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cemeterything · 1 year

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what's being low-empathy like? i've never heard about varying degrees of empathy or what an empath is, i thought it was an internet joke (i'm not usamerican so maybe the theory is more evolved in the US) isn't empathy something you practice throughout your life and interactions?

'empath' has been turned into a sort of internet joke as a result of the label being treated like this shortcut to being a good person by some, but being high empathy =/= being an 'empath' and can in fact be very unpleasant and difficult because being highly sensitive to other people's emotions can be exhausting and overstimulating. honestly i don't envy high empathy people at all.

for me low empathy is like... i can figure out how other people are feeling sometimes, but it takes me longer and involves more intentional mental processing. i have to actively want to empathize with someone to do so, and can quite easily detach myself from a situation if i don't want to. my baseline empathy reactions to stimuli are very dull and distant, and i struggle to place myself into other people's shoes and often draw incorrect conclusions as to how they might be thinking and feeling and why they might have made the decisions they did on my own. i can be unobservant if i'm not trying to be, and fail to notice other people's feelings unless they make an effort to tell/show me, leading to me often being less involved in social groups and feeling 'out of the loop' on any developments that occur within them. i am frequently undisturbed by shocking and upsetting things because i just can't imagine what they must actually be like to experience.

to make up for this, i try to ask people questions and observe the world and people around me for clues to analyze that might help me figure out how to empathize better. i also have a tendency to stick to routines and 'stock reactions' in my social interactions whenever i'm unsure of how to respond, even with people i'm very familiar with. i don't mean them any less, but if for example i know that saying a certain phrase or performing a certain action usually provides comfort and i see someone upset and want to offer them my support, i'll use it unless i have a strong sense that an alternative course of action would be more appreciated. i'll often ask people what they would like me to do for them rather than assuming because i know my assumptions are often based on limited and inaccurate information and might just make things worse, which some people find very considerate, but others find needy and immature.

i do think that empathy is a skill that you can practice and develop. i have a developmental disorder (adhd) as well as a very socially isolated and abusive upbringing, so i have no doubt that my lack of empathy is at least partially based in that, and while i don't think you need to be highly empathetic to be a good person, i do hope i'll be able to develop mine a bit!

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imthepunchlord · 2 months

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Miraculous Ladybug doesn’t deserve Marinette. Someone save her and place her in a different show

I swear I've heard that some of the crew, and maybe Zag himself, actually were tempted to have Chloe be the lead instead. I know Winnie was a big Chlodrien shipper, I don't know if he still is, but given how much attention and leeway the narrative gives her, yeah might as well let Chloe be the lead.

Marinette exists to be the ideal lead to learn all the lessons and be the punching bag.

If you don't like her, and you're not going to make changes to make her likable for you, why have her as the lead? Yeah, just let her go. The fandom will take her. We took in Felix who was "the worst", we can take in Marinette.

I will say, s6 may be the chance of change and maybe improvement? Cause Thomas Astruc will no longer be apart of ML post s5. That for sure means a change in Adrien as a character and his writing, as I heard that only Thomas was allowed to write Adrien cause every other writer wanted to have Adrien react and get upset with his father and how he treats him but Thomas wanted him sad boy constantly bowing his head.

So now, s6 and onwards, we'll probably see Adrien with a backbone.

And by extension, no Thomas pushing his vision and agenda, that does mean the crew and Zag can now make the desired changes they want to make. Marinette I would see still sticking around as she's very iconic as a lead, but there may be some personality changes.

But at this time, it is hard to say how it's going to go.

I will say the movie over all was actually really good and I'd stand by that, at this time, it's the definitive Miraculous to watch: the HM arc is resolved in one setting, there is LS fluff but it doesn't take over the focus, and it gave us the Agreste plot resolution we wanted to see.

Only real gripes are supporting characters are more set to the wayside, especially Alya, Nino, and Plagg; presumably we're going to get a sequel, so maybe with the LS out of the way, reveal done, and dating, that sequel will focus on Alya, Nino, and I guess Chloe more. Or maybe it'll be Sabrina since the movie actually took a stance on Sabrina's feelings around Chloe and how she feels about Chloe treating others. So there is potential there for something more to be done with Sabrina.

I am also bummed about the concept opening scenes getting cut as those were so good for the Dupain-Cheng family.

Either way, with the movie coming out actually being good, there is a chance that s6 could be the start of Miraculous' quality improvement with Thomas Astruc's absence. It really could be that he's one of those creatives that had a good vision, but poor execution of it.

A part of me also wouldn't be surprised if Zag took the chance to hit the reboot button and start over, and milk it more. I don't think it'd happen but it's in that realm of possibility.

So with s5 done and Thomas Astruc no longer involved, this is the time for Zag and the crew to make any changes they want, for better or for worse. Until it starts airing, we just got to wait and see.

#ask Punchie #technically this is their time to cut Marinette as a lead #but I don't think they will as she is the face of the franchise #but who knows #ml salt #thomas astruc salt

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lutawolf · 2 years

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Love In the Air Ep 9 Review & Running Commentary

We are now entering into the territory of Sky and Prapai. Be prepared people because there is going to be Sexual Assault triggers. I warned about this before but I think a few people really didn't understand. I'm also seeing a lot of people give backlash to MAME which is not cool. MAME does not do this for fun, it's actually therapeutic writing. I think that's one reason why I'm less triggered, I'm used to listening to and reading work by survivors. I'm more triggered when surprised by it, where I don't have a chance to brace myself. Luckily a lot of people have given me support with this.

For those who missed my early reviews, they can be found here.

Lets do this. Anybody else hear "I'm too sexy for my shirt." While Prapai is holding all this shit up and looking at himself in the mirror? No, just me, the old person in the room. Well okay then. Look at little sis with that brat energy. And look at Prapai just putting it right out there. Why? Because he has every intention of catching him. Look at you asking the youn gun for advice. Aren't you just in unknown territory.

I love Sky's facial expressions so much. You always know what he is thinking and at this moment he is clearly annoyed with the food situation. What is it with guys and condiments? Let us pick it up and look at it like it will magically turn into something. Hahaha, must be my imagination. 🤣🤣🤣 How often you thinking of him that you think it's your imagination? And look at Prapai implementing some advice and using that Nong title.

Dead, you mean those flowers, that are right there. Where I can see them. Those flowers you mean. 🤣🤣🤣 Sorry Sky, Prapai got your number. Look at that quick expression from Sky, he can't help but find Prapai just a bit funny. Clearly bribed! "I haven't figured out your eye color even though I'm right here." "Are you color blind?" "No, but love makes me blind"

Trigger warning: Flash Backs: Deep breath. Yeah, that's about the whole of it. He is flashing back to when someone else, once told him they loved him.

PTSD is what occurs in people who have lived through a specific traumatic event or series of events like war, a serious car accident, sexual assault or natural disaster. C-PTSD is the result of prolonged exposure to trauma over longer periods of time, often during childhood. From a PTSD or C-PTSD stand point there are two different types of flashbacks: typical flashback and/or an emotional flashback. A typical flashback is a sudden re-experiencing of a traumatic event in an person’s life. It might feel like you’re visually seeing the upsetting event over and over in your head, but it’s more intense than just a memory because your senses are typically triggered as well. Sight, sound, touch, and smell. Though the person experiencing the flashback may be safe, they don't feel safe. They are relieving all the experiences attached to that moment. An emotional flashback is when someone who has survived complex trauma feels “taken over” by an emotional experience such as scared, abandoned, helpless, or unsafe. Rather than re-experiencing a specific traumatic event in a relatively short period of time, an emotional flashback, can be quick or last for hours or days, sometimes even weeks. Typically it's when a person experience both that a panic attack will set in because the fight or flight has been activated. Yet there is nothing to fight even though mentally the person is sure they should be.

I want to point out that someone who isn't familiar with these types of flashbacks, isn't going to know how to explain them. It would be like never having ate a food but trying to describe it. Yet MAME describes it perfectly in their books.

So what Sky just experienced would be an emotional flashback. Even though it was relatively quick, we can't be sure he is actually over it. If you recall how Sky acted after having sex with Prapai, that was typical emotional flashback and you saw how long he felt that. Can I say that I'm pretty proud of Prapai for noticing that Sky wasn't okay. He is making his way out of fuck boy status. He's learning Sky and really trying.

Look at Prapai just grabbing Sky's hand. Guys, the fact that Sky isn't already swinging says a lot towards how he views Prapai. He is thick all over so lets cuddle 🤣🤣🤣 OH, Oh, see that face. Sky really does enjoy Prapai's humor. Which leads me back to the previous joke and the likely hood that he understood it to be a joke. Fuck, I love the way Prapai kind of drags Sky along. I love the way he is softly speaking to Sky. Like he is dealing with a timid puppy even though he knows this puppy has teeth.

Could You Be The Wind That Passes By

Aww, look at the cutie fixing his bed head. Meanwhile, Prapai just being amused. FYI in the book Sky dresses like this because of what was done to him. That is a common trait of SA survivors. I stayed in pjs for almost a year after the last assault. Also something that only an SA survivor would think to put in a book. Sorry guys, you might not like this review as much. Onwards. Sky doesn't see himself anything but ordinary but clearly Prapai sees him differently. Look at Sky's reaction to Prapai saying all this then when he gets to sweet lips. Awww look at him building up baby's self esteem. Prapai sees it too, he's so happy. Thennnnn he pushes too far. Dumbass. Haha, I love it, smack that hand Sky. Ouch, don't hurt me sky. Don't talk about yourself like that. First time going on a date with someone so down to earth 🤦🏽‍♀️ Have you even gotten to the date step before? The nipple piercings! Ha! They get talked about a lot in the book.

Prapai reminds me of one of my kids. I'mma poke you till you give me the attention I deserve. I call my oldest a black cat for this exact reason. I also call her a brat in the making. To which she replies "what's your excuse then." Um.. I'm a Sadist. We annoy for emotional damage enjoyment, totally different. Sky's inability to handle Prapai's flirting is so fucking cute. Here, let me just drink this water, I am completely immune to you. You know what. I'mma just leave.

Prapai is simping you guys. He is eating this shit up. He just chases after Sky. Sky is like bitch, I'm not a fuck buddy to your fuck boyiness. Pounce and Bounce 🤣🤣🤣 In the book Prapai is like dude, you knew that was a joke. Oh Oh, we are seeing our first bit of annoyance from Prapai. He wants Sky to know he is serious so he puts on his serious face.

Sky is like, no touchy touchy. I know a guy like you won't commit. You just enjoy the chase. Prapai you is like, dude, I'm not playing! Serves you right fuck boy. Gonna have to work hard if you want treasure.

Rain, you really trying to be upset right now. You really looking around you dumbass. Don't act like you didn't know that home boy was gay. No Rain, it's not obvious that you got bribed. Stupid Rain. It's okay Sky. Prapai, hurry back and pat the baby boy's head. I can't take this sad boy. And there it is guys, it's not that he doesn't like Prapai himself, it's that he can't trust himself to be with anyone.

Trigger Warning: Flashbacks: He dreams of being assaulted by the group. Even though we aren't seeing things, I think the fact that he has a nipple ring in indicates that he is back there. So, this time we are getting a typical flashback. Slight panic attack because it is a flashback dream but believe it or not this will actually help cushion the mind some. Which is why he isn't having a full-blown panic attack. By waking up, the body recognizes the need to not fight so it can begin the calm down process. At this point, I would like to say a huge thank you to the many people who in-boxed me with trigger warnings. NotFree even sent me time stamps. Thank you so much guys 💜💜💜

Aww, look at that smile. You guys, I can't tell you what it means to have someone there to distract you when wake up from a flashback. To have a bit of normalcy. While Prapai is cheesy, he is also giving Sky what he needs right now which is to not feel alone. Yes Sky, you are crazy but I'm here for it. Aww, he blocked his number. You gonna have to work harder Prapai. Ahh the mantra, this too shall pass. It's something I repeat at least once a day.

Look at Payu's face!!! Hahahah!!! Prapai wouldn't have gotten where he has gotten if he wasn't smart guys. It's just that he is a fuck boy and has never applied that intelligence and observation to a partner. Now that he is. Sky is screwed. Prapai cares. Fuck boy has gone simp. Ohh, look at that honesty. He tells him the truth, so he has an excuse to come see him. He likes a challenge Sky, he isn't gonna give up on you. You present everything that a boy like him wants. Face it boy's got a prey kink.

Oh No! Sky is sick! This fucking coconut. I love Sig your honor but seriously. Look how Sky helps everyone. He needs someone to take care of him. Did psycho buy another phone just to talk to his boy?? Niceee. Awww look, somebody is missing somebody. Looks like the walls are cracking just a bit.

These lovely bunch of coconuts, smh. It's okay, I'm sure Sky will get it done. Well at least Sig tried to be caring. Sig, i'm gonna need you to fuck the attitude out of Som already. He's getting on my nerves. Go Sig go!! Love this Bitch. 🤣🤣🤣 I'll go piss him off again. Hhahahaha. Love this Bitch.

Oh baby boy. Damn this is hard because I know what this feels like. The mantra again, this too shall pass. I'm not kidding, I sometimes think that I need this tattooed on me. I'm not even kidding, it's really what gets me through shit sometimes. So why is Sky losing it. Because He has always depended on himself. His mom isn't in the picture, his dad wasn't really there. He raised himself there for he has been lonely and depended on himself, when he tried to depend on someone else, he was abused and let down. He can't afford to run that risk again. I need to hug the baby!

Bunch of coconuts but they are there for their friend. Prapai buying new sims cards every time he is blocked, lol. Look a boy jumping up and heading out the door before fully forming a sentence. Told you guys, Prapai was in love from the first slide in. That walk though, what the fuck is that. Like he got a dick up his ass. You need to practice the concerned walk dude. No dumbass you can't trust him but go head then.

Nope not just sex buddy boy. You head over heels you are. HAHA the part where I called my boyfriend to be dad a bastard. Finally putting in the fucking curse words. Dude, he is so gone for this boy. Fuck that sound mike is annoying. In an ASK recently I explain that in the book Prapai is soul deep in love with this boy and though he is a scoundrel, Sky makes him a better person. He begins bettering himself to be better for Sky and he doesn't even really realize it. He just does it. See, even admits for never caring for a sick person before but for Sky he just does it without thought.

See, he even stopped himself because of his promise to Rain. He isn't a dick you guys. Just a fuck boy but he's getting better. Look at him even cleaning up!!

I liked it! Yeah, he's still a fuck boy. I mean he practiced how to say Sky's name in the mirror. To be fair though, he's never chased someone or really had to flirt. His looks and money have always gotten him laid. Now he has to navigate this weird world since he wants more than that from Sky. I'm looking forward to seeing him grow into a better person. Well, we are at the end. Hope you guys enjoyed! 💜💜💜 Dedicated to @ellaspore and the coconuts mafia

#love in the air series #love in the air the series #love in the air kink #luta opinions

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brw · 4 months

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Would Simon and Hank have kids? Like would they adopt do you think? :)

Hmm. Possibly. Hank, certainly, wants kids, and is by large an extremely good influence on young children and really values helping raise and nurture the young mutants at Xavier's whenever we've seen him. It's a complicated thing because Hank doesn't think he should have kids, though, and I think essentially has come to the conclusion that he should never have children of his own, lest he pass on his flaws and mutation on to them. I think this is an extremely difficult thing for Hank to really articulate, and I can see him having struggling to communicate this to Simon, who sort of presents as being mostly apathetic to the idea of children. I mean it's not something he's ever really articulated wanting and he's always seemed slightly uncomfortable at best, and downright antagonistic at worst around kids.

It's more complicated for Simon though than that. What I'm going to do is I'm going to list all the evidence against Simon ever having / being a parental figure to children, and all the evidence towards him being good with kids, and then come to my own conclusion based on these. The tldr is that Simon has a hard time coming to terms with his own upbringing and until he comes to acknowledge this it's something that's always going to affect the conversation around Simon Williams and children.

Simon's first on-panel interaction with a child is in #197 of Avengers V1, and he's portrayed as being uncomfortable, and a little bit pissed of. To be fair to Simon, the woman he's on a double-date with didn't call ahead to say her babysitter cancelled and just decided to bring along her kid rather than miss out, but it's also fair to say Simon is not charmed by this kid at all and doesn't really want to be in this situation.

The next place we're going to see Simon around kids is in the 1991 Wonder Man series, where he vocally hates children. He even uses his alleged dislike of kids as an excuse of why he can't be with his two main love interests of the series, Ginger and Alex.

As Simon says, during this run he reveals that his ionic constitution has left him infertile, a fact he seemingly is taking quite poorly, leading him to take out his frustrations on the kids he does see. I don't think Simon ever really actively wanted kids, but I do imagine it was sort of unspoken but understood growing up that he would marry someone and he would have children to continue on the family legacy back when that was his main focus. I think learning that this is not possible for him really upset him; it's not something he ever seemed to desire, but it was something he considered an option, at least, and now it no longer is.

The thing with Simon is, he also seems to have a really hard time looking back on his childhood, and more specifically coming to terms with the abuse he suffered. When recountung his childhood in the interview excerpts from WM v2 #1-#3, he phrases things in a very neutral way; "they call what he did to me and my brother child abuse". Not "I was abused as a child"; he says that's what they call it, as if someone had said those words to him and he's neutrally repeating them as what he's been told, and not his actual experience as a child growing up.

And for all the growth Simon has shown in recent times, this remains something he very rarely brings up or acknowledges. To this day, he always seems to be holding himself back with Eric, always seems to be offering him an opening to be different. And the thing is, I genuinely think that if Eric hadn't been a supervillain, and lived as a normal guy, Simon would have forgiven him in an instant. He would have never have kept what Eric did to him from having a relationship with him. It's only because Eric is also hurting other people, that other people are seeing his actions and recognising them as being wrong and as being evil, that Simon sees Eric's actions as wrong, imo. Simon puts very little value on his own emotions, his own experiences, his own wants for the most part, and we see that with how much he wants Eric to be good. Simon really struggles to recognise himself as a victim in these contexts and I really think until Simon makes a genuine attempt to acknowledge this, to acknowledge how much these experiences have shaped him and affected his worldview, his relationships, and his thoughts on children, he shouldn't really try and be a parental figure in a child's life. Both for the kid's sake, and his own. Simon needs to trust himself, and that's just something he's not going to do until he's actively worked towards acknowledging this part of him.

But this isn't to say Simon is bad around kids as a whole. Actually, I would say quite the opposite. Before we decided Simon was in love with Wanda the whole time, Simon was a genuinely sweet and good uncle to Billy and Tommy and valued his time in their lives.

In the Ms Marvel series, he's incredibly sweet with Anya Corazon, training with her and showing her all the facilities they have.

And of course, Simon was so good and sweet with Laussa from War of the Realms: Journey into Mystery. He's drawn to be one of the people holding her the most in little group shots. This is probably because he's a pacifist and invulnerable, but it also shows how good he can be with kids, especially babies.

Look at how happy she is to see him! It's very sweet.

So, yeah. I think Simon and Hank could adopt kids or, I dunno, have some weird clone baby if Sinister so desired, and would probably even be really good parents, but I do think for Simon especially there would need to be some kind of reckoning with his past and how that would be a source of conflict for him and being someone who's raising a child. I don't think he even has to go to therapy over it or anything, but if someone was going to write that it would need to be brought up and dealt with in some way, I think. And for Hank, the thing needs to be that a kid looking like him is not the worst fate for a child. He needs to learn and accept this, that the most important thing is for a child to be loved and supported, something he already does in full. He's a good figure in a lot of kids lives, but for kids of his own, he would probably feel incredibly selfish for having children when they will look the way he does, and that's a mentality that would take a while to shift. So my answer, again, is yes, I can see these two being parents, but only after a lot of character development.

#asks #anonymous #abuse #child abuse #ask to tag #wonderbeast #wonder man #simon williams #hank mccoy #i'm sorry for writing this much I feel I went overboard analysing and not. answering ur question. dfsbhfvbhfgbh

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bumblingbabooshka · 4 months

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Random question but if hypothetically T’pel were like a doctor or something similar, wouldn’t Tuvok also have that knowledge and experience and stuff? Cuz like they “share a mind” and junk?

It's interesting~!! I wonder about that too - based on how the Vulcan marriage vow that Tuvok & T'Pel exchange is worded: ("For you I consecrate all that I am / From you I receive all that I am / Two bodies, one mind") it seems the Vulcan ideal would be just that - two people in absolute harmony.

I don't think this is an immediate thing - we see, for example, that T'Pol & Koss don't get along despite entering into a marriage bond. But we do see that Vulcans are able to pass on certain traits and interests through a sustained meld. (which I assume a marriage bond would be similar to)

Like Tuvok says here, the meld is able to 'introduce' one person to the other person's interests but from this phrasing it doesn't appear that Suder has gained any actual hmm... knowledge? From it? He states that Suder's ability to grow the presented plant is "A unique talent". The phrasing 'introduced you to my interest in x' is also interesting to me. Like, did Suder find himself being interested in floriculture because of the meld with Tuvok OR did he just learn that Tuvok liked it and chose to pursue it because of that? I'm leaning towards the latter - it makes me picture that new Vulcan couples probably try a lot of each other's hobbies and that's very cute to think about. My personal headcanon is that a marriage bond allows for passive knowledge and fleeting general emotions/thoughts to pass between people, but specifics have to be delved into. Having access to an entire other life is probably a LOT of information you could potentially have access to and I'm certain it also requires trust from the person whose memory you're accessing, like we see in 'Flashback.' Ex: You may be able to sense that your partner is upset but to find out why you have to have their trust and permission to delve into their mind. I'd imagine this is also useful with young children who can't fully verbalize their emotions. So, thinking about your question: If Tuvok were in some sort of medical emergency and tapped into T'Pel's mind he'd be able (since they've been together so long and trust one another deeply) to access her memories regarding medicine. However, since he didn't actually study medicine I think it'd require him to methodically go through and learn everything along with 'her' which would take time and is of course only her perspective on what she learned and so would not be very useful. Ex: You can look at someone's answers but if there's no work shown you won't know how they got there. T'Pel would, I imagine, have to be with Tuvok in the memory to explain her thought process in depth. Also, because it's her own memory/perspective it's entirely possible she may have been distracted or focusing on something else at the time etc. I suppose it'd depend on what exactly he would need to know. It'd be easier to discern 'what does x look like' than 'how do I do x surgery?' I also think that T'Pel's memories would slowly fade from his own memory the longer they go without sharing a mind - especially those he doesn't access frequently. Or more accurately, most of them become his memory of her memories which warps them and makes them unreliable. How often T'Pel herself accesses certain memories would also have to be taken into account. Ex: If T'Pel hasn't thought about something in a very long time it's unlikely to be clear enough to glean any information from it though it's technically accessible. So I personally don't think it'd be an instant or easy thing. Like - he would have to seek out and take to heart that knowledge but even if he did do all of that he still wouldn't have the actual tactile experience of living it. Theory is always different from practice. I do think that Vulcan couples would probably go through each others' memories as a method of bonding. Also that during arguments they sometimes use a meld to literally see one another's POV. Through this kind of 'double memory' they grow further intwined with one another until one partner becomes part of the other - they go forth sharing a life and mind while also of course having their own privacies and perspectives.

#Thank you for the ask~!!!! Sorry if I rambled too much - it's fun to think about this sort of thing~!#Tuvok #T'Pel #voy #st voyager #Q&A #anon #Vulcans #also I say 'the Vulcan ideal' bc it's like how our marriage vows are 'forever and ever until death do we part'#It's like - the best case scenario...an aspirational goal #ALSO ... I think it's cute that Tuvok's interest is specifically 'floriculture' - JUST flowers <3

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lilflowerpot · 1 year

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Hello!

I just finished reading your fic LB (twice!!), you're suuuch a good writer! The characters and the world building/culture and lore especially are super super amazing! Yours is probably one of the best fics I've EVER read! The best one in the Voltron tag for sure! Seriously, it's super duper awesome! I also looove that you're answering questions here!

I was actually wondering about the Galra in regards to (raising) their children...

You said before that children are really very, very important to the Galra and that they are treated very well, hence why Keith's neglect/(abuse?)/maltreatment would really shock and upset them...

I also read your posts about the Idea of disowning children and how a child (perhaps not an adult?) acting out would moreso be considered a failing on the parents part etc. ...

Considering that Lotor was (rather publicly?) banished and (perhaps not so publicly) mistreated by his 'father' (and technically his 'mother', but the Galra don't know that I suppose), how would the Galra look at that? Especially the mistreatment, I mean some of the Galra upper echelon had to have known about it, right? Do they excuse it, because Lotor is only half Galra and Zarkon is the emperor? Is it more or less a kept secret? Do only certain people dis-/approve?

Also how is a banishment like this viewed by the general public? Wouldn't it be a really big stain on Zarkon's rule/popularity? Wouldn't it carry a sentiment like 'if you can't properly take care of your own child, how will you be able to take care of an Empire'?

(If this is a spoiler or you answered a question like this before I apologize...)

Also: imagine Kolivan/the Blades finding out about not only Keith's mistreatment but Lotor's past as well??? The rage... the empire wouldn't know what hit'em!

ALSO also reading in one of your tags about Kolivan having a mate and a child that he lost... And reliving that trauma everytime one of the blades dies... Is someone cutting onions in here or what? 😭

Keith, you have to make it!!! If not for your own, then for Kolivan's sake!!!!!

Anyway, thank you so much for writing Little Blade and induldging everyone with your blog posts!

Ahhhhh thank you so much my love!! 🥰

So you seem to have done your reading and be very much up to speed with all my posts about galra children (which is very exciting for me, I'm always glad to know that people are still enjoying my longer posts even months/years later!!), but I've linked the bulk of them above for the ease of anyone who is less familiar.

In terms of the behaviour of children reflecting upon the parents/caregivers/community, this is only the case while the child in question is still a child—and indeed the line between galra childhood and adulthood is quite a distinct one. I think of the Empire as a whole (ie. not just one cultural/religious group within it) hosting something akin to the Maasai coming-of-age ceremony, Il Mirisho, wherein the initiates are boys of the same "age set" of 9-15 years. So the galra equivalent of this is Q'tskraal, a quadrennial rite of passage for kits of at least 60idp (21.4% of the way through the average galra lifespan, the approximate human equivalent of 17y), the name of which is an amalgamation of two Zaalkh words: Q'tsaal (the tutelary deity of change, its name being synonymous with the qualities of mutability / unpredictability / progress / a demanding spirit), and Kral (from the root Kra, indicative of a physical trial of conquest). Celebrated only once every four decaphoebs, this rite is held at the end of Nydaan—the ninth of Daibazaal's ten phoebs, as, due to the galra's monestrous fertility cycle, the overwhelming majority of successful births occur throughout A’vael, with premature / overdue kitlings being born into late Hiikyl / early Nydaan respectively, meaning that as Nydaan comes to a close all but the most extreme of outliers have freshly celebrated the anniversary of their birth—in the hope that the Divine Twin L’lameih, whose benevolent eye is the emerald star of Nyd, will bless the proceedings.

Participants are presented with a trial which, if they prove themselves strong enough to overcome, denotes them as capable of sharing in the community's burdens as a contributing member rather than a dependent. Though the specifics vary depending on local tradition, the broad strokes of this trial tend to be the same across the Empire, with all the participants being ceremoniously bathed, clothed, and painted, before the rite-proper (which usually involves some element of combat, due to strength being such a core value in imperial culture) commences. More often than not, the manner in which any given participant triumphs in this trial is just as important as the victory itself, as this is believed to reveal some core facet of their character and therefore indicate what kind of a person they will be—a warrior? a scholar? an inventor? an artist?—and how they might best set forth to benefit the community. Notably, however, not everyone will succeed at their first Q'tskraal, and it's quite common to have to attempt it two or three times over before prevailing; this isn't a shameful thing(!!!), it's simply taken as the kit in question not yet being ready for the responsibility of adulthood, and thus they remain a kit (sometimes even as they age into their seventh decade) until Sa sees fit to grant them victory.

So this transition is one from the role of protected to protector (a great honour!) which of course also encompasses responsibility for one's self: as an adult, no longer can they claim ignorance or foist responsibility upon their elders, as their actions are their own and therefore a reflection solely of themselves. To disown one's child who is no longer actually a child would still cause something of a stir, of course, but it wouldn't be even //remotely// taboo in the way that abandoning a kit would. Now, while zombie-Zarkon was far from a good father, by the time he exiled his son, Lotor had already succeeded in his own Q'tskraal—though not via his father's preferred method of violent subjugation, but more by way of intellect—and was therefore deemed an adult by Imperial society. Although said banishment could never avoid being a talking point, the narrative was meticulously controlled, with the official line blaming the entire thing on Lotor's "impurity of blood" and resultant "weakness of character", so naturally Emperor Zarkon had no choice but to hold his own son to the rigorous standard that he would expect of any imperial citizen.

The particulars surrounding Lotor's childhood, however,,, now those are shrouded in mystery, and believe you me, Kolivan & the BoM as a whole would indeed be o u t r a g e d .

#i bet you didn't think you were getting a galra birthday post did you? and yet here we are #i'd apologise for koli's tragic backstory™ but...... i'm not actually that sorry lmao #Ao3 Little Blade #sa screams back #galra history & culture #prince lotor

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the-bjd-community-confess · 11 months

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Something is Rotten in the V0lks Community. Well, the English speaking v0lks community... in all my years in the hobby I would have thought a fellow non-JP hobbyist having the honour to have a doll made of their sketch would be something to be proud of. Instead, there's been so much nastiness. People congratulating her or cautioning people not to be rude are called 'ass kissing'. People are stalking her social media to make sure she never says a single negative thing about any other sculpt because she's no longer allowed to if she 'gets upset' when people don't like hers. (never mind what she is upset about is not people disliking her head but the relentless hatred thrown at it from all sides, and people taking 'hey don't be rude' as a personal challenge, because they actually WANT her to know they hate this head.) They are pouncing on anything they can to make her look like a 'hypocrite', obsessed with 'knocking her down a peg', all because of some strange anger about her standing out.

What went wrong? I'm disappointed in so many of you. One of my favourite things about V0lks is the variety of heads there are, something for so many tastes. This means that it's a company that has both heads I adore and heads I genuinely dislike and find unappealing, and I imagine it's the same for many of us fans. It's natural then that there would be people who wouldn't like Diamond, just as there are people who don't like Michelle or Amethyst (as we as people who adore them) but I never see the level of hatred Diamond gets directed at any other sculpt, and never with the same sneering scorn where it's clear the author wants Arid3de to see their opinion and know. I am not just talking about this blog. On the V0lksUSA Facebook, several people were leaving cruel comments after Diamond's reveal, begging Volks to cancel her release

Asking V0lks WHY they'd make something 'horrifying' like that, imploring they not make another head like that again. I ask you, how do you think this feels? It's just not something you are proud of being trashed, it's being trashed by people you thought were your comrades, your fellow v0lks fans. Arid3de is a human, and a v0lks fan. Isn't she a comrade? What caused this gulf? I don't think Diamond looks out of place - she fits right in with the Jewel series of SD16 who all have very dramatic, mature lady shapes. Therefore it can't be because she looks 'too different'. Then is it jealousy, maybe from someone who also entered the contest and didn't become a finalist? Is it people who became angry at being 'told what to do' (ie be polite and stop going out of your way to insult something instead of a simple 'not for me'?)I really don't know. I just know I'm extremely disappointed in my fellow V0lks fans. I always thought we had more grace than this, but maybe that was just my fantasy.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #Community Confessions #BJD Sculpts #Critique #BJD Groups #BJD Companies

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highvern · 3 months

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What happened to the couple in Track 5? Can you elaborate on their last fight, I would love to feel some more angst :') The image of the corgi was so cute tho hehe! Can't wait for the upcoming tracks 🙌

honestly im not 100% sure what they fought about which is crazy bc like... i wrote it but i kinda just go by a vibe to get what im actually writing down rather than getting bogged into the details.

but!! this got me thinking so take a seat

tw: TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS!

so to answer your question they fought and soonyoung said some stuff he didn't mean in the heat of the moment. thinking back i imagine them fighting a lot about stupid stuff because they can't make themselves discuss what's really going on. and everything has been building up into this big blowout between them

He's been cancelling on dates last minute, or is just not happy to spend time with her (like you know that vibe when someones there but not?). and it makes reader feel like Soonyoung isn't being considerate of her/she's feeling neglected so she tries bringing it up and doesn't do it in the best way, like it comes up while they're watching a movie and he's constantly on his phone and it all just explodes. and soonyoung is hurt bc its true, he's been taking her for granted but doesn't want to admit it. but he's also angry because he feels like she nitpicks everything he does (which she sometimes does) and he feels she doesn't understand him sometimes

so they get into a really ugly fight like screaming, crying, both of them rightfully upset but using their hurt to one up each other like only one of them can be "right." and then soonyoung blabs"if i knew you needed so much attention then I'd have never asked you out" before he realizes what he's saying. and she isn't innocent either bc she responds with "yeah, and if i knew you'd turn into such a dick i'd never said yes." they're just saying things they don't mean to hurt the other and boy does it work!

in my head track 5 happens a few weeks after this and Soonyoung keeps calling her because he is sorry but she's done with him, has fully disappeared from his life. pictures gone on social media, doesn't even bother getting any of her stuff back from his apartment and ships a box of his stuff despite them living in the same city. and if you look at her instagram you'd never think she just went through a break up let alone was dating someone for a few years because there isn't a trace of Soonyoung ANYWHERE. Some of it is an intentional effort to hurt him and the other part is realizing having someone bring that ugliness out of you is kind of scary. which is why i chose the lyric at the top because they are better off apart, and she realizes that while Soonyoung is holding on to the past

i see them ending up as the one that got away for each other and when they do eventually start dating other people and run into each other they'll subconsciously check the other 's reaction because they'll never fully be over each other

that was so much longer than i thought it was gonna be but i hope you feel the angst!!!

#anon ask #answered ask #🫡 highvern

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squirrel-fund · 1 year

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Hey Auds! How are you doing? (: So I have been thinking about Mickey (as one does) and I keep wondering about his struggle with his sexuality. I remember watching an interview with one of the writers / producers that said around s3 that Mickey wouldn't even admit to himself that he's gay and that he convinces himself it's a phase and something he's doing on the side... I can't help but disagree. I could see that for s1 but s3? What do you think?

Hey, Anon xx!! I'm doing really good actually!! What about you, love??

Hmm, I thought this would be easy to answer but the more I thought about it, I've decided it's a little complicated actually 😅

So, I believe S3 is the turning point where Mickey realizes he has real feelings for Ian.

So, in the beginning of the season, I can jive with the idea of Mickey not even admitting to himself that he's gay. I don't see him convincing himself it's just a phase though. Because if it's just a phase, you don't stalk the guy you're "Fucking on the side" and then punch his lunch date. If it's a phase, you don't invite that same guy over for a fucking slumber party and make them pizza rolls.

It's why he hits and kicks Ian at the abandoned building. Ian says the words that Mickey's heart has been screaming at him for a long time: "You love me. And you're gay."

And that fucks our boy up!

Because finally, he went and became the person his dad always made fun of him being.

A bitch.

Some side notes that came to me but not sure where to put them:

If Mickey really thought that fucking guys or being fucked by guys was really just a phase, why didn't he just go to Boystown? Get dicked down when he got the itch for some strange then go on with his life? We know why...

Also, I'm aware he finally does go find a guy in a park but that's after S3 and he was fucking desperate. He had every opportunity to find someone else in their area... that's clear from that ROTC guy that Ian was fucking behind the bleachers.

Another thing... if it was a phase, why is he so upset to marry a prostitute? Someone he could get sex freely from whenever he wanted. (I feel like I should make it clear that I obviously know why he didn't. I am merely going off what that idiot writer said)

Also, also, I really love the idea that Mickey also asked Mandy about the "look" 😅 like, imagine he asked, and then Ian did that awkward af staring in the hallway at school and now Mickey's mind is b l o w n.

This got a lot longer than I thought it would lol anyway, enjoy my three cents.

#gallavich #anon xx #auds answers

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drawlfoy · 9 months

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I can't tell you just how heartbroken Wonders of Ohio left me. I've only ever felt that way with one other fic, and even then WoO topped it. Unlike WoO, the other fic had a very clean cut ending to it (they both died at the end rip) so I wasn't left to my own thoughts about what could've happened after. Which might be why WoO has been absolutely haunting me for the past two days, it hasn't left my mind at all. I think about certain moments, the ending, oh god ESPECIALLY THE ENDING, AT LEAST once an hour. I get that familiar feeling of my throat drying up and my eyes begin to water when I think about it. Another reason being the way you write. I was able to immerse myself into the story and imagine what I was reading in my head, one specific case of this I remember was when Draco made Reader and himself late to school. When he was fidgeting in the passengers seat, his hair unkempt, I could almost see him. I imagined draco with his messy platinum hair, wearing a muggle polo shirt because its just so posh rich kid of him, nervous as he leaned over the middle compartment into the backseat as he performed that glamour spell. I've never been very creative and imaginative but with your writing it was easy for me. It reminded me of how I was able to do the same when reading the Harry Potter books, being able to almost live in that universe in my head was so refreshing. Anyways this is really long, SORRY, but when I saw that you also had a Tumblr (as I originally read your stories on AO3) I just had to look. I scrolled through your page for a while and I gasped when I eventually saw that you posted what you started on writing for a continued ending? (I don't know how to phrase it I'm sorry 😭) I read it and while WoO is still breaking my heart over and over again, I think I'll be able to think about it for longer than 5 minutes at a time without bursting into tears now. So thank you. 🩷

AHHH i’m so upset bc i typed out a whole response and the fucking tumblr app (count ur days staff) deleted it urghhh

anyway some points i’d like to hit (apologies for the length but i just wanted to give this the response it deserved):

1) first of all THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHABKYOU this was genuinely the highlight of my whole year. people like you are the reason i write and i’m being so genuine when i say that this message is like the kind of stuff i dream about getting as a writer. so in conc i’m kissing you on the mouth you didn’t need to but you wrote all of this out and for that i’m forever grateful

2) some thoughts on the ending: first of all IM SORRY lmaoo. i’ll let u in on a little secret: i actually originally planned on a completely different ending where y/n ended up using the box right off the bat and went back to england and spent the last half of the fic learning magic and interacting with the golden trio crew/the malfoys. i told this to a few writer friends and they made me realize that it wouldn’t be as useful in actually answering the silly question that i based the whole fic on (what would draco do if he was plopped in the middle of muggle america?). i decided then that i really was more interested in learning how draco’s character would develop as he came to love someone who was fundamentally differently from him (and didn’t first go through a change that departed from her basic character traits). from then on i realized that a happy ending wouldn’t involve either of them giving up their world at the end of the summer, since they needed to grow up a little bit (and at that point i was old enough to find the idea of giving up your entire life for a relationship at 18 completely terrifying). hence the sad ending…but i think in the long run it means that they end up having a much healthier dynamic later on!

3) if you want to know about what happened after the deleted scene you found: i left the ending so open because i always thought i’d come back to write another series where i explored what happened after, but i don’t think i’ll end up doing that so i’ll tell you what i was planning. i always imagined y/n eventually going to england after graduating and getting established in her career and learning magic (because like literally who wouldn’t if presented with that option). draco is just kind of like a stay at home husband who’s just psyched to be there.

4) thank you so so much for your note about how immersive WoO was!! i’m ngl i’ve always struggled with incorporating imagery into my work. i spent my formative years avoiding anything i considered to be purple prose and that really reflected in my writing. i’m not a super visual person so if i could mention the 3 details i think are important in each scene and could just get on with the meat of the plot, i would, so i’m so thrilled to hear that it was able to give you that experience as a reader despite the fact that i’ve always been worried that i can’t 🥹 thank you again for telling me all of this bc it genuinely warmed my heart i know that this is a little disjointed but oml this like made my day

ill stop talking now because i’m gonna get even more incoherent okok but thank you!!!!! <3

#dee overshares #legendary anon

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eileen-crys · 2 years

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Some of the reasons given on that reddit thread for it being faked are a bit ridiculous imo! I do accept that we don't know for certain (sure, it *could* be a faked letter and/or it could have been acquired by somebody else), but when the reason they gave was 'you can find anything on the dark web' I had to laugh – I get that that is true of lots of things like actual products, but referring to this lmao it just made me imagine like

"Hello I would like a letter please, from John Deacon to his sister, circa 1972"

"I'm afraid we don't sell those here sir but if you try the dark web you should find plenty there"

And the comment that same person made about John and his mother? What an assumption to make! Based on a single comment, twice translated, from an interview decades ago, it's a bit of a reach, not to mention a disrespectful (even just plain awful) thing to put forward – and they said it as though it's a fact 🙄

Anyway, if that's the kind of thing people are commenting, I'm glad the posts are no longer there – if he *was* genuine then it would have been awful if similar comments had been left for him to see. But I am pleased we were able to see what he shared.

As for why they're gone, I think there are more possible reasons than were suggested on the thread e.g. someone from a tabloid could have approached him about buying a story – that would be a very good reason to take it all down before it could be twisted into another one of those "The TRAGIC reason why Queen bassist [etc etc]" things!

(--lou/hospitality) (sorry this got so long lol)

It's okay, I agree with you about everything tbh. 🙏🏻 It's fair to be skeptical when someone presents themselves online as a relative of someone famous, but the doubts of some people were a bit stretched, like using a double translated interview from the mid 80s as the unfathomable proof that john had a bad relationship with his mom and sister, and therefore claiming that this "brother in law" is "wrong" simply because he said Molly kept newspapers about Queen/John and John gave his sister some gifts, and that goes against John's (questionably translated and not elaborated) answer in japan 84. Like, the audacity? Also someone else thinking the letter was fake because "some wording was weird" ??? How would you know? Maybe that's just how he wrote to his sister. My mom and I talk in the weirdest way possible, you can't question such colloquialisms within his family. 🤔

Also yeah the dark web comment was funny tbh. If you looked at his reddit he used to post pics of his dog and discuss about stamps, why would an old dude go in the dark web to look for John's letters to his sister? Specially when everything else he posted was basically newspaper cuts and some things he seemed to know rather superficially? 😅😅😅

I remember him from a YouTube comment from at least 3 years ago, on a reaction video to a live concert. He seemed really humble and once again just recalling his memory of said concert (I think it was Hammersmith Odeon). Imho if he was someone random seeking for fame or to spread fake rumours about John he would've just done it, like many other idiots have already done and keep doing.

He seemed genuinely heartwarmed by Queen fans and aware of what to answer or not answer regarding John and I'm still upset his profile was terminated so abruptly. 😔 The journalist possibility makes sense but I still feel it's the fault of some mean or invasive fan.

#i think someone thought about the queen management making him shut up but thats a bit too much imho #idk really #rich laurence #queen reddit

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septembersghost · 1 year

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I really felt sorry for OW throughout the press.It was the textbook definition of misogyny. I know you probably see it as a Getaway Car situation but I feel like she really loved him(I swear I am not a ow fan or shipper and I KNOW she have done/said questionable things in past.) But I don't think anyone would have stayed with someone who attracts so much hate towards you unless you have real feelings for them. Not to mention the way her exhusband weaponized that hate and used it out of pure spite. I can definitely see why she left that man. As a mom I can't imagine someone telling me that I don't love my kids because I moved on from an abusive a****** to someone who actually treats me like a human being(my ex wasn't exactly the nicest person). To think this drama became mainstream and her being a 'bad mom' was a normal opinion because she dated harry is so bad. The misogyny becomes evident once you realise that Olivia took so much shit when people like Chris brown is still thriving.

oh i completely agree with you, the way olivia was treated was despicable and uncalled for - back in september, i reblogged this and it holds true (it's worth reading the entire piece).

In my six years as Editor-in-Chief of EMPIRE Magazine, I saw hundreds, thousands, of films (and TV shows) launch. I saw the press conferences, the junkets, the premieres, read the headlines and columns and interviews; I went on set visits, did some of those interviews myself, walked the red carpet before the talent had even left their hotel and studied the reviews. And out of those hundreds, thousands, I struggle to recall one that has come close to the circus of toxicity and triviality that DWD has turned out to be. And more specifically, that of a director who was as rinsed and wrung out as OW. Most strikingly, this isn’t just the stuff of tabloids, it’s seeped through into film culture, with critics and journalists and readers swept up in speculation and giddy fascination at a woman having her work barely taken seriously while her character and privacy are cracked open.

it also doesn't matter, nor is it our business, if they did start out in the getaway scenario, it lasted much longer than that, and she was torn to shreds online through every step of it. it's not even about whether or not she made some missteps (and the article there mentions the awful way she and flo were discussed and how the media salivated over making that into a cat fight without any evidence), or past mistakes, there's no excuse for the sheer amount of vitriol she received from his supposed fans.

i have more to say about her ex and his behavior that i have been told but i can't address it publicly, so the short response is that i agree with you, and by many accounts, she had very real reasons for needing to get out of that relationship. the way she was discussed as a mother was horrific, the papers being served to her on stage was too. i'm so sorry you went through a situation where an ex treated you badly too. :( you deserve so much better than that. it's gross that h clearly cared for her and that was twisted into some salacious thing and splashed all over various media. and it's terrible that we do this, over and over again, to women simply for dating famous "desirable" men (i have stumbled accidentally on multiple hate blogs dedicated to attacking the girlfriends of famous men in the past week and it is very concerning to me).

the misogyny is ABSOLUTELY apparent - think of how many male directions get away with actual abusive behavior, and this woman was treated like a demon for...her dating life?...it's upsetting. we should have learned better so long ago.

#basically tl;dr but you're right on all of this #anonymous #letterbox

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nongnaos · 2 years

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bl / gl tag game

I was tagged by @icouldhyperfixatehim in probably Feb/Mar but I literally just had not watched enough bl/gls to actually do this. Then got tagged again by @talays-portkey recently (it is no longer recently, this has been in my drafts, 98% done for a month??) and was like ohhh I can probably do this now!

your all time favourite bl character and why

I'm gonna say Pat and Pran both bc bb is SO dear to my heart and I feel like they are a good representation of "opposites attract" bc they handle things/think differently a lot but are so similar it works.

what's your one character from a bl you wanted to punt into the stratosphere ( you only get one so choose wisely )

Honestly none? If there has been any show where I've really disliked the leads then I've probably given up watching, as for side characters I'm willing to forgive a lot in fiction that I probably wouldn't IRL. Also shitty people give the story more drama and I do live for the drama. One thing that I do find bizarre and I struggle with are characters who ship other characters in the show and will tell them, or post about them on social media... it's just something I would feel weird about if it happened to me (and I can't imagine that happening realistically as someone who grew up in Ireland in the 2000's.)

the best music moment from a bl

Ok ok, living for bb and the rooftop kiss but the very specific moment when Pat is telling Pran all the things he liked when Pran was gone (I didn't need to compete, or be paranoid, or know what your GPA was etc) and Pran is clearly upset about it and then he says "but it was so depressingly lonely for me" and Pran looks back at him and it's the moment where everything starts to change and just as Pran looks back into Pat's eyes with hope for the first time there's a little 4 note drum roll (@10:14) and it just perfectly encapsulates that feeling of anticipation when your heart skips a beat, I just [muffled screams into a pillow]. Also the Not Me industrial sounding background music. It was so different for a bl but works perfectly with the aesthetic and the feeling of the show. Same with Heartstopper, great soundtrack, perfect vibes for the show. Also the intro song for The Eclipse, I really love it too!

what's a popular heterosexual text that you would like to see adapted into a bl / gl ?

Looove a cheesy romcom so maybe a GL 10 Things I Hate About You, or maybe one day my dream of seeing A Cinderella Story with Austin Ames realising she's a trans girl will come true!!! Or the lesbian 13 Going On 30 where she goes to the future to realise she's in love with her best friend (a girl, sorry Mark Ruffalo) and realises she's gay and maybe that's why people picked on her at 13 bc they all knew she was ✨️different✨️ and she goes back and is like "i know being gay is scary rn but it actually does get better and I've seen it!!". Coyote Ugly!! The Prince and Me!!!! Gimme lesbian romcoms I beg!!! Most of these gave off wlw vibes anyway, making them gay now would just be righting the world.

a scene from a bl that always makes you laugh ?

We Best Love where they almost get caught on the couch and Shuyi introduces himself overly formally and Shide just laughs at him and Shuyi gives him the 👀🤨 (gif)

Also, that moment in Semantic Error after Jaeyoung gets asked to work on Sangwoo's project and he's in slow-mo dancing down the stairs like "yeah, I'm gonna ruin this kid's life".

what two random bl/gl characters would make hilarious exes ?

Not hilarious but Namu from Not Me and Ink from Bad Buddy. They meet when Ink is taking scenery photos and sees Namu's graffiti and they get to talking and they have similar ideas and ideologies, Namu starts bringing Ink to protests and Ink brings her to some exhibitions etc etc they stay friends after bc wlw.. and then in the future the BB gang inkpa&patpran all start attending protests together. (Didn't P'Aof say patpran would definitely be joining those protests if they were in the same show? Like it all makes so much sense)

biggest disappointment ?

The way Not Me just sort of fell off in terms of storyline in the second half. Its only a disappointment bc those first episodes were incredible and the show deserved better.

who would be the funniest person to watch a bl in its entirety and which one would you make them watch .

Tankhun, and seeing as we've seen his reactions to steamy scenes and action or horror shows I feel like we should watch Manner of Death? I haven't seen it yet but I've heard it's steamy and mafia based so he could pick apart the mafia stuff and go wild at the smut.

best wardrobe moment / or character wardrobe from a bl

Shuyi's emo boy wardrobe from season 1 of We Best Love.

Wei Wuxian's emo boy wardrobe but make it historical.

Ink's lesbian art teacher vibes from Bad Buddy. (Extra shout out to Pat's ep 12 teal shirt and Pran's jumpers)

Tagging: @wkxs @talaypuens @wahgifs @snimeat @surajmukhis no pressure if you don't have time or energy! 🥰🥰

#tag game #icouldhyperfixatehim... shows up 7 months late with starbucks im so sorry 😬😂#its a miracle i made it through college bc i struggle so much with writing up stuff in any kind of timely manner #like i left college and almost immediately thought that i probably have adhd and was like ahhh makes sense why i struggled #anywaaaaay here you gooo :D :D

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amugoffandoms · 3 months

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Could you do a director's commentary on "Are You In There" from Whumptober?

Heyo, kyanako! I'd be down to! Lemme pull up the fic and I'll be pulling out passages that I remember small details from. So, here we go! Mug's Director Commentary!!

First of all, the title "You in There?" That's basically the Whumptober prompt as its name, but the exact phrase is not used that often in the fic because I didn't feel like Muu would use that exact phrase? At least, she says something else on her birthday, so I decided to just reword the question multiple times.

Ever since the Warden’s second interrogation, she was starting to feel on edge about everything. So, her sleep wasn’t the best. She can probably deal with it eventually, though. It’s not a big deal. She’s going to get forgiven again, anyway. They know it’s not Muu’s fault.

There's no specific time when this beginning scene occurs, but I have a feeling it's a few days after Muu's voting ends. I'd like to think all of the prisoners hear the Voices, so Muu is kind of just actively denying them because she can't be wrong.

”You have to eat, Haruka.” “Aah… I… I guess I do…” “…You have to come out of your room to eat.” “…!! Yes, yes… Um… I can’t do that.”

I wanted Haruka to still lean into what Muu wants because she shows him attention, but then suddenly realize he has to keep his promise first. His promise is the most important thing right now.

...also, it's kinda funny to see the quick switch back and forth.

Mikoto stands in the kitchen area, staring at something. Muu starts slowing down and looking away. Mikoto is a very nice guy, but ever since the end of trial one, he’s gotten a little scary…

I don't actually recall if Muu ever said this, but considering her reaction to Kotoko in trial 1, I kinda think she'd have a similar reaction to Mikoto in Trial 2.

As she turns away from Mikoto, he calls out to Muu one last time. “Hey, tell Haru I hope he’s alright. I’m glad he’s all confident now, but he seems upset now… Or something.” “I will.” ”Thanks.” When Muu makes it back to Haruka’s cell, she can barely hear Haruka inside. “…they forgave me. They forgave me.” “Haruka! I brought you some food.” Muu calls out. “…o-oh! Thank you, Muu.” Something inside Haruka’s cell moves around, probably Haruka before the door slowly opens to half of Haruka’s face. “Y-you can leave it there…” ”Can we talk in your cell today, then?” “Oh… um… I guess so.” Haruka fully opens his door and Muu finally can talk to someone who listens.

OOOH boy, here's a long one. breaking it down time we ball!!

I feel like, despite pulling away from the group a little out of fear of himself, Mikoto would still notice a few things, especially Haruka changing so much. Plus, I'm pretty sure he's noticed Haruka change even before Trial 2. He's noticed Haruka pulling away, too.

We never actually see Muu tell Haruka that Mikoto hopes he's alright, but I'd like to imagine during their conversation she does. (Not because I forgot that Mikoto had just done that. Definitely not.)

I enjoyed throwing Haruka murmuring that he was forgiven in because I thought it would be nice to include his thoughts on his verdict as well. He cares about Muu's, but he also cares about his because Es affirmed him, right? They said he was good and forgiven. So, why did they take it back? He was right, right? RIGHT??

oops sorry writer mug came in there (that may happen a lot, I like explaining my fics by accidentally writing more in character stuff), anyways.

Once again, going back to Haruka leaning into what Muu wants. He thinks that maybe it's not time just yet, that he has a little longer to think.

“You haven’t left your room in a few days, Haruka… It’s not healthy to be inside all day.”

This sentence implies she's been doing what she was doing in the previous scene every day now. Also kinda funny considering they're inside a prison, but she's telling him that's it's not healthy to be inside all day. I know what I meant inside his room, but STILL!!

Also, side note, i really enjoyed this next passage, so yeah :D!

Yuno sighs. “Fine, then. Even if Haruka clearly wants to be alone, do whatever you want.” “Muu is at least trying to be friends with Haruka. You stopped trying to be friends with anyone after the first trial verdicts were revealed! Can’t you be happy you were forgiven by the Warden?” “Forgiving everyone basically ruined the fun atmosphere here, so I’m upset. The Warden can do whatever they want, but what they’ve done has caused MILGRAM to be entirely bothersome. I don’t want to bother with any of it.” ”Upset? Bothersome? What are you even talking about? Does it even matter if MILGRAM is bothersome? You were forgiven, can’t you relax and enjoy it?”

Yuno's first line is kinda just a reference back to how she has opinions but doesn't act on them that often. She believes that Haruka should be left alone, but if Muu wants to do whatever, then so be it. It's all up to her.

Muu kinda makes a good point here where Yuno pulled away, but it's because of what happened after them. (Which is what Yuno mentions next.) (Also, "forgiving everyone" was an odd term to use here, I think it would've been better to say "Judging everyone," but "Forgiving" works considering how most people acted because they were voted FORGIVEN...

Muu wants to enjoy her... um, past forgiveness, I guess. It's because in that moment, it solidified the fact that she was right. That she was never in the wrong and it could never be her fault, right? So, she's finally able to relax. No one's out there actively trying to hurt her. (Actively look away from Muu's verdict please PLEAS)

“It does matter when people almost died because of MILGRAM! Why are you acting like what happened to Fuuta, Mahiru, and Mikoto never happened? Because it did!” ”What does that have to do with Muu? They deserved it after all.” Yuno stares at Muu. “What the fuck do you mean they deserved—”

OHH I needed this scene emotionally actually JAIODJOWIA I really wanted Muu and Yuno to fight, especially over this because they definitely have differing views on this. Yuno talks to Mahiru, who was severely impacted by Kotoko's attacks. She even mentions in her second voice drama that Kotoko is the type of person to make an assumption and not go beyond that.

On the other hand, Muu mentions that Kotoko's attacks were sorta deserved because Es did not forgive them.

so. woo D:!

”P-please stop f-fighting…!” Haruka squeaks out. Yuno and Muu quickly turn to Haruka standing in front of his cell door. “I-I know it’s my fault for not leaving m-my cell, so… it’s okay… Yuno, um… I’ll walk with Muu. I love walking with her.” “See! It was a good thing Muu didn’t leave Haruka alone!” Muu grins. Yuno stares blankly at the two before shaking her head and walking to her cell. “Oh, and, Muu… Just to let you know…” ”Eh, what does Yuno want?” “The Warden said the forgiveness was temporary.” With a chill going down Muu’s spine, Yuno enters her cell without another word. Glancing at Haruka, they both already realize they knew that.

Looking back at this, I sometimes have like a fifty-fifty opinion on Haruka's lines, but I think they kinda work. (I don't remember if he's ever broken up a fight as well, so this could be a first for him and he doesn't want to mess up. Not after everyone thought he was being so good.) He wants them to stop fighting about him. He appreciates the attention, but he doesn't want to be the source of someone else's torment again. He blames himself because that's all he's ever known.

Also, I really wanted to drop that "Forgiveness is temporary line" because 1) It's coming from Yuno, who believes she can't even be seen as something other than forgiven and 2) it's towards the two prisoners who lost their forgiveness. That line drills in the fact that they weren't forgiven again. And, it's terrifying.

"Haruka?” Muu knocks on the cell door. There is no response. “I brought you some food.” Muu holds the food up higher as if he would see it through the door. “Are you alive?” There is no response. She’s… starting to get scared now. "You haven't grown mold or anything?” Muu tries joking. There is no— Haruka’s cell door slowly opens with Haruka looking at the food and Muu. Haruka looks down. ”.....Oh, thank you very much. Muu, I'm sorry, that ..... I..” Muu shakes her head. ”Don't shut yourself up in that cell forever! You have to eat properly too, you know? I understand if you feel this way though, the recent atmosphere has been feeling bad lately.” "Um, I said it's okay..... I, thought of what I should do, a little.” Haruka mumbles.

You might recognize this! It's because it's Haruka's birthday timeline from a while back!! I really wanted to include it because this fic is very much based around Haruka pulling away to fulfill his promise and Muu checking in every time.

This is when anaphora my beloved comes in and I begin to repeat the phrase "There is no response." more often :D. You could actually see it in the last scene, too!!

“Thought about what you should do…?” Muu blinks before slowly nodding. “…oh, Muu remembers.” “…I’m glad.” He smiles. “…” Muu exhales. “I think that you should… do what you want to do, Haruka.” “E-eh… What does that mean…?” "I'm... worried, that's all." Haruka looks up at Muu, who, even if she still seems confident, has a bit of fear behind her confidence. “Muu, you… you don’t have to worry… I’m just thinking about what to do, for you, right…?” Haruka smiles. “Y…yeah. Okay. Yeah.” Muu exhales before giving him a small smile, which he returns. She hands over some food which he takes with a nod. “Muu hopes she sees Haruka next time she drops off the food.” “…yeah.” Haruka nods. Muu looks around before finally leaving. “What do I do, what do I do, to keep... My promise. For Muu’s sake....”

I believe this is the only time I write in Haruka's POV? I kinda wanted to have a small glimpse into Haruka's side, but not too much considering this is a Muu-POV fic!

Here's also where I branch off from the original timeline but go right back to it. I really wanted for them to have a conversation about Haruka's promise. Although Muu seemed pretty nonchalant about what Haruka's promise was in Queen B, she also believes that friends are people who let you do what you want because they listen to you. She cares for Haruka. If she didn't, she wouldn't have done everything she's done for him. She's worried, and she doesn't want him to go through with it because she can't lose another friend, another person who listened to her because who else would?

“Are you there? Are you alive?” She tries joking. It worked a couple of times before, but this time, no response. Muu swallows; her fear is slowly rising. “You have to come out… It’s… bad for you! And, you have to eat, too!” Muu knocks on the door a little longer this time. She places the dish on the ground as she knocks even more. No response. “Haruka! Please!” Muu screams at the door. “Muu— I miss talking to you. I miss talking to someone. The atmosphere has been feeling so bad lately and… I’m scared— Please. Just— Just come out this one time…! Or, write something to me and slip it under the door! Please!” No response.

Oh, here comes hell (and my friend anaphora!). Alright, so this is when Muu really shows how terrified of losing friends again. Last time that happened, she was left to deal with the bullying of everyone and she can't do that again.

She tries joking because that's what she believes will work first. Then, sorta telling him that he has to come out because it's not healthy because it worked last time.

Then, she loses it because she's terrified. She can't let this happen again.

She even stops using "Muu" (which, although I don't use it often when writing for Muu, it's an intentional switch). She just needs someone.

“Haruka!” Muu places her head against the door and begins banging the door with her hand. “…please, please…!” No response.

This is a reference to her After Pain scene where she's banging from the inside of the hourglass. She's begging. She's back to where she once was and she can't have that; she can't have that.

“I’m begging you. Please— Please just leave your cell! I’m scared. I’m scared. I don’t— I don’t want to lose you. You’re my friend, Haruka. Please don’t leave me—” Muu sobs. No response.

This is basically a repeat of what I said, but Muu is terrified of losing Haruka. She's gotten "better" in her eyes and she can't go back to when she was on the ground, getting kicked around and ignored again. She can't lose someone who listens and cares. She can't lose Haruka because he's her friend. She can't lose someone to something stupid like judgment again.

“Please… Haruka…” Muu begs. “I’m scared. I can’t… I don’t want to lose a friend again…” “…Are… you alive…?” No response.

She's terrified. She can't do this again. (It can't be her fault, right!? It was Rei's fault first. Is it hers? Is Haruka dying her fault? She didn't mean this. She didn't mean anything wrong. She was supposed to be FORGIVEN.)

She's in the same position as when she killed Rei, except it's worse because Haruka cared. He listened. He listened.

And, he's not listening, and he's not responding. Say something! Anything! Muu needs to know he's still alive.

“…you in there…?” Muu quietly asks the door. There is no response.

Muu needs Haruka to be alive, in there, because who else would be there for her?

Anyways.

I mentioned this in the ending notes, but I was intentionally vague with how it ended, so you can interpret what really happened to Haruka. Is it a dream? Is he sleeping in? Did he fulfill his promise?

As a fan standpoint, good God, he has to be sleeping in. As a writer, honestly, let's see where MILGRAM goes.

So, that's my director's commentary! Thank you for reading through this longgg post ahah. Sorry for the moments where I blended commentary with writing, it helps me explain sometimes ;;

If anyone else would like to give some commentary (whether long or short, a whole fic or selected passage), I'd love to do this again ^^!!

#mug's commentary #mug writes #mug talks #hoo boy that took a bit #sorry about that! i got distracted multiple times JIDOWAOJ #thank you so much for asking though!! i really enjoyed rereading this fic #i think this might be a fan favorite of mine?? I'm not really sure lol

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thecuriouseyes · 3 months

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2024 (To The Fools who Dream)

Today, I got up at 5am. I ran 10km. I got home, grabbed breakfast, and then I showered. Sit down in front of my PC and Code for 3 hours. Took a little break, and I continued with designing. Had lunch, and I prayed. Sit down and study Dutch. Now it's 4am. I've prayed again. Tonight, I'd like to clear my mind off a little bit before I do it all over again tomorrow.

Yeah, that's pretty much how I started 2024. Not too bad, I guess. I hated it in reality, but I cannot neglect it. It is a must for me to maintain discipline

My life is about to change.

So you're wondering where those gifs are from? Those are from a film called Tenet. It's quite a film, should I say. Not really my favorite film, but that bit up there? That's my favorite part.

No more New Year's resolutions for me. I'm done. Today (well, 3 days ago), I decided to restart my whole life. I wanted to write it on day 1, but the beginning is always the hardest. I'm trying to get the hang of it again, like I was back then, still full of hopes and dreams. So it feels foreign, and it turned out to be very challenging for me to maintain a desirable pace.

*Yeah, that's me. This morning, I decided to write down the numbers on my palm instead of putting them on my phone or PC. Those things distract me a lot. It's better for me to just look at my working hand. *

Actually, I said I'm restarting my whole life but, the routine I'm doing right now? It isn't new. I started doing it last year September. After many heartbreaks, I decided to stand up again. As always, the beginning is always the hardest

"So what's up with the whole life restart?" This is probably what you guys are asking. I'm not happy with my current performance. I feel too sloppy and stagnant. It changes so little, and it made me upset. I've been doing it for quite some time. I just wanted to push myself a lot more.

I started doing mental training, memorizing, and number crunching. I can't just work on my body; my mind needs to work as well. I think I get the hang of it. I can memorize a lot better now, and my mind can operate a lot better. I used to zone out a lot, but it's been a lot less lately. I think this is good. Which means I'm starting to live in the moment. No longer do I dwell on the future and the past. It's okay to think about the future once in a while, and it's also okay to reminisce about the past. Just don't overdo it. It'll make you restless.

I had a weird dream last night. I found myself staring at me when I was a lot younger. He was just looking at me, not saying a single word. One thing is crystal clear. He looks disappointed. I got up and noticed the call to morning prayers.

Heh... I must have been thinking about myself too much. My old self. Yeah, you, Jade, that young, daring teenager with much passion and determination in his eyes. You would have challenged the whole world bare-handed. Where did it go wrong? I miss you, and I miss me. So let me do it right this time. Let me just... make peace with you, and let's try and get our lives back together.

That's why I think that Tenet gif sorta fits what I'm feeling right now. I'm just imagining the two characters as me. Talking to myself. The old me is just that, an old distant memory. Once I'm out there, leaving this place. It's a new life a new beginning. For the old me, it is the end of a beautiful friendship. The current me, it's just the beginning.

I wanted to write this once I'm out of here. I thought that it would be more meaningful, but I do not know what the future holds, and I would rather just live in this moment. I want to write what I feel. There are so many things I wanted to write here, but I'll share them with you all some other time.

I started talking with someone. Now my life is in full motion. I do not know where "this" will go. I promised this someone a lot of things. So I'm going to try my best. This too; I'll tell you some other time.

One last message for myself.

I'm getting there again, kiddo, don't you worry. Just like the old times, I started swinging both my fists again. I will not lose this time. For now, I have to let you go. I'll see you in the beginning.

To all the fools who dreams. The world cannot stop us. The world will never take our hearts!

I do not know how to end this.. I guess I'll end it by saying..

Peace.

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