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kittypurritto · 3 years

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Tagged by @the-sassiest-trixster thank you bb, I love these >3<

name: Emily (you can call me Em)

pronouns: she/her/hers

star sign: Taurus

height: 5′6″

time: 10:08pm

birthday: May 19th

nationality: I was born in Canada. My father is Irish and Scottish, and my mother is Polish and Ukrainian. I consider myself to be these as well :)

fave bands/groups: oh jeez, so many.. Day6, Yorushika, Three Days Grace, Rise Against, BLACKPINK, Of Monsters and Men... I could go on

fave solo artists: Also so mannnyyy.... LiSA, Zhou Shen, Ben Platt, Kenshi Yonezu, dodie, Hozier. I could go on forever aha

song stuck in your head: not really a song, rather a piano piece: Reminiscence by Johannes Bornlöf

last movie you watched: I love watching bad movies and I found a movie called “Big Ass Spider.” It was actually so much better than it has any right to be. It was hilarious and actually pretty good.

last show you binged: I just finished a binge re-watch of Community. Love that show sfm.

when you created your blog: holy shit. I just checked on postlimit.com and it told me I created my tumblr in 2010. I’m a dinosaur guys!!

the last thing you googled: bongo cat Africa (it was faster than opening youtube aha)

other blogs: none

why I chose my url: Let me tell you that my blog has been through SEVERAL name changes since 2010. I think about 5 or 6. My last blog name, EndlesslySherlocked, was made when my obsession with BBC Sherlock was at its peak and the hiatus memes were ever present. I started blogging more c/k dramas and found it strange to lure people in with my old name to a blog that doesn’t post about that topic as much anymore. So, I changed my name to the current; it’s my gaming URL that I use for everything else.

how many people are you following: 633 lovely blogs

how many followers do you have: 4,276 beautiful people <3

average hours of sleep: lmao uhm what’s that? Usually like 5-6ish. Sometimes less when my anxiety wakes me up by force :)

lucky numbers: 3

instruments: that I play? lol none. I want to learn some tho.

what I'm currently wearing: pjs <3 My Ravenclaw pants are my favourite because they have pockets

dream job: Forensic psychology is my top choice, or using my current field (behaviour psychology) with individuals suffering from trauma and PTSD.

dream trip: Japan. I want to go during the cherry blossom festivals and stay for a month and a half

fave food: ahhhhh this is so hard to choose just one.... shit.. I can’t do it. So I’ll list a bunch of foods I’d rather die than live without: spring rolls, tacos, potatoes (in all its godly forms), bread (lmao basic ik but honestly, it’s the best), pasta, chickie nuggies.....

fave song: Can’t pick, head empty. I like too many.

top 3 fictional universes you'd like to live in: ouuuuu good question. I’d love to live in the realm of The Witcher 3. That game was absolutely gorgeous and I adore The Continent. The second world I’d love to be a part of is literally any wuxia drama. I am HERE for it. I want to be a badass bitch that knows how to fight and I want Qi skills to fight with aha. Lastly, I’d love to live in Middle Earth. idgaf what war they’re in. bring it on. I’d kill to be a Tolkien elf in Rivendell.

No pressure tagging: @vyther15 @randomingoftherandomness @dangermousie @creepergurl112 @balancethehourglass @xxsammiiexx @ladymusashi and @ anyone else who wants to do this <3

#the-sassiest-trixster #tag game #about me #i love these #thank you for tagging me #get to know me better #i love all of you guys #i also dont bite #if anyone wants to reach out and chat more #i be chilling #music #food #movies #fictional universes #psychology #my taste #kittypurritto

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thesummerstorms · 4 years

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Rev Recaps Hard Contact (Chapter 20)

Final chapter at last!

CW: Violence & blood. Decapitation.

TL;DR Recap: Darman and Etain make it back to the gunship with the injured Atin and Uthan in tow, but Etain refuses to let Zey leave without Omega. Niner lures Hokan into a trap and Hokan is decapitated. Zey offers Etain a choice, but 12 years later the framework still makes no sense.

Beginning Kal Count: 39 Ending Kal Count: 42

This post includes my favorite scene in the book, and has probably double the expected word count because of that. Long-Ass Post.

We open with a Kal Quote. I am ignoring Kal Quotes this far into the game because I am already very informed on Traviss’s opinions, but that does raise the Kal Count to 40 already.

Instead, we focus on Darman writing poetry to a gunship.

:’) Dar has similes and metaphors down at least. Some unnamed clone troopers (white-armored) and a medic come running out and dismiss Darman when he tries to tell them everything that happened to Atin because he’s already adequately marked Atin’s armor. They’ve also taken Uthan, so with, finally, nothing left for Darman to do, he turns around to watch Zey and Etain.

So Etain doesn’t ask who Zey is at all anywhere in this scene, which even with the Force telling her he’s a Jedi and logical clues telling her she’s outranked, you would think that she’d want his name. She also uses his name in her narration later without being told it on screen at any point. So that makes me think they’ve met before this, at least briefly.

On the other hand their greeting is “formal”/ “etiquette” , not Etain being relieved that fucking finally, here is an adultier-adult whom she knows and trusts, so I don’t think they know one another well.

I’m sure the formal greeting vs “scene from a nightmare�� thing is meant to be pointed, but whatever, we’re moving on. Well, except, I do have to point out:

The ARC, who I am calling Maze until I have evidence he’s not, takes off his helmet, doesn’t say shit to Darman, just stares at him. I don’t know why that makes me laugh.

Valaquil departs off the gunship, Darman praises Jinart, and Dar hopes the Republic will keep their word to the gurlanin because “they deserve it”, but we’ve long passed the point where I gave a shit about the gurlanin.

Zey’s priority --> mostly tactical, get this shit show of a mission over, but does try to reassure Etain

Etain --> where are my people???

I love how Dar expects Etain to “soften” because he knows that she longs to be confirmed as having worth and value, has learned this even after a very short mission, but Etain is also deeply loyal and her priorities have shifted.

Um, Maze, buddy? You want to chill?

OH OUCH MY HEART.

We as readers know that their helmets were shut down by the EMP, but here’s Darman, assuming that he’s just lost another half a squad and that just like Geonosis, he’ll never know for certain what happened to them. The flashback is heartbreaking.

Etain’s ability to use Force-sense is so weirdly inconsistent and plot-selective in this book, but I love her already being able to tell from a distance that Omega squad is okay, even to tell where they are. This is the precursor to her being able to feel Darman “across star systems”, but on some level she’s formed some version of this bond with all of them.

And you know, no one in this book ever explains why the Republic wants Uthan so bad, but knowing from Order 66 that Palps wanted to use her for his personal goals always pisses me off.

Darman has become familiar enough with Etain and her expressions that this expression immediately sets off his “oh shit” radar, and it’s not even the first time.

The one boot on the gunship and one on the soil is actually a nice tiny bit of symbolism- caught between what the Jedi expect of her and what she’s learned under fire from Omega- if you chose to interpret it that way. And I can actually sympathize with Zey’s annoyance here because Etain, tactically, is being pretty stupid here. If Uthan dies before they can get her proper care, if they can’t get off the planet, then it’s all for nothing.

But. I wouldn’t want her to react any other way. This is exactly my favorite moment of hers. (Which is why I have the entire damn thing highlighted before anyone calls me out for that lmao.)

Listen, Zey, you know ilu, but bringing up her dead Master in a less than complimentary way was supposed to... do what exactly for your argument? He also completely ignores Darman’s attempt to keep the peace, but we just upped our Kal Count to 41 with the talk of Etain’s loyalty being a mirror.

Again, tactically pretty dumb I’m sure but oh holy hell do I love it. Especially that underlined bit in red. “Darman thought she had changed her mind, but that wasn’t Etain at all.”

Darman desperately not wanting Etain to be targeted by whatever Jedi mind powers he thinks Zey is about to use on her. Darman thinking about how Zey doesn’t know Etain at all, that Zey is taking 100% the wrong approach, but if Darman was just allowed to talk to her-

That bit in red? That and the response Zey’s about to give are two of my favorite lines in the entire book.

Zey gives in. Darman tries to get Etain to stay anyway, I think because he’s worried about the fallout of this moment landing on her, although it’s kind of too little too late for that. But Zey, as tactically expensive as this could be, as annoyed as he has been, is still proud of Etain.

It’s just one little tiny moment that says so much about Dar and about Etain and even about Zey. That little moment of pride lets me think they were better suited to Master and Padawan that maybe either of them recognized or would later accept.

Unfortunately, we now have to leave my favorite scene ever and return to Hokan’s POV. Hokan is injured and doesn’t know where Fi has gotten to, but as expected, Niner’s screaming has caught his attention.

Hokan has this weird double consciousness, this deeply rooted aversion to mercy or anything he sees as weakness or softness. It’s still a really... delicate little moment?

Listen, I know that Niner’s not wounded and this still is upsetting.

Kal Count 42.

Hokan still is vacillating between thinking of Niner as an it more than a person, and “abomination” and thinking of him as a Mandalorian man who’s been unfairly used. Again, it’s this weird moment of double think, but it works in Niner’s favor, because nobody wants to know what would have happened if Hokan hadn’t taken the time to talk to him, or had decided to use the lightsaber.

The sheer irony of Hokan avoiding the lightsaber because it was too much like what happened to Jango on Geonosis... and then Etain decapitates him... with a lightsaber.

Niner says he doesn’t like to complain, but. Also, still very fair. And a much needed laugh after that last moment.

“Probably okay” Fi.

Also This raises SO MANY questions because Mando armor is supposed to hold off Jedi if it’s beskar, but this isn’t, which means Fi spends the rest of the series hoarding and or wearing armor that isn’t beskar.

Etain is trembling, we’ll find out from her POV, because she’s still reacting to hearing Niner scream like that, and it rattles her deeply. Which again, I sympathize with, because it makes me upset.

But I mean, even if Traviss forgets it... there has to be a lot of emotion to being handed Kast Fulier’s lightsaber. He was the only one who was kind to her in the Order, at least from her point of view, she failed him, he was tortured to death with that lightsaber, and now it’s being returned to her. This is the closest she’ll ever get to closure, because as with Omega’s original brothers, there are no bodies left for burial. KT completely ignores the weight of that... but I think about it a lot.

Darman being gentle with her and praying that Fi doesn’t open his mouth makes me feel soft, though. And Niner gives her a tiny bit of the acknowledgement/respect she's wanted.

We go to her POV next:

Same, Etain. Same. Again, as she points out... Niner’s heard that before. And none of the rest of the squad who was there for it even really seems fazed?

She’s also guilty about not being Jedi enough of course, but that’s nothing new at this point. And I’m sure Fi and Niner can appreciate her not-Jedi instincts. (Or does Zey’s tacit approval mean actually her stunt with the gunship is rooted in some Jedi ideals, even if it’s tactically stupid? idk.)

Maze & Zey take turns doing the pacing, confirmed. It’s just funny because earlier Zey was annoying the shit out of Niner by pacing and breaking up the holos at the briefing.

ZEY BACKSTORY! ZEY BACKSTORY! IDGAF ABOUT KAL; WHERE’S MY ZEY BACK STORY.

Ahem.

Anyway, the conversation turns to what actually happens to Etain now. She is, after all, an orphaned Padawan in the middle of war time.

“Etain could think of nothing worse than staying on Qiilura, with its terrible memories and uncertain future... She was alone again and scared.”

Okay, so we can debate what Etain’s duty is in this scenario. As Zey says, she knows better than anyone what Qiilura is like, and that’s info Zey can’t attempt to replicate, even if he reads Omega’s reports. It wouldn’t be the same as having Etain’s first hand experience.

But that... still leaves Etain “alone”, “scared”, stuck on a planet that is “full of terrible memories” and is associated deeply with at least three months of trauma. And she’s going to accept that, because she’s being guilted with the Jedi values of non-attachment and duty to the Republic. But I don’t know that this is the healthiest way for her to finish out her training. Like. Do the Jedi not have counselors or something, Zey?

It’s just... really sad to me.

a) Note to self about the body language here again. “dug her nails into her palms”, tried to compose herself.

b) oh shut up about what’s expected of soldiers; not everything has to be comparative

c) I had a conversation with samwichwilson about this scene that’s probably still in the tags somewhere.

But the framework of this choice makes absolutely ZERO sense to me.

Like, my kingdom for the AU where Etain chooses to go with Omega squad and spends the next nine months learning to blow shit up with them. I have no idea how that would work since she’s a Padawan and still technically needs a Master’s supervision, but I would enjoy it. She would definitely be happier than she’s gonna be on Qiilura.

But... while the narrative is presenting this as serious-ish options... like, there’s no way Zey would have actually go through with that last one, right? Point about working undercover aside, if he’s offering to let one clone stay, he might as well offer all 4, and he specifically narrows it down to one of the squad, not all of Omega.

So while Etain typically seems to believe an even lower opinion of her than KT actually writes (to match her low self-esteem) I have to assume that she’s right and she’s being tested here? But Zey, what the hell were you going to do if she said yes and asked to go with Omega? Much less if, when she accidentally caves here in a moment, Darman had said yes and agreed to stay with her.

She would have failed the test, and you can’t really let them start dating under your supervision... so what are you gonna do about that?

Anyway, it doesn’t matter. As unfair as it is, the choice is not really a choice, and Etain has been guilted into remaining in this place she hates. She’ll probably even end up working with Jinart again. Bleh.

Etain seems to be taking these options as if they’re really, truly serious here, but as a reader, it’s incredibly hard to see them that way. Because again. What’s Zey gonna do if she fails the attachment test.

(Unless you want to argue that the predilection with Jedi non-attachment and rules breaking is 100% in Etain’s head here and her guilt and mental conditioning just won’t let her see that Zey is 100% truthful and kindly letting Etain go off with these people she’s become so desperate to attach herself to. But that doesn’t fit like... any canon about the Jedi Order. Or ANY of Traviss’s writing tbh.)

I mean, at least Etain knows herself pretty well here. Her brain is going “abort abort, abort” but can’t actually stop her from doing the stupid thing. She’s also trying to communicate to Dar that this isn’t her abandoning him, this is her still caring.

Listen, you can point out Dar’s lack of experience and still miss all the “child” bullshit. And honestly, his response to her saying that she’ll miss him comes off... almost a little cold. “You’ll miss me. I’m going to die in ten years, but don’t worry about me because I’m going the closest I have to home.” Maybe he’s trying to reassure her / also not to admit to someone who is now an Officer again that he’ll miss her too. It just sounds weird, even if we get the line that he was “considering it seriously.”

Or I guess what really annoys me is that in this moment that should be really personal and painful for these two characters, this just sounds... weirdly preachy?

Also...like... again Etain had to know that it wasn’t an actual option, even if the rest of the series will pretend that it was, including when she looks back at it in Triple Zero. But I’m choosing to read it more as a mark of her desperation- being so desperate and lonely, and, yes, a little trapped that her emotion overrides what she knows to be true.

💔💔💔

There’s some lines about how she’s a better Jedi Forever now because of “a soldier faith in her” but I have mixed feelings about those because they’re followed up with a bunch of bullshit about how she should learn from him because he had accepted his fate and had no self pity, and I don’t have time for ANY of that. You are allowed to feel bad when bad things happen to you, even if you are a woman or a Jedi.. Fuck off, Traviss.

Sweetheart.

Listen, you know and I know that she’ll see them again, she and Darman will fall in love, she isn’t trapped on Qiilura, a place of her nightmares, forever.

But it still feels like a real fucking downer of an ending.

Still, we have now officially made it to the end of Hard Contact. I haven’t decided if I’ll make posts for Triple Zero or if they’ll follow this format if they do. (Your thoughts/comments/feedback are welcome, as always.)

Final Kal Count was 42, which is actually impressive for a 20 chapter novel in which he DOES NOT APPEAR.

#Rev Recaps RepComm #Republic Commando #Hard Contact #RepComm #Etain Tur-Mukan #Darman Skirata #Niner Skirata #Atin Skirata #Fi Skirata #Arligan Zey #Captain Maze #I think

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atamajakki · 5 years

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anyway i miss this format so here’s Some Shit and hey, pretty much nobody will see because this platform is dead, right?

i’m 24 now, but changing my header info feels weird because this place sorta feels preserved. i started a new job, getting out of five years of Gamestop hell, and it sucks in a bunch of new and exciting ways but pays me more so i’m supposed to not mind so much. my ex is back in my life and we’re dumb and maybe rumbling about not being exes anymore, and i have a lot of complicated feelings there, but it’s really nice to not hate a former partner.

side note: god i hate my ex boyfriend so much. motherfucker.

also i wish my dad was dead too. motherfucker.

god i’ve missed line breaks and not having character limits holy fuck. i miss tags a lot. i really miss filtering tags. and being able to find things. i fucking hate twitter.

um. i like weed now? during my weird phase of going on date and hookups (thank fuck that’s over, that sucked) i tried it and i mostly just like edibles but they’re nice. wow. californian likes weed. incredible.

this post doesn’t read anything like my current textual voice it’s incredible. i’m regressing back into how i used to type on here, but maybe like, several years ago? it’s unclear. wow. wrow.

i’m thinking about officially making my name remiel (it’s where i got remi from) and making my surname garreau. apparently someone several generations back had it and while it makes me have two french names i don’t give A Shit about it? remi garreau is cute.

um. i’ve done like no game design. shit’s hard. Feathers had made like almost $700 though so that kinda rules. also i’m selling some pokemon cards for a lot?

idk what this is. time capsule for a moment in time, at 4am on a thursday on a dead platform with a lot of feelings. gosh. bleh. wow.

love is really fucking hard and complicated. i kinda want sex to fuck off forever. work sucks capitalism sucks eat your bosses i wish i didn’t have to worry about being homeless if my mom ever dies. real scared of her dying and scared thinking about it makes it real. god being on a dead website is liberating. i’ve missed stream of consciousness bullshit personal posts in the middle of the night.

also i’m really into friends at the table now? i binged allof counter/weight in a week and then have been slooooowly slogging through twilight mirage for like three months. i’m almost done. marielda was okay but idgaf about hieron.

more tattoos soon maybe. hieroglyph of my goddess on one arm, “cultivate saplings” on the other. i’ve given up on the septum ring.

i miss this place a lot. i kinda miss parts of all my old lives that i barely remember. idk. 2018 feels like it was my entire life and i barely remember anything from before it. i can’t believe i was with a shitty dude for four years but i’ve been out as trans for pess than three. i can’t believe i was with my girlfriend for less than a year and that that happened ended over half a year ago. memory is a fuck. it’s hard being nostalgic as someone who doesn’t remember anything other than painfully clear moments. i can tell you exactly what someone said that made me insecure during a bullshit conversation almost six years ago but i couldn’t describe 2017 to you. wild.

fuck. i kinda wish i could cry a lot? like cry real hard. shit’s really rough and i’m being so good. or being so bad. not feeling your feelings is bad but i got bad at doing that.

i wish i could be stupid in love. old me was good at that. current me new me is too scared of being hurt and too tired. is that what getting old feels like? you get too scared to be a stupid romantic idealist and just wanna give younger people advice and wisdom? i’m old. bleh.

you won’t see this, and i’ll tell it to you many other times anyway, but this feels like a fun secret: i love you. i love you, i love you, i love you. i don’t know what the fuck our future is and i’m scared and hurt but i fucking love you. i hope i can see you again soon.

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kimseunghoney · 5 years

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10 biases tag!

i was tagged by my lovelies @moonxlika 💛 @yeetdam 💛 @ggoncafe 💛 to do the worst tag in the world 🙃 so here we go (p.s. i love y’all uwu)

1. seunghun 🍯

2. taeyang 👑

3. mino 🔥

4. hyunsuk ⚡️

5. nam taehyun 🌹

6. bobby 🌊

7. byounggon 👅

8. chaerin 💋

9. woong ☀️

10. jennie 💄

[lika im stealing your emoji idea bc it was really cute. this is in no particular order!]

cue the long ass explanation nobody asked for:

listen y’all.. gdragon & jonghyun are my ult biases, but i just felt they weren’t quite suitable for this tag(?) also i wanted to show taeyang some love bc although he isn’t my bigbang bias, he’s easily one of my top five favourite idols. as for silver boys.. i didn’t know what to do ok? at first i wanted to cheat and make it an ot11 sb party. then i realised this wouldn’t work, so i decided to include only seunghun since apparently he’s my bias. then i was like no?? so here we have the holy trinity & woong (lika i’m not as brave as you, i’m keeping jihoon out of this). there are SO many people missing from this list i just really want. to. CRY. picking the biases was harder than the tag. ok bye. oh wait, i also wanna say that i genuinely bias everyone in 2ne1, i just miss queen cl especially rn ok

1. BETWEEN 1&4: WHO WOULD YOU RATHER KISS?

seunghun or hyunsuk?? fuck no. what is this. i’d kiss both plsjdjd. at least seunghun is taller than me tho i’m going with him :) also y e s his lips byeye i’m done

2. BETWEEN 2&7: WHO WOULD BE YOUR BEST FRIEND?

taeyang or byounggon.. this tag is hell. ok i feel like i’m quite similar to gon so idk.. we’d either get along really well or not at all? i’ve said i’m similar to taeyang too, but in a different way - our humour’s just very similar. so i’ll choose taeyang. i think we’ll have a lot of fun together just laughing at stupid shit and annoying each other. also he’s more extroverted and would bring me out of my shell (lowkey wish this question asked about hyunsuk, i’d choose him)

3. BETWEEN 5&10: WHO HAS THE BETTER VOICE?

nam taehyun! this was the easiest so far. look i LOVE jennie’s timbre SO much but namtae is one of my favourite kpop vocalists (yes, he’s not kpop anymore but whatever). there are only like two people that could be against him in this question that would make me budge (one of them is taeyang so thank god it didn’t ask me about 2&5..we’d be here all day)

4. BETWEEN 1&8: WHO IS THE FUNNIEST?

i’ll give it to seunghun! he’s really goofy. chaerin is more on the serious side (i don’t mean this in a bad way, don’t even think about it, i admire her so much) but she’s more of a person i’d rely on / lean on yaknow?

5. BETWEEN 6&9: WHO WOULD YOU DATE?

welp.. it’s getting inch resting. bobby is more bf material while woong is more husband material? but ngl bobby would be the most annoying bf ever, i’m going with woong. we going ✈️ serious relationship hours

6. BETWEEN 9&10: WHO WOULD YOU DO A COLLABORATION WITH?

woong or jennie?? i wanna pop off with my gf in a hard hitting song BUT an r&b duet with woong??? oh lord. listen r&b / soul is my shit and nothing tops that for me

7. BETWEEN 4&8: WHO IS THE BEST DANCER?

so.. two main rappers who can easily be main dancers?? why? i love them both, WHY? imma choose hyunsuk just to shit on yg for not choosing him during the ‘lie’ performance 🙃 the petty jumped out and idgaf

8. BETWEEN 3&5: WHO WOULD YOU MOST LIKELY MARRY?

mino or namtae LMFAO i don’t wanna marry either of them. where’s woong when you need him. look.. i love namtae like my son. he is my son. i genuinely just purely love him so much, i can’t even tell you. but also he’d be so D I F F I C U L T, idk if i can handle him (although i like difficult so hmm).. ig im stuck with mino.. BUT namtae would be the better husband imo

9. BETWEEN 1&7: WHO WOULD YOU NURSE WHEN THEY ARE SICK?

GONHUN HUH?? i feel like in this situation gon would be more independent(?) idk man.. can i take care of both of them?? i feel like seunghun will be highkey annoying tho 🙃 he’d take advantage of the situation to be a little brat. i pick gon

10. BETWEEN 2&3: WHO HAS A BETTER SMILE?

taeyang has the prettiest eye smile :( but i think i’ll go with mino bc his whole face just transforms when he smiles and i love that with people *cough*simon dominic*cough*

11. BETWEEN 6&8: WHO WOULD YOU VACATION WITH?

bobby would annoy me i just know it. but then again he’d make it very fun and memorable. he’s more adventurous and mayhaps i need someone like that on vacation with me. but.. a n n o y i n g. chaerin and i have very similar interests so i think we’ll vibe a bit better on vacation? like we would agree on what we want to do so it’d be easier. it’d feel like quality time with your older sister & i miss my older sister so.. chaerin! also i like being comfortable and she gives me comfy and homely vibes?

i feel like everybody has already done this / is already tagged, so whoever wants to do it, just say i tagged you 💛

#IM SORRY THIS IS SO LONG #also idk why this suddenly became a roast bobby fest but ok #i love him i swear #hes just..annoying #idk where im going bc most of the time i gravitate towards annoying people and crackheads 🙃#i thought this tag was gonna be fun but it was so hard to do im crying #@silverboys I LOVE YOU ALL #new challenge for me: stop using the 🙃 emoji #tag #i couldnt even include all the biases from my ult groups but ok

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