. way younger than me so obviously not and the other actually now lives in philadelphia and is also #way younger than me #so ig im 1 out of 2

[lord-squiggletits]

I actually really don't like genderbends of Pharma because like. Listen I do get the appeal of genderbends esp since holoforms showed us that Cybertronian dudes can pick human female holoforms if they want. But with Pharma humanformers (and certain other characters) it really bothers me when people make him a girl because like. Pharma is a man/masculine person who's canonically in love with another man/masc person and it really ruins the vibes if he gets humanformered into being a girl. Like it is very important TO ME PERSONALLY that Pharma as a canon gay guy should stay a gay guy if he's made into a humanformer

#squiggposting #discourse #even if you made both pharma and ratchet women just mmmm the vibes arent the same #esp for pharma like. i feel like the way gender norms are #theres something about pharma being a man that makes him feel more uniqie and standout #and also like no offense but i kind of hate it when gay men/gay ships are genderbent #esp in TF where there are a lot of canon wlw ships that get almost no fuckin attention #bc people are too busy taking canon dudes and gays and turning them into women

[psy-ay-ay]

kunou-kun and yukimura are totally dating

#like i actually hate when a guy who's not entirely gender norm confirming ('girlish') and friends with a guy-ish guy are supposed #to be dating because looking through the heteronoramtive lens and all that #but kunou and yukimura should date #kunou unlearning stupid gender norms and misogyny his dad put on him #maid sama #yeah okay i am reading maid sama and it's taking a LOT of effort to continue #but i guess not everything can be fruits basket and i do have to try other shoujos out #believing in other people's tastes here and holding out #6 volumes in though and i LOVE the protagonist and like(-ish) the vibe with the couple #but the rest is forgettable/tolerable at best and just BAD at worst #i also like what i consider the trans rep in aoichan

[mirawhat]

i hate corporate anything with my whole being and cringe at gender jokes so hard, but still unironically love how on 07/03 and 08/03 a lot of women on the street have tulips or mimosas or some other bouquets. flowers!!

#yeah yeah the womans day got turned in a very twisted holiday of ✨spring and beauty and gender norms✨ #and i do hate that #but i still love getting pretty flowers and seeing women of all and every age with flowers #when i become the president we are getting flower holiday and its gonna be better and march8 will be left alone #my new-ish job got very cringy today but at least i got to drink some mulled wine on corpo budget it couldve been worse

[paperbag1999]

god no more taylor swift hot takes no more take downs no more arguing that she's the greatest songwriter to ever exist or is just completely mediocre. there's no artists that cause this much shit on tumblr from a simple album release and it's just so annoyyyyyying guys shut up!

#i understand and agree with some of the criticisms!!! #like this woman is not a gay icon as hard as she tries #and sometimes her writing and metaphors are really simple and get praised as literary genius #but this woman is a genuinely strong songwriter #not every songwriter is trying to do the same thing #they aren't all writing from the same perspectives #or aesthetics or backgrounds or goal and that is FINE. like u guys are really just doing stan wars #when in reality a lot of musicians who do different shit have respect for one another #and the genuine criticisms of white mediocrity just devolve into these weird petty fixations on artists that you don't like #like with harry styles like genuinely we can talk about how gay men of colour are ignored for breaking gender norms #but at some point you realize that so many of the people who keep! bringing! this! up! are not acting in good faith #and just genuinely hated harry styles

[redvelvetwishtree]

Can someone explain what is wrong with the issue JK Rowling is raising in her recent tweets (and I guess this is the same issue she has always raised)? (An explanation that is not simply "let people do whatever" or a demand to just accept all the dramatically new and unconventional ideas woke people expect everyone to instantly agree with) Because whatever she's saying sounds like a valid issue in real, non-internet life... (and I've wasted my morning scrolling through the very toxic tag of her name on here without getting anything meaningful out of it except overbearing people demanding that everyone stops liking harry potter and fantastic beasts and nitpicking over small things to turn the perfectly fine HP books into super problematic pieces of literature)

#like I'm sorry but these ideas gained traction very very recently and of course people will jave questions and reservations #you just demand and force people to agree with whatever you write even though such stuff so new to so many people #when they raise issues and ask questions you demonize them and cancel them and have all your labels ready to attach to them #the only commentary about her tweets i have ever come across is hate and demands for everyone else to also cancel her #never an actual explanation that address her concerns which i have seen many people raise now #like you just want people - and I'm not even talking about people from very traditional and conservative societies - to accept that... #.... that whatever you write about gender/sex/biology/social norms surrounding these (very strict in some places) be accepted instantly #i have ignored her tweets for a good while but now that she's trending again...i went and took a look #not sure how to counter her opinion because...dare i say... it makes sense...and not one reply has been helpful coz it's just hate #and a cancellation or a demand to just accept things the way woke people on the internet define it