#help me be more of a sad bitch

[leenieweenie12]

Headed quickly for a downward spiral and feeling the urge to keep it going (who doesn’t love to be self-destructive every once in awhile?) so any recommendations for angsty fics/movies/etc are appreciated rn.

Also side note it’s hard for me to deal with this garbage when I no longer cope in the same ways that I did years ago. So when I’m in my feels about old shit from my past but I can’t handle it how I used to, I feel a bit trapped with absolutely no where to go.

K enough of my emotional baggage 🙃

#help me be more of a sad bitch #angst is basically my middle name #is this ptsd? I have no idea #I made a terrible mistake today and did not think it would turn out like it has #I have zero coping mechanisms at this point in my life 😅

[sirazaroff]

bestie i haven’t seen your art in so long i was wondering what happened, turns out i just haven’t turned on notifs for you so that’s remedied now !! gosh ive missed out on some hella good art 😩 you’re pulling my love for crosshares back from out of the shadows, you icon 😩

AHHH PATCH!! dude I’ve missed you too ( ･ᴗ･̥̥̥ ) I also haven’t been seeing you on my feed lately. Thought maybe somehow I got unfollowed from you but naw. Dunno what’s going on with my feed. Anyways I’m glad to see you again! Hopefully you’ve caught up on all the goodness.

Man we need some more crosshares 😤 I always look back to your work for inspo and just general fondness over the kiddos. You capture their dynamic real real well it’s always got me giggling, legs swinging. Lucky for you, there’s more crosshares in the works so, something fun to look forward to >:D

Thank you for reaching out! <3

Vels on her tippy paws don’t worry

Tho her being tol would be rather fun~

#fooze #patchodraws #rwby #rwby fanart #velvet scarlatina #rwby velvet #coco adel #rwby coco #crosshares #rwby crosshares #I’ve been in a mood for those two. their relationship means *so* much to me like #like it drives me crazy thinking about how these two are just so. PERFECT for each other #they challenge one another but help each other thrive even more #and how funny that it took one sad bunny to have coco on her knees bitch I’m so weak #anyways. yes! more stuff soon >:D #wow look at all this Fooze art lately it’s a Christmas miracle or something~

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

.

#these past two weeks have been so intense that ive just.. not spoken about it once i got home from work #blocked it all out #my beloved colleague whose desk is next to mine has cancer #breast and uterus. she needs two major surgeries #they just diagnosed her two weeks ago #so we've been trying to deal with that as colleagues and friends #because we love and miss her and i am so deeply sad as well #but i feel like i couldn't process that at all bc two days after the news of her diagnosis i was asked to take on half of her work #on top of my fulltime #which i agreed to do bc i like her tasks and i want to help her and i also know i can do it #but it does feel very off bc i know i don't earn enough money for this workload to be long term and it is def like this #for the coming four months at least #so i did tell my manager that i would like a raise and. that bitch told me to BUY MORE SECOND HAND SHIT. #i seriously thought i saw my life flash before my eyes #then the day after she asked one of my colleagues who's been with the firm for over 30 years whether she was looking for another job maybe? #which caused that colleague to instantly go home in tears and be home from basically a nervous breakdown the past 1.5 week #which is her full right and i support her with all my heart but bc my management sucks it meant that we had to also carry her tasks ofc #i felt soooo spread thin and super super angry actually but i didn't even realise how angry i was until last thursday my colleague w cancer #came by the office. and talked about all of it. and i suddenly realised how sad i was but then also how angry #but i was just blocking it all out trying to stay afloat #bc we told her about what the manager had said and she said “i hope that i get the chance to really tell her how it is someday.” #“because the stress she causes with people can actually kill you. just look at me.” #and the rest of the day i felt so ready to be done with everything actually #but seeing her anger made me see my own anger #and released me of my own pent up emotions bc i had actual leg pains this week and it was purely psychosomatic #i then managed to tell some friends yesterday about what was going on and their outrage spurred me on even more #so today i emailed hr. demanding a raise #doing this amount of work while constantly feeling like the house is on fire while also struggling financially seriously makes me suicidal #and i am not joking #so.. if nothing comes of that im leaving that job and not looking back

[opens-up-4-nobody]

God. One of my little sisters is such a bitch. She's done me some genuine damage in exacerbating my already social bad anxiety. But when I have dreams where she's been hurt or killed, it's so horrible bc she's still my lil sister :-(

#its bc last night my dad had a dream she was in a car wreck. he transferred that anxiety onto me #shes such a bitch tho.just like intolerant of things she doesnt understand. and she does not understand my unwell brain #i think she likes my youngest sistsr best now. which fair bc i do too but we used to be besties. we used to explore in the woods together #and play ellos and barbies and legos and poly pockets and magnets. and now we never text eachother. its sorta sad #its not just me tho. my youngest sister and i have a 4 year gap so we weren't really interacting much when were were little bc she was too #bby to me but shes such a genuinely lovely person now. shes a special ed and preschool teacher. i asked her mom how she ended up with both #of my sisters bc my middle sister is the most like entitled person i kno. like my parents r very generous and she doesnt think for a moment #about not accepthing things from them. she thinks shes owed that amd more. its so strange #and my mom was like. thank goodness i got the youngest bc otherwise id think something was wrong with me #im prob somewhere in the middle of them. my brain is just more fucked up so like im greatful but im struggling. theres not a ton of like #really obvious mental illness in my family tho. just here and there someone should b diagnosed and get a bit of help. my uncle is the only #other one who could possibly be bipo1ar but hes also got a lot of problems: severe adhd and possibly b0rderline. so it could just b that but #my dad says when u talk to him sometimes things just doent make sense bc hes had convos in his head wuth you so he thinks u kno already #idk. its interesting tho #unrelated

[yelenapines]

watched tbosas today. needless to say i am obsessed with the red uniform skirt and they should have been wearing those the whole movie. thank you.

#tbosas #much more to say about this movie but thats it for now #actually no lets TALK #they literally changed how the games end which is fine but like how is no one noticing #also um clemensia dropped in got bit and thats it?? bye bye? have fun? #also this annoying bitch in my grade said she hates sejanus in the movie but loves him in the book um please get his name out of your mouth #if you're gonna be speaking filth about my son #ugh #anyways um rachel ate #love how the movie can tell the whole story tho i *am* conflicted about my feelings on how fast paced it was #and then again not seeing his inner monologue is a problem but like it's a movie so idk #also ofc the vibe is different between parts 1 and 2 and part 3 idk why people dont like it i think its cool and like thats the point to se #his evolution #sejanus' death was horrible like i'm sorry the mockingjays reproducing his last cries for help are just. #anyhoo #i will not shut up ok let's keep going #ik that like ppl are simping for tom blyth and as u should tbh same but you COULD NOT CHANGE HIM OR FIX HIM IK ITS A JOKE BUT IT BOTHERS ME #SO MUCH #like ik it's being silly and goofy but it just rubs me the wrong way cause like its not true #also Tigris and Snow's story is so fucking sad kms #also TF WAS THAT MOMENT IN THE ARENA WHERE SEJANUS ALMOST KISSED CORYO WE ALL SAW IT OK #sejanus is not straight at all lmao he spent the whole movie batting eyelashes at coryo but ALSO i love the angst of the marcus x sejanus i #idea i made up #also coriolanus is so fucking goofy like bitch pls “mY oLd SeLf. I kIlLeD hIm To Be WiTh YoU” bestie sit down #ok rant over #yelenaposts #sejanus plinth

[aggressiveguitarnoises]

born to be vulnerable and serious and expressive, forced to be silly

#i love being silly i really do #but i love being passionate even more #and be serious about stuff #and ppl look at me so weird when i am too passionate about smth or serious #and get called a bitch for my serious/sad resting expression #“u look angry and like u will kill me”???? WHERE DID TAHT COME FROM WHAT DID I DO????? I DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING #i cant even have deep conversations with most of my irl friends #or i get called insane for being creative and making a skirt out of old jeans for funsies or analysing shows and media #its all a joke but cant help but take it to heart sometimes #i guess i still get to be expressive by being silly but at what cost #vent #i guess #not sad i swear #just thinking #rumaiq rambles

[potter-pavlikovsky-popchyk]

listen and think of them pls

#Have I posted these all here before? Yes. Should you all still emo cry circle jam to them yes so do so #Get in bitch we’re diving back into Boreo feels (for writing purposes so yn it’s fiiiine it’s healthy even to emo sometimes right?) #He asks as if it’s change a thing if it wasnt #Lmfaooo okay but listen listen I plan the sad music first theeeen my dance music and workout #I get emo feels out after I promie fr I do it smooth brain style big smov brain haver I am! Okay! #boreo #boris pavlikovsky #the goldfinch #tgf #theo decker #theodore decker #theo i’m not gay decker #donna tartt #boreo music #And hey hey I included a song to end on that will help you “life… eh?” It because for me is Boris getting high w/Potter #Spotify #Also bedroom ceiling song UGHHH could just see sm to that aibsejwudhbsjf not emo about it actually how perfect it is and and #Def don’t imagine them both talking to their moms when they get drunk or high enough not to judge themselves about it #Asking them for guidance maybe just in their heads at first but the more they’re stressed the more they just can’t push off the want stuck #In their throat to just fucking ask them out loud till one night they just let out all slurred and embarrassed in the dark of their room #Omfg I miiiight need to have thiiiis in Forget about Kotku fuckkn hellllll #5seconds later I’m like yes no I will I think lol I need happy endings for my boys always and wasn’t sure how I would get there but thiiis #Mmmmm it’s giving me ideas in making that idea ages back I got from that Russian Facebook post I shared of writing love letters to someone #Sleeping cause you can’t tell em that rn and I just hmmmm *meme of ghoul boys*:IVE CONNECTED THE DOTS my brain: you ain’t connect shit

[khimkito]

my stepfather is causing a scene and one of his points is that my grandparents give me money and i dont deserve it because im rude to him but like. buddy. look around you. you are literally here because my dad is gone and god knows YOU arent the one financially supporting us

#vent #i guess??? its just petty drama #im more annoyed than sad #i have an incredibly low tolerance for stupid people #if my dad was alive we wouldve have several times the money my pension gives me ofc my relatives want to help out #(its 50$ btw. he's bitching about 50$. literally go get a job)

[torgawl]

the more we discover about dion's father and anabella the more i'm happy dion impaled the shit out of that motherfucker and the more frustrated i become anabella got an easy death by killing herself. not that i expected clive or joshua to do anything because i don't think they're those types of people but it would have been satisfying to me

#how can two people be so fucking cruel #they really are perfect for each other #now we discovered they both planned rosaria becomes part of sanbreque a year before the events at phoenix gate??? #holy shit she really had no ounce of respect for her kids not even joshua #the fact her reactions to her beloved son holder of the phoenix 'dying' is oh well time to make another one is so sgsjdhdb fuck you bitch #imagine being disappointed your son is too weak instead of actually morning his death 😭 #i hate her so much its undescribable and now dion's father gets to join the first spot they can share it and die in hell #rest in piss as they say #anyways can you tell i saw another tweet about ultimania agsjshs sorry #i promise i will not make another post about this game today (i think) i just need to release my anger somewhere #okay but on another hand support women's wrongs i guess ✌️😭 #i can't help but to think of the way his own traumas from the way he was raised influenced dion though :') #he seems to think anabella corrupted his father but he also acknowledges he doesn't love him for being a bastard child #i am letting the thought ruminate a bit more because i don't know if i can be coherent about it but!!!! he makes me so sad. he deserved so #much better :') #final fantasy xvi

[floral-hex]

Can’t tell if I’m so anxious because of drug withdrawal or it’s just because I have a bad brain 😓

#I took buspar for about 4 nights then had to stop because it put me on edge #first night without it and I’m hit with the same feelings again #just sad and hopeless and my nerves feel sick #I had thought there wasn’t supposed to be any real withdrawal from that stuff #so maybe this is just me being sad #quick rant: I feel so hopless and alone and scared #it’s 4:30am and I know there’s nothing I can do right now about it so I should just chill out #brains suck #just go to sleep! #I have my first therapy session tomorrow/today so we’ll see #and I’m realizing now I really need to bite the bullet and apply to some jobs #any jobs. even if I’m afraid my hearing will go out and I’ll fuck up working #I NEED to get out of this house more. I NEED money. I NEED some hope for a future. #I want moneyyyy so I can go out to eat and take my brothers to the movies and help my mother with bills #I can’t just stay awake all night suffering. I need to be productive. #ian I swear you will feel so much better with a purpose #even if that purpose is just to work a register for a few hours a day #it’ll be okay #we can do this. we’ll talk to the therapist tomorrow. we’ll call our doc and bitch about our meds. we’ll apply for jobs #we’ll shower and eat and go out in the sun and it’ll be okay #baby steps baby #get a job. get money. buy a burger. find someone to kiss once or twice. #I can do this #I feel everything falling apart and fading away and I have to fight that #I’m fighting it now just verbalizing this and it’s helping #it’ll be okay ian! #life can still be beautiful! #you’re afraid of losing everything well then fucking grab it hold it do what you can #I’m so fucking scared but I have to try #text

[thewingedwolf]

@breanime the issue is that there’s so many things that could be causing it that basically every time i go to a pcp and say “the nausea is kicking my ass” they just kinda shrug. like it could be the fibromyalgia, the h. pylori, the lactose intolerance, the gerd, or something completely new (my mother actually does think i might have a hernia so you are possibly on the right track there) and trying to impress upon a doctor that my symptoms are severe enough that i’m complaining means they are likely at a point where a normal person would go to the ER, but a lot of them just kinda act like i complain to hear myself talk. like, the last two i had just put me on The Fibro Meds and when i said “hey i’m not sure these are doing much” they went “well those are the fibro meds so keep at it” like they won’t even give me things to ease the symptoms atp and im like 80% sure there’s a sticky note in my file that says “drug seeker and hypochondriac” bc the amount of times i’ve been dropped by a doctor or blown off in the past two years is kind of insane.

#replies #breanime #i *am* actually worried it’s a hernia. i’ve been thinking of completely switching groups bc i went from feeling like i finally had doctor’s #that cared about me to. after i got the fibro diagnosis. just being completely abandoned several times by several doctors #and that is not even counting the number of therapists that straight up drop me bc i’m too crazy. like will say To My Face they don’t do #cases like me. idk how u become a doctor and see a 20 year old sobbing in your office bc their body is just. broken. and go ‘nothing i can #do to help sorry’ like it’s insane to me i cry over random patrons at work i can’t help and u won’t help a sick person????? #anyway i didn’t mean to rant i’ve just been nauseous for like six months straight and i’m over it #i’m sorry u had a hernia tho those are rough i had a gym teacher who had one and he really went thru it poor dude 😭 #the amount of weed i’ve smoked to ease my nausea and swelling and pain………not healthy!!! #but if i say ‘the weed is the only thing that helps’ they accuse me of drug seeking. yeah bitch i am seeking drugs bc i’m sick! #also i appreciate whenever i make sad posts u specifically are like ‘oh no 😭’ more valid than any doctor

[lucy-ghoul]

I just realized what's wrong with the Targaryen wigs in HotD: they don't look like Targaryen hair, they look like they were stolen from the Malfoys. They all share one (1) or at best two wigs in toto and it makes them look like freaking Lucius Malfoy clones

#jokes aside episode 1 was quite good (yes i finally caved in and started watching the fire lizards show) #there were many nice touches that made me go 'mmmmh good stuff.' #1. the juxtaposition of aemma's horrific death in childbirth/the knights killing each other at the tournament #clearly reminiscent of that quote from one of brienne's chapters... heh now i can't fully remember it in english #2. THEY NAME-DROPPED THE SONG OF ICE AND FIRE (which was never even remotely referred to in got) #the whole thing about aegon and the prophecy has been a particularly favorite fan theory of mine for years and i'm happy it's canon #fake lizard monarchs haters gonna hate :)) #tho it's VERY bittersweet considering the got finale... like the prince that was promised was *spins roulette* #a stark all along? like randomly? (and no obviously i'm not talking about jon. he *is* half targaryen after all) #and let's not forget about the true heir being put down like a mad bitch because d&d liked jon better (since he's a man) #and were like 'revolutionary who wants to help people/actually abolished slavery in another continent bad. let's enforce the status quo :))) #(also the double standards. war crimes are okay only if other nobles do it - especially the starks. if you have a dragon and are a woman #and dare to be slightly mortally grey and/or ambitious... in 2 days you're gonna burn children alive!! because ofc.) #..... *cough cough* okay salty rant is over. let's go on with val's hotd first impressions #2. i didn't hate matt smith as daemon and he's particularly good at looking upset and/or sad but i still think he was miscast #3* #like he CAN act and it shows. but it's as if he were making an effort to appear more believable for this role #idk maybe he'll grow on me in the next eps. also his interactions with rhaenyra were a++ but that's nothing new #can't wait for this girl to fuck her uncle ig (...... what did i become skskksks) #4. i also liked rhaenyra&alicent's interactions. this is gonna be another tragic former besties to worsties for me to cry on :((( #5. i mostly liked the costumes. i liked how this is all about the patriarchy (at least so far). i liked the slight but still noticeable #references to the main show (the music. rhaenyra being an obvious dany lookalike. #lord stark pledging his fealty to her while viserys' voice over is speaking about the threat in the north. #viserys telling her 'promise me rhaenyra. promise me' in what i believe is an echo of lyanna's last words to ned... i think? #like it can't be accidental) #god i missed being excited over this stupid and gorgeous series #obv it helps that i actually never read fire&blood (should i?) and i'm only familiar with the events/characters from twoiaf #house of the dragon #val speaks #txt

[cloverkingsmith]

Ref sheets for Nita’s big sister, Idonia, and Vizine!

#black clover #black clover oc #Idonia indigon #Vizine cloud #Idonia was highkey a bitch in life but regretted it and didn’t know how to make amends esp with Nita but she died before she could #figure it out #Vizine was her best friend on the squad and helped humble her #they quit tho after she died and became a disgraced noble bc of it #Nita and Vizine have a good friendship now tho #it started bc of shared grief after the elf reincarnation but grew into something more genuine #Idonia makes me so fucking sad yo why did I kill her

[rosicheeks]

You've been so quiet lately, Princess. We love you and what you post be it a trickle or a tsunami. May you feel all the love and adoration we have for you when you read this and all the asks we send you.

#^^ literally me rn #im ok im ok I’m ok (she’s not) #I can’t thank you enough for this message lovely #I know I’ve been bitching about it ever since I’ve moved #but guys this move has been ROUGH #I had no fucking clue how rough it truly would be #I wanna say since I’ve moved I’ve been able to properly chill for a total of 3 hours #(I moved back in the beginning of January) #my depression and all of my mental bullshit is at an all time low #the only thing I’ve found that kinda helps is smoking but my parents don’t get it and don’t approve so I have to smoke in my cars #and ever since I’ve moved I’ve had like 6??? close calls with the cops #im just so sick of this life #and then I feel bad bitching about everything cause my parents have it a billion times worse #my dad has to deal with so many physical problems that I can just feel him starting to give up #my mom can barely see and her eyes are make her entire head hurt #so she’s getting a surgery done soon (for only $10000) #and then my dad has to pay for a surgery where the fucking doctor fucked up and he’s still recovering from #and there’s literally nothing I can do #I know I need to get a job I’m just terrified if I get a job I’ll get even more depressed and I’ll get back into those suicidal feelings #im tired I’m sad I’m broke I wanna help my parents but I can’t so I sleep #im kicking myself SO MUCH for everything that happened. I wish I could go back and do it all over idk #I’ve been really really trying but it’s just been a struggle lately #I want to reply to people (especially my snap babes) cause I feel so awful for not being around but life has just been to much for me rn #and the absolute last thing I want to do is bring other people down with me… I want to be a light in people’s lives not a dark hole ya know #idk this is a lot and I wanted to reply to this differently but here you go #just know I see every single ask and interaction and it makes me smile so much #I can’t thank you guys enough for being a light for me right now 🥺 #even if I don’t reply to your ask I see it and it always makes me smile 🥰🥰🥰🥰 #I’m out of space but thank you so fucking much I seriously can’t thank you enough I love you 🥹😭 #ask

[bl00dw1tch]

.

#horse.txt #vent // #bro there is absolutely nothing worse than being pre t. like you think its Just gonna be about being sad bc dysphoria but no #no instead i have this evil fucking bitch it my head who gets?? pissed OFF? when i see other people on T living their best lives? #bc it just feels so fucking impossible. i know she didnt but istg sometimes it feels like me mom wanted to move to florida on purpose #because shes so fucking invested in me being a girl because shes feels like im fucking REJECTING HER by not wanti g to be a woman. #and now we're here and she Says shit sucks and she hates how florida is just Full of bigots but in such a fucking. 'aw well! <:)' way #'it doesn't affect Us and it costs too much money to leave and anyway yiu promised to wait till 25!' fuck you fuck you fuck you i fucking ha #te you #i know im not and ill get there eventually but i feel so fucking STUCK like ive fucking fallen behind and i cant keep up #and everyones getting facialhair and their voices are deeper and im still just fucking frozen. like congratulations i love you im happy for #you but i still have to wait three more fucking years to even Hope for the chance of getting my moms fucking Help with this #three more years of feeling like a fucking stranger in my own body im so FUCKING tired and im so fucking angry #i feel like such a fucking asshole but its all i can fucking thing sometimes. im just so fucking mad

[stranger-nightmare]

feeling very ✨alone✨

#it’s one of those nights apparently #where I’m convinced no one likes me #and that my friends like each other more than they like me #like I’m kept around of pity #i know it’s probably just my own brain being a bitch #but I just can’t help the paranoia #honestly I feel like I could sleep for an eternity and just happily be forgotten about #lmao sorry for the sad hours again #y’all can ignore this #the voice of a nightmare