#needs d) actually See me and accept me for who i am. Like not one person who can be all four of those things. and i have to be all four of t | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

h4m1lt0ns · 2 months

Text

HEARTBREAK SYNDROME.

episode thirteen :: RIBBONS & TEA.

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ pairing ︴various drivers x y/n

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ genre ︴social media au / irl snippets

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ summary ﹔the groupchat returns, and while lewis is feeling a bit funny, y/n casually gives everyone a heart attack and calls it a surprise.

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ face claim ﹔ wonyoung jang (28)

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ warnings ﹕ excessive cussing, none.

lewishamilton

♡ liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc and 9,149,394 more.

lewishamilton 📍🇬🇧

tagged: y/n, tommyhilfiger.

3,294,204 comments.

username goodnight.

username since fuckin when???

username had to double check if this actually lewis’ account

username no roscoe in sight, oh he’s serious serious 😧

username watch ur back sir hamilton v3rstabben is *allegedly* loosing his mind 🫢

username now why are you 🫵 a man 🤨 posting MY wife

username imagine being in a situationship w y/n y/l/n 😩

username ur so fucking lucky mercedes boy.

[liked by lewishamilton]

username i SCREECHED when i opened insta what the fuck.

username babe js propose to her atp.

username I KNOW the dilf gc is in SHAMBLES rn.

username oh u brave BRAVE 😧

username 49392919283 meters away from MY girl sir lewis

→ lewishamilton can you even count that far?

→ username oh ur bullying ur fans now?

→ lewishamilton idk am i?

→ username “i”. enough said.

→ username no bc why is he typing in all lowercase 🤠

→ username y/n’s influence is crazy

username but when EYE say they’re dating.

username fernando alonso is typing…

username oh you’re so father for this 😩

landonorris ..d-dad?

→ lewishamilton ..son?

→ landonorris what are we.

→ lewishamilton you have been promoted, you are now one of my elite employees 😁

→ landonorris thanks dad 🫶🏻

→ username LEWIS WHAT THE FUCK.

→ username LANDO OPEN UR FAT MOUTH U BITCH

→ landonorris ﹫lewishamilton cult lh are bullying me

→ lewishamilton okay let’s leave my son out of this.

→ username YOUR WHO?

→ lewishamilton that’s enough internet for next month

username WHAT IS COMMENT SECTION.

username IM SOOOOOOOO.

username im assuming we too have to accept lewis as our dad if lando is doing it 🙄

username ARE WE GONNA IGNORE LANDO’S COMMENT????

→ username ﹫y/n SAY SOMETHING.

y/l/nestate

♡ liked by lewishamilton, charles_leclerc and 13,593,204 more.

y/l/nestate behind the scenes 🍾🎀 fun things coming very soon ⭐️🩷

4,395,394 comments.

username she’s SO fucking beautiful what in the FUCK

username wowowowowowowowow

username one chance PLEASE

lewishamilton pretty

→ y/n heyyyy

→ username 3 Y’S. GIRL STAND UP

→ username i genuinely think we lost her.

→ username enD MY SUFFERING I CANT 💔💔💔

username FACE CARDDDDD 💳💳💳💳💳

username PLS SAY THE ALBUM IS COMING.

username me if you care

username SHES SO 🎀⭐️🩷🫧

username BOUNCING OF THE WALLLLLLSSSSS

username if she drops an album out of nowhere i will bang my head against the wall 🩷🩷🩷🩷

username mercedes doll 😍

→ username LEWIS I KNOW ITS YOU MF.

→ username log out of this acc lewis 🔥

→ username you too need to stand up 🫵😧

→ username let him stay down it’s Y/N Y/L/N

→ username point made 🤷🏽‍♀️

username bratz doll irl 🧎🏽‍♀️

username 😍😍😍

☆ IMESSAGE with ; BOARD OF DIRECTORS.

honey badger: avengers assemble.

honey banger: i have easily the most important tea to spill today.

y/n: “hear yee! hear yee!” ahh text

girlfriend kika: LMFAO

babygirl alex: hear yee 😭😭😭

honey badger: it’s about max

girlfriend kika: i ain’t laughing no more 🗿

chal eclair: what does he want

chili!: no bc after the shit his team pulled i don’t think i wanna hear from anyone abt him

angel carmen: wait is it important

honey badger: it’s abt the billboards incident

princess george: oh.

my baby lando: oH?

yukino: 🔪?

honey badger: might be necessary this time

alabono: he is personally involved isn’t he 😐

honey badger: yep.

my baby lando: wait oscar needs to see this

MY BABY LANDO added PAPAYA BABY #2

papaya baby #2: i love it here already

wifey lily: oh i’m so sat

honey badger: i was ‘hanging out’ with max before the suzuka race to make it seem like we’re chill. i wasn’t there to hang w him i had a mission.

my baby lando: okay okay

chal eclair: 🤨

honey badger: i managed to get ahold of his phone then i waited until he left his drivers room

honey badger: then i switched my phone case with his to make it look like i was on my phone while i was going through his

y/n

y/n: i would like to apologise, visa cash app driver, i, indeed was NOT familiar.

girlfriend kika: LET BRO COOK 🔥🔥🔥

chili!: oH HE IS COOKING ALRIGHT

honey badger: so i go through his messages and find a deleted group chat. a group chat with the employees that red bull fired.

chal eclair: OH HELL NOOOOO 😭😭😭

honey badger: he INSTRUCTED them to burn the billboards. specifically the ones with y/n on them.

princess george: i know he thought this was IT

alabono: bro thinks he’s him

papaya baby #2: who let bro cook

honey badger: not only that

y/n: THERES MORE?????

angel carmen: hELLO?

honey badger: he made sure to tell horner to cover for him

PIERRE GASLYYYY: no fucking wonder the fia’s investigation was wrapped up SO quickly

yukino: and their corny ass apology said it all

yukino: “team principal christian horner apologises” since fucking when

babygirl alex: ^^^^^^ REALLLL

y/n: setting up a zoom call rn we need to brainstorm

y/n: im also adding lew, seb and nando because they’ve been PlISSSSEEEDDD

chal eclair: “lew” and “nando” and i’m still waiting on my cute nickname

y/n: be grateful i love you and your fuck ass pasta 🙄

papaya baby #2: i love it SO much here

chili!: don’t get too comfortable oscar

y/n: i’m not gon tell you to leave that baby alone one more time 🗣️

papaya baby #2: thanks mum 🫶🏻

y/n and y/l/nestate

♡ liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz55 and 44,294,293 more.

y/n and y/l/nestate surprise lol 🎀 champagne, sex & anxiety 7/10 🥂 considering the amount of people i worked with on this album, it’s truly a fucking miracle that i managed to shut the fuck up abt it and not say anything so here u go i guess 💗🩰⭐️ no more sad songs LETSFUCKINGO !!!! i personally call this one my mona lisa and i BEG u to love it as much as i do when it comes out 🍾🤍🏹 also no twitter jumpscare this time ur welcome lmaooo :)! love u to death 🧸🫂💘

9,204,394 comments.

theweeknd my excitement exceeds the english language.

username CAN YOU BE NORMALS ABT ALBUM DROP JS FOR ONCE (1) ☝🏽 PLS.

username WAHTS FOIBG ON ????????

username WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKK Y/N

username wHY THE FUCKCKCKCKC IS SHE STILL ALLOWED TO DO THIS SKSKSKSKSKS 😭😭😭😭😭

username “no twitter jumpscare” AN INSTAGRAM JUMPSCARE ISNT ANY BETTER Y/N

lewishamilton honoured. proud of you doll 💗

→ y/n proud of u ml 🩷⭐️

→ username “ml” GIRL.

→ username OMFG ﹫mercedesamgf1 YOUR EMPLOYEES ARE FLIRTING TAKE THEM TO HR ITS ILLEGAL

→ username HR 😭😭😭

→ username GET THIS MALEEEE AWAY FROM MY WIFE 💔💔

username ITS MIDNIGHT MATE DID YOU LOSE IT

landonorris WHAT.

carlossainz55 WHAT THE HELL

danielricciardo IS THIS HOW I FIND OUT

username ARE WE ALL CONFUSED RIGHT NOW

charles_leclerc UHM YES??????

username YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

y/l/nrecords love when y/n drops music out of nowhere 🔥

→ username LMAOOOO

→ username REALLLLLL

username i’m so genuinely shocked i’ve been sitting here in silence for the past ten minutes

→ username you’re a stronger person that me i screamed so loud my neighbour broke my door bc he thought i was being murdered

→ username DAWWWGGGGGG IM WEAK 😭

username WHY IS LEWIS TAGGED ON ME & YOU

→ username SOMEJENE ANSER MER

username THESE SONG NAMES ARE GIVINGGGGG

pierregasly what in the ratatouille bullshit.

francisca.cgomes WHAT THE HELL 🔥 🔥

lilymhe YESSSSSSS

alexalbon ??????!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!!!?!!

mercedesamgf1 i literally cant wait 🤩

username yesss gaga

oscarpiastri we’ve all been on this call for four hours and we don’t even get a heads up ??

→ username CALL??

→ username “WE’VE ALL” ?????

→ username FOUR HOURS HELLO SIR.

username what in the literal fuck is going on.

username ,&/&;&2929(92&:’fwlsoqlfjje MA’AM.

username STOP THID MADDNEDS LDLE

username Y/N PLEASE

scuderiaferrari ?????????

username i can’t do it. i js can’t do it man.

username BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL

username WHY WIULD U ANNOUNCE IT LIKE THAT

username Y/N ISTG.

☆ IMESSAGE with : Unknown Number

xxx-xxx: hey

xxx-xxx: can we talk?

#☆ — ¡h4m1lt0ns!˚⁎⁺˳ .#f1 x y/n #f1 fanfiction #f1 smau #f1 x reader #f1 x you #lewis hamilton x reader #carlos sainz x reader #charles leclerc x reader #lando norris x reader #daniel ricciardo x reader #george russell x reader #yuki tsunoda x reader #pierre gasly x trader #oscar piastri x reader

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dragon-watcher03 · 7 months

Text

Mk1 x Milf! Reader

3/3

Intro dialogues

Ft: Scorpion (Kuai Liang), Sub-Zero (Bi-han), Smoke (Tomas Vrbara), Reptile (Syzoth), Johnny Cage.

D/n= Daughters name

Note: you have a 15 year old daughter. You are not human, you are of a species that can reproduce asexually. There will also be some dialogue with the daughter as well. (so the daughter is basically a clone of you physically so just imagine her looking like how you did when you were 15-) And I'm making the daughter have my personality so if you don't like it, too bad.

Scorpion: Your species' ability to reproduce is quite fascinating... Y/n: Are you upset I have no need for a mate, Kuai?

Scorpion: Are you sure you aren't looking for a husband? Y/n: I'm sure I can make an exception for you, little flame.

Scorpion: You truly are a Goddess, dearest. Y/n: Oh stop, you're making me blush!

Y/n: D/n seems to be warming up to you, little flame. (pun intended-) Scorpion: I hope she is, I truly wish to bond with her.

Y/n: I appreciate you trying to bond with D/n, Kuai. Scorpion: I don't only do it for you, but for her as well.

Y/n: Are you going to propose anytime soon or must I do it? Scorpion: I... I will get to that, my dearest.

Sub-Zero: I will prove that I am a worthy husband for you, lovely. Y/n: Oh? Then you better make it worthwhile.

Sub-Zero: A woman such as yourself deserves a strong and honorable man to love. Y/n: Might you be that man, little wolf?

Sub-Zero: D/n has been teasing a lot recently... Y/n: That's just how she treats the people she likes, Bi-han.

Y/n: I see you've been spending more time with D/n. Any particular reason why? Sub-Zero: If I'm going to marry you one day, I need to earn your daughter's trust and acceptance first.

Y/n: Behind that cold exterior is a man I deem worthy of love. Sub-Zero: Only if that love is from you and D/n... (platonically ofc-)

Y/n: It was you who killed him, wasn't it? Sub-Zero: That bastard deserved it for thinking he could have you...

Smoke: You don't mind if me and D/n head to Madam Bo's, do you? Y/n: sigh Just make sure she doesn't start any fights, okay?

Smoke: The fact you don't even need a male to reproduce is just... awesome. Y/n: Yes, although we can reproduce the fun way as well...

Smoke: You looked stunning in that dress last night, Dove. Y/n: Why thank you, angel.

Y/n: D/n seems to really like you, Tomas. Smoke: Really? Oh, thank God! I was worried she didn't!

Y/n: giggles You're so cute when you're nervous, angel. Smoke: groans Please dove, don't tease me like that...

Y/n: No words can express how much I care for you, Tomas. Smoke: I...wow, I'm really a lucky guy, aren't I?

Reptile: So you're telling me you're a virgin with a daughter? Man, I hit the jackpot. Y/n: You truly have no filter, Syzoth. But I like that in a man so you get a pass.

Reptile: Goddamn... Y/n: Something caught your eye, sweetheart?

Reptile: You have too many admirers... Y/n: But my heart only belongs to you, sweetheart.

Y/n: The idea of a mate is rather intriguing... Reptile: chuckles Is that your way of telling me you want me?

Y/n: You and D/n are a dangerous duo... Reptile: What can I say? Like father, like future daughter.

Y/n: Your bond with D/n is truly like a father and daughter. Reptile: Just as it should be, my mate.

Johnny: Woah, you're a total milf if I've ever seen one! Y/n: A... what?

Johnny: C'mon sweetcheeks, we'd make the perfect couple! Y/n: Sorry love, but you need D/n's approval as well.

Johnny: The grey hairs, the eyes, the body, you are literally the work of Gods. Y/n: Well, you surely know how to make a woman feel good.

Y/n: D/n is making awful puns now because of you! Johnny: Awful? Those things are a work of art!

Y/n: Well hello there handsome. Johnny: Now that, that is something I won't get used to. But I'm not complaining.

Y/n: Wow, you actually got D/n to like you. Johnny: Yep, now I got a hot milf girlfriend and an awesome daughter.

D/n: So you wanna marry my mom? I don't blame you. Scorpion: Who wouldn't want to marry a woman like her.

D/n: Tell me, do you prefer Dad or Pa? Scorpion: I... I haven't even asked Y/n to marry me yet.

Scorpion: Let's see how well Y/n trained you. D/n: Maybe one day, you could teach me a thing or two.

D/n: in an Australian accent Ello there Frosty! Sub-Zero: For the love of God, please stop doing that!

D/n: You wanna go chill at Madam Bo's after this? Sub-Zero: sigh Yeah sure...

Sub-Zero: I told you to dispose of the body quickly, now she knows we killed him! D/n: Alright, calm down Dad.

D/n: So what did she say? Smoke: She said we can go, but no fights!

D/n: Say...Do my puns annoy you? Smoke: What? No! Who told you they were annoying?!

Smoke: I think Y/n is starting to catch on... D/n: Don't worry, I'll make sure she doesn't find out about the proposal!

D/n: Dude, I just found out I can also shape-shift. Reptile: Oh, the power we both hold right now.

D/n: Wouldn't it be cool if we swapped places for a day as a prank? Reptile: Oh. My. Gosh. That's the most brilliant idea I've ever heard.

Reptile: I'm not offended that you called me Dad earlier, D/n. D/n: I know... But it was in front of everyone though!

D/n: She said my puns are horrible!?! Johnny: I know! The nerve of that woman!

D/n: I don't know John... Me? In a movie? I'm just a kid... Johnny: C'mon! You'll have the crowd's heart in seconds!

Johnny: Hah, now I have two people calling me- D/n: Finish that sentence and your "Dad card" is revoked.

#mk1 #mortal kombat #mk1 x reader #sub zero x reader #scorpion x reader #smoke x reader #reptile x reader #johnny x reader #kuai liang #bi han #tomas vrbada #johnny cage

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thehusbandoden · 8 months

Text

You Flinch During an Argument -Shinso Hitoshi

A/n: meow <3

Oh wait I think this is actually my first finished thing for Shinso. Am I doing him right?? Idk T^T

General info:

Genre: angst to fluff/comfort // Wc: 1,594 // second person

Warnings!: arguing, accidentally breaking a promise, flinching, and a little bit of crying.

Horror ate away at Shinso's conscience as he looked down at you in shock.

You, his beloved y/n who stuck with him through these difficult seven months of a new relationship. His one and only supporter, his first love, his best friend, and his partner.

He had promised you that he would never use his quirk on you unless it was related to training.

He promised, and he belived it too. He knew that he would never take control of your goregous mind.

And so why? Why did he let himself be so weak. So.. so out of control?

It was all a blur. He hadn't even realized that he activated his quirk that he despised so much. One second you were shouting at one another, and the next you were completely still, eyes holding no sign of their usual spark. That spark that was always present, the spark that he grew to adore.

He continued to yell though, not yet noticing that you weren't yourself.

"Why can't you tell that I did nothing! She grabbed my arm and I ignored her! I walked away without sparing her a glance- y/n she means nothing! You're the only one that I could ever possibly be interested in! So why are you being so stubborn!? Just- just stop!"

At his command you simply dropped the arms that were folded against your chest, going completely still.

That was when he realized that you weren't in your right mind- that it seemed like you were being controlled.

The realization broke his heart as he deactivated his quirk, causing your eyes to suddenly pop back to life.

Your face was contorted in confusion for a few moments before you slowly looked up at him in shock.

"Y-y/n I-I can explain." Shinso's voice was wobbly as he looked down at you, eyes wide in unbelieve, voice full of emotion. You've never seen him this shaken before, and to be honest it scared you. What.. happened?

"D-did you just control me? Hitoshi you better answer truthfully."

"I-I did but- please it was an accident- I- I swear-"

"Hitoshi.. you promised me you wouldn't. What happened?" You asked, tears in your eyes as your hands started to shake.

"I-I know baby I know but please it was an accident- I- I noticed when you stopped when I told you to-"

"How long did you control me Hitoshi?"

"Less then a minute- please y/n I didn't mean to!"

"But yet you still did. I- I can't look at you right now. I.. need some time."

"Y-y-y/n.." Shinso whispered, tears pooling at the edge of his eyes.

"Y/n... y/n please- I- I-"

"I-I'm just going to go.. I'll.. see you some other time."

"Y/n wait!"

"What is it.. Shinso?"

"I-I am so, so sorry. I'll understand if you're going to- to leave me."

"No, Sh- Hitoshi. I'm not going to leave you. I Just need some time to sort this out, okay? I'll text you when I get to my dorm, but other than that please don't contact me."

"O-okay.. I-I love you.."

"I- I love you too.."

Three weeks later and you were still dreading talking to Shinso. You've texted him every few days to let him know that you were doing okay and you simply needed more time. He was understanding each time, and that calmed you down quite a bit.

You knew that you wouldn't be able to leave him. You've loved the boy for years. You fell in love with himin elementary school, admiring his quick wit and braveness fending off bully after bully. You admired him, you really did.

The two of you quickly became friends, and your love for him grew each day. You eventually worked up the courage to confess in your first grade of high school. He seemed hesitant, but he accepted your brunch date. After three dates in quick session he was the one to ask for the two of you to advance, which you accepted.

Less than a month in he confessed his love and you reciprocated his feelings. Five more months into your relationship and everything seemed so perfect. That is until girls started flocking him.

It made sense, he had recently gotten into the hero course and had outstanding looks. You would've been fine with it- but he didn't seem to mind.. at all. He wouldn't tell them to back off, or even tell them he was taken. He simply.. ignored them. It made you uncomfortable and you tried to reasonable about it, but he just wouldn't listen.

After a month of this back and forth you refused to be brushed off again and it ended up being both your first argument as a couple, and will probably be the worst one in at least a year or so.

You believed him when he said that he didn't mean to activate his quirk, but it still hurt. And you couldn't shake it off. You knew that you would forgive him, and this endless silence was breaking him, but you just needed more time. But you also knew that you couldn't wait much later or Shinso would be broken for at least a few months. And so, you scheduled a meet up. In three days, you texted Shinso to meet you in your favorite park to talk. He willingly agreed, and now you simply have to collect your thoughts.

~~Three days later~~

You took a deep breath as you looked yourself over in the mirror.

You were dressed casually, plain blue jeans, a white t-shirt, and a black leather jacket.

Looking over yourself worriedly, you smiled as you remember you complaining about this exact outfit to Shinso and how he told you that you looked nice. He hugged you from behind, gazing into your eyes lovingly before complimenting everything he loved about your outfit, accompanying each sentence with a kiss to your head, temple, forehead, cheeks, and then your nose.

He gazed into your eyes, taking your hand before telling you that you were gorgeous, and that he could never dream of anyone more perfect than you.

Smiling sadly, you hurry to grab your phone and wallet before heading out of your dorm, greeting your classmates as they smiled and waved at you.

Stepping outside, you hurry to the park, wanting to get there before Shinso does. Humming, you smiled at your favorite play list you were listening to, deciding that some of your favorite music would help calm your nerves and help you think clearer.

A few minutes later you arrived at the park, smirking as you realized Shinso wasn't there yet.

Ever since you discovered the park in the beginning of your highschool year the two of you started a tradition, if you could call it that. You never discussed it, but you had always rushed to see who could get to the park first, and Shinso usually won. He hardly cared about how he looked and didn't mind losing out on sleep to see you pout so cutely.

It was actually quite endearing, though you would never admit it out loud.

Sitting on your favorite bench under a large Oak tree, you pull out your phone to text Shinso, gently teasing him for being second this time. As you were about to hit send, you jumped as you felt a cold hand embrace your cheek. Looking at the hand, you scoffed as you saw Shinso holding your cheek gently, smiling teasingly at you.

"Got you.. again." Shinso murmured, causing you to blow a strand of hair out of your face huffingly.

"Yeah yeah, whatever." You pout, causing the boy in front of you to chuckle.

"So.. you're ready to talk?" Shinso prompted, sitting across from you, now nervous and unsure.

"Yeah... Listen Hitoshi, I know you didn't mean to, and I know that you feel really bad about it."

"I do, I really, really do."

"And I know for a fact that I am not gonna leave you for something so silly. I love you, Toshi and I want to hear the apology you've been dying to tell me and forgive you."

"Y/n, my Love, I am so, so sorry. I cannot forgive myself for losing control of my quirk like that, and I promise that I will do everything in my power to never lose control again. I also want to apologize for overlooking your feelings. In my head it was enough to ignore them, but now I realize that that was selfish and wrong, and I want to talk to you, calmly about it, and find a conclusion."

"I forgive you, Toshi. And I'm sorry too. I'd really like it if we could find some middle ground.. but first, we should get some lunch and go on a date, we've harldy seen each other in three weeks after all. Oh, and I love you I really, really do."

"And I love you so much more y/n, so much that it hurts." Shinso murmured, leaning towards you after every word, finishing it off with kissing your lips sweetly.

"I don't think that's possible." You breathe, causing Shinso to chuckle.

"Oh trust me, it is." He finished, pecking your lips once more before standing up, taking your hand to take you out on the best date possible.

Because there is nothing Shinso loved more than you, and he'd continue to prove it until the day he died.

Reblogs help spread and support my work therefore they help me immensely but any support is appreciated <33

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Tips <3

~~~~~

Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way -minus reblogging.

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prismatic-bell · 1 year

Text

So @hejeksbs saw that post about fandom olds freaking out about IWTV stuff being posted on the AO3, and said they’re new to fandom and fandom culture and don’t understand. So congrats, Hejek, you’re one of today’s lucky 10,000. This is going to be a basic primer, but I encourage others to chime in with details. (Also, thanks for reminding me I need an Interview exhibit in the museum. I had that written down somewhere.)

So if you go back to the 1990s and early 2000s—the pre-AO3 digital years—you’re going to see an official disclaimer on just about every fic. These basically said “I don’t own anything here, please don’t sue me.” Some were quoted elaborate.

These started because of Anne Rice.

See, Anne Rice was, how can I say this nicely…an asshole? The day she died there were literally people posting crab rave and “Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead” from The Wizard of Oz on Tumblr. Because before Harry Potter fanfiction was pretty frowned upon and you might get a C&D if you didn’t keep your head down properly, but Anne Rice.

ANNE RICE.

Anne Rice literally recruited her “loyal fans” to harass people who made fanworks. At least one person was doxxed to her workplace by rabid Ricers, and at the time fanfiction was taboo enough you could absolutely get fired for that. I was eleven and friends with someone who was 13 who’d just read Interview and drew this wonky I-am-a-kid-who-can’t-really-draw-yet-but-I-loved-this-SO-MUCH piece of fanart of Louis and Lestat, and she literally dipped off the internet because she got an extremely nasty “I’m suing you” threat from Rice. (Are you out there, Mercury000? It’s me, sailorsharon0722.)

Anne Rice did everything in her power to ensure there was no IWTV fandom at all. I’ve heard from people older than me that she used to host a “vampire’s ball” every year in New Orleans for her “loyal fans” but if you showed up and she felt your costume outshone her own, she’d make you leave. People didn’t dare so much as put “Lestat” and “fanfiction” in the same sentence.

And then, irony of ironies, when her reputation got so bad she was struggling to sell books, she…became a Christian and started writing Bible fanfiction to sell.

Yeah.

Over the years there were claims she’d changed her mind about fanfiction, but nobody ever had evidence to back this up. I even saw a dude on Quora claiming to be a close friend of hers saying we were all lying, and he got absolutely ratioed by fans going “I still have my C&D letter, you wanna fucking try again?”

Incidentally, I would like to point out that her attitude wasn’t uniform. It’s easy to say “that’s just how it was,” but Neil Gaiman has been around since the 1980s and has always appreciated fanfiction. Stephen King’s approach is “please tell me, to my face, that me explicitly writing about Cthulhu isn’t fanfiction” and otherwise pretty lassez-faire (he has no interest in knowing you’re writing fanfiction of his stuff, he just genuinely doesn’t care), and his first book was published in the early 1970s. Gene Roddenberry, creator of Star Trek, actually accepted submissions of fanfiction scripts DURING THE SHOW’S ORIGINAL RUN, at least according to popular lore. (@dduane, can you check me on this?) Mercedes Lackey—who’s 1980s-and-1990s fantasy royalty—has been asked on Quora about why she “changed her mind about fanfiction” and her response was “I never changed my mind, I just had to talk my publisher into accepting it. I’ve always been okay with it but I had to say no because of my contract.” Sure, Diana Galbaldon was out there comparing fanfiction to rape(????), but even among those who disapproved of fanfiction, Rice’s attitude and actions were extreme. And they persisted into the 2000s, too, with her egging on fans who harassed and sent death threats to a YouTube reviewer who didn’t like one of her books.

AO3 changed ALL of that.

AO3 said “here is our well-researched legal claim that fanfiction is legal, and if someone gives you shit about works you have posted on our website, our lawyers will represent you. You can post safely here. It’s okay. We got your back.”

Even so, the fear about Anne Rice continued. And can you blame people? This woman’s name held the same power in fannish conversations as “Voldemort.” (A moniker by which I’ve actually heard her called.) She all but destroyed the old guard, on purpose.

….and then a new generation of fans happened. A new generation that didn’t remember life before AO3, had never known anyone who literally had to move house to get away from Rice’s minions’ threats and harassment. I know we use “nature is healing” as a joke on this website, but really truly, that’s what happened here. She left charred tree trunks and bushes that were old-school fans and from their ashes tiny little 2010s-fans seedlings began to grow.

The thousand-odd fics you saw in those screenshots (which I feel I should clarify are from before the new show came out—a show that must have her turning in her grave, because she was absolutely adamant that all her vampires were STRAIGHT and if you thought otherwise you were DISGUSTING, and I hope she spins so hard her corpse combusts) are absolutely shocking to us older fans because it’s like staggering out of a nuclear wasteland and spotting a little garden with signs saying “free nuclear-illness medical services” and realizing it’s real. What the fuck, what the fuck, but also, holy shit y’all we’re so proud of you. YES. Keep going. Don’t let the witch get you down.

EDIT: I’ve been informed by someone in the notes that IT ACTUALLY GETS WORSE:

I’m not going to transcribe the whole thing because I’m on mobile and most of it is just bog-standard post notes, but what’s relevant is @theoriginalvelocipastor saying “OP forgot the part where she [Anne Rice] would take ideas from fanfiction.”

Like holy motherFUCKER this woman’s hypocrisy.

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restinslices · 4 months

Note

Hi I’m the anon who asked about the popstar one! (Loved what you did btw) If it wasn’t too much of a problem I love if you could do the Lin Kuei boys + Syzoth too!

Me finally getting to my requests?! Who would’ve thought. Everyone got around 300 words besides Syzoth, who got 400. Why? No further questions.

Bi-Han

You can change him? Well I can accept him as he is! You don’t like the murders? Grow up! The atrocities are a part of him and I’ve decided they’re funny :D

I know the Lin Kuei are a part of Earthrealm but are they allowed to have technology?

For the sake of this, imma say technology is very very limited

With that being said, what do you mean you're a pop star? It's not that he doesn't know what it is, he just doesn't get why. All the things you could be doing and popstar is where you landed

I don't wanna make it seem like everyone is supportive but him but this is Bi-Han. He's going to judge

He's the Grandmaster so he's always busy. Going to concerts isn't happening and honestly? He doesn't give me the vibes of someone who's a fan of concerts

He doesn't hate your job, he just genuinely doesn't get it

Remember how I said Kung Lao will give you brutally honest advice? Same goes for him. You can always trust the truth to come outta him (unless it's about the father he let die but anyway)

I don't see him doing anything special. I don't see him buying posters or tickets or streaming or concerts. He cares for you but doesn't see the need to do all that.

If he did stream he'd probably just put the video on repeat on his phone and go do other shit. At the same time though, do they even have cell service? Where is Lin Kuei HQ??

Absolutely refuses to add ice or snow to your set for an MV. Be a team player. Damn. Stop thinking everything is beneath you.

“That is entirely beneath me” “aight, I guess you don’t want me beneath you”

He apologizes for his outburst (I was making that joke happen by any means necessary)

I just think he's the most nonchalant about dating a celebrity. Probably forgets you're a popstar

Loses a piece of his sanity everytime a Lin Kuei ninja loses their mind over you. Actually wants to join his father in the afterlife. How y'all even seeing these performances? Y'all sneaking off?!

You're disturbing his peace but hey, it is what it is

Kuai Liang

Also doesn't understand why that job, but he's less judgmental than Bi-Han. Not everyone can defend Earthrealm.

I also don't see him doing a lot. He's busy and also he's just not interested in being around a bunch of sweaty ass fans. Nothing against you

If he did buy your merch I think he'd set it in like, a box. He only bought it to be supportive. He's not gonna hang it up or anything. To be honest, he might give it to the rest of the guys (Johnny, Kenshi, Kung Lao, Raiden and Liu Kang)

I see the Lin Kuei as private and not really interactive when it comes to normal citizens so I honestly don't know what to say for them 😭

I don't even know if Kuai Liang likes pop music. Him and Bi-Han give me the vibes of someone who listens to white noise to past time

Like Bi-Han, he's nonchalant about the whole celebrity thing.

Probably doesn't even have a phone. He probably got an old ass mp3 player. What are you doing with that?

If your songs are more calm and chill, I can see him liking it when you sing while he does something

Popstars wear dramatic ass outfits and this is definitely when he starts judging you

“How does it look?” “It… looks”

He's used to practical outfits so I think he subconsciously spots all the ways your outfits could injure you

“You could be easily spotted” “That's the whole point”

Will he add fire to an MV for background effects? Possibly. He has to have nothing else to do and be absolutely bored out of his mind to do so. Bi-Han says no out of spite and “this is beneath me”. Kuai Liang initially says no and has the same “this is beneath me” thought process, but he folds easier. There's certain things he is absolutely not doing though

“I am not saying 'get over here’ for you” “You're so not fun”

This relationship feels like a hostage situation but oh well

Tomas Vrbada

He wants to be as stern and serious as his brothers but we all know I babygirlify him so it's not happening

He doesn't have a phone but he asks Johnny to use his and have your shit on repeat for the views

Idk why but I feel like he's a Twice stan so he's no stranger to pop music. I have no reliable sources for this

I could see him buying pins and keeping them in his pocket since he can't have it on his outfit

I don't think for any of the brothers, your fans would know you're dating which is something they'd want. They're assassins. They can't be all over the internet.

Doesn't go to concerts because he can't. Such a sad life

Gives background smoke for effects cause he's a team player

Wants to be the first to hear anything you're working on

Gives you honest advice but nicely

I think he has conflicting feelings about you always being in the spotlight. He loves that you're happy but is also worried because that comes with danger and if smth were to happen, there's a good chance he wouldn't be there

I feel like Tomas can lowkey sing (once again no reliable sources present) so karaoke? karaoke.

You could talk him into doing a collab but it'd never be released. It'd just be for you two

He wants to keep up with everything you're doing as it's happening but once again, no phone. Instead he just checks in with you whenever he sees you

The most aware out of the brothers that he's dating a celebrity.

Probably the brother you'd feel the most supported by because he's the most expressive (?). He makes his support very known and doesn't question why you're doing what you're doing

He doesn't give me as much Ken energy as Johnny does, but he still gives me “Ken only has a great day if Barbie looks at him”. Like I said for Johnny, you're Barbie regardless of gender

Syzoth

Does Zaterra or Outworld even have popstars? For comedy sake, imma say not exactly

He was ran out of Zaterra and he was working for Shang Tsung, so even if they do he had no time to actually enjoy music

So when he hears you're a popstar, he has no idea what you're talking about. You have to genuinely explain what your job is, what you do, what's a tour, what's merch, etc. etc.

Like the Lin Kuei Bros, he has no phone. He doesn't understand technology at all. He's like a grandpa fr, so his interactions with your music is slim to none when it comes to music videos

Explain it to him as many times as you want. He doesn't get it.

You have to actually show him the video on your phone. You have to show him any merch you have so he can pick whatever he wants and you can sneak it to him

Prefers you singing for him live rather than watching a music video but he watches them anyway because you're really proud of them

Like Tomas, he likes little pins or other little trinkets

Since he was in a traveling circus, he knows what performing is but you're getting paid and treated fairly which he finds fantastic

He is slightly worried tho from his time being in said circus. You have to explain that they're two different things (sorta, not really) and you're ok

Has no idea what's going on but is supportive anyway

He tries really hard to understand Earthrealm customs and culture to better understand you. Is he successful? Probably depends on the subject

He doesn't get merch at all or why it's so stupidly expensive. If you weren't giving it to him for free, he probably wouldn't buy it to be honest. He likes that you're proud of how it looks but why is it necessary for success? He just doesn't understand it

Concerts he somewhat gets. The idea is cute but once he sees videos of people fainting, he swears he's never going to one of those

Does not want your fans to know you're dating him. Does not want to be in any of your videos as himself or a lizard. Wants nothing to do with the spotlight. He has trauma with being known.

It'll take awhile to explain to him what fan culture and memes are, but he's ready to learn for you.

Idk if I wanna write more silly shit or angst shit. I guess we’ll find out next episode

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mothmanssweetsucculentass · 12 days

Text

Ok here’s my two cents that no one asked for on the current (sort of?) debate going on in the Creepypasta fandom on here rn.

For starters, I grew up with Creepypasta. I also grew up mentally ill. I am also autistic. So I know my way around good and bad mental health rep at this point. And to be honest? A lot of the original stories DID suck balls at representation or just horror writing in general.

However, nowadays I see other people on here, often mentally ill or any other social outcast, taking these characters and reshaping them as their own to fit their own feelings and experiences, and I don’t think anyone has the authority to criticize things like that. Cringe culture is supposed to be dead anyways, nevermind the fact it’s inherently ableist at its core.

We also need to take into account kids still exist in the fandom. Pre teens who got tired of shit like scooby doo and wanted something more “mature” or “edgy” to get into without fully going off the deep end into full blown horror movies. At least that’s how it was for me. Not everyone, especially someone who’s younger, is gonna be comfortable with the grit and gore a lot of Creepypasta “purists” are pushing for these days, and that’s okay! When a fandom gets popular it’s always inevitable and unavoidable to have the popular characters get two dimensionalized.

There’s also the whole mascot horror thing that I don’t wanna get into, but I’m 90% sure that also plays a part in the old favorites like Jeff and slenderman being brought up again. They were and still are recognizable characters. Recognizable characters aren’t a bad thing. Making horror more approachable for younger audiences isn’t a bad thing. People having their own interpretations based out of their own experiences isn’t a bad thing.

Some of us grew up and wanted the more edgy and reality based content, and that’s also not a bad thing! But neither side should be dictating or policing how the other enjoys content in this fandom. If you personally don’t like the way something is written, characterized, depicted, or drawn, no one’s forcing you to look at it. No one’s claiming it as canon. No one’s asking for you to accept it as the end all be all.

At the end of the day this fandom was built on OCs and personal depictions of stuff. I can’t name a single character or story in this community that was created by some outside party like a movie or TV studio FIRST (because I know some got so popular they breached the fandom and got their own shows/movies/comics/etc). Everything here was created by someone who wanted an outlet for their creativity, or their pain, or their coping, or whatever else.

Realism and dark headcanons aren’t bad, and neither are any of the headcanons out there who just wanna make a goofy found family of social rejects as a form of escapism.

A 13 year old drawing a fictional layout of a fictional mansion where these fictional characters live isn’t going to suddenly invalidate the horror, I promise, it’s not that deep and it never was.

A 22 year old making a dark comic on the realistic origins of Jeff who is a fictional character in a fictional world isn’t going to suddenly invalidate the more softhearted side of the fandom.

Sure, there can still be a split if people are so adamant about that, but as someone who personally enjoys both the brutal horror side and the “haha Jeff is 15 and gay” sides equally, y’all need to at least learn to be civil to anyone who has a different headcanon than you. And if that seems like too much still, the block button exists for a reason.

TL:DR this fandom is based entirely off OCs and headcanons and people can do whatever the fuck they want because none of it is real and horror comes in many shapes and sizes and intensities and no one should be bashing anyone on their headcanons or views or rewrites or whatever else.

EDIT:

Actually wait I think I have more to say-

Horror, like any genre, has NO AGE LIMIT. And by that I mean, if someone younger wants to delve into scary stuff, they should be allowed to do so without criticism. I personally grew up on “child friendly” horror media like Scooby-Doo, and the older I got the more horror I wanted to experience.

There’s no right or wrong way to “understand” horror, and I frankly think it’s ignorant and stupid to say if you don’t fully “understand” something, then you shouldn’t be involved in it at all. Horror isn’t always about gore and unspeakable violence and the eldritch entity that wants everyone’s skin inside out. That’s why horror has sub genres for fucks sake. Gut wrenching brutality against innocent people isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay!

However, bashing anyone’s tamer headcanons, or calling anything anyone interprets differently than you “stupid”, that’s not okay. God, I feel like an exhausted parent giving this lecture to fellow adults, but this really needs to be said and stressed.

I am an adult. I like when stuff in the fandom takes a dark turn. But for nostalgia’s sake, I also love the fanon so much, because that’s what I was exposed to.

And for fucks sake if it comes down to picking sides, I would rather stick with the part of this fandom that gives zero shits how you see a character as long as you’re having fun.

You can have your serial killer 30 year old Jeff and your canon-accurate-to-that-one-image eyeless Jack, but don’t shit on other people if they don’t want the same thing. Your interpretation isn’t canon, and neither is anyone else’s for that matter.

Realistic, dark, gritty Creepypasta isn’t a new concept, and neither is “adult” Creepypasta. And by the way, Creepypasta was never stated to be for adults. That’s like saying kids and only kids can eat trix cereal. It sounds that stupid on paper.

Let people interpret things the way they wanna interpret. No one is infringing on YOUR character ideas. Creepypasta has no age limit, nor a set way the horror has to be presented. Those who do continue to claim that just sound like pretentious assholes.

Very small side note, I personally think it’s inappropriate and rude to keep using Toby as a “bad example” of mental health rep when the creator has stated multiple times the character is old, not researched, and not even in the fandom anymore. Leave the poor guy alone.

#creepypasta #creepypasta fandom #jeff the killer #rant #I’m not a professional in anything don’t @ me #I’ve just been here for years #so I at the very least partially know what I’m talking about #I personally think this purist mindset and behavior is bs if you go and attack other creators #just be nice to people Ohmygod #update #eyeless Jack #slenderman

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everythingne · 4 months

Text

hey yall :D!

i've just moved back into my dorm for classes today but i don't start any actual work for a while. im gonna be a bit slower now with work and such but I wanted to let y'all know of some upcoming fics to expect :)! please let me know if any specific ones interest you as i am in a bit of a slump and any encouragement seriously helps <3

growing pains - dr3

(3+1) three times the girls pain makes you and daniel realize they're not always going to be your little ones. (a first period, a first breakup, and moving out) and one time, the girls come back to show all the lessons you've taught them, and that no matter their age they'll always be your little girls.

mrs mclaren - ln4

the winner of the mini series vote for my 300 follower special was lando, friends to lovers/mutual pining, angst/whatever. so born from that is y/n mclaren, the granddaughter of bruce mclaren, who may just have a huge crush on her driver and somehow literally everyone but lando knows.

wasted summers - op81

to try and solve your huge two decades old crush on your childhood best friend, you attempt to capture his love over the short summer break, with the help of F1 twitter and other racers. it goes about how you would expect.

gripped - ln4

Roxanne Powell's quick thinking on a film set saves Lando from serious injury, the moment making an unlikely connection between one of the top Formula One drivers who takes all the fame and glory for his team, and a girl whose work is hardly credited to herself. it takes seeing the other side to open your eyes.

more below (max n logan)

the one with the wedding - mv1

max grapples with the fact he's getting married on his wedding day. slightly inspired by friends and real weddings i've attended. luckily charles and daniel are there to ease his fears, and you end up having a picture perfect monaco wedding.

akin to a pride verse - 'i truly am my fathers child' - mv1

when brought to tears by ruthless bullying by reporters, reina snaps and hits a reporter out of fear, but the media claims its anger. with no other option, hana flies max to london help her daughter out of a depressive episode caused by reina realizing she's more like her father than she ever wants to be. its a conversation that makes max think back on his actions too.

drunk walk home verse - 'stalkers tango' - mv1

isaiah doesn't go away, not after max nearly shatters his nose. late night phone calls, text messages, and dms lead to a break in that terrifies you and the f1 world. luckily, you're away for the break in, but its not safe for you to return alone. don't worry though, max enlists the help of a few drivers to move all your stuff to his while you 'hunt for apartments.'

wing damage ch 2 - mv1

nadine struggles to accept the fact that she's single and alone in her now too big yet claustrophobic apartment. luckily for her, max is only a phone call away. and a few too many drinks lead to what is probably the stupidest decision for two newly single people who are hurting in their own rights.

meet cute, stay cute - ls2

logan keeps having meet-cutes with you throughout london, noticing the same thing each time, a book tucked under your arm. when you move in next door, he capitalizes on the opportunity to make this meet cute permanent by buying you romance books he's recommended by friends and twitter as a means of flirting.

out of the woods ch3 - ls2

dhanishka struggles to accept the fact that even her best performances can be deemed unfit, and the actions of herself when shes drunk. logan struggles to accept he may have cut things off early. charles needs more wine to deal with this.

go fins! - ls2

logan is only following one miami dolphins cheerleader, you. and you don't think its a big deal until he comes to visit to get an honorary helmet for the miami gp, and they have you give it to him. the clips circle for weeks, begging to know if you're dating the driver, and sometimes its more fun to make a rumor be true than to shut it down.

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devildomwriter · 4 months

Note

🪷:

I haven't TOUCHED nb! in a while (left after playing through lesson 13 I think) the last scene i remember playing were mc was in coma while brothers confessed and yea I left after that

Recently I see some uproar about lesson 37 💀 I am so curious but sooo lazy to play through it myself. Will you be so kind to spoil the entire nb! lore for me? Lmaoo

Seriously though I see spoilers of Lucifer RAGING and I have no idea 🤌

Wow that’s a lot to go through haha I’ll try and give a brief summary

Michael saves MC from their comma and the boys and MC are reunited and they are accepting of MC being a human

Diavolo decides he must send Mc back to the human world but before he can he is forced to undergo trials to prove his right as the king because the House of Lords is angry with him

Afterwards Henry goes missing and the brothers search for him. Shortly after it’s announced Raphael will be coming and they are all on edge.

When Raphael arrives he tells everyone they will be allowed back to the Celestial Realm and their father has pardoned their crimes and warns if they don’t accept they will “intervene”

The brothers individually decide they cannot leave Satan behind because he is their brother but Lucifer wants them to go back and he alone with stay with Satan because his actions are what caused his brothers to fall. In the end they all reject their pardon and stay with Satan where a ball is thrown by Diavolo to officially announce them as the seven rulers of hell.

The end credits scene reveals that Raphael was actually Michael in disguise coming to check on his brothers

Season Two

At the beginning of the season the brothers are working with Diavolo, Barbatos, and Mephistopheles for a more solid set of rules and classes at RAD and participate in mock classes

As that happens the brothers begin succumbing to their sins one by one

First Mammon succumbs to greed and his Little D. (which are revealed to be a reflection of themselves) is the key to saving him by delving into Mammon’s psyche. They then form a pact.

Next this happens to Asmo who becomes strong enough to enslave all his brothers until Solomon and MC use his Little D. to stop him. They then form a pact.

Next Satan meets Little D. no 4 and is embarrassed by his behavior and sinks into a coma but since he was born with his sin he doesn’t succumb to it but Little D. is needed to save him from within his mind where it’s revealed the first things his brothers ever gave him are his greatest treasures. They then form a pact.

Next Beelzebub grows much hungrier but doesn’t succumb and instead grows weaker. It’s thought that Beelzebub is becoming weak because he is the least demon-like of his brothers. Little D faces against Beelzebub in an eating competition and Beelzebub proves himself the avatar of gluttony.

Belphegor won’t let MC form a pact with Beel as he isn’t sure they can be trusted so MC undergoes the angel’s trial where they cannot tell a lie or the bracelet will break and they will not forge a pact with Beel. MC ends up telling Solomon his cooking is bad which devastates him but tells a lie to cover for Luke and it’s revealed the trial isn’t not to lie but to know the weight of a lie.

Leviathan overhears MC talking with Solomon about how they need pacts to get back to their world. Leviathan becomes upset and hides away in his room. He succumbs to envy and his powers rage out of control and flood the Devildom. Eventually MC is able to get through to him and Leviathan saves them.

Belphegor doesn’t want MC to leave and won’t accept the news so he uses his powers to keep his brothers too slothful to do anything and traps MC in the attic so they can’t leave but MC uses his Little D and breaks him out of his own psyche.

In the attic everyone reunites and agree to help MC return home so Belphegor, Beelzebub, and Leviathan makes pacts with MC. Everyone believes Lucifer will hop of board but he states he doesn’t want to, a sentence that makes Diavolo laugh.

Lucifer begins suggesting MC get used to life in the Devildom as they won’t be able to return home.

The brothers discuss how odd this is when MC wins a trip for two on a Devildom train owned by a noble. Lucifer invites himself as the second guest and during the trip is hinted his pride is at play and they may need his Little D. Before this can happen, Diavolo sends Mephistopheles after Lucifer and MC to make sure they are safe since a noble who hates Lucifer and his brothers owns the train.

Mephistopheles intrudes on their vacation and he and Lucifer butt heads often. The train is then hijacked and it’s pinned on MC, Mephistopheles, and Lucifer. Mephistopheles and MC are freed but Lucifer is sent to the lowest layer of the underworld, Cocytus, for punishment.

The brothers reveal the underworld is technically Celestial Realm territory so it’s weird that Lucifer is being punished for a crime committed in the Devildom in Celestial Realm territory. The brothers and Luke and Simeon venture to Cocytus to save Lucifer but the brothers are each restrained on different levels of cocytus for their crimes.

They reach Lucifer who is surprised to see MC and horrified to learn his brothers came along since the final layer of Cocytus is where you are punished for crimes against their father. As he’s yelling demanding to know where his brothers are is when Raphael is forced to read Lucifer his crimes and that he and his brothers are trapped in Cocytus and will be punished forevermore for their crimes in the Celestial War.

Lucifer is saddened for Raphael and enraged his brothers are suffering and in his rage he breaks free of his chains.

Meanwhile Diavolo is more furious than Barbatos has ever seen and is meeting with the House of the Lords to uncover what they plotted to get Lucifer arrested by the Celestial Realm.

That’s where we currently are in the game.

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me lucifer

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niqhtlord01 · 1 year

Text

Humans are weird: Belief in one’s self

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)

Human bartender: What’s your poison?

Alien: Excuse me?

Bartender: Sorry, Earth expression.

Bartender: Whatchya buying?

Alien: Do you have something to make sadness go away?

Bartender: Depends on the sadness I suppose.

Alien: What does that have to do with anything?

Bartender: *Shrugs* Different things fix different problems.

Alien: *groans*

Alien: Something to make me feel like I’m not a failure.

Bartender: *nods and begins making drink*

Bartender: If you don’t mind me asking, what’s got you thinking you’re a failure?

Alien: Are all humans this talkative?

Bartender: Mostly.

Alien: *groans again*

Alien: I feel like I am trapped at my work because I can’t reach any higher than where I am.

Bartender: If you wanted an arm extension I could tell you about these nifty claw things I got off sky mall.

Alien: What?

Alien: I didn’t mean physically reach things you idiot.

Bartender: Shoot and a miss then.

Alien: I mean that every time I try and do something better for myself I start feeling like I won’t be able to achieve it.

Alien: Then the next thing you know I feel like I shouldn’t even try and then finally I just give up and accept that I’m not going anywhere.

Bartender: Sounds like you’ve got a bit of a self-confidence problem.

Alien: I asked you to make me a drink, not psychoanalyze me.

Bartender: You’d be surprised how often in my career I can do both.

Alien: If you’re so good at it why didn’t you become a doctor then?

Alien: *Mockingly* Mr. smarty human.

Bartender: Fees and expenses for starters; but that’s beside the point.

Bartender: *Place drink down in front of alien.*

Alien: What is that and why is it yellow?

Bartender: It’s called a John Daly.

Alien: Why in Zuels name would you name a drink after a person?

Bartender: The same reason we give out nicknames like “the impaler”; we run out of good ideas and just go with the obvious.

Alien: *Sips drink*

Alien: It’s not entirely bad.

Bartender: Good, because I don’t get paid if it was.

Bartender: *reaches behind counter and pulls out a cd*

Alien: What’s that?

Bartender: Some music I think you should listen to.

Alien: If I wanted to listen to music I would be getting intoxicated back home.

Bartender: I think you’d like this one.

Bartender: *Inserts cd and “Ode to Joy” begins playing*

Alien: That’s not bad either; who wrote it?

Bartender: A human called Beethoven.

Alien: He must have had an amazing ear for music to write this.

Bartender: Actually he was deaf as a doornail when he wrote this.

Alien: You jest.

Bartender: I certainly do not.

Bartender: He couldn’t hear a single thing when he wrote this song.

Alien: If he could not hear how could he write such wonder?

Bartender: Because he didn’t need his ears to hear it; he could hear it in here. *Taps chest*

Alien: In your lungs?

Bartender: What? No; in here. *Taps chest again*

Alien: Your liver?

Bartender: No.

Alien: Your spleen?

Bartender: Still no.

Alien: *Pauses*

Alien: Your liver?

Bartender: Oh for gods sakes…

Bartender: He could hear it in his heart; in his very soul.

Bartender: It didn’t matter that he could no longer hear his music, he believed in himself that he could still create such wonders the likes of which are still debated and listened to generations after his body has turned to dust.

Alien: So this is meant to be some motivational speech to get me to believe in myself?

Bartender: If I had laid it on any thicker you’d be covered in it.

Alien: Well excuse me, I’m drunk.

Bartender: Dude, come on.

Bartender: I gave you a John Daly, not an Aunt Roberta.

Bartender: You might as well be drinking that out of a sippy cup.

Alien: Well if it was so weak why in Zuel’s name did you give it to me?

Bartender: Because I could tell the moment you walked in what you needed wasn’t to get drunk, but a friend to tell you things are going to be alright.

Alien: *looks and drinks and sniffles*

Bartender: We’ve all had shitty days, but if a deaf man can write music that has defied the ages you can find a way to get yourself where you want to be.

Alien: You would have made a great doctor.

Bartender: Don’t I know it.

Bartender: By the way that’s $18.50 for the drink.

Alien: What?!

Bartender: Well I need to pay those bills for doctor school somehow.

#HUMANS ARE WEIRD #humans are insane #humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities #scifi #story #writing #original writing #niqhtlord01

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whiteboi-inferiority · 1 month

Text

Some of you been trying to get in touch lately. That's cool.

If you're just swinging by to say hi and thanks, then what follows doesn't apply to you.

You want me to talk to you though? Some hints and tips (and very common mistakes) that will increase your chances of an actual conversation or two and from there, who knows.

The best way is to have a blog with some original content. Pics of you, stories, captions, whatever. I'm looking for commitment and authenticity, some skin in the game, some evidence of actual fucking effort. In your message don't just fawn. I don't need that. Be brief, be articulate, be confident in what you like and what you bring to the table and be clear on why you want a place with me, specifically, over any generic black guy or Dom. Job interview etiquette applies and know I get 4 or 5 'candidates' a day. Respect the fact I am a busy guy with a life away from here, several real life submissives, and several more long distance things going on. My girls, gurls and bois are all different, all exquisite, and they all interest me in different ways. It's on you to show me what i'm missing and why I'm going to make time for you. Be a muse, be amusing. Wow me.

So!

If you have an empty blog, don't bother. I'm not interested in lurkers.

If your blog is just reposts of the usual stuff I've seen 100 times before, don't bother.

If you're just going to start contact with 'hey...', don't bother. I'm not interested.

If you're just looking for someone, anyone, to Dom you for the 2 minutes it takes for you to jerk off, don't bother. I'm not a jack off service.

If your blog is full of explicit hard core porn, don't bother - your account will be deactivated soon and you'll probably be disappeared before we start chatting away from here anyway. You don't represent a good ROI of my time. Of the 4 or 5 of you that make contact today, 2 of you will be gone tomorrow, and at least 1 more within the month.

Unless your wife/gf/mom/daughter is hot, living near me and interested in hooking up, I don't care that you wish you could see them suck a cock like a Blacked girl right in front of you. If I can't see it, smell it, hear it, taste it or feel it - if its not actually going to happen on my cock - I don't care.

Outright headcanon fantasists and part-timers who 'don't need to dress up because they can imagine it so well...', hard pass. If I tell you to feminise yourself, take a pic in a certain pose, jerk off a certain way or make a post about something it isn't a question of whether you feel you need to to sustain your little fantasy. It's a question of whether you're going to pay the price of submission to talk to me. If you can't or won't follow simple instruction, then I have no interest in you.

Those of you who confuse sissy with trans, hard pass. Trans women are women. You are not a woman just because you fantasise about being sexually submissive and effeminate around a black man. You're a sissy, a toy, a whiteboi fuckdoll. That's all. If you can't or don't accept that, don't bother.

FLR, ABDL, Gooners: kittens I adore seeing you relinquish your masculinity and pride to roll around in your own shame and filth. But to be clear: these kinks are your weaknesses, not my interests. I cater to you because my mission is to enable every single last one of you whiteboi fucks to become codependent emasculated bottom-feeders of one kind or another, willingly, done by yourselves to yourselves, stripped of the convenient deniability of coercion. I'm fixing to cook and push good quality junk so you can fuck yourselves up, not share the needle. Definitely not looking to change your fucking diapers.

If you clearly haven't read this pinned note, don't bother.

Stay sticky, losers

#loser humiliation #pathetic loser #bnwo #bnwo propaganda #pussy free whiteboy #beta faggot #whiteboi feminization #white beta #beta sissy #prejac #gooning #gooner

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jonathan-samuel-smith · 6 months

Note

Lord Jon and Prince Damian is a funny combination because just imagine Clark never managed to conquer all earth because magic and magic user, Talia basically built a huge kingdom to protect her people from the Lords and also accepts some others who are fleeing.

Years past and Jon has always been curious about that place and laughs when he faces Talia's youngest soldiers. He falls in love deeply hard about that boy with green eyes, then Jon starts to try to seduce that cute and smol boy (and Damian hates him deeply)

Just imagine:

Jon: *throws a body at his door like a cat*

Damian: ... Some guys bring flowers

Jon: I'm not 'some guy'

And also

J: "i've killed for you. how many other people can say that?"

D: "... Multiple, actually"

Basically: Lord Jon's love language is being annoying

Took me a while to figure out how I'd write the Super Lords, but eventually I was inspired by another work. I might write a sequel to this but we'll see. Fic under the cut.

Jon was scrolling on his phone, looking to find people talking negatively about him or his father so he could send them death threats. He could probably find them easily and make good on those threats, but then he'd have to get up, and he was comfortable where he was. He was getting a little peckish though, so he might run through a couple if he got up to eat.

His dad came into the room looking flawless. “Jon.”

“Hey dad, can you get me something to eat?”

“What? No. Get it yourself, or better yet, ask Kelex.”

“I thought you took away my voice commands after I killed the wrong general last week.”

“Oh, right. Have the knowledge crystals not taught you how to hack yet?”

Jon groaned ”I hate the knowledge crystals dad, they take so much time. I don't see the point in them.”

“The point is they would teach you how to solve problems, like how to reinstate your voice commands in Kelex’s code. Now get up, I have something important for you to do.”

Jon got up and stretched. “Oh I'm way hungrier than I thought. Hold that thought, Dad.”

“Jona–” Kal started sternly as a gust of wind blew past him. He could hear Jon ferociously consuming junk food from the pantry in superspeed. When he was done, he ran back up to his dad.

“Hey Dad, I'm back. What's up?”

“What do you know about Talia Al Ghul?”

“Oh that's easy. She's like, your archnemesis. Her family's got really strong magic so she can kill us if she gets close enough. She controls the last stronghold of human resistance. She's older than you so she's, what, a million?” He grinned cheekily “Just kidding, Dad. You don't look a day over 500.” He laughed. “Kidding! You should see the look on your face.”

“Jon, I'm being serious here.”

“‘kay.”

“She's just crowned her heir, Prince Damian. He's your age.”

“Oh?”

“He's an even more powerful mage than his mother, and trained in martial arts. He is a serious threat, one that needs to be neutralized.”

“Ok, but how am I gonna do that? You said he's more powerful than his mom, and you can't kill her.”

“He takes his group of soldiers into the Himalayas every month to train privately. I want you to ambush them.”

“Kill them, right? How do you want them dead?”

“Doesn't matter.”

“Alright. I'll be right back.”

Kal grabbed his arm and dug his fingers in hard enough to bruise. “You could die today, Jon. Take this seriously. Run away if you need to. You're no good to me dead.”

Jon nodded. “Got it.”

Jon flew to the mountains and looked for them with his heat vision. He found them fighting each other and flew down and started snapping the neck of the closest person to him. Unfortunately, this was slow enough to draw alarm from the other assassins, who all knew magical attacks. Still, Jon was quick and he fought dirty, letting out a deafening shout and causing an avalanche. The teens fought him with martial arts married with magic, sacrificing their lives so that the final assassin could defeat Jon and place him in magical bindings.

He spat blood. “You're lucky they can be brought back to life, or I wouldn't have spared yours.”

“I didn't ask you to. But thank you– not for sparing my life, but for beating me. I've never lost before. It was exhilarating! Can you do it again?”

The boy looked at him strangely. “What?”

Jon grinned manically. “You're a great fighter. I want you to defeat me again. And again and again until I get bored. What's your name? I never even lose to my dad.”

“... I am prince Damian Al Ghul.”

“Oh no way! I came here to kill you! Well, I'm not doing that anymore.”

“Clearly not.” Damian said, gesturing to the chains around him.

“Oh no, not cuz of that. I meant cuz like–” Jon cut himself off as Damian took off his mask and piercing green eyes met his own. “Wow, you're really pretty. I've never seen anyone as pretty as you in my whole life. Definitely not prettier. I think I was saying something?”

Damian blushed. “Tt. You were saying why you're not going to kill me.”

“I think I'm in love with you.”

“What?!” Damian squeaked.

“That was so cute! You're so cute! You're so small you look like you'd fit just right in my arms!”

“Go back to the ‘I love you’ part because I'm not understanding!” He shouted.

“I'll say it as many times as you want! I love you, I love you, iloveyouiloveyouiloveyoui–”

“Stop! You can't love me, you just met me, and your dad is superman!”

“Um, I'm pretty sure I can. Love at first sight is a thing, and I've known you for longer than that already.”

“So what, just because you think I'm pretty and I beat you for the first time, you're in love with me?”

“Is that not enough? Ok well, I really like the color of your eyes, and you're really powerful, and you make me feel so many feelings I have never felt before! Fear, excitement, curiosity, admiration, respect, awe, happiness, arousal–”

“Stop talking.”

“Whatever you want, gorgeous.”

“That's talking.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.”

“Still talking.”

“I don't know how you want me to stop talking if you keep talking to me. Oh but uh, don't stop, I like it.”

Damian facepalmed. “I'm taking you back to my mother.”

“Oh I hope she doesn't decide to kill me after you went through the trouble of sparing me, that would be really embarrassing for you.”

Damian was quiet for a few minutes. “...You've never felt curious? Or excited, or afraid or happy? Really?”

Jon shrugged. “Maybe once. But nowadays I'm always either bored or bloodthirsty. Except right now, I'm neither. You're the most interesting person I've ever met and I just killed 5 people. That's like, 1 more than I usually do in a day.”

Damian set his jaw hard. “Why do you kill so many people?”

“Why do you think, assassin Prince? To feel alive.”

“...Who do you usually kill?”

“Dissidents and criminals. My dad's okay if they're dissidents or criminals. There's not, like, a ton of those out there anymore, though, so I've taken to scrolling back really far on Twitter. Oh, and jaywalkers.”

“Tt. Typical.”

“Who do you usually kill?”

“Political enemies, soldiers, criminals.”

“I guess everyone's a political enemy when they're aligned with us and not you. That's a lot more people you can kill. I kinda wanna join your side now.”

“We don't kill frivolously.”

“Why not?”

“Because we value human life.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean, why? Why does your father care about order if not to preserve human life?”

Jon laughed. “My dad doesn't care about humans! He just wanted to tidy things up. He gets mad when I kill other people because it messes with his system. It's one of those dumb parent rules, like keeping your socks in the sock drawer, or cleaning the fortress on Sundays even though we have robot servants.”

“... You're completely insane.”

“Do you want me not to be?”

Damian furrowed his brow. “Why are you asking me that?”

“I want you to get what you want! You deserve to get anything you want, way more than my dad does. I bet you could with your magic! Cast a spell on me, make me sane for you. If you want that, I want it.”

“It's Jonathan, isn't it?”

“Yeah, or you can call me Jon. Or you know, whatever you want. Even if it's mean, I can take it.”

“...Jonathan. I don't want to take your agency away with my magic. That wouldn't be right.”

Jon shrugged against his chains. “If you say so, my prince.” Damian was quiet for a while, and Jon slipped free of his chains to help Damian cart back all of the bodies. “You should let me carry this.”

“What– Jon?! How did you escape my bindings?”

“Magic interacts completely unpredictably with me.”

“I don't– why are you even still here?”

“Why would I leave? It's not as if there's anything more interesting on TV. Twitter says all the shows are boring cuz of Dad. Well, you know, the dead side of Twitter. God do you know how perfect you look? From every angle?”

“Jon, I think you should just leave.”

“Well, my dad is expecting me home soon. What do you think I should tell him about you not being dead?”

“... Is he going to hurt you if you go back?”

Jon shrugged. “If I let him. Which I probably will, so I don't get grounded. But I might be grounded anyway since this meant a lot to him. If I don't get grounded, can I see you again?”

“It's best if you don't.”

“I'm going to be honest, I don't like that answer. If you want me to stay away you'll have to use your magic to harm me.”

“Tt. Do you have a death wish?”

“No. My biggest wish is for you to spar with me and win.”

“What if I lose?”

“Then we'll go again until you win.”

“...Hm. You're very… persistent.”

Jon grinned. “Thanks. Wow, it feels really good when you compliment me. Do it again.”

“Um… you have really unique eyes?”

Jon beamed. “This is great, keep going!”

Damian blushed. “I'd rather not.”

Jon pouted. “Pleeeeaaase? I'll do anything.”

“Will you go home?”

“Fine, yes, after… 3 more compliments. Then I'll go home, for now.”

“Tt. Your curls look very nice, your hair makes a nice contrast against your skin tone and you– ah… you… that is, you're very strong.”

“I already knew that last one.”

“I meant muscular.”

“That's not a compliment, that's just a fact.”

Damian’s ears burned. “...I like it. I like that about you. I like that you're muscular. It looks… visually appealing.”

“Oh, I'm definitely in love with you. I'd love to stay and compliment you back, but I said I'd leave, and I want you to trust me! If you ever need me, or just want me, all you have to do is call. I'll come.”

Jon flew back home. “Dad? I ambushed him, caused an avalanche, and killed his squad, but he still beat me.” Jon called out.

Kal walked out to see his son. “You look unharmed. Why did he let you go?”

“Honestly? I think I annoyed him too much. But I'm going back tomorrow.”

“I see… an ambush didn't work, so you'll have to gain his trust and then betray him. I was going to punish you but your tenacity and cunning deserve a reward, so it is simpler to do nothing.

“Oh, yeah, psh, that's totally why I want to go back. I totally want to murder him in cold blood. I mean, you know how much I love murder.”

Kal frowned. “I do know. It gets in the way of your studies. However, this time I approve.”

“‘kay. Thanks. See ya.” He went back to his room to watch Damian with his X-ray vision.

The next day, Jon went to Nanda Parbat and watched Damian from the sky, waiting until he was alone to approach him.

Damian’s hair was slicked back with sweat and he was flushed and panting.

“Prince Damian. You look somehow even more incredible than last time.”

“Spare me the mockery.”

“What? I'm not mocking you. The way your skin flushes and glistens is as enchanting as any of your spells, my lord.”

“Hn. You know most humans find sweat repulsive?”

“I'm only half human. Also, you smell great. Musky. Can I lick you?”

“Definitely not.” Jon pouted. “Do you want something?”

“Yeah. Can we spar?”

“After lunch. Would you like to dine with me?”

“Can I? Won't the servants see me?”

“I cook for myself.”

Jon gasped. “I get to try your cooking?! Yes!” He pumped his fist in the air.

Damian chuckled good naturedly.

Jon leaned against the island as Damian cooked. “What did your dad say about you failing to kill me?”

“Oh I told him I was going back today and he thought I meant that I was going to gain your trust to kill you.” Damian stiffened. “So I'm going to let him think that so I can spend more time with you.”

“Try this.” Damian said, handing Jon a spoonful of sauce. Jon tasted it.

“Hm, that's pretty good! I've never had this before.”

Damian tasted it himself and nodded. “It is good.”

Jon ate at his usual impatient pace and spent the rest of the meal talking at Damian.

“Alright, Superboy, follow me.”

“Anywhere.”

“Tt.” Damian led him to the training courtyard. “Here we are. Remember to be quiet.”

Jon rushed to tackle Damian but he predicted it and dodged, casting a spell to slow down Jon’s movements. It was a lot stronger than the spell Damian intended to cast, and he moved like a sloth. “Wow prince…” he began as Damian took his time pinning Jon to the ground and immobilizing him with a spell. The first spell wore off quicker than expected. “...Damian you're so fast! Oh, it's already over!” Jon giggled. “You did even better this time! I suppose it's to be expected since it wasn't an ambush. You're really impressive…” Jon sighed dreamily, looking up into Damian’s eyes with a lovestruck gaze.

Damian coughed and looked away. “...You wanted me to beat you. Did you go easy on me?”

“I can honestly say that didn't even occur to me. I don't know why I would do that. Would it have made you happy?”

“Hell no. It would have made me angry.”

Jon smiled. “I'd like to see you angry. Maybe I will next time. Though I don't know if you'd even notice, considering how well you beat me this time.”

Damian looked confused. “Why would you want me to be angry?”

Jon raised a brow. “‘Cause I wanna see how you look when you're angry. I've never seen it before. I wonder if it would make me angry, too. I never get angry anymore.”

“You're… impossible.”

Jon grinned toothily. “Is that a good thing?”

“... I haven't decided.” Damian got off of Jon, much to the younger teen’s disappointment, and did a nullification spell on Jon before helping him up. Jon smirked and flipped Damian over his shoulder as he stood, but Damian landed on his feet and cast a sleeping spell on Jon. He woke him up with a water spell, sitting on his chest.

“You got me again! I love you.”

“You're weird.”

“Is that bad?”

“I haven't decided.”

Jon smiled, crinkling his eyes. “Wanna go again?”

Damian laughed. “Sure. I've not even worked up a sweat yet.”

The next time he came to Nanda Parbat he threw down a corpse in front of Damian, face still splattered in blood.

Damian sighed. “Most guys bring flowers.”

“I'm not ‘most guys’”

“Who was he?”

“He criticized your looks so I killed him for you.”

“Jon, I don't care what anyone says about me.”

Jon's eyes flashed red. “I care that he said that. Now he can't say anything like it ever again. What do you think of my technique?”

“Messy, but efficient.”

Jon smiled “Thank you. Do you want to spar?”

“Jon it's 11:38 at night.”

“... Is that a problem?”

“I was sleeping.”

“Oh. Can I join you?”

“Tt. No. Go home.”

Jon pouted. Damian held firm.

“Okay. I'll miss you.”

“Tt. You say such embarrassing things. Goodnight.”

Jon smiled, then quickly leaned in to kiss Damian’s cheek. “Good night, my love.”

Damian slammed the door in his face.

It became somewhat of a pattern for Jon to ambush Damian when he went out on missions, and Damian learned to expect it. Jon was getting faster at killing Damian’s compliment.

“I killed them, so we can be alone!” Jon said cheerfully, gently touching Damian’s cheeks with his bloody fingers and looking at him adoringly.

“Jon. Keep your hands to yourself before I cut them off.” He said, drawing his rune-encrusted sword slightly out of the scabbard.

Jon pouted but removed his hands. “As you wish, my lord. So, what are you out here for today?”

“I was planning on retrieving a magical relic from a temple to the east of here, until you showed up. You’re like a gnat.”

“I can get it for you!”

“Tt, I’m sure you can’t, there are magical booby traps.”

Jon pouted. “I want to do this for you. Please?”

“Jon, I am certain that if you were deathly injured my mother would not permit me to put your body in the lazarus pit.”

“Not even if I died saving your life?”

“Likely not. I shouldn't even be talking to you, you are the enemy.”

Jon grinned. “I guess we both like to do whatever we want.”

“It is human nature to desire freedom.”

“Well yeah but I'm not human.”

“You are as human as you are kryptonian. I wonder, did your father have the same disregard for your mother as with the rest of humanity?”

“I dunno. I was cloned from her dead body and my dad. I never saw them interact. But I know he loved her, and I know he misses her. He's told me it's the only reason he puts up with me.”

“It does not sound like you are very close.”

“We aren't. But he's the only other kryptonian other than Kara Zor-el so y'know, he's important. Not as important as you, of course, but he was previously the most important person in my life.”

“We're here. Don't follow me.”

Jon floated after him. “But I wanna keep you safe! Let me carry you.”

“No– Jon, put me down!”

Jon grinned and flew Damian in. “What's it look like? I can look through the walls for you.”

“Unneeded, I have a map.”

Jon swiped the map from him and read it. “I have a great sense of direction, don't worry.”

“You are infuriating.”

“We cause strong emotions in each other~ how lovely. Okay, hold tight.”

Jon flew quickly down the halls, before being knocked into the wall by a magical hammer. Damian rolled off of him as Jon groaned in pain. “You idiot. Where are we?”

Jon grunted and pointed to their location on the map.

“I can’t even cast a healing spell on you as I have no idea how it will effect you.”

“Don't worry… I have super healing… so the side that hit the wall will be fine. The wall isn't magic, right?”

Damian checked. “Luckily for you, it is regular stone.”

Jon grinned. “Help me up? I wanna help you finish this.”

“It's a bad idea. We need to get you out of here.”

Jon shook his head. “I'm not going. I'll be right behind you. You can handle the magic traps, and I can fly in front of an arrow for you or something.”

“And what if it's a magical arrow?”

“I'll die for you. Did I not mention that?”

“Tt. You're dangerous to have around. But if you're not leaving…” Damian got out a rope and tied them together by their waists with a length of rope in between them. “Stick close to me.”

Jon floated to his feet. “Mkay. Let's go!”

Damian sighed and pulled along a floating Jon. He disabled the traps as they went until they reached the chamber with the artifact. Damian picked it up and the room shook with a deep voice.

“To get out of trouble, face your double. Return the staff to the rack and it will end the attack.”

Smoke billowed out of the air vents and coalesced into shadow versions of Jon and Damian. Damian sighed and took out his katana.

Jon and Damian fought back to back as their shadow versions worked independently. Damian took out his double and Jon defeated his own. The smoke dissipated and Jon cheered.

“We did it! That was awesome! They didn’t stand a chance against our teamwork! Imagine if you came in here with your whole squad! That would have been so much chaos, I really did you a favor by killing them.”

Damian growled and pressed his sword to Jon’s throat, backing him up against the wall. “No. Killing.”

“Mhn, so it's fine if you kill me but not if I kill your squad, who as we've previously established can come back to life whereas I will not?”

“I will kill you if I have to.”

“I would expect nothing less, my prince.” Jon smiled slightly. “So this is what you look like when you're angry. I love the intensity in your eyes.”

Damian narrowed his eyes. “Are you really trying to de-escalate the situation by flirting?”

Jon shook his head as much as he could. “Just saying what I think, my lord. And I think you look beautiful.”

Damian sighed and withdrew his blade. “You're an idiot.”

Jon smiled cheerily and let Damian drag him along by the rope still attached to his waist. Damian escorted Jon back to the entrance of the temple and cut the rope. “You need to stop killing my team every time I leave the palace. It makes me look incompetent.”

“Do you get in trouble?”

“Not exactly, no–”

“Then it's fine!”

Damian pinched the bridge of his nose. “Listen to me carefully. I am telling you that I want you to stop killing my team. Did you not say that I deserve to get what I want?”

“You're turning my words against me! I just want to be with you. Your assassins would never allow it. If I don't defeat them, I'll die.” Jon whined.

“Then learn non-lethal techniques of taking people down. Practice on those criminals or whatever.”

“You want me to… not kill a criminal?”

“Yes.”

“I can try… can I still be violent?”

“I would appreciate it if you did not scar my team too badly. But outside of that, you can be as brutal as you like as long as they do not die.”

“Okay. I will practice not killing and come back to you. Farewell, my prince.”

“Farewell, lord Jonathan.” Damian said as Jon lifted off into the sky, the cut rope rippling in the wind with his cape.

Jon stormed through the palace towards Damian, knocking people out of the way like flies. “Prince Damian! I came back, as I said I would.”

“Yes, I can see that. Are you here to kill more of my people? You know I cannot allow that, Lord Jonathan.”

Jon cocked his head. “Why would I do that? I don’t care about humans.”

Damian quirked a brow. “I am human.”

“You’re better than everyone else, though.”

“Is that so?”

Jon giggled. “Yeah, I think you could even kill me if you tried. That’s so hot. Look at you, not attacking me right now… so romantic...” Jon sighed.

Damian tutted. “I’m beginning to regret that.”

Jon giggled. “Some days I think I love you so much I'd just let you. Would you like me to do that? Or would you want a fight?” He came closer.

“What kind of question is that?”

“A genuine one. Oh… If I tried to kill you, I hope you’d try to kill me too… maybe we could die at the same time. If I am going to die, I want it to be by your hand. And no one else deserves to take your life away but me, and only if you asked me to.” He giggled, twirling his hair. “I really like having you around, so you would have to convince me first, or else I wouldn’t even let you kill yourself.” Jon hummed. “But I don’t see you convincing me that this world is so terrible as to deserve to be ridden of such beauty.” He stroked Damian’s cheek with a gloved hand, and Damian smacked it away. Jon sighed. “I love you.”

“You don’t know what love means. Your father never showed you.”

“I don’t? Well then, you’ll have to teach me. No one else will do.”

Damian tutted, before sighing as if greatly put upon and offering his ring for Jon to kiss. He did so gladly, kneeling at his feet.

“My prince.” Jon held Damian’s hand by the wrist and turned it over so he could nuzzle into his palm. Damian allowed it. Jon locked his violet eyes on Damian’s emerald ones. He kissed his fingertips one by one.

“You are so devoted to me. It’s perplexing.”

Jon kissed his wrist. “It’s simple; the whole earth should bow to you. You are perfection. Every moment you spend with me is pure gold; my greatest treasures.Or maybe it is that I can take anything in the world that I want, except for you. You are the only thing I could ever rightfully earn. The only goal worth pursuing. Everything was meaningless and dull until I met you, my Prince.”

Damian cupped his cheek. “And what if you got me? What then? Do you truly believe that to be love?”

“I would work to keep you and to serve you, to make you happy.” He smiled. “To annoy you, to pester you, to laugh with you, to see you cry. To hold you. To learn everything there is to know about you until you’ve changed so much that I have to learn you all over again.” He sniffed Damian’s wrist, at the cologne there, and deeper at all the smells that made up Damian. “Intoxicating.” Jon puffed out a laugh. “I don’t know what love is supposed to be like. Have I got it wrong? Do you think it matters? I ask out of curiosity, ‘cause even if it were really something completely morally unacceptable to you, I wouldn't care. It feels better than anything ever has. It’s what I live for.”

Damian’s lips parted in surprise. He schooled his features to ask his next question. “How many people have you killed since I last saw you?”

“None.” Jon smiled. “I’m learning, see? I can do better. I must be of some use to you, haven’t I?”

Damian got a strange look in his eye just then, and Jon became excited at the prospect of learning that expression. “Get up.”

Jon wilted. “Have I offended you, my Prince?”

Damian shook his head. “Stand up. Don’t. Float.”

Jon bowed his head obediently and stood up. Damian stepped close and put his hand on Jon’s shoulder, pulling him down into a slow and gentle kiss. Jon did not know his heart could race so fast. Damian pulled away with an unreadable look in his eye. “Alright, Jon. I accept. I will teach you how to love.”

Jon beamed. “Oh, this is so much better than murder.” He whispered.

Damian smirked. “It is, isn’t it? A lot of things are.” Damian took his hand off of Jon’s shoulder and put both behind his own back.

“Could you excuse me for just one moment? I feel the urge to go fly.”

Damian nodded, and Jon flew off, laughing brightly like a child.

Jon returned a moment later. “I love you! It feels so triumphant!” Jon gasped. “Does this mean we are dating? Boyfriends?!”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but yes. My mother will not be pleased.”

“I can kill her for you, if you wan’t.”

Damian glared at him. “No. No Killing.”

Jon looked at him for a long time. “Okay… Okay. But if someone tries to kill you, I won’t spare them. Even if you get mad at me. Even if you don’t believe my explanation. Even if you can take care of yourself. I promise, I won’t let you die.”

Damian scowled. “Just…kiss me, you idiot.”

Jon flew to his side in an instant, but was much more apprehensive about actually kissing him, so Damian grabbed his head and dragged their mouths together. Jon purred and pulled him closer. Damian nibbled on Jon’s bottom lip and he gasped. “Damian!”

“Yes?”

“You’ve done this before! And I can’t kill whoever you did it with!”

“You don’t have worry, they are already dead.”

“Woah, do you kill people instead of breaking up with them?”

“Tt, no. They betrayed me. I made an example of them.”

“Wow, I can’t imagine killing you if you betrayed me.”

“Hm. I can’t say it was pleasant, but— we are supposed to be kissing right now, Jonathan.” He pulled him in for a few more smooches.

“Is this part of learning how to love?” Jon asked dazedly.

“No, this is for me. I’m just glad I found a way to shut you up.”

“Dami! That’s–” More kissing. “That’s mean. I love it when you’re mean to me.”

They had their arms wrapped around each other by now. Damian rubbed between Jon’s shoulder blades. “You really shouldn’t.”

“Nobody is ever mean to me but you! How could I not like it? I love when you give me attention.”

“To have everyone afraid of you, your whole life… Let’s change that, hm? You are terrifying in the way that you move, talk, smile, laugh, and behave… But we should be able to change at least two of those.”

“Am I so scary, even to you?”

“No, not to me. You’re even… cute.”

“Isn’t that a bad thing?”

Damian furrowed his brow. “No, why would it be?”

“My father always told me to stop acting so cute, that it was distracting.”

“Everything about you is distracting. You’re currently distracting me from my work. I didn’t think you cared.”

Jon smiled. “You’re right, I don’t. And like I said, you can be mean to me, as long as you don’t ignore me. Well, even if you tried to ignore me, I’d cover your eyes until you had to acknowledge me. Or… maybe I could bite you, like Krypto used to do when I was little and I’d ignore him. Hm… come to think of it, you did just say I was distracting, I’m sure there are lots of ways I could get your attention. I like being distracting.”

Damian arched a brow. “Surely you’ll allow me to get my work done.”

“Well, that’s not ignoring me ‘cause you’re mad! So it’s fine. I can just watch you.”

“Do you watch me when you leave?”

Jon nodded. “And I strain my ears to listen. I love the sound of your voice, my prince.”

“Oh Jonathan, your life cannot only be me. I want you to stay in the palace so I can show you other things you might find meaningful.”

“Like what?”

“Friendship, learning to cook, making art. Things that are worthwhile because of the struggle. I think you will enjoy pottery.”

“What's so interesting about making pots? Plenty of people can do that.”

“They can do it because they put in the work, and they are better than you at it. Don't you want to impress me with an excellent piece of pottery?”

“You would like it if I gave you something I made?”

“Jon, the only person who can make the art that you would make is you. If you do not make it, it will never be known. You can give me something no one else can.”

“Who cares? Everyone will say they love it so I don't singe their eyebrows off…”

Damian arched a brow. “I won't.”

Jon blushed and smiled at Damian. “That's right, you're not afraid to tell me what you think. You're my equal.”

“I may even decide to encourage you with kisses.”

Jon rumbled a purr. “I love you. I'm going to make you the best pot ever.”

Damian kissed him again. “Good. I eagerly await it.”

#jondami #damijon #super lords #superlords au #superlords #supersons #super sons #damian wayne #damian al ghul wayne #jon kent #Jonathan Kent #ask answered #anon ask #fanfic #my fanfic #jon el #damian al ghul

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benevolentbirdgal · 1 year

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Is it appropriate for non-jewish authors/designers to take inspiration from jewish mythology and writing? I’ve seen a lot of media that does that especially in fantasy.

That's a loaded question, and while I certainly don't Speak For All Jews Everywhere - I am Not The Jewrax, I basically hold that it'd be fine in theory but in practice, it's almost always problematic because few gentiles bother to engage with Jewish perspectives on what they're using.

I'm not 112% sure on what you mean by mythology and writing, nor am I 112% sure what you mean by inspiration, but I'm going to make some educated guesses and invite both you to DM me or ask again and other Jews to float other possibilities.

I'm imagining you mean something to the impact of the use of Jewish folklore, theology, and stories in non-Jewish media, like art and literature, so I'm answering in that context. Specifically, I feel like you might be asking about angels and demons, Lillith, and golems, although that is very speculative and just because Those Are The Things Gentiles REALLY Want To Use.

The TL;DR is that I think while in theory, it's fine for gentiles to incorporate elements of Jewishness into their story, in practice they usually screw it up pretty badly if not veering into antisemitic trope-age altogether. There are a few factors that make this the case.

On the one hand, I want to see more representation of Jewish stuff, and not just the same three stereotypes ad nauseam. I legitimately do want more Jewish elements in stories, and I recognize the quantity I want would heavily benefit from, if not outright require, some contribution from the 99.8% of people globally who are not Jewish.

With that said, I think that gentiles tend to fuck up Jewish representations, both from a folklore perspective and a Jews Are People That Exist perspective. It's not some fatal flaw to view other cultures through your own lenses - it's only human, but it is challenging to address and something to be aware of. I see Christianity, Islam, and other religions (and atheism, for that matter) through the view of a Jew who was raised in and lives in a Christian-dominated society. Gentile writers see Judaism through the lenses of their own backgrounds and the backgrounds of their society. For reasons that merit their own post, gentiles tend to forget that Jewishness exists independent of and predating many of their own lenses. For many of the same reasons, many gentiles have no interest in actually consulting Jews or Jewish sources on Jew things - we aren't regarded as minority enough or different enough or whatever to merit research, even among many gentile creators who normally research cultures they are not part of. Without getting into it, a lot of people also A) really can't handle the idea that Some Things Are Just For Jews (like Kabbalah) or accept closed and semi-closed say what they mean on the tin and B) have (at the very least) implicitly supersessionist attitudes in their approach to Judaism - applying other religious and cultural contexts backwards even if they're directly at odds with the original Jewish ones. They learned about Jew Stuff in their Christian, Wiccan, Muslim, Unitarian Universalist, Atheist, etc. spaces, and how those spaces approached Jew Stuff (and the attitudes inherited from those spaces) are prioritized over what the Jews think of their own Stuff. This often results in Jewish "representation" being filtered through the eyes of the dominant culture group (i.e. Christian), even if that's not the intent. This happens a lot with depictions or appropriations of Kabbalah, Lillith, and the Golem - specific cultural and theological biases are superimposed to the detriment of original context and meaning.

If you want to represent or take inspiration from a group, you need to understand that group. It doesn't mean you have to know EVERYTHING (no one does) but it means engaging with and researching the community beyond this One Cool Thing You Liked. The degree to which you do this depends on what you're using, but you want to be able to use stuff without stripping it of its original context.

Writing, mythology, and folklore are broad categories. If you want to use the zayde from Something From Nothing or make Sammy Spider real, that's way less loaded than taking traditional folklore and going Mine Mine Mine a la the birds in Finding Nemo. Good questions to ask when determining if you want to use a thing: is it explicitly closed or semi-closed? Has it been used to cause violence against its community of origin? Is it and its uses considered sacred?

Specific topics that you just shouldn't use because they are closed and/or have been used against Jews to cause us great pain: Lillith, Kabbalah, Golems, anything that implies or uses the blood libel, any kind of Jews-and-horns thing, or anything leaning into antisemitic conspiracy theories. I'd also tread very lightly and get sensitive readers on anything to do with angels and demons, circumcision, and kosher. [above list is def non-exhaustive, other Jews please add stuff]

Also stay away from any "this is the SECRET meaning of this Jewish Thing And The Jews Are Wrong And This Proves My Religion/Conspiracy Theory/Worldview." Even if it does not promote a specific worldview, there's some major ick in saying "no this is what your holiday/beliefs actually mean/imply." Don't Da Vinci Code us, basically.

If you are wanting to write or make something with Jewish elements, consult Jews on the specifics! Seriously, most of us are SO happy to help you workshop.

Again, I do not speak for all Jews, but this is my personal take, and the kind of stuff I've heard a lot of other Jews opine as well.

#jumblr #long posts #jews #I feel like I'm being asked about Lillith or the Golem or MAYBE Dybbuks #answered asks

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lucianalight · 6 months

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Hi! I'm back :) after another long hiatus😅 I have missed all of you❤️

First of all a huge thank you to everyone who were worried and asked about my health and how I was doing. I wasn't doing well tbh. I'm one of those people who had the misfortune of never quite recovering from covid. I already had one chronic illness that was messing up my life and health. Having another on top of that takes a lot of physical, emotional and mental toll and limits my energy greatly. So I needed time to get used to my new reality and condition and learn to how manage it and live with it. It's still a work in progress and doctor appointments are seeming endless but at least some meds are helping. So there's that.

You probably already know the second reason why I wasn't doing well. I've seen terrible things…And you need time to process them. To grieve, to deal with trauma and survivor's guilt, and nurture your anger and keep fighting, keep resisting…

And well, internet connection still sucks so using social media is kind of an ordeal :D

There were a lot of times that I wanted to come back on tumblr but every time some issue would come up and take my motivation and energy. Then two weeks ago, after I couldn't crush the little ray of hope that maybe this time I'm going to see sth I like, I started watching season 2 of Loki. I watched it while promising myself that I'm not going to care anymore if it's bad, reminding myself that I might see sth as bad as season 1. Still I was surprised that I didn't hate it. On the contrary there were moments that were entertaining and even enjoyable. And those moments were more than the ones I dislike. It was better than season 1 and admittedly that's a low bar since I consider S1 one of the worst tv shows I've ever seen, but there were noticeable changes in pace and tone of the narrative and characterization in S2. Some issues in S1 was addressed. Loki was actually the main character of his series and got to do badass magic stuff :D The characters were flesh out and three dimensional and likable(I love OB so much :D). There was no romance. The ending was great.

There were of course things I didn't like. Removing Loki's backstory and his issues with his family from the story is one of them. How some of his moments in past was addressed. The episodes at times got boring or very predictable. There were times that Loki was ooc or comedic moments that weren't delivered well.

It wasn't perfect but at least acceptable. And probably the best Loki content we got since TDW. And I liked the ending a lot. I found myself keep going back to rewatch some scenes. I found myself analyzing the content happily. I had things to say. So here I am :D basically I'm 100% back to my Loki bs and I'm making it everyone's problem :P

Whether you loved the series or hated it, you're welcome on my blog and you're welcome to send me your opinions and engage with me in discussions and metas. I will tag posts accordingly in case you want to avoid certain content(tbh I still don't know what the new tags will be because I haven't written anything yet but I will make a post when I do).

There will be posts of some new fandoms so block their tags if you don't want to see those posts. The new fandoms are Sandman tv show(I haven't finished the comics so plz don't spoil them for me), Wednesday, My Hero Academia, Shadow and Bone, and The Bifrost Incident.

As I mentioned above I'm dealing with multiple chronic illnesses and have a limited energy each day. I will try to answer your messages, comments and asks as soon as I can but it might take a long time. Sry about that.

And finally a warm welcome to all the new followers and thanks to everyone who are still following me❤️

#back from hiatus #because of loki :D #personal #blog maintenance

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onceuponapuffin · 6 days

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Fanatic Intervention Part 6!!

Not much to say here this time. I'm glad you all are enjoying this. I'm having a blast! :D

Beginning || Previous || Next

*****************

After a while you speak.

“Well,” You say, “I can tell you what we’re not doing. We are not going to see Mr. Gaiman. Honestly, Crowley, the man is a genius, but he is also a troll. He doesn’t give away plot – if anything he gives the most chaotic response he can think of, and then tells you to wait and see. SO, that wouldn’t help us at all.”

Muriel is the next to speak.

“Um, also I don’t think those other angels are on earth?”

“Would we know if they were?” You say, looking to Aziraphale. The principality shrugs.

“To be honest, I really don’t know. It was such a long time ago.”

“Okay,” You say, “So we call up Anathema, and we go to America to look for Jesus. I mean...the things that Neil and Terry plotted out did happen, even if they weren’t all identical to the book. So it’s probably safe to assume that the pattern will continue.”

“Right,” Aziraphale says, reaching for his rotary phone, “I’ll call Miss Device.”

“Hold on,” Crowley says, “Who’s this we who’s going to America?”

“You, Aziraphale, Anathema, Me,” You say, “Muriel needs to stay here and look after the bookshop. Maybe Newt could --”

“And what makes you think you’re coming?” The demon presses.

“The fact that I dropped in from another reality, know everything that has happened so far, and is the only one with half an idea of what’s going to happen next. Also Anathema is going to need help wrangling the two of you.”

“Whassat supposed to mean?”

“You’re a pair of Disaster Puppies.”

Crowley opens his mouth again, offended.

“Trouble does seem to find us an awful lot,” Aziraphale says. Clearly he’s decided to give you the benefit of the doubt. You make a mental note that he is not upset with being called a Disaster Puppy for some reason. Priorities maybe?? You let it go.

“Great,” You say, “So it’s settled.”

------------

All things considered, it doesn’t take very long for Anathema and Newt to arrive. Apparently they happened to be visiting London. What are the chances of that? It’s almost like this is a work of fiction that I am writing and so I can make things surprisingly convenient if I want to. Now, let’s continue.

It takes longer to answer Newt’s questions than it does to fill Anathema in on the situation. You’re grateful for her sharp mind and willingness to accept things that are...well...difficult to just accept. Probably comes with being a witch/occultist. Once they both know the full story, and Newt’s curiosities are satisfied, Anathema nods.

“Okay,” she says, “Right. So we need to save the world again, and we’re hinging all of our bets on finding Jesus and successfully convincing him to help us? Seems...like a long shot. Like, a really long shot.”

“These two have managed to succeed with implausible plans before,” You point out. Anathema hums. She doesn’t seem convinced.

“I mean, it’s not that I mind helping you. Jesus probably has the kind of aura that I could find and track without too much trouble. I would just...really have appreciated that if you were going to interrupt our getaway that you would at least have a backup plan. Or, maybe some intel that’s actually intelligence instead of guesses. Like if Aziraphale had actually been in Heaven as the Supreme Archangel, he could have been feeding us information and instructions. And then we would know for sure where to go and what to do.”

Oh. A rock sinks to your stomach. And you suppose that after making them ward the bookshop like that then...needing to leave it...you just might have accidentally put a target on your backs. Whoops. Turns out saving the world one step at a time is really, really hard.

“That would have been way too dangerous though!” You say, desperate for your own defense, “I’m not putting these two in anymore danger than absolutely necessary. I….” You look over at your beloved angel and demon, then turn back to Anathema. “I need them to be okay,” You admit quietly. That’s what it’s all about for us, isn’t it? All the theories, all of the South Down Cottage manifesting. The fanart, the fanfiction, the edits and animatics. We love them and while we understand that they need to go through angsty things to grow, in the end we need them to be okay.

Well, most of us anyway. I can’t speak for everyone.

You feel a hand on your shoulder. Aziraphale is there once again.

“And we will be,” he says softly. You hear Anathema sigh.

“Right,” she says, “okay, so we head to America. I need to go home first and get my supplies. Newt will stay here with Muriel and help them hold the fort.”

“Um...this is a bookshop?” Muriel adds uncertainly.

“I bet,” Newt says slowly, “That if I help a few people around here with their computers, I might make enough mischief to convince Heaven that there’s still a demon around here. Then that looks almost like you’re still here, right? Might buy you some time at least.”

“It’s worth a shot,” Anathema says. Muriel practically glows.

“Oh! I get to live with an actual human! You can teach me human things!”

“Oh, uh yeah,” Newt says, “I don’t see why not. It’ll be fun.”

Anathema agrees to return with Newt in two days. She expects you lot to sort out the plane tickets “Because,” she says, “I am not having you fly me over, or poof me over, or whatever it is that you do.”

“I am a demon! I do not poof!”

“I don’t care. I want plane tickets.”

“Ooh!” You say, raising your arm in the air with a jump. “Can they be first class? I’ve never flown first class before!”

Crowley groans. Aziraphale sighs.

“We are not genies,” Aziraphale says, “Or banking machines.”

“No, but you do have unlimited resources so in a way,” You say, pausing for dramatic effect, a mischievous smile spreading from ear to ear, “You are like Santa Claus!”

You make a fast exit from the room before Aziraphale can say anything. Crowley is laughing and you hear what you think is a chair falling over.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🖤

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lets-try-some-writing · 1 year

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Hi! So this isn’t exactly a request, more or less me just sharing thoughts/rambling. So it’s common knowledge that humans pack bond with damn near anything that they find cute, right? It’s human nature, to just look at a cute delivery robot and go “yeah, this is family now”. And I think this is a double edged sword because that’s what causes things attachment issues and the like.

How do you think team prime would react to something like this happening with the trouble trio? Like the kids eventually (inevitably) look at them and decide that these giant robots are their family and they will NOT let them go. Would the bots be confused? Or would they accept it and move on with minimal questioning. Personally I think that at first it would be awkward until the bots learn of how humans work, and then they realize that this is just how people work, and they accept it with time.

I think it has some really good potential for both fluff and angst.

Anyways I really love the blog! I’ve been reading a lot of your posts and all of them are very nice to go through and think about! :D -🦌 anon

OOooh! I really really like this thought. The human kiddos getting attached and the bots having to figure out how to manage that makes me happy. And thank you anon for your kind words! I am glad you like my posts!

Cybertronian Views on Relationships

Cybertronians are functionally immortal, they do not die from any sort of frame deterioration except in rare cases, and their sparks blaze on until forcefully extinguished. As such their views on some concepts are rather skewed to match up with their long lifespans. Time is one of those things, they simply do not see it the same way as humans. Days are fleeting moments, weeks are little more than a flash to them, years are but months in their view, and vorns are the closest they have to an actual measurement of time that matters. They see everything in a far longer view, planning for centuries into the future more often than not.

Despite the war forcing their views on time to match those of humans more closely, their ideas regarding friendship, family, and other bonds have not changed. Bonds are a sacred thing, they are not made in a day nor do they break easily. It takes years for a sparkling to bond to their Caretaker despite the Caretaker in question doing everything to love and care for them. While other species may find it strange, for Cybertronians it is completely normal since the sparkling does not have any actual relation to them prior to a bond forming. Not only that, but if the sparkling and Caretaker do not match it would be terrible for them to be stuck together when it clearly does not suit either party. They have eternity ahead of them, having a good family is more important than any benefits an immediate bond may bring. Unlike species who reproduce on their own and have an instinctual bond with their offspring for survival reasons, Cybertronians, while still feeling affection for their young counterparts, still need to put in effort to bond with their sparklings.

Friendships take even longer to form, anywhere from vorns to centuries. Cybertronians naturally tend to group together, its part of their code, a way to ensure they survive. And so they can easily be amicable with one another, but a proper friendship does not form until two bots can safely determine that the other is a good match for them. This can happen rather quickly if both save each other or prove through action that they are a suitable partner in a survival situation, forming a bond of necessity. This was common during the war and allowed the Autobots and Decepticons to form bonds fast enough to actually have a sense of comradery. But when not forced due to stress or other factors, friendships form through shared ideals, functions, or simply a harmonization of sparks. Take Ratchet and Optimus's relationship for example. Both were from wildly different castes and functions, neither having particularly close ideals outside of their wish for freedom for all, but with time they formed their bond.

Romantic relationships are not really a concept that Cybertronians are familiar with, at least not in the sense that organics are used to. They have no sexual drive since they do not reproduce through intercourse or other methods involving the union of two individuals. The closest thing Cybertronians have to a romantic relationship is an evolution of an Amica bond (the bond that forms between close friends), that being Conjunx Endura. Even then it isn't really a marriage, more like a shared habitation where both bots trust the other with their lives and to make decisions in their stead. They may be more affectionate with their Conjunx than with their Amica or other friends, but ultimately the bond is like the highest form of companionship instead of a marriage. Simply put, Cybertronians just have a different view on relationships as a whole.

As such when the children walked into their lives, it was rather awkward for a while due to the differing views of the bots when it comes to bonds. Especially with PDA and such not really being something Cybertronians do for various reasons.

The Children's Attachment

When the children became the Autobot's charges, they expected very little to change beyond the chaos that was guaranteed to come from human sparklings running about. At most they were prepared to have stress induced friendship bonds form between themselves and the children. Even though Optimus was near desperate to coddle the human sparklings he kept himself controlled as always and life went on as normal. That was until the children began getting all touchy feely, behaving in a manner around the bots that was reserved for Amica bonded or Caretakers and their sparklings on Cybertron.

It started with Miko. Her family life was less than stellar and so she quickly took a liking to Bulkhead who came to be an older brother/fatherly figure for her. She started hanging around him more than any of the other bots, and that was fine, in fact it was a normal starting point for any set of bots looking to possibly develop a friendship. Bulkhead didn't mind and the team didn't bat an optic, it made sense for Miko to begin attempting to bond with her guardian if only to make their time together more tolerable. But then she started getting all affectionate with Bulkhead, dragging him out to do things with her, giving him gifts, and even giving him the odd kiss on the cheek. And that baffled the entire team, not just Bulkhead who could only stand around in confusion and embarrassment from the mixed signals he was getting. Did Miko want an Amica bond? Was she trying to tell Bulkhead she wanted him as her Caretaker? Or was there some strange human nuances he was missing?

It was odd, but the team tried to chalk it up to Miko being Miko, that was until Rafael got in on it. He started purposefully checking in on Bumblebee, becoming a bit of a mother hen while also spending nearly all of his free time with the scout. This was once again seen as pretty normal for Cybertronians looking to bond, after all, it made sense for Rafael to want to spend time with Bee to see if he was a good match. But just like with Miko, he started getting more intimate, joking and playing around with Bee in a manner reserved for close friends or even Amica bonded. He carefully made stickers for Bumblebee to wear on his armor and went out of his way to try and find a way to fix Bumblebee's voice when nothing else was on the agenda. It was odd behavior and once again, sent very mixed signals. It certainly didn't help when Rafael began mimicking Ratchet and following him around, much like a sparkling would with a potential Caretaker.

Eventually even Jack started becoming far more affectionate than what the bots were used to and expecting. He worried for Arcee, fixing up her paint for her and playfully teasing her in fun banter. He gave her small gifts and took the time to teach her things about human society. This only served to drive home to the bots just how odd the human children were and made them begin to panic slightly due to the incredibly mixed signals. Arcee couldn't figure out what the heck Jack was trying to do with his interactions. Did he see her as a potential Caretaker? If so, why was he teaching her things? Did he want an Amica bond? But if that was the case, why was he allowing her to take care of him as she would a youngling? Not even Optimus was exempt from the children's confusing affection. All three of the children also made sure to offer him some love too, giving him little gifts in the form of small trinkets and constantly pestering him to play/assist them in something. It warmed his spark, but also left him just as confused as the rest of the team.

Of course it never occurred to the team to just ask what the children wanted outright because why would they? They were millennia old, they were pretty sure they understood what the children were asking of them with their actions. Hence began the team's very dysfunctional attempt to try and match whatever they believed the children wanted of them. It was awkward and felt rushed to most of the team, but they did try their best. And upon doing some additional research they came to understand somewhat the driving force behind the children's behavior. Apparently humans are pack type species and rapidly form and break bonds as a means to survive with their short lifespans. Hence their (not so sudden) sudden affection in the optics of the bots. So despite their own reservations and the blatant disregard for the normal order of things on the children's part, the team did their best to bond in whatever capacity the children seemed to want.

Bulkhead did his best to try and respond to Miko's affection with a more fatherly approach. He tested the waters carefully, doing his best to not pressure or overstep while still attempting to take on a parental role in her life. When he found no objection from Miko in response to his minor worrying and slightly more authoritative tone with her, he pushed things up a notch, feeling pretty confident in his choice to try and become her secondary Caretaker since her parents weren't available. When Wheeljack arrived and was met with similar levels of affection from Miko, he took one look at Bulkhead and followed his lead. In the end Miko did not realize it, but she gained two very very overprotective fathers. With Bulkhead being the more reasonable one, constantly checking on her to make sure she does her work and fuels properly and Wheeljack adding a little bit of chaos while also being the one to dole out punishments when needed. It has never been anything worse than having to stand in the corner or sit up in the rafters with no way down without help, but still Bulkhead frets.

Bumblebee took Rafael's concern and more understanding approach to mean that he was working toward trying to gain an Amica bond with him. It was surprising, and since he had never been presented with such a situation before, Bumblebee went to Optimus for advice on the subject. And so soon after Bumblebee took to doing what a good potential Amica should do according to Optimus, that being trying to understand and connect to his possible best friend. He took the time to listen, learn, and discover everything he could about Rafael without being a creep and digging through his files (that would break the rules, a good Amica doesn't do that). He spent as much time as possible with Rafael, having discussions and trying to bring them closer. And in the end, Rafael, much like Miko, had no idea when he gained himself a similarly very very overprotective brother and friend. No one touched Rafael without Bee being there to drive them into the ground before they could so much as lift a finger. Rafael was his friend, his potential Amica, no one was allowed to harm him so long as Bumblebee lived.

Ratchet saw Rafael's mimicry and overall interest in him as an obvious cry for a Caretaker, and so believing himself incapable of being incorrect on that front, did not even hesitate to begin the bonding process. When Rafael wasn't with Bumblebee, Ratchet took him and carried him around in one of his servos or on his shoulder, taking the time to answer all of his questions. Ratchet would check Rafael regularly and sing on a pitch too low for human ears but most certainly meant to calm a sparkling. He would also carefully listen to everything Rafael said to him, taking note of anything that could be bothering his little one. Anything at all that upset Rafael was tended to by Ratchet. A wound? Ratchet would tenderly put a band-aid on it and give Rafael a little treat he had June buy for him. Trouble at home? Ratchet was always there to listen and quietly coo at his small human sparkling, reminding him that he is loved. In the end Rafael got himself a highly devoted Caretaker, willing to do just about anything for him even if the medic in question refuses to acknowledge it.

Arcee took a lot longer than the rest of the team to figure out what the pit Jack wanted from her. He treated her like an equal, bantering and playing but still looked to her for care. And that confused her to the point of leading her to also go to Optimus for consultation. His advice was to try taking on a more motherly role and see how Jack felt about it. And so trusting her Prime, she did as advised, and surprise surprise, Jack didn't seem at all concerned if a little irritated at times. Seeing this Arcee rapidly took on the role of a secondary Caretaker for Jack. While he had his mother, he did not have a father, someone to protect him. So Arcee stepped up, becoming a more masculine parental figure for him, teaching him the things a father normally would have to the best of her ability. She even went so far as to look up things like how to tie a tie and how to change a car tire just for Jack since no one else was going to teach him any time soon. Of course she still mostly kept to a more feminine role when it came to Jack's care, but when required she took up the mantle his father left behind. And just like Miko and Rafael, he had no clue when he ultimately gained himself a doting parent ready to murder and hide the bodies of his enemies for him.

As for Optimus? He was perfectly content to take on the role his position as Prime offered him. On Cybertron, while sparkling had primary and secondary Caretakers to handle a majority of their needs and education, there was always a more communal effort involved. In small select groups like Optimus's team on earth, there was always a head to the clan that formed. There was always a protector and elder guide for all the young bots under their care. And in the team's case, that was Optimus, that with him being the Prime and old as dirt, being bested only by Ratchet in age. And so in light of this and his own desire to care for sparklings, human as they might be, Optimus took on the role of the clan guardian. He taught the children whenever there was time, teaching them important life lessons through simple tales and stories. He regurally sat them on his shoulders and sang to them songs of Cybertron and the history of all that his people held dear. He told them the history of the Cybertronian people, taking care to ensure the children learned well and grew up strong as a Prime should. And on top of that, he often made the children small gifts in return for their own, ranging from talismans to interesting objects he found on patrol.

In the end, the team bonded to the children, their attachment being far greater than anything the human children could have even conceived with the sacred status associated with bonds. As such, any and all attempts to touch the children by MECH, the Decepticons, or anyone else was met with immediate and sharp retribution, even being detrimental at times.

Bonds

Bonds are sacred, they mean everything to Cybertronians. When they form, they are often for life, never to be broken save for the most brutal of betrayals. The children did not understand this in large part due to the culture difference. As such when the bots began growing more aggressive and less content with things going on in the children's lives, they could not comprehend why.

Every single time Jack's bully turned up to harass him, Arcee had to struggle to keep herself from pommeling the brat. Jack was her boy, he was so kind and loving, he did not deserve to hear the slag coming out of the mouths of his peers. Bumblebee often found himself growing paranoid whenever Rafael was away from base for more than a day or two, wondering if something had happened to his potential Amica. He paced, concerned beyond words that something had happened, or worse yet, that Rafael had found him unsuitable for an Amica bond. And any time some kid tried to bother Rafael while Bumblebee was there waiting very nearly ended in bloodshed if not for the constant fear of discovery looming over his helm. Bulkhead and Wheeljack had many many profane words in store for Miko's foster and biological parents. How dare they leave the lovely girl alone! How dare they never give her any affection! Miko's quiet cries in the dead of night where she called out for her parents always tore Bulkhead and Wheeljack's sparks to shreds. They wanted nothing more than to comfort her, but instead all they could do was shower her in affection later as they knew interacting with her in that state would do no good.

Ratchet regularly contemplated just straight up kidnapping Rafael after he took a closer look at his home life and saw just how little his parents cared for him. Did they not know that sparklings were a rare and wonderful gift? Downright disgusting in his book. And when it came to a Con touching Rafael, Ratchet's normally calm demeanor went flying out the window, nearly leading him to kill a few Vehicons in rage. No one touched his sparkling. Optimus was not any better. If any of his little ones were touched, grown (Bumblebee) or otherwise (the children), he would not hesitate to destroy the perpetrator, primely duties be slagged. And much like Ratchet he tended to consider the possibility of up and adopting (stealing) the children, perhaps even finding a way to get them proper Cybertronian frames. His little ones needed to live long lives after all, Optimus would not stand for anything else.

Knowing all this, MECH really shouldn't have expected anything aside from an outright slaughter when they took the children. Even Autobots have breaking points..

#maccadam #transformers prime #transformers #optimus prime #ratchet #arcee #bulkhead #bumblebee #rafael esquivel #jack darby #miko nakadai #cute family feels #cybertronian culture #this was a long one #but goodness I cannot get the idea of the bots just losing it out of my head #touch their little ones and say your prayers cuz you about to meet your deity

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