#he’s just in there with the fucking pickles

[xzhdjsj]

By Your Side

Isaac x Reader

Isaac comforts you

Reader is on their period and is frustrated with work.

Anyone ever had cramps so damn bad it made you throw up? Cuz that was me last week and istg i was gonna die

Also this was supposed to be entirely fluff but idk what happened and now we have this😭 It all works out in the end though!

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It's been a day since then, and as you’d expected you feel no better. It'd take a miracle for that to happen anyways. Periods are horrible, it makes your mood sour and your body ache. Not to mention it's annoying and a hindrance to your work. That doesn't mean that Isaac lacks understanding and thinks it a hindrance too, quite the opposite actually. Isaac insists you don't lift a finger if you're not feeling well, and if you do, he's always close to keep an eye on you.

And there it is again, that discomfort in your lower abdomen and back, a tell-tale sign that your period was on its merry way to ruin your week. With a hand across your stomach, you quickly tapped your phone, checking the date. Who knew a month of cramp-free frolicking would be over that quickly. You mentally curse yourself for not keeping track again and head off to the bathroom.

Though, that doesn't always translate well in your mind.

You sat opposite him in his office, hovering over a document you've read at least 10 times but still can't seem to grasp. Each time you feel like you understood, you realise your mind had wondered off in the middle of it or you got distracted by the throbbing pain in your lower abdomen.

Isaac's gaze would find you every minute or so. He'd flip a page, then look up. Or he'd type a sentence and glace at you before continuing. It was his little system of ensuring you weren't struggling.

This time his eyes find you in a frantic state. You let out a deep sigh, flipping the page over to start reading from the top all over again. The frustration was evident, knitted in your eyebrows and the frown on your face. Your eyes were unfocused, and you kept shifting your body every few minutes.

"Are you okay?" Isaac broke the silence.

"What?" You look up at him confused by his sudden question, and a little annoyed your focus was once again broken.

"I asked if you were okay."

You rubbed the side of your neck and sigh.

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine." You dismiss him, returning to the words on the page in front of you. Adamant to get it right this time.

"Are you really? You look a tired Pickle." His voice knocks your focus again.

"I'm fine Isaac." You tell him again. this time sternly.

"Are you sur-"

Your fingers massage the bridge of your nose, and your patience runs thin.

"God Isaac, I said I'm fine! I'm perfectly capable of working right now! It's literally just a period, I'm not bed ridden or something!" The words pour from your lips before you could think them through and instantly, you regret it.

"Right, I'm sorry dear. I was just worried." He's a little surprised, had you looked at him while speaking you'd see the way his eyes reflected it.

To be honest, you’re a little surprised at yourself too, but all you could think of right now was how the FUCK do you respond to that? You open your mouth to say something, anything really, but when you finally looked over at him, he's already shifted his focus to the screen in front of him. There isn't a single thing you could think of to say to him anyways.

You bend your head again, looking at the page you deemed so important earlier. Now it was just insignificant, and part of the reason for your outburst.

'How foolish' you thought to yourself, getting upset at him for showing concern over a matter he had little experience with. And despite his inexperience, he was only trying to help. It wasn't like you got any work done in the 30? 45 minutes? an hour? you were sat here. That only meant that he was right, you were clearly having a difficult time and he was observant enough to had noticed it.

The regret crashes into your chest like a tsunami. You wondered how he was feeling right now. You were considerably rude, surely that would hurt him. What if that gave him the impression that he was annoying? Because he most certainly was not! What have you done?

The thoughts swirled around your head like a brewing storm, threatening to explode at any moment. It didn't help that various parts of your body were still in pain and the only sound in the room was papers being shuffled and the clicking sounds of his keyboard. The pain gnawed at your flesh and the silence burgeoned your thoughts. There’s a lump in your throat and you’re not quite sure if you need to throw up from the pain or cry your eyes out. It was only when a single teardrop dripped onto the page below you that you realised you didn't want to be in the room anymore. You swiftly lifted your body from the chair and Isaac looked over at you right away. You couldn't return the notion; the bubbling pot of shame and regret wouldn’t let you.

"I uh,” your voice cracked and you're still unsure of what to say. "Excuse me."

You quickly push past the desk, rushing out the door. You were able to hold yourself together in front of him, but once outside, your emotions came tumbling over. The tears flowed freely down your cheeks, and you ran up the stairs to your room.

You threw yourself onto the sheets, your face buried into a pillow as your body folded into itself like an armadillo. It hurts so much. Your body, your mind, it all hurts. You sobbed into the pillow, squeezing it tightly against your chest for what felt like an eternity.

Eventually, there was a gentle knock on the door, then a soft call of your name as the door slowly swung open. You didn't hesitate, discarding the pillow quickly to sit up and voice your scrabbled thoughts.

"Isaac I'm so sorry! I- I didn't mean to yell at you- I know you were just concerned and I should’ve listened to you when you said I could rest for today-"

He takes big steps towards the bed, immediately taking you in his arms.

"Shhhhh, calm down my love. It's okay."

You're gripping onto his shirt for dear life, sobbing into his chest but he doesn't care, he pulls you even closer engulfing you fully into his body. His arms were secure and protective around you as he whispered sweet nothings into your hair. His voice is so gentle and soothing, and when combined with his hand caressing up and down your back, your choked sobs were simmered down to deep breathing in no time.

"Are you feeling better?" He asks and you nod.

"I'm sorry I was so rude to you." You were barely able to murmur.

"Are you still worried about that? I won't lie, I was taken by surprise but only because this has never happened to me before. I know you aren't feeling your best today, so I understand why it happened." He explained, leaning down to place a tender kiss on your forehead. "Now, are you in any pain?"

You sigh, "Yeah, I think my cramps are extra bad this time."

"Do you want me to get you something to eat? Maybe I could make you some tea and I'll get you some painkillers."

"No!" You suddenly move and the pain stabs you sharply in your side. "Ah shit!"

"Careful, Pickle" Isaac helps you, guiding your body down onto the bed. "I'll go get you those pills, hold on for me okay?"

"Isaac, can't you just stay? Please?"

"I'll be back before you know it, just stay here for a couple minutes. You’re very strong, I’m sure you can handle just that right?"

He disappears out the door, but as promised, returns after a few minutes.

"This is all I could find." He presented a single pill to you with a glass of water. "I'll need to make sure we get some more and find other alternatives to help you. I've read that heating pads are very common, so I ordered you one."

You take the pill from his hand, washing it down with some water.

"When did you do all that?"

"Just now, before I came up here."

"So, I yelled at you and you were researching and ordering a heating pad for me? Now, I feel even more awful!" You body falls back down onto the bed.

"Don't. It happens to the best of us, I'm well aware frustration isn't easy to handle." He casually spoke while getting into bed next to you. He reached for the blanket while you nuzzled closer to him, pulling it over your bodies.

“Am I disturbing your work?” You ask.

“No, it can wait.” He was quick to dismiss the idea of work. “I was thinking, what should I make you for dinner?”

He rubs circles in your back, from top to bottom. The warmth from his hands and the effects on the painkillers relaxed your body and made your eyelids heavy.

“You’re gonna cook for me?” You yawn.

“What? Is my cooking not good?” He teased playfully.

You giggle at his response. “Hmm of course not, I love your food. But I don’t know, hmmm how about mashed potatoes?”

“Just mashed potatoes?”

“Yeah, that’s all I want.”

“Sounds easy enough.” He kisses the top of your head. “You should get some rest now.”

“You’ll stay with me, right?” You yawn again.

“Of course my love, and when you open your eyes again, I promise I’ll still be here.”

His gentle hand against your back, and comforting scent made your body heavy and lulled you to sleep in no time. You dreamt of him, and when you woke up again, he was still there with you, eyes closed and mellow breathing as he slept.

#zsakuva #sakuverse #asmr #isaac #isaac rhoades #zsakuva isaac #isaac x reader

[0little-miss-scare-all0]

Stuffed animals I think Dethklok would give each other

Not trying to infantilize, they all get them those fuckin man babies.

Probably cringe but I could care less honestly 😭

Not proofread suck a fart

Nathan

Pickles gets him a whale. It's a reference to the whale he'll see so maybe next time he can relate it to his stuffed animal and not worry. They also stand for strength, which adds to the overall meaning of getting over fears.

Murderface would get him a lion. He says it's a jab at how much of a perfectionist he needs to be to be proud of his work. They're also just hella fucking brutal. Lions for the win

Skwisgaar would get him some type of fish. It doesn't matter which one, just whichever he finds first. They won't be very big, just little plushies.

Toki would get him a German Shepherd. He thinks it's a cool dog and I like to think it's Nathan's favorite. He would probably get the black ones to match Nathan's hair. He likes how they're actually cute but look brutal.

Charles isn't a big giver, especially with stuffed animals. If he finds one of those brutally cute things like the baphomet plushies he'll get them. Other than that, he's just too busy to look for insanely interesting ones.

Skwisgaar

Nathan would get him that alien plush from Ikea. I don't know why that was the first thing I thought of, but it was. It's called like Aftonsparv I think. They just both find it chucklesome.

Pickles would get him a wolf. I like to think that he just obsesses over wolves sometimes and Pickles feels the need to add fuel to fire.

Murderface would get him an arctic fox. He likes to say that Skwisgaar is from the North Pole up with "Santy Claus". He also just likes them.

Toki would get him a polar bear. I just think that everyone collectively thinks that Skwisgaar is an arctic man. He's pale and has ice blue eyes so it makes sense to me.

Toki

Nathan would get him a bunny because it's his spirit animal. (Ie. The episode they aired Bloodlines, I can never remember the name)

Pickles would get him little sharks. Think Blåhaj and things related. He just thinks they're cute and Toki loves them.

Murderface would get him a tiger. He says it's better because it's like a house cat but metal. Toki would argue that house cats are quite metal, but to no avail.

Skwisgaar would get him big octopuses. He would either say it was the Kraken or Cthulhu. Whichever he felt like it being.

Pickles

Nathan would get him just that. Pickles. It would be like the Cat v Pickle plushies and if it was a cat he'd just give it to Toki or something. He thinks it's the funniest shit ever

Murderface would get him an orca. They're hella brutal and he thinks it's funny that they're actually dolphins (don't fact check me i'm pretty sure that's true)

Toki is getting him dolphins. They're the shark and dolphin duo and it's so fun. It's a gag at this point, they'll buy each other the ugliest ones.

Skwisgaar would give him a frog. He just think it fits Pickles's vibe and appearance. Not to say he's an ugly frog.

Murderface

Nathan would get him a pig. At first it seems like a jab at him, but pigs are cute! They're also known to be smart and clean, at least from what a teacher told me once.

Pickles would get him those plushies of his favorite chip bags because they're just so fun. they also crinkle because why wouldn't they.

Toki would get him lions because they're also brutal cats and he thinks he should get the same thing. Also he needs some strength in his life the poor guy.

Skwisgaar would get him a manatee. It's just an ongoing joke since the events of Doublebookedklok. They giggle about it when they get too high sometimes.

Charles

He's the gifter this time

He hates when the guys get him things because he thinks they should use their money on "more useful" things.

He'll get Nathan those Baphomet plushies. They don't have to be generally big, but if he sees one he'll get it.

Pickles would get a horse or two from him. Specially the white and black ones, considering those are the most metal horses.

Murderface would get a wrench from this son of a bitch. Not a real one like a stuffed one I hope that was clear. I think they'd both giggle a little bit.

He's also a Toki cat giver. Specifically Calico cats. If he finds one that looks like Really Cool Cat then he'll get it for sentiment.

He'll get Skwisgaar an owl. He thinks it matches him and is majestic like he is, while still kind of creepy. Also spirit animal mention.

That's it I hope you fucks enjoyed <33

#metalocalypse #mtl #william murderface #charles offdensen #nathan explosion #skwisgaar skwigelf #charles foster offdensen #dethklok #pickles the drummer #headcanon #stuffed animals #let's just say i wholeheartedly believe these #probably cringe

[ghostradiodylan]

I will never stop finding it hilarious that the besties just leave Caleb Hackett in the freezer to die. 🤣🤣🤣 It’s so unlikely and so unnecessary. I love it.

#the quarry #Kaitlyn ka #dylan lenivy #caleb hackett #he’s just in there with the fucking pickles #it would take him like two hours to die after he turned back #my dumb quarry memes #absolute shitpost #Kaitlyn & Dylan commit manslaughter #a gas oven lodge explosion would have been too much like Until Dawn but it still would have been cool #I should clarify that by love I mean hate #I think it’s goofy

[ei-encora]

i needed to draw some non-descript earlier era of pickles with short hair or else i was gonna go fucking crazy

#man how the fuck did he come out looking like seth #is it cus of that fucked up little stache #i think it's cus of that fucked up little stache #either way this bangs #pickles the drummer #doodily doo ding dong doodily doodily do #shout out to pickles fr #gotta be one of my favorite genders #metalocalypse #mtl #mtl fanart #metalocalypse fanart #preklok #earlyklok #i don't know which one he falls under but by god he falls under one of them #not sabaton #not stam1na #babe wake up new james art just dropped #my art

[mr-payjay]

doodle dump :)

#osc #juice art #inanimate insanity #inanimate insanity fanart #payjay #payjay ii #paper ii #oj ii #pickle ii #taco ii #taco x pickle #idk what the ship name for taco x pickle is #taco x microphone x pickle #tacomicpickle #i have no fucking idea what to tag these ships as #you can interpret them as platonic if you want im just insane #don't worry pickle's nonbinary. taco and mic remain lesbians #oj and paper and candle and bot are my top 4 faves soooo :) #first pickle gijinka is set early/mid s2 #the others are kind of around season 3? he's feeling better :) #also s1 taco gijinka #i have an s2 taco gijinka but i need to redraw her #a friend informed me the ship name for taco x pickle is paco #which sounds kind of stupid but i ran them through a name combiner thingy and EVERY combination sounds dumb #paco ii

[buboloboogie]

EPISODE 9 SPOILERS !!! EPISODE 9 SPOILERS !!!

Doodle page sneak peek ! My ass has having such a hard time drawing as of late so please take these little doobLz

#yes thats gabriel on the right #i love him so much #the suckening #jrwi #jrwi the suckening #just roll with it #jrwi fanart #jrwi suckening #arthur bennett #shilo bathroy #prince shilo #I FUCKING LOVE PICKLES SO MUCH #no one gets it #im so sad gabe died #i am 50% sure he is going to come back #25% is he comes back w/ his mind in tact and the other half is he comes back like a fucking undertale amalgam #I JUST REALIZED THAT I FORGOT ARTHUR’S CHOKER #fucckkk i knew he looked naked somehow #this is terrible news it’s so joever #bub's sillies

[mikecrewsteacup]

The un-addressed hilarity of Gertrude not realizing Eric had quit the Archives before dying. Let's recap how that got mentioned: 

Right. So Gertrude was under the impression that Eric Delano was working on statements, presumably either transcription or researching old leads; maybe she even occasionally let them file things for fun before she'd go disorganize them herself later on. And we can assume she didn't actually keep very close tabs on them, so it's even possible if Eric had quit a week prior to his murder, she would have naturally missed it.

But...months?

I present to you the only possible explanation: that Jonah Magnus (who would have been hiding in Wright's body at the time, not Elias' yet) had to be the one frantically trying to keep Gertrude in the dark about it being possible to quit the Archives. After not interfering for the two years Eric Delano spent trying to quit — presumably he underestimated Eric the way he does Martin later on, and just didn't bother checking in on him until OH SHIT I CANT SEE ERIC WHERE DID HE GO — Jonah suddenly had a huge problem on his hands.

So please, imagine Jonah sneaking back into the Archives after dark (or just never leaving at all) and frantically rifling through Eric's desk to do his paperwork. Knowing just enough information about Eric's intended leads to pretend they'd been interviewed and take fake notes (but not TOO fake as to be suspicious! Eric was always a pretty serious and dedicated employee!). Just generally making it appear that an entire employee had not left for MULTIPLE. MONTHS. 

I know we discuss how to Jonah this show is a workplace comedy for the first like 4 seasons, but it's implied shenanigans like this that really showcase it for me. 

(Also now I can't help but wonder if Jonah is a natural at mimicking handwriting, or if Eric's notes from that period abruptly go from 'neat and tidy but modern cursive' to 'ye olde script, hastily attempting to look modern'.)

#Eric Delano #gertrude robinson #tma #i don't always post meta but when I do you bet it's stupid!! #Jonah Magnus #eric being a straight-laced hard worker who just loves ghosts so much he then married an evil village witch is iconic tbh #So is Jonah getting himself in a pickle bc he forgets to use being literally fucking omniscient and telepathic

[kucka-g]

why is he like this?

#whole fucking hand in the pickle jar #i just know he doesn't wash his hands #he ate that pickle in one bite btw #....fuck he's hot #charlie dompler #smiling friends #smiling friends charlie

[maxphilippa]

No, dude, Silvercandle isn't toxic. They were both playing by the game. Silver also regretted the stuff he did. They're on good terms now. They talked about stuff. If anything they were just complicated at times but that doesn't mean they were toxic.

#maxposteo #y'all will try to say that any ship is worse that t4c0mic and then choose a ship that has just some bit of conflict #t4c0m1c is so so fucking bad. genuinely #“taco didn't mean to hurt mic” so what was the manipulation about. huh. what was the name calling for. hm. #why did mic say that taco treated her like she treated pickle. hmmm? #silver is just a prick to everyone btw. #not only to candle. #he got better at the end and hey y'know what. he wants to impress her now!

[noisolpxe]

doodly doo

#metalocalypse #skwisgaar skwigelf #nathan explosion #pickles the drummer #idk. just fucking around w some stuff i drew in my sketchbook that i wanted to digitize #juicebox art #also yes i always draw pickles in the big arm hole fuckboy-esque tank top. hes a drummer he needs the mobility #plus its an excuse to draw his top surgery scars

[plasma-tree]

no you don't understand i am absolutely incapable of acting like i am normal about chunky fictional dudes who are old enough to be my dad

#william murderface #nathan explosion #pickles the drummer #mad eye moody #severus snape #you cant fucking tell me snape is in shape dont you lie to me #if you told him to do a push up he would fucking die just on principal

[xxrat--punkxx]

Cringe ass oc x Morgott Valentine’s Day post

#AHHHHH #I am normal about them u guys #Ellaband is the worlds worst Elden lord because she loves to just ditch Lyndell and not tell any of the royal staff just to go foraging #she’ll leave her proper lords attire and crown to just dick about in Limgrave for rowa fruits #she mostly goes hunting for the materials to make silver pickled foul feet as it helps her worsening eyesight #this will almost always send the royal staff into a panic because they’ve just lost the fucking Elden lord #almost always leading to morgott having to chase her down and bring her back because by the grace of gold she needs to stop doing that #yet despite all that he will let her stay only for a bit #sharing jokes and talking about life’s more simple things in the Limgrave grass #if only for a little while #my art #elden ring morgott #morgott the grace given #morgott the omen king #ellaband the ever elusive #elden ring #elden ring margit #margit the fell omen #tarnished #tarnished elden ring #soulsbourne #valentines day

[ei-encora]

okay im gonna be fr here the rest of this is unfinished and totally based on a fic im writing rn where pickles drags nathan to wisconsin with him in the preklok/earlyklok era but it's just so good that i feel the need to post it

i started doing a blur effect with my lineart recently and its making my pieces look way more finished i feel so powerful

#NATHAN WITH HIS HAIR OUT OF HIS FACE WHAT IT DOOOOOO #drawing exasperated nathan was fun as fuck i won't even front rn #also pickles has the cast cus he. punched a wall and broke his hand🧍 #and he chopped off all his hair cus his mom kept pestering him about it and he was a nervous wreck #what wisconsin does to a mf #earlyklok #preklok #shout out to pickles fr #gotta be one of my favorite genders #pickles the drummer #doodily doo ding dong doodily doodily do #nathan explosion #metalocalypse #mtl #metalocalypse fanart #mtl fanart #babe wake up new james art just dropped #jamesposting #not sabaton #not stam1na

[ghostcrows]

gay people need to be carrying around bottle openers. put that shit on your carabiner...i'm serious its gravely important that you do this

#im talking about carabiners a lot today i dont know why. its like when you google 'durian' just to look at durians #and you remember your first reference for a durian was the gamecube madagascar game #but im always getting caught out and about without a fucking bottle opener #and i havent mastered that swagful technique of doing it over your thigh cowboy style #and i also have trouble opening it with table corners and shit #literally was out in town trying to do this and some guy was like you need a hand. and he did it for me. #i cant have that. i simply cant have that #im the guy who wont let you open a jar for him and it has nothing to do with you this is about me...this is about how i measure up to mysel #MY pickle jar crisis

[casketvamps]

i'm like 99% sure this is a bit from 6teen, but what i wouldn't give for an episode of metalocalypse where skwisgaar is devastated to learn that he sucks complete shit at guitar hero. just absolutely heartbroken and pissed off. it's the end of the world because mr. fast fingers wizard can't hit orange button

#metalocalypse #tbh i think they would all suck really bad at it except maybe nathan? his singing is so loud and unintelligible he might just break the game #pickles would also be pissed as hell that he can't do well on something much simpler than real drums #like. it would be *funny* if pickles blew everyone else out of the water but i don't see it happening #guitar hero drums are baby mode. they're so small i think it would fuck him up

[nyxi-pixie]

hello yes i would like to submit my evidence for why will is the 'excuse me he asked for no pickles' bf bc.

will wanted to leave he was just like ugh lucas ur in my way MOVE BITCH 🙄😤😤😤

and then mike is like ohshitohshitohshitohshit MY BOYFRIEND NOOO i gotta parkour around my bestie real quick give me a second

#also 2020s mike would be a minecraft parkour enjoyer bc i said so #he watches those tiktoks where they just jump around the same fucking course for HOURS #but hes shit at the actual game. like dies so easily #whereas will??? bad bitch. the most capable #sorry this turner into minecraft headcanons bc i said the word parkour one time #its fine im just going crazy #ive been awake too long #byler #i actually think theyre both excuse me he asked for no pickles #bc mike takes any opportunity to talk shit at adults bc hes a bitch #<3 said with love #but thats not the point