#i don’t know. but i need to figure out smth

[willowfey]

it’s so unfair to just Wake Up with an anxiety bellyache. like nothing even HAPPENED yet

#why does this keep happening why have i felt so awful lately #like i know realistically it’s probably that i’ve been sick so i’ve been on the couch for over a week haven’t gone outside #haven’t put on real clothes haven’t cooked myself haven’t done anything #but when i think about it to myself i don’t wanna do anything. bc i don’t have the energy bc i don’t feel good physically or mentally #and i have SO much that i Need to do that thinking about what i Want to do seems irrelevant #but also i’m desperately trying to figure out what i want to do. what i can do to push this sludge away #and then on top of daily shit i have the ever present looming anxiety of getting older #and just the constant fear and anxiety that i have now that smth terrible will happen to someone i love so i’m just worried all the time #and i know it’s not a healthy way to live but i don’t know how to get out of it so i’m always just distracting myself #when all i want. all i rly desperately want. is to live slow and happy like when i was a kid #all i want is to walk barefoot and bake and climb trees and feel like i have time. is it even possible to get back to that? #how do i do it? where do i start? is it completely impossible until i move? #i don’t know. but i need to figure out smth #and i’m sick of waking up anxious when nothing has even happened

[chimerahyperfix]

You’re looking for something— no, someone, too, aren’t you?

(I can’t comprehend how you understand what’s going on, with your lifeless shell. Craft as you are.)

#isat #in stars and time #live a live #isat loop #cube live a live #RAHHHHHH [COMBINES MY FIXATIONS] #behold my crack fic au. tiny robot in dormont #I’m cooking let me cook. cube has the little guy little dude vibes #and is also canonically like. a baby? #their chapter in the game happens the day they were finished #so. a baby. #cube is so <3. their chapter is a space horror #I would 100% recommend at least watching a video of it #IT GOES CRAZYYYYYY #pov flicking a card that says die child die at the floor. so #anyways. this au makes no sense to anyone but me #this is MY funny house and I’m going to play in it #worlds smartest baby [a robot] figures out timeloop shit before the party more at 2 #if you ask I WILL ramble abt the concept of this au I will #<- trying desperately to get away from working on my other au post #[I need to draw smth for it and I’m struggling lollll] #sitting here like ughhh I don’t wanna draw this imageee [puts off entire au post] #ANYWAYSSSS #LOOP WOULD HATE THIS KID. the fuck is a robot. #the fuck is this damn thing and how has it read me literally immediately #how dare you be made of craft. be artificial. and be able to read my despair like a book #how dare you; a fake being made by someone else. be more human to me than the people that once were my party #how dare you want to help me when I dont know you because you didn’t EXIST in my loops #…but. uh. thanks for the coffee. even if I can’t drink it I recognize the sentiment. or whatever #falls to the floor dramatically. oughhhh loop and cube ougughhh

[sanchoyo]

haven’t been on much bc my dog has been sick :( between seizures and an infected tooth we’ve been having a Time trying to get everything fixed (this started around the holidays so our vet has been very booked up…we have been like 3-4 times in the past 4-5 weeks OTL does not help it’s like an hour drive there, so that’s been exhausting) now his new seizure meds are making him sick (was hoping it was like, just an adjustment period thing but he’s been sick for a week and having concerning symptoms…) if I’m not on a ton or slow to replying to messages it’s bc I’m working as much overtime as my job will give me bc Vet Expensive and mentally drained obvi 😞

#it makes me a lil mad his meds were kinda pricy and they literally are making things worse. like sure he isn’t have seizures but he can #barely walk and keeps running into things and keeps having diarrhea so like. 🙃 and the meds are making him sooo hungry and thirsty #I’m seeing the vet AGAIN FRIDAY I know she’s so sick of me but man my little guy. if she can’t figure out a combo that doesn’t have such #bad side effects I’m literally going to scream and cry #he’s the most sensitive boy in the world and my mental health hangs on his and my cats well being. please. 😭 #sanchoyorambles #I’ve also called them like twice to find out if I should stop or what they want me to do and keep getting ‘oh they’ll call u back’ WHEN #GIRL MY PUBBY #if I don’t hear back before his next dose I’m just gonna make an executive decision myself to stop them for now #he’s literally on the smallest possible dose too bc he’s so little. so. they can’t go down in dosage they’ll need to put him on smth else 😑 #which means paying for ANOTHER PRESCRIPTION A WEEK AFTER ALREASY GETTING ONE THAT WAS $30 ON TOP OF HIS STUPID VET BILL #screaming. #and like if I have the money it’s fine. and it’s not like the vet could’ve known he’d have bad side effects #im just frustrated it’s no one’s fault #I could go to a closer vet. the thing is I LIKE the one further away #they have the only groomer I’ve found that can trim him without sedating him! they send me reminders abt his shots! I like the vibes!!! #they seem caring!! but they are always SOOO BUSY it takes forever to make appointments or to hear back from them 😭 #remember how I said one of my goals was to buy a vechicle this year lmao the vet bills are draining any savings I’ve managed to build up 🤧 #my pets are priority 1 tho like even before all the medical stuff /I/ need like lol… that’s my baby #it’s just really bad timing. not that there’s good timing for medical issues but. u know

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

ik i said commissions would be open like yesterday or today or smth but actually i’m very busy being healed and simultaneously ruined by winter break. so. maybe a day or two more until i open them

#i have most of the comm sheet figured out but i realized i need to start over bc i’m no longer vibing w how i designed it. sigh #whatever #i’ll just make a boring one or smth #and oops i just realized i have a bunch of unanswered asks #u know i have a bunch of stuff to do but tbh i don’t care to do anything rn #ugh. winter is getting to me #that’s annoying #they should make it so u can not be tired all the time and also have the motivation to do things that u need to do #they should also make it so u never have to do anything ever #they should also send me away to the sea for my health bc i don’t remember what the sea looks like and also i want to wear a nightgown #and weakly call for someone to read a book to me while i waste away in a large canopy bed #i think i’d do well to play the role of a sick woman sent away to the sea to regain her health #i would also do well in the role of a mad scientist holding a beaker of glowing green liquid but that’s neither here nor there

[iwantyoursexmp3]

hyperfixating on a character who i don’t know as specifically as my other usual hyperfixation ocs is so funny there’s a guy in my head 24/7 atm but i don’t know him like that and im just like ummmmmm so what do you usually do at bedtime. do you like music? yeah i also like music.

#thing with Bobby is because of the sensitive nature of his arc I’ve always tried to develop him as a main character #because I never wanted to understand his illness and death from the context of someone else #also I don’t really believe in side or minor characters just characters who happen to not be the pov voice. anyway #so yeah Bobby has always been on the same level as felix and dorothy and beau for me despite not being a protagonist #which helped me quickly understand a lot of specifics about him beyond his illness and death #his character had always been very vibrant but bc I only recently solidified a project where he’s a protagonist #(always wanted to write smth in his pov but finally just figured out what it should look like) #I’m only now starting to fill in the gaps in between but it kinda feels like when you’re alone with a friend of a friend for the first time #and like you get along but don’t know each other well enough to carry a conversation yet LOL #like i need beau to help me out but he’s not here bc it’s not about him #I’m like okayyyyy so what do you do when you’re bored? and it’s like I don’t fucking know #does this even make sense my autism is very. specific I think #BOBBY I WILL AUTISTICALLY MAKE YOU ANOTHER BEST FRIEND IN MY HEAD

[the-faultofdaedalus]

i’ve reached terminal level brainrot w/ leverage and that is the “insert remortal tony into a plot even if it makes no sense”

#first i was like. ok let him get shot by a mark that would be fun #(he’s not in on it he’s just Here and intervenes re: bullet) #but then i remembered hardison’s fancy EMP gun #and now i’m thinking that they should be stalling him for some reason #mark is a rival company. tony’s on his way there. they need the mark to think tony’s backed out of smth #i don’t know or care why #but like. he gets in his car and hardison pulls the trigger like no car no go #and tony almost IMMIEDIETLY keels over #everyone in the van at the scene starts freaking out (i think it’s parker eliot hardison. for reasons) #and nate just asks. hey hardison. what would happen if you pointed that thing at someone with a pacemaker #AND WELL YEAH ABOUT THAT #hardison is very upset. he didn’t mean to do this! it was an accident! he doesn’t want to be a murderer #they all try to help but by the time they even get across the parking garage it’s too late #anyways eliot takes him into the van bc they need to figure out what to DO about this #while nate and sophie continue with the con #they can’t just drop it. too suspicious. no one wants hardison to go down for murder but!!! tony is dead! hardison did do it! it’s a mess!! #if they’re lucky it might get chalked up to natural causes if someone finds his body #pacemaker failure. if he’s already had a bad heart (and he’s have to to keel over that quick from an EMP) #it’s not impossible. #anyways they’re all yelling about this meanwhile tony is just being Very Very still on the floor of the van #like ‘’pls just dump me in the river so i can Leave.’’ #he can tell how freaked hardison is abt it and feels a bit bad for him gkskdksksk #like yeah he knows he killed him but it was an accident!!! and honestly what he’s hearing abt their con #well. he’s not opposed. he knows enough about whatever mark this is #he just wants to be dumped somewhere so he can go home #make some sort of appearance so he gets on the news so no one thinks he’s dead #but then they start talking about assumptions abt the mark and the job and. fuck. #he can’t help himself but he sits up like ‘’you’re wrong that won’t work’’ #and everyone in the van screams

[mifhortunach]

.

#to do my fortnightly (?) mopey post!: i’m almost finished a big piece i’ve been working on && planning on finishing editioning smth i meant #to finish like this time last year - and i don’t hate either of them too much but i’m deffo not pleased lol #fgfjfn i feel like the year is slipping away from me already & i need a month off or smth to restart e/t & get a proj going for the practice #but i’ve litch HAD that in the last 6m & it did nothing lol #like.. there’s only so much knowing ur interests & taste can do for u if u can’t figure out any approaches or imagery :// #i kinda wish i worked w a more collaborative medium maybe or that i thought my stuff could stand ANY critical rigour lol #anyway ! remind me to watch a movie tmrw

[spookyboywhump]

darknet pet owner forums, baby. (i feel like cain wouldn’t know how to access it though)

When asked why he’s not on the darknet pet owner forums Cain says he’s simply too busy to bother with it but in actuality he just can’t figure that shit out

#ALDJSLDHAKDJSGSKD #realistically there probably are some shady services for dealing with this business #Cain knows just enough to do what he needs to for his job beyond that he gets lost #this also brought to mind the image of Cain asking zander to figure smth out for him regarding all that #and Zander is just like. /DO I LOOK LIKE I KNOW HOW TO DO THAT?????/ #he’d be SO mad #if he asked wren and supervised his computer activity for maybe an hour he could probably figure it out. probably. #and then wren can go back to work like ✨GUESS WHAT I DID✨ #now I have the image of Cain supervising wren using a computer #like a teacher standing there making sure you don’t go to coolmathgames.com #come on man it’s cool MATH games it’s educational he swears- #I’m sorry that’s dumb I’m all over the place with this ALSJAKDHAKDHSDKHSSKSHK #anyways. I know a lot of stories about the dark web and shit are fabricated and just scary stories told to sound cool #but some of those urban legends would make great whump content #red room whump WHEN #I love live-streamed whump sorry #anonymous

[doyeons]

the loneliness of being here is kind of destroying me but she’s being cancelled out by the happiness of actually liking the thought of what i can do w/ my life now so i just feel kinda uncomfortably indifferent instead

#bella.txt #but rly.. i need to figure out how to surround myself w/ more people my age #i feel very alone and idk how to remedy it and it’s making me feel like a loser #=_= #there r ppl in my life where i wish i cld just teleport them to me and have them near me always #i care abt them so much it makes me feel ill like theh don’t know this bc there’s no way to bring tht up like a normal person #but like. yea. i crave being physically near ppl i can’t always or even ever be physically near #i’m in a weird mood rn i think i need a hug or someone to shake me by the shoulders rly hard or smth

[palms-upturned]

.

#meg talks #god i am so fucking tired lately sksbdjjccj #came home from work today and made myself a quick dinner and after eating i immediately passed out for like an hour 💀 #there’s so much i gotta do in terms of cooking/chores but my body is just so worn out #which is why im late answering messages and stuff lately btw sjsbdjdb im not trying to ignore ppl #just. spoons in the negative. i can drop by and post my gay little thoughts every now and then but conversations i have to take slow #but yeah i am in dire need of a vacation skshdjdj ill have to put in a time off request soon… #just gotta decide how much time i wanna take off and when… #im just like god i hope i don’t have another medical emergency of some kind and regret not saving my pto 💀 #but i need REAL time off u know… time to relax instead of recovering/nursing ppl #at my first job i didn’t take a proper vacation for like two years and whew. there were Mental Consequences #now it’s been a year and a half at this job and the Consequences are hot on my tail #it’s just sad bc of covid u know. i can’t go anywhere nor host any friends for a visit #so ill just spend the whole time at home wishing i could be w my friends and family… 😔 #well. anyway. ill figure smth out #for now i just gotta get into a routine w the chores so im not dying sjbsdjhd #and also go talk to my fibro specialist abt adjusting my treatment to accommodate for lifestyle changes… #third floor apartment and walking to work and etc etc #sigh. im just tired man

[queenofmoons]

I very much dislike being given assignments with no due date

#@ my manager like please you don’t understand I know exactly how many pages of smth #I have to do every single day until the due date #I have everything figured out to the minute #I will NEVER miss a deadline. I just need you to give me one #if you don’t give me one it will never be done

[githvyrik]

anyone else constantly get the feeling that you’re never able to properly communicate what you’re trying to say and every time you say something you’re certain makes sense everyone instead just meets you with confusion and explains something completely different than what you said (not even necessarily like discussions and stuff just like regular everyday conversations) and also that you’re just fucking weird to everyone around you not in a “haha I’m so weird and quirky” way but like in a way that everyone else genuinely sees you as kind of weird to talk to in a way that’s uncomfortable and awkward for everyone involved and whenever you try to be funny or relate to people you’re just met with confusion or very polite “hey please stop talking no one cares/knows what you’re talking about” vibes and even though you know you’re being cringe you genuinely just can’t shut up because you’re interested/trying to explain yourself in a way that makes more sense so they stop thinking you’re just stupid or weird but eventually you do fall silent when you realize it’s never gonna work. or is that just me

#don’t rb this doesn’t make sense #I’m trying to work myself up to getting at least 1 therapy appointment bc I feel like I do genuinely need it so #I’m trying to put some stuff I’ve grown up with into words so I’m able to discuss it with a therapist or smth #bc it’s probably all in my head so I wanna figure out how to get rid of it #bc it was less noticeable to me as a kid but it was still kinda always there #but like. again! I don’t know if I’d be communicating this shit properly! #tbh in an effort to make this understandable I’ve probably over edited it to the point where it’s still unclear what I’m trying to say #which is part of the problem. #or like. is this even something I should bring up in therapy or am I just making shit up and everyone on the planet feels like this #tbh it has def gotten better with like the current group of ppl I generally hang out with #even like. a lot of my coworkers actually. which is kinda why I was so scared to quit for a while bc I just get along with all of them so we #*well

[mundanememorize]

i really don’t get the joy people get out of like “torturing their characters”. i’ve never understood in full that type of writer.

#i’m saying this because i’ve always struggles to figure out how to like make andy’s character not so miserable by the end it #like the fact that i can’t think of smth to make him happy is like. a miserable way to write #i don’t care for the dark approach to writing. truly i don’t. i think happy endings are the point of fiction. #this sounds very harsh because it needs like an essay to explain it but i honestly think killing characyers and making everyone sad all the #time is lazy writing…. #in terms of artificial conflict…. #i know i’m critical in the tags btw but i really mean this as i don’t understand the benefit of this to the writer or work. #like if someone explained it to me i could get it but it’s of no interest to me in my work

[breaktheicemp3]

I don’t like fashion aesthetics because I cannot stand looking at people in just a visual + stylistic sense for too long. for my own mental wellbeing. Also don’t think I could get into certain genres of music and/or subcultures because for whatever reason I get uncomfortable when the influences feel a little too catholic

#I mostly need to feel detached from what I look like to feel happy #I don’t vibe well with either makeup or having my hair or figure needing to look a certain way #and idk it feels like too much work to have to dig into some of the (and there will be no one can fight me on this) unsavory influences #visually or ideologically of certain aesthetics #and the thing about being catholic yeah I don’t know anything about goth anything but that’s why I’m kinda meh on it #also don’t like thinking of things in feminine and masculine terms or feeling like im too much of either #idk im kinda a boring vanilla whatever etc person in many areas of my life #which is fine I think being comfortable is positive for me. #the only thing remarkable about my appearance might just be the thickness of the lens of my glasses otherwise it’s just nondescript #clothes like plain lounge pants shirts #i tried being more fashionable or put together last fall but overtime I just wore more comfortable clothing #I can’t wear polyester so 90% of clothes anyway. also I hate it when you wear less fashionable clothes that it seems like you’re letting #yourself go. like maybe. maybe I’m just comfortable. I don’t see why ppl put so much stock into appearances #ofc I can’t completely say that because in the back of my mind I’ve Always thought about how my appearance affects people’s reactions to me #Idk I realize that sounds unremarkable. which is also how I feel. and idk what I’m good at or really what makes me happy. so. idk. #I realize that’s not smth you can base your personhood on what you’re good at. I wish I could at least find a passion of any sort #other than lying around or overthinking mindlessly #omg and I keep on thinking about how I have to fix all my bad habits and become an amazingly charming person out of necessity in time for #school. now i just hope I can become at peace with myself so I can do whatever I need to do #rymacore

[peapod20001]

Currently metaphorically banging my head and fists on the wall cus the only person that I can fully articulate my thoughts and feelings with is my own brain sooo :,)

#vent #bro.. BRO #I can only do so much in this world. I can only do so much #I have no real knowledge at ALL about how to go about living on my own... maybe it’s and easier process than it’s made out to be but idk #it’s not something I’d be able to do NOW but yknow. it’s a thought #kinda iffy on the whole idea though seeing as I’m like the universally liked member of the household #that’s not a bragging thing that’s a legit fact and it’s pressuring sometimes lol #I’m the go-to person when somebody needs to talk with someone. I know every side of everything. I hear EVERYTHING #hell even people OUTSIDE of my household tell me shit. and I carry that shit to my GRAVE but it allows me to point out things or give advice #ironic how I’m the one who shares advice huh? seeing as I don’t know anything haha it’s mostly my fault. I’m not the most adept or receptive #person sometimes. at least when I was younger. now it’s mostly the fact I have trouble retaining things in my mind #it’s smth I’m trying to work on. I work on/ have worked out LOADS of things. mostly smaller things but things nonetheless #why does every other member of my household still have trouble with figuring things out? is it really so hard to not yell at your children #when they aren’t doing what you’d like? isn’t it an easy thing to watch what you say to people? to hear yourself? to not make such a big #dramatic deal out of something that can be worked out in civil conversation? is violence ever good? are snide comments good? is pushing and #pushing and pushing someone to do something good? how am I right in one instance when correcting my brothers posture but completely out of #line the next??? seriously these people got some issues and I know I do too but at least I have the capacity and ability to deal with them #sometimes they’re right tho. if they catch me slacking or picking my skin I don’t mind the reminder to do better #I hate when it’s made out to be some horrible thing tho. that my hands are ugly because I’m picking them on purpose to piss people off and #NOT the fact that this is an issue I’ve been struggling with since AT LEAST age 5 and I’ve been working on it all the time and it hurts but #then i use the pain as punishment because I should know better by now. I’m completely off topic at this point but. yknow. family or whate #sometimes I do think about leaving and getting a roommate or whatever to show that hey! here’s how you have a functioning household where #people aren’t at each other’s throats metaphorically or literally! it’s possible I swear! I know! I’ve seen it! #if we try hard enough I’m sure someone won’t die either by their own hand or someone else’s #WOOF yea I have mixed feelings about talking about myself or my home life but today is just. one of those thinking days yknow? just gotta #power thru and then I can go to sleep. funny how that’s a thing I yearn for these days. I’m getting older lol

[moonstruckme]

If you don’t mind what about poly!marauders (emts version) x reader where she hides a injury that’s kinda serious (idk like a cut that’s pretty deep or smth) but she doesn’t think it’s serious, so she tries to hide it from them to not feel like a burden since they are always busy with work. Basically just a mix of emts marauders and casual dominance

Thanks for requesting lovely <3

cw: mention of blood

emt!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1.2k words

You’re trying to figure out whether putting your shoe in the washing machine will damage it irrevocably when the bathroom door handle twists. 

You look up like a deer caught in headlights. Sirius’ gaze flits from the shoe in your hand to the bloodstained sock on the floor to your wide-eyed look. 

“Shut the door!” you whisper-yell. He must be reeling, because he actually does it, closing the door with a click and dropping down beside you on the bathroom floor. 

“What’s going on?” he asks. Again, his gaze goes to your once-blue sock, now marred by a dark red stain. “Are you hurt?” 

You see the moment Sirius notices the foot you’re holding, layers of toilet paper wrapped loosely around the arch. His eyes sharpen. 

“Don’t tell James and Remus,” you plead. 

“Are you hurt?” he asks again, sternly now. 

Your lip finds it way beneath your teeth. “Not really,” you say. “It’s not terrible or anything, I just can’t get it to stop bleeding.” 

“That’s not usually a great sign, sweetheart.” Sirius scoots closer, holding out his hands. “Let me see.” 

You know better than to argue, transferring your foot into his lap. He gives you an odd look about the toilet paper before starting to unravel it, the thin material tearing under his rushed handling. Your boyfriend relaxes slightly when the wound is revealed. It’s deceptively small for how much blood seems to come out of it, the cut only a couple of centimeters along the arch of your foot. 

Sirius adjusts his grip, lifting it to the light to see it better, and you try not to look so visibly flustered at the tender way he’s handling you. 

“It’s little, see?” you say. “No need to bother anyone else.” 

He lowers your foot to give you an amused look. “Darling, as much as I love to have our dirty little secrets together,” he says, “you know they’d kill me.” 

“They wouldn’t,” you say, half desperate. “They love you, and I’ll protect you anyway.” 

Sirius’ mouth pinches. He thumbs at your ankle apologetically. “James would have us both flat on our backs in under a minute. Admire your confidence, though.” He sucks in a breath. “Rem, James!” 

The TV shuts off, and then there are footsteps on the stairs. Sirius is impervious to your glare, only picking your foot up again and turning it this way and that to see it better. 

“What?” James calls. You can hear Remus grumbling about how your apartment is hardly large enough to necessitate this much yelling. 

“In here!” Sirius shouts back. 

The door opens a second later, your other two boyfriends crowding the already small bathroom. James is crouched in an instant, setting a hand on Sirius’ shoulder to steady himself. 

“Oh, lovie, what’d you do?” 

You open your mouth to respond, but Sirius says, “Can one of you grab the first aid kit and a pen light? I can’t see if there’s anything still in here.”

“There shouldn’t be,” you say as Remus goes for the kit. “I already took out the glass.” 

Both Sirius and James look up from your foot, eyebrows raised. 

“And what were you doing that you ended up with glass in your foot?” Sirius asks. 

Your shoulders gravitate towards your ears. “Cleaning up the glass that I broke.” 

Remus hums disapprovingly as he passes a pen light to Sirius, who clicks it on, shining it onto your foot. You do your best to pretend this doesn’t make you want to crawl out of your skin. 

“When did that happen?” he asks. 

“This morning.” 

“Sweetheart.” James’ disapproval is evident in his voice. You can’t bring yourself to look up and witness it in his face, too. 

“And why didn’t you say anything when you hurt yourself?” Remus asks. He sits down beside you, eyes on what the other two are doing though you can feel his attention on you. 

“Because I didn’t want to bother you,” you say quietly. 

He tsks, and he doesn’t need to say anything more. It’s plain enough you’re in trouble. 

For a few moments, the silence is thick and hot, torturous, but surprisingly it's Sirius who does you the mercy of putting you out of your misery. 

“It doesn’t look like you’ve got any more glass in here.” He clicks off the pen light, and your hamstrings sigh in relief as he lowers your foot to rest back in his lap. “That’s lucky,” he tells you severely. “You can’t always rely on just picking out the big piece and having that be that.” 

“Stitches?” Remus asks, and you tense. You hadn’t even considered that. 

“I don’t think so,” Sirius says, but he sounds uncertain. “It’s just barely deep enough, though.” 

“Let’s see.” James holds out his hands, and Sirius hands it off to him. You try to ignore the fact that your foot is being passed around like something a child brought to show-and-tell. James takes up the pen light, peering at it for a few moments before nodding decisively. He pats the side of your foot. “I think you should be safe.” 

You must look as relieved as you feel, because James smiles, squeezing up the length of your calf. 

“What I really don’t understand,” he says lightly, “is why the hell you’ve been keeping it wrapped in toilet paper.” 

You can’t help but return his smile sheepishly as you shrug. “It works,” you say. “Plus, Remus gatekeeps the first aid kit.” 

“It’s only in the cabinet above the toilet,” Remus sighs. 

Sirius scoffs, and James across you to pat him on the thigh. “No one can reach it up there but you, love.” 

You look over in time to catch your boyfriend’s eye roll, paired with the smirk he tries to hide. “Regardless,” he says, “it seems as though it wouldn’t be an issue if anyone who can’t reach it,” his eyes slide to yours, and you find new interest in the floor tiles, “would just ask someone else to get it for them, rather than being secretive.” You can feel his gaze searing into the side of your head, but you refuse to look up even when Sirius snickers and pinches your leg meanly. “If you didn’t have the kit, how did you clean it, dove?” 

“It’s clean,” you hedge, but make the mistake of looking up into Sirius’ stern gaze. He cocks an eyebrow as if to say Go on. “I ran it under the tap in the bathtub.” 

Remus sighs, Sirius groans, and James lets his head fall fully forward onto your knee. 

“Sweetheart,” James presses a kiss to your shin, “my love, I know you mean well, but this is why you need to tell us things.” 

“What’s the problem?” you ask as Remus moves to sit by Sirius, opening up the first aid kit. “Water’s just as good.” 

“It’s really not,” Sirius says, “seeing as antiseptic kills bacteria and water doesn’t. Do you want to stay where you are or sit up on the counter, darling?” 

“I’ve got a better idea.” James scooches over by you, lifting you by your waist and setting you in his lap. “There. Far more comfortable, don’t you think?” 

“Much.” You grin, turning your head to kiss him. “Thanks, Jamie.” 

“Spent a whole day keeping secrets and still getting the princess treatment.” Sirius’ tone is equal parts teasing and affectionate as he smooths a hand up and down your calf. “We must really love you or something.”

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