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#nct 127 smut
suhweetdreams · 2 days ago
hi!!! are you taking smut requests? ignore this if you dont but if you are, can i request morning sex with mark?
nectar (mark)
warnings/tags: irl porn at the end for visualisation, blowjob, cum swallowing, riding, unprotected sex, pwp, brief face-sitting
word count: 1.9k
a/n: sure anon <3, this is for fem!reader btw. link at the end contains irl porn pleaaase don't click unless you're comfortable!
NSFW UNDER THE CUT, MINORS DNI!
“oh man… he’s knocked out cold,” you mumble, squinting at the bright light seeping in through the windows. it baths the room in warmth perfectly, providing that gentle caress of apollo in the messy room that you could half call your home at this point. like the complicated wires of his recording software bundled up at the corner, you were entangled tightly with mark’s complicated life as an idol, having had met the man at a concert where the group’s lightstick hit you in the face, hard.
it had become a running joke ever since you’ve been coming over to the dorms more and more, even getting you a celebratory cake that said please don’t injure her again when mark had finally confessed after months of pestering from the members. johnny had whispered to you that maybe you could finally get your revenge by slamming mark’s face into the cake.
giggling quietly at the memory from two years ago, you’re finally met with mark’s peaceful face, deep in slumber. the sun hardly touches him, blocked by your body as you propped your upper body up with an elbow. he looks so beautiful, so so divine that you can’t help but trail a hand over his covered body, blanket up to his neck since he gets cold easily.
“mmhm…” he mumbles, albeit still unconscious with the slightest knit of his eyebrows. you’re on high alert with that expression, observing him for a few seconds more if he really did happen to have a bad dream. his breaths seem to be laboured, irregular and needy that you catch on without fail. while you readjust yourself under the covers, your knee brushes against his centre to test the waters while your eyes drink in the furrowing of his eyebrows and shaky breathless whimpers he lets out.
“oh. so it’s that kind of dream,” a smirk is plastered on your face, frequenting the contact of your knee against his crotch as you rub him through the fabric. mark thrashes in the sheets below you, obvious that your movements are only fuelling the nasty, dirty fantasy he’s having in his sleep. with a hand, it slips inside his shorts to squeeze the bulge, adding and removing pressure that mark straight up ruts into your hand.
“a..ahn… (y/n)…” he mumbles out, digging his face deeper into the pillow with a tense to his muscles, on edge like intense dance practices and when mark’s just striving to make you cum behind closed doors. right now, you smile to yourself with the tables turned, speeding up your hand. the covers are thrown off of you and you take the chance to see how much he’s making a mess through the underwear, hips shimmying out of the loose sweatpants to chase the tempting touch of your skin on his dick.
you’re so zoned in on the sight that you don’t realise mark’s already awoken, the scrunch on his face displaying the mix of immense pleasure and the annoying headache he’s feeling due to a hangover. like a vice, your hand tightens around his hardening cock that it draws a long moan out of him and you have to bite your lip from concealing your own. the other fists the bedsheets, finger tapping against the cotton; a habit you noticed he does when he's close.
"ack!" you exclaim when mark takes over, meeting his familiar dick as he fishes it out of his underwear, now fully rock hard with beads of pre-cum leaking from its tip. the idol wastes no time in forcing your mouth on him, smiling when it's thrusted so deep that it touches the back of your throat; you gag uncomfortably but recover rather quickly, humming around his length. the warmness of your mouth mimics your pussy so good, and mark can't help but continue the bucking of his hips.
it reminds mark of the countless many sessions he's had with you, hot and heavy in the recording studio as you fucked ruthlessly in the soundproof toilet. shivering and toe-curling on the vibrating washing machine, stimulating your clit while mark hit it from the back. maybe mark's checking off all the boxes, because the way your eyes look up at him at half-mast, desire swirling in your eyes, sinks him into a trance. the gentle whisper of sun rays paint your body like a renaissance painting, splayed over his legs and the remainder of the duvet covers. maybe this is the check box that marks the time where he lazily fucks into you as you struggle to hold in your moans, voice raspy from the morning.
likewise, the thought of mark's cock in you makes you shift uncomfortably, the wet patch on your underwear undeniably growing by the minute with your core pulsating and throbbing. his hands hold your head in place, fingers carding through your locks laced with possibly last night's drunken sweat. they pull back your hair, creating a small ponytail while you tease the tip with your tongue and lick a stripe up his shaft. the sounds you make with your mouth could rival the ones you're making with your fingers on your core, moaning the slurping up his pre-cum that has his length twitching.
"y-yes... oh fuuuck, (y/n)..." his head is thrown back as your bob your head, trailing your hands over his torso where you can feel the contraction and expansion of his ribs. it doesn't take long for mark to cum, hips halting its movements for a second to pump your mouth full of his seed. a smile breaks through when you cringe at the taste, but he's sure you don't mind it since you've done it many times before. "c'mere, angel."
the name makes you grin, getting off the comfort of his thighs to let him taste himself, indulging in a short kiss before mark takes the chance to tug at your shorts. he thumbs it down without effort, coming right off your bottom half as you manoeuvre from knee to knee to let the man take it off.
mark whistles lowly at how soaked you are, a lazy, boyish grin taking over his features as his fingers slip between your folds. they shamelessly leak more juices when mark's digits make contact with your clit, already clenching over cock that you haven't even received. slowly, they trickle down the expanse of his hand and your thighs, a lone string of arousal connecting from your cunt to the tip of his finger.
"so wet, so early in the morning," mark giggles, mirroring your earlier action as he prods at your mouth with those fingers. you taste yourself on him, suckling and licking around them like you just did to his length. "i'll fit right in, won't i?"
you make a noise of approval before grabbing his dick, inching it into you gently and gradually. mark bottoms out and you mewl, shivering at how deep he's in you without any effort before grinding down on him. the little tufts of hair on his skin brush against your sensitive spots near your folds that make the pleasure all the better, and you have to brace yourself with both hands on his chest.
"feel good, honey?" mark's found clarity in his voice now, voice dripping exactly like the pet name while you continued to get used to the seemingly growing erection in you. with eyes closed from both the pleasure and the increasing brightness of a new day, your hips move on their own accord, moving up and down his dick at a slow pace.
"'s good, mark," you babble, instantly speeding up your ministrations. his cock splits you open so good even if you aren't going at your usual pace, choking out mixes of moans and whimpers along with the sounds of your ass descending on his dick.
"you're so d-deep, mark! ooh, hhnn..." your arms are ready to give out, opting instead to lay on his chest with a small pound me leaving your lips. your arms go around him to clutch at the headboard, the sudden snap of mark's hips elicits a dramatic gasp from you. he's filling you up to the brim, and the groan in your ear shows the similar feeling that mark's experiencing.
mark takes your order to heart, the force of his hips continuing their assault on your poor, poor pussy so early in the morning. "babe, you're so- fucking- t-tight, holy shit!" a breathless laugh, a hand to your ass, butterfly kisses along your collarbone, everything else is forgotten except for those few things that dance around in your mind.
"faster, deeper, please...!"
his chuckle is interrupted by a groan, "i'm at my fastest, baby. i did go all out for our last concert yesterday."
the squelching sounds coming from between your legs make you cry out, drool dripping down the sides at your mouth as mark takes up more of your mind. mark, mark, mark falls from your lips repeatedly as he rocks in and out,
"you-" a soft, delirious giggle escapes you at mark's reference to the concert yesterday.
"no words, huh? maybe i should fuck you till you're babbling nonsense," the lack of response makes mark smile against your skin, mouth latching onto your neck.
with the little tap of his finger against your ass and the falter of his thrusts, you know he's close to reaching his peak. his sloppy movements still bring out the worst in you, either way, moans increasing tenfold as his cock continues to impale you. you hold onto his bicep for life, body rocking deliciously against his.
you're so warm, both inside and out, forehead already producing beads of sweat as your hot cavern clenches around his shaft repeatedly. mark pounds into your pussy relentlessly, brushing up against that spot that makes your body convulse before you're gushing and cumming around him, juices leaking non-stop onto the sheets while the knot continues to be undone.
"ahnn- mark! maaark..." the drawl of his name makes the other's eyes roll back in pleasure, not giving you the chance to recover as he pulls his cock out of you. there's an endless trail of profanities leaving his mouth while he pumps out the last bit of restraint out of him, finally letting go on his stomach when he looks at your spasming body, pussy dripping with both your juices.
his cock spurts out hot, white cum, staining his stomach before he lets out a satisfying whine and other breathless words that you can't catch on to. you swipe up his seed with your finger, dipping it into your mouth like dessert that you hum around it.
"i guess i won't need breakfast for a while," you joke, clenching your thighs together to prevent the further dirtying of your sheets. you did change it a week ago...
"ah. no no, don't close 'em," mark beckons you closer with his finger, "i won't need breakfast, either."
you know what's in store for you when the other licks his lips, a sick grin appearing on his face. and when you finally take your rightful place on his face, you find that you'll never get tired of mark's tongue laid flat against your soaking cunt, lapping all that you can offer that mark describes tastes like honey, like nectar. you tell him he's lying, but who are you to judge the words of someone who eats you out so good?
one day, you'll be convinced, but for now, you're fine with accepting the embarrassing compliments from mark, since he's the only one that makes your pussy flutter like a little slut.
(it's irl porn, please please don't click unless you're comfortable) how i imagine mark would fuck you <3
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sluttyten · a day ago
hi hi!! may i please request a Johnny smut with the prompts 22, 29, and 30? love your work and i love all these prompts!!!
Johnny + “lift that skirt up, baby.” + “you look so pretty like this.” + “i thought you wanted to be a good girl.”
Johnny was the friend of a friend, someone you’d met in passing a few times when your friend and his friend hosted parties, and when your mutual friends decided to get married, asking you to be in the wedding party, you got to see Johnny a bit more often. He was funny, tall, handsome, loud and opinionated, and he was definitely attractive.
You let this silent crush blossom inside you as the wedding preparations went on, and at the few pre-wedding activities that involved both the bridesmaids and the groomsmen, you found yourself gravitating toward Johnny. You just liked being near him, caught within the bubbly warmth of his atmosphere. But you didn’t make any moves because the last thing you wanted was to risk the genial camaraderie of the two parties before the wedding.
But then the day arrived at last.
The ceremony was an outdoor summer ceremony, which was lovely, followed by the wedding photos of the bride and groom and their respective entourage, and at last there was a reception. 
The photos are all taken within walking distance of the pavilion where the reception is being held, and as the photographer calls an end to the photoshoot, and the parties and the newly wedded couple start their walk to the pavilion, you realize that the strap of your heel has somehow come unfastened.
You pause, steadying yourself against a tree as you lean down to fix your heel. And that’s when you catch sight of a pair of feet standing behind you, followed by Johnny’s familiar voice saying, “You look so pretty like this.”
You straighten up and turn around. “Excuse me?”
Johnny smiles his charming smile. “I just mean, like, the dress and the heels and the sunlight and you’re so smiley today. You look really pretty.” 
“Flattery, Suh. What are you up to?” You reach back down to try to fix your heel, but then Johnny’s crouching down beside you, his hands gentle on your calf and then his fingertips light and nimble as he fixes the strap for you. 
“I just think you’re pretty.” He smiles up at you, and his touch tingle along your calf even after he withdraws your hand. “And can I help it if I’m feeling a little more charmed than normal by you today? It’s a romantic day, full of luck in love.”
You steady yourself on both feet now. “Yeah? You think just because it’s a wedding you’re gonna get lucky? I’m a good girl, Johnny Suh. It’ll take more than a little attempted flattery if you’re trying to get lucky with me.”
He doesn’t have to know how untrue that is. A few more words, another subtle touch, and you would melt into his arms and let him do whatever he likes.
Johnny laughs and falls in step beside you. “How much more will it take?”
You bite back a smile and push at his shoulder instead, which only makes him laugh even more, and your heart flutters at the sight of his beaming face. 
But you continue to resist what your heart wants. This wedding isn’t over; you still have responsibilities as a bridesmaid. As the afternoon fades into evening and the stars come out overhead, the heat of the celebration rises, and you watch as Johnny takes off his suit jacket, as he rolls up the sleeves of his shirt to reveal his forearms, and you can’t draw your eyes away as his perfectly styled hair loses a bit of its structure when he leans down to whisper something to another of the bridesmaids while catching your eye.
A little swirl of his dark hair falls over his right eye, and your fingers itch in your lap to reach over and tuck it back into place. And the way he’s looking at you, you think he must be able to read your mind. He smiles widely, and you feel your stomach tingle with more than just the few glasses of champagne you’ve downed. 
Johnny steps away from the other bridesmaid, and you watch him walking off toward the dancefloor which is filled with happy couples and rambunctious kids and in the middle of it all spins the new husband and wife. But your eyes follow Johnny through it all, and when you witness him reach a hand up to tousle his own hair, you give up all pretenses.
You drain the last sip of your champagne flute, and then you push to your feet and soon you’re weaving through the dancefloor toward where Johnny has emerged on the far side of the pavilion. He’s talking to someone you don’t recognize, but when you touch his arm lightly as you pass by, passing from beneath the gauzy edge of the pavilion out to the starlit night beyond, Johnny breaks away from that conversation to follow.
He catches up with you after a few steps, his hand drawn to your waist. 
“I thought you wanted to be a good girl?” Johnny asks, and no sooner have the words left his mouth than he spins you and pins your back to one of the trees scattering this area. Your breath leaves you for a moment, and you look up into his eyes, his face right before yours. “What’s a good girl like you doing coming out here in the dark with me?”
“Don’t tease. You’ve done enough of that all evening.” You tilt your chin up, challenging him. “Think you’re lucky, Suh?”
His smile never disappears, not even as he lowers his head until his breath is against your cheek, then his lips are so close to your throat that his cheek brushes your jaw, and then he lifts his lips to your ear and whispers, “Just tell me you’ll be a good girl for me, baby.”
The lost of your resolve disappears like mist into the night, and you drag Johnny’s mouth to yours. This kiss is saturated with all the heat of a summer night, with the taste of champagne tingling over your tongues and the sweetness of honey on your lips. This kiss is filled with all the urgency of a summer thunderstorm, the energy crackling under your skin as Johnny’s hands move in, pulling you close, and your hands press against him as well, exploring up his chest to his neck, diving into his hair.
You lift a leg to his hip, curling it around him, and Johnny makes a low sound of satisfaction in his throat. He sinks into you, pinning you between himself and the tree. If it weren’t for your dress, you would lift your other leg to pull him tighter into the embrace, but your dress is too short to allow for that.
“Lift that skirt up, baby,” Johnny tells you when his wandering hands find the edge of your dress. His lips barely leave yours long enough to get the words out. “I’ve waited so long for this moment, I just want to be inside you.” 
You press your hand to his cheek, pushing him away from your kiss, and you’re pleased to see Johnny trying to come back in for more. But you hold him back for a moment with your hand caressing his cheek. “You think I’m gonna let you fuck me against a tree? I’m not some dirty fuck. I told you, I’m a good girl, Johnny.”
Your thumb is at the corner of his mouth, and he turns his head in such a way just to be able to kiss the pad of your thumb. “Come back to mine then?”
The next few minutes are a blur. 
The pair of you return to the reception just to grab your few belongings, for Johnny to locate his keys and you to find your clutch with your keys and phone and ID. You don’t know if you say goodbye to anyone, if you make any explanation as to why you’re leaving, and the next thing you know, you’re in Johnny’s car with his hand on your thigh beneath your dress, and you are a good girl, he tells you as he touches you over your panties until you’re dripping. 
You shudder through an orgasm at a red light with Johnny’s fingers tucked inside your panties, and as soon as he puts his car in park outside his place, you would eagerly return the favor, but he’s out of his seat and around to your side, taking your hand and leading you from the car up the stairs to his apartment.
The moment the door shuts behind you and you’re both safely inside the privacy of his apartment you drop to your knees for Johnny. You blow him in the entryway, but Johnny stops you before he can cum, and you laugh and kiss him when he lifts you into his arms and carries you to his bed. He drops you on the mattress, immediately covering your body with his, kissing you again, and you wrap your limbs around him, making him leaving you impossible.
“I’m lucky, “ Johnny tells you as he positions himself at your entrance. “So lucky that you’re my good girl.”
You keen under his attention, his praise and the pleasure as he finally enters you. Johnny’s body rolls against yours, pushing you higher up the bed with each thrust. 
You’re both still fully dressed. The skirt of your dress is hiked up, your panties pulled aside, and Johnny has only just pulled his cock out of his pants, and something about both of your still being fully dressed makes this hotter to you. It makes it feel more desperate and passionate as he bites your lip and as you moan his name, as he hikes your leg higher so he can hit deeper.
And when you cum once with the pad of his thumb swirling against your clit and your tongue in his mouth, you roll Johnny underneath you, somehow winning the top position. 
Moonlight comes through the window beside his bed, illuminating his face as he gazes up at you, at the way you take control, riding Johnny and lifting your skirt up, lifting your dress over your head and letting it fall to the side. His hands go to your waist, and Johnny sits up, his mouth drawn to your chest, hands exploring all of your newly bared skin, loving the sounds you make as he worships your body with his lips, as you push yourself toward a second orgasm. 
“So pretty,” Johnny moans, kissing right over your heart, tipping you back in his lap. You cry out his name, clutching at his arm, trying to pull his mouth back up to yours by the hold you have on his hair. “You’re so pretty. So beautiful.” Johnny rambles out praises, and you can feel yourself tipping toward another orgasm, can feel that Johnny’s getting close too as he thrusts up into you, meeting each of your thrusts, and it just feels like so much, so good, like it’s worth all of these months that you’ve held yourself back from chasing this exact thing.
Johnny presses you down on him as he cums, his face he holds against where your throat meets his shoulder, his grunts of pleasure buried against your skin. You cum again too, your heart pounds beneath Johnny’s lips, and you let him carefully turn this around so you’re under him now. 
Johnny scatters kisses from your jaw down to your belly, over your thighs and back up again, interspersing murmurs of “good girl” and “so pretty” between the kisses. You touch his hair, just letting him go until he rests his head on your belly with a final kiss just beneath your navel. 
At some point, you both fall asleep, and it’s only hours and hours and hours later when the blinding morning sunlight is pouring in through the window and there’s a repetitive knocking noise that either of you stir.
Johnny stumbles to his feet. At some point in the night, he’d apparently woken enough that he’d stripped down naked, so now he digs into his closet and pulls out a pair of sweatpants. You blink in the sunlight, rub at your eyes and sit up. It takes another few seconds before you push yourself to your feet, crossing the floor toward the doorway that looks like a bathroom (it is), and you clean yourself up a bit before you walk out of Johnny’s bedroom.
The happy bride and groom are sitting in Johnny’s living room, and when their eyes land on you, your friend laughs and claps her hands over her mouth, looking over at her new husband. Johnny’s standing halfway between you and them, and he steps back in front of you.
“I knew it was going to happen between you two!” Your friend laughs, and then she stares at Johnny, and in a tone that’s far too serious and sober considering her bright reaction to seeing the pair of you together, she warns, “You be good to her, Johnny Suh.”
You can’t resist a smile as you step around Johnny, and tease him “Yeah, be a good boy to me, Johnny.”
requests are now closed! Thank you to everyone that sent your requests/prompts in, I really enjoyed writing these drabbles!
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theje0ngs · 18 hours ago
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“...divorce papers” preview
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SUMMARY | you were sick of jaehyun’s sick game of not signing the divorce papers you’ve sent him. PAIRING/CHARACTERS | jaehyun x fem reader GENRE/CATEGORY | angst, smut, marriage!au, non-idol!au, songfic PREVIEW WORD COUNT | 185 EXPECTED WORD COUNT | 4k to 6k? CONTENT WARNING | profanity, divorce, cheating - more to be added in the main fic GELA SAYS | aaaa i’m at like,,,, 4.2k ?? but we’re nearing the end! hopefully i’ll finish this soon 
read part one here ! 
want to be part of the taglist? answer this form !
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the calm waves of the sea sent shivers down your spine, the warm breeze of summer air hits your skin gently. perfect weather on pamalican island. 
“can i ask you something?” he broke the silence, propping his elbows. you nodded your head, “when… when did you realize you wanted to end our marriage? i know what i did was wrong but we could’ve saved it, you know?”
“you wouldn’t want to hear me answer that question.”
“i do, we’ve been separated for a year. i think i can handle it.”
“well,” you paused, “it was the night we fought after the f/w fashion show. i saw a stranger i knew very well. it was the first time i looked into your eyes and didn’t see the future, all i saw was the past. that’s when i realized… it was over for us.”
jaehyun sat there with his mouth agape, he was left speechless. “i-”
“oh, look at the time.” you interrupt, showing him the clock on your phone that says 2:34 am, “we have a wedding to attend later, i’ll go ahead. good night, jaehyun.”
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copyright © theje0ngs. 2021. all rights reserved.
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smileysuh · 2 days ago
for the kink request! jaehyun + size kink AAAAAAA i can really see jaehyun enjoy seeing his s/o be engulfed by him iykwim
10/10
Jae definitely likes being bigger than his partner, and at something like 6 feet in height, Jae often IS bigger than his partner. Jaehyun strikes me as someone who is very classically masculine in the way that he wants to be bigger than his partner, he wants to be the provider, no matter how pretty his face may be, he still has very primal drives and is a slut for manhandling his baby ugyiuhoipj
-He’d love all the little size kink things, like the look in your eyes when he boxes you in against a wall, or the little scream that leaves your lips when he suddenly throws you over his shoulder or lifts you up
-LOVES topping you and just pressing you down into the bed with his body and watching you with amusement as you squirm, unable to move under him fygiubhol
-he’s just so big- and it’s easier to just flip you onto your stomach than verbally tell you he wants to change up positions fuyvbkjlnk
-and if you were to put on one of his hoodies? Jaehyun is the biggest slut in the world for fucking you while you’re wearing one of his hoodies, like- don’t even fight me on this ftuygiubho
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Send me a Kink and a NCT boy (or poly unit) of your choice and I’ll tell you what he thinks of the kink, and give you a blurb on how he’d enjoy it ;)
Kink Game Masterlist
Please consider supporting me through kofi or paypal :)
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sproutlee · 2 days ago
….thinking abt hyuck and how he could get soooo into eating pussy that he’d probably end up overstimulating his partner (either on purpose or by accident) 🥰
honestly… his hot hands smoothing over the skin of your thighs as he holds them in place, the way he’d loosen his grip only to let you squeeze his face between your legs, whimpering for him to slow down. hyuck groaning into your pussy, feeling how wet you are for him, cheeks slick with your arousal.
he’d love the scratch of your nails on his scalp as he pushes you to your third release, shaking his head with his tongue relentlessly teasing your clit, skillful in the way he edges you before leaving a rough kiss that sends you over that edge.
it’s not until you make it hard for him to breathe that he finally parts, wiping his damp mouth on your thighs, smattering wet kisses on your stomach and up your body. he’d tell you if you liked that and wanted more, giggling with delight as you strain out a no, trying to encase your arms around his waist to stop him but you’re too weak from the orgasm that’s still thrumming through you.
yet, he knows when you’ve had enough so instead of going down again, he pulls you towards him, soothing you down from your high with praises before cleaning you up.
yeah… hyuck… would definitely overstimulate you on purpose. no way it’ll be by accident with that terrible wonderful mind of his
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tastyykpop · 11 hours ago
Could you do you try to pay for nct127?? Like you did Straykids
shameless promo for the skz one
also writing crack shit makes me laugh so hard cuz I think I'm the funniest person to have ever walked the earth and no one can tell me otherwise
ɴᴄᴛ 127 ʀᴇᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴀʏ
Taeyong
"I've got the check"
"woah woah woah! hold up, since when do you pay?"
"since now, gimme the check"
taeyong quickly snatches the check away
you both are practically glaring at each other like five year olds
it's not until you're on the table, fighting over the check that the waitress comes back and decides its a good day to quit
Taeil
"no"
"I didn't even say anything...."
Johnny
right when the waiter places the check on the table and you grab it, Johnny's staring at you
literally just 👁👁
and you're trying so hard to sign quickly and neatly but your hands are shaking cuz of the unwanted pressure
you don't actually have a chance at writing shit and he knows it
like he already took the check you can stop shaking
Yuta
"I'll pay"
those two words is literally the funniest thing he's heard all day and his roomate's taeil.
"you should be a comedian, youre soooo funny babe"
wipes imaginary tear and takes the check right from you
"but I wanna pay"
"and I want more lines but we can't always have what we want"
Doyoung
"im gonna-"
dude the checks no longer in your vicinity and suddenly you're already out the door
"what were you saying sweetie?"
Jaehyun
"I've got it"
"you ain't got shit, back down"
"im not fighting over the check again jae"
"good, give me the check"
"bite me."
"is that an invitation?"
"......I just wanna pay, man"
Jungwoo
"I can pay."
looks at you with so much love as he reaches over and squishes your cheeks
"she's growing up. god I remember just an hour ago you couldnt even order your own food and I had to do it for you."
"jungwoo I'm about three seconds away from shoving my credit card up your ass."
Mark
"I got it."
deep breath "HAHAHHAHAHHAH"
pulls out his card as his face is turning blue from not breathing cuz he's laughing so damn hard
"is me paying that funny to you??"
"no its funny you think you still have money on that card. why do you think there's so much watermelons at home?"
slams card on the table "im telling taeyong"
Haechan
"im paying"
"you think I got money with me?"
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peachybun-bun · 2 days ago
Mark of NCT for the dom/switch/sub thing?
Oh! Mork Lee!
This man could easily be a switch in my brain. Depending on his mood.
When he is in dom mode he'd be a bit harder in my head. I feel like he'd be into spanking and just general ass grabbing. Idk why he seems like such an ass man to me.
"Look at that pretty ass. You like huh?" His hand comes down on your ass with a loud pop as his palm makes contact with your flesh. You moan and glance back at him as his fingers dig into your skin pulling you back to meet his thrust. A groan falling off his lips as he leans his head back with a low laugh as your walls clench around him.
When he is a sub oh this man is straight up "baby boy" material. He wants to please you and will beg for any contact. His kink when he is subbing is 100% praise. He wants to hear how good he is being for you.
Your fingers wrapped around his length as Mark sits on the end of the bed, his mouth falling open in a silent groan. His eyes fixed on you as you smirk and tilt your head. "Do you want to cum baby boy?" Mark nods adamantly and whines, "Yes please baby. Please you make me feel so good. Can I cum?"
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ruin-17 · 2 days ago
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Pretty Eyes!
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just a random Taeyong fluff!
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'Ughghgg...let me gooo.....Tae---'
'Noo, if I let you go, you'll leave the bed.'
'Well yeah! It's literally 5 pm in the evening, and I have no plans on napping.'
'Awwww, c'mon, don't do this to me. Please baby just lie down with me.' Taeyong looked at you with the most beautiful, sparkly pair of eyes. It had you melting.
'Fine....but just for a little bit, I need to get on with my assignments.' You deadpanned, trying to hide your sweetness.
'Okayy......yay!'
You got in again, but to irritate Taeyong more, you turned your back on him. You didn't need to see, but already knew that he had a cute little frown on his face. You found it cute it to tease him.
He moved in closer to your back and nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck. He liked feeling your body's warmth, even though you were cold most of the time. He could smell the shampoo from your hair and rubbed his strong hands on your soft belly.
You giggled and shivered every now and then when he tried to tickle you. You could feel him smiling on your skin while wrapping his legs on your body as if engulfing you. He then lightly kissed the back of neck, moving all the hair to one side.
You gave in to his cuteness and turned to him. He was beaming in joy, literally his eyes were dripping in glee. You stared at his eyes like it was your only job at the moment.
'Eyy....what you looking at? Hey...you..' Taeyong asked sweetly.
'Your eyes are really pretty you know.'
'Is it your fist time noticing it?' He playfully asked with a frown.
'No not really, but today I just can't help but stare at it. Its beautiful!'
He chuckled and patted your head, 'Oh my! Y/n your making my heart skip a beat. Stop.'
'But Taeyong, I swear it looks so pretty. You look so pretty today.' You said sitting up and hovering over his body so that you could directly look into his eyes.
'Really! You want to know why?' Taeyong asked smiling.
'Umm, yeah sure. Did something funny happen today?' You asked excitedly.
'Its because, I have a beautiful you with me today. You look beautiful every single day, but after a long time I get to spend my time with you. Do you even know how much I missed you? Y/n I'm really happy to be here with you today.'
You never realised when you cheeks turned a cute shade of pink, and your mouth went dry. As Taeyong finished, he propped himself up and was now inches apart from you.
'So Y/n, did you miss me?'
You couldn't help but place your lips on his. Wrapping your arms around his neck you deepened the kiss and he pulled you in closer by your hips. He softly sucked your lower lip and you let your mouth open for him. Taeyong's lips made you melt into his arms. He tasted sweet and had you feeling all sugary and high. You could feel the little thumping of your heart increasing and you loved it. Taeyong caressed your back making you get goosebumps on your skin.
'Oh! Sorry! Didn't know you were here.....' A shy Haechan stood there with his back facing the two of you sitting with each other's body wrapped and lips entangled with each other's.
You moved out of Taeyong's grip and speed walked out of his room, all sheepish, red, flustered and with millions of butterflies jittering in your stomach.
'Hyung, I'm sorry I didn't mean to interfere. But seriously, you should've shut the door. You never know when what leads to something. You should be more careful with us around.'
'Haechan........I think I'm in love!'
Haechan stopped blabbering with that educating tone to make a point to his brother. He gawked at the older one.
Taeyong just laughed at him like a hopeless romantic and Haechan smirked at him.
'Y/Nnnnnn------------!!!'
'Haechan, nooo.......'
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I don't own any of the pictures, credits to the rightful owners.
a/n: Why the HECK am I posting again? No idea. My exams start from the 20th and I just couldn't help. I had to write something with all the nct 127 content coming up. I may not be able to enjoy the nct 127 comeback properly..........but anyways here's a sweet fluff for taeyong. Happy reading 🤗🤗
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planetjenos · a day ago
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[ 12:58 ] you push renjun against the wall. “baby what did i say to you about touching yourself without my permission?” “miss i didn’t mean to i just-” he stutters out. it’s not like he expected you to catch him, but as soon as he started to wrap his hand around his dick, you walked right in. it was almost like you were waiting for him to disobey. “shhh, boys like you who don’t listen deserved to be punished” you whisper, slowly trailing your hand up his shirt. “i-i’m sorry miss please forgive me”
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earth-to-that-asian · 2 hours ago
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[ 𝐇𝐨𝐭 𝐃𝐚𝐝 ]
⚠ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | Smut, Dilf! Aged Up! Mark, Trophy Wife! Reader, Age Gap, Finger Sucking, Fingering, Not Proofread
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Mr. Mark Lee is a hot dad. No really, it's true! Look at him, he's mowing his yard...and he looks like that?
One good glance at him and most people would want to know if his dick was as big as his yard. His dark hair appeared fluffed up on his head with little white strands every now and then. His black shorts that came right above the knee threatened to expose the rest of the jungle of his leg hair. And his shirt—well—was he even wearing one?
You furrowed your eyebrows while thinking about it. Looking up from your book (that you had no interest in) you glanced out the window.
There's his shirt.
White and drenched in sweat.
Blinking a few times, you just kept staring. You had every right to stare—after all he is your husband. Even when he stopped mowing you kept staring as he wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand.
Mr. Lee stood there, placing all his weight on one leg. Grabbing his shirt, he used his to cool himself off before glancing through the window to meet your gaze.
Your gaze was sweet, kind—Mark could use a bunch of gushy adjectives to describe the way you looked at him. He smiled endearingly at you, who seemed lost in his eyes, before he wheeled away the mower and entered the house where he was met by you.
You were sitting on the couch trying your best to read a book you found. "Hi" you smiled rather sheepishly, slightly embarrassed that your own husband had caught you staring.
He sighed in an attempt to hide a giggle, "Hi"
With a small smile on his face he shuffled his way to your side as you sat on the couch. You only decided to breathe when the air of nature, grass, and sweat filled your nostrils. Immediately pulling away from his touch, you almost died in the span of two seconds. "Please, take a shower" you squeaked, holding your breath.
Sighing, Mark pulled away from you "Why, do I stink?" he laughed before reaching for his shirt to sniff. He simply pursed his lips then ran to the shower.
Yeah—he stunk.
While Mark was completely occupied in the shower, you decided to sleep. At eight thirty-six in the evening? Yes.
At exactly eight forty, though—Mark was out of the shower. Walking out in only his favourite pair sweatpants, he bothered to check if you were asleep. To his unsurprise, you were.
In fact you were so deep in your sleep that when Mark jumped on he bed you didn't move a muscle.
He could've sworn you were dead.
Hours passed and when you finally woke up it was maybe two, three in the morning? You didn't know nor did you care, you just needed water. Nothing more, nothing less.
Surprisingly, you were vividly awake as you left your bed and entered the kitchen. In search of water, you opened the fridge and then—"What are you doin' up so early, baby?"
Ah yes, Mark Lee. Your husband.
Somehow you'd made it to the floor in front of the fridge in your search for water (you were pretty sure you just didn't want to bend down that low to find water) when Mark found you. He looked down at you with a single eyebrow raised as his hand laid scratching his bare abdomen.
"I was looking for water" you whispered despite it only being the two of you in his house. "W-water?" he asked, giving you a breathy laugh shortly after asking. Bending down, he scratched the back of his head as he too looked for water.
Blinking the sleep away from his eyes he was met with absolutely no water bottles. "Huh, well" he groaned, picking you up off the floor and setting you on the counter closest to the fridge.
"There's no bottled water for my baby," he said reaching for a glass and filled it up in the sink "but there is tap water"
Holding the glass up to your lips, you tried to grab it from his hand only for the glass to be pulled away from you. "M-mark, I can do it"
His lips formed into a thin line, "Just let me do it"
Sighing, you let him—you did need water after all. "Fine" you huffed, rolling your eyes at him before taking a sip of water.
Mark had an amused smile on his face. He squinted his eyes before pulling away the glass abruptly causing water to spill on your chin. Laughing softly, Mark swiped the fallen water off your chin as he placed the glass in the sink.
His thumb was right on your bottom lip, so dangerously close to your mouth, when everything seemed to stop.
Mark's head whipped over to identify what he felt. "Baby, I-" he stopped.
Were you sucking his thumb?
Fuck—you were sucking his thumb.
Hot.
Letting out a breathy chuckle, he placed all his attention on you. "Oh, I see what you want" he said as he pulled out his thumb and rested his free hand near the back of your neck. "Open your mouth for me"
Licking your lips, you obliged while Mark's index and ring finger entered your mouth. His digits were practically begged to be sucked on. You wrapped your mouth around them, gagging when the tips hit the back of your throat. Mark's eyes were darkening while he watched your cheeks hollow prettily around his fingers. "Jesus Christ" he muttered when you whimpered around him.
Your eyelashes fluttered when you felt your panties grow damper and damper by the second. You wanted to beg Mark to touch you at this point, you would even get on your knees in front of him if that was what it took. But Mark caught sight of your thighs pressing together, rubbing against one another to get at least something.
"Does my baby want me to touch her?" he questioned, pushing his fingers just a tad bit deeper in your mouth. When you nodded oh-so eagerly, Mark immediately shoved the hand that once laid on your neck straight into your pajama shorts.
His finger teased your slit, running his middle finger up and down spreading all of your wetness around. "My baby really wanted me to touch her"
Mark's morning voice made every word he uttered sound like a groan, your mind grew hazy at your realization.
As you sat atop the counter, Mark's fingers dipped inside you. You grabbed onto his arm for support before whining out his name. "Fuck" he muttered under his breath "pussy's so good, can't wait to fuck be inside it"
His words caused you to whimper dangerously close to his ear. "Oh?" he questioned knowingly "Bet your little cunt is dying for my cock".
You held onto his broad shoulders tighter as he continued speaking. "Fuckin' cunt just waiting to be stretched out. You want that though, baby, don't you?"
You nodded a bit too frantically for your liking. In that moment you knew one thing and one thing only, you needed Mark inside you. The way your eyes looked at Mark clearly showed it, if anyone could look at you now they could see the dire need in your eyes.
Your nails dug deeper into his shoulders. You were close—very close at that. Your mouth opened to form words, but nothing but hiccups of syllables came out instead. "Mark~" you were able to cry out "m'gonna cum".
And there was your orgasm, almost hitting you like a wave. Almost.
"Mark" you whined, dragging out the 'a'
"M'sorry, baby" he said pecking your cheeks "But I want you to cum on my cock."
Gripping his shoulders, you made a sound of disapproval. "Just wanna cum" you muttered, pouting as Mark pulled down your pajama shorts and panties before reaching in his sweatpants for his dick.
In all its glory stood Mark's dick. It sprung up to his abdomen, leaking pre-cum. Holding your legs open, Mark rubbed the tip up and down your sopping pussy. His action made you breath hitch.
Taking one good look at your face, Mark pushed in his cock. You made a noise that was a mix of pain and pleasure as you felt your walls accommodate to his size—Mark always liked seeing your face when you realize just exactly how thick his dick actually is.
Letting out a breathless string of his name, your teeth sunk into your bottom lip in an attempt to hide how loud you'd be if you didn't.
"Stop that" he practically barked at you, holding your waist a bit tighter than before. "Wanna hear you. Baby's moans are always so pretty." he complimented with a gushy smile plastered on his face.
Isn't he so charming?
Quickening his pace, you felt your orgasm inch closer and closer. Your chest was heaving up and down as his thrusts slowed, and got deeper. Looking at you with a devilish smile, Mark knew you were close. But he was too.
Your eagerness matched with your fucked out expression could only make Mark shoot you a quick smile before his eyebrows furrowed and he groaned letting all his cum coat your walls.
His hips stuttered. "F-fuck" he cursed "Ah shit, baby. M'gonna cum inside you, you gonna be good and let me cum in you?" You were going to answer him, but your orgasm hit you too soon for you to make a response. A choked moan escape your lips as you mindlessly begged him to cum in you. "M-Mark...Mark, please, pretty please...j-just cum inside me!"
Pulling out, Mark cursed again to himself as he watched his cum spill out of your pussy. He grinned to himself before grabbing a tissue to clean the mess he'd made.
As he helped you down from the counter, you were on the verge of sleep babbling about this and that.
"You looked hot when you mowed a while ago" you spoke sleepily as Mark carried you back to his bed. "Did I?" he questioned with a big grin on his face. "Mhm," you hummed back, confirming your words.
You yawned, "You looked like a hot dad"
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* Happy one month birthday anniversary thing (?) tO MY DEAREST INFANTÉ: @sloppykiths...I love u, accept the gift plis.
{ T4GLiST: @doieclayed @d1nne @sunshinedhyuck @jen0zen @myarchivez @ceoofxiaojun @foul-legasy @luvlyjaemin @busy-namjooning @zhaixiaowen @nctzenjoy97 @chitaphrrrr @chinkyeyeswolf @anvyn @hwazoned @decolonialismxkpop @nctlovesme @heiressworths @ahsshilee-me @seuomo }
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sojuseoltang · 2 days ago
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Y’all are there any (obviously legal) idols that even though they might be attractive you can’t see in a sexual light? I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and I wanna see if there’s any overlaps?
Tell me here
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yutaholic · a month ago
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no guidance (M)
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pairing: Jaehyun (NCT) + you (reader)
genre: knocked up; heavy at times but mostly humor; smut
word count: 19.8k (i am actually happy with this length)
summary: You insist on keeping things casual with Jaehyun, even though he wants something more serious, but then you miss a period and in an instant, your lives are turned completely upside down.
warnings: some cursing; lots of dialogue involving unplanned pregnancy; descriptions of childbirth; explicit sexual content
a/n: listening to no guidance (remix) by ayzha nyree; this is a one-shot, there will be no sequels; check the masterlist in my description for other one-shots in this collection; happy reading!
It’s complicated. That was always how you chose to describe your relationship with Jaehyun.
That being said, you were counting down the minutes until he knocked on your door. You had dragged your feet home after a long day of work and hopped into a hot shower, making sure your legs were freshly shaven for all the action you were about to get.
No sooner had you finished dressing and fixing your hair, there was an impatient knocking at your door and you opened it without hesitation, flirting, “Took you long enough.”
“Traffic is a bitch and speeding is a crime,” Jaehyun retorted, stepping inside and smashing his lips on yours.
You chuckled against his mouth as you threaded your fingers into his dark hair. Jaehyun kicked your door shut behind him and parted from you just long enough to lock it, giving you a brief opportunity to press the wettest of kisses to his neck.
Which did nothing but rile him up.
Not surprising, you didn’t even make it to the bed. Jaehyun hauled you onto the dresser, popped your legs around his waist and entered you with one slow thrust. You let your head fall back and moaned, half-naked with your skirt hiked around your ribs and your panties hanging from your ankle.
At some point in the messy race to your bedroom, you had managed to pull off Jaehyun’s white button-down shirt and he had borderline ripped your tank top. With a toss, your bra landed by the sofa, not far from his pants.
Jaehyun gripped the dresser on opposite sides of your hips and rammed his cock into your wet cunt, setting a hurried pace. His teeth clamped to the bridge of your shoulder, a measure to keep himself from moaning. Fuck, you always wrapped around him so tight.
You fisted a hand in his hair and groaned, “Fuck, Jay.” You loved when he was rough, loved when he just couldn’t hold back anymore. When Jaehyun made love to you, you were on some next level high, but when he fucked you, you swore you could see stars.
The dresser bumped against the wall loudly to a quicker rhythm and you found purchase on Jaehyun’s broad shoulders. Your breath was warm on his neck as you panted, holding him close to you. His pace was hard, but not jarring, and fast enough to steadily coax you toward the edge.
It tempted your lips into a smile; how accustomed your body was to his, how perfectly he fit against you - and inside you. Though years had passed since your first time with Jaehyun (when the two of you fumbled together like the pair of virgins you were), your heart still beat a little quicker, a little heavier.
After all this time, you were convinced that would never change.
You knew you were lucky to have found the closest thing to a soulmate in Jaehyun. He was your best friend, the person you fell asleep thinking about, and the boy who wouldn’t hesitate to be by your side whenever you needed him.
With that thought, you yanked on Jaehyun’s hair and earned a hiss through his teeth. You made him look into your eyes then, pressing your lips softly to his while he fucked you. Jaehyun hummed quietly at the feel of your tongue flicking into his mouth and wrapped his muscled arms around your waist.
You kissed him hotly and purred, “Harder, baby.”
Jaehyun scooped you up in his arms and made for the bed, kicking off his boxers from where they had been slung around his ankles. You made a wanton sound when he shoved you onto the mattress, flipped you over like you weighed nothing, and pushed his stiff cock back into your pussy.
You whimpered, his hand heavy at the base of your neck, and gripped the blankets beneath you for dear life. It was all you could do to arch your back, ass in the air, and take his thrusts. He was out to finish you both hard and fast.
“Bad day?” you managed to tease.
“The worst,” he growled, tightening his grasp on your body and plowing into you.
You weren’t complaining.
Jaehyun didn’t slow his relentless pace until you came with a cry, fisting your hands in the sheets and chanting curses like a mantra. You shivered with release, slumped into the bed, and begged Jaehyun to fill you.
Satisfied, you smirked when Jaehyun stilled abruptly, his cock pulsing and painting your walls with cum. The moan that left his throat was guttural and deep, and made you want to ride the soul out of him.
Jaehyun glanced down, getting one last look of every inch of his cock sheathed inside you, and finally noticed how tightly his fingers were pressed into the soft flesh of your hips. You stayed still and pliant, and the kneading of your sex on his length made his eyes roll back. Jaehyun released a long sigh, sated, and collapsed at your side.
You were panting like you couldn’t quite catch your breath and looked over to see Jaehyun’s chest heaving. Chuckling, you reached over and scraped your nails across his burly chest, teasing over a nipple. Atta boy, you wanted to say.
Eventually, you wobbled to the bathroom and cleaned yourself up, while Jaehyun slipped to your kitchen for a glass of water to wet his dry throat.
After donning your pajamas and situating yourself in bed, Jaehyun returned and made himself comfortable beside you. Draping an arm over your waist and pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of your mouth, Jaehyun asked, “Can I crash here?”
“Of course,” you replied, as if it were obvious.
Jaehyun gave a faux pout and buried his face in the crook of your neck, his question muffled against your skin, “Will you please just be my girlfriend already?”
“I told you, Jay. I don’t have time,” you reminded him, not meaning for the words to come out so bluntly.
Jaehyun grumbled, “But you make time to fuck me.”
You nodded. “Yeah, we agreed to keep things casual. Remember?”
That was debatable and you knew it. Jaehyun had been trying to date you since day one, but you hadn’t been ready for the serious relationship that he was after. He didn’t want to be a fuck buddy, he wanted to be the boyfriend, but he accepted the casual arrangement because it was all you would give him.
“I don’t want to be casual,” Jaehyun spoke up, propping his head on his hand and peering down at you. “I want more.”
You stared up at him in defiance, setting your jaw. You couldn’t understand why he had to rehash this nearly every time you were together. “I can’t give you more. You know that.”
Jaehyun exhaled loudly, slumping forward and resting his head on your shoulder. “It’s not fair. Nothing about this relationship is fair.”
Sensing defeat, you stroked his naked back softly and crooned, “We’re gonna end up together eventually. That’s what we’ve always said and known. Why do you want to slap a label on us now that my career is taking off?”
Jaehyun sat up abruptly, eyes full of anger, and huffed, “I think we should take a break.”
Your heart sank somewhere into your stomach. “What?”
Jaehyun clambered out of your bed and stood to full height, saying, “Yeah, maybe we should think things over and see if this…,” he pointed between you and him, and continued coldly, “Arrangement is the best thing for us.”
You propped up on your elbows and started, “Jaehyun…”
Jaehyun pulled on his jeans and fastened them quickly. “I’m serious. This whole running around and fucking is old. We’re not kids anymore.”
“Yeah, but we’re not boomers either,” you quipped, trying to lighten how heavy the air had become.
His voice was trembling. “I’m tired of forcing something onto you that you don’t want, but I’ve bent over backwards to be whatever you’ve wanted and you’ve never even tried to return the favor. I don’t want to be just sex. It makes me feel like shit.”
You opened your mouth to apologize, but he didn’t let you get a word in.
Jaehyun slipped into his shirt and scolded, “You don’t want to settle down. I get it. But I’m ready and maybe it’s time I found someone on the same page as me. Who wants me for more than just a fuck.”
That hurt. For fuck’s sake, did that wound you like nothing else. You knew this had been broiling, stirring beneath the surface and growing hotter with every night spent together.
You wrapped your arms around yourself, as if a sudden chill had filled the room, and replied softly, “You’re right. I’m sorry. You should be with someone who makes you happy.”
Jaehyun shook his head. He was the epitome of disappointment but not surprise. You didn’t hesitate to choose yourself over him. Every single time. You didn’t even think about it for a second.
Frustrated, Jaehyun spat, “How long are you gonna hide behind that job - acting like this has nothing to do with your self-absorbed fear of commitment? Just admit you don’t wanna be in a relationship because you're selfish!”
You stood, filled with rage, and yelled, “Get the fuck out!”
Though the last thing you wanted him to do was leave, you couldn't let him be right. And you damn sure couldn't let him talk to you like that; like he had even the slightest clue how it felt to be broken and have to put yourself back together again. Piece by fucking piece.
Jaehyun set his jaw, realizing he had gone too far, but was too prideful to admit it. He dug in his heels, sensing he was on the edge of an argument that would leave a massive fracture in your friendship. So, Jaehyun let go a sigh instead.
For your sake - and for how much he loved you - he bowed out.
You watched him grab his phone then storm out of your bedroom. His footsteps were heavy in your living room, collecting the rest of his clothes. A moment later, you heard the front door slam shut and you were safe to sit on the edge of your bed and cry.
Jaehyun hopped into his car and fumbled the keys into the ignition with shaky hands. God, he hated confrontation. He was on the verge of tears and that infuriated him. Why did he want you so badly when you never loved him the way he loved you? He would give up anything just to be with you.
You were greedy. You were selfish. But goddamn if he wasn’t out of his mind in love with you. Hopelessly.
Jaehyun exhaled roughly, releasing his pent up tension, and chastised himself for bringing it up in the first place. He started the car and pulled out of your driveway, knowing he would inevitably come crawling back to you sooner or later.
You gazed out the window, watching his familiar car speed off, and you looked down at your phone. You wanted to call and apologize, but your stubbornness was not to be underestimated.
To hell with him, you told yourself. It’s not like you were being unreasonable.
He was fortunate to have two parents that loved him and loved each other. Not you. Your parents divorced when you were young. To say it was bitter would be an understatement.
Though the wound to your heart had healed, there remained a nasty scar that served as an endless reminder of what happened when two people stopped loving each other.
You bristled at that thought. Jaehyun would never understand. How could he?
Two weeks passed from that night and it was safe to say you were out of your mind.
Jaehyun didn’t call. He didn’t text. You unlocked your phone multiple times a day and looked at his messages.
Nothing.
You had effectively lost your best friend and lover in the same breath. And you had no one to blame but yourself.
Maybe he really was done with you, once and for all. Maybe love did have a limit and you finally found his.
In the two weeks of deafening silence, you realized something - you weren’t ready to live without Jaehyun.
Selfish brat, you told yourself. Jaehyun always tried to meet you halfway, but you didn’t want to give up the freedom of being a single woman. You didn’t want to answer to anybody or be responsible for someone else.
And you didn’t want to hand someone the power to break you.
Jaehyun was right. It really was unfair.
You loved him. He loved you. And yet, you kept him at arm’s length. He deserved to be in a committed, healthy relationship.
Maybe it was time to accept that you deserved that too.
At long last, you swallowed what was left of your dignity and texted him, I’m sorry.
Jaehyun leaned back in his chair at the office, phone in his hand, and smiled faintly. He didn’t expect you to cave first. You were too damn headstrong for that. But alas, here you were.
I forgive you, he texted back and added a heart emoji.
You sighed in relief and replied, I’m stopping by your place after work, but not for sex.
Bummer. I’ll be there.
You put away your phone, resisting a grin. It felt good just to be talking to him again. The past two weeks had felt like years.
After work, you pulled into his driveway and gave the picturesque house a quick scan. Last year, Jaehyun had bought his first home - a two-story traditional style house with a crisp green lawn and a white picket fence.
It was exactly the kind of house everyone expected Jeong Jaehyun to get. You and your friends still lived in apartments. Most of Jaehyun’s friends had yet to give up their lofts or town-homes.
Not Jaehyun. He was clearly ready to settle down.
You stood on the front porch a moment, shuffling your feet and planning your words carefully. Setting your shoulders, you rang the doorbell and waited.
Jaehyun opened the door and immediately grinned to the point his eyes scrunched.
In your hands was a huge bouquet of assorted flowers.
You held out the bouquet to him and quipped, “Normalize giving flowers to boys.”
Jaehyun took the floral arrangement from you, his cheeks flushing a dark crimson, and bowed his head in a gesture of gratitude. “Thank you.”
You knew the gift would melt him on the spot. Jaehyun was a sap for things like that and it was ridiculously endearing.
Jaehyun motioned you inside and you followed him into the kitchen like a shadow. He found an empty vase, which you filled with water, and set his new flowers delicately inside.
Leaning against the kitchen counter, the overhead lights felt too bright. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you asked, “Can we start over?”
Jaehyun ran a hand through his hair. “Sure.”
“Hey, hot stuff,” you joked, deepening your voice.
Jaehyun snorted back a laugh.
You softened and spoke bashfully, “Will you be my boyfriend?”
He frowned. “Are you pranking me?”
“No, I’m serious,” you replied, throwing any and all jokes aside. “You were right. It was unfair. I’ve been so unfair to you, Jaehyun.”
Jaehyun raised a brow, skeptical but over the moon. His heart was fluttering like a bird violently trying to escape its cage. He questioned, “You really wanna do this?”
You shrugged and told him, “I wanna try. All I know is that I want to be with you.”
“Alright,” Jaehyun replied coolly, a playful smile dancing across his lips. “No sex until at least the third date. For gosh sake, buy me dinner first.”
You laughed.
Jaehyun reached out and took your hand, bringing it to his mouth for a kiss. “I’m kidding, of course. When are you free? I wanna take you out.”
“I’m free right now,” you said, slipping comfortably into his arms and rising on your tiptoes to meet his lips. “And I’m starving.”
Jaehyun tightened his arms around you and met you the rest of the way, the kiss soft and sweet, content and familiar. When he’d had his fill, Jaehyun parted to say, “I’m so fucking sorry about the fight. And for what I said. I should have handled it better. I’ve wanted to apologize since the second I said that shit, but I was a coward.”
You replied without missing a beat, “I forgive you.”
Jaehyun overlapped his hands at your lower back, trying not to think about your breasts pressed against him, and murmured, “Thank you for trying.”
You quipped, “Yeah, yeah. I’m gonna try this whole dating thing for you. Don’t hold it against me if I’m really bad at it.”
Jaehyun glided his hands to your hips. “You bought me flowers. You’ve already set the bar pretty damn high.”
You smiled at that, draping your arms across his shoulders and purring, “Can I have another kiss then?”
“Always,” Jaehyun whispered, pressing his lips to yours.
For the next few days, you were on a cloud. You and Jaehyun were like two teenagers dating for the first time. Everything was lovey dovey, heart emojis and awkward flirting and late night phone calls. It had been quite a while since you felt the giddiness that came with puppy love.
Maybe dating wasn’t so bad. It was actually kind of fun.
Jaehyun took you to dinner and a movie. And he never failed to walk you to your door and kiss you goodnight. He spared no expense when splurging on fancy restaurants though you were preferential to eating a simple ice cream cone on the beach with his hand tight around yours.
You may have missed having sex with him, but you appreciated the effort you both were putting into the new relationship. As it turned out, Jaehyun was easy to please. At his core, he was as cliche a romantic as they come. And you found you quite liked feeding that adorable side of him.
Meanwhile, Jaehyun strutted everywhere he went and his coworkers noticed his lighter, bouncier disposition. In Jaehyun’s mind, he was already planning the wedding. Baby steps, of course, but he was on a high that you were finally in a stereotypical relationship with him.
It’s about damn time, he quipped to himself.
And it was all about to come crashing down.
On Saturdays, Jaehyun was off from work. The benefits of having a corporate job, you mused. You still had articles to write and stories to research. Jaehyun didn’t pressure you about spending time with him, but you were counting down the hours until you could call it a day and head over to his house for movie night.
Only this time you were losing restraint.
Something was coming over you. The room felt too hot. You were down to a tank top and shorts. Your mind was like the homepage of a porn site. Every thought and mental image was Jaehyun on top of you or from behind, fucking you into oblivion. You couldn’t stop thinking about sex no matter how hard you tried.
“What the fuck,” you groaned, taking a gulp of water and pulling out your phone. You scrolled through photos, finding ones of Jaehyun shirtless in your bed. The two of you used to play around during hookups, taking photos on extra steamy occasions.
One of you straddling his naked waist and wearing his dress shirt loosely buttoned over your torso made your mouth water. You couldn’t take it anymore.
You quickly texted him, Can I come over?
His reply was fast, Little early. Did you get your work done?
Pulling on your shoes, you typed back, I need to see you.
So your articles aren’t done?
Fuck the articles. I want to see your dumb face.
Jaehyun chortled at that, reading your text more than once. Come over then.
Fifteen minutes later, you were ringing the doorbell, standing on his front porch.
Jaehyun opened it after a moment, a towel slung across his shoulders.
“Hey, you,” you greeted with a smile. Heat was still radiating down your neck and behind your cheeks.
“Hey, yourself,” replied Jaehyun, standing aside and waving you in.
You stepped inside and slipped off your shoes, waiting for him to shut the door before asking, “Is this a bad time?”
He shook his head. “Nah, I just got back from the gym a few minutes ago. What’s up?”
I noticed, you almost said. Damn, he looked good. Sweaty and flushed. You were a bitch in heat. “I have perfect timing,” you joked, rubbing your arm anxiously. “Can I be honest with you?”
Jaehyun fixed you with a stern look and said, “Always.”
Your eyes couldn’t stay still. Sweat left a sheen on his perfect skin, making your tongue shift in your mouth. The muscle tee he wore left his thick arms on display, taut and bulging. The veins in his hands were even more prominent than usual from the exertion and you were imagining those hands clamped on your waist.
Focus, you chided yourself. For the love of god.
“Okay, then,” you started. “I’m just gonna come out with it.”
Jaehyun’s brow furrowed. “What is eating at you?”
Goddamn, had a man ever looked so delicious? You were prepared to devour him whole.
Instead, you rambled, “I know we were on a break and we agreed to start over and take things slow. And let the record show I am really enjoying this new relationship thing.”
Jaehyun prompted, “But?”
“I wanna fuck.”
Jaehyun’s lips upticked into a smirk. “Oh?”
You forsook whatever pride you had left and moved closer to him. “I need to fuck. I swear, Jaehyun. I’m so horny I can’t think straight.”
His mouth broke into the widest grin. “Wow.”
You closed the rest of the distance between your bodies and hid your face beneath his jaw, whispering, “Please. I’m just thinking about that thick cock and fuck it, I’m so wet right now.”
Jaehyun pulled the towel hanging from his shoulders and flirted darkly, “You have my attention, baby.”
“Thank god,” you groaned, pressing your lips to his sweaty neck and breathing in the musky scent of him. “Please stick your dick in me.”
“How romantic,” he droned, amusement filling his eyes.
You leaned back and whined, “Jaehyun.”
He chuckled, slipping an arm around your waist and pulling you flush against him again. “I’m kidding. You need some dick, huh?”
You roamed your hands under his shirt to his chiseled abs and purred, “Not any dick - your dick. And yes, I need it bad. If you want me to beg, I am ready to beg.”
“Tempting,” Jaehyun rumbled, brushing past your hip to grip a handful of your ass. Then, he said, “Bedroom.”
You turned and ran, galloping up the adjacent stairs. Jaehyun gave chase, clearing two steps at a time. You caught sight of the open bedroom and cried out when Jaehyun gathered you in his arms, though you knew he could catch you with ease.
Jaehyun carried you into the bedroom and set you down just shy of the bed, getting a fistful of your hair and colliding his lips with yours. He was hungry. Nothing made him harder than being needed and craved.
You moaned into his mouth, tearing off his shirt and setting your fingertips into the hot flesh of his shoulders. You couldn’t resist parting from his mouth to bring your lips to his neck, traveling down and across his collarbone with your tongue.
Jaehyun grunted, his cock viscerally aware of your warm body pressed against it in the loose confines of his gym shorts. He grasped the hem of your shirt, pulling up and over your head, and unclasped your bra without a moment to waste.
You were ravenous, cradling his head with both hands and kissing him with abandon. Jaehyun made a sound, surprised and pleased at your urgency, and cupped your perky breasts in his palms.
What has gotten into her? he thought with delight. Though your hunger for him was nothing new, this felt heavier. It was primal and aggressive.
When Jaehyun rubbed his thumbs over your nipples, you broke from his lips and growled, “Touch me and feel for yourself how badly I want you.”
Jaehyun locked eyes with you and coaxed a hand into your pants, cupping your sex. Surprise quickly flashed across his face. “Jesus, you’re soaked.”
You licked your lips, arching into his hand with need. Then, your lips parted in a gasp when Jaehyun crooked a finger into your pussy.
Jaehyun brought his lips to your ear and whispered, “And you’re pulsing, baby.”
“I know,” you whined, steadying yourself by gripping his arms.
Jaehyun pulled back to look into your face and said, “It hasn’t even been a month.”
You glowered, feigning anger. “Don’t make fun of me.”
Jaehyun chortled huskily in his throat and his voice was deeper when he said, “I will later, but for now, strip and get on my bed.”
You didn’t need to be told twice.
Naked, you crawled backwards on the mattress until your shoulders met the headboard. Jaehyun pried off his shorts and boxers, and came on hands and knees toward you, erect cock curving toward his abs. He kissed a scorching path up your bare thigh and teased his fingers through your slit, shaking his head at your arousal.
When Jaehyun grabbed your ankles and dragged you closer, not satisfied until you were flat on your back, you asked, “Can we do that one position?”
Jaehyun made himself comfortable between your legs, pumping his hard cock with your slick. “Which one?”
“This,” you started, draping your legs on his thighs and reaching down as best you could to rest your hands on the top of his knees. “I have no idea why I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“Sure,” Jaehyun said offhandedly, his mouth watering at the sight of your dripping cunt so close to his dick. “Just let me open you up first.”
“Ugh, don’t talk like that.”
Jaehyun steered the head of his cock into your entrance and snorted. “I wasn’t even trying to be sexy. You’re hopeless.”
You ran a hand into your hair and whined, “I’m a mess.”
“Not yet, but you will be,” Jaehyun retorted, gathering your hips in his hands.
“There’s my boy,” you sang.
Jaehyun fought a smile and shifted his gaze back to where your bodies connected, steadily pushing inside until he was fully seated within you. You let out the breath you’d been holding, a moan releasing on your exhale with pleasure at finally being filled.
“Good girl,” Jaehyun praised almost inaudibly, rocking into you and shuddering at the scalding heat of your body gloved around his cock.
You lay there for what felt like an eternity. Jaehyun sped up and throttled you on the bed, then slowed his pace and let you feel every inch of his strokes before speeding up again. He touched your thighs, your hips, your waist; his touch sometimes rough, sometimes gentle. His fingers pressed into your clit, brushed your nipples, and locked around your throat.
When Jaehyun caressed a thumb tenderly over your bottom lip, his cock sinking in and out of your tight pussy, he whispered, “Tell me you love me. Even if it’s a lie. I need to hear it.”
You gazed up at him, stars shining in your eyes, and said, “I love you, Jaehyun.”
He blinked, slowing his movements.
“I would never lie about something like that,” you confessed, voice tender.
Jaehyun simpered and leaned in to kiss you. “I’ve always loved you,” he spoke in your ear.
I know, you thought to yourself, sinking your fingers into his back and trapping him to you.
Jaehyun left you satisfied and sore, and when you’d both slumped into the mattress with exhaustion, he couldn’t help but take you in his arms and cover your neck in kisses. You giggled at the affection, tangling your arms and legs through his.
“So, not to be that guy,” Jaehyun began nonchalantly. “But this sounds hormonal.”
You nodded as you pulled on your shirt. “Yeah.”
“You get horny as fuck around your period, but never like this.”
The words were like ice in your veins. Your heart promptly vacated its place in your chest and crammed itself in your throat. It felt like the floor had just been ripped out from under you. Sitting up sharply, head spinning, your eyes were wide. “Oh… oh god.”
Jaehyun clocked a glance at you. “What?”
“My period.”
Jaehyun furrowed his brows in confusion.
“I haven’t had a period,” you said shakily.
Jaehyun’s face was emotionless, but his pulse was thundering like a shock of adrenaline had seized him. “Since?” he asked.
“Last month? Maybe?” You were beginning to devolve and exclaimed, “Oh my god, I can’t remember!”
“Shit,” Jaehyun huffed, leaping out of bed and snatching his pants.
“What are you doing?” you asked in a panic, watching him dress.
Jaehyun replied, “We can’t go to the store naked and we gotta get a pregnancy test.”
You followed his lead and crossed the room, pulling on your pants. In the midst of your frantic movements, you asked, “How is your brain working right now?”
Jaehyun grabbed his wallet and pushed it into the back pocket of his jeans, saying, “Well, one of us has to.”
You froze in place, covering your face with both hands and slumping to the edge of his bed. “Jaehyun, I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I think I’m having a heart attack.”
Jaehyun crouched down before you and took your hands between his warm palms. “Stop. Stop. Stop,” he cooed, but his tone was firm. “Take a deep breath. I’ll drive.”
You nodded and let him hoist you up.
Jaehyun drove calmly despite the gravity of the situation. Matter of fact, he was rather calm overall. He was sporting his trademark poker face, hiding the swirling storm of emotions within.
Regardless, you found yourself relaxing thanks to his stone cold tranquility. Mulling it over, you said, “I’ve been so busy with work. I lost track of my cycle. The stress must have made me skip.”
“That’s probably it. Don’t panic,” Jaehyun consoled. His thoughts were racing.
At the nearest pharmacy, Jaehyun held your hand tight and you followed him like a lost puppy. He grabbed a box of pregnancy tests and only let go of your hand to pay with his credit card. You stared at him in wonder, wanting to cry that you had him to rely on during this little crisis.
You returned to his house and headed straight for the bathroom. Jaehyun was courteous enough to bring you a bottle of water and told you he would be on the sofa if you needed him.
It was your first time peeing on a stick and your aim left much to be desired. Given there were a total of three tests in the pack, you figured what the hell and decided to use them all, just to be sure. By the third one, your aim improved.
After washing your hands, you set the tests in a line on the sink and stared, waiting for something. The silence was agonizing and you bounced on your toes with impatience. The rest of your life was hanging in the balance of these damned little pee sticks.
Opening the door, you called out, “They don’t say anything yet.”
Jaehyun appeared, looking paler than usual, and said, “Let’s grab a snack. Give them time to do their thing.”
You followed him into the kitchen and complained, “Do they have to take so long? Hasn’t medical advancement come far enough for instant results?”
Jaehyun glanced over his shoulder at you and joked, “Even instant ramen isn’t instant. Adjust your expectations.”
You snickered. Then, your face fell as you turned somber. “Thank you for making me laugh in this terrifying moment.”
Jaehyun offered a smile. “You’re welcome.”
You shared a bag of chips with him on the couch, stealing glances at the digital clock on his end table. Though the time was more than sufficient, you were avoiding it.
Jaehyun sank a little deeper into the couch and asked, “How long has it been?”
“Ten minutes. Give or take.”
He reached over and squeezed your hand. “It’s time.”
You bobbed your head. Your body was trembling with nerves.
Jaehyun walked with you to the bathroom like a creature inside was prepared to swallow you whole.
Once at the door, you whirled around to face him and whimpered, “I can’t look, Jay. I can’t. Please.”
Jaehyun studied you. Never had he seen you so terrified and it made his heart sore. He wanted to fix everything, wanted to do anything to make you smile again. With a nod, he stepped into the bathroom and you waited, rooted in place.
When he came out, Jaehyun took your hands. “I want you to take a deep breath.”
You searched his face. “Okay.”
Jaehyun paused, completely devoid of expression again, and finally said, “They’re all positive.”
Your whole body went slack, like every drop of your blood had left you in an instant. Your head felt light. The floor was spinning. Fainting was imminent.
“Baby,” Jaehyun called. “Deep breath.”
You shook your head, resistant.
“Okay,” Jaehyun said, seeing you sway where you stood. “We’re gonna move to the couch now.”
At his guidance, you sat down slowly on his sofa, contemplating your entire existence as you realized a potential tiny human was currently sharing your body.
Jaehyun fell back against the couch. The two of you simply sat there for god knows how long, minds racing at hyperspeed with the millions of thoughts that came with those three positive pee sticks.
Ultimately, you gathered some of your bearings and questioned aloud, “How did this happen?”
Jaehyun asked levelly, “Did you stop taking your birth control pills?”
You spoke in a hurry, unnerved, “No. No, Jaehyun. I swear to god. I’ve never missed a single one.”
That worried him and his reply was severe, “Then, you need to go to the doctor right away.”
“I know. Will you… go with me?”
Jaehyun turned to you. “You want me to?”
Your face tensed with tears and moisture weighed down your words, “Yeah, I’m - I am so scared right now.”
Jaehyun softened, hooking an arm around your shoulders and tugging you close. “I’ll go with you.”
The next day (and one very sleepless night) later, you were sitting in a cold exam room. You could hardly believe your ears when your primary care physician was able to work you into their schedule after hearing your concerns.
Jaehyun sat in the corner of the stark white room, elbows propped on his knees, wringing his hands. An anatomical diagram of the female reproductive system was framed above him. The irony almost made you laugh. Almost.
Doctor Grant came in, offering a wide smile as she always did, and greeted you by name politely. You introduced Jaehyun, who stood out of respect and shook her outstretched hand.
Opening your file and clicking her pen at the ready, Doctor Grant asked, “What brings you in today?”
“Well, doc,” you began, gripping the edge of the exam table beneath you. Its surface was ice cold under your rear. “My period is a couple weeks late and I took three home pregnancy tests. They were all positive.”
She glanced at your chart and jotted something down. “Are you still taking the oral contraceptives?”
You nodded. “Yes, and that’s what has me so freaked out. I’ve never missed a pill.”
Doctor Grant met your eyes and spoke soothingly, “Okay, well, nothing a quick blood test won’t answer. We’ll also take another urine sample, too. Standard procedure.”
You bit your lip and fiddled with your thumbs in your lap. “Is there a chance I’m really pregnant?”
Doctor Grant asked, “Have you been sexually active?”
Given the presence of your handsome albeit petrified boyfriend in the room beneath the uterus diagram, it was a rhetorical question. “Yes.”
She replied firmly, “Then, yes. There’s a chance.”
You looked at Jaehyun, finding his face vacant.
There was a short bout of silence as Doctor Grant flipped through your chart again, clearly searching for something. Though records were electronic now, she was set in her old-fashioned ways and preferred paper files when interacting with patients and charting their concerns.
When she found what she was looking for, Doctor Grant said, “I see you came in two months ago for a separate issue.”
You grimaced. “Yes, I had that god-awful stomach flu for a week.”
“I remember,” she murmured, nodding her head. “You had recurrent vomiting for a few days?”
“Yes.”
Doctor Grant made a face. “Did you use alternate forms of birth control around that time? Condoms?”
You furrowed your brows. “No. Why?”
“You more than likely threw up your birth control pills.”
You frowned.
Jaehyun spoke up, “We didn’t have sex when she was sick.” He turned to you and added, “You could barely get out of bed.”
“Birth control pills affect implantation,” Doctor Grant explained. “A few days without them and your body is more hospitable for a fertilized egg. Plus you could have been ovulating at that time, which as you know, is your most fertile period.”
“Which would explain why I jumped right back into the saddle when I was feeling better,” you groaned with a disappointed shake of your head. “Metaphorically speaking.”
Jaehyun fought a chortle. You were notoriously horny around your period, but during your peak fertile days, you couldn’t stop begging him to fill you up.
Doctor Grant continued, “It could have been a perfect storm of factors.”
You resorted to humor again to feel like less of an idiot. “Does it say puking messes with the pills somewhere on the box or can I hire a lawyer and sue them for all they’re worth?”
Doctor Grant chuckled. “Oh, it definitely says on the packets that come with every set that there are many things capable of interfering with the effectiveness of oral contraceptives. It’s rare, but they covered all of their bases.”
“Great,” you deadpanned.
Doctor Grant stood, tucking your file into the bend of her arm. “Alright, the nurse will be in here to collect some blood. Then, we’ll have you go to the bathroom and give a urine sample.”
“Sure thing, Doctor Grant. Thank you.”
The door shut behind her and once it clicked, you immediately turned to Jaehyun. “I might really be pregnant.”
His voice was faint, distant. “Yeah.”
“Stomach flu,” you barked in consternation. “Really?”
“Who knew?”
You huffed, “Clearly not me. I couldn’t wait to hop on your dick again when I stopped puking my brains out.”
Jaehyun spoke up, “I should have warned you that you were ovulating. All the signs were there.”
You narrowed your eyes, a smirk playing on your lips. “You can tell when I’m ovulating?”
Jaehyun fought a mischievous grin, mind filling with explicit images of you. He was tempted to remind you just how many years you had been intimate together, but instead, he murmured, “Oh, yeah. I know your body very well.”
“Mm.”
The room was suddenly full of tension. The pleasant kind. Which was a much higher preference to the smothering pressure of worry.
Jaehyun helped you pass the time. He was always easy to talk to. It was better to forget about the anxiety and anticipation. You felt like a frayed string, being pulled this way and that. Your nerves were shot at this point.
You just wanted to know for sure if your life was about to change forever.
After getting your blood drawn by the nurse and peeing in a cup in the bathroom, time lost all meaning. You were sitting in a haze of eternal waiting. Your head was foggy and your chest was tight.
Jaehyun stood between your dangling legs and held you in a hug. You were comforted by the warmth of his body against yours, warding off the sharp cold of the exam room, and the soft press of his lips on your temple. With your arms around him, he was your anchor to the world.
When Doctor Grant returned, Jaehyun parted from you reluctantly and you held his hand in a silent gesture to keep him standing next to you.
Taking her seat and smiling brightly, Doctor Grant announced, “Both your urine test and blood work were positive.”
You blinked. “I’m pregnant?”
“You’re pregnant.”
The room was spinning wildly now. Up until that point, you could take the positive pregnancy tests and missing period with a grain of salt like any woman in denial. Now, you knew beyond a reasonable doubt that there was a baby inside you. “Wow. Okay.”
Doctor Grant proceeded, “Given the timeline we discussed earlier, it’s possible you’re eight to ten weeks along. Would you like a preliminary ultrasound?”
“Uh…,” you hesitated, searching for words. “Yes, that would be great.”
“At this stage in your pregnancy, a traditional abdominal ultrasound would more than likely be inconclusive so we would need to do it transvaginally.”
Jaehyun asked with worry, “What does that mean?”
Doctor Grant answered like any seasoned physician, “We insert it into the vagina and should be able to get a clear picture of the embryo.”
Jaehyun’s eyes widened slightly. “You’re gonna put a machine in her…”
“Vagina,” Doctor Grant finished, understanding his confusion. “It’s more or less a camera if you think about it.”
“I don’t want to think about it,” Jaehyun murmured, his cheeks reddening. He could only imagine how much that would hurt.
“Let’s do it,” you said, needing every last shred of evidence before your brain would accept this new reality. “I’m no stranger to having big things in my vagina, obviously.”
Jaehyun glowered. “Very funny.”
An hour later, you were in the passenger seat of Jaehyun’s car, looking down at a weird little black and white picture of your baby.
Baby.
This early in the pregnancy it was vaguely shaped. But the little flicker of a heartbeat was unmistakable. You had latched onto that. Even now, it was still thumping in your ears.
Approximately eight weeks pregnant, Doctor Grant’s words echoed in your mind - It’s about the size of a bean. That had made you chuckle through the threat of tears. What a cute thing to say, you had thought.
The car was eerily quiet. Jaehyun had forgotten to put on some music or turn on the radio. He couldn’t believe it. An actual baby. Bean-sized apparently.
He was going to be a father.
Sure, it was his dream to come home after a hard day of work to you, his wife, and a few tiny humans, but the timeline was a little fucked.
He still couldn’t wrap his mind around it. Jaehyun checked you again from the corner of his eye. You looked no different and yet, somewhere inside your belly his baby was growing.
Jaehyun pulled into your driveway and put the car in park. “Are you okay?”
Your gaze was on the little picture in your hands. “No thoughts. Head empty,” you replied, but it was a far cry from the truth. Your mind was pure insanity.
“You sure you don’t want me to stay the night?”
You turned to him and placated him with a faint smile. “I’m honestly just gonna go to bed. I’m tired. I may take a hot bath first, but that’s it.”
Jaehyun sighed. He hated the idea of leaving you alone, but you needed time to think.
Time to decide.
He wanted you to rest and relax. To let a hot bath and some peaceful quiet dissipate the last of your nerves. You looked exhausted. Waiting for a definitive answer had taken its toll on you.
“Will you promise to call me the second you change your mind? I don’t mind staying over so you’re not alone,” he pressed.
“Yes, I promise. Thank you.”
Jaehyun blinked, like it had fully dawned on him. “I got you pregnant. I… put a baby in you.”
You nodded tiredly. “Yeah, you did.”
Jaehyun reached over and took your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “No pressure on your decision. Whatever you decide, I will support you.”
You swallowed the lump in your throat and took his hand between your palms, clinging to him tightly. “I know that, but thank you for saying it.”
Jaehyun studied you. He was hinged on your every word at this point.
You snorted. “This just goes to show you can do everything right, take plenty of precautions, and still get pregnant.”
Jaehyun said nothing. The air around him was cold and heavy.
You became somber, biting your lip as the silence threatened to smother you. “She said I’m early enough I could… terminate with pills instead of something more invasive.”
Jaehyun nodded. He was there when Doctor Grant detailed all the options. He was prepared for either route. You were carrying all of the weight on your shoulders and it was up to him to be a rock beneath you that didn’t bend or break.
Maybe under different circumstances you would have chosen to end it. But this was Jaehyun. And more importantly, this was Jaehyun’s baby. You had made a baby together, as Doctor Grant put it, in a perfect storm of factors. You almost respected your little bean’s tenacity.
You glanced down at your unchanged stomach. Even though you looked exactly the same, you had never felt so different. Jaehyun’s baby was in there somewhere. Would it have his pretty eyes? Maybe his adorable dimples?
Turning to Jaehyun, you asked softly, “Would I sound crazy if I said I want to keep it?”
He perked up a little. “Really?”
“Yeah,” you started, a little relieved to have said it aloud. “I mean, I always imagined us married and boring when we had kids.”
To hear that you pictured a future with him and that the picture you painted was very similar to the one he’d always wanted for the both of you, made Jaehyun capable of flight. “Me, too,” was all he could say. Emotions were tugging at his heartstrings.
“We made this baby together, Jaehyun,” you said, trembling.
Jaehyun reached for you, bringing you close to him until your foreheads touched.
Closing your eyes, you whispered, “I’m choosing to have this baby with you.”
Jaehyun leaned into you, the air whooshing out of his lungs. “I love you,” he rasped, holding you so tightly he feared he might break you in his arms.
You cradled his face and pressed your lips to his. After a moment, you pulled back and whispered, “Tell me everything is going to be okay.”
Jaehyun replied without hesitation, “Everything is going to be okay. I’ll make sure of it.”
You bit your lip, fighting back the tears though they were quick to escape and roll down your cheeks. The weight on your shoulders was heavy, but not unbearable now that you knew you weren’t carrying it all by yourself.
Jaehyun walked you to your front door, as always. “I’m just a phone call away, baby,” he reminded.
“Thank you,” you replied, reluctant to go inside and leave him. But you craved a moment to yourself. A hot cup of tea, an even hotter bath, and a few rounds of your favorite playlist would ground you and seep some strength back into your bones.
Jaehyun, on the other hand, desperately wanted not to be alone and just before pulling out of your driveway, he sent two texts.
Ten marched into the living room, looking particularly disheveled like he had been dragged unwillingly from a party. “What’s the deal?”
Behind him, Johnny chimed, “Yeah, it sounded serious.”
“Don’t get me wrong, we love seeing you,” Ten continued.
Johnny finished that thought. “But this wasn’t something that could be done in a phone call?”
Jaehyun strode to his coffee table, grabbed something the pair of boys couldn’t see, then turned around and held it up.
Ten and Johnny gawked at the ultrasound photo.
“I’m gonna be a father,” Jaehyun announced, his voice level.
“What?” Ten exclaimed in disbelief.
Johnny grabbed the photo, looking it over. He even tilted it from side to side. “Yep, that’s an embryo.”
Ten snatched the photo from him roughly and smarted, “Thank you for your contribution.”
Jaehyun made for the sofa, collapsing in a heap.
Johnny followed him, asking, “How did this happen?”
Ten seized the opportunity and teased, “When dick meets cunt…”
Johnny knew he walked right into that one and interjected loudly, “I know how it happened, obviously. But did you guys plan this?”
Jaehyun snapped, “Of course, we didn’t plan it!”
“Hey, cut me some slack. I’m not the one that had sex with you,” Johnny defended, surprised by the outburst.
Jaehyun simmered. “I couldn’t even get her to be my girlfriend, for fuck’s sake.”
Johnny winced. “I forgot.”
Ten finally finished looking over the sonogram and eagerly joined the pair on the couch. “You guys are basically married at this point. You’ve been together for years.” He turned to his roommate and asked, “How long do you have to be together for the government to basically consider you spouses?”
Johnny shrugged and replied, “I think five years?”
“The hell if I know,” Ten snipped. Then, he wiggled his eyebrows. “When are you gonna put a ring on me, Daddy?”
Johnny deadpanned, “I have a cock ring in my underwear drawer. Does that count?”
Ten giggled.
Jaehyun hung his head in his hands. Ten and Johnny were a great distraction, but even they couldn’t cut through Jaehyun’s state of mind. “This is not how I planned on bringing my kid into the world,” he mumbled sadly.
Johnny and Ten exchanged glances, silently confirming to each other that the time for jokes was over.
Patting his friend on the shoulder, Johnny consoled, “I know. It’s gonna be okay. You can do this.”
Jaehyun shook his head. “She won’t even… stay with me.”
“That’s about to change,” Ten asserted, rolling his eyes at your stubbornness.
Jaehyun sighed.
Ten changed his tone. “Listen, have her move in with you.”
While Johnny nodded his agreement, Jaehyun said, “She won’t go for it.”
Ten bristled and his snark flared, “Then, tell her that you made this baby together and it’s just as much yours as it is hers.”
“I don’t want to fight,” Jaehyun replied morosely. “I just want us to be a family. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
Johnny frowned, saddened by the condition of his friend’s heart, and asked, “Have you told her that?”
“I’ve tried.”
Johnny clocked a glance at Ten and grumbled, “He still hates confrontation.”
“I sure as hell don’t,” Ten sneered, pulling out his phone. A few seconds later, he said, “Hey, you. I’m coming over.”
“Okay?” you questioned.
Then, he hung up.
You had just finished your glorious hot bath and were about to crawl into bed by the time Ten knocked on your door.
“Hi, sunshine,” he greeted, hugging you warm and tight.
“Jaehyun told you,” you stated blandly.
“A baby,” Ten said in stride, strutting into your apartment like he owned it. Which was nothing new. Ten saw the entire world as his own personal playground. “Wow.”
“Yeah.”
Ten folded his arms. “Start packing your shit.”
You blinked in surprise. “What?”
“You’re moving in with Jaehyun.”
You rolled your eyes and chided, “Jaehyun hasn’t asked me to move in with him.”
Ten followed you as you made for the kitchen and barked, “He’s wanted to ask you for months - probably years - and now you have no excuse. This whole wanting to do everything yourself stops with a baby.”
You set two tea cups on the counter and began, “Ten, I can’t just…”
But Ten was adamant and cut you off, “Pack your shit.”
You relented. “Okay.”
Ten thanked you when you slid a hot cup of tea toward him. “And act surprised when Jaehyun asks you.”
You held the cup to your lips, blowing the hot steam away, and murmured, “I’ve wanted to live with him for a while.”
Ten piqued at that. He leaned coolly against your counter and arched a brow. “Really?”
You nodded and after a sip of tea that scorched its way down your throat pleasantly, you responded, “Yes. I’ve been letting him keep more and more of his stuff here. And I have things at his house. I thought I was giving enough signs. Then, we had that stupid fight.”
“Honey, I think the moment you told him you wanted to keep things casual he thought you only wanted him for his dick.”
You slumped in defeat. “I fucked up. I know that.”
Ten retorted, “Glad you know it.”
You scoffed. Regardless of his chastisements, Ten was consistently reliable as a good and trustworthy friend. “We’ve been trying to do the whole dating thing for like two weeks now,” you mentioned after a pause.
“I know,” Ten groaned, feigning annoyance. “He will not shut up about it. I’ve never seen him so happy.”
Your smile faded into a frown and you spoke under your breath, “I guess that’s blown to hell now.”
Ten gave you a nudge. “Not hardly.”
The two of you chatted for a little while longer, but the exhaustion of the day’s events put a damper on your energy. “Listen, Ten. I love you, but it’s late and I really need to sleep.”
“Fine. I’ll ease up,” he replied, giving you a kiss on the cheek, which you returned.
First thing in the morning, you called your boss to let him know you were under the weather and had no intention of leaving your bed for the day. Which was true. He was perfectly understanding and wished you well, though he did curtly remind you of your deadlines that still needed to be met. As to be expected.
What you didn’t expect was a knock at the door not long after and Jaehyun standing on the other side.
“Jaehyun, what are you…,” you started, but before you could finish, Jaehyun breezed past you into the apartment.
“I want you to move in with me and before you say no, hear me out.”
You shut the door and swiveled around toward him. “Jay…”
His words were a mile a minute, a testament to just how long he had been rehearsing them in his head, “I’ve wanted to live with you for years. Obviously I was hoping we would be married by now, but that’s beside the point.”
You tried to interject, “Jaehyun.”
He persisted, “I get that you want to be successful on your own and you have your own dreams. They mean a lot to you. No one respects you and your drive more than I do, and I’m so damn proud of you.”
You smiled. “Thank you.”
“But there’s no reason for us not to live together. None. Zero,” Jaehyun continued flatly, getting winded. “We should have done this a long time ago and with a baby on the way, it just makes sense.”
“I know,” you said with a nod.
Jaehyun didn’t hear you. His voice rose slightly, passionate. “And I’ll be damned if you think you’re gonna raise my kid for a single second by yourself. You and that tiny bean are the loves of my life. Damn it, I’m moving in here!”
You were grinning from ear to ear now and simply replied, “Okay.”
“And if you…,” Jaehyun huffed, then stopped, bewildered. “Wait a minute. What?”
“I agree. We should have moved in together a long time ago.”
“Oh.”
You chuckled.
Jaehyun scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “That was easy.”
You ambled toward him and crooned, “But I don’t think moving into my place is the best fit. You have a spare bedroom. We can turn it into a nursery.”
“Yeah, a nursery,” Jaehyun stammered, heart fluttering at the thought. “Wow. Like a room for our baby.”
You wrapped your arms around his waist and peered up into his beautiful eyes, which currently sparkled with glee. “Yes, that’s generally what a nursery is,” you teased lightly.
Jaehyun smoothed his hand down your back and smiled at the way you were looking at him. “We’re officially having a baby.”
“Mm-hm,” you hummed.
“And you’re moving in with me.”
You quipped, “Yep. According to Kanye’s crazy ass, I got you for eighteen years.”
Jaehyun had no clue what song you were referencing nor did he care. He was too swept up in happiness. Pressing his lips to your brow, he said, “You’re gonna have me a lot longer than that, baby.”
You shrugged. “I ain’t mad about it.”
“I love you,” Jaehyun whispered, his breath warm on your cheek.
You flushed. When he spoke those three little words, fire lit through your veins and kindled inside your chest. “I love you too,” you told him somberly. “And I’m sorry. I know you had this all planned out and we really went out of order.”
Jaehyun mimicked your shrug. “I ain’t mad about it.”
You giggled.
Rather than steal a kiss, Jaehyun lingered his attention on your face, searching for any sign of discomfort. “You okay?”
You nestled deeper into his arms and almost rolled your eyes that nothing got past him where you were concerned. “I’m a little overwhelmed at the moment, I guess,” you revealed shyly.
“Tell me what you need,” Jaehyun said, the octaves of his voice dropping.
You were speaking to the man who had seen you naked and gotten you pregnant. For the life of you, you would never understand why you were embarrassed to ask, “Can we just… cuddle for a while?”
Jaehyun softened. “We can cuddle for as long as you want.”
And so you did. You had no intention of leaving the bed that day anyway.
You cuddled. You cried. You were a tiny boat in a brewing storm of feelings and Jaehyun was your anchor.
You kissed. You made love. Jaehyun promised to protect you all the days of your life. And when he ran out of words, he seared his promises into your skin with his lips.
Days like this were few and far between, days when you didn’t know where you ended and Jaehyun began. Where you felt like two complete halves of the same whole, meant to find each other again.
And now you were both bound together forever by a baby.
Over the next few days, Jaehyun helped you break the lease at your apartment and paid for movers to pack and transport all of your things to his house.
The first trimester left without incident. You counted yourself lucky to have very few negative symptoms thus far. Aside from sore, tender breasts and one or two bouts of morning sickness (that obnoxiously occurred in the evenings), you were far too distracted by the new life you and Jaehyun were making together to really notice.
The two of you cleared out his plain guest room, intent on adding some color and getting far more paint on each other than the actual walls. You mutually settled on a soft golden shade of yellow, reminiscent of sunflowers. Jaehyun couldn’t hide his excitement at picking out baby furniture and bought you something at every store you went with him, despite your protests.
You brought him tea while he assembled the crib and when it was done, you cried. It seemed with every new addition to the house, the more it sank in that you were pregnant. Jaehyun held you close and rubbed your arm, accustomed to your hormonal mood swings as best he could be.
Waking up in bed with Jaehyun had an effect on you. Domesticity came easier than expected. This was your house, your bedroom. He had his side of the mattress and you had yours. Just like the closet and bathroom attached to the bedroom.
Every morning when you first woke up, you dragged your feet to the bathroom to pee. Then you approached the mirror, lifted your shirt, and looked at your belly. You turned this way and that, rubbing the growing bump. Sometimes you would shake your head in disbelief that there was a tiny human growing inside you.
And the more it grew, the more you just couldn’t stop touching and caressing that belly.
To say nothing of Jaehyun. He couldn’t keep his hands off of you. Your sex drive was still like wildfire at the most inconvenient of times and it was all he could do to keep up with you. Though seeing you swell with his baby certainly helped. He had never felt more virile.
Jaehyun appeared tiredly in the doorway of the bathroom, a fond smile breaking through his sleepy daze.
You turned to him, grinning, and exclaimed, “There really is a baby in there.”
He nodded, chuckling. She’s glowing, he thought sweetly to himself.
You let out a giggle and then put your shirt down, reaching for your toothbrush.
Jaehyun joined you, the two of you brushing your teeth and resisting the urge to make faces at each other in the mirror. It was obvious Jaehyun couldn’t keep his attention from drifting to your stomach or your breasts, which had also grown considerably since entering the second trimester.
After washing your face and preparing to put on makeup for another day at work, Jaehyun came up behind you and tugged up your shirt, roaming his hands over your exposed stomach.
“I have a couple big meetings today so if you need me, send a text,” Jaehyun said, pressing a kiss to the base of your neck.
“Okay,” you said, applying moisturizer to your face. “Is it the new clients?”
“Yeah, they want a full breakdown of the system,” Jaehyun replied blithely, almost sounding bored. His touch was the opposite. Fire was licking out from his chest and his hands were rough.
You knew he was in the mood, but you were feigning indifference. Teasing him was fun. Lately you were the one to always instigate sex, due to the state of your hormones, which was why knowing your changing body sent Jaehyun into arousal did nothing but inflame you.
“You have to leave soon, babe,” you sighed, eyes fluttering with the way Jaehyun nipped at your neck.
Jaehyun growled in your ear, “We have enough time.”
You said nothing, but you leaned into his touches and promptly steered his hands to your sensitive breasts.
Jaehyun made a pleased noise, cupped your mounds, and said, “Your boobs are huge.”
“I know,” you laughed.
And the next thing you knew, you were on your back in bed, giggling as Jaehyun’s lips tickled your ear.
Jaehyun stripped the lower half of your body. Your shirt was hiked above your swollen breasts and you could barely see past them at this angle.
Hormones surged and you were suddenly very aware of the extra thickness that had taken residence in your thighs and hips. Jaehyun had already noticed and goddamn, if it didn’t make his mouth water.
“Please ignore my belly,” you suddenly blurted.
Jaehyun glanced up at you incredulously, his hard cock resting on your pussy, and shot back, “How can I ignore it when it turns me on this bad?”
You gaped. “Seriously?”
“Yes, fuck,” Jaehyun rasped, smoothing his hands down your thighs. “You look so good pregnant.”
“Stop it,” you whined, though you didn’t mean a word. Your pulse had taken residence squarely at the apex of your thighs and it was torture.
“I put my baby in you,” Jaehyun said, more so to himself as he lifted your legs and bent them at the knees.
You threw your head back, wanting nothing more than to vanish into the mattress. Your core was slick, throbbing. Everything he said and did aroused you to the point of madness. Just a moment ago you were simply washing your face and now you were a heartbeat away from begging for dick. “God, you’re killing me.”
Steering your ankles to his shoulders, Jaehyun glanced sideways in the direction of his clock and asked, “How much time do we have again?”
“Fifteen minutes maximum.”
He huffed darkly, “I’m gonna eat up every second of that fifteen.”
You cried out when he penetrated you, tight and hard and so fucking deep. Wrenching your hands in the sheets on opposite sides of your body, you tipped your head back at a fast thrust and cursed, “Fuck.”
Jaehyun rocked into you and palmed your fleshy hips. Looking down at you, licking his lips like you were a full course meal, Jaehyun rasped, “God, you’re so fucking beautiful.”
You met his eyes and smirked, breasts bouncing with his pace.
Jaehyun tickled his fingers over the crest of your belly and whispered, “Mother of my baby.”
You could hear yourself gushing around him, arousal soaking his cock each time he drove in, and you moaned, “Fuck me.”
Jaehyun steered your feet from his shoulders and bent your legs, pressing his hands into the muscles of your thighs. His cock was even deeper now, his strokes long and slow like he relished every second inside the vice of your cunt.
The new angle, however good it felt, put undue pressure on your stomach and you could feel something building that made you panic. “Jaehyun, wait…,” you started, but it was too late. The fart escaped and you immediately hid your face behind both hands.
Jaehyun came to a dead stop, balls deep in your pussy, and his lips broke into a wide grin. “Was that a fart?”
“Yes,” you mumbled against your palms.
Jaehyun laughed heartily. “That was the daintiest fart ever. Why is everything you do so damn cute?”
You peeked between your fingers and exclaimed, “Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed!”
Jaehyun pulled out of you and folded at your side, cracking up with his eyes scrunched.
“Stop laughing at me,” you screeched, smacking his chest.
Jaehyun finally settled down and said, “Honest to god, I’ve never heard such a cute fart.”
“Stop saying fart,” you whined, though you were smiling at his reaction now. “You’re killing the mood!”
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” Jaehyun chuckled, getting back to his knees. “Your secret is safe with me.”
You watched him move between your thighs again, gripping your knees in his hands and spreading you apart for him, and huffed, “We will never speak of this again.”
Jaehyun pressed his cock back into your folds and replied, “Oh, yes, we will.”
He wasn’t kidding when he said he would devour all fifteen of those minutes. By the time post-coital clarity began to fade, the two of you noticed the time on the clock and sprinted into the bathroom.
As you shared the mirror, putting on makeup while he fixed his hair, Jaehyun asked, “When do you go on maternity leave?”
You leaned toward the mirror, swiping mascara through your lashes, and answered, “I don’t know exactly. I haven’t talked to my boss about it yet.”
Jaehyun lifted his collar and looped a charcoal tie around his neck, matching his crisp suit. “Maybe you should quit,” he said dryly.
You had been ogling him in his well-tailored suit, but any amorous feelings swiftly evaporated at that comment. You stood straight in surprise. “What?”
“Just for a while,” he suggested. “I make more than enough money.”
You frowned. “It’s not about the money. I love my job, Jaehyun. You know that.”
“I know, but… your job has crazy hours and deadlines. And it’s stressful.” His voice was soft; he was concerned, not judgmental.
“So is yours,” you shot back.
Jaehyun finished tying his tie and smoothed down his collar. He still seemed completely oblivious as to how much this conversation was grating on your nerves when he countered, “Yeah, but I’m not carrying a baby.”
You rounded on him, putting your hands squarely on your hips, and asserted, “You’re right. I am. And for that reason, I make decisions about my own life.”
Jaehyun angled toward you, refusing to back down. “It’s not just yours anymore.”
You grumbled, “Please, Jaehyun. We don’t have time for this. I know you don’t want me to work. I know you want me to be dependent on you.”
Jaehyun recoiled. “That’s not fair. You know I didn’t mean it like that.”
You raised your voice. “I’m never gonna be a stay at home mom, okay? I want more. I want to be more.”
Jaehyun glared. “Fine. Then, I’ll quit.”
That was the last thing you expected him to say. “What?”
“When the baby is born, I’ll quit my job,” he said, folding his arms across his chest. “I’m not letting some stranger raise my kid.”
You sighed with impatience, “You can’t quit your job, Jay. Do you have any idea how much a baby is gonna cost us?”
“I’ll deal with it. You can keep your career and I will raise the baby,” he told you firmly, eyes burning into yours.
You knew it meant a lot to him and this was not a conversation to have when you were both crunched for time. “We’ll talk about this later,” you murmured, offering a temporary surrender.
Jaehyun pecked a very chaste and brief goodbye kiss on your cheek and left the bathroom, saying, “Yes, we will.”
You shook your head and once he was safely out of earshot, you quipped under your breath, “Stubborn ass.”
But damn if you didn’t love him for it.
Reaching down to cradle your little baby bump, you added, “Your Daddy loves you more than anything in the world.”
Nine hours later, the house you shared with Jaehyun was a sight for sore eyes. You dragged your feet inside, tiredly dropped your messenger bag on the nearest table, and plopped onto the sofa.
A voice echoed down the hall, “Babe, are you home?”
You smiled faintly at the pet name and the sweet notes of his voice, and called back, “I’m home.”
Jaehyun appeared a moment later, taking the spot beside you on the couch.
“Hi,” he greeted.
“Hi.”
“I’m sorry about this morning,” he apologized sweetly.
You gave him a look to let him know no harm was done. “I’m sorry, too.”
Jaehyun squeezed your hand and told you a moment later, “I ordered dinner. It should be here in a few minutes.”
You practically salivated. “Great. I’m starving.”
Jaehyun bit his lip, inexplicably shy. “I also got some things together if you don’t mind looking at them.”
You arched a brow. “Oh?”
Jaehyun handed you a stack of papers and said, “I spent my lunch break doing some research.”
You scanned the first page and a single word leapt out at you. “Freelance?”
“Yeah, you could do freelance journalism,” Jaehyun began excitedly. “There’s tons of places looking for columnists, commission-based. The place you’re at now doesn’t pay you damn near what you’re worth and they restrict what you write. I know you’ve wanted to branch out and write more interesting things.”
You lowered your head, fighting a smile, and flipped through the pages.
“So doing freelance would give you a lot more freedom. In both time and subject matter,” Jaehyun continued, reaching over to put a hand on your belly.
You stopped at a page and questioned, “Data analyst?”
“Yeah, I…,” Jaehyun started, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “I told my boss I want a department change. The guys in the computer division all have the option to work from home whenever they want. There’s still time before the baby comes, I can get on-site training and switch departments.”
You set the papers down in surprise and turned to him, arguing, “Jaehyun, you love having clients and you’re on the fast track to be an executive one day.”
Jaehyun shrugged. “It’s just my job. I don’t love my career the way you do yours. It was never my dream. It pays the bills. No more, no less.”
You were overcome with affection toward him. It filled your chest with warmth and threatened to explode out of you at any second. “You really figured all this out over lunch?”
Jaehyun stroked your growing stomach absentmindedly and crooned, “Baby, you love your career. I don’t. I wouldn’t be sacrificing anything, but you would.”
You leaned your head back against the couch and lost yourself in his eyes, asking tenderly, “What’s your dream, Jaehyun?”
He moved closer, his hand cupping your cheek, and replied, “You know what it is. I want to be a husband and a father. That’s always been my dream. This way, we can both have what we want. I told you, I’ll do whatever it takes to make this work.”
Your heart fluttered at the mere mention of the word husband.
“It’s just a suggestion,” Jaehyun said coolly. “You were right earlier. You’re the one carrying our baby. It’s your choice, but this is my life too. Please just keep that in mind.”
You exhaled heavily. Having Jaehyun in your corner made you feel like you could do anything. Smiling as the happiness crept up on you, you warned, “If I freelance, I may have to travel from time to time.”
“Okay, cool. I’ll be working from home,” Jaehyun replied with a grin. “I would be able to send you minute by minute updates on the baby.”
You chuckled and your eyes welled up. Instead of clipping your wings, he was breaking the door off your cage.
Sliding into his arms, you kissed his lips softly. Jaehyun enclosed you in a hug, kissing your cheek and your jaw.
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” he whispered.
Resting your head on his taut chest, you crooned, “Thank you for believing in me.”
Jaehyun kissed the top of your head. “Anytime, babe.”
It seemed like your twenty week ultrasound was just around the corner.
Doctor Grant had referred you to an excellent obstetrician named Doctor Hayden. She would be the one taking over your appointments and would ultimately deliver your baby. You liked her no-nonsense personality.
The sonographer squeezed a bottle over your naked belly, warning that the gel would be cold. Next, she pressed the device to your stomach and turned to the screen.
You had one arm behind your head and the other resting on the slope of your stomach where your shirt was folded up out of the way, trying to appear calm and collected despite your excitement. Jaehyun stood beside you, shifting his weight with impatience.
The technician smiled after a minute or two, pressing a few keys, and then swiveled the display toward you and Jaehyun. “Say hello to your baby.”
There, in a three-dimensional sepia toned image was your unborn baby’s face.
“Oh,” you started.
“My god,” Jaehyun finished.
Both of you gawked.
“Hi, baby,” you stammered out.
The sonographer, grinning from ear to ear, pulled a few tissues from the box on her table and held them out over your stomach.
You looked in surprise to see Jaehyun take them, quickly wiping his wet cheeks. “Jaehyun…,” you cooed.
“I’m fine,” he wheezed.
The technician told you everything looked good. Your baby was developing normally and was on par growth-wise with this stage of your pregnancy. She could see no causes for concern.
“Would you like to know the sex of the baby?” she asked a moment later.
“I do,” Jaehyun said without hesitation.
You mulled. “I kinda want it to be a surprise.”
“It’s your call,” the technician said, having shifted the screen back to where only she could see.
Jaehyun gazed at you with big, pleading eyes.
You melted on the spot. “Can you tell just him? I’ll turn my head.”
She chuckled. “Of course.”
Jaehyun sported a massive grin the entire drive home.
You stared down at the pictures in your hands, captures of your baby’s face. There were a few traditional black and white ultrasound photos too, but you couldn’t take your eyes off your baby’s cute little nose.
Jaehyun was practically bouncing in the seat as he drove, whistling along to whatever was on the radio.
You beamed at him and said, “You’re happy.”
“I know something you don’t know,” he sang in teasing.
You giggled. His joy was contagious.
Jaehyun took two of the sonograms and pinned them to the refrigerator with magnets. After he scanned them into his phone, of course. He had to pry the close up shot of your baby’s face from your resistant hands and was quick to give it back once he’d captured it in his photo gallery.
You couldn’t stop looking at the picture, subconsciously smoothing a hand up and down your belly. “Okay, I changed my mind,” you called from across the room. “I wanna know - boy or girl?”
Jaehyun gleamed. “Really?”
You said with a nod, “Yeah, I remembered that I hate suspense. On second thought, tell me when the guys get here.”
Jaehyun agreed.
Johnny and Ten were coming over with cake to celebrate. Things had been hectic and busy since you moved in, and the pair had wanted to give you a happy housewarming party plus pregnancy celebration weeks ago.
The door had barely closed behind him as Ten bemoaned, “Is there gonna be a god-awful gender reveal party?”
Jaehyun retorted, “No, the world has enough wildfires.”
“Good,” Ten said with approval.
You were swept up in a hug with Johnny and the moment you parted, you handed him the sonogram photo.
“Holy shit, the bean has a cute nose now,” Johnny exclaimed. He had already begun referring to himself in third-person as Uncle Johnny.
“That’s what I said,” you joked, leaning into Jaehyun when he wrapped an arm around your waist.
Ten snatched the photo from Johnny’s outstretched hand and scanned it over, teeth flashing in a broad smile. “You guys made a baby,” he announced a moment later.
Jaehyun patted your hip. “Yes, we did,” you said with a chuckle.
The four of you ate cake and simply enjoyed each other’s company. Jaehyun couldn’t keep his hands from your stomach and you couldn’t drag your eyes away from his face. There were more than a few moments in the loud chaos that was Johnny and Ten, you and Jaehyun would simply meet each other’s eyes and smile.
He was so blissfully and contentedly happy. And he deserves it, you pondered to yourself. Your attention fell to your stomach. All three of us do.
Halfway through his cake, Ten abruptly whined, “Alright, dude. Out with it! Spill the beans about the little bean. Do I have a niece or nephew on the way?”
Jaehyun glanced around the table, the corner of his mouth lifting in a sheepish smile. Dragging it out for a few seconds just for fun. Then, his eyes finally settled on you when he said, “It’s a girl.”
You gasped, tears burning your eyes. “A baby girl?”
“Yes,” Jaehyun answered, pulling you snugly into his arms. “Our daughter.”
Ten let you and Jaehyun have a brief moment of sweetness before teasing, “You know what that means, Jaehyun?”
Jaehyun groaned as if he were in pain, “Yes.”
Ten was mischief incarnate. “You’re gonna have to meet your daughter’s boyfriend one day.”
“I will kill you,” Jaehyun snapped. Johnny snorted a laugh.
“Ten, don’t antagonize him,” you snickered, rubbing Jaehyun’s shoulder soothingly.
Johnny chimed in, “She could have a girlfriend. You never know.”
“True,” you said.
“I know that for now she’s mine,” Jaehyun asserted. “I have many, many years before I gotta share her with anyone else.”
You exclaimed, “What about me?”
Jaehyun softened and kissed your temple. “You know what I mean.”
That night, you crawled tiredly into bed, wearing one of Jaehyun’s loose-fitting shirts over some sweatpants. Your breasts were overly sensitive and full of milk, and his soft tees were perfect for sleeping in.
Jaehyun was leaning back against the headboard, sporting nothing but boxers, and lifted his arm as you snuggled close, draping his hand on your waist. You rested your head on his thigh, winding down after such an eventful day, and you smiled as you realized these quiet intimate moments with Jaehyun were your favorite.
Every night, the two of you would talk about anything and everything on your minds. Jaehyun was the type that struggled to express his feelings and the late-night talks helped him work out whatever bothered him. You were the only one he trusted implicitly with his deepest thoughts, refusing to show vulnerability to anyone else.
“Real talk,” Jaehyun suddenly said.
“Let’s hear it.”
He chewed over the words for a second or two and spoke his worries aloud, “I’m going to be the father of a daughter.”
You chuckled. Of course that was still on his mind. “Yes.”
“I’m scared shitless.”
You sat up, meeting his eyes, and confessed in a whisper, “Me, too.”
“No, but…,” he trailed, face tense with worry. “What am I supposed to do?”
You tilted your head curiously. “What do you mean?”
“I must protect her every minute of every day. This is not a safe world for girls.”
You pressed a hand to his thigh and gave a gentle squeeze. “I know that,” you said, somber and grave.
Fire lit inside Jaehyun’s gaze, evidence of his passion of which you were all too familiar with, but this was different. It was darker, more dangerous. The paternal instincts were in full sway. “If someone tries to touch her, I will have to kill them,” he hissed through clenched jaws.
“Well…,” you started. In no way did you disagree, because a mother’s instincts were just as deadly.
“That wasn’t a question,” he interjected.
“Babe.”
Jaehyun buried his face in the crook of your neck, tightening his arms around you. “I’m losing my fucking mind,” he groaned against your skin. “I will be in fight mode every single day. Can you handle that?”
You cradled his face in your hands and said, “First of all, I love you for that.”
“Thank you.”
Already you pictured him camped out beside the crib. You had a feeling Jaehyun would never have a full night's sleep again for as long as he lived once the baby was born.
You tugged him back to press a swift kiss to his lips and continued, “And second, it’s going to be fine. You’re going to be an amazing father to our daughter because not only will you protect her - always - but you will also teach her to protect herself.”
Jaehyun melted. It was exactly what he needed to hear. “Yeah?”
You nuzzled his nose with your own, overflowing with love toward him. “She will be so strong because of you.”
“You think so?”
“I know so,” you assured him. And you did. There was not a single shred of doubt in your mind that Jaehyun would be a great father.
Jaehyun sighed, the weight slipping from his chest. His broad hand came to rest on your belly and he gathered you close, guiding you to lay on top of him. And that was how you slept.
The third trimester came with the change of seasons. Summer turned to autumn. The trees changed colors, vibrant collages of red, orange and yellow. With a nip in the air, jackets and boots were always ready by the front door.
Your changes were marked by a shift in gait. There was more of a waddle to your movements, catering to the great swell of your belly. Your sex drive slowed, but your hormones skyrocketed. And your growing baby became more active inside of you.
“Oh my god, this is insane,” Jaehyun cried out, his hand on your naked belly.
Curled up beside him on the couch, a foot was extending at the top of your stomach and Jaehyun couldn't stop touching it. It was mind-blowing that his baby was moving around in your womb so vigorously, reaching out a hand on occasion when a foot wasn’t aiming for the nearest organ.
“She’s strong,” you commented, having been a little perturbed at your nap cut short. But one look at the joy on Jaehyun’s face banished that thought.
Jaehyun teased his finger over your stomach, enticing the little foot again to give chase. Your daughter kicked and stretched, working her muscles as Doctor Hayden had explained. She was more active than ever, especially when you were staying still.
Her favorite organ for target practice, of course, seemed to be your bladder. Which you swore was shrinking smaller and smaller by the day. Well, at least it provided her with a little more of a challenge.
Jaehyun kissed your belly endlessly, chuckling when a foot collided with his mouth. You carded your fingers into his hair, stroking affectionately.
He hadn’t pressed the issue of your work, but you knew you were cutting it close. The more your pregnancy advanced, the more your priorities began to change. Jaehyun had done as he planned, transitioning smoothly to the tech division of his company.
And in typical Jeong Jaehyun fashion, he was excelling and thriving.
He had the freedom to work from home now and to both his and your surprise, Jaehyun actually really liked it. He was able to make his quotas without the stress of dealing with management or hard to please clients. Jaehyun’s boss in tech was laid-back. As long as you got your work done, you could come and go as you pleased, according to him.
The sight of Jaehyun in a home office behind a desk pleased you more than it probably should have. Jaehyun had already made space for a baby rocker beside his chair though he had since bought a number of koala carriers that would keep your daughter tightly cradled to his chest while he worked.
At this point you were convinced Jaehyun would probably never let her out of his sight the moment she left your womb.
Weekends were spent relaxing and enjoying each other’s company. You and Jaehyun had a birthing class once a week and you were harshly confronted with the reality of labor and delivery. After a long conversation with Doctor Hayden, you decided to try natural childbirth though you opted out of giving birth at home in an overabundance of caution.
Jaehyun breathed a little easier in relief at that. Though he was exceptionally pale after watching the forty-five minute long video about childbirth in class.
As your due date loomed, you joked that your stomach entered a room five minutes before you did. You had to head for the bathroom the very moment you felt like peeing or else you probably wouldn’t make it in time.
On a brisk Friday morning, you peered into the office space across from the bedroom and said, “I’m off to work, Jay. See you for dinner.”
Jaehyun stopped typing and gave you a smile, wishing you a good day. He had become more perturbed at you working in your heavily pregnant state, but he didn’t nag. Given your stubbornness, nothing he said would dissuade you.
Little did he know you had a meeting with your boss that morning.
Jaehyun leapt in his chair when he heard the front door slam an hour later. Racing downstairs, he caught a glimpse of you and panicked. “What’s wrong?”
“I quit my job,” you announced, slinging off your jacket and tossing it vaguely in the direction of the coat rack.
Jaehyun ran up to you, hands going straight to your robust belly like magnets, and searched your face for distress. “What happened?”
“Well,” you began, grasping his arm and waddling your way over to the couch. “I told my boss that I love my job and because I love it so much I never asked him for anything, but I was asking for more flexibility so I can raise my child.”
Jaehyun helped you lower onto the sofa, as he always did, and asked, “What did he say?”
“Nope,” you answered, mimicking your boss’ tone. “So I quit.”
Jaehyun bristled, sitting down next to you and setting his jaw in anger.
You turned to him, shaking your head. “You know what he said? He begged me to stay.”
Jaehyun’s eyes widened.
“He brought in the owner and they offered to double my salary. Then triple it! You were right, they could have afforded to pay me fairly this whole time.”
Jaehyun clenched his teeth. He was already mentally rehearsing giving them a piece of his mind in the near future. Paternal instincts had suckerpunched his fear of confrontation into the atmosphere. “Bunch of bastards,” Jaehyun hissed under his breath.
“Yeah,” you agreed emphatically. “Boss said I was responsible for the largest share of articles. Thirty-two percent! I never knew that. Without me, they lose a third of their workforce. I’ve been doing what two to three people have been doing this whole time!”
“You love the work. They took advantage of your passion,” Jaehyun said gently. He’d suspected that all along.
“Well, I’m out of there,” you huffed, patting your belly affectionately. You then turned to Jaehyun and joked, “Is it alright if I crash here until I get back on my swollen feet?”
“Only if you can tolerate having me as a roommate,” Jaehyun quipped.
“I’ll manage,” you said, bringing his arm across the top of your stomach and lacing your fingers through his.
Jaehyun sighed. “I’m proud of you. I know starting over is scary.”
“I’m excited to do the freelance thing. I have a whole portfolio of published articles to market myself with. It will be hard, but I can do it.”
“Yes, you can.”
You smiled a little wider. “I can write about whatever I want now, Jay. I’m unstoppable!”
“I know,” he murmured, kissing your cheek.
You suddenly remembered that it was still early in the day and exclaimed, “Oh, shit. You’re supposed to be working.”
Jaehyun waved you away, but he did get to his feet. “Do I need to call in?”
“No, no,” you quickly responded. “We need to save those call outs for when we really need them.” You gave his butt a smack, urging him to go. “Get back to work. I’ll probably clean a bit.”
Jaehyun grimaced. “Okay, but don’t stay on your feet too much. Promise?”
“Promise.”
Jaehyun returned to his computer, leaving the door open and making you swear to call for him the moment you needed something. You agreed.
He let go a deep breath in relief. Though he didn't expect you to quit, Jaehyun was downright happy it worked out that way. That place would undoubtedly make you prioritize your assignments over your baby. Bunch of greedy assholes.
In your head you were thinking of things to do. You drifted into the nursery, tempted to organize baby clothes and supplies compulsively for the hundredth time. For the most part, you just liked being in there, smiling at the bright little room. It stilled your wildly beating heart.
Your baby shower had been delightful the week before and you felt confident that you were well-equipped and fully stocked with everything a newborn would need. Boxes of diapers were stacked in a tower in the corner and every mother you knew asserted that your baby would go through them in the blink of an eye.
The breast pump still got a chuckle out of you; it was the goofiest looking contraption. Jaehyun had put it up to his ears like headphones and made you laugh uncontrollably. You weren’t particularly looking forward to using the thing, but it was imperative to always have one on hand, your birthing class told you.
Settling into the rocking chair beside the crib, you put up your feet and fell asleep. The wider your belly got, the harder it was to sleep comfortably in bed at night. A nap never failed to hit the spot just right.
You woke with a jolt, surprised to find tears gathering in your eyes. Adrenaline prickled up the back of your neck and hormones smothered your throat, making it hard to breathe.
Before you knew what hit you, you were crying your eyes out.
Jaehyun leapt up the moment his lunch break started and went in search of you. He called your name from the hall, instincts guiding him straight into the nursery where you liked to think and relax.
Seeing your face flushed with tears, Jaehyun felt his heart give out. He raced up to you, kneeling between your legs and taking your face in his hands. “What’s wrong? Is it the baby? Are you okay?”
“I quit my job,” you whimpered. “I can’t believe I did that. How stupid!”
“Honey, a few hours ago you were so happy about it. Those idiots were taking advantage of you,” Jaehyun reminded patiently, swiping his thumbs through your endless tears.
You gripped him tightly, hoisting yourself up with great effort and pressing your hands into your aching lower back. “I can’t quit my job. I have to support a baby.”
“You have me. I will take care of the bills until your freelance work gets going. Just focus on the baby for now and…”
“I can’t do that! What if I don’t have you? I won’t always have you, Jaehyun,” you argued. Hormones snagged your heart between its claws and promptly crushed it with force.
Jaehyun sighed, “Of course you’ll always have me. What are you saying?”
You were too much of a wreck to explain that you had no safety net now. If Jaehyun left, you would have no way of supporting yourself and a baby. You were in full panic now. It was too scary relying on him.
Especially when you’d spent your entire life relying on no one but yourself.
Instead of voicing that thought, your emotions and hormones collided and the words that came out were bitter, “I fucked up. Now, I’ll never know if you would have stayed with me or if you just had to because you got me pregnant.”
Jaehyun bristled and his hands fell from your body like you were made of electricity. Face tensing with anger, he snapped, “First of all, tell that ugly little voice in your head to shut the fuck up. I’ve been dealing with her for years and I’m sick of it!”
You rooted in place, stunned, and yelled, “Jaehyun!”
Jaehyun crowded closer toward you and continued, “Second of all, I have done nothing but tell you and show you that I love you and want to be with you. So that part of you that keeps convincing you that I’m just waiting to leave can kiss my ass.”
You had never seen this side of him before and it flushed any and all fear or anger out of your system. Chewing the inside of your cheek, you huffed, “You’ve made your point.”
“Oh, I’m just getting warmed up,” he barked, folding his arms tightly. “For years you’ve pushed me away and bossed me around, and I’m not letting you do that anymore. If anyone is gonna walk away, it will be you because I’m staying right here.”
You blinked through a fresh surge of tears and slumped with defeat. Your daughter kicked you incessantly, telling you in her own way to stop. “You’re right,” you whispered sadly.
Jaehyun frowned.
You wiped at your tears with a rough hand, ashamed. “I’ve always had to take care of myself. I’ve always had to do it on my own. I’ve always been the only one that was there for me and then you came along. I didn’t trust it. I didn’t believe someone could love me and stay by me, but you have. You have never given up on me, even when I gave up on myself, and that’s why I know I’ll always love you.”
Heaving a sigh that served to banish all of his heavy emotions, Jaehyun met your eyes.
You sobbed, “Jaehyun, you’re the only person I’ve ever loved.”
Jaehyun pulled you into his arms and held you tight as you cried. He rested his cheek on your head, swaying you a little from side to side as he felt faint, persistent kicks against his stomach where your pregnant belly touched.
You cried until all of your tears were spent and then you willed yourself to come up for air, peering up at the love of your life and quipping, “You done putting me in my place?”
Jaehyun met your gaze sternly and rasped, “Did I get it done?”
“Yeah,” you said tiredly. “I’m good.”
“Good.”
You groaned and your voice trembled, “Please, for the love of god. Don’t let our daughter turn out like me.”
Jaehyun slipped a hand into your hair and tipped your head until your eyes didn’t stray from his warm brown irises. “There’s nothing wrong with you,” he scolded. “You’re the most amazing person I know.”
You burned with warmth at that, melting in his arms, and cooed, “But you’re the most amazing person that I know.”
Jaehyun said, “Well, then our baby is in good hands. She’s gonna be just fine.”
You took a deep breath and let it go, attention shifting to Jaehyun’s pouty lips and how badly you wanted to kiss them. “These fucking hormones,” you whined, rising to your tiptoes and pressing your mouth to his.
Jaehyun chuckled into the kiss, smoothing his hands down your back.
“Sex is getting interesting,” you murmured, on your back in bed.
“Creative,” Jaehyun interjected, holding your knee hooked on his hip. “Creative sounds better.”
You chortled. “Okay.”
Jaehyun made a small noise of pleasure when he bottomed out in your sweet cunt again, back arching as he drove inside you. “How long do you think you can tolerate this position?” he asked a moment later.
“Thirty seconds at best,” you told him, trembling at how deep he thrust. It felt even tighter. “Your daughter is sitting on my spine.”
Jaehyun glanced up, shaking hair damp with sweat from his eyes. “She’s asleep though, right?”
“Yes, Jaehyun. She’s asleep,” you droned, resisting a laugh.
“I’m assuming doggy style is out of the question?”
“I want my back blown out, but not literally.”
Jaehyun snorted.
You winced and groaned, “That thirty seconds is almost up.”
Jaehyun pulled out of you. “Alright,” he said, steering you to lay on your side and entering you from behind. “How about this?”
You set your nails into his thigh and moaned. “Better.”
Things changed between you and Jaehyun after that day. You were at peace, comfortable with relying on him and letting him take the lead. For the entirety of your relationship, you fought him for the reins, never realizing that you selfishly held them at all times.
Never allowing yourself to trust him.
Now, the dynamic shifted. Jaehyun was at the helm and you accepted how he navigated the seas in both storm and sunshine. This was a partnership of equals and you both shared the responsibilities, but with him supporting you - physically and emotionally - you were free to focus on becoming a mom.
Quitting your job brought your priorities into view, front and center. You were finally aware of your impending due date. Drowning yourself in work had let you blithely ignore just how close your daughter’s arrival loomed.
After your last ultrasound before delivery, you and Jaehyun spent the entire car ride home considering names. But both of you agreed that you wanted to hold her and see her face before you settled on one that would best suit her.
A large suitcase stayed by the front door at all times, ready to go on a moment’s notice. It had everything your birthing class had advised you to take to the hospital when it came time to deliver.
Every time you laid eyes on it, you prickled with anticipation like you had been struck by lightning.
You stood there a lingering moment, stroking your belly as you sang, “I’m ready when you are, little one.”
Your kicking baby only kicked harder.
You chuckled, glancing down at your belly with affection. You couldn’t see your feet anymore. Your breasts and stomach were enormous, which said nothing for the state of your ankles. Your back hurt at all times and your bladder was probably the size of a pea, but nothing could dampen your excitement.
Whenever the pain or discomfort began to push your limits, you simply closed your eyes and pictured holding your baby in your arms at long last. It felt like you’d been waiting an eternity to meet her.
In the midst of preparing dinner, you waddled into the kitchen and hugged Jaehyun from behind. He smiled with delight, never quite getting over how it felt to have your big belly pressed to his back. But he loved when he felt a solid kick.
“Smells good, babe,” you told him, peeking past his shoulder at the stew he was working on. It was his mother’s recipe and the woman was a cook blessed by the gods. She had plans to fly in with Jaehyun’s father next week to meet their new grandchild and Jaehyun could hardly contain himself.
“It’s almost done,” Jaehyun replied, looking devilishly handsome in his apron. Not that he needed it, but the apron looked so good on him he chose to don it whenever he was in the kitchen just to get a reaction from your hormones.
You squeezed a handful of his butt and flirted, “I’m hungry.”
Jaehyun grunted at your playful grip on his ass and murmured, “It will be worth the wait.”
You smirked wryly and hobbled to the adjoining dining room to set the table. Jaehyun tried to talk you out of it, but you liked staying active. It distracted you from the ache in your back.
When dinner was finished, you and Jaehyun cleaned up and washed dishes together. Even when it was mundane, you just loved being around him. He was officially on paternity leave and the days were spent on final preparations and rest. When the baby came, sleep would more than likely be a precious commodity, which was also why you were looking forward to his mother moving in for the first month or two.
“I have a dilemma,” Jaehyun spoke up when you were getting ready for bed.
Having just pulled back the comforter to crawl underneath, you stopped, brows furrowing. “What’s wrong?”
Jaehyun scratched the back of his neck nervously. “I… got you something, but you’ve made a couple comments about your swollen fingers.”
You held up your hands, which looked particularly chunky. Edema, Doctor Hayden told you it was called. Fluid retention, she explained. Just like your ankles.
Jaehyun approached, fishing something out of his pocket and holding it out to you.
You noticed the necklace first, then your eyes fell to the ring hanging from it. You gawked when realization sank in. Opening your mouth to speak, you were left dumbstruck when Jaehyun opened his other hand to show a matching ring.
“I was worried yours wouldn’t fit right now, so I got a chain for it.”
You questioned, “Rings?”
“Yeah, rings,” Jaehyun said, relieved when you offered an open palm for him to drop the necklace onto. “It’s a promise that one day we’re going to get married.”
You held the ring in your fingers and looked at it with happy tears in your eyes. At his words, you looked up sharply. “Really?”
Jaehyun nodded. “Yeah, maybe when our girl is big enough to scatter flowers down the aisle.”
A tear or two escaped, rolling down your cheeks, and you sighed, “I would love that.”
Jaehyun gleamed. “You would?”
“Yes,” you said with longing. You hadn’t realized how much you wanted that till you pictured your daughter scattering rose petals on an aisle. You imagined a wedding photo over the fireplace in the living room; of you in a sleek gown and Jaehyun in a fitting tux.
And your daughter held between you and him. Where she rightfully belonged.
It felt meant to be. Like this was where your life was supposed to go.
At that moment, you had never felt so abundantly happy.
“Me, too,” Jaehyun finally replied with moisture weighing down his deep voice.
For the next few hours, you slept soundly in his arms, content and knowing all was right in the little world you shared with Jaehyun.
It started as a tickle.
You could only describe the sensation as little flutters across your stomach, akin to someone running their fingertips back and forth. With a quick glance at the nightstand and seeing that it was just past midnight, you paid it no mind and tried to go back to sleep.
At nearly two in the morning, you were roused a bit more persistently. The tugging in your stomach was firmer, more intense. You were reminded of period cramps, but with the added pressure of a baby sitting very low between your hips.
“Whew, alright, okay,” you huffed, propping a hand on the doorframe of the bathroom. You took steadying breaths, panic flooding into your chest.
You weren’t due for another week and a half.
“It’s probably Braxton-Hicks,” you told yourself. Both your doctor and the birthing class warned that you could have contractions but not be in labor. They were just practice contractions, the uterus flexing its muscles as it were in preparation.
Waddling at a snail’s pace back to bed, you sat down and gripped the edge of the mattress in both hands on opposite sides of your legs. Blowing out another breath, you focused on the tightening in your stomach and willed it to calm. When the contraction ran its course, you relaxed and slipped back into bed.
Jaehyun was none the wiser, so sound asleep an earthquake would probably fail to wake him. At night was when he fully recharged his batteries and this process was never disturbed.
Needless to say, Jaehyun almost tumbled off the bed when you shook his chest and shouted at the top of your lungs, “Jeong Jaehyun!”
Jaehyun leapt to action, startled like a deer in headlights with wide, terrified eyes in oncoming traffic, and exclaimed, “What? What?”
You were sitting up, hands cradling your big belly, and your breaths were heavy. You inhaled through grit teeth, jaws clenched tight. “I’m having contractions,” you managed to snarl.
Jaehyun froze in place. The gears turned in his head and adrenaline promptly socked him across the face. “You’re not due for another week and a half,” he exclaimed, scrambling out of bed and racing to the dresser.
“I know,” you replied calmly, focused on breathing. “I’ve been ignoring these since midnight, but they’re getting worse.”
Jaehyun squinted at the clock, saw that it was almost five in the morning, and scolded, “You should have woke me right away!”
You watched him pull on a pair of jeans over his boxers and said, “I assumed that they’re just the practice ones. You know, the - ow, son of a bitch, here comes another one!”
Jaehyun, a shirt halfway around his neck, raced over to you and took your hands. “Babe, how far apart are they?”
You craned your head back and cried out. Someone had wrapped an invisible belt around your stomach and was tightening it mercilessly.
Jaehyun didn’t say anything else until the contraction had passed and you returned your eyes to him.
“A few minutes,” you finally answered, sweat beading at your hairline. “I think this is the real thing, Jaehyun. I can’t explain it.”
“I believe you,” he said, pulling his shirt on the rest of the way. “Can you get dressed?”
You nodded. “Between contractions, I’m okay.”
Jaehyun helped you up from the bed and then proceeded to grab your clothes. You were struggling to take off your pants given the full breadth of your pregnant belly, but had managed to kick them off by the time Jaehyun approached.
Then, you felt something warm and wet between your legs, followed by a very quiet splash.
“What was that?” you exclaimed. Due to your breasts and belly, you couldn’t see the fluid on your feet. But you could feel it.
Jaehyun’s eyes followed down your legs and he asked, “Did you pee or is that what I think it is?”
“My water just broke,” you gasped, flying headfirst into a panic.
“Don’t panic,” Jaehyun barked, as if he could suddenly read your mind. He crouched down and used your discarded pajamas to dab your legs dry, then helped you step into your pants.
You held his shoulders for balance and said, “I’m keeping on the t-shirt. Fuck putting on a bra. I’m in labor I don’t need it. We gotta go.”
“Agreed.”
It was a slow and tedious process getting downstairs. Not only were you terrified that at any point your baby would come shooting out from between your legs, but the contractions were extra spiteful now that your water had broken. You had to stop and wait for them to pass, swearing and groaning all the while, before you could resume walking.
Jaehyun draped a towel over the passenger seat and helped you lower into the car. Once your seatbelt was fastened, he tore out of the driveway and onto the main road.
“Jay, listen to me,” you started, putting a hand on his arm. “My contractions are far enough apart. Don’t speed.”
“Got it,” Jaehyun said, gripping the wheel and holding his phone with the other. Doctor Hayden answered on the third ring, her voice drowsy with sleep, but she perked up immediately when Jaehyun explained you were on the way to the hospital.
“Ow, ow, ow,” you began to chant, setting your fingernails into whatever you could find purchase on as a contraction barreled into you.
Jaehyun hung up when Doctor Hayden told him she was on her way and shot you a worried glance. “Breathe, baby,” he called over your profanity-laced yelling. “You have to…”
“I can’t fucking breathe,” you screamed, arching in the seat as pain radiated from the core of your body. When the contraction tapered off, you came back to your senses, shaking your head.
“Okay?” Jaehyun asked.
You shook your head even more. “Holy shit, that hurts.”
Jaehyun could only imagine.
Though you had been dreading giving birth in a hospital bed, you found yourself grateful for the guard rails on both sides. They were perfect for holding onto when you were enduring another contraction.
On the phone, Jaehyun was speaking in his mother tongue. You could pick out some words here and there, but you were safe in assuming he was talking to his parents.
They would need to fly out much sooner than originally planned.
Jaehyun hung up the phone and approached you, taking your hand again. “How are you?”
You grumbled, “This sucks ass.”
Jaehyun looked pale. “I’m sorry.”
You narrowed your eyes at him and hissed, “I really don’t like you right now.”
He resisted a chuckle, knowing better than to tempt your wrath. “I don’t blame you.”
You sneered, “Just had to hit it raw. Just had to be so good at sex, didn’t you? I hate you.”
Jaehyun ran a thumb over your knuckles and said, “Squeeze my hand until it breaks.”
When the contractions were gone, clarity returned. You leaned your head back into the pillow and stared at the monitor, the one recording your baby’s heartbeat. You loved the rhythm, clinging to every single beep.
Doctor Hayden assured you all was progressing normally. Her soothing voice helped put you at ease. She told you to think about your baby when the pain pushed your limits.
The contractions came faster and harder.
“I’m an idiot,” you roared vehemently. “Why would you let me do this?”
Jaehyun stared at you incredulously. “What do you mean?”
“All natural? What the hell was I thinking?”
“You were very specific,” Doctor Hayden chimed in from the end of the bed, dressed in green scrubs with a mask over her nose and mouth.
She was perched between your legs, your feet up in the stirrups. It was time to push.
You turned to the nurse. “I want the epidural.”
Her face was expressionless, gloved hands holding your knee. “That ship has sailed,” she said calmly.
“Fuck that,” you spat, turning back to Jaehyun. His hand was on your other knee. “This is a conspiracy. Get me drugs. I need drugs now!”
Jaehyun peered over at Doctor Hayden, though he already knew the answer, and demanded, “Give her something.”
Cool and collected as ever, Doctor Hayden responded, “We don’t have anything to give her.”
You wailed as another contraction ripped through your body.
Doctor Hayden clocked a weathered glance at Jaehyun and spoke quietly, “Calm her down.”
Jaehyun squeezed your hand and crooned, “Baby, you can do this. You’re doing great.”
“You’re a shit liar,” you panted. You were convinced that given the searing pain between your legs, you were currently being torn apart from the inside. The pressure in your body felt strong enough to break through bones. “You always have been.”
Jaehyun didn’t argue. He had never been so scared in his entire life. Every memory he had of fear seemed like paradise compared to this moment. He was beyond terrified.
Doctor Hayden called your name and said, “Big push now.”
You both hated and appreciated how unbothered she was in this situation. Tucking your knees closer to your chest, you bore down with all of your might, vaguely aware of the nurse counting down from ten in the background.
Fuck the stirrups. The nurses were holding your feet now. You needed more leverage.
“Again,” Doctor Hayden pressed.
You sucked in a quick breath and did as told. Pushing was the tiniest relief you got from the crushing pain of contractions. After another count of ten, you were instructed to rest and breathe for a few precious seconds. You slumped back into the bed, woozy.
Jaehyun pressed his lips to the back of your hand for a long moment, eyes fixated on your face. It was unreal. He was looking at you through brand new eyes. How the fuck was someone capable of this much pain without even passing out?
He smoothed a hand over your bare thigh. Never in his life had Jaehyun felt so utterly helpless.
Breathing heavily, your eyes batted with exhaustion and you spoke feebly, “I’m running out of strength.”
Doctor Hayden’s voice seemed distant, but her tone sliced through you like a blade. “Then, you renegotiate with your body to find more strength for your baby.”
Tears clouded your vision as another contraction started. Every inch of you began to shake. You had reached your limit.
Baby, you thought. Think of the baby. My baby. You looked at Jaehyun. Our baby.
“Please get her out,” you whimpered.
“One more push.”
You screamed at the top of your lungs.
All of the blood in your body seemed to be rushing to your head, pounding in your ears. Breathing felt like the hardest chore. Agony was all you knew. You couldn’t believe what your heart was able to endure without giving out entirely.
Then, something landed on your chest and it all vanished in an instant.
A high-pitched cry stole your attention. Someone grabbed your wrists and placed your hands on whatever was now resting on your breasts. You glanced down quickly to see your baby, screaming at the rough hands wiping her little body with a towel.
You blinked through the tears to clear your vision, forcing them to roll in steady streams down your cheeks. “Hi, baby girl,” you rasped. “Hi.”
You had just met her and already your daughter owned you - heart and mind, body and soul.
Jaehyun stood beside you, eyes wide and mouth parted. He was in disbelief and awe. His daughter let her feelings be known, screeching at any who could hear. Jaehyun ran a hand down his face, still in shock.
“Congratulations, you two,” said Doctor Hayden, smiling. “She’s beautiful.”
“Thank you,” you and Jaehyun stammered out in perfect sync, lost for breath. And words.
Your baby calmed a little with the steady thumping of your heart beneath her, just as exhausted as you were and rightfully so. Jaehyun hovered above you, his hand smoothing your hair back from your sweaty forehead. He lingered a kiss on your brow and you stared up at him in wonder. You had just brought a little extra light into the world.
And she was beautiful.
It seemed like an eternity passed for Jaehyun until he was instructed to sit on the adjacent chair and take off his shirt. The baby was put on his naked chest for skin to skin contact and he held her carefully like she was made of the most fragile glass.
You lay there in the hospital bed, blinking slowly with exhaustion, but also contentment. Jaehyun spoke quietly to his daughter in his mother tongue, patting her back over the blanket draped across them both. You could only see a glimpse of her rosy cheeks, but you knew she was nestled in the safest place in the world - Jaehyun’s arms.
Father and daughter had a moment where her eyes locked with his and didn’t let go.
And she looked thoroughly unimpressed with the situation.
Jaehyun snorted with relief and joy at her expression. He was out of his mind, consumed from head to toe in unconditional love for his baby.
She looked like him. Her cheeks were adorably round and full. She had his mouth and chin and nose. But her eyes were all yours.
Jaehyun glanced up at you, sensing your gaze on him, and flushed bashfully. “She’s so small,” he murmured, voice trembling.
“Yeah,” was all you had the energy to say. You were cleaned up and tucked into bed, and though there was a persistent pain in the core of your body, you didn’t bat an eye at it.
She was more than worth it. After giving birth, you were convinced you could do anything. One look at your baby girl was pure magic.
Jaehyun sniffed and the tears rolled down his cheeks. “Don’t tell the boys I cried,” he quipped lightly.
“Cry, Jaehyun,” you whispered, hoarse. “She’s worth crying over.”
Jaehyun was inclined to agree. He gave you an indescribable look that conveyed a love more than words ever could, a look you would never forget as long as you lived, and smiled before craning down to kiss the top of her head, smoothing his hand over her dark hair.
When she was back in your arms, suckling peacefully at your breast, you turned to Jaehyun and simpered. Jaehyun didn’t hesitate to lean in and seal his lips to yours in a kiss that made your heart skip a beat.
“Jaehyun?”
“Yeah?”
You quipped, “I am never having sex again.”
Considering the past few hours, Jaehyun chuckled and though he knew it was a lie, replied, “That’s fair.”
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These works are fictional and for entertainment purposes only, but are licensed and protected under a creative commons attribution-noncommercial-noderivatives 4.0 international license. Any instances of plagiarism will be dealt with accordingly. Do not re-post or translate without my permission.
copyright 2020 - 2021 © yutaholic (formerly zenyukhei) all rights reserved
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smileysuh · 2 days ago
JAEHYUN OPPA KINK
7/10
While i think he’d be down for this, and lets be real, Jae would be VERY down the moment you call him oppa in a cute lil voice- i dont think this is a main kink for him. Indulge in it if you want, and if you like it, he’ll play on the oppa kink just to get you ready for him, but yeah, for Jae, he could live without this kink ftuygiuhoi
-the moment you whine “oppa” at him, this guy will stop what he’s doing and come take care of you, and while ‘oppa’ makes Jae into more of a soft dom, he’s still not a fan of brattiness so be prepared for him to punish you a little for getting so needy/whiney that you’re calling him oppa
-and if you call him oppa in front of his friends? 10/10 still will take you to the nearest bathroom (or place with a lockable door) and rail the shit out of you
-’come on gorgeous, let me hear those moans’ big fan of making you look into his eyes when he fucks you, ‘calling me oppa in front of my friends- you’re my dirty little whore aren’t you? knowing i’d drag you in here and fuck the shit out of you- call me oppa again baby,’ his hand would squeeze around your throat, ‘i dare you.’
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Send me a Kink and a NCT boy (or poly unit) of your choice and I’ll tell you what he thinks of the kink, and give you a blurb on how he’d enjoy it ;)
Kink Game Masterlist
Please consider supporting me through kofi or paypal :)
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sproutlee · a day ago
thinking about ….play fighting/rough housing with jaehyun 🥰
it's like, you're either fucking at the end of it or cuddling because you lost or he pretended to lose to you and you're pouting too much.
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tyonfs · 3 days ago
Text
the bet
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❝ pretty girls like you shouldn’t go looking for trouble in the first place, y/n. ❞
PAIRING ▸ ice hockey player!hyuck x fem!reader
GENRES ▸ smut, friends to lovers 
WARNINGS ▸ dirty talk/banter, lowkey pwp, unprotected sex, exhibitionsm (rip mark), locker room sex, fingering, edging, orgasm denial, overstimulation, pure self indulgement omg
SUMMARY ▸ you and lee donghyuck created a bet that stated you two would have sex if he made the winning shot. now, you’re pinned up against the lockers, about to do the one thing best friends don’t do, and you definitely shouldn’t be wanting more.
WORD COUNT ▸ 2221 words
TAG LIST ▸ @leeknowsredeyeliner @wownajaemin​ @geniejunn @huangberryyy @halbae
AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ 90s love hyuck still lives in my head rent free and i got his arrival ver pc so i had to finish this wip </3 i hope you guys enjoy it !! ♡ 
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YOU WERE DEFINITELY IN OVER YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU MADE THE BET WITH LEE DONGHYUCK.
Now, you were in a predicament because you didn’t realize how stupid the words coming out of your mouth were. Maybe if you didn’t get so overly-excited back then, you wouldn’t have run your loud mouth so boldly. Moreover, you had declared it in front of the entire ice hockey team, which was probably going to haunt you for the rest of your college experience.
The bet decreed that if Lee Donghyuck made the winning goal, you would agree to have sex with him.
It wasn’t the worst thing in the world, and it wasn’t like you didn’t want to have sex with him. If you could get past the fact that you were both friends and you had publicly announced your future private affairs, there would be nothing holding you back. You had to admit your friend was quite attractive and his confident demeanor only amplified that.
Furthermore, sex with Donghyuck could very well be the solution to your problems; there was no knife sharp enough to cut the tension between the both of you. Ever since you kissed him at the New Year’s countdown, your relationship with him shifted.
Quality conversations turned into meaningless bickering, awkward silence turned into staring into each other’s eyes, and high-fives turned into the longing to hold hands.
You underestimated Donghyuck’s athletic abilities. Apparently, just because he whined whenever you playfully punched his shoulder didn’t mean he was actually weak. Your brain tried to reason that he probably instructed his teammates to set up the perfect ending shot for him. Still, you watched his ceaseless proud smirk as he carried his team to victory, as his last puck slid past the goalie and into the net, as he hoisted the trophy up over his cheering teammates. Donghyuck must have noticed your dumbfounded look amongst the crowd because he was more excited over your disbelief than he was over winning the game.
That was exactly why you were pinned up against the lockers after the game, Donghyuck’s body flush against yours.
“Admit it already,” he cooed, his tousled hair tickling your face as he neared you. “You lost.”
“Are you sure?” you asked, a nervous laugh bubbling from your lips. “Did I say this game? I think I meant the season.”
You were more nervous about being walked in on than about having sex with your best friend. Frankly, you didn’t mind having sex at all; Donghyuck was very attractive and the tension between you two was turning you on. The problem was that you were in the boys locker room and anyone on the team could walk on you at any given moment.
“Oh? You’re backing out all of a sudden? After you blabbered off to the entire team?” Donghyuck taunted.
“Shut the fuck up.”
“Make me.” The challenge was laced in his husky voice. You shied away from his gaze, burning with shame, but Donghyuck tilted his head to look at you. “Why so stingy? Pretty girls like you shouldn’t go looking for trouble in the first place, Y/N.”
“Or what?” you quipped, mustering up the courage to look up at him. Your insides were set aflame when he narrowed his eyes at you. Dropping your voice to a murmur, you added, “You’re close.”
“I know.”
You barely had time to process before Donghyuck’s lips pressed against yours, feverish, starved, and you could almost taste his ache for you. You always expected him to be the type who went soft in front of the girl he liked, but you were proven wrong when Donghyuck pressed his knee up between your legs. The softest whimper escaped your lips. It was barely audible but spoke volumes for Donghyuck, making him press his knee against you with more intensity.
“Fuck,” he growled in your ear. “Do you realize how long I’ve dreamt of doing this to you while you wore this fucking skirt?”
“Donghyuck!” you gasped out, breaking from the kiss when you felt him start palming your clit. The way you gave in so easily was almost embarrassing. “G-god—yeah, right there.”
He smirked lazily as he pressed down on that perfect spot, circling his middle and ring finger around it at a steady rhythm. You nearly forgot to breathe when he dragged his lips down to your neck. Donghyuck nipped at your skin until he found that sweet spot that made you mewl. The sensation paired with his slow fingers working on your clit was enough to make your brain turn to mush.
Your breaths were shallow as Donghyuck continued to rub your clit. He was doing so good, and you were so close to praising him for it. When you felt the tug of your orgasm, however, he could sense it in the way your back was arching and your hips bucked for more friction.
“Are you close?” His voice was pitched deeper, and it sent shivers down your spine.
“Yes,” you breathed out. “Please keep going.”
Everything that had been pent-up was now fizzling down when Donghyuck removed his hand. A cocky grin spread across his lips when he saw how frustrated you were from being edged. You let out a whine and pushed at his shoulder, so Donghyuck just chuckled and started tugging down your underwear.
“Save the orgasm for when I actually fuck you,” he said, unbuckling his pants hastily. He slid two fingers in your mouth, urging you to suck on them, and then moved them down to rub your slit. “God, you’re already soaked for me.”
“Shut up,” you mumbled, burning at the thought of how you longed for him to just finish you off.
In seconds, Donghyuck had scooped you up and pressed your back against the lockers. His hands were under your thighs, positioning you just where his cock was pressing against your thigh. The insatiable gleam in his eyes made you shrink under his gaze.
“Can I?” he asked in a murmur, and you nodded eagerly. He chuckled and peppered kisses along your jawline. “I need to hear you say it, doll. Come on, use those pretty lips.”
You whined a little. “Please fuck me, Hyuck.”
He slid your cock past your tight entrance, groaning as he felt your walls clench around him. The tight cinch of adjusting to his size was making you feel lightheaded, but soon the mild discomfort passed and was replaced with waves of pleasure. After a few moments, Donghyuck started thrusting deep in you, holding you up steady. Your hands made their way down his back, and then back up to mess up his hair.
You were bouncing helplessly against the lockers, trying to grab onto your best friend for some sort of leverage. When he let go of one of your thighs to rub your sensitive clit, you were sure you would’ve collapsed if he wasn’t pressed up against you.
He picked up the pace after you both got used to each other. Donghyuck angled his hips to find that one spot that had you clenching desperately around him. By this point, you were sure your orgasm was creeping up again.
The sound of a door opening startled you both. You and Donghyuck completely froze for a moment while you heard footsteps heading in your direction. You immediately recognized the person as Mark Lee, chattering away on the phone with someone else. Thankfully, he stopped on the other side, but you were still in a risky position. Your walls were clenching around nothing, and Donghyuck could feel you throbbing through your underwear.
The amazed grin on his face made your body feel hot, and he continued his torturous motions on your clit despite your silent pleading to keep quiet. You grabbed the fabric of his jersey, burying your face into the crook of his neck to silence your whimpers.
“Dude, I’m not gonna go to a party tonight,” Mark said with a groan. You supposed he was talking to Jeno, who had been harping on and on about celebrating their victory. “I have a paper due tomorrow, and all I’ve written so far is my name!” He paused while he fumbled through his locker. “Actually, I don’t even know if I wrote that.”
Donghyuck continued his thrusts, and your eyes shot open, shaking your head and trying to gesture that Mark was still in the locker room. Your best friend didn’t seem to mind, though. He held a finger to his lips, signaling for you to be quiet, and leaned in so his hot breath fanned your ear.
“If you know what’s best for you, then you’ll keep quiet and take it like a good girl,” he whispered, barely audible.
His words made you feel overwhelmingly hot, and your eyes widened when you realized he was really going to keep fucking you with Mark still in the locker room. Something about the whole situation made you feel more excited than you should’ve been.
You hated the fact that Donghyuck was getting what he wanted. Moreover, you hated how you wanted to let him.
Mark was still on the phone, oblivious as Donghyuck fucked you on the other side of the lockers. Despite being on the phone with Jeno, the echo in the locker room was enough to draw attention to you two if someone made a sound. The anxiety had you clenching around him, begging him to cum already so you wouldn’t be caught.
Yet, Donghyuck only rolled his hips into your core, the deep strokes only intensified by how he throbbed inside of you. At this point, you felt absolutely defeated. You were sure you were going to get caught by how amplified the sound of sex was because of your arousal.
“Dude,” Mark muttered into the phone, and you could tell he was closing up his locker quickly and trying to get the hell out of there. He sounded like he was trying to hold in a miserable laugh. “You won’t believe this. Hold up.”
The flush of embarrassment that coursed through your body after Mark hurried out of the locker room was incredible. You punched at Donghyuck’s shoulder, shooting him a glare while he just snickered.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, though he didn’t sound very apologetic as he kissed all over your neck. “Your pussy feels too good. I just wanted to let him catch us.” When you clenched around him again, Donghyuck smirked. “Plus, I could feel you when he came in. You liked it.”
“Did not,” you fired back childishly.
“Did too.”
You were growing even more frustrated by now. It had been your second time being edged, and you were just desperate to orgasm already. But you knew your best friend more than anyone, and you knew what you had to do to send him off the edge.
You stole a quick kiss and said, “You’re right, Hyuck. I wanted Mark to see me getting fucked stupid by you.”
Donghyuck’s lips parted in surprise, a shaky breath falling from his lips before he started picking up his thrusts again. He swore lowly when his head fell into the crook of your neck, growling out words of praise to arouse you even more.
“You’re so fucking tight,” he growled out, enunciating his point with a sharp thrust of his lips, and you couldn’t help the moan that escaped your lips.
Then, warmth blossomed under your skin once more. You knew better this time, though, and you kept it to yourself before Donghyuck denied your orgasm for a third time. With a couple more thrusts and coordinated rubs of your engorged clit, you were convulsing and shaking around him, mouth open with a moan stuck in the back of your throat. Your expression went hazy in seconds, eyes glazed over as Donghyuck fucked you through your orgasm.
You couldn’t think of anything at all, just about how good he was making you feel. Donghyuck was everything and nothing at all, your pleasure eclipsing his entire being. You felt like you were floating even as his thrusts slowed down and he pulled out of you to cum over your thigh.
Coherency began to seep back into you after twenty long seconds. Donghyuck aided you through it all, rubbing your sensitive clit to prolong the feeling.
Then, you both were spent and exhausted, simply staring at each other and holding each other in awe. All you could feel was unexpected closeness and happiness with your best friend. You hadn’t expected the rewards of your bet to turn out this sweet.
“So,” Donghyuck started, catching his breath like he had just run a marathon.
“The bet…” You sucked in a sharp breath after you trailed off, trying to force some air back into your lungs.
“There’s no more bet.” Donghyuck shook his head, reaching forward to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. “I don’t want this to be a one-time thing.”
You nodded quickly. “Yeah, same,” you agreed, and when you finally could speak properly, you asked, “So, are we a thing or something?”
Donghyuck grinned. “How about we discuss that after another round in my car?”
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peachybun-bun · 2 days ago
Uhhh yep. I’m gonna need more poly JohnJae. Their dynamic was amazing in the most recent one shot. Holy Christ. 🙃
Hi! I am so pleased that you liked it!
I enjoyed writing it VERY much. It had been in the works for awhile but it felt great to finally get it written and out into the world so they'd "get out of my head". Thing is they haven't left.
They are two that I would 100% write a second part to. I'm not going to promise when but one day those two will come back.
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hencity · 2 months ago
Text
Friendly favour - L.DH.
In which you're a curious virgin with touch repulsion and a very devoted friend.
genre: fluff, angst, smut, college!au, best friend!Donghyuck, pining
word count: 20.9k
warnings (aka spoilers): touch repulsion, anxiety, daddy issuess, protected sex, loss of virginity, i guess no sub-dom energy, fingering, vaginal penetration, alcohol consumption, and mentions of: sexual abuse, masturbation, asexuality and college struggle; inconsequent narration and my writing skills (that's a serious warning)
taglist: @hyucks-things @count-your-shadows @wownajaemin @riemshyuck @resceluwu @lauraneuuh @tyongpoetry @subhyuck @ukiyolixx @angel-hyuckie @jiye0n0 @readers-posts @junglewoos @nanas-gf @ddontyoumind (I'm sorry, for some reason tumblr won't let me tag you)
a/n: sorry for the delay, i had to edit it twice (since tumblr didn't save it for the first time) therefore the second time it was a bit rushed. Hope you'll enjoy it anyway. Feedback is welcome (:
You really try to not show how bothered you are with a specific Bridgertons episode playing on the TV. A young girl lying in bed pleasuring herself in a dimmed bedroom, moaning. Her pants echoing in the room, expressions suggestive making you uneasy.
“Yo, do you remember your first orgasm?”
Apparently Donghyuck does not feel awkward at all. He slouches on the other side of the couch looking at you with curious eyes. His words hang in the air causing you to pent up as if getting ready for the conversation your friend starts.
“You’re assuming a lot by asking this question.” Not sure what to do with yourself you decide to just keep nibbling popcorn from a shared bowl.
“Assuming what exactly?”
Your lips are twitching as you hold back the nervous smile. Your eyes are avoiding his, staring at the padded out masturbation scene playing right in front of you.
“Well, first of all, you assume that I've ever orgasmed.” You clear your throat and steady your voice so it sounds strong and confident above moans and gasps coming from the speakers. “Second of all, to orgasm you have to either have sex or masturbate. In case you forgot, I'm not fond of physical contact.”
You indirectly indicate your virginity - you know Donghyck knows, even though it was never really said out loud.You’re not fond of the proximity with others and need wide personal space.
Because of your touch repulsion and Donghyuck’s liking for it, you two had a serious fight at the beginning of your friendship. When you first met at the start of the college, you quickly clicked, enjoying each other's company; talking for hours, fitting into almost every subject even if not agreeing about the topic, both of you ready to dispute.
That’s why naturally affectionate Hyuck freely hugged you a few times and impulsively touched your hand during heated conversation. When your calm cautions weren’t working you snapped, which made him hurt and you unnerved, you two not talking for almost a week before it took Renjun to convince both of you to talk out the miscommunication.
That actually brought you two even closer as you worked out how to balance each other's needs. Hyuck worked on withholding his touch impulse towards you while you learned to accept his affection when he asked to. After a year, Hyuck’s endearment became so familiar that sometimes it was you who came to him for a hug when you felt down, the fact he didn’t make a big deal out of it - as it was natural for him to be touchy with others - made you at ease.
“I admit, I assume that as a twenty year old person not having sex you touch yourself and - for your sake I hope - you are able to make yourself cum. So, do you remember the first time you came?”
You bring your knees closer to your chest, placing feet on the couch. It’s not the first time you talk about sex. Sometimes even you started the convo, being confused and asking Hyuck about intimate stuff you didn’t understand. It never felt personal like this one, though. You could say you didn’t remember but he knows when you lie - he once straight up told you your emotions are written all over your face and he can read you like an open book. If you didn’t reply that would mean you remember but are too chicken to answer.
“I do.” You say too loudly considering the small space, late hour and quiet noises coming from the tv. “Um...I’m going to get more popcorn. Wanna something to drink?” You ask, as if he’s not holding a bottle of water in his grip.
“Why are you dodging the question?”
“I do not. I already told you I do remember. That’s what you asked about.”
He frowns. “But I want you to tell me how was it.”
“Why?” you whine.
“Because I'm a curious creature.”
“But it’s embarrassing”
“It’s not. Masturbation is normal. I jack off too. Besides we talked about stuff like that earlier and you were fine with it.”
You make a sound to let out your awkwardness and frustration with Hyuck’s insight.
“It’s embarrassing for me as a personal experience, not a discussion topic.”
“Oh, now I’m intrigued. Tell me, please”
“No. I wanna treat my eyes with those absurd costumes so let it go.”
“Y/n.” He whines. “It can’t be worse than my first orgasm.”
You glance at him, suddenly you liking where this was going.
“You’ve never told me so I can't tell whether it was worse or not.”
Poor boy doesn't even hesitate.
“I jacked off after school because I popped a boner when a girl I had a crush on sat on my lap. It was the first time and I was so shocked when I saw how far my sperm shot. And then my mom came with the laundry”
“Oh.” Your eyes are wide open, you turn to the screen to hide your warm cheeks. “That’s interesting. Now that I know I can tell that mine truly wasn’t that bad. Thanks for the info though.” And just like that you put popcorn into your mouth.
“Hey! Now it’s your turn.”
“My turn on what?”
“Tell me about your first orgasm. I told you about mine”
“But we never discussed story exchange. You told me yours willingly for free.”
“Yeah, but… I thought…” He stutters. “Couldn't you just…” The boy falls back blue into his end of the couch. “Why are you like this?” he mutters.
There’s a shadow of betrayal in his voice so you risk a glance in his direction. He’s sprawled on the long couch (which he dragged to the flat specially for your personal space liking and got scolded by his roommate Johnny for cluttering the space) with a frown on his face, eyesight absently laid on the screen. Sight of the kicked puppy presented to you as evidence of hurt.
You sigh defeated.
“I came with one touch.”
“You what?”
“You wanna hear it or not?” Your confidence wavering slightly nonetheless you continue as he gives you an attentive look waiting for you to keep going. “I guess it was at the beginning of high school. I remember lying in my bed ready to sleep but I couldn't because I was really pent up and didn't know why and I heard that women masturbate too but back then it was weird for me and I didn't want to… touch myself down there. But it felt nice when I touched my thighs and abdomen and when I actually… you know.” He nods and you avert your eyes embarrassed. “I came right away.”
He processes your words for a moment before speaking up.
“How did you know that was it?” He asks with furrowed brows. “Like it’s easy for guys because you have visible evidence but how did you know what you felt was an orgasm?” Mother and daughter, the boy has more questions. “Well,” you take a deep breath. “I was confused at first. Really confused. It was literally electrifying and I know it sounds corny but that’s exactly how it felt. Like you know how fresh and ozon smelly the atmosphere is after the rainstorm? Like the air feels lighter and cooler? That’s how I felt. Am I too descriptive now? Stop me if I'm talking too much.” He shakes his head. “Okay... So when I touched myself again it hurt and then I was even more puzzled. It took me a few minutes to figure out that I must have came.”
Your friend looks lost in his thoughts. Although it’s not rare between you two you just shared a very intimate experience with him and feel slightly anxious about the prolonged quietness he’s giving you.
“Say something.” Donghyuck takes a long sip from the bottle he’s holding and then puts it back on the coffee table next to the couch. He makes himself comfortable, resting his back on the armrest to face you.
“So. I know it might be silly question but I’m not a sex spec either, especially when it comes to the women poit of view. But. Isn’t it usually and i’m saying usually because i don’t know for sure and i’m trying to get to know now and now when i think about it it’s rather a one time thing to know it so it’s not really measurable. And it probably depends also on the size of the thing but my point is that you said you came with one touch but I thought that it’s painful when you put something bigger than a tampon in your vagina for the first time and I'm confused right now.”
“I don’t know.” You cover your face with your palms, hiding blush from your friend when you realize how detailed this convo is. “I’ve never put anything there. I don’t use tampons. And when I said I touched myself once and came I didn't mean inside just… ugh…”
“Your clit.”
“Yeah.”
“So since that time you get off only by playing with your clit?” He asks surprised.
You groan embarrassed but don't deny nor correct and at that his back straightens up as he moves his arms onto his lap, fidgeting.
“You’ve never had anything inside your vagina like ever?” Donghyuck clears his throat and you just wanna leave the room to go find a ditch you could crawl yourself into. “I’ve basically just said that. Do you need a detailed description of how I masturbate?”
“Well, you gave me quite a pretty description of how your first orgasm felt. It doesn't hurt to ask.” You groan but feel slight relief when Donghyuck stays quiet after that. You turn your attention back to the screen in hopes of getting a grip of what's happening in the plot.
“Have you though…” Hyuck probs cautiously. Apparently the conversation hasn’t ended for him and it still had quite a potential to use up. “I’m sorry for this question and you don’t have to answer this one if you don’t want to.”
“Just this one?”
“Have you ever considered opting to have sex with anyone?”
“That’s a peculiar way of wording it, Donghyuck” You furrow your brows, tightening your hold on the bowl. “Why do you even ask? I thought you understand - at least partially - that I’m not physically able to do that, that's once. Second, It would have to be someone who I trust or at least like enough to want to… spend the required time with them. And with my social skills you know that might be a problem too.”
“That's doable though.”
You look at him unamused. “Not sure if I wanna hear the rest of this idea.”
"I'm just saying I think you're capable of making close relationships with people and being okay with people touching you,” he explains kindly.
"Hyuck…" you sigh. “What's your point?" Why the hell was he so persistent on proving you wrong?
"I just think you're a precious human being who deserves to feel loved.”
“You do know that people have different love languages, right? Like quality time or acts of service.
“Yeah. I am reminded of those every time I'm with you.
You frown at that "Quit fake flirting, Hyuck.”
“But I wanna know.” He wines, drawing slightly closer to you but still staying on his side of the couch. “I wanna understand. I get you don’t like physicall contact but it’s generally not only sexualy though so that doesn’t make you asexual, does it? Like we established that you masturbate so you feel sexual desire. Do you feel attraction towards other people? And like... what is going on inside your head?”
You exhale slightly irked with his proning. “If i admit I’m intrested in sex but not able to do it will you let it go finally?"
“Not really,” he says mildly. “I wanna understand you so I can be a better friend”
“But I feel like a research object” you curl up under the blanket hugging your knees.
You feel examined and even though it bothers you to some point, you’re curious just like Hyuck and the longer you think about it he’s the person you feel most at ease with. You do wonder about sex as it’s a closed book to you that you’re not able to read on your own. And you know your best friend has at least the basic experience. What’s more he never bragged about his sexlife, he was just casual about it - considering sex as a human thing. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to carry on this conversation?
You take a deep breath. “I do feel sexual desire and I do feel physical repulsion. It’s hard to get past it. Also usually I am not fond of people.”
“That I noticed when you bark at randoms who barely did you any harm.”
“Not funny. Anyway when it comes to feeling atracted to people I know when I see someone pretty but it does not mean i think about having sex with them. I guess my sexual needs are mostly impersonal.”
“That’s pretty much reasonable. So like you get horny when you see sex scene but you don’t get aroused at the sexual though of particular person?
“You could say so.”
“I could say so?” His eyebrows high above his eyes. He knows you’re not telling him everything but won’t question it. “I’m asking again just to be sure: If you were able to, you’d like to know how the real sex feels like, right?”
Your face is absolutely red when you weakly answer “Yes… But I’m not expecting it happening anytime soon and i doubt anyone would like to have sex with me in my thirties when my body will start to wrinkle so i’m kind of accepting living till death as a curious virgin.”
“I might have a solution to that.”
You look at him thrown-off.
“As I already said you’re able to do it. Just think about it. You don't have a problem with my touching - well, at least most of the time - and we’re best friends." his voice showing slight hesitation in the last words.
Your mouth feels dry and your head feels hot and whatever sound comes out of your mouth is undefinable. “Are you proposing me a sexual service or just stating facts trying to prove that the problem exists only in my head?”
He scoffs at your words. “I’m gonna interpret your rudeness as liking in peculiar foreplay.”
You both give each other attentive looks.
“Don’t make it weird.”
“I’m making it weird?” You ask in disbelief.
“I just wanna say that if you would wanna know what it feels like and if you trust me enough to touch you in that way, all you have to do is ask.” he says and his voice is sincere, not mocking, not even playful. It leaves you dumbfounded and he turns to the tv changing the subject.
***
It takes you a week to make up your mind. You do a list of pros and cons then shred it thinking it’s useless. This repeats three times. Meanwhile you attend your classes as usual, meeting with your friends between periods. This included Donghyuck, who acts as if nothing happened, which makes you feel like you’ve dreamed about this whole abstract-like midnight discussion. He greets you as always, talks to you as casually as ever and keeps his physical affection with you at the same level which meant always asking for permission for a hug and being cautious to not touch your bare skin when it wasn’t necessary.
That's why you throw out the first list, thinking his offer never had a place.
Two days after that night, you are having lunch with people from your group project who give fallacious ideas and reject yours without even seriously considering them. Fed up, you end up just sitting at the side doing notes while chewing on your food.
“What’s up” you hear Hyuck’s voice right before he’s not so gracefully placed on the chair in front of you.
“Hi. I’m busy” you growl and put another spoon of noodles in your mouth.
“Y/n. Didn’t I tell you that barking at people doesn’t make you seem like an approachable person?” He nags playfully, making you choke on your food.
Oh. So he remembers.
You take a moment to breathe and use it to get a grip of yourself.
“It was in the context of strangers, though. I didn’t know I needed to pretend I’m nice around my friends too.”
“Don’t limit yourself, y/n. Think out of the box.”
“Yeah, I’m trying to but you’re covering my notes, you wing sacher. Don’t you have classes right now?” you know he does. “I do." He glances at the watch on his wrist. “But I was passing by and saw you sitting here alone sulking and decided to say hi and ask for a daily fix of affection from you. High five?”
You put your hand flat on his not making it clap and hold it for a second. He smiles, when you don’t cringe as you usually do.
“Have a nice day, y/n.”
“You too, Hyuck.”
When he leaves the hall you pull out a sheet of paper and write the second version of your pros and cons list.
Another three days pass and you are being more and more convinced that you wanna take up on Hyuck’s offer. Also, your ovulation being right around the corner made you unbelievably horny.
You are in the middle of your art classes, standing in front of your easel, naked model facing the wall. Sketching the nude on your paper sheet you think His back is nice. The proportions are so symmetrical and the bright light makes it cast dark shadows emphasizing the muscles. It looks fine. Wonder if Hyuck has nice shoulder blades.
Your mind is silent for a moment.
Oh crap. Did I really think that?
Later that day you meet with your friends at Johnny and Hyuck’s place.
As usually on a wednesday evening you gather at your themed meeting. Every week one of you comes up with a word which becomes a subject for the next gathering. It could be whatever comes to your mind. Poppy. Vienna. Or Misanthropy. It was a key word which meant that for next wednesday everyone had to prepare cultural references but if it felt too indirect or you doubled with someone you were out, the rest of the group made you do some kind of dare. The winner of the game - which was a person who lasted till the end - was the one who picked the theme for the next week.
And even though usually you had lots of fun, today you were distracted ever since Hyuck greeted you in a hallway with a permitted hug. You place your arms around him, feeling his taut back muscles. Oh shit. You clench your fists feeling awkward with laying them flat on his body.
“You okay?” He steps away feeling you tense.
“Perfectly fine”
But you’re not even close to fine. The seed Donghyuck left in your head almost a week ago is growing and it’s making you go insane. After the fourth time he catches you staring at him you start to avoid his eyes at all cost which seems even more unnatural. Everyone, except you, is surprised when you lose the game in the third row.
“Looks like we get to know your weak spot, y/n.” You hear Jaemin say and get all hot at the thought he might have noticed you gazing in Hyuck’s direction. “You suck at geography. Especially it’s not hard to find info about Monaco, you know”
“Oh, no.” You exhale relieved. “You misunderstood my intention. I win so often I decided to back away this time so you’d have a chance to not be the last at least once.”
“Sure.” Jaemin gives you a grumpy look. “I dare you to not make a sound, starting from now on.” That's how you’re doomed to spend the rest of the evening in the corner, silently following the game, yet your eyes way too often dart to Donghyuck’s frame, espying his movements. The way his neck moves when he speaks, the natural movement of his chest sinking slightly when he sits, his fingers playing with the hem of the sleeve. The curious look with wide eyes and raised eyebrow that he sends your way.
You blush and your heart drops, heavy with realization that you’re indeed attracted to your best friend.
***
Next day, you head back home after your classes finish, taking your usual way passing by Hyuck’s place. >Hi. u home? (3:43 p.m.)
Lee Donghyuck >> Yup. y? (3:45 p.m.)
>Can i pop in? (3:45 p.m.)
> it won’t take long. Just a sec (3:45 p.m.)
Lee Donghyuck >> door’s open ;) (3:46 p.m.)
You knock on the front door to announce your arrival. When you open it you’re met with Renjun sitting on the couch.
“Oh. Hi.” you say baffled.
“Hello, y/n. How are you?”
“Fine. What are you doing here?”
“Math project,” he sighs, motioning to the notes scattered on the table. “At least I’m trying to.”
“Oh, that one for the contest?” You remember Donghyuck mentionig it last week. Their professor chose Donghyuck and Renjun to take part in a contest in which the winning team was provided an internship.
“Yeah but it’s so complicated,” he whines. “Like I don’t even know if the meta-system is still math.”
“There are people who say the universe is math and math is the universe,” you point out.
There's a loud noise when Donghyuck appears in the kitchen door frame. “Welcome, my dear.” He smiles at your furrowed brows and Renjun’s gagging sound.
“You could have told me you're busy. I can come another time.” “But you said it’ll be quick and it sounded urgent. I didn’t think you’d mind Renjun.”
You look up at him troubled. “Well, I don’t though I wanted to talk about... stuff.”
He knits his eyebrows clearly confused but before you can retreat he directs you to his bedroom. “Food is on the counter, Renjun. Give us a moment” he says before closing the door.
“What’s up?” He rests his butt on the little space he found on his desk and since the chair is occupied with clothes, he offers you a seat on his bed
You clear your throat ignoring his pointing arm. “It's about Friday.”
“Like tomorrow?”
“No. Like a week ago.”
“Oh.” He smirks. “This explains why you need another room.”
“Donghyuk.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll be good from now on,” he promises, hiding his smile.
“Thank you.” you take a breath. “So I was thinking about your…proposition. ”
“I’m listening.” Donghyuk looks back at you expectantly, as you stay quiet gathering your courage. He straightens up. “Remember that I'm the one who made the suggestion and I won't judge you whether you accept it or turn it down.”
“I wanted to ask you…” you start cautiously. “You offered to have sex with me. And I understand this is a friendly favour, but if we decide to actually do it, I would like to know if you... would actually enjoy it.”
He’s avoiding your eyes with a blush on his face. Mother and daughter, this is awkward. He stays quiet and you bite your lip, getting more and more anxious.
“I would.” “You sure? You can be honest on this one. I don’t want you to pull the wool over my eyes.”
“I know what I’m saying” he states.
“You can also call it off if you changed your mind.”
He lets out an exaggerated gasp. “Excuse me, I feel committed to fulfill my proposal.”
“That’s what I mean. I don’t want you to feel obligated. To anything” you explain.
“I won’t feel obligated as long as you won’t be awkward and uncomfortable about it.”
“I’m not uncomfortable.” You force yourself to shrug, hoping it looks nonchalantly.
“Then I don’t feel obligated.”
“Great.” You clear your throat. “Are you free on saturday then?”
His brows raise high to his hairline. “That’s in two days.”
“Is it too soon?” You hesitate. “I’m sorry, you might have plans already...”
“I’m free on saturday.” He gives you a wary look. ”Are you sure though? You don’t have to take up on an offer now. It doesn't have an expiration date.”
“I thought this through.” You nod assuredly. “Now that we established that we’re doing the deed we need to set the details.”
At that Donghyuck smiles incredulous. “Of course you have it planned.”
You ignore him, used to his teasing.
“Are you okay with doing it at my place? My roommate usually leaves for the weekend.” You nibble on your lip trying to not look around the room and ignore empty red-bull cans covering his desk, clothes draped over furniture, books and notebooks piled up on the shelves, windowsill and floor. Donghyuck's room is a five-star mess. “And I don’t want to intrude.”
He licks his lip, thinking. “I'd rather do it here if you don't mind. I have a bigger bed.”
“We need that much space?” Your face is hot and you know your cheeks are probably crimson red.
“Well, you never really know,” he shrugs. "It will be more comfortable, for sure." “And I can ask Johnny to have a place for ourselves.”
“I don’t want to make a big deal out of it though.”
“Don’t worry about it. He asked me that many times and I won’t give him any details. Is this set then?”
“Okay.” you say quietly and then repeat more clearly. “Okay. I need to work on my sculpture on Saturday too, so is it okay if I come around five?”
“I’ll make dinner then.” “Oh. So you wanna hang out before we get to the point?”
“We’re definitely hanging out first.” He says slightly taken aback. “First of all you'll need to eat after a day in the atelier. And I know you’re probably planning it in your head already but I want you to let me take care of it okay?”
“But I need to know,” you whine. You hate surprises. You have everything planned anything unexpected isn’t welcome in your schedule
“Isn’t it enough that you know I prepare something? Believe me that planning out the hook up point by point kills the mood.”
You grump but don’t question it. “FINE. Just remember I don't like mushrooms and seafood.”
“Wow,” he exclaims. “You really expect me to flex.”
“Duh. And one last thing. Could you … ugh. Take care of… protection? I’d do that but I have no idea which condoms…” “I’ve got this.” His voice is mild and slightly hurt, matching the solemn look on his face. “You don’t need to handle every detail. I promise I’ll do my best.”
“That's not it.” You quickly shake your head at the misunderstanding. ”I trust you. I just don’t wanna mess up my part.”
He sighs deeply. “You won't, okay? There’re no expectations of you so there’s no way you could not leave up to something that doesn’t exist.”
You smile softly at this caring side of Hyuck, not aware of the mood killer he's about to throw on you.
“Y/n”
“Hmm?”
“Is there anything specific you wanna try out?”
You gasp outraged. So that would be it when it comes to serious Donghyuck.
“You're literally the one who told me not to plan everything.”
“So you did think about it.” He grins smugly “Does my naked body look good in your imagination?”
"I'm leaving,” you huff, opening the bedroom door.
“Took you long enough,” Renjun says to the two of you. “Food is on the counter” he mocks Donghyuck. “Give us a moment.”
You look apologetically at him, heading to the front door. "You know how long it takes to deal with a baby."
"You might wanna call me that on saturday.”
"What's on saturday?” you hear Renjun’s voice, muffled by the food he's chewing.
Hyuck winks at you. "Kinder party for best babes only.”
You snort and roll your eyes, while putting on your shoes.
When the door closes behind you, Donghyuck turns to his friend.
“Dude.”
“What?”
“Can you dance?”
Renjun raises his brows not looking up from the notes. “For my and your sake - I don’t.”
***
You have been in the atelier since the morning, working on your midterm sculpture. Although trying hard, the work you’ve been doing so far was rubbish.
You’re a mess, mindlessly dragging fingers through moldable dirt. Chest heavy with guilt, mind obscured with doubt, mouth full of curse words directed at your phone. The damn phone call. Stupid, frickin stupid.
And the text Dongyuck sends you makes you let out a helpless sob.
Lee Donghyuck >> Can u wear a dress tonight? pretty please👉👈 (3:58 p.m.)
A shaky breath leaves you and you just stare, a sense of obligation landing hard on you when all you long for at the moment is comfort.
Lee Donghyuck >> I know it’s out of blue. It doesn’t have to be formal. The most comfortable dress you have will do great as long as it’s a dress (4:05 p.m.)
Lee Donghyuck >> And if you have dirty thoughts about it stop it immediately! It’s for pre-dirty time actually ;) (4:06 p.m.)
You numbly dial his number and he answers right after the first signal.
“Yo. I’m sorry I kind of surprised you with the dress, especially at this hour. But like i said it doesn’t have to be fancy. Actually I'd rather not have it fancy at all. “ You hear him shuffling something in the background.”I’m gonna spoil that I'm wearing a jumper so imagine how the simple dress would fit perfectly. Oh no, don’t break down now” He whines. “Anyway, why are you calling? I thought you’d be getting ready at this hour.”
You clear your throat. “I’m still in the atelier”
“Oh.” He gives you a surprised sound. “So you're not coming back to your place before you come here?
“I was planning to. Something just came up and I'm a bit delayed.” you say leaning your forehead against the cool wall. “ I’ll try to be on time though”
“It’s fine, just text me on your way so I'll heat up the food. Are you okay though? You sound upset.”
Maybe the call wasn't the best idea.
“I’m just a little tired. No big deal.” you assure, trying to steady your voice.
There’s a long silence on the line and you know Donghyuk is sensing your mood. You anxiously scrub out the dry clay from underneath your nails. “We can cancel today if you don’t feel like doing it” He states. And you close your eyes because at the moment you don’t feel like doing it at all. Yet you think about the fuss you made about the whole thing. Hyuck's planning and preparations - something he never really does. Even the fact he basically threw Johnny out of his own flat. Backing off now would be a dick move.
“No. I want to do it.”
“Shut it, y/n. I don’t need to look at you to know you’re not okay. Whatever pressure you feel to have sex right now is absurd. Let’s call it off.”
“But you’ve prepared. I‘m not standing you up.” Donghyuck can be an ass. At the same time he’s also the most devoted and caring friend you ever had and you won’t disregard his effort just because he puts your needs over his own.
“I didn’t say we’re not hanging out. We’re just skipping the sex part. I’ve spent three hours browsing the net for the perfect recipe, you picky eater. I’m not throwing it away. That’s unethical.”
“Indeed, utterly unacceptable.”
“I’m glad we’re one the same page now. Just come over.”
“Is the dress still required though?”
It takes him a while to answer. “It’s not. Just wear what you’re most comfortable with. Except your sculpting pants. I don’t wanna clean the carpet out of clay or plaster again”
“You know it’s weird how you claimed the dress is not part of the dirty stuff yet it gets canceled collectively.”
“Shady, isn’t it? Remember to text beforehand.”
“I will. And Hyuck?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry I messed up”
“What do you mean? As far as I’m concerned we’re still having a pleasant evening today.”
“Right.” You smile. “See you soon.”
***
“This is literally the healthiest food you’ve ever cooked.” You point out before stuffing the pasta in your mouth.
“Duh. The amount of tags I excluded is unbelievable. No mushrooms. No seafood. No fish. No olives. No eggplant. No meat. No beans and stuff. No heavy food.”
“You’ve made pasta, though”
“It’s not just pasta! Those are zoodles. To be more specific it’s called grilled ratatouille linguini and it took hella lot of time to prepare.”
And turns out it was kind of wasted. You clear your throat awkwardly. “Is this all you've been doing all day?”
“I mean I tried to work on a project. Renjun left me some work to do. But we’re stuck” he slurps a zoodle between his mouth. “So bad Renjun doesn’t even believe we could actually win, but we put too much work into it already. And this idea we have has so much potential, even the professor said so, it’s like disgrace to waste it. “Can’t you ask the professor for help?” you suggest. “Like not for a solution but maybe for a tip?”
He shakes his head and swallows the food. “We didn’t really want to do that but we were desperate so we did and he sent us back to the library for references. Renujn was upset because he thought he didn’t want to help but in my opinion he didn’t know the direct answer either. Like he’s usually pretty chill so I guess he’d tell us straight up if he could help.” He shrugs.
“You two need help in the library? I could help if you need extra eyes.”
“Sure.” He sends you a very doubtful look. “I appreciate it but I can barely understand what I’m reading while having at least basic knowledge in the meta-system.“ He sets aside his plate on the coffee table and leans back on the couch. “Besides, you have your own work. How is your sculpture by the way?”
“It’s okay,” you murmur. “Not really the way i want it but I’m working on it” you scrub mindlessly in your bowl. “It’s just a reproduction exercise so it has to be perfect and the longer you work on it the more shortcomings you see and the less imbued it appears. Usually working on a real life model allows you more creativity.”
He hums looking at you attentively. “How come you’ve never asked me to pose for you?”
“Guess it just never came up” you shrug. “Now it does.”
“You want me to draw you right now?”
He nods “Why not?”
“I don’t have my sketchbook.”
He raises his eyebrows at your weak excuse.
“You left one here two weeks ago and it’s collecting dust on my desk.”
“Oh. Glad I’ve finally found it.” you say cheerlessly, picking your plate.
“You found it?”
“Yeah,” you sigh, not having strength to keep up with the joking tone. “I’m not in the artsy mood, though.”
“Why is that?”
“What do you mean?”
“I won’t push you if you don’t want to talk about it but just know that i can be serious for a moment if you need me to”
“Oh.” you act like you just remembered a very obvious thing. “You wanna explain the dress right?”
“That's not what I said. And why are you so hung up on it?”
“I’m curious. You planned something - for you it’s equivalent to… I don't know what but for sure something big.” He shakes his head. “And I know I'm the one who ruined it.”
“You didn't ruin anything.”
“It’s rude to interrupt,“ you nag him. “Anyway it won’t be a surprise, so can you just tell me? Pretty please?”
“Not really. I could still use it later on.” he resists.
You’re confused for a moment “On what?”
He gets flustered at your surprised reaction.
“Oh.” he says slowly. “I mean I thought…. maybe i shouldn't assume that… but i thought that we’re only rescheduling today.”
“So you still want to have sex with me?” “Why wouldn't I?” He asks just as surprised as you. “I mean only if you’re still up to it.” he adds tentatively and then clears his throat, leaving the subjects hanging in the air. “Anyway we could make a deal. I can explain the dress in exchange for your mood killer.”
“You said you won’t push” you complain.
“I’m not. I’m offering a deal. Feel free to dismiss it.” he ensures, grabbing from you an empty plate and gets up from the couch.
“What a tease” you huff under your nose and follow him to the kitchen.
“Oh girl, if only you knew”
"Eww."
“You're ewwing me now? At one mild sexual innuendo?” his eyes widen in disbelief.
You ignore him, hopping onto the counter next to the sink.
“Okay, deal. What was the dress for?”
He laughs and for a moment you fall for it’s sincerence. He puts the washed plate on a washer-dryer and starts to scrub the greasy pan. “I’m not gonna let you trick me again. You go first and then I'll tell you the purpose of the dress.” “But you probably expect me to tell you something interesting and thrilly but it’s not,” you sulk.
“Dress isn't exciting either,” he heads up making you roll your eyes at his stubbornness.
You grab a washcloth, trying to busy yourself with something
"My dad called me today."
“And you were upset? Isn't that a good thing though? ” He inquires, still semi focused on the dishes.
“The whole phone call was absurd. Like it already started badly. My phone screwed up and didn't show my fathers name when he called. I didn't know who's that so when I asked who's calling he got all offended claiming I don't respect him.”
"You didn't recognize his voice?"
You shrug in an attempt to hide how much it actually bothers you. "He was drunk."
You glimpse at Donghyuck to catch his reaction. His face doesn't show anything and he isn’t speaking up either.
“Either you’re asking me something or we’re moving on because I'm not gonna dwell on the subject if you don’t have any interest in it.”
“I’m just trying to be considerate.”
“That’s new.” It’s not, but he lets it pass, used to your harshness in your defending mode. Sure, Hyuck teases the fair amount out of you and your friends but he knows when the conversation is serious and always acts respectful, knowing someone might get hurt.
“Was he right though? I mean you rarely talk about your father and I can't tell how you feel about him.”
“I don’t know myself. I know I should respect him, but I've witnessed too many situations ripping humans off of respect and ninety percent of those moments he was drunk. Then he straight up asks me this question in this exact state and says I know you don’t respect me. I don’t know why, and it sounds like it’s entirely my fault.”
“But why did he call in the first place?”
“To discuss the transport of my painting. You know, that big one.” You pause, reminded of the self doubt you felt a few hours ago. “He asked if it’s necessary. If I really need this since I won't do anything with it ever again and it’s not worth the fuss.”
“Just to make sure - we’re talking about the one for the exhibition?” You nod. “Maybe he didn’t mean that? As you said he was drunk”
You remember all those moments when you tried so hard to prove your father wrong every time you did something for him hoping for appreciation or waited for him to approve your accomplishment. To make him regret all the harsh words that shrinked your self confidence toward insecurity. All your plans are a failure. Nothing you do is decent. You ought to do something useful for once. You are bad mannered. Don't be so loud. And then you contrast it with him stumbling from the stairs, breaking dishes with uncoordinated moves, struggling to find restrooms, puffy red face, body stinking of digested alcohol, the stench filling up the room. Sometimes everyday. Sometimes a few times a week. Rarely once a few months. Making you wary of the look of your dad holding a beer, hoping it’s just this one, being anxious about asking friends to come over and panicking when family members were close by, even though your mom and sister were around no one felt like there’s a need to handle the situation and stop your dad from embarrassment and judgment.
“He does that when he's sober too.” You shrug. “I don’t even know why it upset me so much. I should get over it at this point.” The dishes are forgotten, piled up on the washer dryer. You just sit on the counter with a slouched back and blank stare. “ I don’t know, maybe I hope like a fool he’d be proud of me at some point.”
You stay quiet on how alone and doubtful you feel after talks with your dad, not letting Donghyuck know any of that.
“Just because your father doesn’t tell you he’s proud of you doesn't mean he’s not. Maybe he’s just bad at expressing it.” he suggests, wiping his hands.
“Nah, he can be very expressive when he needs to.” I hope the next child won't be born with a personality like yours. “I just miss him from the time when I was a little kid. When he was fun to be around. God, I feel like shit for slagging about my father like that.”
“You know that not everything he says is true right? Just now you’ve felt sorry for bad-mouthing your dad, but honestly there are a lot of people complaining about their parents but not really feeling bad about it. It's not easy to show respect to people who drag you down when they are supposed to support you.” he’s leaning on the counter opposite of you and for once you wish he was closer.
You wonder if it would be okay to ask for a hug. For the firm embrace, giving a sense of stability, so different from the playful hugs he tends to throw around. The one you’d come for with a tail between your legs seeking his affection.
You say nothing, not wanting him to pity you.
"I don't wanna be supported by default though. I want to earn it. It's like you won’t bet on a horse who's got no chance to win. Even if it's your own. You actually might not buy it in the first place… ” You pause. ”Am I a bad horse?"
"No. Some people are just bad gamblers." His voice is tender and it strikes you how sympathizing it sounds.
“The dress” you change the subject.
Your friend looks sorry for a mment, before shaking it off. He turns around exiting the kitchen and you follow him to the living room. “Hey, you promise…”
He interrupts you, noisily moving the enormous couch to the side of the room.
“What are you doing?” you ask, a little taken aback.
“Well” Donghyuck sighs from effort and pushes back the hair that fell into his eyes. “I thought... “ he grabs his phone from the coffee table and connects it with the speakers. “... that if the surprise won’t be surprising anymore as the reason for someone’s stubbornness and curiosity I might as well show you? If you don’t like it we could watch a movie later since i didn’t really plan anything else”
“Okay.” Your barely audible voice gets drowned out with the soft music. Realization hits you the moment you hear fancy tunes of trumpets and oboe.
“You did not” you gasp in disbelief.
“May I ask for this dance?” he approaches you and bows slightly, offering a hand.
“But like…. How do you know how to dance a viennese waltz?” He gives you a stern look so you obediently accept his hand.
“The orchestra won’t play for us forever. You shall make up your mind a little faster.” He moves an arm on your shoulder blade and the left hand to support your right, moving his feet to the fast rhythm.
“How did you know?”
“I might have eavesdropped once you told Renjun how you’d like to dance to Shostakovitch one day. Found it peculiar because: one, didn’t think you were such a helpless romantic” you open your mouth to argue “U-um. It’s rude to interrupt. And secondly to obvious closeness. But I thought that if you were okay with even more intimacy required to have sex with me then you’d most likely be okay with dancing. At least I hoped so.” he ends sheepishly.
You look at the now shy boy who’s scanning the room to make sure not to bump into any furniture, leading you on the floor, holding you steady in his arms but making you feel like you’re floating.
“I am very okay with dancing with you” you smile and squeeze his hand to affirm your words. “Do you have a tuxedo hidden in the closet too?”
“What a spoiled woman!” he exclaims jokingly, addressing your teasing and then swirls you around. When you look up in his face again he’s already ogling at you with a smile. “I didn’t want to make it too sophisticated. Like I said, jumper and plain dress.”
“Yeah, but jumper and jumper would work just fine.”
At some point you don’t even focus on your steps getting so used to the moves of the dance you feel like flowing with music. Being led by Donghyuck was a little uncoordinated at first, now it feels like your bodies are molding into each, both your arms being extensions of the other. The longer you two dance the more at ease you two become and you find him looking at you more often than around the room. Dance so easy and enjoyable you keep going dance after dance till the playlist full of Strauss and Chopin waltzes interlaced with some modern composers gets more mellow tones and your silhouettes let go of the pent up and proper posture. You allow yourself to get lost in solemn music, his smooth movements, comforting embrace.
He brought your intertwined fingers close to your bodies as his extended arm started to feel numb long ago and you lay your head on his shoulder to relieve your strained neck. Whatever you dance right now, looks nothing like the fancy waltz you started with, yet is just as - if not more - pleasant.
“Did I tire you out?” he teases mildly.
“No” you yawn, negating your own words.
He gently tries to back off.
“Just one more composition, please. It's so nice.” you plead mumbling into the soft fabric of his shirt. You're so relaxed and comforted, feeling all fuzzy with his strong arms embracing you, not really wary of his answer. So grateful for him just being, you'd be happy even if he told you he had enough of dancing. “The last one I promise.”
He stays as you ask, tightening his grip back on you. “You're the best Hyuck.” So thoughtful and caring. You wonder when and where did he learn to dance and if it was especially for you.
He really strived his best to make the evening special but not ripping you off comfort and homely ambience. You take a deep breath, filling comfy anchored to Hyuck’s side. His solid arm muscles under your fingers, familiar scent filling your nostrils.
You look up at him to check on his mood. Is he tired? Bored? You search his face for any wrong signs but you find nothing, just pensive eyes. You let your head back down on his shoulder and give yourself a moment to gather up the courage. “Hyuck”
He hums to let you know you’ve got his attention and keeps swaying to the soft music.
“So...” you start tentatively with a quiet voice “... does your offer still stand?”
You feel him tense for a moment but it’s so quick you wouldn’t catch it if your bodies weren’t molded.
“Yeah,” he nods subtly. “But it’s a long term proposal. Just because I offered it now doesn’t mean you need to accept it this week, month or year.” He’s quiet for a moment and then ads with a faint voice. ”And I’m sorry if by suggesting it I made you feel like your pushed to ever have sex with anyone. I just thought…. I don’t know… That maybe...”
He stops feeling you shake your head and then you squeeze his fingers reassuringly.
“I do want to have sex. With you.” You can tell your face is tomato red by how hot you feel, your heartbeat mirroring his racing one.
“Oh.” By the tone of his voice you know he’s smiling. “So you say I seduced you.”
“Duh. No one with a sane mind would want you. Only tricks work for you.”
He just grins, thinking the conversation is over but for you it’s not. You look into his brown eyes to ensure yourself in what you’re about to say.
“I want to have sex with you.”
“I know, I heard that.”
“I want it tonight.”
He stopped dancing and now you just stand in the middle of the room. He looks at you, quiet for more than a while.
“I don’t know what to do with this information.”
“Well, I think that’s pretty obvious,” you say, slightly wounded by his response. “What exactly is unclear to you?”
“I feel like I coaxed you.”
“I’m not that easy to manipulate, you know” you puff. “Stop it, Hyuck. We already established that I am sure and that I made this decision on my own and that I thought this through. We were about to have sex anyway tonight. So what happened?” You try to step away but he holds you tightly by his side. “Just a moment ago you said the offer is still on the table and now you don’t know what to do? Why are you so misleading, confusing, twisted, chaotic…
“Kiss me then” he says, but the bold tone is far from the soft looks he was giving you seconds ago. His eyes are examining, daring.
You know he’s testing you. Verifying if you truly want this, if you’re comfortable with intimacy.
“Don’t move.”
You lean up to peck his cheek and when you back off you manage to catch a small smile on his face before he swiftly hides it.
“I told you to kiss me.”
“I just did.”
“Do it properly.” He raises an eyebrow at you. “On the lips.”
You lick your lips nervously and his eyes dart down to catch the movement. You draw yourself closer moving your chin up, your arms on your sides - fingers entwined but chests not touching. You're so close you can feel his breath on your cheek and when he’s involuntary leaning toward you, you back away terrified of what ifs. What if he won’t like it? What if you have a smelling breath? Or your lips don't feel like they’re supposed to? What if you’ll mess it up by not doing it right? What if you won’t like it?
“Why won’t you kiss me?” you ask “I’m sure you’d do it better”
“I won’t kiss you first” he states and you stare at each other for another moment before you give in and lean up once more, this time more certain but hang right before his lips again. He squeezes your hands - it's gonna be fine. So you place a peck on his lips, not expecting them to be so mellow and warm enough to radiate heat all over your body.
He smiles widely and you involountery do the same, embarrassed by your first kiss.
“Hope you’re happy now.” You try to hide your face with your hand but he doesn’t let go of it so you bring them both up intertwined and use your forearm to cover your hot cheeks. “Gonna show me how to kiss properly now?”
Palms up in the air right before Hyuck’s face when he places a quick peck on your knuckles and forces it down, pressing to your sides.
“Keep practising.” He shrugs, not moving a bit.
“Hyuck” you whine.
“Yes?”
“Can’t you do it now?”
“Why won't you?”
“Because i’m shy”
“Since when?” He draws you to him by your hands, pressing your chests together. “Keep practising,” he repeats.
You sigh and give him another peck.
“Close your eyes,” he orders as if he is not inspecting you with his own.
“Ugh… I’m scared I will miss your lips.”
“So cute, '' he mutters. “You know..” he kisses the tip of your nose “... there are other…” you feel his lips on your cheek “... places to kiss…” his mouth on your eyelids forcing them close and you don’t pray them open when he stops milimetres from your lips. “Keep practising.”
So you do. One peck, then another and another. They are simple and short, as you're not sure how exactly to move your lips but Donghyuck lets you, patiently waiting for you to get familiar with the act, slowly ease into intimacy.
As you yearn for more, all the small kisses mold into one and he finally breaks. His palms let go of yours to grasp your face and he kisses you fiercely. First rushed movements show his impatience but moment later he balances his actions, lips confident but gentle, licking on your slightly parted ones, his thumbs stroking your cheeks tenderly. The act is so intense you move away to take a breath.
“Damn you, Hyuck. Took your sweet time didn’t you?” you pant.
He just grins in response and dives back in to kiss you.
You try to pay more attention to what he is doing, and not how lightheaded it makes you feel. Confident enough you lick the side of his upper lip, making him come back right after, hastily catching your mouth.
Your lips are swollen, cheeks rosy, pulse crazy and damn, why is this so hot in here?
Donghyuck nibbs on your lower lip and you instinctively part them, his tongue slipping inside takes you aback. You pull away startled and pray your eyes open to look at your friend with ragged breath. He looks troubled yet your knees go weak at the sight of his flushed cheeks and ruffled hair.
“I’m sorry. If it’s too much…”
“No, no. It’s not, you just caught me off guard.”
He rubs your sides soothingly and looks at you with those big eyes, pupils wide from desire yet his gaze is tender.
“Tell me if you want to stop.”
“I don’t.”
“But if you will...”
“I won’t”
“But…”
You peck his mouth and then place your lips in the corner of his and then another on his jaw. “Is this okay?”
“Yeah.” He affirms with a raspy voice.
You rush to trail your lips along his jaw, under his ear, his neck, oh so pretty neck. You’re definitely gonna draw him later. A kiss. His Adam's apple bobbing when he swallows hard and you feel him pull your face up to kiss you fervently. You kiss him back and when you feel his tongue once more on your lower lip you open it up and lick at his tip.
Bodies fused together, hands more urgent, kisses more heated. When his fingers softly brush against the side of your right breast, your breath hitches.
“Are you gonna invite me to your room like a gentle man,” you pant tired of waiting for him to move things forward “or you intend to fuck me on a couch in a living room?”
“Geez, women these days.” He rolls his eyes playfully. “So impatient and straightforward. No need to be vulgar, my lady.”
You pull at his hair to get back at his teasing, he hisses and then takes both your hands in his, guiding you to his room.
“Wow,” you say as soon as you enter it. “You cleaned up”
“Of course I did.” He sits down on the bed tapping his lap for you. “Though it’s a shame I’ve cleaned up the candles already.”
You stop dead just right above him.
“You're kidding, right?” But you sound sceptical. It’s not really like him to be into romantic stuff but after the dance he prepared you can't be sure of anything.
He just smiles, pulling you down to straddle his lap. You hasiate for a moment before letting yourself sit down.
"Yeah. Didn't want to overwhelm you with my thoughtfulness and generosity."
You mirror his smile and meet him halfway in a playful kiss. His palms slowly slide up your thighs, squeezing lightly at your hips eliciting a surprised gasp from you.
"Want this off" he breathes to the side of your neck, when warm fingertips graze your ribs and dip of the spine.
"It won’t disappear on it's own."
At your permission, he tugs at your shirt, undressing you. Mesmerized, he’s sliding fingers on your soft skin not covered by comfy bralette. Donghyuck looks you in the eyes and you shy away, hiding yourself in his neck. He pampers your neck with kisses, licking it occasionally, making you want more. You breathe hard and impatiently move your hips against Donghyuck’s. He mewls at the friction, grabbing your hips and guiding them closer to his again and again.
You feel so hot, your panties sticking to your folds every time they brush against Donghyuck crotch. He wanders his hands over your body, leaving burning paths on your skin and a tingling sensation in your chest.
“Touch me, Hyuck, please.”
He turns around laying you back on the bed. He looks into your eyes, placing a kiss above the hem of your pants and pulls them down together with panties.
“What do you want?” He asks, trailing his lips down your navel. You stop him before his mouth gets lower.
“Yours… Can you use your fingers?” You whisper, your heart pumping against your chest, hoping it doesn’t sound awkward.
He traces his palm against your body, feeling up your abdomen, hips and inner thighs. His lips move up, tracing dips and angles on your shoulders and neck.
“Donghyuck,” you say impatiently. “Just…” Your breath hitches. Simple touch of his fingers on your centre so intimate, so pleasurable you’re not able to think about what’s to come.
Your friend looks at you attentively, reading your face as he gently caresses your folds and circles your clit with his thumb. You’re caught up in his eyes and tender touch, as he slowly pushes a finger into you and it’s such an unfamiliar sensation your jaw drops in surprise. Your walls are tight around his digit, scorching compared to his fingers which moments ago were leaving burning paths on your skin. Finger moving against your walls and you breathe heavily, getting used to the feeling. Donghyuck pampers you with kisses and keeps checking on you when he slowly puts another digit in. You knit your brows and hold your breath at the stretch, making Hyuck withheld to give you a long and reassuring kiss. He doesn’t say anything - no comments nor praises- which you’re grateful for. You don’t need sugarcoating, especially not now.
Your eyes are locked when you’re bucking your hips, stretching around his fingers and he curls them, speeding up. You grab his shoulders tight, steading yourself, looking down at his movement you see veins on his arm and taunt muscles, his fingers disappearing in you. Your eyes roll back when he hits a spot inside you that makes your toes curl.
“Oh,” you let out astonished with the feeling.
“There?” His voice raspy, fingers aiming at your spot again.
And you just nod rapidly feeling a familiar knot in your stomach. He can feel your walls tightening, knowing your high is close.
Hair on Donghyuck's nape rise up as you dip your nails into his back. He's shivering when your breath hits his hot skin. Nonetheless he keeps his fast peace, supporting himself on the right elbow with fingers entangled in your hair, his thumb caressing your temple.
When you orgasm, you orgasm hard. A hot wave going through you, your muscles tense up, bending your body in half to the point you’d sit up if not Hyuck’s body hovering over it, keeping you down. Your chest is pressed against his side, his fingers prolonging your orgasm. Your back falls down on the sheets, buzzling in your head making you twingle, feeling soft at little pecks your friend leaves on you.
“How are you feeling?” He murmurs into your skin, tracing his nose against your collarbones, high up your neck. His voice sounds like it’s coming from behind the invisible wall - an effect of high blood pressure.
You just nod weekly not feeling a need to waste energy on actual words.
“Do you want to continue?"
You nod again and feel him smile against your cheek.
This motivates you to get yourself together. You push him off of you, shoving his back on the bed.
“Can I get on top?” you ask, slightly taken aback at how grainy your voice sounds.
Your legs are still wobbly and he helps you straddle him again with a little pout on his face. “Did I not make you feel good?”
“You just straight up strive for praise don’t you?” you tease weakly.
“I mean, that would be nice,” he says looking up at you, his hand hovering over your tights moving up to your hips.
“Sorry for neglecting that. You just gave me a mind blowing orgasm and i’m not mentaly alert.”
The blush emerging on his cheeks is so adorable it reminds you he's your best friend. What you’re doing now is a favor from him in order to make you expirience how the sex feels like. This intimacy you have now probably won’t occur in the future and your heart stings a bit when you realize how happy and gratified you feel right now. The sex, that for so long seemed so abstract and unreachable for you is so easy, effortless and unconstrained with Donghyuck. Every touch, every move is so natural and welcomed you let yourself enjoy the moment and make the most of it. You lean down to kiss him deeply. “Let me return the favour. Tell me what you need me to do.”
“Whatever you want to.” He kisses your cheek. “I’m all yours.”
You blush at his words. And as much as they make you flutter you’d rather not let them affect you too much not wanting to put more meaning into them than he intended.
“Why are you still dressed then?” you pull up his shirt and gasp. That's a sight to see, when the outline of his abs move while he’s throwing the clothing on the floor.
He catches you staring and smirks smugly. “I know, right?”
You suppose you should look away but his naked body is so captivating.
“When did you get those?” you exhale, moving your hand to touch him mesmerized.
“Johnny has been dragging me to the gym for the last few weeks. Hey, stop drooling.”
His teasing calls you back to reality.
“Aren’t we talking too much?" you ask.
“No. You’re the one who’s talking too much. I’m just answering to be polite.”
You frown at his words.
“Stop worrying. I’m gonna tell you if I won’t like it.”
Tentative at first, you start to roam your palms on his skin, focused on his reactions. Shivers when you touch his nipples, breath hitched when you trace your fingers right above the hem of his jeans. His neck is your favourite, extra responsive as you pamper it with kisses, caressing his muscles and angles with your fingers. Perfectly visible, reacting to every movement. You sight mesmerized and kiss above his collarbones and he wraps his arms on your waist protectively.
It’s only this one time when you're this close and the small possessive part of you can’t bear the thought that you’re not the only one touching him this way. That he’s not anticipating affection the way you do, as it’s innate for him. You get greedy, fully aware you're gonna regret this later you whisper.
“How does one give a hickey?” Donghyuck tightens his fingers on your sides “You don’t need to show me. I just thought that if we’re at that already I could ask? You can just tell me if you don’t want me you know…. to do it.” you stumble.
“It’s okay. I don’t mind,” he affirms. “Do you want me to demonstrate?”
You nod.
“Let me sit up”
You get off his lap for a moment, just to let him lean on the head board and pull you on him again. Your naked centre right next to his, you can feel his hard member against your tight. He leans up and places soft kisses on your chest, stopping at the exposed mound of your breast sucking lightly and licking the spot. When he’s done he moves his lips up your throat to the ear and whispers “Now you” nibbling on your earlobe.
So you get to work, tentatively at first leaving small hickeys on his chest and shoulders, careful not to mark him in any visible place. The heat makes you move your naked hips onto his, fabric of the jeans, making delicious friction on your clit. Hyuck emits a whine sending pleasurable chills down your spine. You lay your hand on his belt.
“May I?” He nods eagerly. When you unbuckle it, the action itself makes you feel powerful and small at the same time. Embarrassed at the dark spot you left on his crotch, you quickly tug down Donghyuck’s pants together with boxers to avoid him noticing how wet you are, not looking at him at all.
“Y/n”? His voice a bit shaky, as he’s now fully naked beneath you.
“Yeah?” You heavily let out.
“You can look at me, you know?”
“I don’t wanna be indelicate”
He engulfs your face in his palms, caressing your cheeks “I know you’re tactful but you make me feel insecure not wanting to look at me, I’d rather have you not being able to take your eyes off of me”
“As if. You’re too full of yourself to feel insecure” you pant, feeling his member slightly pressed to your center. You’re dripping, your walls are clenching and you try hard to comprehend your thoughts but you can't think. “What… what are we doing now?”
“It depends” he kisses you. “As for me, I'd kill to feel you right now. I’m so hard it hurts.” His voice low and hoarse, hand trailing down, thumb slipping between your folds and you buck your hips, gasping into his mouth “But it’s up to you what actually we’re going to do now.”
“I want to…” You drop one of your arms from his shoulders and hover it above his erection. “I want to feel you inside me.” He nods encouraging you. You awkwardly start tracing fingers down his shaft and Donghyuck’s body almost melts under you, he lets out a whimper as you move it back up to his tip, pleased with his response.
“Oh shit” he hisses. “Please, just…”
You nod eagerly “Condom.”
“First drawer” He instructs and you reach his night stand. Watching intently how he rips the package with his teeth and then handles himself pumping a few times before putting it on and rolling down his shaft. Sight of him handling himself makes you gulp, red head slipping between his fingers, you can feel yourself dripping down on his thighs.
“You sure you wanna ride me?"
Yes, you are. There’s no way you’ll just lay on your back and wait for your friend to put his meat into you, willingly depriving yourself of control. And even though you feel like you're groping in the dark, it’s not as awkward as you were worried it might be. Hyuck’s affection and understanding make you know that he won’t judge you. He gives you freedom in this unfamiliar and straining moment and you hope he won’t mind the whim of the little control you want. You look at him nervous but determined.
“If you let me.”
Your friend looks up at you, his gaze seems so preoccupied you wonder if he heard you. He places a kiss on your lips soft like a whisper.
“Be my guest”. His right hand slides down to his shaft, steading it for you when you raise your hips to move onto him.
When you feel his tip between your folds, at the entrance to your vagina, the realization hits you like a cold shower. You’re about to be penetrated and it’s definitely gonna be more than two fingers.
You look wide-eyed at Hyuck, and for once you're grateful he can read your every emotion. The hand from his member moves to your backside supporting you, while the other grabs your tightly intertwining your fingers as you use it as leverage. Your free arm wrapped around his neck keeping your chests close to each other as you slowly slide down his member.
You both maintain eye contact keeping check on each other. Sure, you’re the one having a dick inside of you for the first time but you’re in control which makes you obligated to make sure Hyuck is okay too. Even if you are not - and right now you’re definitely not feeling okay, stretching badly around him you keep moving down scared to draw back. When you placed yourself on him to the point you felt like you’d burst you hid your face in his neck breathing unsteady. You felt so extremely full and so overwhelmed. It doesn’t help that Donhyuck is soothing you, knowing you’re uncomfortable - all you could think about was the pain you felt in your lower half. So invasive and unnatural, you let out a broken sob before you could stop it.
Hyuck goes rigid at the sound of raw pain. “What’s wrong?” He immediately wants to slap himself because he clearly knows the answer.
“I’ve got your giant phallus inside me and you’re babying me,” you say defensively with a shaky voice.
“You want me to stop?” he asks worried, halting movements of his fingers gently rubbing your skin. Missing it immediately, you shake your head no.
“You can veto me if you want.” He places soft kisses on your neck up to your ear. “You can veto everything if you want.” You merely shake your head again and he kisses behind your earlobe “You’ve got an oil paint in here. Blue.”
Distraction, not sugarcoating.
“I’m sorry” It’s too loud for the moment, making you even more tense. Donghyuck kisses you again on the stain and moves down your throat.
“For the stain? It’s enchanting. For being mean? It’s titillating. Sitting on my penis? It’s welcome. Being in pain? It’s not something you control.”
He seems to not mind. He seems like he doesn't even notice how much of a giver he is when you only take and not give in return. He’s so good with you you feel like there’s no way you could give him back his kindness, patience and caringness.
So you're gonna give him what you can. If you got comfortable, even impatient and eager for his touch, familiar with his arms around you, fingers intertwined with yours, lips on your skin, then you can get comfortable with him being inside you. You are gonna make this as good for him as you can, screwing your idiosyncrasies.
When he covers your shoulders in kisses replacing the cold aggressive shivers you felt with warm and pleasurable ones, you push through the unwelcome sensation of being full. Stretching subsided significantly, you place a peck on Hyuck’s pulse as a little heads-up. Then you slightly move your hips up.
The moan he elicits startles you but nonetheless encourages to keep going. And even tough you barely move, moderatedly draging yourself up and down his shaft on your trembling legs, you know your friend doesn’t care for now, as he wshispers breathless “fuck”. He rarely swears in your presence as he claims himself old fashioned and refuses to curse in the lady's presence.
His lips move hastily to your cleavage and you begin to feel a layer of sweat on your skin.
“Hyuck” you pant. “I feel hot”
“You are hot, sweetheart,” he murmurs. Lips occupied, nibbling around the strap of your bra.
You just shake your head at his lame response, in too much hustle to address it. “Take it off.”
He eagerly croons, moving his fingers from your ass to the fastening of your bralette, you smile at him trying to struggle with it one handed since he refuses to let go of your hand to make it easier.
“I’ll give it right back” you assure. Your hips grind against his as you give your thighs a little break. He gasps at the movement and lets you unclasp your bra. He pulls it down right then, devotedly kissing the swell of each of your breasts.
“So beautiful.” Your movements halt, shy with adoration yet you feel sting in your chest instead of flattering. Paying extra attention to your every little reaction, Hyuck recognises your doubt right away. He finds your gaze. “I mean it.” Arms around each other. Deep kisses. Intertwined fingers. Your movements get more confident and precise. God, feels good. When your legs start to tremble, Donghyuck bends his knees for support, making you lean back. With another sway of your hips, he’s hitting a spot inside you and has you moaning. His hips buck up at the sinful sound you made.
Your movements speed up, your friend sits up to cover your chest in kisses, caressing your breasts with free hand. Thumb over your nipple sending strong shivers down your spine and when he places his mouth on it, your fingers squeezing his other palm tightly. Wary of your reaction he tentatively gives your bud a lick and then sucks lightly making you head spin. Your body arching, fully displayed for him as he worships it.
You’re both covered in sweat as your walls start to tighten around him, he moves his hand from your breasts down to rub your clit.
“Wait, wait, you say abruptly, forcing yourself to grab his forearm immediately making him halt his movement. “I’m gonna come,” you whine.
“Yeah, that’s the goal,” he whispers with a raspy voice, looking into your eyes and keeps working his fingers on you. It’s so pleasurable you feel your high so close your hips start to move involuntarily and you come clashing hard. Clenching on him, you drag out a groan from him. Your body convulsing, pleasurable shivers not only running through your body but running in it. Your head goes blank for a moment, you mewl a weak “Hyuck”.
You feel like you ascentended from your body, only aware of your friend because of your intertwined fingers and his soft rubbing on your clit. Although you still feel your high wearing off you move his hand away from your centre and weakly try to move your hips but now even grinding is too much for you.
“Hyuck” you start, sounding broken. He’s twitching in you, your walls pulsing around him and you’re hopeless. “I want you to come but I can’t feel my legs,” you whine apologetically and he hums trailing kisses up your neck. “Are you… even close?"
“Oh God,” he sighs needy in your skin. “I swear I’m about to come. I could simply jack off but…” his shaft twitching in you.” Can I take over, please?”
You just nod, eager to satisfy him. He helps you move from his lap, whining at your strained muscles and carefully lays you down on the soft sheets.
When his hips are settled between your legs, fingers above your head once again intertwined when he starts moving inside you. His thrusts more pinpointed than yours, dragging his member against your walls, quickly speeding up. His moves are almost desperate, grip on you firm as if he’d never wanted to let you go.
You shiver.
His mouth so close they steal your breath, swallowing the air you let out. His body between your legs, pinning you down, your skins sticky with sweat. The amount of stimuluses from another body is triggering. You freeze, unable to react, scared your slightest move would make you touch him more.
Though it doesn't make him disappear from above you, from inside you.
You feel shackled and you bite your lip to stop yourself from wincing.
Donghyuck is your best friend, the person who cares for you, the person you feel the most at ease with. The person who understands you or at least takes his time to get to you - if you’d ask him to stop he’d do it without questioning, putting your comfort over his.
However, him being your favourite person, makes you want him to feel as good as he made you feel, therefore you fight back your repulsion, shut down a screaming need to run away. You focus on his face, showing so many emotions you could spend days trying to comprehend the amount of passion this man’s heart can carry. He meets your eyes and slows down as if sensing something is wrong.
“Are you okay?”
You nod and avert your gaze, doing your best not to tremble when you bring your lips next to his ear
“Come, Hyuck.” your whisper is a little broken, begging. “Please, come.”
And he does with the next sharp thrust, letting out a sweet moan, you feel his seed filling up the condom. His hips erratic, breath heavy as you let him ride out his high.
He places the softest, most tender and caring kiss on your temple and although you longed for his kisses minutes ago, now, when you feel trapped underneath him, the lovely act suffocates you.
You want to get up, you want space. The need to tear off your skin in places where it touches him seems unrealistic but rational at the same time. There’s not enough air to breath.
You don’t mean to push Donghyuck off of you. He’s spent and you know he needs a moment to recover but you don’t trust yourself to stay like this any longer. “Let me go” your voice is strained, when you aim for it to be calm.
He worriedly gets off of you, careful when he pulls out and takes the condom off. You roll on your side, close to the edge of matters, preparing yourself to get up, feeling better at the cold air hitting your skin. So free. Open and vulnerable laying completely naked on your friend's bed with slight aching between your legs. You force yourself to shower but the moment you get up, your trembling legs give up, your knees bending as you slump to the floor.
“Careful” you hear Donghyuck. Your body gets alert when he grabs your arms to support you. Feeling your body stiffening in aversion, he pulls away sitting you on the bed for a moment.
“Did I hurt you?”
He sounds worried and you can’t brace yourself to look at him, so you just shake your head.
“How are you feeling?”
You tighten your lips because you wanna tell him how extatic the whole experience was. You felt loved and adored like you’ve never been. Perfectly accepted in your whole being. But then it stomped onto you. You lost grip on the situation and overreacted.
“Good,” you whisper.
He knows you’re not.
“Look at me,” he says.
You couldn't, ashamed of your selfishness. You wanted to run and rushed him to finish, when he was so affectionate and devoted to you.
“Please,” he asks again, lowering himself on his knees to your eye level. He reaches a hand out to you but you instinctively withdraw yours avoiding his touch. You look at him apologicately and immediately regret it, seeing his hurt gaze. You know you should grab his hand and hug him, yet knowing how to appease him, doesn’t make you do it. Right now you can’t bear the thought of touching him. You close your eyes.
“Can I use the shower?” you ask, itching to get yourself clean. At this moment being dirty and still feeling someone’s touch on you clouds your mind to the point you can’t possibly care about anything else.
He doesn’t respond immediately and when he does, he’s voice sounds strange, absent-minded like he’s disbelieving.
“Do you have clothes to change?”
You don’t. After all, all of this was cancelled.
You watch him get up, pulling out a long-sleeved hoodie from his closet and handing it to you. You put it on you when he’s grabbing other clothes for you.
“May I?”
At your nod he helps you up, cautious to grab you only by your covered forearms; he walks you to the bathroom leaving you at the door frame, handing you fresh clothes.
You only left him with a formal “Thank you”, before locking the door behind you.
***
Since the morning you’ve been working on your sculpture to busy yourself with something and keep your mind away from overthinking. Which didn’t really work.
Renjun showes up in the atelier in the late afternoon for your drawing practise, but the only thing his presence changes is the target of your nerves.
You frown displeased at another sketch you’ve made today. Messed up proportions, uncaptured movement of the body, wrong composition and clear anatomy confusion. Basic mistakes you’ve been making the whole day.
“What’s up with you today?” Renjun asks, clearly noticing your bad performance.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I'm not shaming but your work looks like shit. It’s like your first time with charcoal in hand.” Words not kind but fittingly describing your drawings.
“I’m just… having a bad day.”
“Bad day, huh?” Renjun gives you a side eyed look. “You know who else has been having a bad day for the last four days?”
Donghyuck, of course. The last few days have been like a constant feeling of guilt and uncertainty since what happened between you two on saturday.
You knew you messed up. You shouldn't distance yourself and push Hyuck away.
He made sure you enjoyed the evening and felt comfortable, fully adapting to your needs and wants.
Whatever you want. I’m all yours.
He made the whole night about you when you couldn't make it to stay with him for aftercare.
Don’t overthink. Donghyuck is just a very devoted and caring friend. It doesn’t mean that affection and kindness he showers you with is distinctive to you. It’s natural for him to treat his friends this way.
And even though shower did calm you down, cleared your thoughts, and purified that heavy, dragging-down feeling, you pushed Donghyuck away and now you should apologize and make up for it.
However when you came back to his room, standing in a doorframe uncertain how to begin an apology he was staring blankly into space lost in thoughts. You've made your way to the bed, quietly sitting on the edge.
Tentatively you slid your arm on the covers, but be withdraved his fingers before you could reach them.
It had never crossed your mind that he might reject you.
He never ever denied you affection, even when you were fighting. He never questioned your plea for touch, always happily welcoming it. So what happened now? Was it because you ran away so abruptly? Would you really hurt him that badly? Or maybe you’ve mistaken the whole situation? Maybe he didn’t expect aftercare since you're not exactly lovers? His sudden coldness in such a contrast to the loving demeanour he had just moments ago, made you feel so inappropriate.
You glance at him. He didn't look at you, his eyes blindly staring at the wall in front of him. You were out of place. Feeling of being unwelcome consuming you, but you didn’t really want to go, scared that if you leave now, you won’t be able to talk things out, making you two stay this awkward. Yet you knew it’s your fault, and you didn’t want to do more harm, therefore you were ready to leave if that’s what your friend wished for.
“Do you…” you cleared your throat after hearing your hoarse voice. “Should I leave?”
His lips formed a fine line, as you waited for response. He only spoke up when you numbly got up, looking for your clothes.
“Don’t go,” he muttered. “Just… just go to sleep. It’s late.” he said dispiritedly, standing up and disappearing behind the bathroom door.
Confused and lost, you cautiously laid down hoping tomorrow morning you’d be able to talk it out. But the morning wasn’t easy either. You both had bad sleep, laying for hours side by side on a bed too small for two people avoiding contact with each other. An awkward and heavy silence swallowing you as neither wanted to start the conversation out of fear of being dismissed. The night was long, as the feeling of guilt and uneasiness laid on your chest, taking your sleep away. You only napped a bit before the dusk, tired from overthinking and lulled by Hyuck’s steady breath.
He got up a little before you - the bed empty but still a little warm when you woke up. His absence caused a small sting in your chest.
He was in the kitchen, pouring milk into the bowl of cereal, when he spotted you in the doorway. Wearing your own clothes, bag on the shoulder, ready to leave. The awkwardness basically pushing you out of the flat.
He gauged you. “I suppose you're not staying for breakfast?” He had dark shadows under eyes, hair messy, his usually energized posture now slouched.
“I should probably get going. It’s late and I’d rather avoid running into Johnny.”
He just nodded.
“I…” you started, not really sure what to say. He didn’t want to talk. But you didn’t want to leave like this. “I’ll see you around then?”
He looked back at the milk in his bowl. You couldn’t see his face but wanted to kick yourself for how hurt he seemed when he gave you a weak “Sure.”
You left with a heavy feeling in your chest, doors closing behind you louder than ever.
Now you look up at Renjun, anxiety filling you up.
“Did he say something?”
“So it is about you two.” he says smugly, gathering his own drawings into a folder.
Oh. So he didn’t.
“Donghyuck just keeps saying it’s not my business when it clearly is. We’ve got to have shit done for the project and he's been sulking since sunday,” he complains. “What happened between you two?”
“None of your business.” You collect your pencils and tie them up together with rubber to keep them from scattering in your bag.
The boy pouts. “Could you at least talk it out? I really need him at his best right now.”
Sweet Renjun, always so selfless.
“Not really. He doesn’t want to talk to me.” You put on your jacket rushing up the boy with a firm stare.
“No way.” He gives you a doubtful look, but obediently puts on his coat. “Boy is such a simp for you, I won't believe he’s giving you the cold shoulder.”
He might have meant it in a playful way but his words hit a nerve. “Hyuck is not a simp. Especially not for me.”
Renjun raised his brows high. “You do realize he bribed me to teach him waltz the whole Friday, right? I wonder who he might do that for.”
“He’s a very good friend and has an interesting personality with a charming attitude,” you state, holding the door for Renjun and you get pulled with it by the strong wind.
“Sure.” He looks at you unapologeticaly. “Honestly, you two are sulking and it doesn’t do any good for either of you. You look like two miserable rolls of sadness.”
You sigh. Hyuck was a constant element of your life for the past two years and you didn't realize how it would look like without him. Of course, it’s not like you talked every day, at times when one of you would go to visit family or for a weekend with friends, you were perfectly fine with catching up after a few days. But this was different.
Then you knew there was an option to text him all call when you needed it, you knew that he was gonna come back and you’d spend hours talking your ears off.
Now? Even though you’ve seen each other on campus in the past days you’d barely acknowledge the other.
“Believe me, if only I could - I’d fix this.”
“So you’re the one to blame? If you’re ready to apologize, why can’t we just make him listen to you? Maybe if he knows you’re sorry he’d forgive you whatever you did.”
The problem is Hyuck has this pro-people personality, which means he’d rather avoid the problem than resolve it and risk that confrontation might do more harm than good. You sigh again. Sweeping the problem under the rug doesn’t resolve it.
“The thing is that considering what I think I did that he’s hurt about forcing him to anything wouldn't be fair.”
“You’re not sure what you did to hurt him?” Renjun asks, puzzled.
“Kind of?” Because you know - you neglected him. Though this was never the reason for him to dismiss you. “The thing is that when I wanted to fix it he rejected me.” Your voice breaks at the end. Talking about it with Renjun - even briefly - somehow made it seem more like a situation that actually happened, not just a dream you and Donhyuck miraculously shared.
When you stop at the crossroad you face Renjun and try not to squirm under his scanning gaze. “I know I screwed but he won’t even look at me,” you say with a shaky voice.
Why is he avoiding you? It can’t be just because you left. Did he regret he had sex with you? Was the whole experience bad for him or was it just you? Is it possible for your impressions to differ that drastically? You felt ecstatic when he thought it obnoxious? Would that be the reason he would treat you like that? Because he felt sorry for you? But it’s not like him…
“Hey.” You hear Renjun’s voice and notice his hand waving before your eyes to catch your attention. “I believe there's a way to make things right. Donghyuck isn’t okay with this silent treatment he gives you either. Besides, he likes you too much to let you go so easily.” His words are comforting but his voice strict, matching his next words “So either you two just need a moment to sort things out or you’ve hurt him like hell, and I swear if you did, I’ll dig a grave for you with my own hands.” he declares, making your heart heavy with guilt. “Now, let’s go. We’re already late.”
“I’m not going to guys today.”
“Bullshit.”
“I don’t think Donghyuck wants me there.”
Renjun gasps in fake outrage. “Thanks. It’s not like I want you to come. Or Johnny. Or Jaemin. Or Mark. Or… “
“Okay I got it.” You stay silent for a moment, nonetheless following your friend. “But what if it upset him?”
“I don’t care and I don’t know what happened but avoiding each other instead of talking it out seems to make it worse. Honestly, if you won’t come you will add fuel to the fire.”
“Didn’t you just say that we need a moment to sort it out?”
“For days is a hella long moment, for my liking,” he judges. “Stop scrutinizing.”
“I’m just humbly trying to follow your inconsistent guideline.” You shove your hands deep in your pockets to protect them from the cold.
***
When you arrive at the guys’ place there’s a lot of noise coming from inside and Renjun knocks at the door twice to finally hear footsteps approaching the door.
The thought of being dismissed by Donghyuck, unnerves you and you instinctively grab for your friend's hand to settle yourself, only to feel repulsion and disappointment. It’s not Hyuck, you realize - his fingers are longer and pleasantly warm, skin much softer, contrasting with yours dry from clay. You quickly let go of Renjun’s hand apologizing.
“It’s okay,” he affirms in a low tone. “I get it.”
You hear Johnny’s voice and then Hyuck opens the door. His smile falls at the sight of you.
“What’s up?” chirps Renjun.
Donghyuck just stares at you coldly.
“I didn’t know if you’d come today.”
These are the first words you hear from him since Sunday morning and you are slightly taken aback by how unfamiliar his voice sounds: hollow as if washed out of emotions.
It hurts but guess you deserve it.
“Why wouldn't I meet my friends?” you clench your jaw. “Just because you overlook me doesn’t mean I should ignore them.”
Okay that wasn’t nice either. Renjun subtly shoves your foot. Be kind. Didn’t he mention something about adding fuel to the fire?
You watch Donghyuck’s Adam’s apple move as his gulps, silently shifting his full attention to Renjun. It affected him - good. At least he’s not staring blankly at you anymore.
“Hay, man.” he forces a smile on his face and you get thrills at how sincere it seems. “Guys are in the living room. We’re having a drinking night today.”
You raise eyebrows in surprise as he lets you in. It’s the middle of the week so there is usually no alcohol at the gatherings.
“We have beer and vodka if you’re interested but if you want something else you should probably pop to the store before it closes.”
“Why so abruptly? Couldn't you text us?” asks Renjun, taking off his coat.
“Jaemin broke up with his girlfriend.”
“So we’re mourning or celebrating?” you inquire.
Donghyuck only shrugs, not even looking at you and walks back to the living room.
And as if you’re not feeling shitty enough, Renjun looks at bewildered and whispers “What the fuck did you do?”
For the rest of the night you’re dismissed by Hyuck which seems to not go unnoticed by your friends. No one addresses it though and the elephant in the room is eventually forgotten in conjunction with consumed alcohol and lazyly played out game.
Today’s theme is butterfly, chosen by Mark last week, because apparently “they’re both pretty and creepy”. The first round goes quite fast; people give the easiest references to use it up before others.
Mark starts with a Butterfly Effect movie with Ashton Cutcher and at that Donghyuck said “Butterfly effect, but the real one, according to chaos theory - Edward Lorenz’s Butterfly effect.”
“Yeah, yeah,” says Johnny. “You don’t need to remind us how smart you are.” He takes a sip from his drink. “Butterfly effect by Travis Scott.”
Renjun and you enumerate art pieces with butterflies and when you run out of Dali you proceed to Kush and Hirst.
Jeamin drops out first as he’s the most wasted and can’t pay attention to actually compete.
“Why - and I mean why - among plenty of insect superheroes there's none turning into butterflies? Spiders, ants, freaking vasps….”
“...ladybugs and papillons,” you interfere cheerily. “Miraculous Ladybug for my turn.”
You have to admit you liked this state. You were the joyful drunk type, booze making you giddy and loosening your tongue. That’s one of the reasons why you don’t drink often. You’re scared you might lose yourself in this carefree mood and get stuck, never drinking to the point when you weren’t aware of the amount of liquor you’ve been pouring into yourself. The fear of not being able to control your body and behavior creeping on you, effectively keeping you in check.
“Then I’ll go with Barbie Mariposa'' says dreamly Johnny. “She’s soo cool. I wanna have her sparkling wings. They would leave a path of glitter wherever I go. So spectacular.”
“Dude, you’re too heavy even for whale wings” Mark points out after drowning down shots with Renjun.
“Whale’s wings are fins and they have totally different functions.” frowns Renjun.
“Duh. That’s why they call it homologous organs.”
“Not really, arms are homologous actually, wings are…”
“I wanna be a fairy!” whines Johnny.
“Then maybe stop bulking up,” advises Mark.
Johnny firmly shakes his head with tight lips, displeased. “No, no. No. I succeeded in earning Hyuck abs. If I gave up now I’d lose the accomplishment.”
“You’re shitting me,” exclaims Renjun. Even Jeamin props himself up from the floor to have a good look at boys. “I want to see.”
“Excuse me?” Donghyuck nearly chokes on the beer he’s been sipping since you came.
“Why won’t you show off your muscles hmm?” taunts Jaemin. “It’s just us.” He maneuvers his hand around the room and stops at you. “Oh, right. Our prude can close her eyes if she minds the sigh of a human body.”
You huff.
“You still haven’t got a dare right?” you ask, bitter at the memory of the Saturday night. “It was really nice not being able to talk last week, so have fun with that.”
The boy frowns and lies back down on the floor hiding his head on the elbows. “Buzzkill.”
“Hush. Jaem. You’re not allowed to speak,” says Donghyuck, not looking at you. “It’s my turn.”
And this is how the game goes. Songs and books are being cited, Johnny and Mark lost one by one, failing to properly cite Papillon book and its movie adaptations, passing the turn to Renjun.
“Butterfly waltz,” he says.” By Brian Crain”
Your body weighs down with a sour reminder of sweet dances with Hyuck in the living room. You want to look at him, check if he thinks about it too. You restrain yourself. You’d be hurt if he wouldn’t and it would be awkward if he would. Instead, you glance at drunk Renjun who quickly catches it and winks at you before shifting his eyes back to Donghyuck.
“So?”
“I don’t know,” answers the boy with a distant voice. “Pass”
“It’s a dare then” Renjun claps his hands joyfully. “You know, Johnny really intrigued me with those abs of yours. Mind taking off your shirt?”
Hyuck clenches his jaw displeased but nonetheless complies, grabbing the shirt on his back and tugging it through his head. You avert your eyes, trying not to stare when Mark whistles softly. “Nice job, Johnny.” “I believe you mean muscles,” says Johnny, collecting Hyuck’s shirt like a trophy and putting it rolled under his head. “God knows, hickeys are not mine.”
You look mortified at Donghyuck. His skin is stamped with fading - but still visible - marks you left on his chest in places you thought no one would see. Guess you were wrong. You look up and meet his expecting eyes. His gaze hurt but distanced as if saying Are you proud of yourself?
You stand up, too frantically - you get light-headed. Your friends joke around as you go to Donghyuck’s bedroom to grab him something to wear. There’s no trace of tidiness from a few days ago. Pencils scattered on the desk along with open books and notes spread out on the floor. You grab the only folded clothing in your eyesight from beside the unmade bed, recognizing it as the hoodie he offered you the last time you were in here. It looks just like you left it on Sunday morning and your heart shrinks with the sorrowful feeling.
You come back to the living room, handle Donghyuck the clothing which he accepts grudgingly, shivering as the goosebumps cover his skin. He’s met with loud protest from the guys when he pulls it on.
“Shut up,” you nag them, averting your gaze from his body. “You dared him to take off his shirt not to freeze off his ass.” You sit back at your place on the floor next to Renjun. “Moron” you murmur angrily.
“You won’t believe it but I have a theory why you two are on not talking terms.” He adjusts to your undertone letting guys unconsciously cover it up with their loud antics. “I think you’re jealous…”
“I’m not jealous,” you protest.
“...Then I think you’re mad at Donghyuck for getting laid. Though it has a bunch of missing points - like shouldn't you be the one giving him the silent treatment then? Nevertheless it still seems more likely than the other theory in which you two finally slept with each other but it didn’t end up well.” He takes a sip from his drink.“But this one has one hella big black hole which is you having sex.
You clench your jaw, irritated at your meddling friend. “Alphonse Mucha’s Dance from 1898,” you say, trying to drop the subject, however Renjun just stares at you with a tilted head, a drunky-curios look on his face. Then he raises his eyebrows hiccuping.
“Pass.” He gives up the game letting you win. “So, tell me the truth. You did it, didn’t you? I know you’ve been hanging out together on Saturday.”
“And how does it differ from other times we hang out together?”
“I don’t remember. It made sense in my head just now.” He furrows his brows trying to think past his drunken state. “Oh. Johnny mentioned Hyuck wanted a flat for himself at that time.”
“You’re wasted.” You reach for the cup in his grasp..
“But…”
“No. You’re barely sitting straight.” You flinch at how uptight you get as you start to sober up. You hate mothering your friends but you don’t want to see them puking their own clothes. “You’re gonna have a massive hangover tomorrow.”
“Not cool.” He pouts. “You restrict my liberty.”
“Have fun then.” You give him back the cup and get up. “Sorry for suffocating you.”
You sigh tiredly leaving the room to hide in the kitchen, knowing the boys are drunk. Usually you play along with your friend’s teasing and understand social aspects of alcohol but it takes its toll on you to be around hammered people. Some levels of intoxication were giving more harm than fun.
You close your eyes. You mean well. It just doesn’t end up as intended so maybe you shouldn’t interfere? After all you’re all adults and you believe your friends can keep a level head. Yet somehow Donghyuck cares for their friends and still manages for people to not see him as prude and up-tight. You cover your face with palms, sighing. “What is wrong with me?”
“Y/n?” you hear his mild voice and look up. He’s standing in the doorway, keeping you at distance, nonetheless his eyes wide with concern.
Apologize. He’s here waiting for you to speak up. Say you’re sorry.
“I…” you hesitate, as he meets your gaze. You miss him. Your talks and nights spent together on the couch with a movie playing on the tv. You miss his brilliant insight and playfulness. For the past few days you were missing his touch - something you’d never think about before. You were feeling like the moment he’ll speak up to you, you’d ask for his daily hugs for all missed days. Though now when you’re standing with him one on one, his presence is enough. In fact it’s more, so much more you don’t want to let it go, not daring to stampede him by bringing up that night. “... just wanted to grab some water.”
He stays silent, gauging you as if figuring out. He doesn’t say a word yet you feel small under his gaze.
“I better head off.” You place a random glass in the sink, pretending you just emptied it. “How are guys?”
“Wasted. They won’t even notice if you’ll go”
“I don’t want them to … misunderstand it.”
He hums and thinks for a moment. “I didn’t hear what Renjun told you but I’m sure he’ll regret it when he sobers up.”
“It’s not only him.” You shake your head. “Jaemin is right about...”
“Tonight he’s extra mean to everyone.” Donghyuck points out with a calm voice. “But if you really want to, I'll excuse you. Is your roommate coming to get you?”
You wrap your shoulders around yourself. “Yeah,” you lie.
He raises eyebrows and straightens up. “For sure she is.”
You frown. “But I’m not drunk anymore.”
“Irrelevant. It’s the middle of the night and that's highly irresponsible” he huffs at you, heading to the door to grab his jacket.
“Stop it. I’ve been coming back home at night by myself plenty of times,” you remind him. “I’m going alone. If you walk me you’d be the one coming home by yourself and that’s ridiculous.”
“I’d rather…”
He’s interrupted by the sound of shattering glass and Johnny's theatrical call “We have an emergency, nurse!”
“Looks like you’re more needed here.”
He tightens his lips in a firm line.
“Oh, fuck! Now it’s actually an emergency.” you hear Mark’s high pitched voice.
You raise your brow.
“Just... let me know when you’ll get home.”
You put on your own jacket. “If I won't forget.”
“I’ll call you in twenty minutes and if you won’t pick up I’ll start searching through ditches.”
“I’d already be dead, it would make more sense if you’d wait ‘till morning.”
“Y/n,” he demands sternly.
“I promise I’ll text,” you assure. “Night, Donghyuck.” You close the door behind you, shutting down yells coming from the living room.
***
After you leave Donghyuck goes back to the guys to get rid of the shattered glass and wrap up Jeamin’s fingers.
“You suck at it.” Mark comments, truthfully - Donghyuck does it messily, his hands shaking when picking the glass from broken skin.
“Yeah, I’d rather have a pretty nurse treating my wounds.” Jaemin pouts. “Where’s y/n?”
Donghyuck clenches his jaw. “You were a dickhead and she went home. Stop. fucking. wincing.”
“I wasn’t more of a dickhead than you. You’re just jealous I got balls to call her pretty, asshole.”
“I swear I’m going to push those pisces further in if you won’t shut up.”
“To be fair,” interferes Mark - the only person besides Donghyuck sober enough to care about Jaemin's state. “You both acted like jerks. And y/n would take care of it more thoroughly and way faster, actually”
Donghyuk huffs. “Great. If you hurry you might catch up to her before she gets kidnaped on her way home.”
“Hey, you're not the only one worried she's coming back on her own,” oposses Mark. “Maybe if you weren't ignoring her the whole night she'd stay.”
Donghyuck's phone vibrates in his pocket and he quickly pulls it out to read your message.
Stoneheart softie ❤️>> I’m home. (1:49 a.m.)
“Oh God,” exhales Mark, looking over Donghyuck’s shoulder. “Stoneheart softie with a heart? How smitten with her are you?”
Stoneheart softie ❤️>> are guys alive? (1:50 a.m.)
“I am not. Back off, will you?” Donghyuck raises eyebrows at Mark, ignoring the knowing look he exchanges with Jeamin.
> a little too alive for my liking. Don’t worry and go to sleep. (1:51 a.m.)
Stoneheart softie ❤️>> hope you’ll manage them. Night (1:51 a.m.)
Donghyuck puts down his phone and shifts his gaze to meet his friends’ suggestive looks.
“What?”
“Nothing.” Mark exhales. “Just... don’t screw it up.”
“Because from what we’ve seen today you’re fucking nailing it,” adds Jeamin and reaches out his wounded palm back towards Donghyuck.
***
Two days later, on Friday afternoon Donghyuck is knocking on your front door. He knows you’re home even though you’re not answering - he’s seen the dimmed light in your window from outside of the building.
The idea of meeting you makes him nervous since he’s not sure how to act around you. Even though you talked two days ago, he knows that tip-toed conversation won’t fix this awkward mess you’re currently in. And although he knows that this distance between you two is mostly his fault, it's initiated by you, which for him is a big question mark on how you see this relationship.
He knocks on the door again, anxious at why you’re not answering. Did you really not want to talk to him? Every time he’s seen you on campus this week you’ve been avoiding his gaze and even though you seemed fine, your smile faded and the shadows under your eyes got more visible every day. Donghyuck supposed he didn’t want to talk to you either and yet here he was. He was mad and hurt you ditched him that night but he missed you too much to give up on you. He wanted to talk to you, experience your coltish playfulness and wit, listen to your exuberant rants about art and again feel familiar to you.
You were a very closed up person and the last few days were a cruel reminder of it. You were way more open and free-hearted around him than when you two were among your friends. Not being able to experience your unrestricted self made him feel left out. He couldn’t stop thinking about artists you discovered this week, books and articles you’ve read, anecdotes you gathered and small jokes you’ve made through the day.
“Fuck,” he curses under his breath. What was he even thinking when he offered you sex? Was he really that greedy that suddenly the time spent with you wasn’t enough? If he knew how it’d turned out he would never bring up this stupid idea.
He hears quiet shuffling behind the door and looks up.
“You know I can hear you, right?” he says feeling silly talking to the door. “And I see you through the peephole.”
“Why are you here, Donghyuck?” your voice is muffled.
“Why are you pretending that you’re not?”
“Can you come some other time?” you suggest.
Donghyuck is taken aback by your response. He knows he’s been cold to you lately but is it really that bad that you don’t want to let him in?
He sighs and looks down at the album he's holding. “Renjun sent me to give you back this book about Abakanowicz.”
“It’s Abakano-vitch, not Abakano-witch.” you correct him reflexively. You clear your throat awkwardly. “Couldn’t he come himself?”
“He dodged me when I asked that.” What exactly happened was Renjun throwing the book at Donghyuck after he let out another sigh that afternoon. His friend, wanting to work efficiently, lost his patience and shoved him out of the flat with curses and instruction to “give it back to y/n and don’t you fucking dare to come back until you’ll get everything done.”
You’re both silent, waiting for the other to let go.
“I’m gonna open the door. Can you just leave it on the console?”
He clenches his jaw. “Sure.”
He hears you unlocking the door and subduing footsteps as you move away. He enters the flat and places the album on the furniture standing by the wall, looking around but can’t see you in the room. At least you still trust him enough to let him into your flat, he thinks bitterly.
Out of spite, he opens the front door once again as if to leave but he closes it right away, staying in the flat and waiting for you to come out from wherever you’re hiding.
After a moment you waddle out of your room, faltering at the sight of him standing across the living room. You’re wrapped up in a weighted blanket you got from Hyuck after your first fight to make you “get used to hugs”, hood tied on your face leaving out only your puffy eyes and red nose.
“I thought you left,” you stammer.
He feels his features soften at your cracking voice, sounding like a bad recording.
“I wanted to check up on you,” he lets himself give you this half-truth, because that was the plan... initially.
“Well, I’m alive” You turn away from him, hiding your red face and taking down your hood in an attempt to look decent. You take a deep breath. “Thanks for caring though.”
This… is bad. Donghyuck never saw you crying and looking at you right now feels wrong. No matter what happens you just don't cry - you didn’t when you’ve been writhing in pain when you had acute appendicitis nor when your rat died.
Your friend’s perturbed by your tears, standing frozen and trying to figure out how to handle them. He does a quick math to ascertain your mopey state is your upcoming period doing. He knows how down you tend to feel when your hormones are having a party in your body, as you decline his offers to hang out and stray from your hobbies - those are situations he knows how to deal with. This is just way harder.
“Do you need to talk?”
You stare back at him with a hurt face and he doesn’t dare to look away.
“I do.” you nod. “About Saturday.”
Donghyuck licks his lip nervously. Is he dreading the conversation - yes, but he also feels slight relief. You’re a problem solving person, therefore you wanting to talk it out means that you care and that whatever is happening with your relationship bothers you too.
“I understand you feel resentful towards me as I owe you an apology,” you start, and Donghyuck is slightly thrown off with your formal tone. “What I want to say is that… There’s actually a lot to say. But I want you to know that I am sorry I ran away and I regret it so so much because it was inconsiderate and selfish, especially that I acted this way towards you,” you confess.
He’s staring at you, displeased by your described apology. He doesn’t doubt your sincerity - he’s just hurt at how filtrated and thought-through it feels. You keep him at a distance like you’d want to forget you spent the night together. Like you want to erase your friendship back to where it was months ago.
“But you’re very important to me therefore I need you to know that you didn’t deserve to be treated the way I acted” your voice wavers. “And I hope you forgive me.”
Conflicted, he shifts his gaze away from you - your glossy eyes pacify the rage caused by your words and cold demeanor. He wants both to scream at you and engulf you in a hug.
“I think… that if you still want us to be friends, it would be best to forget about it.”
Your lips part slightly as you stare at him, bemused by his harsh response.
“I will go now. Sorry for barging.”
You need a second to collect yourself before you rush to the door, stumbling on the long blanket, to block his way out.
“No. You don’t” you frown at him stubbornly. “You stay here until we talk it out. Miscommunication is the most common reason for ruined relationships and I’m not letting ours go because you wanna act like nothing happened. I know you’re not telling me something. There’s no way you don’t care at all.” you sigh heartbroken. “I’m so lost. I tried to understand but I can’t comprehend this. How could you be so tender and caring and next moment you’d barely acknowledge me. Was it an act? So I would feel loveable for once?” You stop dead and Donghyuck can see on your face how you're trying to rebuild the walls around yourself, gathering back the emotions you just let open for him to see. “Can you be honest with me, please? At least I wanna know what you actually meant that night.”
He looks at you disbelieving how you can doubt him. The puzzled and broken look on your face proving you’re not aware how he feels about you makes him lose his patience.
“I got hurt,” he simmers, looking at you intensely. “I adore you and I felt delighted that you decided to be intimate with me. Everything I said and did was sincere. I would never act on that. God, I don’t even think I could,” he exhales, taking a step back. “If anything, I let myself be more frank than I ever had around you. And you… You were so intimate and exposed I felt like I experienced raw you - open up down to the core. The tenderness behind your adamant demeanor, dedication behind persistence, tactfulness behind harshness. Your pursuit for the best being your whole… I let myself believe that perhaps you might like me a little bit more than a friend.”
He swallows hard, thinking how you showed him another side of you he didn’t know he wanted to know - the loving kisses you bestowed him with, tender touch on his skin, attentive eyes scanning his body like it’s an artwork. How he’s the only one you’re comfortable with touching and you let - you wanted - him to touch you everywhere. Maybe it wasn’t that meaningful to you, maybe those were just hormones? “One moment we were making love and the next you were backing away and flinching under my touch. At first I thought I hurt you. However you simply walked out and locked yourself in the bathroom. Dismissing me like a damn toy.”
You look into his eyes, an unconscious pout forming on your face. “I freaked out,” you say quietly. “And I didn’t want you to see it. That’s why I ran away.” You rub your face and hold your palms over your cheeks. “It was so… intense. Both mentally and physically. And when you… when we… “ a blush emerges from behind your fingertips.” Um… at the end the feeling was everywhere inside and out and it was so absorbing. You were so close, I felt you and I couldn’t move. Actually I could hardly breathe and my body was getting numb…” you sigh hopelessly. “I didn’t know how I'd react and didn’t want to snap at you.”
“Why didn't you stop me?” he asks, letting out a trembling breath. Your behavior now seems abstract-like considering the fact that he was violating you causing your panic attack.
“I didn’t want to.”
“What the hell, y/n?” he whispers bewildered. “I abused you”
Your eyes widen at Donghyuck’s conclusion, stumbling after him as he moves to the window, opening it to let in the col air. His head and chest are boiling and he wants to throw fists at himself for hurting you. It didn’t matter if you asked him to sleep with you. He knew you well enough to know you’re too prideful and stubborn to back away even if you’re disturbed.
The fresh nighty air cools your raging bodies. He feels your presence right next to him, not even looking at you. You’re standing too close but now even if you’d move to the other side of the room Donghyuck would feel like he’s invading your personal space.
He takes a step back.
“It was like... running, I guess?” your voice is barely audible. “You know, when your body revolts yet you wanna keep running anyway because you just know that that’s what you want.”
“Are yo seriously comparing sex with me to running?”
“Well,” you shrug. “I really like running - you should be flattered.”
He gasps, unbelieving how you can be joking right now.
“This is serious, y/n. I violated you…”
You shake your head firmly. “Donghyuck. Donghyuck, look at me.” Your voice is more demanding, making him commply. He looks up at your determined eyes.
“You think someone could take advantage of me? You’re right. But you’re also foolish to think I’d let that happen again.”
He furrows his brows, confused.
You lick your lips nervously. “When I was in high school I used to travel by train a lot for my pre-exam painting course. One Saturday I was waiting at a railway station after classes, watching a movie on my phone. It was a minor station so even though it was the middle of the day it was mostly empty, only a few people sitting across the track. As I was waiting there, a man approached and sat on the other end of the bench. Like I said there were no people so I was puzzled why he didn’t sit on one of the free benches. Nonetheless I said nothing because he looked slightly… abandoned by people and lonely and I didn’t want to be rude.” Your voice hangs for a moment. "I was watching a movie with my earphones on so it took me way too much time to notice he was jacking off, staring at me, objectifying.” Donghyuck is distraught by your words and what you say next makes him feel sick and angry. “He didn’t even touch me - his obnoxious moans, hollow sound of his hand pumping his erection, lustful and piercing gaze made me despise myself for not reacting earlier, for letting him use me without me knowing, for being so freakin oblivious.” Your voice loses stability for a moment as you reconstruct the memory.
He opens his mouth.
“Wait, I’m making a point here.” You exhale, your breath shaky. “You made me feel a lot of things. Passion, desire, easement, acceptance... I’m not saying this is how you feel about me - this is how I felt - so loved it overwhelmed me but so good I wanted you to feel as close to this as possible. And I’m sorry it turned out like this but believe me you did not do anything i didn't want to nor harmed me in any way.”
Donghyuck swallows hard trying to find the right words to say, as you stare at him biting your lip waiting.
“Are you still angry with me?” you ask in a low tone.
“God, no.” His voice mild yet tired as he compulsively takes a step toward you. “No. And I’m sorry for rejecting you that night. I shouldn’t have jumped into conclusions…”
“Then can we hug?” you plead.
“Oh, yes.” He exhales, weak for any form of affection you’re willing to give him. “Yes, please.”
He strides towards you, fitting in your tight embrace. Wrapping his arms around you, embossing, he feels your pulse and heat radiating from you, even though your palms carry their usual coldness. Donghyuck contently tightens his grip and feels you squeezing him back.
“I missed this.” your voice cracks at the end.
“Stop crying, crybaby. We’re all good,” he murmurs in your ear.
“About that." You squeeze his sides, snuggling your head in the crook of neck. “Do you accept refunds?”
“Excuse me?”
He feels you smile against his shoulder, pleased with his offended tone. “I mean your performance was just fine, though adverse effects were beyond distressing.” “Oh.” He lights up at your scheme. “I’m sorry, miss, but you ought to lodge a complaint within twenty-four hours from the end of the service. However, for special clients, we do offer compensation.”
“Hmm. And what does the compensation include?”
“It depends on the agreement between contractor and customer.” “In that case, I remember my compensation including movie night with the contractor.”
He nods. “I believe there was also section about hawaian pizza and ice creams.” You cheer, excited at the idea. “For the contractor of course to make amends for the commute.”
“You’re unbelievable.”
“Duh, you’re to picky to have sex with just anyone.” He grins and you roll your eyes with a soft smile appearing on your face.
“Oh, the way you compliment yourself at my expense.”
“See what a self-sufficient man you got for yourself? I don’t even need other people to receive compliments.”
You sneer and pull back out of his grasp. “We’re watching a movie. Some action or thriller? We need heavy stuff to get rid of your growing ego polluting the air. There’s no oxygen to breathe with. ”
“Titanic then?”
“Did you hear what I just said?”
“Yeah” he confirms, throwing himself on the couch. “Is a drowning ship with hundreds of people on the board not heavy enough for you?”
You shake your head at him “You’re the worst.”
He is. And he feels over the moon to have you back with him.
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raibebe · a month ago
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Prove it
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Genre: smut Words: 2.232 Prompt: Mark with a big dick x reader
Warnings: oral (m receiving), deepthroating, lots of spit, facial, slight cumplay, Mark Lee monster cock, worshiping Mark’s monster cock
A/N: This was supposed to be way shorter, I have no idea how it got this out of hand, I blame @ncteaxhoe
Taglist: @sly-merlin, @yokshi-unbeliebubble, @lenaluvs, @waffletaeng, @nctflix, @thatanonymousgirl-as14, @leejenoanti, @chenlewifey, @dendenluvsbubu, @n0hyuck, @team-seojun, @bebskyy, @ahsshilee-me, @markistheloveofmylife, @onyourm-ork, @freezerandfame, @sunshinedhyuck, @seomisaho, @thesebootsaremadeforstalking, @poutypoutybin, @cookydream, @chitaphrrrr, @justanotherkpopstanlol, @aprilpari, @flowerboykun​
“What do you mean Mark has the biggest dick among you guys?” “Don’t tell me you haven’t watched fancams and noticed?” Donghyuck snickered, sipping on his beer.
“I always thought it would be Jeno,” you admitted, your eyes still wide in shock. The boy in question choked on his drink where he was cuddled into Jaemin’s side on the other sofa, coughing loudly to clear his airways, his best friend doing absolutely nothing to help him. “No, Mark beats him in length,” Donghyuck oh so helpfully supplied, a devious grin on his lips.
Well damn. That had your mind running wild. And it absolutely didn’t help that you exactly knew how big Jeno’s dick was (thanks to something he liked to call a drunken escapade but both of you knew you were mostly sober when it had happened). And if Mark was bigger, he must be packing.
“Jeno is big,” you said eventually, “I don’t believe it.” “What don’t you believe?” Mark asked innocently, a new six-pack of beer in his hands that he had fetched from the kitchen.
You threw Donghyuck a glare that hopefully conveyed that you wanted him to shut up but the message seemed to get lost on translation. “She doesn’t believe that your dick is bigger than Jeno’s.” Now it was Mark’s time to splutter, choking on plain air as his cheeks dusted pink. “Well, it kinda is,” he sheepishly admitted after a while, eyes momentarily darting over to Jeno to see his reaction but the other didn’t seem to care all too much, mainly trying to evade the kisses Jaemin wanted to give him. It was an open secret between the Dreamies that Mark had the biggest crush on you and Donghyuck had made it his mission to get his two best friends to fuck it out.
“Why don’t you prove it?” The tanned boy asked next, flustering his friend. “I can’t just whip my dick out right here?” “Why not?” You pouted, liquid courage filling your veins. “Not-,” Mark took a deep breath before continuing, summoning all his courage, knowing this might be his only chance, “Not here.” It was almost comedic how quickly you got up to lace your hand with Mark’s whose blush only seemed to deepen. “Then lead the way,” you smiled innocently. “Go get her, tiger!” You could hear someone (you thought it was Jaemin) scream from the living room, when the door to Mark’s room fell into the lock, the silence between you two heavy.
“Don’t be all shy now,” you broke the silence with a giggle, reaching for Mark’s belt. “You- You don’t have to do this,” he grabbed your hands to stop you, lacing your fingers together because he just couldn’t resist. “But I need to know, Markie,” you whined, batting your eyelashes at him while squeezing his hands, “And I haven’t sucked a dick in a while and really want to choke on yours if it’s as big as they’re saying.” “Shit,” he cursed, moving to undo his belt himself, “Yes, yes okay.”
“Let me,” you breathed, sinking to your knees in front of him to undo the button of his pants, leaning in to pull the zipper down with your teeth, the sight already so lewd, it tore a groan from Mark’s throat. “Mmmh, big,” you purred when you could see the imprint of his dick through his boxers a little more clearly, nuzzling your face into the growing bulge, basking in his musky scent that made your mouth water. “I really want to suck you off, Markie,” you sighed, mouthing up and down his shaft to wet the fabric of his briefs until they clung to his cock. And shit, he couldn’t be fully hard yet and he was rivaling Jeno already.
“Then… Then do it,” Mark whispered breathlessly, clumsily stepping out of his jeans on unsteady feet before you pulled down his boxes as well, moaning loudly at the sight of his cock hanging heavy between his legs. “It’s so big,” you gasped, reaching out to feel the weight in your hand. “It’s-,” Mark cut himself off with another groan, throwing his head back against the wood of his door, “It’s not fully hard yet.”
“Fuck,” you cursed, fisting his dick in your hand, the fingers barely touching. When the flesh twitched beneath your gentle touches, you couldn’t hold yourself back anymore. Holding heavy eye contact with Mark, you swirled your tongue around the heavy head to taste the salty precum before wrapping your lips around him, stretching them almost obscenely.
“You look so hot like this,” Mark sighed as you took more and more in your mouth as you boobed languidly on his cock but you were maybe halfway down his length when you felt it hit the back of your throat, your nose miles away from the neatly trimmed hair at the base. The moan you let out was garbled at best and made Mark buck his hips forward so suddenly, you choked on his cock.
“Fuck, sorry,” he immediately apologized when he had pulled you off of him to cough. “Girls… Girls usually can’t take it all,” he admitted sheepishly. “How many have done this for you, Markie?” You asked, batting his hands away from his cock to stroke him tightly, spreading the bit of saliva that coated his cock evenly. “Just- Just my ex and one other girl.” “I’ll get my nose to touch your stomach and if it’s the last thing I’m doing. A dick like yours just needs to be fully buried in a tight throat,” you promised darkly.
Mark’s answer got lost in the moan he let out when you swallowed him down again, stroking what you couldn’t fit just yet with your hands. God, the weight of his cock on your tongue felt so good, you were getting dizzy, almost feeling drunk off of his cock.
“Your cock is so fucking big, Markie,” you sighed, slapping the head onto your tongue before mouthing down the length, sucking along a prominent vein until you could press kisses to his balls, his cock resting on your face. “Shit,” Mark cursed, gently rocking his hips to smear his precum all over your face and probably into your hairline but you didn’t have it in you to scold him when he moaned so prettily when you sucked one of his balls between your lips only to release it with a lewd pop. “Need you to stay still,” you breathed against the tip of his cock, looking up to see him nod, his eyes blown wide but so attentive at the same time. You wanted to coo.
Slowly you inched down his length, bobbing your head to get a feel for him again. Taking a deep breath through your nose, you inched down even further. Stretching your jaw wide, you forced the head of Mark’s cock past your throat, the tightness that enclosed him making him curse and his hands scrambling against the door. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he chanted and you could feel how the muscles of his thighs worked beneath his skin with the effort to stay still. Such a good boy.
Panting, you pulled yourself off of him again, spitting out the saliva that had built up in your mouth onto his cock to keep stroking him. “I’ve never had anything so big down my throat, Markie,” you rasped, greedily sucking on the angry red head to hear his sweet moans again, letting your tongue play around it to taste more precum.
“Feels so good,” he groaned, slowly placing one of his hands to the back of your head to push you down on his dick again, only hesitating when he nudged the back of your throat again. But you didn’t even let him pull you back up, instead relaxing your throat to ease the burn of him stretching you out. He was so big that he easily cut off your airways as you inched down further than you had last time.
Just when you were about to admit defeat, you felt the tickle of Mark’s pubic hair against your nose. Mark could feel the vibrations of the moan you let out and couldn’t help himself to buck his hips forward to finally bury himself to the hilt in your tight throat, your nose pressed tightly against his skin.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” he immediately apologized when the sudden movement had triggered your gag reflex, “It just feels so good.” Still coughing, you looked up at him from teary eyes. “It’s okay,” you reassured him, going back to stroke his cock that had been useless twitching in the air, glistening with how thoroughly it was covered in your spit, “I’m not going to break.” “You look so pretty sucking my cock,” Mark groaned when you took him in your mouth again, messily bobbing your head and rubbing him against the inside of your cheek.
“I want you to cum Markie,” you slurred, messily sucking him back between your lips to bob your head along the length, letting his cock hit the back of your throat repetitively but never letting it slip back into the tightness, the noises so lewd it got Mark’s gut feeling even tighter than before. Then, without a warning, you forced his cock down your throat again, ignoring the burn to instead focus on Mark’s stuttering moans and deep groans as his arousal was nestled in the tight heat again, even going so far as to swallow around him to make the fit even tighter for him. “Shit,” Mark cursed, giving in to his pleasure to fuck your by now completely relaxed throat, shallowly thrusting into the tight heat, the head of his cock never leaving your throat until spit was running freely down your chin, drenching the collar of your own shirt. 
“Why did you pull off,” you whined pathetically, your voice raspy as you immediately sucked the fat head back between your lips, the taste of his precum strong on your tongue. “I was gonna cum,” Mark panted, his eyes screwed shut tightly as he fought back his orgasm so he could have you suck his dick for just a little longer. “Please, Markie,” you begged, spitting excess saliva onto his cock again, the glide of your fist so smooth as if you were using lube because of just how thoroughly coated he was, the excess dripping onto the floor below but neither of you cared. 
With your mouth open wide and tongue stretched out, you jerked him fast, the slick sounds loud in the otherwise quiet room safe for Mark’s breathless pants. “Look at me, Markie.” 
And just when Mark opened his eyes again, the look almost pained, you swallowed him down again whole, nose nestled in the black hair at the base. The tightness of your throat paired with how fucked out you looked beneath him looking up with such doe eyes, had Mark spilling down your throat, making you splutter around him, the sheer amount he was cumming, forcing you to pull off to take the rest of his load all over your face. Streaks landed all over: painting your lips along with the cut of your cheekbones and even the dip of your brows. 
“Fuck, sorry,” he panted harshly, grabbing the base of his cock to milk the last few drops of cum onto your outstretched tongue. Humming happily, you sucked him clean, keeping your eyes closed to not get any of the cum into your eyes.
“Thank you,” you sighed cheekily, sitting back on your hunches to scoop up the cum on your face to then suck your fingers clean, the sight making Mark groan where he was leaning heavily against the door, his chest heaving with heavy breaths, recovering from what must have been the most intense orgasm of his life (no shame on his ex but the feeling of the tightness of a throat couldn’t really compare to anything else). 
“I feel like I should be the one thanking you,” he mumbled, looking down at you with heavy lids where your eyes still were focused onto his slowly softening length. “I really wanted this, Markie,” you rolled your eyes, giving in to the urge to press a gentle kiss to the pink head, nuzzling your face into his crotch, “Can’t believe you’re this huge.” 
“You’re really into this, huh?” Mark chuckled, taking in just how wrecked you looked with the rest of his cum drying on your features while saliva was still glistening on your chin, the fabric of your shirt darkened where it had trickled down and soaked the fabric. 
“I wish you could’ve fucked me,” you panted, a lazy smile on your lips as you gently squeezed the base of his cock, wishing it wouldn’t soften in your grip. “I- I can go again,” Mark stuttered, blush sitting high on his cheekbones, “I can get hard again.” “Fuck,” you cursed, all the arousal coursing through your veins making itself known again, “Please fuck me, Markie. Fuck me stupid with your huge cock. Want you to stretch me out.”
“Shit. Get on the bed,” he commanded, all but ripping his shirt over his head as he watched you crawl onto his sheets, quickly stepping out of your own clothes safe for your bra and panties, spreading your legs wide for him to fit between. “Ruin me, Markie.”  
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