#thinking stereotypically feminine things like stereotypically feminine clothes are like bad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

femdomlieeh · 10 months

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Pink Blush (m)

First time Sub!Haechan ✧ Secretly Dom!Reader

WC—1.8 k

THEMES—new relationship ✧ nsfw fluff (?) ✧ borderline smut

WARNING—punishment ✧ teasing (m!g) ✧ masturbation (m) ✧ use of handcuffs & strap on ✧ praise ✧ light degradation ✧ pet names "mommy", "channie", "bad boy"✧ mentions of gender stereotypes (ew), safe words & (future) pegging

NOW PLAYING—Tattoo ✧ Loreen

[A/N.] old xiumin (exo) version

When this post gets 100 votes I’ll publish a stray kids group reaction chapter👍

M.LISTS—nct 127 ✧ dream ✧ latest updates ✧ wp version

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"Come on~! Show me~!" Haechan whined in your ear for the umpteenth time today.

Like all the previous times, you answered no.

Yesterday your boyfriend had found out that you had a mommy kink and liked being dominant in the bed (You had left a wattpad tab open on our shared laptop because you were apparently too tired to click on the cross), and, although that should've been something positive, you didn't want him to know.

On a daily basis, he already got critique for being younger (looking younger) than his partner, and being too 'feminine' and 'cutesy' – so, to want him to submit to you and make him match other people's perception of him was selfish and thus something you refused to do.

The theory of genders having specific power roles was something you'd always been opposed to, as you do not believe a gender determines a level of power. Truthfully, you couldn't care less if your boyfriend wanted to break gender stereotypes or not — damn, he could wear 'girly' clothes and/or put make up on if he wanted to — but you did care about what he thought of himself.

He didn't like it when people commented on how much younger he looked than he was. He didn't like it when people described him as feminine instead of masculine. He didn't like it when people [excluding you and some of his friends] called him cute. He didn't think that having any of those characteristics was wrong; he just didn't want people to call him those things.

"Please?" He attempted to lure you in with his gleaming puppy eyes – which usually worked – but that method didn't work this time around, because the great amount of vexation he had brought to you today had made you fully resistant to his cuteness.

"No, I don't want to hurt you," you answered with a blank face, trying your best to find a seemingly interesting movie on Netflix, that you hadn't already seen, so your boyfriend could give up his dumb quest. It was a little confusing why he wanted to try these types of thing with you, knowing how he felt about being belittled by others.

"I thought you said that we should always be honest with each other and always be ourselves," he argued, making a valid point since you had said those words from the start of your relationship.

"But I also said I never wanted us to hurt each other," you retorted in defense, feeling more and more irritated by the second.

Leaning and sinking down a little bit on the sofa, Haechan wanted to be more comfortable as he knew this conversation would be long. Chewing on the strings of his pink hoodie, he looked at and studied you; frown, annoyed sighs, hard grip on the remote, darker lips from biting on them – everything pointed at you being mad, and thus rather sensitive.

Then a bulb lit above his head.

"But what if I like it when you hurt me?"

You turned your head to his side. There it was. Exactly what he wanted to see. An expression on your face that told him that if he continued this route, he would get fucked. Whether it was literally or metaphorically, he wanted to find out.

"I'm leaving," you announced and stood up as quickly as the short sentence ended. You had to leave, because Haechan was pushing your buttons and you knew that if you stayed for longer you could end up doing what you had been trying to avoid since he had found out about the femdom part of you.

His face changed from calm puppy to clingy puppy with separation anxiety, scared of its owner leaving. This was not the reaction he had tried to get from you. He stood up and followed your fast steps to the bedroom. As soon as he saw you throw one of your biggest bags onto the floor, followed up by some clothing pieces, he felt his blood freeze. Were you leaving as in leaving the relationship?

"Why are you packing?" he asked, scared of your answer.

"I'm going to Irene's. I can't stay with you when you're making me crazy like this." What you said was true; you were sure he'd crack your patience and make you go full sadist on him if you stayed in the same room as him for another minute – or even worse: another hour or whole night.

He felt relieved that you weren't breaking up with him over a silly argument, but he still didn't want you to stay over at your friend's when you both knew that it would be smarter to solve the tension instead.

"Stay with me," he pleaded lowly, sensing he didn't have many other options than pleading and hoping it'd be persuasive enough for you to stay with him.

"We need a night without each to calm down and have an adult discussion, alright?" you tried to explain, grabbing your now-fully-packed bag, and heading to the door to continue your journey to your awesome best friend.

When Haechan didn't talk back, you turned away from the doorway and to the bed to see why he was being quiet and not protesting some more like he usually would. He was looking you in the eyes as he pulled the hoodie off his torso and threw it your way. You caught it in your hand. Proceeding, he pulled down his pants, making sure he did it slowly enough to send you signals that he wasn't planning on putting on his PJs.

As he stood in only his boxers in front of you, a new bulb lit up above his head – and this one was even brighter than the last one – maybe he did have more options than to plead and strip.

With a smirk he sat down on the foot of the bed, maintaining eye contact, and pulled down his boxers to reveal his hard cock. You were speechless when he had stripped down to almost full nudity, but what shocked you the most was that just speaking to him disrespectfully had turned him on.

The moment he started touching his cock and moaning like a bitch, you realized that he had purposely been naughty so you could punish him. He had whined in you ear all day, stripped and masturbated when you wanted to leave because he wanted this; he wanted to be punished.

So, you decided to do it.

You dropped the bag and went to your wardrobe, taking out a box you'd kept secret from Haechan. He looked your way curiously, analyzing your reaction while still stroking his cock rudely. Damn, he hoped you were doing something femdom related.

"Safeword?" you asked, examining the nostalgic box of memory-making apparatuses, trying to decide which ones you wanted to use to make memories tonight.

"Sun," he answered, smiling at the victory; he was going to get fucked literally.

"I hope you understand that I'm going to have to punish you for being such a naughty boy."

"Yes, Mommy," he said oh so naturally.

You looked back at him after he said the last word, watching him lay down on the bed, boxers in a random corner of the room. He seemed experienced or like he'd had a fantasy about calling you that word for a while, no stutter, and thankfully that made it easier for you decide on which toys to use on him.

"Naughty boys don't deserve to touch Mommy," you turned to him with a pair of pink, fluffy handcuffs. He blushed a little, not expecting the object you chose to punish him with to be so adorable. Did he seriously think that was all you were going to use as punishment when he'd riled you up like this?

How cute.

Walking slowly to him, you threw the cuffs onto the bed beside his legs and startled him a bit at the suddenness of the action. He had teased you, and you wanted to make sure he'd feel teased as well – and what better way to do that than to use one of his biggest weaknesses against him? Smirking, you pulled off your shirt, leaving your upper body in only a bra – a pink one. He had always liked that color – though he denied it since it wasn't manly to like pink.

You climbed on top of his body and took the cuffs in your hands again, getting ready to restrain him. He was breathing heavily, getting aroused by your body above his, and especially by your boobs that were clad in such a lovely color. Although he liked the bra, he would've loved to see your boobs without anything covering them.

"Hold your arms up for me, Channie," you ordered, to which he listened to instantly. He held them up against the bed frame, assuming you were going to cuff him to it. But he was wrong. You didn't want him to predict his punishment; you wanted everything to be a surprise that not even his fantasy could come close to.

Instead of cuffing his wrists to the frame of the bed, you cuffed them to nothing. Yes, nothing. It may sound boring to restrain your partner to nothing, but it was the opposite; restraining him to air meant that he still could choose to disobey you further by bringing his arms down. "You're going to keep your arms here, and if you at any point put them down and touch me it'll add to your punishment, understood?"

"Yes, Mommy."

"Oh, don't act like a good boy all of a sudden. You're getting punished for a reason, Haechannie," you scoffed lightly, feeling soft from the sweetness that seemed to ooze naturally whether he tried to or not.

"But I am a good boy," he pouted, adding to the cuteness you adored so much.

"Only if you can manage this punishment, but until then you're a bad boy," you explained and turned back to the box to grab the last part of the punishment. He continued pouting, until he saw the object you took out: a strap on. After removing your pants, you put the fake dick on and adjusted it to your hips.

The strap wasn't bigger than the average dick as you didn't know how used he was to having dildos shoved up his ass – and even though you wanted to hurt him, you were still cautious over how harsh you were with him. He was your squishy Haechannie after all.

"You ready, Channie?" you asked as you crawled back to him, searching his face for any uncertainty. His big eyes and toothy smile hinted at him anticipating what you were about to do, but you still wanted a verbal answer as you wanted to make sure he was OK with being pegged.

He nodded quickly, "Yes, Mommy, I'm always ready for you."

✧ ੈ ✧ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✧‧₊˚＊* ੈ ✧ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✧‧₊˚＊* ✧ ੈ ✧

❝ Violins playin' and the angels cryin'

When the stars align, then I'll be there

No, I don't care about them all

'Cause all I want is to be loved

And all I care about is you

You're stuck on me like a tattoo

No, I don't care about the pain

I'll walk through fire and through rain

Just to get closer to you

You're stuck on me like a tattoo ❞

—lorine zineb noka talhaoui; 2023

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thehmn · 1 year

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They showed one of my favorite “bad movies that I know are bad but enjoy anyway” a few nights ago, Ronal The Barbarian.

I thought it would be funny to draw a serious looking poster because I’ve learned over the years that if you just describe the characters, plot and overarching theme it sounds like a really cool, serious fantasy story that was crammed through an immature jokes machine.

The overarching theme is “gender roles are bullshit”. Ronal’s whole thing is rejecting stereotypical masculinity.

Zandra is a take on society expecting women to be strong, independent bossassbitches but also expecting them to be subservient to their husbands and how many women internalize that.

Aliban thinks he’s a loser if he doesn’t get laid and even believes men can’t be sexually assaulted by women because men always want sex…until he’s assaulted himself.

The very effeminate gay elf Elric is strongly implied to be a top, while the very masculine general is the most overtly sexualized character and clearly in a kinky Dom/sub arrangement with his master Lord Volcazar while also acting as a Dom to the orc army.

Inside the elf library male elves are protected by an army of female warrior fairies.

The hyper masculine Barbarians and hyper feminine Amazonians are held up as ridiculous gender extremes.

The movie is also chock full of “show don’t tell” lore. For example, how many people noticed the evil priest is an elf? His pointy ears rotted away along with his nose and cheeks but he’s wearing elf clothes.

But anyway, I already made a post (LINK) about how the English dub throws all that out the window by making the characters sexist, homophobic and just generally mean for no reason.

#Ronal the Barbarian #gender #gender roles

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punkeropercyjackson · 2 months

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Related to my prev post:

I don't give two shits if Bruce is written like a bad dad if it means we get good writing for everybody else since i think minorities are more important than a white cishet male nepotism baby unlike his butch lesbian counterpart who's judaism is an actual fundamental part of her character and since he's been written as abusive so consistently over the years it's in-character anyway

Dick can be both bi/pan and demisexual and there's more evidence for the latter than the former so making him be sexually loose is aspec erasure and mspec stereotyping and he dosen't have a thing for redheads,he has a thing for black women and to me the only guy he seems to like romantically is Roy and that adds on to his demisexuality since they're childhood best friends

'Catholic guilt Jason' is a shit headcanon that misses the major and critical part of him being Red Hood that he didn't feel the slightest bit bad about killing people and the point of his redemption was learning remorse,afrolatino Jason isn't based on stereotyping but him filling out so many black and latino cultural aspects and if any hcs for him are stereotyping it's the one that he's a slut because he's a very handsome and hot and cute goth punk man

Tim is perfect the way he is and dosen't need power ups or to get 'punished' for the oh so horrible crime of being a realistic teenage boy,he's not JUST huge a loser or a super cool dude but both at once and it's bad writing and fetishistic to ignore his wide range of relathionships that consists of mostly of women to make him a 'guys guy'

Stephanie is heavily autistic and bpd-coded so she's far from a 'normie',much less an 'it girl' but people see blonde hair and blue eyes and throw away everything else about her because that's all she's worth to them or call her an abuser and a pick me just like they do irl bpdtistic women and she's also canonically pastel/indie punk and a Team Mom but gets her presentation switched to basic and made out to be a womanchild instead

Cass had a million times more moral conflict than Jason ever did,would never in her LIFE wanna be feminine even in the chinese way and would be butch in it instead,turning her scattered speech into sign language is ableist not unlike(but not on the same level as)changing Babs' type of wheelchair disability and she'd be a better Batman than any male character in existense

Duke is only a golden child in the sense he has a yellow motif and is as disruptive and authentically quirky as his siblings,We Are Robin is a better team than the canon Outlaws,his powers are cooler than any Al-Ghul ones you could come up with,he has more femme energy than Tim does and Carrie Kelley ain't shit and only gets brought back to replace him because DC is antiblack

Damian's introduction mentality was a result of not only child abuse but also psychological grooming to get him to dehumanize himself and all his bigoted comments are explained either by him being like 12 or his writers trying to demonize brown people and anybody who thinks he's a bad person is a super-sized pissbaby with no sympathy for kids of color,shipping him with Jon is making a bisexual man into a ped0phile and Jay is good even if aging Jon up wasn't and he should be friends with Maya,Suren,Nell,Colin,Kathy,Maps,Tai and Miles,Gwen,Peni,Pavitr,Hobie and Margo from Atsv and Nico and Hazel from Pjo instead of Billy Batson or Danny Fenton or ANY Mcu characters

Talia is super hot but should be drawn in accurate arab clothes instead 'sexy assasian gear'(not that these two can't co-exist but you get what i mean),her personality is extremely rich and her stories are mega interesting,she's a good mom to Damian and literally never 'took advantage of Jason' seeing as That Scene In Lost Days was decanonized by it's writer who said it was ooc for her on his part,she should've been a mom figure to Stephanie in her Robin Days too since they would get along and she deserved her own run where she takes over Lexcorp to transform it into a force for good and become Superfam-adjacent to free herself from having only male connections

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studentinpursuitofclouds · 2 months

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hi! could you write the bachelor/ettes with a m!farmer that dresses very fem? like— with all the stuff that's stereotypically related to girls?

Heya 👋 Sure, why not.

I honestly didn't know what format to choose. At first it was going to be big stories, but I thought it would be too long to read lol. Thanks for the ask btw! 💕

SDV bachelors/ettes with male!Farmer that dresses very fem:

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Abigail was filled with envy because Farmer is a man who could wear whatever he wanted and not be told by his parents that he "had to dress properly". Amethyst lover still has to listen from mom that "a lady should wear a skirt" or from dad "a lady should this and that". Ugh... Oh, and Farmer looks gorgeous! Damn, Abby's jealous >:/

"You're such a weirdo, what's with the girly clothes?" Alex should have learnt not to say the first thing that comes to mind out loud, but we all have our flaws. Athlete has nothing bad to say towards the Farmer himself, but clearly doesn't understand his taste in clothing. Neither does he understand why Sebastian is always walking around in black clothes. Farmer looks... alright, Alex think. But he just doesn't get it.

Oh, how happy Emily is to have another person in town who loves to express himself through clothes! Everything is harmoniously matched, the fabric is of the best quality.... And most importantly, the Farmer feels comfortable! The blue-haired girl doesn't care that it's "not for a man". Emily can make clothes for Farmer according to his style, if he doesn't mind of course!

In the past, Abby had been teased for dressing like a boy, and Sebby had been insulted for having long, "girlish" fringes.... More than once Sam has threatened to hit the offenders with his guitar if they keep it up. So if Farmer gets harassed too, he shouldn't hesitate to ask Sam for help. Farmer looks cool, by the way!

To be honest, Farmer's fem style of dressing for Penny is rather extravagant. The young teacher is modest by nature and with old-fashioned ideas about how men and women should dress. On the other hand, she admires Farmer's courage to express himself and not afraid to be judged.

There were at least three times in Sebastian's life when some tourists picked on his "fem look", namely his tight jeans and black-painted nails. The local emo even then knew that judging people by their appearance is a complete nonsense, so he would not react to Farmer's atypical clothes in the bad way. And Farmer look cool, though Sebby is not a fan of his style, preferring everything black.

Yoba, is this the latest collection from the same famous designer that Haley always orders clothes from?! She recognises these clothes anywhere. Haley thought the new farmer always wore dirty overalls. And these clothes look so stylish on him! What? Who frickin cares if the clothes are feminine, the Farmer looks great! Slay! 💅

Shane was about to open his mouth and comment on Farmer's, as he think, ridiculous outfit. But then he remembered that it wasn't his place to judge people by their clothes, considering that his everyday clothes were a torn blue jumper with Joja's logo on it, pizza-stained shorts, and ragged crocs. After Emily's clothing therapy, Shane will have a little change of heart. But in general, he doesn't give a shit what Farmer wears, even if it's a trash bag.

"Hey, you look great." Believe me, Farmer, Leah's words are genuine. This woman is always used to being honest with people, and she will honestly praise her friend's appearance. Because a lot of people express themselves in different ways. Leah chose to express herself through creativity, while Farmer chose to express himself through clothes, and that's totally cool.

Harvey marvelled at the fact that Farmer walks around in these clothes and is completely unafraid of criticism..... No, no, don't get him wrong, Farmer looks good! It's just... In a way, Harvey is jealous, because he has to sneak around to aerobics in fear that some of the other bachelors will see him and make fun of him. But you know, just seeing Farmer has inspired the doctor to be braver.

Although in Maru's situation it was not about clothes, she too had to deal with this type of conflicts. Her grandparents told her mom, Robin, that her job as a carpenter was "not for women", while her father's relatives condemned Maru's passion for inventions as "not for young lady". How nice that Maru's parents were supportive and that Farmer has also defied criticism and is doing what makes him happy. Don't listen to anyone and do what your heart desire!

Quite extravagant, but Elliott even likes his style. Farmer definitely has the taste to pick colours and accessories harmoniously. What? Judging? Pfft! Dear friend, when Elliott lived in town before moving to Stardew Valley, the people there also tried to ridicule his clothing choices, calling him a dandy and, pardon his language, a "pompous peacock." Ugh, some people just have no taste! But at least Elliott has excellent clothing taste. And Farmer has it as well!

#stardew valley #sdv #sdv headcanons #sdv abigail #sdv penny #sdv emily #sdv haley #sdv leah #sdv maru #sdv shane #sdv alex #sdv sebastian #sdv sam #sdv harvey #sdv elliott #thanks for the ask!

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 months

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wibta for telling a friend some things another friend of his said to me

🧠🐀 so i can find this later

i (17m) don’t have many irl friends (mainly bc. autism.) but there is one person, ‘alex’ (15m) i currently consider my best friend irl. he has another friend, ‘jay’ (16m) who i used to consider myself friends with. important context: we’re all trans.

jay has said a few things to me that made me end the friendship with him.

first, i’m gay. a while ago (before i realized i was a guy) i used to think i was lesbian. i mentioned this in passing to him once bc i thought it was kinda funny, and he made a weird comment about how ‘some people just don’t want to be straight’ that came off like he thought i was pretending to be gay? (tbc i very much Am gay, i literally have a boyfriend)

second, mcr is my and alex’s favorite band. every time i bring them up in conversation (which i do a Lot bc. again. autism) he makes ‘jokes’ about it being stereotypical trans music and me being a stereotype

third, i dye my hair bright colors fairly often. he’s made multiple jokes about me having ‘stereotypical trans hair’ and when i had a mullet a while back (which fucked severely btw like i looked Good with a mullet) he made a couple jokes about ‘ugly trans haircuts’

fourth, he has really bad dysphoria which isn’t an issue in and of itself, but if other trans people don’t have his level of dysphoria he often dismisses like. any dysphoria they have at all. he’s also said things about me ‘not trying to pass’ in the past as like. a way to imply my dysphoria doesn’t affect me? (i do genuinely try i’m just short and really feminine looking so i can’t pass even with a binder and masc clothes and shit)

all this made me uncomfortable and i distanced myself from him, which i don’t feel guilty about. but he’s closer to alex than he is to me, and i don’t know whether i would be justified in bringing these things up to alex. i don’t want to create drama or anything yk? so wibta?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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headspace-hotel · 1 year

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hi, so i do have a question regarding trans people- i completely support trans people and people should have the right to do whatever they want to as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, and i would never side with those who try to take away someone's autonomy. that being said, why do people want to be the specific genders(men, women)- what exactly does one feel? is it identifying with gender stereotypes? wanting the other kind of body? i can understand why someone would want to be enby, but can't seem to understand specific reasons why people would want to be transmasc or transfem etc. i've read posts before where people have wanted to be women/men because of gender stereotypes- they wanted to play with dolls/liked feminine/masculine colors/clothes etc. but it's obviously something that shouldn't be stereotyped against and anyone should be allowed to play/like anything they want to, whether it's feminine or masculine. so what exactly is it that makes people want to be either? again, though even if i didn't understand why someone else felt that way, i fully support them.

I'm not even transgender in any flavor so I'm not the best person to ask, but I'm pretty sure the answer is going to be individual for every person.

I think like, the larger society has latched onto the narrative of "I always wanted to play with 'girl' toys and do 'girly' things" because that's what makes sense to a cisgender audience in a culture where behavior and clothing and toys are very obviously gendered.

But that's not, like, what "makes" someone transgender—it's a way of explaining it.

I mean, okay, maybe I can talk about this a little. I'm a cis woman. I've thought about it! I like being female, it feels comfortable to me, and experimentally imagining anything else feels...bad.

This has nothing to do with gender stereotypes—I don't shave, I don't wear makeup, I usually cut my hair super-short, I'll wear my brothers' clothes if I like them, I always actively hated the "girl" toys as a kid (though I was never labeled a 'tomboy'—I feel like autism overpowered any specific gendered label that would otherwise apply to me, for complicated reasons. I was a Weird kid). It's just...I don't know. It's nice when one of my friends in chat in a game i'm playing calls me "she"—like hell yeah! Your mental concept of me is a girl :D

If anything, I started to feel more "woman" when I started dressing and styling more masculine—it was actually seeing pictures of butch lesbians online that made me see an image of myself I liked for the first time. I wanted to be a woman who's like a guy at the auto parts store.

I think some people just have no internal sense at all about their gender, and some of these people probably ID as non-binary, and some of these people probably just identify with whatever they were assigned because that's what's convenient. There are no wrong answers here, right?

And some people have a really strong unwavering internal sense about it, and it's not exactly able to be distilled down to feelings about your body or clothes or interests or whatever, but it exists. I know that I "feel" like a woman even though I couldn't say why. It's somewhere in between "this feels accurate" and "this feels nice."

#random #gender

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 6 months

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Published: Oct 24, 2023

I was around 10 the first time my mother asked if I thought I was a boy.

There was a period from the 1970s-1990s where the concept “tomboys”, although perhaps originally intended as a derogatory term, provided a space for pre-pubescent girls to act, play and dress in ways that were not stereotypically coded feminine; in other words, some of the freedoms boys were granted. My mother clearly felt that raising a daughter and a son should be drastically different experiences. This was not largely the case, as I wanted to be just like my older brother.

Growing up, my parents had strict ideas around the roles of men and women in society. Men were “head of the household” and had the final say on decisions, as well as being the primary disciplinarian; women’s primary roles were as caregivers. My parents were religious, raising me in a religion where homosexuality was taught to be immoral and unnatural.

In some ways, I fulfilled many stereotypes of feminine attributes: being gentle, soft-spoken, and nurturing towards others. I enjoyed playing with dolls and soft toys; however I also had a keen interest in cars and transformers. As a painfully shy child, I preferred the company of fictional characters in books more than people; this level of social awkwardness alone cast me as “odd”.

However, what had been convenient and financially fiscal - hand-me-down clothing from my brother - had become my clothing of choice. I only wanted to wear “boys’ clothing”, much of which came in my favourite colour (blue) versus the bright warm colours of “girls’ clothing”. Having worn both, I had realised that boys’ clothing was looser fitting, had more flexibility of motion, and was more comfortable. I disliked glitter, sequins, lace and frills, none of which was found on boys’ clothing. As a very shy child who refused to wear the clothing supposedly designated for my sex, this often invoked commentary and disapproval from adults around my appearance and my body. Boys’ clothing, with its longer sleeves and longer torso, covered up more of my body; a body I was painfully aware that others were observing and judging, sometimes openly.

My mother had told me how excited she was when she learned she was going to have a daughter to “do girly things with”, fantasising of frilly dresses and ballet rehearsals. Instead, she had me. Although my parents allowed me to play with the same toys as my brother, pursue the same sport as my brother, and (eventually) choose my own clothing, my mother’s question showed that she still didn’t understand: “Do you think you’re a boy?” My mother, likely feeling that she had been short-changed around the perks promised with raising a girl, could not understand how her daughter, who declined most things coded feminine, could indeed be a girl who was comfortable with this fact. 10 year old me didn’t understand just how loaded the question was, but did find it strange and hurtful, replying, “No, I’m a girl” in a confused tone.

Thankfully, as the concept of “tomboy” was popular while I was growing up, this meant there was a known word that described the type of girl I was; one that allowed me to know that, no matter what I liked or did, I was still a girl.

There was another word that described the type of girl I was. I was around 8 the first time I heard the word “gay”. A boy slightly older than me had spit the word out, yelling at another child “I’m not gay!” This caught my interest. Although the word itself was unknown, the meaning had been clear with the derision and emphasis the boy had placed on the word, his face consorting in disgust as the word left his mouth. It must be something really bad was the clear impression.

I had the opportunity to quench my curiosity that same week. In line with other tasks that could be deemed naughty, looking up bad words in the dictionary required careful timing to when family members were distracted elsewhere. I timed my moment carefully and looked up “gay”, which naturally led to my learning the term “homosexual” - oh. Reading the definition, it was almost like a warm recognition spread across my chest, embracing me. I hadn’t known that homosexuals existed, but I was pretty sure I was one. After this, I would sometimes sneak out the dictionary just to read these words again; although just ink on paper, it was proof that other people like me existed.

I would later use this word - gay - against myself, turning it from something comforting and wonderful, to the same kind of contempt that shrouded the word whenever I heard others use it in real life. Laying in bed at age 11, I had prayed to not be gay, promising myself that I would never tell anyone about these feelings and grow up to marry a man. Although it had been fine when my feelings towards certain girls had just been an intense desire to be their friend and be near them, these feelings had become much harder to ignore now they had turned into more concrete thoughts, such as how beautiful a certain girl was, how shiny and luscious was her hair, and daydreaming around our hands accidentally touching. It was much harder to deny the very clear signs of a crush, particularly when all my female friends had crushes on boys. In order to fit in, I focused my energies on talking about how “cute” one of the boys in the class was - I had never interacted with him, however he had soft features and long eyelashes, and seemed gentle in nature. I would then go home and dream about my female friend and her lovely, long dark hair.

Coming into puberty, I had also started learning more about my religion’s views on homosexuality, specifically that it was immoral and unacceptable. This led to a lot of emotional hurt and confusion for me. At this point, homosexuals may as well have been mythical creatures, discussed by others, but never appearing as an identifiable person in real life.

* * *

Several years older, 15 year old me was struggling. Since puberty, I had been trying to push away any inkling of desire I had towards other girls.; it hadn’t worked. Now with slightly more understanding around the world and how I fitted into it, I had started the process of accepting that these feelings weren’t going anywhere and were, perhaps, just a normal part of me. I had also started considering that if I had been created with intent, as my religion taught, then no mistakes were possible, and my attraction towards girls, which had always been there in some form, was as natural and as similar as anyone else’s. Although it had improved, my social awkwardness still made me frequently feel like an outsider, with my secret and furtive crushes on other girls further making me feel different in a way I couldn’t discuss with anyone. This feeling would decrease when I eventually met other lesbians, however this wouldn’t happen for several years.

I had started to shop in the women’s department, and outgrown my obsession with cars, instead falling into an obsession with music; something familiar to many teenagers. Still, I preferred comfortable clothing that would be classed as “gender neutral”: jeans, baggy t-shirts, converse shoes. I wore my mid-length hair messy, fantasising about the short hairstyles lesbian duo Tegan and Sara sported. I spent a lot of time listening to music with female musicians who played guitar, preferring artists who openly sung about and desired other women, or those who sang with ambiguity in their love songs, allowing me to place my own meaning on them. My penchant for female musicians had not escaped the notice of my friends, who gently teased me about it, although they didn’t seem to understand the cause for this fixation.

Again, now a teenager, the same question from my mother, phrased slightly differently this time: “do you feel like you’re a man?” I remember telling my friend about this at a sleepover the same night - her response was silence. She didn’t know what to say.

* * *

Several years passed. I was now an out lesbian with a rainbow flag proudly adorning the wall of my share-house bedroom. This included being out to my parents, who had taken the news reasonably well and had been supportive. Having a friendly gay male couple move into their neighbourhood in my late teenage years had significantly increased their understanding and acceptance of homosexual relationships - and had allowed me to finally meet others “like me”. I had fulfilled my fantasy of cutting off the majority of my hair, with the longest section being a fringe that flopped into my eyes. I had also gone back to shopping in the men’s wear section, though my wide hips and narrow shoulders made finding men’s clothing that fit me well difficult. I had finally had my first kiss, although not yet a girlfriend, though most of my time was spent dreaming about this.

My parents had reassured me that they loved and accepted me when I told them I was a lesbian. They had continued to reaffirm this in the following months, however despite this acceptance, my mother showed that she still doesn’t understand, asking me the same question again, some months after I came out: “do you want to be a man?” It was as if every five years, the thought occurred to her again that I must have gender identity disorder because of the way I looked and acted.

I’m in my late 20s now. I have been an out lesbian for a decade, and have had several girlfriends, although my current relationship is by far the longest. My parents adore my girlfriend, buying her birthday presents, and always letting me know how much they approve. My mother comments on how nice my girlfriend’s dresses are and how much she likes her long hair, telling me, “you would look so nice in that”. I feel fatigued with a lifetime of trying to convince her I am genuinely comfortable like this, and tired of defending my short hair, which is my favourite part of my appearance. My girlfriend gets angry on my behalf whenever my mother makes these comments, defending me and saying she thinks I look beautiful as I am.

I am thankful that I never came across the often repeated and homophobic rhetoric that only boys like girls, and therefore lesbians are actually just straight males on the inside. My conviction of my own self, that I am a girl who likes girls, has protected me in this way, but may not have had I had been born a decade later, where it seems many young girls similar to myself are being taken to gender clinics. Or that my mother’s conviction that I am secretly a transman - which has been a reoccurring theme across my life so far - could have caused consultation with a medical professional to convince me of this very fact; something that, as a child who felt different and never seemed to fit, I am sure I would have trusted the adult expert’s views on.

Somehow - bewilderingly - now almost 30, my mother again asks me if I feel like I’m a man and if I’m actually trans. I explain as patiently as I can that no, I’m a lesbian woman and it’s hurtful to me that she seems to refuse to truly accept this, questioning whether I can be a woman because I don’t match her view of what a woman looks like.

She listens to my words and apologises, saying she thinks she understands now. I can’t help but wonder if we’ll be having this same conversation in another five years.

It's weird that they would prefer that their god made a "mistake" and put her in "the wrong body," than that their god doesn't make mistakes, and that she's who he wants her to be.

It's a bad sign when a far-left ideology and a conservative religious view coincide.

#LGB Alliance #lesbian #same sex attraction #trans the gay away #trans away the gay #save the tomboys #gay conversion therapy #conversion therapy #gender ideology #queer theory #genderwang #religion #born in the wrong body #in the wrong body #religion is a mental illness

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wonderbutch · 2 years

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Cassie Sandsmark’s Relationship With Femininity

ok so i want to dive more into cassie sandsmarks character and her relationships.

throughout her comic appearances, gender, femininity, sexuality and lack thereof is very prominent in cassie sandsmarks character. Its shown as soon as she appears. shes 14, short haired and wears baggy clothes and overall gives off the stereotypical tomboy vibe which continues on and off throughout her young justice appearances, but she also battles deeply with what she really wants.

she also clearly shows multiple times that she wants, or thinks she wants boys, specifically superboy (kon-el) to like her, going as far as to join young justice to see him (although i have more thoughts on this which ill get to later)

she also shows jealousy towards cissie because of kons attention to her.

HOWEVER i have reason to believe that this is born of compulsive heterosexuality and a misguided attempt at displaying her need for attention and validation (often from guys because, again, comphet).

for example, here it mentions that cassie cant stop thinking about cissie “doing something romantic” with superboy.

which, i may be reaching here, but if she was truly romantically interested in kon, wouldn’t she mention him first rather than cissie? also, she mentions shes not thrilled that boys are looking at her, even though she thought thats what she used to want.

later on she becomes best friends with cissie, almost instantly after seeing her stick up for others, going as far as to literally fall asleep holding her hand. you cant tell me thats not at least a little gay.

as shown before multiple times, cassie strives for companionship and attention, its not a bad thing, in fact it further shows that cassie is kindhearted and loves those around her deeply, even if they don’t necessarily feel the same or treat her well (for example, the boys are constantly underestimating her in the early issues, especially kon who goes as far to be outwardly shocked when she takes a risk and turns out to be right)

(this isnt hate against kon, theyre all learning and figuring stuff out)

but after cissie leaves the team, which cassie doesn’t take very well, her “attraction” to kon seems to fade away, she also seems to be slightly more aware of the fact that kon doesn’t exactly take her completely seriously.

after young justice: sins of youth, cassie sheds the wig and the shorts and swaps to jeans and a leather jacket which is more “masculine”. she also refers to her old outfit, which could be seen as symbolic of her comphet, as her “what was i thinking phase”

despite seeming more sure of herself, shes still battling with who she is and how she wants to be, she gets angrier and moodier, which is touched on in issue 22

she doesn’t know what she wants, and it scares her. shes 14-15 and a superhero and people have expectations for her, she has expectations for herself too, which she often projects onto other people (which ill mention later when i get to her in teen titans) shes only sure of a few things: she wants to be a hero, she wants her best friend back, she wants to be taken seriously. between those three things though? she has no idea.

around her, everything is breaking down. cissie is struggling with her mother and cassie (for the most part) had a healthy upbringing and doesn’t know how to relate and help cissie with that. despite this, she still has unrealistic expectations of cissie. she doesn’t understand why she doesn’t want to be a hero because cassie has always wanted that, and wants cissie to want that too.

so, we get to issue 35 where everything comes to a head with cissie.

she refuses to listen to cissie even though time and time again shes told. after cissie proves a point, cassie finally starts to understand (although she still pushes it a few times in the next issue)

and then after going through a war and having tim and bart leave, and tim come back, and suddenly shes running for leader and confesses to “kon” that she loved him, or thought she loved him, and then she is leader and shes handling a full on invasion of zandia.

so needless to say, cassie doesn’t really have time to think about herself and her identity. at this point her hair has grown significantly, and she’s no longer acting entirely like herself.

so this all happens, greta betrays everyone (deserved) and then suddenly shes human and then donna dies which cassie takes very hard.

a pattern ive noticed is that the more disconnected from herself that she gets, and the more angrier, she changes her appearance to be more feminine, like she’s in denial or at least trying to hide behind femininity so she doesn’t have to admit her own emotions to herself.

as she starts a somewhat vague relationship with conner, she never really refers to him as her boyfriend, often using the word friend instead, despite conner referring to her as his girlfriend.

she also starts to project this idea of femininity and repression, specifically onto raven. when raven expresses considerable discomfort at wearing a dress, cassie counters this with a “you said you wanted to expand your wardrobe”, like she wants raven to be what she’s trying to be. feminine, happy and without fault.

later, she mentions her previous appearance, ambitions, and seems to have a sense of hatred for her previous self, despite in all accounts she was quite happy and open during that period in her life.

to me, cassie’s femininity is a way to hide her true self. its the way she can feel better and not as confused, and try to be someone shes not by just denying the way she really feels.

in conclusion cassie is a butch lesbian thank u for reading this makes absolutely no sense but idc bc the cassie brainrot is real and has taken hold

#cassie sandsmark #character analysis #does this make sense #wonder girl #dc comics #lesbian cassie sandsmark #queer cassie sandsmark #young justice 1998 #young justice #teen titans #teen titans 2003 #teen titans v3 #quinn shut the fuck up challenge #cissiecassie

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lulusbabygirl · 10 months

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Ideas for fakeboys when they don’t want to feel so fake!

*aftercare post*

Look at yourself in the mirror, what are your favorite masculine features? Point them out and focus on them. Feel the happiness they bring you!!

What about your personality is traditionally masculine? It’s okay if you lean more feminine, you can still find wonderful masculine things about you. We all need a balance of both!

Do you like the exercise? Exercising always makes me feel more masculine. It feels good to help my body feel good!

Do something feminine while allowing yourself to feel like a man. This one is hard for some of us, doing anything feminine without feeling like a woman. This one isn’t for everyone but sometimes all you have to do is try. If you start feeling like a girl, that’s okay! You can try again another day and you are allowed to lean into being a girl if it helps you feel good. You can be a man again. You are not forced to be a woman, ever. You have all the power to choose no matter what anyone says in or out of kink (even what you say!)

Buy yourself some nice dress clothes. Doesn’t have to cost much, go thrifting and see if something fits you well! A nice pair of dress pants help me on some days I just need to feel like a man again.

For switches, dominate someone. I know sometimes these roles of sub=girl dom=boy can be really restrictive sometimes but I know a lot of us feel this submissiveness tied to being a girl. Being dominant to someone is such a great way to express your masculinity and feel powerful. It also just feels good knowing you’re letting someone unwind and lose control in the safety of your care!

Buy a woman in your life flowers. Can be a ingman too, but there is something about buy a woman flowers (especially a girlfriend or wife if you have one) that makes me feel like I’m being a good man. It’s one of those stereotypical masculine things, the husband goes out to get his wife some flowers. You get your mom flowers on Mother’s Day. Not all stereotypes are good but I love that I can put a smile on my girl’s face and give myself a pick me up as well.

Be the big spoon! I am a bit of a jet pack as my girlfriend is quite a bit taller than me, but it still feels so amazing having my arms wrapped around her. I love that I can protect her through the night while we sleep.

Think of that girl self. Listen to her, hear her. Allow her to exist. Let her know she will have her time when you are ready. Care for your whole self. This kink no matter how shameful is a part of you. I crash very hard when I orgasm and so badly want to get rid of her but I know that I need to accept her. She is there for a reason. Whether that reason be good or bad she is trying to help you find a way through. Sexuality is a powerful tool, let it guide you to where you most want to be.

Overall: You are you! Man or woman or somewhere in this wide spectrum you are worthy of love and care. From yourself most especially. Enjoy your time as a masculine figure, a man, a person, whatever you call your identity. Come back to being a woman when you are ready. Don’t push too hard. Just let your feelings take you where you need to go.

#I know it was a bit disorganized but I hope it helps someone!#fakeboy #ftm detrans kink #ftm girl #ftm misgendering #misgender me #forced detrans #detransition kink #detrans k1nk #ftm sub #ftmtf kink

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still-a-morosexual-help · 1 year

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I mean I would argue that the dame culture presented in game is at least comparable to drag, in the way that it's a very performative kind of gender presentation that is completely unrelated to the performers actual gender, but I totally agree that om is clearly presenting the event as something other than cross dressing or the traditional understanding of drag as a man in a dress and it's really nice to see! Its like- gender performance vs performative gender if that makes any sense? Idk lol but it's really nice to see men performing femininity without any shitty jokes

Also it's really funny to me that beel keeps breaking his heels because they absolutely make heels for drag with steel reinforcements so either he's breaking THOSE (wouldn't put it past beel) or they don't have that kind of heel in the devildom lol

Sorry you're getting weird terfs harassing you :(

No I get that!! I definitely see it as being comparable to drag (which is not a bad thing! Drag is great and allows for a lot of gender expression and there's different kinds of drag) but it also feels different? I think it's because the Devildom doesn't seem to hold any of the gender stereotypes of the human world? Which affects the entire event.

I've spoken about it in my previous posts and in some that are still on queue but;

The dressing up/crossdressing is never treated as anything other than normal. Even when the brothers have problems with it it's never with the actual part of becoming a "dame" - it's things like breaking their heels or being too lazy to put in too much effort.

Being a "Dame" is a character, just like how in drag most people play characters, and a Dame is characterized by "nobility" : the Dames are supposed to be kind, gracious, selfless, poised characters

This is shown in OM! by how Mammon loses his accent whenever he's performing as a "Dame". But there's a lot of intertwining/overlap between acting the part of the Dame and the brothers' everyday gender presentation

Barbatos and Asmo somewhat put an emphasis on show makeup (aka exaggerated makeup) versus everyday makeup, they're both well versed in both kinds

Asmo wears a lot of stereotypically feminine clothes & makeup & heels in everyday life without it affecting how he views himself as a man

Mammon and Lucifer both wear heels often enough that wearing them comes naturally to them

I think there's one card where Mammon's wearing (comparatively) light makeup and honestly I see it as being something that he's used to (you can't blend your eyeshadow as well as Mammon has in his recent card and be new to it, specially for someone who's not naturally artistic)

Mammon says that what he wears doesn't matter as long as he looks like a badass, which feels like it's more than just about this specific situation where he has to act like a Dame - it genuinely just feels like how Mammon as a person would see himself

Lucifer & Barbatos (two of the most serious and badass/dangerous characters in the game) are looked up to as "exceptional dames" despite neither dressing up for the contest. They are viewed as professionals in the area. But I don't see either Barbatos or Lucifer as people who would put on a character that is significantly different from their usual selves (the way Mammon had to)

I think what it comes down to is that drag (for most people) is something that you can at least somewhat take off at the end of the day? Like for Beel, I absolutely cannot see him wearing dresses/heels while out of his Dame character. But Asmo wears makeup/heels/stereotypically feminine clothes, Mammon wears makeup/heels, Lucifer wears heels, Barbatos apparently wears makeup often enough too, in their everyday lives while still all presenting as male that at this point it moves away from being a performance and becomes just a part of them and a part of how they present themselves/their gender. And so, at this point, because makeup/heels/dresses are just things that shouldn't be assigned genders of their own it can't really be considered crossdressing anymore. And in the Devildom no one bats an eye at that.

Does that make sense?

Also, just.... these characters are thousands if not millions of years old - of course they're not gonna stick to gender stereotypes or a specific gender presentation. Objectively, I don't think it's even possible - with the way gender & gender stereotypes change with time - even if you pick one gender and stick to it, what it means to be that gender would change over time when you've lived that long. So at some point you're gonna say "fuck it, I'm doing whatever the fuck makes me comfortable"

BEEL WAS GOING THROUGH IT. MAN WAS TRAUMATISED.😭😭😂

No listen he definitely was breaking through them as well!

🤷✌️

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gay-otlc · 2 years

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I've already mentioned this in the general I Kissed Shara Wheeler screaming post but I'm going to talk more about how much I love the execution of Smith's gender identity because everything about it was so well done?

First of all, I was very happy to see some more diverse nonbinary representation! More nonbinary rep is always good to have, and I love Ash's character a lot, but they're a bit of a stereotype. I'd like to reiterate no hate to Ash, I love them, but they are assigned female, short hair, weird earrings, they/them pronouns, on TikTok. Which is fairly standard, though in no way bad.

Smith, though. A genderqueer character who's assigned male at birth, a definite rarity even in queer fiction. Football player, typically masculine build, doesn't use they/them pronouns.

I like how he and Ash coexist in the same book, and they're both nonbinary (or some sort of non-cis), and the book is really just telling us there's no one way to be nonbinary. Fantastic. Shoutout to Casey McQuiston for giving us this.

The scene where we found out Smith maybe wasn't cisgender after all was also fantastic, potentially my favorite scene in the book. The whole experience of "well I feel like that and I'm not queer" and then later realizing your queer is so relatable and an experience I think a lot of queer people share. As someone who has absolutely done that multiple times, Smith experiencing that Oblivious Queer moment made me laugh.

Ash's explanation of how traditionally feminine interests =/= being a girl, and short hair =/= being a boy, was a good and also fairly realistic way of separating gender identity and expression. I don't think most people in real life will use the unicorn thing, but people do talk about hair. It didn't feel forced.

The way Smith described dysphoria was also great. Sometimes it is looking at your body and hating, loathing, it should be the other binary sex, but sometimes it's not- sometimes it's "I wish it was different but I guess I can deal with it." And wearing baggy clothes to try to imagine your body is different? Very relatable.

"You know... if being a guy feels like something you have to do, like it's an obligation or something..." Ash says carefully. "Maybe think about that." This line is probably getting so many readers to question their genders. Honestly, reading something like this would have been my genderqueer awakening if I hadn't been awakened already.

In the burn pile, Smith's multiple attempts at answering the prompt "what is a moment in your life that you felt truly yourself," and the way he struggled with finding a time he felt truly himself, was a painfully common queer experience.

The football response to that prompt was good, but I adored the one about feeling endless, like the Holy Spirit. Queering religion and using it to feel closer with your gender. Very glad McQuiston didn't take the "I'm queer so fuck being religious I guess" route, because that is fairly common, the "I'm queer and religious and they enhance one another" mindset is nowhere near explored enough.

Smith also wears his letterman jacket all the time, even in eighty degree heat, which Chloe puts down to "jock flexing," but reading that scene after finding out Smith wears that jacket to cope with dysphoria makes the reader see this fashion choice of his in a very different way. I see what McQuistion did there.

I didn't expect Smith to end up being genderqueer (though I definitely called the thing with Rory), but I'm so glad he is, because that whole subplot was beautiful and I clearly have a lot of thoughts on that, but I'll shut up now.

#i kissed shara wheeler #iksw #iksw spoilers #this is my blorbo and yall have to deal with that fact

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dielitttt · 2 years

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Astro Observations pt. 6🦁

From what I’ve seen People with Prominent Leo placements tend to have serious problems w their back if afflicted or sometimes with their eyes. They also have pretty thick hair and sometimes have this light or golden tone to hair sometimes.

Libra risings or libra in personal planets tend to have a big bootay

Underrated opinion but Leo moons tend to be curvy

Moon-Venus in Harmonious aspects can lowkey indicate having a nice chest or having a big chest (breast)

Mars or Aries ascendant or prominent mars in personal planets can indicate losing weight or having the figure u want from exercising easy sometimes

Scorpio moons r so paranoid broo these mfs think people be looking at their messages w ppl

I’ve seen that sometimes Sagittarius Venuses or 9h or 8h in Venus tend to be into astrology sometimes

Sagittarius in 1h or Sagittarius rising r such trend hoppers sometimes like their humor or music taste can revolve around TikTok or something like that but it’s usually when their younger and in their teens

Sometimes your family can share some type of placement with you in their chart(s) for example; My grandma and my 3 cousins from my mother’s side have Leo moon like me.

Nessus in Aquarius people or in 11h sometimes have people single them out in their early childhood. Father figure or Parent figure could’ve made promises but never fulfilled them.

TW: Mention of abuse

Nessus aspecting asc people probably had a parent abuse them or was revolved around abuse in early childhood

Nessus-Mars people might’ve suffered violent abuse towards them or been surrounded by it. Or violence in general.

Leo sun dudes tend to have hair in their face or some type of hairstyle like that mfs be looking emo w that shit

I feel like if Miami beach would have a big three it would have been fire dominant cause the amount of crazy and wild shit ppl do is like...concerning

Why do libra men always seem more feminine like idk how libra even is a masculine sign if it represents many feminine things.

I’ve always seen duos with Fire dominant+Earth dominant always have long term friendships but have opposite opinions about things and can argue abt it sometimes

Pisces placements tend to avoid the bad qualities from things that they did themselves for example my mom told me her pov and that she was innocent, but my grandparents told me the true story and it turns out she was the reason the whole thing happened.

Libra moons can sometimes point out people’s insecurities without having the intention to

Sagittarius Mercurys r so funny for no reason at all

Don’t take this to offense but sometimes Virgo placements look odd-looking or have this weird ass stare dawg

CANCER RISINGS HAVE SUCH RBFS LIKE THEY LITERALLY SCARE ME

Pisces moons do so well in the music industry half the artist I listen to have Pisces moon especially Bad bunny

18th degree is not even that bad but sometimes it could manifest weird things

The stereotype that libra placements are hoes is true but it usually goes with men

Leo risings r so fcking fine like omg

Fire risings be looking good in black and dark-colored clothes that are kinda revealing or that cover their neck or just shows their figure.

Aries risings and Taurus risings look good with septum piercings in their nose or just nose piercings in general

I feel like sagittarius's represent the color purple in a way yk

I usually get told that i look like alexa demie but more pale and i think its bc of the leo influence in my chart and bc my sun trines my asc

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luesmainblog · 1 month

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unrelated to anything else but i honestly really love this growing trend of people deciding to fully embrace Being the thing that they're told is evil or bad or boring. even the ones i think are stupid or dangerous! they're following a basic philosophy that i generally agree with! woman taking on the Bimbo label with joy and power, embracing the heavilly feminine and refusing to let big boobs, hot clothes and pink everything be something used to Dismiss them. yeah im a barbiegirl bimbo AND im a doctor, what of it. you gotta take me seriously eventually. gays taking to the oldschool queer pride showiness, the rainbow everything, the hotpants with "daddy" on the ass and nothing else, the california femme stereotype being embraced and loved and celebrated. yeah i'm a fag, what of it!! what are you gonna do!! fucking come at me trans girls taking on the kawaii movement with reckless abandon, nyaing at eachother and wearing full lolita to the grocery store because it looks fucking cute. Yeah i'm trans Yeah i'm 'exaggerating girlhood' can i fucking help you?? these are just a few examples, i really could go on, but there really is something magical and powerful about being told "oh you don't want to be x, oh don't act like this you'll make the rest of us Look Bad, oh it was fine that something bad happened because they were one of THOSE people" and standing up to say ACTUALLY, fucker, acceptance means accepting ALL OF US. to say i will NOT conform to your STUPID standards just to be treated like a HUMAN!!!

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rivkael · 11 months

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rowling and femininity.

the kind of literary analysis we have in Lit classes is so simplistic but it is meant to teach critical thinking.

it's just not great at it.

the perennial example: the blue curtains. Why were the curtains blue? English class will have you guess that the author was trying to create a mood, or built a metaphor. that might be true, but the real critical thinking you need is different.

let's do another example and i'll show you what i mean.

within jk rowling's novels, the Harry Potter series, there is only one named irish character, seamus finnegan. this character is shown to have a fascination with explosions and alcohol throughout the books. this is likely because during the time jk rowling was growing up, the Troubles were occuring and she would have seen a lot of news about bombs in ireland, associating the two in her mind whether she realised it or not.

thus, we see, a stereotype is born of a person's experiences. a harmful stereotype.

and if the writer did not take the time to try and write past those experiences, then their biases will shine through every time.

rowling consistently describes villainous women as 'mannish' with 'thick fingers' 'square jaws' and 'wide shoulders' - see rita skeeter and dolores umbrige especially. they are also often written as overperforming feminity with heavy makeup, bright clothing, an excess of pink, and high, irritating voices. bellatrix lestrange is another example, overperforming femininity in a more sexual way, defined of her love for an insane man.

from this, we can infer that ms rowling believes that a bad woman is someone who, despite trying to appear feminine and womanly, has manly traits leak through.

as far as we know, she has never examined this bias.

she also, just in general, dislikes girlish things. hermione granger, luna lovegood and ginny weasley are all female characters who fall into the trap of being strong, independent women while also losing their chance to be allowed to be pretty and feminine within the plot. aside from the yule ball, we never see any of these girls doing anything stereotypically feminine - they do not like children, or makeup, or fashion, they do not gossip or form 'girlfriend' groups, and just in general they all seem to be outcasts from their fellow girls. they are all loud, weird, rude, tomboys etc. and while that is certainly something to aspire to, shouldn't girls be allowed to be feminine too?

it's like ms rowling believes that femininity is alright in moderation, that it is not something to ever focus on and if you do, well, you must either 1) know literally nothing else, as seen by hermione's roommates, who are essentially defined by their love of animals, divination and gossip throughout the books, or 2) you are using it to hide a darker personality trait, as shown above.

the idea that a woman is only a 3d character if she tosses aside her femininity is reductive and antifeminist.

thus, i conclude that ms rowling has an unexamined bias surrounding femininity and who is allowed to perform it. this, naturally, leads us to the question - is this part of the reason why she fell so easily into her current crusade? and, with her cocooned away from the ordinary people, will we ever be able to reach her and show her the truth?

Donate to Stonewall UK here

#anti jkr #harry potter meta #hp meta #fiction analysis #riv speaks #riv writes #harry potter

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v-anrouge · 7 months

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i almost never draw men despite being a gay homosexual fruity man so genderbends just really tickle my pickle however twst fans are so egregiously bad at doing genderbends??? do. people just think genderbends are longer hair, boobs, and an hourglass figure? fem!vil would not just be vil but with allat YOU WANKERS RAAAGGHHHHH. vil is feminine because hes a MAN and is breaking out of the norms of being a man. his femininity is crucial to his identity as a man. whatever he may be, he'll always be gnc, because the whole point about him is that he DESPISES stereotypical expectations of gendered presentation. he owns his masculinity while also being comfortable in his femininity. so if vil were a woman she'd have short hair, dress in typically masculine clothes, call herself a king-- fuck, vil would probably use he/him pronouns. all that wouldn't negate fem!vil's identity as a woman because her womanhood is based off being her truest self, of embracing the energy that makes her, her, even if it isn't stereotypically feminine, and breaking out of the norms is what gives her power and comfort in her identity. her womanhood IS breaking out of the confines that shackle women to this paragon of submissive perfection. it makes me mad when people waste the potential of genderbends especially since gender can add different and interesting nuance to a character given how the concept itself can shape and affect people's lives on the whole. not to mention, women are often given more shit for doing the exact same thing men do so it'd be interesting to see these characters changed to adapt to that. more people might be anti's of fem!vil than of og!vil. call her a manhater and a feminist that's weakening society and so much more horrible shit because every weak man just NEEDS to drag a strong woman down and humble her and though og!vil is already headstrong, full of confidence, and ready to give anyone shit, fem!vil would have to build her resilience even more against the raging misogyny she'd receive. she knows just how much the world hates women and gnc people like her and that's what motivates her even more to destroy society's narrowminded perception of gender. and you just know how butch women aren't even perceived as women by many members of the queer community-- she's a woman, and she's butch, masculine, etc etc and you'll know it. she won't take shit from both heteronormative people AND prejudiced queer people.

maybe im just speaking yappanese because twst doesn't really have the history of misogyny and sexism as the real world does however there is proof that there is toxic gender norms where we can see the toxic masculinity from the real world being reflected in epel so id take that as an indicator that we may share similarities in some of their societies.

anyhow point is that if you genderbend gnc characters like vil to just be the stereotypical representation of the gender you're bending tjem to, you're the person they hate the MOST. you're putting them in the box they DESPISE because you refuse to see all the effort they've put into their non-conforming identity and seeing them as nothing more than what you expect from them-- perceiving them in the constricting standard they're fighting to break. STOP MAKING ALL FEM!CHARACTERS SHORTER AND THINNER AND MORE CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE YOU SCAT STAINS!!!!! WHILE A PART OF WOMANHOOD AND UNDESERVING OF HATE, ITS NOT THE PARAGON OF WOMANHOOD BECAUSE THERE IS NO STANDARD TO IT AND TO DEPICT ALL FEM!CHARACTERS AS A MONOLITH OF THE SORT IS AN INJUSTICE TO THEM AS A WHOLE!!! you want a girlboss but can't even do girlbosses right what makes you think you can handle girlfailures or girldisasters OR GIRLINSANITY. women are not there for you to draw them pretty. they can be just as complex as their masc counterparts if not more than in some scenarios.

like fem!jamil would be even more tragic. fem!riddle too. fem!leona too. not to say that they aren't already full of existing nuance because they ARE and it's GREAT but fem characters are just so full of heart wrenching potential AND NO ONE TAKES IT UP RAGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

anyways im not even a girl kisser but i would kiss fem!rook because i fucking love it when girls are unfiltered and creepy and off-putting and disturbing and covered in blood. maybe im bisexual. who knows.

also i just think fem!malleus would be super cool like ahagha girllll you're SO autistic and strange and frightening pleasseeee talk to me about gothic architecture while i explode.

ANON U ATE LIKE HIGHKEY OH MY GOD PLEASE IM PUTTINGTTHIS IN THE MAIN TAG

i never quite understood why i always disliked vil genderbents specifically until like some time ago that i realized the reason i hated it it's because the way people draw it (hyperfemme) doesn't make sense for vil's character, it doesn't make sense that vil, as a man would dress feminine to fight gender roles yet if he was a woman that wouldn't happen and she would still be dressing feminine. genderbents r such an :/ topic because most ppl that make them take the characters make them shorter, skinnier, puts then in tight short clothes, gives them long hair makeup and idk man it always puts me off like being a woman is way more than that and despite the fact a lot of women do present themselves that way, making EVERY character be like that is just idk it FEELS wrong. i feel like most genderbents r just copy and pastes of the same gender roles slapped into a character carelessly just because and honestly it fucking sucks

#✎ ⇣‧₊˚ 【asks #ৎ୭ ⇣‧₊˚ 【stinks #♡ᭂ ⇣‧₊˚ 【 pome's cult member #vil schoenheit #twst vil schoenheit #twst vil

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