#i don't think they like to see the website in shambles as it was

[emotional-engine]

In case you missed - GREAT Neopets News!

I didn't see anybody talking about the news here, so I thought that I could share a summary.

The Neopets Team announced today that they're under new management. They're no longer affiliated with Jumpstart (which announced their closure back in June) or their parent company NetDragon.

In their blog post in the official Neopets Medium page, they confirm that they are now an independent company:

(Dominc Law, worked for NetDragon and was an old school Neopets player. He put together a team to work on saving the brand.)

Also in that blog post the team talks about how they are well aware of the problems the site has been through in the last decade, they acknowledge the lack of resources which resulted in the Neopets website being left broken.

Going ahead, they are going to focus on community requests, such as speeding up the process of Flash Games conversion, clearing up the page conversion backlog, bug fixes, mobile compatibility issues and improving customer support.

Most importantly, in my opinion, they clear up that they WILL NOT go forward with any Metaverse bullshit, and will instead work on creating a game that feels like Neopets:

At this point, they have secured $4M in funding from various (unnamed) investors with additional funding from the management buyout. For the first time in forever, it looks like TNT has the resources they need to move the brand forward. In the blog post, they mention they have already hired developers and artists to work on the fixes the site needs.

From what it looks like, the game will be a mobile social life-simulation, parallel to the current website. We don’t have to worry that neopets.com will be replaced by a mobile app.

As of now, they have announced:

A brand new plot, scheduled for early 2024

A 2 million(!) NeoCash giveaway

More transparency with monthly updates from the team, scheduled AMAs

Neopets will be under the control of a new, unified entity: World of Neopia, Inc - the website will remain the same (neopets.com)

A Brand Ambassador Program

No longer going forward with NFT/Metaverse stuff

At the end, they published a FAQ with some answers that I found to be good and very interesting:

You can read the entire blog post here.

Or watch the YouTube announcement (which is way shorter):

#neopets #putting my journo degree to a good use i think #i am in no way affiliated with TNT or jumpstart or netdragon etc #i'm just really really happy #things look bright for once and i'd like to share the news #i know some people might be skeptical but i'd like to be optimistic for once and trust the team #most of them nowadays are old players if i'm not mistaken #i don't think they like to see the website in shambles as it was #also really goddamn glad they're moving away from crypto shit #i appreciate the transparency #also be nice to me i'm shy #Youtube #i admit i got a little lazy by the end #nostalgia #y2k nostalgia #kidcore #will these tags even show up

[hush-house-yard-sale]

The Hush House Card Catalogue

@baja-blasted @terephin (please ignore the crabs)

//So the software I'm using to keep track of my books, lore bits, etc. is called Seatable! It wasn't my first choice for this project, I'm more familiar with Airtable (I've used it professionally), but Airtable's free plan doesn't let you color-code :c

//Seatable is a website that looks a lot like google sheets, but instead of building a spreadsheet, you're building a database. I knew I wanted a database rather than a spreadsheet for my card catalogue because it became pretty apparent early on that a spreadsheet would mean a lot of duplicate entries and be a lot more work to maintain, as well as monumentally more work if I wanted to use it for reference.

//My database isn't finished, and so I'm not really comfortable making it public, but I'm happy to walk through some of the things that I like most about it, that made me choose to make a database rather than a spreadsheet.

//The main things that were really important to me was being able to have (and filter by) multiple items in the same column, having lots of cross-linking between the different sheets in the base, and having different views depending on what I was looking to reference.

//These are my different tables right now, and the way they work is that each table has the most detailed information on each item, e.g. Books has the most detail on books, and Skills has the most detail on skills. But I have columns in each table that allow me to crosslink between them.

//So for each book, I have listed the skill and memory they give, but instead of writing each out individually it links to the corresponding entry in skills/memories

//And then over in the memories tab it has all the detail on the aspects, which wisdoms it can be committed to...

//...and every book this skill can be found in and every item it can be used to craft. And those boxes can be expanded so they're easier to read as well!

//I can also group and sort things in different views. My default view for books, for example, splits them into two categories—whether I've read the book or not—and then sorts the books in each category alphabetically. But I also have one that groups them all by mystery and then sorts them from low to high, and I have another that groups them by topic. Each of these views also omits columns that aren't relevant to that particular view, for example, if I'm searching for books by mystery to give to a visitor, it's important to know the author because it's fun to give people books they themselves have written, but I don't really care about what memories that book gives, or when I'm trying to connect lore dots, it doesn't matter whether or not the book is cursed and I don't need to include books I haven't read yet (and thus don't have topic tags for). The rows on the topic one are also bigger so I can better read the blurbs.

//Well, the topic one actually groups by location, because when I group it by topic, it splits it into every combination of my topic tags, rather that giving me "here are all your books about the mansus" "here are all your books about Longs and Names" so I've stored them all in different places in the house depending on what books I think are relevant to one another.

//It's still in progress, I don't have everything written down yet, and I want more data for workbenches, and I want to try and see if there's a way for it to, say, auto-match skills/souls to workbenches for committing to the tree or crafting certain recipes. Also my color-coding is in shambles bc I'm waiting for a friend to recover from covid so that they can make me a greasemonkey script to make it a little less... corporate...

//But yeah! I like it a lot, and it works really well for my purposes. I highly recommend trying it out, and I'm happy to answer questions!

#Weather Factory #Book of Hours #Book of Hours Game #Cultist Simulator #Databases #ooc

[gillianthecat]

well, i'm not really shocked about it, but my executive function basically collapses on saturdays. it would be nice if it didn't, but i'm also cutting myself some slack about it. i think my brain just needs at least one day a week to let go of all self discipline. it's inconvenient, but i'm hoping it will work as a pressure valve so i can stay on top of things the rest of the week.

i did not sleep at all last night and instead compulsively went through someone's tumblr blog looking for all the personal details of her life even though our interests don't really overlap because she's the same age as me, she posted actual photos of herself and family (which felt slightly shocking on this website, though i know she's not the only one by far) and there were hints that she lived in the same area as me (it turns out she does). that happens sometimes, I get fascinated by some random person's online presence and want to dig up all the details that i can about them. not because i necessarily find the person themselves that interesting, it's more about the hunt for snippets of information. And, like with this woman, it's often someone who is like me in a few ways, but otherwise very different, so it feels like a glimpse at the mundanities of an alternate life i might have lived, although don't actually want. I used to get my fix of the details of ordinary other people's lives from the blogs of adult ballet students and ballroom dancers, and the occasional organizing/interior design blog, but sadly long form blogging like that seems to have basically disappeared. I never regularly followed youtubers but occasionally fell down a rabbit hole and obsessively watched people's entire oeuvres in a ridiculous binge.

and then a random link on that first tumblr-er's blog led me to an article in a magazine that then suggested a second article that was so awful, written by someone who someone who styled themselves a "public intellectual" but was either so implausibly naive about reality that it boggled the mind, or cynically pretending to be naive for... stirring up controversy? pandering to white racists? who the fuck knows - that i felt compelled to find all the bad reviews talking shit about him, partly to reassure myself that i had not lost my grip on my reality, that it was this writer who was talking absolute nonsense, and partly just to enjoy other people tearing him to shreds. i even when to twitter, for gods sake (this is how we know my executive function is in shambles). i did find many people there destroying him, managed to avoid reading his own tweets or that of his supporters, and got off in under an hour, so as twitter forays go, it wasn't too dangerous.

last saturday's executive dysfunction all-nighter was mostly dedicated to aimless scrolling of tumblr corners that i don't usually visit, but there i also found someone who made no sense, and felt compelled to dig through there blog to see if learning more about them helped me understand what they were trying to say any better. it did not. their blog was mostly reblogs of random things, then them reblogging political/philosophical posts with incoherent but aggressive sounding arguments. i dug into the notes, because of course i did, and anyone who bothered to respond was like "i have no idea what you're trying to say so i'm not going to argue with you." i finally blocked them, just to stop myself from digging further.

mostly i'm writing this out in order to get back to my self; i feel like my sense of who i am and what i want gets lost as i go on this little explorations of other people's worlds. which i think is what i'm craving when i do it; to not have to be a coherent person for a little while. but if it goes on too long than i find it hard to become myself again, and all the tasks that have remained undone while i went away pile up and make me want to go back into hiding. but i am hopeful i've caught it in time that i can get back to being functional, and finish my homework and laundry and not start the week feeling so terribly behind.

the other reason for executive dysfunction is that i have a writing assignment (gasp!). it is a very small one—to write the introduction to our physiology lab report for my lab group—but i'm feeling very stuck about it. i think because i feel caught between wanting to make it sound like an introduction to an actual scientific paper and the reality that this is an intro level physiology lab that is not doing original research and that we came up with our hypotheses on the spot with little to back them up besides a gut feeling. so i think i just have to get over wanting to write a "good" introduction, and just bullshit something. (this is why i'm taking science classes. i get so stuck on doing academic writing. it took me an extra two years to turn in my undergrad thesis even after i finished all my coursework.)

here's a picture being the "subject" for my physio lab and looking like i'm about to get a jump start.

well. i could ramble on forever. but i will try to take this momentum i've rebuilt and go get things done.

(it would have been nice if my complete collapse of will power had led me to catch up on QL shows instead, but alas, that is now too close to things i "should" do, even though i love them. my brain seems to only accept complete and absolute time wasting.)

#my ramblings #living with adhd #will i ever write about ql again? #i hope so but i don't make any promises #i didn't put this below a cut but hopefully y'all have 'shorten long posts' enabled #if you don't and want to know how to do it feel free to ask me #no [editing] we die like men #gillianthecat goes back to school #this is basically a diary entry #sometimes my brain is weird #gillianthecat's life #about gillianthecat #photos of objects irl #from my lab bench

[errorcode582]

ff.net has been in complete shambles for the past several years and is a notorious hive for plagiarism. The mods also nuked thousands of fics from the platform for reasons ranging from justified to incredibly questionable, and the site has had two of these mass purges in its lifetime. It's also been on the decline for years with constant outages, unresponsive mods, and a piss-poor tagging and search function. The owners of the site do not seem keen on even really giving the base code a spit shine, and I'd really question the security of it overall. I would not be surprised if they have a major data breach in the years to come. Don't get me wrong, I love it to death in a nostalgic way, but I can see why it's not exactly a great place to post fic these days.

Wattpad, usually the second site mentioned in these discussions, hosts tagged erotica alongside the rest of its content with no filter by default. This means you can find erotica in any search query you use unless you specifically exclude the tag. It's also a notorious hive for rpf, and allows rpf erotica. It also allows sexual content of 16 year olds, as it states in its code of conduct that, quote, "the age of consent is 16+ on Wattpad".

And really, those are the only notable contenders against ao3. Any other website you could list would fall into "niche" territory, and most writers do want their work to be seen so they can gain traction and potentially a clientele later on if they want to enter writing professionally. Plus, blogging sites like Tumblr tend to not be very conducive to posting fic as they aren't designed with a book format in mind, so word limits are tighter, you have to manually stitch a sort of chapter browser together by yourself as you post the fic, readers will encounter your fic in reverse chronological order, and honestly I could go on. Plus, Tumblr's tagging system is also complete garb, and if people don't reblog your fic, you're SOL. So, while I've heard of Fanfiction Online and have seen some promise in Quotev (I've made an account there recently, so consider that a "to be continued"), sadly, in terms of usability and popularity, all alternatives are overshadowed to the point of complete obscurity by the behemoth that is ao3.

Trust me, I hate that website and the cesspool it plays host to. Ever since I learned just how bad it was over there, I haven't spent a single second of my time on it. However, I can't blame aspiring writers for using it in the same way I can't blame other content creators for using YouTube rather than Dailymotion or Vimeo, despite YouTube's openly predatory practices towards their artists and child audiences (the Elsagate stuff never stopped, they're just using Mickey and Sonic now). The site holds a soft monopoly over the realm of fanfiction publication, and it's going to take a website that directly outclasses it in terms of user-friendliness to even really start giving it trouble and to convince the majority of the audience to switch over.

I'm all for taking as much of an audience away from that hellhole as possible though, so I'll gladly vouch for any alternative website that directly outclasses ao3 purely by design. Hell, ao3's code is completely open-source. If anyone manages to literally make a better ao3 (maybe even implementing those lofty promises of multimedia support that they've been harping on for years, hm?), I'll make an account on there the moment I hear of it and spread the word of it as far as I can manage.

Honestly, I think it really speaks to the state of fan culture overall that the best place to view and post fanfiction online is a csem hive, and I really want to change that message if I can. Unfortunately though, as much as I want a viable alternative, we're stuck between YouTube and Dailymotion, and I cannot blame anyone for wanting to stay away from Dailymotion.

Also @proship-blocklist since it was your post that was involved in this, feel free to add your input as an author/reader if you feel so inclined.

#error code: asks #error code: anon #error code: discourse #? #i guess it's discourse I'm too tired to think of another tag #cw csa mention #for those in the audience wondering where the hell this came from I poke my head into replies a lot #anyways complex topics requiring complex explanations y'know #I can feel a cluster headache coming on so I'll just leave this open to discussion

[thatforgottenbasilisk]

why am i like this

Words: 558 (AO3)

Summary:

"4 with spamton and kris" - anon

4: “….Did you just sniff me?”

(yes this was originally an ask on here. no i cannot find it so here we are!! crossposting BACK on tumblr!! you will see this behavior again. plus im crossposting anything that was originally an ask for the sake of ease)

You're walking in the woods. There's no one around and your phone is dead. Out of the corner of your eye you spot him...

Spamton G. Spamton.

He's following you, about thirty feet back. He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint. He's gaining on you!

You don't change your pace. You continue walking, calmly, as he catches up to you. He can smell fear.

He tugs at your cape, and you stop and turn towards him.

"Hey kid, you look like you could use a bit of [[hyperlink blocked]]!! You sure do wanna be a [[BIG SHOT]], don't you? Just a bit of [[KROMER]] is all it would cost..."

You shake your head. [[Hyperlink blocked]] doesn't seem like a particularly safe investment at the moment, not with all those bitcoins and dogecoins and NFT furries and everything else on the Internet these days. Not that you don't trust Spamton, of course, but the digital economy's in shambles nowadays!

"Wow, you sure do drive a hard bargain! Tell you what, I've got a specil deal for [[soapy lads]] like yourself! I've got the [[hyperlink blocked]], and I'll even throw in some [[moss]] for absolutely [[3.99]]!"

Did he say moss? Moss? Delicious moss. There's only one thing to do now that delicious moss is on the table.

You dig for your pouch of Kromer. You'd like the [[hyperlink blocked]], too, but you're really paying for the moss. It's fulfilling. You can almost taste it now...

Wait. What if he doesn't have it? Not that you don't trust Spamton, of course! You just know that he can be... forgetful, sometimes. You can't just waste your precious Kromer if he forgot that he doesn't have moss!

There's only one thing for you to do. You lean towards him, and take a deep inhale.

"... Did you just sniff me?"

You nod at him, and think on the scents that you caught. Garbage, of course; the smell of old plastic, which you suspect to be Spamton himself; the smell of metal, which must be all the Kromer he has in his pockets from his job as a very successful salesman; and then, very very faintly, beneath it all, is the unmistakable smell of fresh moss.

You hand over the Kromer at the agreed upon price. He gives you your moss, and then, "Take out your [[cellular device]] so that I may transfer the [[hyperlink blocked]]!!"

You take your phone out, and he sends you the [[hyperlink blocked]]. When you click on it, you're taken to some kind of banking app.

Apparently Spamton just sold you some kind of cryptocurrency. God damn it, you'd thought he was good at this stuff.

You look up from your phone to look Spamton in the eye, as you give him your best glare. He looks sufficiently cowed.

"Yes, I know your opinions on [[online currency unregulated by any sort of governmental body, popularized initially by Bitcoin]], and how you think it's a [[foolish trick]]. However! [[Hyperlink blocked]] is the most [[orange]] of all cryptos on [[bird website]] right now! I have it on good faith that [[elongated muskrat]] is going to say something good about it! Then you'll be a real [[BIG SHOT]]!!!!!!"

You sigh. Another good man, lost to the cryptobros on twitter dot com. You walk away from Spamton in shame.

#my writing #unfortunately

[cigarette-room]

I mean at this point it seems just having a fanfic uploaded on ao3 is supporting the site itself stopping now helps nothing we should strip the website of it's fans and content completely by deleting whatever works we have on there, just doing nothing for a week before resuming adding content doesn't seam helpful or hard hitting enough in my opinion plus there are other sites to post fan fiction like wattpad or fanfiction.net, i don't see why anyone would add new work ever again on such a disgusting site like ao3 who has always supported things like incest and racism, this new disgusting addiction isn't anything new in the sites history seeing as the main mods have always acted, and let's not forget it was founded on incest abo supernatural fanfiction. you of course don't have to delete anything if you care too much about comments\kudos\etc... but i have and i just want to make a friendly suggestion towards truly boycotting this site once and for all.

AO3 is an archive. Taking off hundreds of thousands of fanfictions from it is literally impossible. Fics that date from 2000s, fics of abandoned authors... besides, AO3 makes literally no profit whatsoever from uploading and consuming fics, so taking them down or refusing to upload, as much as a symbolic gesture, doesn't impact the site itself or the authors of it.

You know what is a direct hit to the site, though? Stopping the donations. There's hundreds of thousands of dollars going to this site every time they open up for donations. They breach the limit every single time, and without the money to hold the site up it would quite literally be in shambles, so - the most important thing you can do is talk about how shitty they are while withholding your money from them. Taking down your fics and refusing to upload is optional, and please don't come at me with "you care more about kudos/comments" I care about things that do the work, AO3 has never gotten a penny from me and never will and we should spread the word so others do the same.

Also, anon, please stop being weird. Bringing up fictional incest and abo supernatural fanfictions in the same breath as genocide apologism is such a thoroughly unserious thing, as it's becoming more and more obvious that some of your will stop at no situation at all, including genocide apologism, to bring up fanfiction discourse. I don't think incest fanfics are even in the top 100 of problems here jfc lmao

#asks #ao3

[mr-home-improvement-man]

beat my bid

The 23HourBids Revolution: Unleashing the Beast of Home Improvement Savings!

Hey there, folks! Gather round because I'm about to drop some truth bombs on you that might just save you a truckload of cash and headaches when it comes to home improvement projects. You see, in this modern world of ours, we have a little something called the internet. And boy, oh boy, does it bring us wonders. One such wonder is 23HourBids.com, a game-changer that can revolutionize the way you tackle home improvement. Buckle up!

Let's face it; finding reliable contractors who won't milk you dry or leave your house in shambles is like searching for a unicorn in a haystack. It's frustrating, time-consuming, and can make you want to tear your hair out. But fear not! 23HourBids.com has got your back, my friends.

So, what's the deal with 23HourBids.com? Well, imagine this: you have a home improvement project, whether it's fixing a leaky roof, remodeling your bathroom, or building a new deck. You've done your research, crunched the numbers, and come up with a budget. Now, instead of going through the traditional contractor-hunting circus, you post your project details on 23HourBids.com and wait for the magic to happen.

Here's where the fun begins. You see, this website attracts the best and most reliable contractors in the county, and they thrive on competition. When you post your bid, it's like tossing a juicy steak into a lion's den. These contractors, hungry for work and eager to prove their skills, will swoop in and try to BEAT your bid. That's right, they'll fight tooth and nail to offer you a better deal.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "But Bill, what if they lowball the bid and deliver subpar work?" Well, my friend, that's where the magic of 23HourBids.com truly shines. The website doesn't just attract any old contractors; it attracts the crème de la crème. These are the folks who take pride in their craft, value their reputation, and understand the power of positive customer reviews. They're not going to risk their livelihood by doing shoddy work just to win a bid.

Moreover, 23HourBids.com has an extensive vetting process. They thoroughly screen contractors, checking their licenses, insurance, and past work history. They do the heavy lifting so you don't have to. This means that the contractors bidding on your project are already pre-screened, reliable, and professional. It's like having your own team of experts at your fingertips.

But wait, there's more! 23HourBids.com isn't just about finding the best deal; it's about creating a win-win situation. You save money, and the contractors get more business. It's a beautiful dance of mutual benefit. And trust me, when contractors are fighting tooth and nail to win your bid, they're going to give it their all to impress you. That means higher quality work, better materials, and faster turnaround times.

Now, I don't know about you, but that sounds like a damn good deal to me. Why go through the hassle of calling multiple contractors, haggling for prices, and praying you've made the right choice when you can let the competitive nature of 23HourBids.com do the heavy lifting?

So, my fellow homeowners, if you're about to embark on a home improvement journey, do yourself a favor and visit 23HourBids.com. Post your bid, sit back, and watch the contractors battle it out.

[btranwrites]

Remember

a Han Vu short a gay Lovecraftian urban fantasy short story

Han and Lance, a teammate, have a quiet moment. The mud is getting stronger, and to counter that, Han makes a life-changing request …“Will you call, at least?” It was obvious to Han that Samantha was devastated. They had worked together for so long, but he couldn’t bear to work at the hospital anymore. “Of course,” he lied, and didn’t. ...“I think you’re the kind of man who tries to do the right thing. You’re also the kind of man who struggles to see beyond black and white, and now that you’ve hurt people dearest to you, Lance, your conviction is wavering. You fucked up, and you fucked up bad, but as long as you can know that, you’re doing okay.”

Full story under the cut, or read on my website!

I.

The university campus was cold, but Han was looking at three stacks of notes, barely pinned to the table with hardcover books. It was supposed to be sunny, but now out here in the courtyard, the dusty wind threatened to knock his empty Red Bull over, which he caught just in time.

"Heyo," Riah balanced on one leg while the other dragged the chair opposite Han from the table, hands holding full plastic bags. "Pork seaweed for you, and California rolls for me! Classics don't fail."

Han remembered this moment, remembered smiling, feeling relief and appreciation. His friend was here, they were studying together, they were commiserating on failing exams, they were celebrating passing exams. But in this recalling, he did not. His heart was still.

"You weren't here with me, Riah," Han whispered to himself on a stadium of blinding lights and faceless, shambling figures in robes, the graduate cap on his head almost slipping. The chancellor was saying something, the crowd cheering, arms waving, but he remembered putting on an empty smile. His friend wasn't here to celebrate with him. He remembered feeling abandoned, unwanted, alone. But in this recalling, he did not. His heart was still.

Mrs. Lam, tiny and fragile, sat on her bed, her elbows crumbled the spotless hospital gown that was too big for her, her hands cupping her face, but they couldn't contain the tears. Han remembered hugging her, telling her he was sorry, that he had no control over the hospital's finances, that they were strict with insurances, that he was sorry, sorry, sorry, but the tears wouldn't stop. He remembered the bottomless pit, helpless despair, uselessness, but in this recalling, he did not. His heart was still.

"Will you call, at least?" It was obvious to Han that Samantha was devastated. They had worked together for so long, but he couldn't bear to work at the hospital anymore. "Of course," he lied, and didn't. His phone said he last called her a month ago. Two months ago. A year. Five years. He pressed the button. Contact deleted. He remembered feeling like he had buried her, but in this recalling, he did not. His heart was still.

Marcus Anthony Wander, former chief financial officer of Payne Town New Hospital and incumbent head of Wander Pharmaceuticals, the man who refused Mrs. Lam's case and Han's former lover, sat before him on the bed, cradling a headless corpse whose insides were hollowed out, blood smearing all over the man's tailored suit. His face was stone cold, free of kindness, his eyes the colour of sharpened steel, and behind him was a wall of translucent skin, threaded through with veins, blood pumping to an unseen heartbeat. His lips parted, but the voice vibrated the world.

"When you're ready, you will. And you, will be ready."

His heart felt cold. It plunged into abject terror, baptised in blinding, seizing hatred.

II.

When he could see again, Fadi had just left the shawarma place, the door just closing with a click. There was chatter around them, like the apocalypse wasn't happening at all, but here they were anyway, at a shawarma place.

Lance was sitting across from him. Han didn't think the man realised how low his shoulders drooped, or if he knew, or cared, that he had bags under his eyes. Lethargic hands moved the knife and fork, delivering meat to his mouth, but it didn't look like Lance was there at all.

Suddenly, Lance rolled his eyes, like Han had said something stupid and didn't remember—that should have made him panic, but his heart stayed still.

Lance cut off a huge chunk of the meat, pierced it with his fork, lifted it from his plate and, uh, did they somehow get intimate without him remembering? Was this how Sydney and Alexander slept together? But Lance didn't fork the meat over to Han, instead held it off to the side. The air shimmered, and slit open: beyond the rift were brimstone and hellfire, and a large canine head peeked through, fangs bared, racing forward to—

To gingerly teeth the piece of meat off the fork.

A tongue of flames lolled out and lapped over black wisping fur. "Not bad, not bad at all. Make this a recurring item on the menu," it rumbled, and dug back into the rift in space, the hellfire whisking away.

Lance scoffed as he examined his now smoking, half melted fork. But he ended up having a small smile on his face as he began picking at his food with his hand.

"Ahem."

Lance looked up from his plate.

"I thought you're an anti-Mythos cop of sorts, and you just fed a demon dog that came out of yourself." From somewhere came a sound like a wolf laughing, but Han continued. "How did that happen?"

Lance groaned, leaning back in his chair trying to figure out how to answer. "It's… hard to explain, but after everything that's happened, things have changed… I've changed. Or at least, I'm trying to. Garm, was very different in the past. So, I think the fact that he was able to change, at least a little, has convinced me that there's hope for Humans and Mythoi to get along. Or at least I'm trying to convince myself it's possible."

"By 'everything that's happened,' you mean starting the end of the world, stabbing your teammates in the back, sealing up your own brother…"

Lance hung his head, as he went back to picking at his food. "Yeah…" He mumbled so quietly Han could barely hear it.

"Sorry," Han said. "I just wanted to lighten up the mood a bit."

Lance laughed, but it was bitter. "It was a good attempt, don't worry…"

Han remembered empathy like a term found in a dictionary, theory from a textbook. How he was supposed to feel, the things he was supposed to say and do to reach out. He remembered banter and awkwardness. He remembered those things, though the edges were fraying. His heart should have moved, reacted somehow. But it stayed calm and still.

III.

They were on their way to the library. It had been a quiet walk.

"So you did do all those things?" Han said anyway. "You didn't deny them."

Lance sighed. "Yes, I did… I threw away everything I thought I cared about, for the sake of my goals. And in the end, I got nothing for it."

He scowled. "Have you ever had an obsession, Han? Something that seems good, seems important. And you start dedicating every moment of your time, money, and energy toward making it happen. And somehow along the way you grow blind and deaf to everything else. For me… It was the idea of saving humanity from the Mythoi. I managed to convince myself that accomplishing that goal was worth any cost. And I stubbornly refused to listen to anyone else's argument. Even my own brother."

He puts a hand over his heart as he turns to look at Han. "And now all I'm left with is this searing, burning pain in my soul. Knowing that so many that I worked with died for this. My best friend in the gatekeepers, George, died for this. Annette Crane, someone I once thought of as a friend, was dragged back into this, and died a victim of it. And my own brother… I betrayed my own brother personally. Obsession is a terrible thing, Han."

Oh it was indeed, or so Han remembered. Annette Crane… he remembered caring for her, fighting for her life, but what was just weeks ago felt a lifetime away. Lance didn't know they crossed paths, so there was no need to perform. "Did you think your brother would be better off without his Mythos?"

"I did… If it was under different circumstances, if he chose to give it up himself. Then I still might." He looks down at his hands, which had started to shake slightly. "But the way things happened? The way things are going now? No… I don't think he'll be happy. I took his happiness from him." He looks at Han with tears growing in his eyes. "What kind of a man betrays his family like that?"

Han had a hand on Lance's back, guiding the man to the water fountain at the centre of the town square, where he went off and met Marc again. He saw it spilling mud, but not just any mud. It was dark, the tint of fresh blood. Anatomies churn in its waves, but they weren't alien. He recognised broken human hands, chopped off human legs, screaming human faces. Lance's. Riah's. Sydney's. Alexander's. Nemesis'. Faces he remembered caring for, but at the sight of their demise, his heart stayed still.

They went away at a blink of the eyes, clear water once again flowing from the fountain. Han got Lance to sit on the edge, and he sat with him, their backs to the traitorous waves.

Han said, "I think you're the kind of man who tries to do the right thing. You're also the kind of man who struggles to see beyond black and white, and now that you've hurt people dearest to you, Lance, your conviction is wavering. You fucked up, and you fucked up bad, but as long as you can know that, you're doing okay."

Lance stared at the ground in frustration. "People always say that the first step is knowing you have a problem, which is true. But they never mention how hard the next step is. I just… I don't know what to do to fix things. I don't even know if I can fix things."

Han watched the quiet street. "I don't know if I do, though."

At the corner of his eye Lance turned to look at him, but Han kept his gaze forward.

"What? What don't you know?"

"Good and bad. Or at least, remember good and bad. It's like they're only a memory now. A concept in my head, but nothing else."

Lance was fully focused on him now, an eyebrow raised. "What do you mean?"

Han stared at his hands; he could see surgical blades at his finger tips. The cut through the wall between worlds would be so clean.

He said, "it's getting harder for me to separate the living from the dead. To distinguish a living being from an arrangement of biological parts. I look at my patients and I'm seeing only puzzles to solve. I see someone screaming from blood loss and I wondered how much more can be drawn until the noise cuts off.

"Kindness for me is a memory I'm trying to hold on. Caring is no longer my first instinct, but a habit that takes effort to… to practice, to maintain. I don't know who I will become when I forget, and I know the mud is waiting."

The scalding, simmering hatred stirred, but Han pressed it down. He still could do it with ease, but it was getting stronger. He turned to look at Lance. "There's a nascent Rift of something dangerous trying to come through into this world. It is taking advantage of someone I used to care for. I want you to seal him up.

"Then we will look for the Holy Grail. Riah wants it to create the Panacea to bring back Bumpy. I want the Panacea so it can be replicated and mass-distributed, and obliterate the entire pharmaceutical industry once and for all.

"Then I can close the Clinic. My job will be done. And then, Lance, Gatekeeper. I want you to seal me up. I want you to take the mud from me."

#writeblr #original writing #my writing #short story #gay fiction #ttrpg fiction #lovecraftian #urban fantasy #queer sff #queer horror #city of mist #han vu

[mariolandavid]

Leaving Bangkok

There were signs that it wasn't to be a smooth day from the outset as we left Bangkok. The Staybridge suites, calm, placid and peaceful room heard the first gentle tap of raindrops on the window.

Rain fell, and fell, and fell. Puddles, became pools, became streams and finally floodplains. Streets began to resemble the nearby Mekong; whole areas became submerged. A Typhoon whipping the streets of Thailand's Capital with a force not seen in 10 years. Nature's scary.

Fearing the worst, we called a taxi 4 hours before needing to. As we sat in the lobby, drenched figures started shambling into view. We crept to the door and dared to poke a heads out. Motorbikes were turnig back in the face of the new river, cars caused crashing waves that swept the pavements as they sped past, their lights glinting on the waters surface like gemstones. The particularly brave abandoned their shoes and tryed to wade through with shopping bags (and shoes) in hand. My idea of walking a bit down the road to "a less wet bit" was quickly shot down, so instead we waited and attempted summoning taxis (an ordeal taking at least 20 minutes and a lot of cancellations).

Soon a car pulled up. We piled in and the poor guy began his descent into Waterworld. Attempting 3 different routes to get out of the city, each one blocked by a larger body of water than the last. Being ferried (literally) through the cityscape, staring out the window at this flooded metropolis, we watched the outside world captivated at this rising water.

People were huddled in doorsteps and cafes; losing any sense of 'i gotta be somewhere' or 'better get home'. A guy sat at a table drinking another beer, because fuck it right? Friends ordered one more round of clams in the streets, watched the rain and laughed. You'd think it was the most normal thing in the world for people to see their home sink beneath them. If I can't go somewhere, why wouldn't I have another satay? Norms and deadlines go out the window as the weather held time, space and your day to day routine in a headlock while it did it's thing. When it rains it rains here, and everything else gets a break.

Jealous of the pockets of people living in this new time vortex, we sadly had somewhere to be as international airports don't subscribe to my romantic notions of time stopping. Our taxi driver heroically got us onto the highway and sped us onto Suvarnabhumi Airport - arriving in plenty of time still we settled down at one of the airport restaurants enjoying a massaman curry (not terrible actually) and calmly waited for our plane.

The calm we felt was short lived. The South Korean government decided that this had all been too relaxing a trip to the airport and pulled out its own clusterfuck curveball at us to rival biblical floods. Their box of tricks consisting of an unannounced mandatory visa for all Non Koreans entering the country.

The K-ETA, a wonderful new piece of bureaucracy imposed 6 days before our travel date, was briefed to us by the airline via the following routes. Emails - 0. Airport announcements - 0. Airport Staff informants - 0. A fucking post-it note somewhere saying BEWARE OF VISA REQUIREMENTS - 0. Yep. No information. Nothing. I was more aware of Russian espionage activity in Ukraine than my own visa requirements at this point. Cue a line of flustered & panicked non S Koreans (yes, all of them) in a huddle at the front of the check in desk, desperately filling in visa applications online.

Of course Air Asia, could have told people in the queue, to do this in the queue to check in, or in email the week before. The K-ETA website could accept photos larger than 30kb (the data footprint of a Nokia ringtone) They could accept non-S Korean debit cards (S Korea really hates these for some reason). Nope, we like to see you sweat. Keep trying.

As we helped 2 poor german girls use our credit card, our visas were granted. With 2 minutes until check in slammed shut we gratefully sprinted to the plane, losing Mariola's water bottle en route but avoiding having to pay £800 for new flights or losing 3.5 days of our trip to waiting for the the rescheduled flight offered. Lucky us.

I could go on, but I will summarise as "Go Fuck yourself Air Asia" and stop there as we were on the plane.

[globaloscillations]

York. (Not the New one. Not the Maine one.)

I was chatting to the bartenders at a pub we found ourselves at for lunch, they were some younger lads and asked how we found York. I hesitated because it is a hard place to describe quickly. I think that is because the scale of the history York represents is something that we on the other side of the pond just have no frame of reference for. This idea that you're routinely walking past a wall or archway or castle or priory that might be that is potentially 1000s of years old is hard to grasp. In some sense the entire city is a living museum. I found myself walking down a street one weekday morning watching people start their day an imagining that probably similar scenes have played out through all that history.

In terms of our visit to York the first stop was the National Rail Museum. A place that originally I didn't think we'd make it to despite the desire. Because we extended our time here and because the museum is open 7 days a week during the summer holidays we were able to visit. It's no big secret thst Kristen and I are rail nerds and have visited a fair amount of rail and transit museums over the years. For fairly obvious reasons (ie. our abandonment of rail in the late 1900s) nothing back home holds a candle to the collection here. There are many potential highlights but I have to go with the open displays as the main highlight for me. The open displays are the cavernous archives of the museum essentially are are filled with the largest most overwhelming collection of rail artifacts I've ever seen!

After the Museum we headed to "Brew York" a very American style brewery to sample a. few beers and enjoy some pretty solid Ramen from thiwr food stand. We mewndered back through the Shambles and stopped in at some of the shops that were open. A number of these shops were Harry Potter themed due to an inaccurate but persistent rumor that they inspired Diagon Alley. While thet bit of folklore isn't true you don't have to use to much imagination to see a resemblance. I was able to acquire the "flat cap" I'd been searching for in one of the shops. We ducked into a tavern that I hadn't spotted on the maps and enjoyed the live music for a while. We wandered back to our hotel stopping in ar various pubs that were eirher on my Google Maps or looked interesting. Possibly one or two more than was prudent based on the following morning.

Day two in York was a little slower paced somewhat due to the previous night's impromptu pub crawl catching up with us and somewhat due to the prior week's worth of travel catching up to us. After some reflection on both and life over coffee we decided to hop on one of if the sight seeing buses as a lower impact way of seeing the city. The tour guide was pretty much the definition of cheeky British humor and overall it was a pleasant tour. After lunch we crashed fairly hard and despite the heat and climb back to our room decided that a nap and not moving for a bit might be the best option.

Our last day in York actually found us in Malton a small town just northeast of York. We stopped at a small place and Kristen enjoyed her proper English Breakfast. Not my thing due to my general rejection or breakfast that doesn't include bagels. 😉 From there we headed over to the Eden Camp museum. What i imagined this was from the website was a fairly small and modest military museum. What it actually was was one of the densest and most packed with information and displays museums I've ever seen. Also a number of the dioramas had smell components which was a unique experience. The museum was actually a former POW camp consisting of some 29 different huts and you were never entirely sure what you were walking into but it was most likely information and sensory overload. They also had a collection of military vehicles on display the highlight for me being a "half-track" part tank part truck and always fascinating to me. Eventually though we admitted we were overwhelmed and headed back to Malton.

We grabbed a late lunch at a pub, a very nice traditional pork pie that was quite tasty. We then headed down to the Brass Castle Brewing tap room. Brass Castle came on to our radar all the way back in pre-COVID times when we learned of it from a cool couple we follow on Twitter who at the time were in Boston but originally from this area. It was at that point that the York region was added to our "England but Not London" trip itinerary. Of course we had no way of knowing it would take us this long to make that trip. The beer was good and I grabbed a T-Shirt to rep back home.

That brings things back to real-time as I write this this morning before we start the day and head over to Liverpool.

[seasurfacefullofclouds1]

Hey so since it's all gray now don't you think us louies should expand to other websites (reddit , discord etc) as a project are do fun things like create games , masterposts etc etc that keeps everyone busy... Bc on Twitter and Tumblr louie fandom is in shambles . Walls anniversary is also nearing with your maybe a project on different streaming platforms alongside expanding louies on diff platforms will maybe be fun........ Just a suggestion . Hate seeing his personal life being the topic of discussion... Like whatever the situation we can't change shit so might as tune it in to something fun and useful

Tumblr Louies just finished a 24-day birthday project for Louis (several Louies did daily beautiful posts).

Twitter and Tumblr Louies did charity birthday projects. We’ve done projects to stream singles from Walls.

We’re doing all these projects despite not having any new music and very little new content. Because we love Louis.

But if people are sad and tired, or unhappy that we’ve waiting for two years for no new content, then give the fandom some time to process and choose.

I know the suggestion is meant kindly. I am one of the people who had participated in the birthday project, and I’d like to spend a little down time for myself 😊.

[seatosomert]

March 2022 update.

Its been a while since i posted a blog here. I've been busying myself with work and some personal photography projects.

Spring is here in the UK where i live and I've a few things planned as we move into better weather and longer periods of daylight. As we move to longer days I'll be moving away from night shoots and I'll be thinking about what and where to shoot in my street photography.

If any of you have been struggling for inspiration on what to shoot, you're not alone. As the sun becomes more prevalent and as it starts to reach higher in the sky than in the winter months we know that there will be harder edged shadows cast. For me I will be looking to use this to my advantage. In street photography I'll be looking for sharp edged shadows cast by buidlings and perhaps shadows cast onto walls by people etc.

If you are looking for a specific project to complete yourself, search Google for some ideas and just type in 'Street photogrpahy projects for day time'., or something similar. Maybe search for landscape ideas, seascape, city scape the list goes on.

If you don't mind spending a bit of money on a book, I'd recommend Brian Lloyd Duckets '52 Street Photography assignments.' He also does a specific one for black and white photography. They're inexpensive and Brian has some great ideas to insprie you that makes it easy.

I'm currently producing and compiling my fine art Street Photography, with a view to printing them in high quality photobooks early in 2023. I'm also building a new website where I will be displaying more of my images and I plan to write a more regular blog there that will cover my adventures and photos taken througout this year so keep an eye out for that.

York.

My most recent night shoot was about a week or so ago in the City of York, Yorkshire, England. This place is just so atmospheric and characterful for street photography and i have felt more of a pull to shoot at night as the street empty. It's at this time, aboput 9 pm onwards, that the streets there take on a completely different look, one of mystery and a bit of spookiness.

The guy in the tall hat and coat tails appeared from the end of the street. Possibly a host for a Ghost tour of the City. I positioned myself ready to capture his image as he came into view, but when he saw me, he stepped into a doorway and disappeared into the building inside (at least i think that's where he went lol). Check out his features, gaunt and chiselled, yet no eyes, nose or mouth can be seen. Very spooky. My favourite shot of the night that tells a story of this scene and this city that is shrouded in millenia of history. This history started pre-Roman time, and the city itself, which .is a walled city, was in fact originally built by the Romans in 71 AD.

The history of this ancient city has revealed archaeological history dating back to between 7000-8000 BC. It later became occupied by the Vikings, it's name adapting to the Norse name , 'Jorvik'.

It was later to become an important Royal centre for the Northumbrian Kings. The City prospered for centuries, despite being severely damaged following the Norman Conquest of 1066. It became the 3rd largest city in England after London and Norwich. There are reported to be 2084 listed buildings in the city and 22 Ancient monuments.

So you can see the history surrounding this amazing city and just imagine the stories that these ancient streets could tell. I'm not a great believer in the paranormal, but if there is such a thing, this place is likely to be an epicentre for such links and activities.

I've been told that at certain times of the year mist rises up into the Shambles, which is the street in the largest image above. This is usually in the middle of the night and is rare, but I'd love to see and photograph this, so watch this space.

The top left image was a house name that just caught my eye as wqe wandered the dark and quiet back streets. The lighting and the textures just drew me to the scene and so I just had to shoot it.

The top right image is a shot of my pal accompanying me on the shoot on the night as he looked up at the architecture. The bottom image is a shot taken through the window of a Harry Potter style shot that sells 'Potions', and the like associated with cosmetics and soaps etc. It's a very popular shop and it's often got a huge queue outside of it during opening times. I loved this scene for it's old worldy look. I understand that J K Rowling took inspiration for a street in the Harry Potter series called, 'Dia Gon Alley', (apologies if spelled incorrectly, I'm not a Potter fan I'm afraid).

I did shoot a few more than these, but of the 30 ish images i shot that evening, these are my favourites. They all tell a story, ably assisted by the amazing atmosphere and backdrop that this ancient city provides. It's got probably 4-5 more shoots for me before I'm done for a while. I'll most likely leave it until next winter I think when I've got more chance of capturing that misty street scene that I've previsualised many times.

For thoss interested, i shot these images on a Fujifilm XE3 using an XF 18-55mm f/2.8-4.0 lens. Its a brilliant combo and I can shoot in film simultation mode and Raw at the same time and i can apply a different film sim post shot in camera or in Fuji X Raw Studio which I use on the Mac. However, these were all shot in standard mode and I made some tweaks in Adobe Lightroom to the RAW files. I chose the Fuji over one of my Sony cameras because of the way it handles low light noise. It makes it look like film grain and so retains more details rather than smudgy digital noise.

I don't fix my images. I get them right in camera then tweak them a little to adjust the lighting such as shadows, blacks and highlights in post. Less is more for me.

So that wraps up this post guys. As usual if you have any questions or comments, please fire them below. If you're ever up in Yorkshire and you fancy meeting for a night shoot in York, get in touch. It's better in groups of no more than 3, otherwise we stand out and become indiscreet. I like to blend into the background. Anyway, alll the best and see you again soon.

Regards,

Neil.

#streetphotography #fujilove #fujifilmxe3 #fujifilmphotography #fujifilmxseries #streetsnappers #fujifilm #york #nightshoots