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#i am one year older today
marblemoovt · 1 year
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Lace - Simon Riley/Reader
Masterlist
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 2.6k
Warnings: Fluff with some reverse hurt/comfort. The reader's gender is not explicitly mentioned or referred to, but you do wear a dress and makeup in this.
Summary:
Going undercover at a Gala, you need some help lacing up the back of your dress. Luckily Ghost is around to help you.
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You turn around and show him your back. “Can you lace up my dress, please?”
“I think it looks better this way.” He nuzzles behind your earlobe, inhaling your scent. Goosebumps litter your skin, and you grip the table to ease the shiver that runs through your body. Ghost hums appreciatively, grabbing your waist and rubbing circles into your lower back. “In fact, I think you should take it off.”
Note:
This was almost complete and sitting in my drafts forever. So as a little birthday present to myself, I powered through and finished this fic. I could have worked on this more, but I'm happy with where it is. This entire idea started with a gif I saw on Instagram, which I can no longer find cause I didn't save it :(
Happy Reading! ヾ(•ω•`)o
─── ⋆ 。゚☆: *. ☽ .* :☆゚。⋆ ───
You smooth the gown of your dress, admiring yourself in the mirror. The fabric hugs your waist and flares out at your calves, with a slit up to your thighs on one side for more freedom. Turning around, you frown at the reflection of your back. You didn’t think that part through when you bought the dress. It looked so pretty at the time that it never occurred to you how you would close up the back by yourself. 
The dress needs to be laced up and tied. While you could struggle and try to manipulate the ribbon on your own, you know the result will be far from passing to fit in with the crowd at the gala. Laswell needs intel—intel kept in a mansion opened to the public only once a year. Price deemed you had the best chance at infiltrating the event; you didn’t get much say. At least you get to keep the dress after this, which is why you bought one of the most expensive dresses from the store. 
Heaving a sigh, you walk to the door and peek into the hallway. Ghost is leaning against the wall next to the doorway, skeletal gloves swiping across his phone. You bought him a new pair with thermal tips when you noticed him tugging off his gloves with a grumble every time he reached for his phone. Brown eyes shift from the screen to your face. Maybe it’s because of the flickering fluorescent lights, but his pupils almost tremble when they land on you. He doesn’t say a word, only pockets his phone and pushes himself off the wall stiffly. 
“I need help,” you say. His mask shifts, and he tilts his head. Stepping back from the door, you wait. Ghost walks in, his broad shoulders brushing against the doorframe. He pauses after one step, not quite in the room, but not outside either. A statue stuck in limbo. You wave a hand in front of his face, keeping the other on your chest to prevent the dress from falling. “Fucks sake, Simon. I’m half dressed—close the fucking door!” you hiss. He jolts and slams the door behind him. The walls rattle, and the lights flicker. God, you hope Price didn’t notice anything upstairs. When you don’t hear the pounding of footsteps from above, you breathe a sigh of relief.
Ghost continues his silence, but you can feel his eyes rake over you. You shiver under his gaze. “Y’look nice,” he mumbles.
You blink, not registering a single word. “I beg your pardon? I didn’t catch that.” Ghost walks closer, slow and steady steps that send a flutter in your chest. His hands grip your waist and pull you to him. Shivers run through your body when his gloved fingers trace your spine.
“You look ravishing,” he whispers, lightly massaging your exposed back. You bite your lip to suppress a groan, but he hears the quiet noise coming from the back of your throat and chuckles. “How’d I get so lucky?” You can tell from his tone that the question isn’t directed at you.
“I have to be in position in 30 minutes,” you remind him. His hands pause, and he pulls back. Beneath the stoic exterior, Simon is admiring you, burning your image into memory. You’ve noticed that he likes to watch, to silently absorb the world around him and all its minute details. The man makes planning surprises a living hell. There’s a silent promise in his eyes to continue this later.
Ghost clears his throat. “Right. What’d you need me for?” he asks, voice still husky.
You turn around and show him your back. “Can you lace up my dress, please?”
“I think it looks better this way.” He nuzzles behind your earlobe, inhaling your scent. Goosebumps litter your skin, and you grip the table to ease the shiver that runs through your body. Ghost hums appreciatively, grabbing your waist and rubbing circles into your lower back. “In fact, I think you should take it off.”
A throaty chuckle escapes your lips, and you lean into his touch. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” You can see his reflection in the vanity mirror. The darkness in his eyes threatens to drown you in liquid pools of obsidian. His gaze is intense, but his touch remains featherlight. Constantly aware of his size. Sometimes you wonder how he would react if you told him you want to be torn apart. Would his self-control finally unravel? You suppose you’ll find out tonight. 
“30 minutes is plenty. I can give you at least 5 orgasms in that timeframe,” and he sounds almost boastful. You decide to knock him down a few pegs. Bastard’s cheeky enough as is. Personally, you think his banter with Soap has inflated his ego. You’re surprised his head fit through the door when he came in earlier. 
“Only 5?” you tsk and shake your head. “You’re losing your touch,” you tease.
Ghost chuffs, sliding his hands down and kneading your thighs. “Didn’t seem like that last night. Had ya beggin’ me to stop,” and his fingers brush dangerously close to your crotch.
Breathing in a shuddery gasp, you grab his hands and squeeze them in a warning. “I need you to redirect the blood flow back to your other head. Mission first,” you insist. His eyes glint in the mirror.
“Didn’t stop us last time.”
“Last time didn’t involve the risk of being flayed alive by Laswell. We can’t fuck this up, Ghost. It’s our only chance.” Months of planning have led up to this moment. This evidence is the last piece of the puzzle needed. Then there will be one less group terrorizing the world. Who knows what will happen in a year—if there even will be another event next time. Laswell has intel that the higher-ups are going through a reformation, and it’ll be too late afterwards. No. This is the one shot your team has at finding those files. You take a deep breath and grip the edge of the table. Your fingernails dig into the old wood, engraving crescent moons onto the surface. “Alright, I’m ready to have my organs rearranged.”
“Thought that was my job.”
“Jesus Christ, Simon!”
He snickers, the corners of his eyes crinkling at the edges. You fight the grin on your face and hand him the ribbon. He gets to work. His deft fingers lace the back of your dress, tightening as he goes. “Let me know if it’s too tight,” he says, nearly finished. You clench your teeth when it feels like a hydraulic press is squeezing your insides. Ghost hears you wheeze and immediately loosens the ribbon. “Sorry,” he mumbles.
“It’s not a real corset. Just has to be tight enough so it doesn’t slip,” you say, and he loosens the rest of the back until your organs aren’t one compact ball.
Ghost pauses. You’re not sure why. All he has to do now is tie a knot, and then you’ll be on your merry way to the party. Soap and Gaz are already posing as servers. Lucky bastards get access to the fancy food before you do. You don’t doubt that some expensive bottles will go missing by the end of tonight. You make a mental reminder to pilfer some of their bounties when everyone returns to base.
“Don’t….” It’s barely a whisper. You look back at Ghost, cocking an eyebrow.
“Did you say something?” you ask.
Ghost, gripping one end of the ribbon in each hand, tugs you into his chest. The air is knocked out of your lungs—more out of surprise than force. The warmth from his body seeps into your exposed skin, stoking the flames that are steadily building. You would have to be a goddamn liar if you said the maneuver didn’t turn you on in the slightest. “Careful,” he mumbles into the nape of your neck, arms wrapped protectively around your waist. His mask is cold, and it sends a shiver down your spine. 
“Are you worried, Riley?” you tease. The arms around you tighten, and your gaze softens. “I always am,” you say, reaching behind to pat his head. Ghost huffs, but he leans into your body. You like to call him your personal weighted blanket.
You don’t need to ask what’s bothering him. You don’t typically go on the field for missions. Your position keeps you out of immediate harm, a blessing that Ghost would never admit. He must feel anxious. And while you trust Gaz and Soap with your life, the thought does little to quell his fears. Ghost can’t save or stop you from doing something stupid where his scope can’t follow. 
“Come back to me, please,” he whispers. You stare at him in amazement. It’s rare to see him beg. Normally he nags you instead.
“I will. I won’t leave you—not unless I die.” A wry grin cracks your face, but he’s not amused. 
Ghost’s signature glare burns into your face. “I’ll kill you if you die on me,” he grunts.
“That’s not how death works,” you say. Despite the ridiculous notion, it’s sweet in its own way.
His expression remains the same. “I’m a ghost, Poppet. I’ll find your spirit and kill you again.”
You tsk, “And here I thought you were going to say something romantic about bringing me back from the dead; I expected too much from you.” When his posture remains rigid, you sigh. “I’ll be fine, Simon,” you say, leaning into his chest. You hear the click of his jaw when he clenches his teeth.
Ghost remains silent for a few moments, lost in a memory from another life. He sighs, the words coming out scratchy, “You don’t know that—no one does.”
You lay a hand over his and give it a gentle squeeze. His fingers dig into your skin, desperate to keep you encircled in his arms where he knows you’re safe. “Well, I know an excellent sniper has my back,” you say.
“Rest of the team would feel left out.” You can’t see the grin on his face, but you can see his reflection squint and hear the lilt in his tone. He’s so cute, puffing up after a little bit of praise.
You snort, “Gaz and Soap are probably guzzling hors d’oeuvres without me as we speak, so fuck them. Mom and Dad always have our backs, so that’s a given.”
A low rumble tickles your back. “I dare ya to call Laswell and Price that to their faces,” Ghost says. 
You bark out a laugh. “Do I look suicidal to you?”
Ghost shrugs, “Must be if you’re with me.” Your smile quickly flips into a frown. 
“Uh uh. What did I say about self-deprecation?” You sigh and turn around when he doesn’t answer. Hopping onto the table, you sit and cross your legs. Ghost doesn’t meet your gaze. He stares at the mirror behind you. “Simon, you’re not as bad as you think you are,” you whisper, slowly reaching out a hand. When nothing happens, you gently grab his chin and tilt his face to you. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
His pupils swallow his irises. A faint halo of brown that struggles to contain pools of ink. “I think I love you.”
Your lips slant into a crooked smile. “I would hope so, considering we’ve been together for a while.”
He sighs. “Would it kill ya to just say it back?”
“I love you too,” and you go limp like a ragdoll, groaning for added effect.
“Fuckin’ idiot,” Ghost scoffs. 
Your lifeless body snaps to life. “The hypocrisy! If I have to put up with your Dad jokes, I’m allowed to have my bits.” Ever since you groaned at the first joke, the number of puns on the radio channel has doubled—quadrupled if Ghost manages to wrangle Soap in on it. His posture is more relaxed now. “Better?” you ask.
“Mhmm.”
You place your right hand over your heart and hold the left one up. “I promise to neuter any man that tries anything with me.” The knife sheathed in your thigh strap will be your best friend tonight. 
Ghost crosses his arms, and you know he’s smirking underneath the mask. “Present company excluded, of course?”
“….”
“…Darling.”
“My knives aren’t picky; let’s leave it at that, yeah?” 
Ghost’s hands travel down your hips, squeezing them firmly. “Misbehaving already?” he purrs. 
You pat his cheek and trail your finger along his jaw. “I like riling you up, same as how you like putting me in my place.” 
He pulls you off the table, pressing his growing erection flush against your stomach. “What a pair we make,” he says, his smooth voice caressing your ears.
“Would now be a terrible time to remind you that I must leave in 15 minutes?” you whisper.
Simon doesn’t speak, only tugs his mask off before initiating a heated kiss that sends your head spinning. Minutes pass, and the table thumps against the wall when he pins you against it. Simon is insatiable, devouring you until you’re a gasping mess. His hands prevent you from melting into a puddle on the floor, keeping you upright when your legs lose the ability to stand.
He pulls away with a smug grin, thumb tracing your puffy lips. The bottom half of Simon’s face and his neck are covered in a smattering of red lipstick stains. You’ll need to touch up your makeup before you head out. His eyes flicker to the mirror, and he chuckles, admiring the marks you left behind.
“C’mon, love. You’ve got intel to steal, men to castrate,” he says. 
“Don’t forget a buffet to eat,” you add, patting your stomach. You haven’t eaten the entire day besides a light snack in anticipation of this mission. Who says you can’t enjoy yourself at a party thrown by a terrorist?
Simon shakes his head and chuckles. “I fear for whichever poor sod gets between you and the buffet table.” He gazes at you lovingly. His eyes always remain the same. Warm and filled with adoration. “And Poppet?”
“Yeah?”
Simon pauses and plants a kiss on your forehead. “Give ‘em hell,” he says, grinning widely. 
“Yes, sir,” you say with a salute, turning to strut out of the room. 
Simon leans against the table and adjusts his pants. Fuck, you look delicious from behind. Ghost will have to make sure not to pull the trigger tonight on anybody who shows an interest in you. But Simon? Simon is going to rail you into your bed later and leave some marks of his own. He admires the lipstick stains in the mirror once more. A pleasant reminder that there’s someone still alive who loves him unconditionally. His phone buzzes in his pocket, and he assumes it’s a message to get onto the rooftop.
‘Stop shaking the walls, you animals.’ Simon can sense the annoyance in Price’s words. It isn’t until a stream of emojis appears that he realizes this was sent in the group chat. Gaz and Soap are already giving him shit, sending kissy faces and eggplants. His fingers tighten around his phone, the device creaking from the pressure. The screen updates, and he can see in the bottom corner that you’ve read the messages but haven’t said anything. He smirks and heads to the rooftop, putting his mask back on.
Simon gets to watch a free show tonight through the scope. He can’t wait to see how you’ll terrorize the ‘waiters.’ The spam in the group chat continues, messages zooming through his phone screen. He sets the device down next to him, setting up the rifle and locating you with the scope. Your dress makes it easy for him to find you, and you are power-walking straight to the buffet table, where a pair of waiters are discreetly sneaking food from. His phone screen stops flashing, and a chuckle rumbles through his chest. 
Those two are so fucked.
─── ⋆ 。゚☆: *. ☽ .* :☆゚。⋆ ───
End Note:
This was going to be spicy, but then I decided not to. So the ending is left open for everyone's interpretation.
I don't know if anyone will see this, but I'm planning to stream on my birthday, so check out my Twitch if you can! I'm hoping to reach the 50 followers goal for affiliate status.
I'll see you guys at my next hyperfixation! (。・∀・)ノ
Reblogs are appreciated!
Taglist: @lovecats123451
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mishihao · 6 months
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it's womb eviction anniversary.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 4 months
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...
#i was looking through old photos today. they where from wjen i was like 1 and it made me so sad#bc my mum would have been like only a year or 2 older then i am now and she looked so young#and now she has an abdomen full of tumors and blistered hands and feet. theyre prob gonna hsve to remove her bladder#but shes still very pragmatic abt it. but she grew up in a house where no one really cared about her feelings so she made them small#and now her mother calls and doesn't ask how her grandkids are doing and doesn't ask how her daughter is doing. im cursed with terrible#grandparents on both sides but i resent my mothers mother worse. though my dad said i probably wouldnt have survived his upbringing#and hes right. my nana has like zero empathy and cant cook for shit. idk how my parents r so normal but the fact i had a good upbringing is#probably the only reason im still here. and thats the other thing that made me sad abt the old pics. just looking at this little baby with a#fucked up head and thinking: in 25 years that kid is gonna b so broken down their not gonns kno what to do or how to fix it. idk whats wrong#with me. ive always been some stage of miserable but i used to b able to get things done. and now i cant seem to force functionality#and it sucks. bc im home now and i still feel like im cringing around this open wound in my chest. but whatever#as of today ive started taking ab1lify. hopefully it helps in the long term but in the short term it triggers my 0cd. which is not fun#its so frustrating. whatever. i also found out my eyes used to not work together. not enough to have a lazy eye but it was hard for me to#read and apparently my eyes were tracking at like double the speed of a normal person. wtf is wrong with my brain? also also my mum was like#yea i never would have guessed bip0lar but we thought it was something. autism i could see 100% but yea didnt see that coming. ao i guess#i brehave like a bit of an oddball. ans my nana would bother my dad to try to make me participate in church and my dad was like no. she#clearly don't wanna b here lol. ay. they did the best they could which i appreciate#unrelated
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atsu-i · 4 months
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.
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merevide · 8 months
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being forced to think about my future WHEN I DON’T WANT TO
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hella1975 · 2 years
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that™️ coworker: have I complimented you today?
me knowing he has twice already: no
him: well we can’t have that, you look lovely :)
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pepprs · 1 year
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ok actually yeah. i really need to do dishes and go to bed and not stay up late mentalillnessposting a little too viscerally on tumblr the night before i facilitate a workshop in front of the literal president of the university and the vp of my division (LOL about that btw. actively shitting my pants.) but oh my GOD. so saying goodbye to lia was actually fine in the moment. neither of us cried and we talked about all the ways we’ll still be in each others lives and reasons we’ll have to interact in the near future. and she gave me an extremely heartfelt thoughtful gift and we left on a very hopeful note and i felt better and content bc there’s still the rest-of-life and we’ll see each other there. but like an hour before that as i mentioned i was HYSTERICALLY sobbing. in full view of people i know AND people i don’t. and i just sat there and sobbed while everything carried on around me. everything carried on around me!!! and i feel like im about to sob again thinking about it.
#purrs#delete later#idk. i typed a bunch here and then deleted it and now idk what to say. i just feel so lonely. i have had fucked up relationships with every#single older adult in my life and never had someone who could a) stay in my life b) be consistently present in my life c) meet my emotional#needs d) actually See me and accept me for who i am. Like not one person who can be all four of those things. and i have to be all four of t#those things for myself now because im 24 and i missed my chance. but how fucking shitty and painful is that? especially after a year like t#this. the way it’s literally ending the SAME way last year did. huge scary promotion (which i haven’t even talked about on here or to anyone#but lia today actually. but it might be huger and scarier than i thought. which is good but also HUGE -‘d scary. and not a bad thing of bc o#course but it’s so fucking… perilous? like it makes me feel profoundly imperiled because i have extremely good reason to feel that way. and#i have to endure the mortifying ordeal of applying for my own job AGAIN after the first time was so horrible. lol) and also losing a beloved#mentor figure who understood me in a way no one else did which mattered immensely even if they couldn’t do the whole presence thing or#whatever. and now i only have one older adult in my life left (aside from my therapist who doesn’t really count bc i only see her once a#week and we barely know each other still) who is like. here and helping me and i KNOW i am so sick in the head i KNOW and i should not be#writing it but every single day i am fucking terrified that i am being or will be separated from him emotionally or physically jsut like all#the others so. LOL!!!!! i am normal and well adjusted. but it’s like so fucking painful because im grasping at straws but again the reality#is im 24 and the only people on this earth who it is fair for me to expect all 4 from and who should’ve provided it to me are my parents.#and i missed my chance with them forever and now i have to do it myself. and that’s ok sometimes and i can handle it… except in the moments#where im sobbing hysterically and everything carries on. when i am in my darkest moments i want to run to an older adult and have them#comfort me but i truly cannot do that with any of the ones i still have left / regularly interact with for so many reasons. and it’s so#painful it makes me sick sometimes. and now i have to be the romy and the lia i wish to see in this world. but how can i do that when i#haven’t finished grieving over them leaving which feels like leaving ME — NOW — in this moment when i have never needed more support of that#kind more. how can isummon it within myself. im not ready yet. i need a long hug and a hand to hold that won’t (have to) let go. when im#crying i need someone to take me somewhere and comfort me and calm me down. and im 24 so i can’t ask for it. but oh my god i need it. and i#missed my chance. and lia left today and she only ever did that for me metaphorically but… tonight i feel more alone than ever.#and it’s like i don’t even have the emotional intelligence or whatever to ASK for that. bc im playing by ear and i don’t know how to read#the music of it. im self taught. that fucking sucks. that SUCKSSS. also that’s too strong a way to put it liek obviously my friends who are#closer to my age are INTEGRAL to me being able to function and i learn from them and cherish their support. but just like i can’t be a mom#to me my friends can’t either. so it’s like what the fuck do i do. get steamrolled by relentless grief and rage every day i guess.#also side note. everything carried on when i was in brighton too. i came home early ofc but it’s like nothing changed in my absence. and#that has fucked me up SUPREMELY. i think that might be a root of it. like hm… it seems my presence doesn’t have impacts. but idk
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heartbreakfeelsogood · 5 months
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time goes by fast but also so slow. i also want it to move both fast and slow. life is a strange thing
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milo-is-rambling · 10 months
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Me when I remember I’m 19 and not 18 and the entire last year and a half has felt like a dream
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musical-chick-13 · 5 months
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Always funny to me when people say, "Why was the Doctor ever interested in River in any way when she's Not A Good Person," as if a) their oldest and closest friend in the universe isn't The Master, someone very much not known for being a particularly good person, and b) there wasn't literally a line that went, "And unlike me, [River] really doesn't mind shooting people. I shouldn't like that; kind of do a bit."
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The Ghost
I haunt these halls Silent as a mouse Can you see me? Tip toe past But it doesn't matter I could run And no one would see Scream so loud I think my lungs will break Why does no one hear? Crying, sobbing Notice me! No one does.
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starlitcrows · 9 months
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mrrr
mrrrrrp
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makerscockandballs · 1 year
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this should not be so exhausting. i should not have to act every reaction to gifts and interaction i should not have to be constantly on guard and super fun or risk a fight. family should not be this exhausting.
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perilegs · 11 months
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i think i'm the perfect family gathering babysitter bc i LOVE hearing people just go off about whatever topic and children LOVE doing that
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#hhhh my body is tired. i couldnt sleep and then my day was upside down and i spent 4hrs transfering algae#i still have 1 work day until i go home. which is to say i will do 2 days of computer work and 1 day of manual labor in the field before i#go home. bc i have to get these fucking manuscripts done#but i guess it was an ok day. it wasnt yesterday where i left the lab by 12 for fear of bursting into tears. sometimes i just cant stand to#work sitting down. its really annoying#but i did have to say goodbye to our visiting phd student today bc she goes back to spain in the new year#which is sad bc shes really cool but she liked to do snail mail so im excited to be pen pals with her#bc ive never done the snail mail thing. shes like 5 to 10 years older than me? like old enough to have fully formed memories of the 90s#hhhh i still have to order Christmas presents. i just. i wish i could stop the present exchange. no body buy me anything so i dont have to#buy u anything. im so tired.#and i still have to make Christmas presents for my parents and sisters. with what time?#ill have to burn away my vacation time for that. hhhh i shoulf just sleep now#but i wont. ill pack bc i might as well while im being unproductive and i wont make time for it later so ya kno#i just wanna be home not doing anything but also i have many things to do and lots of things to prepare before i can do school visits#assuming i get more than one. and oh fuck thats right i still have that last application. tomorrow morning thsts what ill do. god dammit#the 4 hrs of algae transfering was my break and me being unfocused now#just 3 more days and 2 full day of traveling then i can whine at my parents abt how sad i am lol nah ill do that thing where u go#haha yea im in a lot of pain lmao so no one fully takes u seriously even tho ur saying something fucked up#that my mo bc i cant take my pain seriously. part of my brain detaches itself and thinks its all v funny#bleh. brain is goo#unrelated
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florenceisfalling · 2 years
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okay bye guys see u. idk. sometime soon? soon
#this year has been one of the worst of my life and i really want to get better but i feel like my whole world is kinda crumbling around me#lol hashtag relatable ig#im trying really hard to do the things i need to#but i literally feel like im being torn apart at the seems mentally#but im trying. really hard. to get things done before i have to move back to university#i only have a few weeks#i got sick these last few days which is both a blessing and a curse#a blessing because i dont have to go to work#a curse because im not making money and also im sick lol#really hoping my job just never contacts me again. i dont want to try to even go back even tho im pretty much not sick anymore.#and its 4 am now so... that means today was supposed to be my last day anyway. bleh#and i am gonna be another year older in 8 days... fuck. i dont want any of this. i want time to stop for a while.#i just feel like melting into my mattress and really truly i feel like ive already killed myself. i dont feel alive. i dont feel like#theres anything valuable coming out of this. i barely even feel like a person#but at least the upside of that is i probably wont consider walking into traffic again lol#and yknow i thought a lot of my sadness was circumstantial#which is true. i have some really tough things going on in my life right now so a lot of my sadness came from that. but now that ive been#sort of dunked in the feeling... it doesnt matter now. when i have a happy day or a happy moment it only lasts as long as the high and then#its over and im over and im back to being dead and i dont remember the good feelings anymore. i know i had a great day the other day.#i remember the moments. i remember smiling. but i dont remember how it felt. even though it wasnt even a week ago.#its like eating cold soup and trying to imagine it warm fksjdlf#sorry for ranting. i have a sideblog for all that for a reason i just. damn. spewwwwwwww
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