Canary (Life Series)
(Regarding Jimmy waking up in Last Life, and discovering he has been changed. I have a lot of thoughts about Canary!Jimmy and tried to compile them all! This has sat in my drafts for a while and I've decided to just post it instead of nitpicking it any further lol. Enjoy!)
CW: Death mentions, dehumanizing, deprecating thoughts, minor body horror
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Jimmy didn't move for a long time after he first spawned in.
He felt them there. Wings. Hanging off his shoulders with just as much weight as his other limbs. Even when trying not to move, he would sometimes twitch as a human body does (he's human, he's always been human, and he always will be, he HAS to be, right?), and the wings would move too.
It settled an icy dread deep in his chest, to know he'd been changed like this. Against his will. It was so minor, but the mere fact that it happened paralyzed him to the core. What if this was just the beginning?
(What else would happen to him?)
Eventually, he got tired and cramped from his position, and he reasoned he didn't have time for a crisis right now. He could feel that there was something different in this world, although waking up with no memory as to how he arrived was also a pretty good indicator. He was in a death game. Again.
Well, the W--no, don't talk about them. They love it when they're brought up in conversation, and their attention is never a good thing to have.
Anyway, the...game makers tended to throw a handful of players in, so Jimmy at least knew he was not alone.
He set off to search for others. And, for a while, it was as normal as a death game could be, with a few twists of course. They always felt the need to shake things up.
But, Jimmy made friends, and was soon setting up shop as a member of the Southlands.
He turned his back on Grian to harvest some wood, and his friend froze. "Tim...you've got wings."
"Yeah, I gathered that." Jimmy replied with as much neutrality as he could muster. "I can't fly, though, I tried."
He didn't know what he expected, really. If Grian couldn't fly, with wings as grand as he had, why would Jimmy be able to?
(Good for nothing, as usual, isn't it just hilarious?)
"Are they at least colorful?" Jimmy asked, attempting to stay upbeat. "I can't see them, obviously."
Jimmy's wings were so small that even when he figured out how to move them, he couldn't see them, even when he stretched as hard as he could and nearly broke his own neck craning around for a look.
Grian looked constipated, like he didn't know what to say.
"They're yellow." He finally said. Jimmy nodded thoughtfully. "Fits the color scheme, at least--"
"They're canary wings, Jimmy." Grian interrupted, his tone akin to what it would be when telling somebody terrible news.
Jimmy stared blankly. "Okay? What does that mean?"
Grian looked at him for a long time, his mouth pressed into a thin line, until he finally shrugged and turned away. "Doesn't matter."
And just like that, they were back to normal, making "aha" puns while building up the Southlands base. Jimmy wanted to believe in the peace and the laughter that he knew was precious, so he didn't let his mind linger on their conversation.
He noticed Grian avoided looking him in the eyes from then on, though.
It was only later, when they were on their red lives and Grian's blade ran him through the back, that Jimmy couldn't avoid his thoughts anymore and he finally put together what his friend had been so odd about.
Jimmy was the first to die. Again. As if he was an omen that death was coming for the rest of them, a canary going silent in the coal mine that was this twisted game.
Of course. It was a cruel joke that Jimmy was the butt of. He didn't know what he expected.
The worst part was that the wings stayed when he woke up again.
This game was different, as they all were. This time, he had a Soulmate, who he met through death.
It really couldn't get any more poetic than that. Jimmy knew that the Watchers just loved it. It made his stomach clench with a bitter anger.
But he couldn't be mad at Tango. It wasn't his fault that a creeper dropped on his head. Just like it wasn't Jimmy's fault that he was going to die first.
He still felt crushing guilt at the fact that he took Tango with him.
If Jimmy was the Watchers' new joke, fine. But attaching him to someone else just to have them die too was infuriatingly unfair.
He was relieved when the next game was different. Nobody was bound to him, or his fate. Everybody was on an even field; 24 hours to live.
Going through the motions was easy. Set up camp, get food squared away, find a beginning alliance. This time, it was Grian and Joel.
They decided to call themselves the Bad Boys, and Jimmy kept his wings firmly tucked inside his matching leather jacket.
(Out of sight, out of mind.)
As the sun set on their first night, Jimmy stared at the stars from atop the smouldering mansion, squished between his allies in beds pressed so close together that they might as well be one.
Maybe this time would be different. Maybe the fourth time would be the charm, and next time Jimmy would wake up without the canary wings that sealed his fate from the start.
He'd always been one for hoping.
END.
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