#i always feel exhausted after shit like this like

[sitp-recs]

hi! please feel free to delete this! but i read through your rec list (and found some amazing fics, ty!!) but i was wondering if you had any recs for fics where harry is helped by draco after the war? like he’s struggling with PTSD and being a public figure and going through it emotionally and draco takes care of him and helps him and they become closer for it and harry learns he doesn’t always have to be this Savior he can just be Harry with Draco! thank you in advance and sorry to bother you!

Not a bother at all, anon! I definitely have some recs for you. Some are set in the immediate post-war, some are set years later but they all explore Harry struggling with war/childhood trauma, fame, loneliness and the unbearable weight of having to find your way when no one else is telling you what to do anymore. Such a relatable feeling tbh. I hope you enjoy these!

Unseen by astolat (M, 11k)

When he wasn’t wearing it, he got jumpy, always waiting for someone to come at him wanting something—and now they did it even more urgently, if they ever saw him, because most of the time, nobody did.

Holly and Hawthorn, Thistle and Thyme by bryoneybrynn (T, 31k)

After the war, Harry can’t shake the feeling that something is very wrong with him and he has a terrible feeling he knows what that “something” might be. He has a terrible feeling Malfoy might know, too.

Expecto Patronum by @writcraft (E, 35k)

As Draco Malfoy negotiates his feelings for the wizarding world's brightest star, he becomes increasingly attached to Harry and unravels the secrets he keeps hidden from the rest of the world.

(Un)wanted by @aibidil (E, 36k)

Ginny's pregnant, then she's not and Harry's single. Harry, again with no family, doesn't know what to do with this turn of events, or how to find a new life—post-war, post-Ginny, post-abortion—in which he belongs. He doesn't expect that life to include dancing to the Backstreet Boys with Hermione and Draco Malfoy. A story of finding belonging in the unexpected.

He Who Must Not Be Normal by lettered (E, 41k)

Potter has fame and fortune and posh clothes and all he wants is a simple life. Draco has a flat and a cat and a steady job and all he wants is a complicated life. Which makes you think this story has something exciting like body-swapping, but it doesn’t.

Unseen by RenVeree (T, 47k)

Harry Potter finally has the chance to leave England and its expectations for The Chosen One behind for good. All he has to do is survive one Auror training conference overseas with Draco Sodding Malfoy.

Modern Love by @tackytigerfic (E, 61k)

Harry Potter, of all people, knows that life isn’t always fair. And no one gets to be happy all of the time. But surely there’s something more—something better—than a rubbish Ministry job, and a lonely old house, and that feeling that everyone out there is doing a better job of living than Harry is.

The Way Down by lettered (T, 65k)

Harry is overwhelmed by his own power and fame and angst, so he's become a hermit. Draco Malfoy is tired of the melodrama.

Harry Potter and the elusive day off by pleasebekidding (E, 71k)

Auror Potter needs a fucking break. He is wiped. He is exhausted. He probably didn't intend to put himself into a magical coma but these things happen. And who cares, really? He is comfortable in a house where he has hidden away all the shit he can't deal with.

I Am Not Who I Became by mab_di (E, 93k)

Draco left England after the trials and has travelled the world meeting wizards and Muggles from different cultures and with vastly different relationships to magic, each other, and the natural world. Now he's a fisherman in Finland on commercial vessels. Harry has been struggling since the war and has become a recluse while trying to write his autobiography.

Who we are in the shadows by @quicksilvermaid (E, 100k)

What happens when you’re forced to become the very thing you despise? Ex-Auror Harry Potter, tossed out of the Ministry for something he had no control over, has been looking for a way back to his former life. When he comes across Draco Malfoy in the criminal underbelly of Wizarding London and in need of protection, Harry figures bringing him in to face the Ministry's justice is his ticket back to everything he's lost.

A Sword Laid Aside by korlaena (E, 128k)

When Draco’s cover is blown during a deep undercover operation and the Ministry is compromised, Ron takes Draco to the only safe place he can think of—Potter. Hiding out with a taciturn Harry Potter, who has been missing from the Wizarding World for almost two decades after a shocking fall from grace, is nothing like Draco thought it would be

By the Grace by lettered (T, 140k)

Harry is an Auror instructor. Malfoy wants to be an Auror.

where all the veins meet by @saxamophone (E, 146k)

It's the summer of 1998. The battle is over, and Voldemort is dead, but Harry still has more questions than answers. Who is he without a piece of Voldemort's soul in his head? What is he supposed to do now?

#asks #anon #Drarry reclist #Draco helps Harry heal his trauma

[fellasleepinbaltimore]

I literally just don't fucking care about it anymore like GGHGYHYY I HATE DOING THINGS WHILE MY DADS AROUND I FEEL DO STUPID AROUND HIM like I just don't give a shit anymore about it like at all I don't like I'll figure it out tomorrow or something

#he literally spent 10 minutes trying to figure it out and like i knew what the issue was but i just cannot #i always feel exhausted after shit like this like #i just wanted #its so stupid actually so stupid and unimportant #im sitting here like just hoping 12 hours will spontaneous pass so i can figure my shit out

[thatonegayship]

I loved the cowboy comic so much that I wrote a oneshot for it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/50934235 🥺 your art is BEYOND amazing, ty for the food

INCREDIBLE!!!!!

#billdip #I honestly loved this story start to finish with the ambience and quick pace #hadn't considered the possibility of Bill and Dipper actually working *together* but it's always a good time when they do ❤️ #sorry it took so long to reblog 🥲 #I read it like- Right when you posted. But I had to catch a plane and then drive an extra hour home and immediately get on zoom for class #and today i was just all around exhausted so i slept roughly 70% of the entire day dndsjdndnd #all that to say that I had your fic in the back of my mind and I very much wanted to set some time aside and re-read it when I got the chan #honestly with how well you set things up I would've loved to see your own rendition of their first kiss #You established their relationship really well at the start and brought them together by the end after outsmsrtong those bandits #it feels like you have a better understanding of who they are to each other than even i do 😌 very much a fan #i love when stories incorporate those sort of 'habits' that the love interests fall into #that confuses character A while character B is so clearly using it as an excuse to get close and spend more time with them #i squealed like a maniac when Bill was like oooph lemme walk you home 😏🤠 #sir i am going to wrangle you up if you don't compose yourself #and Dipper's just wary of him because people as handsome as bill used to pick on him 😢 #little does he know he's grown into a 10/10 cutie patootie that any cowboy would be stupid NOT to smooch #I'm a simple man. I read oblivious low-confidence cowboy being pursued by a hottie on a horse. I lose my shit #Awesome wonderful writing!!! so happy to have caught your eye and i hope to continue pumping out content for this wonderfully weird ship

[sonego]

can i complain about my life again promise you all won't hate me

#(i know everyone already does most likely so i'll do it and just feel bad about it but) #it's not that i don't love my family and i'm not happy to go back home to have dinner w them and all but #god after like 3 hours i'm already exhausted #i feel bad about it but they're just SO exhausting and this house is SO suffocating #i did it i left i did it. why do i still feel trapped #quite literally can't even stomach watching football rn bc i just wanna sit in the dark under my blanket and fucking. idk. cry maybe #and it makes it all so much worse that it's so painfully obvious my mum is tired and probably sad and surely fed up w my father (and my #brother to a lesser extent) #every time i come home i just wanna say sorry. sorry i left you. sorry you're alone. you're not alone but you're alone against the world #and she dismisses my worrying bc ofc she does and i do the same with her worries we've played this dance all our lives #it's just. how do you let someone worry about you when you both know there's nothing you can do to make it better #when you both know the source of the misery and exhaustion is inescapable #god i wish it was. like. i wish this was a movie. where people actually help you in these situations. where there isn't that BIG big big #obstacle that feels wrong to even call an obstacle but it will always forever make it impossible to do anything about the problem #i wish the people who said they'd help gave even half a shit and actually did (it was their fucking job) #going from sad to angry to hopeless to exhausted every 4 seconds i'm so #the thing is i'm not gonna stop coming back home you know? i'm not i can't #i don't even want to #but i wish it wasn't so fucking soul crushing every time bc i don't wanna keep having tiring tiring weeks #and then go back home on weekends and feel the opposite of rested #ok. i should shut up. sorry. i really don't know why i'm even alive atm #delete later #i never remember to delete these (when i remember to tag them in the first place)

[dockaspbrak]

you know whats soooo fucked up, i never thought about how photos would someday be the only thing i had left? like I knew it about everything else but not him yakno. cherish your pets guys just cherish them every day

#ohhhh man like #i feel like i have nothing to live for tbqh #idk like...im measuring my life in before and after #and the after just seems like nothing #like it could have been yesterday yet it also feels like an eternity #so irrationally idk how im going to deal with it being a separate year (when 2024 comes) from the last time i got to talk with him #i feel like i need to do things to mark myself as living beyond him but i just have like. zero ambition to do anything #i just MISS him #i suppose i should journal more thats always helpful for dealing with shit #id rather type post tags though hahaha #i hate talking abt it out loud bc its double exhausting to like navigate people being so fucking awkward abt itlike #i know its weird im still so sad!!! i know youre sad too! its sad to lose a cat but also like i dont know if like maybe any one gets it #fully #at least for me

[seekingthestars]

me, yesterday: i got some projects done so i am finally starting to feel a little less overwhelmed at work!

work, today: gives me 5 new projects in the span of 8 hours

me: well nevermind 🫠🫠🫠🫠

#personal #my manager and my boss know and understand that we're slammed and have been slammed since january #and they're trying #but everyone thinks their shit is important so we keep getting request after request #i swore i was gonna take a day off in march bc i've been feeling so stressed and overwhelmed and burnt out #DIDN'T DO IT. TOO BUSY. #friday is a holiday and i've been holding out for that for two months #so i finally gave in and asked my manager if i could take monday off too #bc i thought i had stuff under control #aaaand then i get like 7 new things all due first week of april 🫠😭 #and my brother said we could go visit them on saturday so my parents are going and i looked at them last night and i said i wasn't #no room for debate just that i was not going to go drive 3+ hrs and sit around my brother's house all day #when i just saw them #bc i am so exhausted at my very core and i have been holding out for a peaceful 3 (now 4) day weekend for months #and i cannot #i just can't #i always bend and break to do what everyone else wants me to do or what i think they want me to do #and this time i just can't

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else

#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more #I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s #the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything #that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da #lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how #get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to #and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not #be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much #of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so. #literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in #bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it #into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it #but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted #any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself #not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha #usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day #because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere #I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s #just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway #this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this #bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school #vent tw #yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely #disability #chronically ill #i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho #i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to #anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse #I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours #I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework

[coloursofaparadox]

im still not over the sleep thing one sec i gotta rant about this shit

#i think the problem now is that historically my sleep habits have been Really Messed Up by what can loosely be called insomnia my whole life #its always kinda just been a given that if im in bed and i cant sleep there is absolutely nothing that can be done to help #and thats not for lack of trying i have tried every meditation and suggested solution possible. it does not happen. #if i cant fall asleep and try to force myself w/o distractions i will be awake staring at the ceiling for hours. usually till the morning #thats not an exaggeration it happened often before i gave up on it. so i figured out coping methods! #namely 1) making sure my body is taken care of as well as possible to make sure its not caused by pain or hunger or anxiety #and 2) not trying to force it and accepting itll happen when it happens. and then reading a book or watching a show on a dim screen #until i physically cant keep my eyes open and then i can fall asleep. if i try any earlier than that no dice. my brain wakes itself up again #these worked for years! but now thanks to adhd meds that actually make my brain quiet. uh. these same coping methods are. not working #im physically tired and start my usual routine and wait to pass out while reading but i just. dont. ever. #like. the physically tired feeling has never made a difference in my body cooperating with sleep. but now apparently it will???? #and ive been ignoring it??? bc im used to it not working? i tried just. closing my eyes and trying to lay still yesterday and it WORKED #after like. 10 minutes or so. it was fucking crazy. i thought media and pop culture was lying about people doing that. #anyways. apparently i can fall asleep like a human and not some kind of weird chronically exhausted cryptid now. #(because of new adhd meds to be clear) but i havent been because i didnt even think to TRY it. since. yknow. cryptid status. #shits weird.

[supercantaloupe]

a word of unsolicited advice....don't do two masters programs and two jobs all at the same time, bad idea

#at least not if you don't live with family or a partner that helps support you a lot with domestic affairs #this shit would be so much more manageable if i still lived at home. or even in a dorm on campus #and didn't have to worry about bills and groceries and cooking and cleaning everything all by myself every day... #i'm not really failing at anything at the moment. but i do really feel like i'm struggling to keep up with it all #and that i should be doing a better job. or at least that things should be easier. that i shouldn't feel so lost #or have to ask so many questions still #or feel so bad when there's food in the cupboard but i'm so exhausted and poorly planned my energy and time etc #that i end up ordering delivery once or twice a week just to keep myself fee after rehearsals. idk man #this would be so much easier if my dad still did the laundry and my mom always made me dinner... #i miss not being in charge of everything myself. it's a whole lot. it's more than i bargained for #but the only people i'm really comfortable enough with asking for that level of help and care from live two states away.....sigh #well. gotta write a paper tomorrow. and go to work at 6pm. and try to dig further in on assigned hw readings. wish me luck ig #i wanna talk about me

[izzy-b-hands]

Trying to make my brain do anything today has just been case after case of 'well, half-assed is better than nothing I guess.'

#text post #idk why i have such bad post-survey mental dips every time but I always do #literally last night before end of my shift was like okay brain. it's ok that we aren't working after this. this is fine. #there's another survey in two weeks (for ONCE they told us in advance) and in the in between other things I can do to keep making some mone #and I felt really confident abt that at that point! wish that confidence hadn't been so misplaced bc I did in fact spiral #was actually exhausted enough to just eat shower and sleep after work but the shower was just a big spiral w/crying and scrubbing lmao #whatever. did a mini vid in the new outfit i have for the side job and will do dishes tonight #plus I'll get my shot done bc that's a day late now too #prolific and cloud i got a bit done too and i'll keep checking those thru the night #i actually wanna play gta for a bit & try it with the controller but i feel guilty every time i so much as look at steam so. we'll see #i just need to do something else useful today bc tomorrow will be a full filming day most likely so. gotta make today useful too #I know it must sound like im not really trying to work with my brain on this but i shit u not #this is my brain when im actively employing coping skills and other things to try and counteract the 'work or die' mindset #i dont know how to make it any better and at this point I don't think I can #this was baked into me as a kid lmao bc even playing needed to have a point/story/some goal to achieve #or why the fuck was i playing with my barbies or metal toy cars or dinosaur and horse figurines to begin with #im rambling to put off doing the dishes ignore me lmao

[yuridovewing]

Disclaimer: I personally have not finished TBC beyond the first book. I did finish AVOS and its back half is considered poor quality for a reason. If you aren't having fun now I can tell you right now you wouldnt enjoy the rest. At most I think (iirc) the last book is important bc it establishes Juniperclaw attacking SkyClan, and Shadowsight getting a vision to swim in the flooded lake to 'unite' the clans- both of which are relevant to TBC in some way. But even then you could probably skim to the rrlevant parts, IDK.

i'll be real when i made that post last night it was kind of out of sarcasm and pettiness, like i do think im still gonna read those last three books and skim the boring parts at the very least, but that's on me cause now when i look at the post it does come across as very whiny and serious so that's on me lmao. (and i was kinda whiny at the moment cause i always forget about how mean spirited these books are.)

buuuuut hearing what people are saying, it does make me feel a bit better for skimming the back half of avos cause i think thats what i'm gonna have to do for sanity's sake if i want to catch up. i do want to give quotes and takes that are really backed up by the books and not secondhand info so i will try to keep to it but i think if i'm gonna read about thunderclan being shitty to twigpaw then im gonna start skimming cause like, we all know they were shitty to twigpaw now, it was uncomfortable when she was a kid and its uncomfortable still now that she's an adult. you don't need to see that backed up once again.

#i really cant emphasize enough that while i like the petty melodrama i can get out of these books #some of it is really just... exhausting. especially under the new team cause i got the WORST impression of them #ill pay close attention to scenes like briarlight's death and how they regard it and see if twigpaw's treatment improves #but like the main thing abt these books that doesnt hold up is that theyre just... kinda miserable #no one learns anything and any attempt at deconstructing the clans' violence is thrown out with ''but they meant well!'' #newsflash! intent doesnt always matter! actions speak louder than words! #and its especially difficult in avos cause while i dont like alderheart. no one here is treated well #i mean i think alder is treated better by the narrative compared to spark but hes gotta deal with his (lbr) emotionally abusive mentor #and the narrative twisting itself backwards to make him a victim and no one agrees with him. and i like underdog protags #but it feels so contrived and mean here. the journey cats all turning on him and demeaning him and twigpaw is so weird #it feels forced and unnecessary. woven for some drawn out conflict so he can be a victim and ooooo doesnt his sister suuuuck #and thats not even touching on the actual shit twig and violet go through. which while its kinda better its still a slog #cause at the end of the day they look directly at the camera and go ''remember! thunderclan did nothing wrong!'' #theyll only admit shadowclan is wrong which is ok cause theyre the evil and pathetic clan we're supposed to hate i guess #and the ultimate conclusion is not that the clans were disgusting for treating children that way. #its that they were mistaken all along cause they were CLANBORN children all along! and now we gotta prove skyclan is a valid clan #cause if thats not a valid clan then theyre not valid cats! #and isnt that just. so much worse of a conclusion? that even after darktail was born out of the clans dismissing and mistreating outsiders #theyre not even entertaining the idea that the way they treat cats like him violet and twig isnt okay? #nope! they actually kinda call attention to it in book 3 when darktail says he and violet are alike #and its supposed to be him being wrong and manipulative and gross rather than anything meaningful #avos liveread #mail #idk. sometimes i do regret deciding to catch up cause avos is just a miserable experience so far

[chaotictomtom]

trying to check out to see if i'll ever manage to get top surgery this year and. let's just say i thought the delay would be bigger but. the price is still always such a big ass problem i kinda wanna bash my head against a wall but. anyway

#living with 600/month and having no idea if i'll ever get a job after this semi-work that ends in march but. oh well!!! #already tried to calculate if i could ever save any money from the little time i get to work there but!!! only make me wanna cry #im afraid this will be another year w/o top surgery 😀 dying in the summer and wishing to rip my skin off. w/o the hope i'll at least #get a date some day. cos at this rate i have absolutely no hope ngl. #the whole organisation to get to one of the potential surgeon 2h away is already making me want to explode #i have absolutely no idea how i'll ever be able to pull this off. ever. i don't even know if we'll be able to stay in this flat by the end #of our contracts. so. yeah #i can't see past 4 months away how can i think i'll ever be able to start this thing going. trying to but i stay silly ing the situation but #!!!!! im so desperate i feel so drained and exhausted. the mere idea of summer makes me wanna kms i'm dreading going through it another year #smh. #absolutely no one gives a shit i shouldn't vent in da tags for the 1 day of the yea #but im suddenly hit with an enormous wave of despair that i know won't go away cos it's always on my mind #and seeing the facts once again that i'll prob never be able to afford it is not helpiiiinh #yes i live in france no not everything is paid by healthcare cos it's still considered as non vital </3333 #dental/ear/teeth problems started to get fully refundable (on specific little things) only a few years ago #so we're like decades of getting top surgery refunded 100% im afraid</3 #i shouldn't complain but then again what's the use of cool healthcare if we can't ever have access to a doctor. of any kind. #smh smh smh #rent over I'm sick of myself i'll shut up sorry

[somaligovernment]

Ha ha it’s okay! Everything isn’t awful don’t even worry abt it 🥹

#not to be wah wah I’m an oppressed man but I had the most stressful day week month and even tho I’ve been threapy do coping techniques look #after my health and well-being maintain a support system it’s like? no one care and expects me to never have a single messy emotion ever #always provide and do things for others and the second the shit turns sour for me it’s why aren’t you fixing it why are you being emotional #like not a second of weakness is allowed it’s exhausting how much can I cbt and breath and therapy why it gets too much and excercise and #eat responsibly when even for personal problems I have to manage others’ emotions and expectations not just before my own but instead of #allowing myself to feel anything no wellness exercise no routines no nothing

[stillfruit]

it's so difficult to articulate the feelings i get when i see my friends engaging in healthy and good behaviors like asking for emotional support and taking the time they need to arrive because i just can't and i know i'm wrong for it but it still feels incredibly isolating

#i ofc never show this externally because i know how to act like a person i know to show empathy etc etc #and when i say i'm wrong i mean that i recognize that it's my problem how i feel and it's caused by my own issues and #it's not something i would ever put on somebody else because as i said it's not their fault i'm too repressed to do anything #but still it feels so strange to see other people having many relationships and doing so many things and still being like :( i'm so lonely #or outwarldy saying they really want to talk and that they need support with something #or always being late #i support all of that!!!! but i also know i can't do that and when we discuss relationships i know i always relate to the bad people #in the story who are not open and who do things wrong and are not considerate enough and so on #there are these common expressions such as loneliness that have vastly different meanings for people and that difference not being expresse #externally really ever makes me feel insane because it makes me feel like other people apply their understandings to my experience #anyway this was inspired by me not having friends to do sports with and also feeling like an ed relapse could be on the way #but it's not like i can do anything to either of those things because first i would never force people to exercise if they don't want to #and my friends don't enjoy the same things as i do or at least not in the ways that i do and it would be difficult for me to ask them #and second it's not like anyone even knows anything and even if they knew what could they do. nothing #the kind of “aww remember to eat” thing just doesn't fuckign work for me i need to stab myself with something #two years of uni left two thesis to do but after that idk what's keeping me here there are things that i like and people i care about #but on the long run i'm just sad and will get more alone and lonely as time passes and people find their places in each others' lives #in between these episodes it's fine i like my space i like to do things alone it's exhausting to be with people all the time but yeah #shit talking

[rosicheeks]

I hope you had fun at the party…or at least survived it.

Thank youuuu

#I did survive it!!!!! #I’m so proud of myself #honestly I feel like the part after a party is the shit I don’t like #like I always go into my head and I’m like ‘why did you say that????????’ or ‘you should have said that’ #and kinda gets negative but don’t wanna go there #I miss the parties where I would get so shit faced I would have to crash at that place #and then I’d wake up and it would be super weird but I would find my way home #and all would be fine #but this party wasn’t like that #I mean I think someone crashed upstairs #but like I said I didn’t reallyyyyyy know that many people and even if I knew them they were more like work friends #and maybe not even friends #like I knew the person who was hosting but I don’t think I’ve ever talked to her before tonight #my friend was there and I just stuck by his side the entire night #honestly if he didn’t go i wouldn’t have gone #but but but buuuut #WE DID get to see a fire show and that was really fucking cool #the host knew someone who does fire breathing and all that and she put on a show for us #ok now I’m blabbing #it’s 3:20am and I’m exhausted from socializing for so long #now I just need to ignore my stupid dumb negative thoughts and I’ll be greatttt #ask