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#autistic life
dizzeeflower · 11 months ago
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Allistics (non-autistic people) please read!
I’ve seen plenty of posts about it being important for allistics to not infantilise autistic people, and I agree.
But you know what I haven’t seen addressed and really want to make clear?
Allistics are not allowed to judge which behaviours are infantilising when it comes to autistic people receiving support.
What neurotypicals might perceive as “infantilising” to them, might just be what allows an autistic person to function. I have had this happened to me a few times, but the most notable occasion was about a month ago.
I was not functioning well with living alone and had fallen behind on many important phone calls, was not eating regularly, and was overall in a very bad mental state.
For the first time, I actually opened up to my mother about how much I struggle with these things, and it was a very big moment for me. She was not the most accepting when I was first diagnosed with ASD, but she has come far since then (still some way to go though).
She was facetiming me one day and was helping me write a list of things I had to do and was laying things out in minute detail.
‘Have you eaten today?’ ‘No.’ ‘Okay, you need to go to the fridge, then get some food, make a sandwich and sit down to eat it.’ I wrote all of this down on my whiteboard. ‘Then you need to set an alarm on your phone for 1pm everyday-’ she waited for me to open the app ‘-then you need to label it “eat lunch”.’
And this was the most support I had ever received in my life for my autism and I was so happy, literally thrilled. Happy flapping galore. Suddenly things made more sense, I felt more hopeful that with this kind of support I would be able to function a bit better.
But my younger sister (who really is wonderful, I don’t want this one experience to make her out to be horrible, she really is amazing) was in the room with my mum and she said:
‘Ma, don’t baby him, it’s offensive.’
And I cannot tell you how heavy my heart felt in that moment.
Something which, for me, was exactly what I needed to feel functional and to feel like an adult for once, was seen as babying by someone else, someone very important to me.
And I shakily explained over the phone that actually this was exactly what I needed, thank you for having my back but I don’t find this offensive I find it helpful. She apologised and she sounded mortified by her mistake, I felt bad for her honestly.
But since then I haven’t been able to bring myself to ask my mum for this kind of help again because it was seen as infantilising.
I try not to let people’s opinions get to me but, as I’m sure most people can agree, that’s fucking difficult. Especially when you’ve constantly been judged, mocked, and discredited by neurotypicals your whole life.
So yeah, don’t infantilise autistic people. Don’t call them an uwu precious littol bean. Don’t shrug off their ideas and emotions as unimportant. Definitely don’t feel sympathy for us for being autistic.
But if you see an autistic person being helped by someone they are close to such as a friend, family member, or carer, don’t call it out as being “infantilising”. Because in a lot of cases it’s not. It’s helping. You have no authority in labelling our support.
Neurotypicals please reblog but don’t add anything
Other neurodivergent people can add to this!
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bestie-enthusiast · 4 months ago
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So, April is autism acceptance month, and I’ve decided to spread some information for the NT (Neurotypicals) who might not know what’s okay and what’s not okay in regards to supporting ND (Neurodivergent) in their homes or community.
1. AUTISM $PEAKS IS A HATE GROUP no if ands or buts, they speak over us in harmful ways, DO NOT donate to them.
2. Do nottttt “Light it up Blue” This is a motion started by Autism Speaks, do do #RedInstead
3. DO NOT use the puzzle piece symbol, it is another product  of Autism Speaks trying to “cure” us and make us feel like we don’t fit it
4. DO USE the rainbow infinity symbol, it is widely supported as a harmless symbol to support ND
5. DO NOT try to “cure” or invalidate ND people at all!! We are not toys are accessories,
6. DO try to educated yourself, do independent research on how you can make a difference.
Thank you!
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asd-n-me · a year ago
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to other autistics,
in case no one told you this before;
Autistic individuals can struggle with learning to do things because of a lack of intuition. However, even if you learn to do something if the circumstances around the event change you may lose your ability “to know” to do something. 
A personal example from my own life: I didn’t intuitively know to help carry or put away groceries. Through practice I was able to on my own assist with groceries. But when someone comes to visit, or I did not go along grocery shopping I would suddenly not remember to help.
This caused people around me to feel I was purposely inconsiderate or faking my problems understanding to do something when I had been shown to do it before. 
You are not faking or lying. Your autistic brain connects things differently; do not blame yourself. This applies to a huge variety of things as well. 
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juicedoesthings · a year ago
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Hey so remember those erasers we all wanted to eat from the elementary school book fair?
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Well now starburst has a candy that looks and tastes like how I always hoped those erasers would
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autistickeely · 3 years ago
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Autistic culture is never being able to understand your feelings.
“Am I sad?”
“Am I depressed?”
“Am I happy?”
“Am I excited?”
“Am I stressed?”
“Am I overloaded?”
“Am I annoyed?”
“Am I just in a bad mood?”
“What am I feeling!?”
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autispec-hours · a year ago
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touch aversion does not need to be cured
touch aversion does not need to be cured
touch aversion does not need to be cured
touch aversion does not need to be cured
touch aversion does not need to be cured
touch aversion does not need to be cured
touch aversion does not need to be cured
touch aversion does not need to be cured
touch aversion does not need to be cured
just because someone doesn’t express affection in the same way u do doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with them. i’m sick of seeing characters who are touch averse be “cured” by the end of the story. and i’m especially sick of it happening because another character keeps forcing physical touch on them when they’re clearly uncomfortable. it’s not cute. and it’s extra not cute because it happens in real life, and seeing it in a show where it’s not condemned will make people think it’s ok. kids being “cured” of their touch aversion by their parents don’t need to be gaslit to believe that the pain that they’re feeling isn’t important. that they’re just being difficult. touch aversion is not an ailment. it does not need to be cured.
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lesbian-bookworm · 2 years ago
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*AGRESSIVLY THROWS SPOONS AT ALL MY SPOONIE FOLLOWERS*
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I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT FUCKING YEAR FULL
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OF HIGH SPOON DAYS,
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LOW PAIN,
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PLENTY OF ACCOMIDATIOMS,
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GREAT ACCESABILITY,
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NO ABLEISM FROM FAMILY OR RANDOM ASSHOLES,
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USEFUL AND AFORDABLE MOBILITY AIDS/MEDICINE,
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HELPFUL FUCKING DOCTORS,
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AND NO NEGITIVE PROGRESSION OF ILLNESSES
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liightfury · a year ago
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I don't know if it's an autism thing or not, but this handwash was the highlight of going to the bathroom as a kid
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asd-n-me · a year ago
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Being seen as a gifted kid early in life and then never being able to live up to the hype leaves you feeling like you’ll never accomplish anything. 
“But we always said if only you applied yourself!”
Yea. I’m literally trying my hardest and you don’t even think I’m trying at all. Really makes me feel like I’m going to succeed. 
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