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#humans are space capybaras
jpitha · 5 months
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Vocal Mimicry and Ear Worms
Every time the drink machine finished, it played a little song.
It was pretty simple, less than 10 notes, but it was the same song, every time.
It wasn't even that it played the same song every time. It wasn't even that everyone on the ship - except the humans - got a drink from the machine.
The song was catchy.
Peg started it. She just found her self whistling the "drink finished" song one day. "beep beepita beep beep beep beepita beeeeeeep." She couldn't help it.
Then, Kelly picked it up. The song worked its way into her head too. She'd be working at her station and suddenly she'd be struck by an intense need to sing the song.
After about three cycles, every single human on the ship was singing it. Normally, this would be chalked up by the rest of the crew as "just another strange Human thing" but the problem was that it was the 'drink finished' song. Everyone onboard was conditioned to want to go get their drink when the song was done.
The humans could mimic is perfectly.
"beep beepita beep beep beep beepita beeeeeeep."
Captain Flowing River Rapid's feathers fluffed in irritation. Two people on the Command Deck got three quarters of the way out of their seats before they realized what they were doing and sat back down, sheepish. "Desmond! What have I said about mimicing the drink finished melody?"
Desmond ducked his head at the reproach. "Sorry Captain River, I couldn't help it. It's just so catchy."
Captain River clacked his beak. "It wouldn't be so bad if not for the fact that you can all mimic the sound so well."
Desmond turned and looked at the Captain. "What? We are? We're singing it, but it doesn't sound exactly like the drink machine."
The Captain pointed at Desmond accusingly. "Don't deny it! You're all singing the song at all times of the cycle! You know that everyone thinks a drink is ready when you do it. You sound exactly like the machine!"
One of the Sefigans who got partially up from their station nods quickly, their antenna bobbing. "Captain River is correct, Des. You all really sound a lot like the drink machine. How are you doing it?"
Desmond shrugged. "I mean, we heard the song, and it gets like, stuck in our heads. Singing it feels like one way to get it out. Plus, it's fun to sing Kel. Fun to make sounds."
Kel's wing covers clack. "Can you mimic other things?"
"I don't know Kel, I don't really think of myself as a mimic. There are others who can do it much better than me. Some humans made a whole career out of it."
"That sounds like a thing I human would do, yes. But what about your Des? Let's see...." Kel looks down at their station. "What about this?"
Kes runs a test for the collision alarm. It's a warbling rising and falling tone."
Des thinks for a second and sings - for him - a pretty close approximation.
Captain River gasps and leans back in his chair. "How do you do that?"
Desmond wails. "It wasn't even that good! I just heard the tones and repeated them."
Kelly entered the Command Deck just then. She was carrying a pad and her overalls looked stained. "Captain River, I've just come to report tha-"
"Kelly! Mimic the collision alarm"
"What? Um.." Kelly makes the same noise."
Now, everyone on the Command Desk gasps. Kelly is taken aback and looks at Desmond. "What's going on Des?"
Desmond sighs. "They say we're all mimics. It started with the drink machine."
"Oh that. I still can't get it out of my head! 'beep beepita beep beep beep beepita beeeeeeep.'"
Kes starts to rise from his seat again and catches himself, and sits back down swearing.
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100percentnotanalien · 3 months
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Do you think aliens would be weirded out by us human’s fucking need to just eat weird stuff
Example: cat tails plants, those water hot dogs, water reeds
Like why do so many of you want to eat those water hot dogs despite knowing the consequences
I mean- I can’t really speak, I’ve tried to consume the white dandelions 4-5 different times (please never do this you WILL REGRET IT)
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beechaotic · 4 months
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Imagine humans are the only ones with dark humor.
Like, aliens just DONT joke about that shit. And humans just pull up like,, “I’m bouta hit the south tower mfers!”
And then they make a dark joke about Holocaust, and aliens are just HORRIFIED. Just imagine that. It would be funny.
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soulchjer · 8 months
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No one talked about it, or at least i didn't saw it.
"Yup, I can take that."
(For all the monster fuckers in this app, and for me.)
There is something about humans that makes us quite simple, we really have a strange addiction to anything that could kill us.
That is a definition of how we can describe in *very* summary how we interact with aliens.
Especially Dan, he is one of the space idiots that humans would describe as a monster fucker.
Indeed, Dan could go after anyone who could break him in half.
...
Jia is a small and furry looking alien, he had sat next to the human Dan today and was talking to him for a while, today was his first interaction with the human and despite all the myths and legends around humans, Dan is very nice!
Jia was going to continue talking, but Dan made him stay quiet for a second.
Dan stared in perplexity at one of the new recruits, a kuaghan, a type of large alien, a terrifying-looking but gentle and large-sized predator. Jia thought that perhaps the human was scared, but he never thought that the human Dan had actually thought otherwise.
Dan: Oh my god... how tall is he? No, do they have a specific genre? Jia, tell me, do you know him, can you introduce him to me?...Wow, is huge, I can take it, barely... mhn, I'm sure..." He heard Dan murmur at the end.
Jia was dumbfounded, the little alien didn't knew the new recruit, but before he even managed to say a thing, Dan had already dragged him to meet this new recruit.
The little alien was scared! Did Dan take his new recruit as a threat?! It just can't be! He want to take him in a fight?! He has to prevent the new recruit and the human from getting hurt!
...
Dan: You're new, right? Hello, my name is Dan, I'm thirty-one this year, I'm single, I got a house in my planet and I have a job here, I got a lot of savings...
The alien hesitated but nodded in response and Dan stuck to him like a tick. Jia watched without words as that predator feared by the aliens acted just as surprised as he was at the human's approach.
Jia witnessed how the kuaghan was not only treated quite well by the human, but was also able to specifically smell the hormones released by the human when it approached the kuaghan.
The Kuaghan have a reproductive method similar to that of penguins according to the human Dan, the more beautiful the stones, the more impressed their partners will be.
Dan gave every gemstone he could find to the new recruit, earning surprised looks from everyone.
No one dares get too close to the Kuaghan, only Dan seems eager to talk to him, but this recruit knew specifically why he was giving him stones.
Jia only found out when human Dan told him.
The kuaghan even... started to get shy every time the human approached?!
Jia felt like his jaw might drop to the ground.
...Human Dan... Is Human Dan trying to court a predator twice his size?! and is it working?!
Jia's surprise could not grow any more when he found the Kuaghan leaving the human Dan's room. When the new recruit saw him, he ran away embarrassed.
Dan greeted him from inside his room, shaking and smiling with weak legs, only a fool wouldn't know what had happened in there, the aroma of the two was permeated in the room.
The little furry alien was finally able to understand the meaning of the human's murmurs.
Of course you said you could take him, but not in a fight!
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lilacargent · 2 months
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As im currently dealing with the loss of a loved one, this is my way of coping.
Grief
Grief is an interstellar concept. Almost every species in the galaxy has its own traditions and practices. Humans are no exception, like with most of their emotions their grief is all encompassing. Traditions vary from one culture to another, even people deal with it in different ways.
Kilare as part of a flocking species wonders about the human crewmates when one is lost in a battle. She knew the passed human Ellie very well. Turns out they grieve like a flock, huddled together weeping, almost giving into the urge to join she turns away, expecting this to last for a long time she leaves them be. When she checks next the little unit is drinking and laughing, she can hardly believe it, carefully stepping into the room “i am sorry, may i ask something?” The humans look up some still blotchy from crying, the human she knows as liz nods “you were all weeping just now, but you seem happy? Im confused…” fluffing her feathers Kilare backpedals “not to be insensitive, im just trying to understand your process.” Evan gets up and walks to her “that is okay, you knew Ellie well right? We are talking about her and how we miss her, laughing comes with the tears.” Motioning for the taller feathered woman to join the little group Moira makes eye contact and starts explaining “i know you are from a species that grieves as a group, if i remember correctly mostly weeping and spread ashes on the wind to join in every flight” impressed by the womans knowledge she nods Moira goes on “humans have many different traditions, but every one grieves their own way and time. Mostly in five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. No two people go through it the same or even through all of them. There is times we grieve as a collective, sometimes you need time and process as an individual. We are now reminiscing Ellie, but i already know im gonna have a cry later and ill never forget her.” Kamare could understand and respect that so she joined in. It soothed her soul.
It was years before she saw human grief again so up close.
When the Ri’ktil attacked they committed what humans called warcrimes without batting any of their eighteen eyes. The horror of the people quickly turned to fear. It was when they blew up a human colony Kimare saw the unified grief. Human governments trying to bargain with the Ri’ktil, families travelling to the floating remnants of the colony trying to find survivors, denying that what had happened killed everyone man, woman and child. A month passed and humanity had grown silent and passive, the Ri’ktal took this as victory and broad cast it to the rest of the species in the galactic counsel. A warning that they would stop at nothing and break them like they broke the humans. Kimare remembered her conversation all those years ago and realised that anger was still coming, she could almost seeing it brewing under the surface.
A month was what it took. A month for humans to start walking upright again. Not only humans on their planets but everyone, on every world and every ship seemed to have shared in the depression. So when the fog cleared the whispering began, then came the talking, when it turned to yelling the Ri’ktil took notice. It was too late for them though. Because humanity started screaming, unified rage became a spearhead of humans all over the galaxy, noone even considered not helping. The tsunami of humans that could not wait to tear their enemy apart surprised them, no matter their way too many eyes, this they did not see coming.
The counsel joined the humans in their fight, and quick as the Ri’ktil had invaded were they beat back aswell. The defeat of their enemies did not dismiss their grief. But instead of on a specie scale individuals began their own process. Four years later Kimare noticed a change, they had made a monument out of the destroyed colony, it seemed to signify an end point. Humans went there to process and make peace, they had accepted what had happened moved past it. But never forgotten.
Humans didn’t forget when they grieved, they remember and accept.
~~~~~~
Tadah
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thecommunalfoolboy · 1 year
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Just found out about the humans are space orcs thing you all got going on here and I wanna know how many of u guys finally realized u think humans are so strange bc ur autistic
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mysticalbitches · 5 months
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IMPORTANT MESSAGE
humans are space orca fans:
there are a bunch of porn bots on our tags and associated tags please DONT scroll past
report and block them
Generally i'm not super active on these tags but i hate seeing the tag have so much of these porn bots
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ena-113 · 9 months
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A human crewmate, Mia, held a long thin box. It seemed to have paper and plastic peices inside, based on the sound. A puzzle perhaps? A few other crewmates trailed behind them.
"Hey Bob! Wanna join us? We're playing Clue, it's a board game from earth."
Bob nodded and joined the others trailing after Mia. He had no idea what a 'board game' was, but it seemed fun. They eventually all gathered around a table in the cafeteria.
"Okay, so it's a murder mystery and we have to figure out who killed Mr. Body. We're all possible suspe-" Mia started to set up the board and explain, but was cut off by Jli'yan.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but why do humans have a game centered on murder and distrust?"
"Cause it's fun, thrilling. Good for poker face practice." Kaya answered, shuffling cards. They then nodded towards Mia to continue explaining.
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prev
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muse-of-meme · 2 months
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"humans are space orcs" "humans are space capybara" humans are space octopi. they have the strangest fucking body composition possible but they're scarily smart. they use this intelligence for the dumbest shit known ot mankind and theyre also really slippery
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gengarglutton · 1 year
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Humans Are Space Orcs
____________________________________________
Carrie: *Does a standing backflip*
Hinji: '. . . . . . The fu-'
/////
June: 'It's surprisingly easy to take someone apart. All a person is is a meaty lego set.'
Fengo: 'You're right, but don't say that again.'
/////
Carrie: 'FUCK ME!'
Hinji: 'My species mating cycle isn't for another week. . .'
Carrie: 'Wh-'
Hinji: 'Though if you wish to engage in recreational intercourse, I have no objections.'
Carrie: 'N-. . . No. . . I dropped a wrench on my foot. . .'
Hinji: '. . .'
Hinji: 'Ah. . .'
/////
Fengo: 'Humans are. . . Strange.'
Carrie: 'That's it? Looks like we gotta try harder.'
June: 'Yeah-'
Fengo/Hinji: 'NO!!!'
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dragonsrepic1 · 2 months
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recently, i've been looking at a lot of humans are space orcs. and that got me thinking, what would aliens think of conditions like eczema or asthma?
would they understand, or be concerned?
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jpitha · 1 year
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Hunting
It is unlikely that humans are the only predator species to achieve sapience in the galaxy.
In order to be a successful predator one has to be intelligent enough to learn your prey's movements and be able to think ahead to what they're going to do next but also be flexible enough in your thinking that you can improvise if the situation chances. If you don't have this elasticity, you won't be a very successful predator.
Humans are very successful predators.
****
Greg bent down low and spoke as quietly as he could to the worried Sefigan next to him. "I need you to stay as still as you can. I'm going to go around, and try and surprise the Gren guarding the exit."
The three Sefigans, caught between wanting to obey Greg and staying silent but also trying to communicate that they thought it was suicide to do so started shaking.
"No, no, it'll be fine. I've been watching him. He's not really paying attention." Greg stood silently and put one finger to his lips, then smiled.
Moving much quieter than one would think given his mass, Greg crept away, hunched down just a little to keep motion out of the tops of the bushes they used to hide. The Sefigans watched in horrified fascination as Greg would take a few steps and then freeze, not even breathing while he watched the Gren.
As he walked, he made no noise at all over the soft sand, his feet finding purchase slowly. The Sefigans, a small furry prey species from a rocky mountainous world felt very old fears from the most early parts of their brains while watching him hunt the Gren.
The Gren guard was panning slowly as he guarded the exit, his fur flat, his eyes dull and his mouthparts drooping. If one knew a bit about Gren physiology one could easily see that he was bored and tired. His shift wasn't due to end for another 3 demi-cycles and nothing usually ever happened on this exit.
When Greg was no more than 2 meters away, he reached down and picked up a stone, no larger than a comm badge. He raised his arm and in one silent fluid motion, tossed the stone high and far over his head, to hide its origin. It clattered against the wall on the far side of the pen, opposite to where Greg was standing. The noise and motion caught the Gren's eye and his whole body swung over to where the stone landed.
His back was turned to Greg.
Greg bent his legs low building energy and took two steps and lept onto the Gren's back. His higher mass bowled the taller but much lighter Gren over and the Gren's head hit the stone with a hollow thwack.
Greg jumped up off the Gren and checked him quickly. He was dead. Trotting quickly over to where the Sefigans were still hiding he motioned for them to follow.
Still terrified, they followed this... ambush predator they were scared of and by the time they reached him, he had gotten the comm out of the Gren's pack and was fiddling with a ring that had complicated studs all around it, fitting them against the door until one clicked and the door hissed open.
Minutes later they were all running across the desert to the canal below where they had hoped to cling to the side of a barge and float to the spaceport.
"Human Greg! Human Greg!" The smallest Sefigan called as they jogged down the sandy hill towards the canal.
"What is it Li? Can it wait?"
"That was amazing! I've never seen a human hunt before! Is that how they all do it?"
"Not really? Humans developed as persistence hunters, not ambush hunters, but as you well know, skills can be taught."
"Persistence hunter?"
"Yeah, my ancestors would pick an animal out of a herd and run after it. As long as we didn't overexert ourselves we could just... run until it died."
The three Sefigans looked at each other as they jogged. Greg wasn't breathing heavily as they went towards the canal, but all three of them were nearly at their limit and would need a long time to rest when they were safe.
"Human Greg, you scare us." The tallest Sefigan looked back at the holding compound and then back at Greg. "But, not as much as we were scared of what the Gren would have done to us."
Greg smiled showing his wide, large, white teeth. "In this world, sometimes you need to be scary." He looked at the canal. "Come on, the water isn't too cold, let's get in and swim towards that barge. It's not too far."
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100percentnotanalien · 5 months
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So y’all know those photo realistic artists?
A: that’s a really cool photo! I like all the detail on it
H: that’s a drawing
A:… you gotta be joking
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beechaotic · 10 months
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Imagine human’s variety of fiction is weird amongst the galaxy. Like, just the wide range of fiction genres is weird. Every other species has like, one genre that they write (probably historical fiction) and that’s it. Other genres are unheard of. But then humans come in with their seven hundred different genres and sub genres and the galaxy is just baffled.
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yo what if Danny was the human representative on a ship and had to politely explain that his biology is different but he does know alot about the average human because he was born there and was human for the first decade of his life?
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lilacargent · 5 months
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At it again, from another angle this time.
‘Old’ weapons. Or at least redundant, as a species traverses into space the new technology makes an old gun or even older sword/arrow/spear and so on useless and nearly powerless. The new weapons are ‘ray this’ and ‘beam that’ ‘plasma so and so’ .
Ofcourse this makes sense, the energy based weapons are far less wasteful and lighter, easier to carry and easier to handle. No need to sharpen weapons with a plasma blade and even then, why use close quarters weapons if you have access to stun, kill or poison rays and many more.
On top of that many civilisations prefer to forget their less then stellar past and make analog weapons obsolete. When the humans joined the council many expected them to do the same. They didn’t, production stopped yes, but interested people could still partake in lessons and the old fashioned ways were shown off in museums. Training to be part of a spaceship crew still included lessons in their old weapons as an opportunity to be prepared for going to “newer” worlds.
So with that in mind i have a few little vignettes ideas and for ease’ sake its gonna be on the same ship, the Serpentine.
Important crew:
Primoz, captain -Limoyh a four armed species-
Krag, second in command (brother of Primoz)
Kit, dokter -avian, bird like, she has feathers like a swallow-
Ortez, ASR (all species resources, human resources in space) -kiltak, insectoid species, think ants but exoskeleton-
Lugea, helmsperson (does the steering) -rock like alien-
Artex, engineer/mechanic 1 -also Kiltak-
And then our humans:
Kamari, navigator -Eritrean woman- (has cat named Sidra)
Markus, weapons expert (knows how to use them and upkeep, also shields) -Swedish man-
Petrus, mechanic/engineer 2 -Italian man-
Lilly, administrator/note keeper (learns languages for fun)-english woman-
Yes i know all of this could have also been accomplished by saying they are all from America… nope this is more fun. This is under the assumption that to get into the joint academy for space faring you need to be able to speak and write English.
Obviously there are more people on the ship but these are most important
~~~~~~~~
1. Sparring
Ortez was having a good day, the serpentine had left port and was making good progress toward their next destination on w-kl-18, referred to as deltax by it’s residents, for a routine drop off.
In port on Unity (the planet where the council resides and the universal court is) they picked up the final crew members among who a ‘team’ of humans. Pre bonded humans were supposed to be less chaos inducing and easier bonded with the rest of the crew. Ortez was rather happy the captain listened to him on this matter.
The humans had been more diverse than he expected and were currently what they called ‘settling in’. He was on his way to the rooms they had.
‘Stop it please we’ve been here less than 4 hours!’ The soft voice he recognises as Lilly’s is barely audible over the loud clanging sounds. Rounding the corner Ortez sees a terrifying scene. The two human males locked together with two sticks made of metal baring teeth at each other, with a push the olive skinned man, he remembers is called Petrus, breaks the hold and goes in low swiping at the tall mans legs making Markus fall over.
Ortez is about to intervene when without a sound the dark skinned leader of the group seemingly appears without a sound behind him and runs into the fray with a similar stick.
Whacking Petrus stick away from Markus’ throat she steps inbetween “stop it. You’re scaring our ASR. We want to make a good impression remember.” The men look right at him and both put down the sticks, Markus puts his hand up in a ‘wave’ “sorry about that, Ortez it was right? We were just sparring.’ Moving further into the room he uncurls his front two claws tapping at the metal poles “sparring with this? We usually only do body to body training, this seems rather old.” Petrus speaks up to that “ah yes those are old earth weapons, we like keeping up a bit of skill with several kinds as a side activity. Don’t worry tho, we train with blunt weapons.”
Not entirely appeased the insectoid looks to the imposing woman, who seems entirely at ease even though two people had been fighting. When she caught his eyes, she smiled that terrible toothy grin “truly don’t worry, like Petrus said they are blunt and it is a way for us to let of some steam and keep in shape. But next time we’ll do it in the training rooms… right boys?” Pinning the two men with withering stares they nodded quickly.
Ortez did not know humans released steam, but he felt right now was not the moment to go into that. Saying his goodbye he skittered to inform the captain.
This was bound to be interesting.
~~~~~~~~~~~
2. “The Roman empire”
“So you are telling me that at any given moment you could be thinking about a several thousand years old society that no longer exists and it would surprise nobody?” Artex was perplexed, when he and Petrus were working on the reactor core Lilly had wandered through and mentioned this old civilisation sparking heated debate. She thought the greeks were far more interesting but Petrus had been unmoved by her arguments. The other man speaks while pushing some buttons “well yea, the empire made great strides and amazing structures, Lilly just prefers the mythos of the greek while i enjoy the focus on millitary prowess.” Shrugging he looks up “don’t you guys have something like that?” Artex stretches his legs, all 6 of them in a wave like motion “not really, when change happened the history books were changed to make it seem like it was always that way” the human makes eye contact “wait so how do you know how to play -old civilisation- as a kid? We play fought with wooden sticks, wooden swords and branches we cut to look like guns…” that horrofied the insectoid, raised with violence like it was a normal thing.
Almost like they never left their dark ages
~~~~~~~~~~~~
3. Whats in a name (bit off topic but the idea just kinda happened)
Te very first time the humans were introduced to their new crew there was a bit of a hiccup. When Kamari introduced herself they looked up a bit confused but went further down the row. After Lilly they came back around and referred to Kamari as moon. Now Kamari recognised the strange look, they had translators that only had basic human translation, which means that her name “Kamari” which comes from Arabic and is a word for moon/soft glow of the moon, is translated fully but not as name so when they speak to her it translates out of their language to English which would be moon. This is luckily easily fixed with an update, but it was something that stil spoke of how new the human race was to the cosmos.
Her cat Sidra made them laugh as that means Star so she was the moon with her star.
(Random thought about how multiple human languages could screw with translations)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Soooooo kinda had a 4th story that is pretty sad but also bad ass, but this is getting too long already
Imma write that in a new post over the coming days
Hopefully people like this, if you have prompts you’d like to see with this crew feel free to ask.
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