#i feel so disconnected from them or at least 99% of people in the planet that it doesn't hurt me

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

The Reunion - Part 2

Summary: We meet up with our crew after they have left Barab and after Friday’s episode of the Bad Batch getting their chips removed. Hunter x Reader. Echo x Reader.

A/N: Italics - Past conversations

The quotes Crosshair says during his nightmares are directly from the Bad Batch episodes.  All rights for those quotes, belong directly to the geniuses working on the Bad Batch TV show at Disney.  

Warnings: Slight mention of a beating, nothing described.  Medical procedures.

If I miss a warning, just let me know.

Words: 4,608

AO3 Link

Drop some love, a comment or a reblog, it’s all appreciated.  If you want to be tagged, let me know.

Previous -> Masterlist -> Next

“We don’t usually work with regs”

“Grow up, Wrecker”

“If your plans are so good, why did Commander Cody have to call us in?”

“An order is an order”

“Since when?”

“Good soldiers follow orders”

“He had us disobeying orders”

“I never thought you disobeying orders was a problem”

“Disobeying orders again over a kid?”

“You’re becoming a liability”

“You disobeyed orders”

“I did what I thought was right”

“You should have killed that Jedi, you disobeyed orders.”

“You never could see the bigger picture.  Now surrender.”

“Best stand down sergeant, make it easier on yourself.”

“Have you lost your mind?”

“Your move”

“Bad play, Hunter”

“You want to know why they put me in charge? It’s because I’m willing to do what needs to be done.”

“What seems to be the problem with CT-9904?” Lama Su asked Nala Se

The two Kaminoans looked on behind the one way mirror, “medic, what seems to be the problem with CT-9904?” asked Nala Se.

I looked towards the mirrored glass, “he’s having a nightmare”, I glanced from the mirror to Crosshair that laid on the med bed before me.  The Kaminoans wanted his inhibitor chip to be constantly activated and operating at peak efficiency; if they lost him, they would lose the backing of Admiral Tarkin, something they couldn’t have.  

How I wished Hunter was here?  How I wished I got to the ship in time?  I wished for a lot of things, mostly I wished that Crosshair’s chip hadn’t been activated, and that as the medic for Clone Force 99, I wasn’t the one in charge of keeping his chip activated.  Every time he laid down on that med bed, a little bit of me died.  I had to do this to my friend, my family, Hunter’s brother.  I tried at first to say that the chip was damaged, it wouldn’t activate, but they quickly dealt with my deception, in the form of a beating from two of the Clones who had taken me under their wing.  The beating from the two had knocked me out, when I came to Bad Batch was gone, Omega, my little helper, was gone, and Crosshair had tried to kill his own brothers.  

What’s worse is that Crosshair looked for every opportunity to wound me with his words, he wasn’t my Crosshair, he wasn’t the man I had grown to know and love as a brother.

‘Must be miserable to know you fell in love with a traitor.’

‘How does it feel knowing they left you?’

‘Only the Empire can provide what you need’

‘Join them and die’

“He seems to be having a particularly disturbing dream, he keeps thrashing” that voice, oh I hated that voice, it was responsible for the so called War Mantle project, Vice Admiral Rampart.  How I wish he could be the one on this bed before me, so I could make him suffer, the way he’s making Crosshair suffer.

“Indeed” oh there’s that other voice, Admiral Tarkin.  I loathed both men, and would be happy to see both die a very slow painful death.

“I do not believe we should continue for much longer, the procedure could cause irreparable damage”, I suggested.  I’m sorry Crosshair, I hope you can hear me.  I’m so sorry.  

“Very well” Admiral Tarkin’s voice filled the room, I could almost feel his breath on my skin.  It was revolting.  

“End the procedure, medic Kambe”

“Yes, Prime Minister”

I turned off the machine and watched as Crosshair's tortured face relaxed.  I moved beside him, and disconnected him from the machine, he was still unconscious, at this moment and I could pretend he was still my family, he was still the same Crosshair.  The one who taught me to shoot a target five klicks out.  The one who would tease Hunter and me, when we would go out on a date.  The one who said he always wanted a sister, and was happy I was his.  I discreetly held his hand, rubbing circles with my thumb on the back of his hand.  I’m sorry Crosshair.  I’m so sorry Cross.  

- - - - - - - -

“That medic seems very attached to CT-9904” Admiral Tarkin noticed

“Yes, she was the medic for Clone Force 99.  She got to know them very well and went on several missions with them.”

“Interesting.  She may prove useful.”

“How do you mean Admiral?” Asked Vice Admiral Rampart

“She may know something the clone doesn’t, or she could be used as bait, to bring in the others”

“Admiral, I must protest” Nala Se interjected, “she, unlike the clones, is not Empire property, she is hired by the Kaminoan facility, and works directly for us.”

“And yet, she gets paid via the Empire, does she not?  Or do you pay her directly, Prime Minister?”

“Uh … I would have to check our records, Admiral Tarkin”

“Don’t bother, I have checked already.  She gets paid by the Empire.  She used to receive funds from the Republic, and has subsequently received funds from the Empire, therefore she is a servant and employed by the Empire.  As such, we have the right to do as we wish with our workers.”

“Admiral, I would be more than happy to take over … keeping an eye on the medic” offered Vice Admiral Rampart.

“That is not necessary, it seems we have the best thing to keep an eye on her already” he motioned towards the unconscious clone.  

- - - - - - - - -

Although, I couldn’t hear what was being said behind the glass, I could sense eyes on me.  I grabbed a data pad and pretended to check Crosshair's vitals. If they were going to stay there watching me, then they wouldn’t get anything except a medic doing her job.   There had to be a way to get the chip out of his head, someway to go under the radar.  If Cross was back to normal then he and I would be able to get off of Kamino and find the boys.

I heard the door slide open behind me, “Medic Kambe”, I turned to face Nala Se, she was the only Kaminoan that I could somewhat tolerate, although in the end she was the biggest problem of all, as the Chief Medical Scientist, if it wasn’t for her, so many soldiers wouldn’t have been killed and treated less than they deserved.

“Yes, Nala Se?”

“You can move clone CT-9904 to the recovery room”

“Yes, Nala Se”

She stepped closer to me, it was odd and threw me off.  She disliked me more than anyone else, simply for making the clones feel like people and not property, it was one of the reasons I was assigned to an actual team, rather than the Kaminoan facility in general.  “You need to be careful,” she said in a lowered voice.

I kept busy preparing Cross for transport, “what do you mean?” I asked in a similar whisper, “they’re watching you, they want to use you to bring back Clone Force 99 and Omega.  We can’t have her land in the hands of the Empire.”

“I understand”

“Please be quick about transporting the clone, Admiral Tarkin wishes to see what effect the new enhancement has on CT-9904” she said in a louder voice.

“He has a name”

“He is a clone.  Clone CT-9904.”

“His name is Crosshair!”

“Medic Kambe! One more outburst and I’ll have you restricted to your quarters and brought up on charges of treason. Do you understand?”

“Yes”

“Good” without further word she stepped out of the room, maker I hated her.  I really did.

I looked at Cross one more time, he had a slight scarring from where the machine had performed it’s procedure. My only hope would be to perform surgery at night, or maybe if I was able to go on a mission with Cross again, distract him, get him isolated, and perform the surgery.   We both needed to get out of here, and soon.

- - - - - - -

“I don’t know if the plan will work” Fives offered

“Oh I’m sorry, do you have something better, vod?”

“Listen Phoenix Ghost, we are not judging you, it just seems risky” offered Hunter

“Well, what do you want to do?”  I asked, Rex had just left after we were able to get the chips out of the remaining Bad Batch, the idea was to take the med pod with us, or at the very least take it and hide it on a planet that we could bring Crosshair to.

“Why can’t we just use the method you did before, with the other clones?”

“That would require us going to a safe clone planet, the nearest one has over 500 of your brothers, inhabiting it.  I would gladly take you there, if the Empire thought you were dead.  However, as of right now, the risk is too great that someone would follow you, or someone spot your ship and decide to report you to the Empire simply for credits.  I’m sorry but I’m not putting your brothers at risk.  Either we find a way to bring Crosshair here, or find a way to bring the med pod to Crosshair.”

“Cyar’ika, it’s okay.  We trust you”

“Really, cause if you trusted me, you wouldn’t be questioning the plan right now”

“It’s just dangerous” Tech tried to reassure me.

I couldn’t help the glare that had appeared on my face, “seriously Tech? That’s your pathetic platitude, that it’s just dangerous.  Everything we’ve ever done, from the moment we either joined or were sold to the GAR has been a life filled with danger.  I personally have a scar on almost every quadrant of my body from one injury or another.”

They all looked to Echo, who simply nodded.  Oh that was it, “WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT HIM? DO YOU HONESTLY THINK I WOULD LIE ABOUT THAT?!!!”

“No, of course not” Hunter tried to calm me down, but the anger within was growing from their… I guess lack of trust.  

“Cyar’ika”

“Don’t Echo! Don’t Cyar’ika me!”

Echo let out a frustrated breath, being back with Echo was amazing, it’s like we hadn’t missed a beat, all those years being apart had evaporated within a matter of minutes.  

“Fine, ner riduur”

Ugh! Why did he have to tug that cord? All the anger I had a second ago washed away at remembering that we had indeed gotten married, I  dropped my shoulders and my head to my chest.  As soon as we were off Barab, we had found a place to lay low for a few weeks.  Echo didn’t want to waste anymore time and proposed, I didn’t want to waste any time either and said yes.  We both had wasted too many years apart, to waste another second not being with each other, was downright idiotic.

Fives had been his best man, Omega was my flower girl, Hunter walked me down the aisle, Tech officiated and Wrecker stood in as my man of honour.  Rex had come to wish us well, after the ceremony, he pulled me aside and gave me a big bear hug, “I’m happy for you ad’ika.  I wish you nothing but happiness.”

The words were there, but the warmth in the eyes weren’t, “I’m sorry Rex.  I’m sorry I couldn’t…”

He didn’t let me finish, “nothin’ to be sorry about, little one.  You followed your heart to the man you love.  It’s the heart I fell in love with, so how can I be upset about that” his warmth finally reached his eyes, we hugged one more time, “thank you, Rex.  I love you, vod”

“Love you too, vod’ika”

“Alright, let’s come up with another plan than” I offered calmer, I looked over at Echo, and smirked.

“How do you do that?” Whispered Wrecker

“It’s my gift” Echo chuckled, I simply shook my head, “what if we make a medical droid?” Asked Omega

“It is possible” Tech advised

“We are at the scrap yard so we could find the parts we need, it won’t be pretty, but it’ll get the job done” I added, Tech and I sat down to work out a plan and design for the medical droid.

“While we are doing this, maybe the five of you could try to find an actual droid, maybe if there is an actual medical droid, we won’t have to make one” suggested Tech.

“Fine, we know when we’re not wanted,” Fives teased.

“Hey Omega”, I called, she turned towards me, “good suggestion” I winked at her.  She ran over and hugged me, “thanks mo…I mean, thank you Phoenix Ghost”, I returned the hug and looked at Hunter, he had a smirk on his face, “hun, I think your dad’s waiting for you”.  Hunter shot me a look, I couldn’t help but smile back, at the end of the day we were all co-parenting, so what was one or two more parents, uncles, or aunts.  Whatever way she looked at us, we were family.

- - - - - - - - -

“How does it feel, vod?” Fives asked Echo

“How does what, feel?”

“Being married to the love of your life?” He elbowed Echo

Echo couldn’t help the blush that appeared on his face, “like I’m living a dream that I never want to wake up from”.

“Awww, that’s so sweet” shouted Wrecker

“Alright you guys focus, Omega and I will go done here" Hunter motioned to the corridor to his left, "Wrecker, go with Fives and Echo” as Hunter motioned to the corridor on his right.

“Copy that” Fives answered.

Hunter and Omega headed down what looked like a medical hallway, there were all kinds of beds, against the wall, “Hunter?”

“Yes, Omega”

“Are you married?”

“What?”

“Like Phoenix and Echo?”

Hunter didn’t answer for a minute, Omega could see something was bothering him, “I”m sorry, should I not have asked?”

“It’s okay, kid.  No, I’m not married.”

“But there was someone?”

“Yes”

“Medic Kambe?”

Hunter stopped and looked at Omega, “how do you know that?”

“I trained under her as a medical assistant, she always used to mention Clone Force 99”

“That’s how you learned all about us”

Omega nodded, “she treated me like I was …”

“Like you were a person”

Omega nodded, “that’s how she treated us too.”  Hunter continued examining the rooms, and realized more than likely his love had seen what was happening to Omega and how she was treated.  He could see his tiny love stepping up to protect Omega.  Knowing her, she probably even had to fight to be Omega’s trainer.

“Do you think we’ll see her again?”

“I don’t know, kid.  I hope so, I really do.”

“Why didn’t she come with us?”

Hunter let out a sigh, “I don’t know, but something must have happened, otherwise she would have been waiting for us in the hangar.”

“I hope if we do find her, you two get married”

“Really?”

“Yes, she makes you happy.  You clearly make her happy.  She always had a smile on her face when she spoke of you, she kept her biggest smile when she mentioned you specifically.”

Hunter smiled at that, hopefully soon enough, he’ll have his brother back, and his love in his arms.  

- - - - - - -

“Any luck?”

“There’s no such thing as luck” chuckled Fives

“What are you? Obi-wan?” I asked

“Hey how do you think I got so good with the ladies?  I learned from the best” he laughed.

“Fives, you were good with the ladies, because they took pity on you.  Not because you had any of the charm, Obi-wan had.”

“How do you know about Obi-wan’s charms?” Asked Echo.

“Hmm… what, my love?”

“We will discuss this later”

“Whatever you say, ner cyare”

“Oh don’t try and placate me with sweet sayings”

“As fun as it is to be in the middle of what’s probably your first argument” Tech interrupted, “did you find a medical droid?”

“I did!” Shouted Wrecker

“Good.  By the way", Tech directed towards Echo and I, "I would like to see how an argument between married couples proceeds, it would be interesting to learn and see first hand” inquired Tech.

“Yeah, not gonna happen” I said, “let’s get this droid adjusted. Faster we get this thing on the ship, the faster we get out of here, and the faster we can get to Crosshair.”

“I think I have an idea about how to get Crosshair out in the open,” Hunter offered.

“How?” Asked Wrecker

“I’ll tell you guys when we’re back on the ship”

- - - - - - - - - - -

“That’s a bold plan” Fives commented

“But it has the potential for working” I appeased

“How do we know we can trust her?” Tech questioned, “how do we know she didn’t wilfully not show up? Had a change of heart?”

“Come on Tech, you know her.  She loves us.” Hunter looked to the ground before continuing, “she loves me, she would never … She was detained.  I know it.  Something prevented her from meeting us in that hangar.”

“Okay, so you want to send a message that will undoubtedly put her in danger, either on the mission, or before the mission, and definitely after the mission.  Basically, you are okay painting a giant target on her back, Hunter?  Cause that’s what you’re doing by sending that message.”

“I know Phoenix, but it’s the only thing I can think of to do.”

“Then I’ll help to try and limit the damage.  First things first, we are going to need to split up, find a planet to draw their attention to, hopefully one that’s uninhabitable.”

“With lots of ground coverage” offered Wrecker

“No high ground” suggested Tech

“With lots of animals” said Fives, we all turned to look at him, “what? If he can get distracted that gives us an advantage, I’m not crazy”, we all nodded along.  “He does have a point” chimed in Echo.

“What about Felucia?” Hunter suggested

“It’s not inhabitable.  I actually think I have a place.” I offered

“Where?” They all asked at once.

“I can’t say.”

“Well if you can’t say, how can we use it then?” Fives asked

“Because I have to ask permission to go there, it could put someone in danger, and that could be worse then …”

“Then having the Empire after us right now?” Wrecker inquired.

“Yes, actually.  They’re very dear and special to me, I need to …sorry guys, I’m gonna have to take over the bunk for now.”

“Oh” said Echo

“Oh” I nodded.

“Oh what?” Hunter asked

“Ohhh!” Clued in Fives adding, “I thought he was dead.

“About as dead as you and I are”

“What are we talking about?” Wrecker asked Tech

“I don’t know” Tech answered shrugging his shoulders.

“Sorry guys, I can’t say more, or talk more about it.  Like I said, I need the bunk, no one come in until I emerge.  It could be several hours, I suggest we stay in hyperspace as much as possible.”

“What’s going on?” Omega asked as she stepped out of her room.

“Sorry guys, but we can’t talk about it” Fives answered, “just trust us, when we say she needs to do this, and you really can’t disturb her, she needs the quiet.”

- - - - - - - - -

It had been a while since I sat here meditating, trying to connect with my older teacher.  I had been a force-sensitive child, and was about to take the Jedi trials, to be ordained as a Jedi Knight, but the anger within me had proved to be too volatile, with the war in effect.  It was important to not let those who could be in situations where the constant fighting, the constant bloodshed and the insurmountable injustice would be present all the time.  It could lead one to use the force in an unnatural way, causing one to take actions into your own hands.

I closed my eyes, and focused on the force, being one with the force was always easy for me, which was why the Council was concerned when they felt my anger.

“Little one, hmmm? Yes, hmmm”

“Hello Master Yoda”

“Why reach out through the force did you, hmm? Alright are you, hmmm?”

“I seek advice, Master, the advice is not for me, I’m alright, but it is to save two innocents.”

“To save a clone called Crosshair you wish, and medic called Kambe.  Innocent, Kambe is.  However, shed innocent blood, Crosshair has.”

“It’s not his fault, Master, it’s his chip.  If we remove the chip, he’ll be back to his old self.”

“Possible, removing stone from a puddle is, damage the stone caused when thrown in is permanent.  Back, what makes you think the Crosshair you once knew would come, hmm? Hmmmm.”

“Because it happened to one of the clones I am travelling with.  His chip activated, and he tried to kill Omega, the little clone girl, once his chip was removed he went back to normal, although he remembered the incident.”

“Wrecker activated for, how long was, hmm?”

“Not long, maybe about 20 to 30 minutes.”

“Crosshair been activated, how long has, hmm?”

“Since the start of the Empire”

“Over time weeds grow over stone, in the puddle, that is.  When you pull out stone, pull out weeds too.  The damage caused, irreversible, could be.  Prepared to face that consequence are you, hmm? Hmmm?”

“At least he would be free.”

“Of clone life free from, hmm? No.  Free from the Empire, hmm? No.  His other self free from, hmm? Possibly.  Plague his mind constantly, the nightmares of what he has done will.  Carry, can you soothe the pain his soul will, hmm?  If this chip you free him from, have to help carry his burden, you will.  Ready for that are you, hmm?”

“Yes”

“Then I offer, what advice can hmm? Yes, hmmm”

“We need a planet that is shrouded in darkness, with no major high ground, lots of foliage and animals”

“You use Dagobah to draw him out want to, hmm?”

“With your permission, Master, yes.  But if you feel it is too big of a threat, maybe you can recommend another planet, one that can wreak havoc on a sniper.”

“My permission, you have.  I will give you coordinates that will put any in danger not, and your purposes that will serve.”

“Thank you, Master.”

“Your anger and your fear I no longer sense.  Changed, what has, young one, hmm?”

“Ever since my ‘death’, I no longer lived for myself but for others.  With the help of others and my skills we were able to save 2500 soldiers.  Brave men, each one.”

“That is all not. Herh herh herh”.

“No, Master.  Ha, never could hide anything from you.  I married the love of my life, Echo”

“Happy for you little one I am.  Continue learning from the force.  Serve you in the future, it will.  To the dark side within you I no longer sense the temptation.  However, to say goodbye to the man you love, be prepared, when the time comes, or to the dark side again find yourself on the path.

“Yes, Master.  Thank you.”

“With you may the force be.  Hmmmm”

“And with you, Master.”

- - - - - - - - -

“How long does this usually take?” Hunter asked Echo

“Once it took her - - - what was it? Fives, 12 hours?”

“I thought it was longer, closer to 15 or 16”

“It depends”

“On what?” Asked Tech

“On how easily I can connect to the force”, I answered.  They all turned to see me emerge from the bunk room, “how long was I in there for?”

“About 8 hours,” Echo answered.

“Do we have a plan?”

“We do, Hunter” I smiled, not only did we have a plan, but I had the privilege to continue learning about the Force, who knows what will happen in the future, but as of right now I was very hopeful.

“So where are we going?” Asked Omega

“Dagobah, we’re going to Dagobah, but first I need to eat, secondly there are a few things we need to discuss and thirdly, only three or four of us should go, the others should keep Omega safe.”

“I feel like there’s going to be a whole Jedi sort feel to this story” Fives laughed

“Well not completely, but you’re not wrong either” I laughed along with him.

“Does that mean, you’re going to tell me how you know about Obi-wan’s charms?” Asked Echo

“You’re never going to leave that alone, are you?” Hunter and Tech got up and headed for the cockpit, Omega headed for her room, Fives and Wrecker headed for the bunk room, leaving Echo and I alone.

“Why won’t you just tell me?”

“Why do I need to tell you about something that is so trifling, and doesn’t matter in our current predicament?”

“Because I need to know”

“You don’t need to know, what you want to know is if I personally experienced his charms, isn’t that true?”

“I … how … that’s …” Echo rubbed the back of his neck after his failure to start his sentence, “that’s not what I want to know.”

“Then why do you keep asking that question”

“I just didn’t think that Jedis, you know”

I just looked at him, “Echo, I married you.  I was learning to become a Jedi, remember?”

“Yeah, but I just didn’t think you were with anyone before me, I thought we had that in common”, that’s what he wanted to know! Man, why was he beating around the bush?

“Echo, my love” I kneeled before, cradling his face with one hand, holding his right hand with my left, “I love you.  Obi-wan is just a horrible flirt.  I was never interested in him.  I wasn’t interested in anyone other than you.  You have been and always will be the love of my life.  No one can compare to you.  They can’t hold a candle to your bravery, your courage, your kindness, your sweetness, the way you care for me, the way you look after your brothers, the way you look after Omega.  You are the best man I have ever known.  No one will ever change my opinion about that.  I love you and only you, and I have never been with anyone other than you.”

Echo looked into my eyes, leaned forward and kissed me, with all the passion he could muster.  “I really wish we had our own room, and our own ship, right now.”

I laughed out loud, “well let’s get to a safe haven where we can pick up another ship, and you and I take an hour for ourselves.”

“I think maybe four hours is needed”

“Ha, if only we had that kind of time my love, an hour and a half?”

“Two”

“Done, but then we have to get this plan under way as soon as we land.”

“I know”, I pressed my forehead against his, soaking in his scent; Master Yoda was right, I would have to prepare myself for the eventuality of losing him for real, one day.  When I had thought I had lost him the first time, it nearly destroyed me, and it was because I wasn’t able to have a future with him.  Wasn’t able to live freely with him.  Now, I could.  If I were to lose him tomorrow, I can be comforted in knowing that I had married, and had been able to love him without reservation.  I would have no regrets with how I loved him.

“I love you, Echo”

“I love you, Phoenix”

TAG LIST:

@lady-ren​

#tbb omega #tbb crosshair #tbb echo #tbb hunter #tbb #tbb tech #tbb echo x reader #tbb hunter x reader #star wars #sw #obi wan kenobi #obi wan star wars #yoda #bad batch echo #bad batch #bad batch wrecker #bad batch tech #bad batch hunter #tbb wrecker #crosshair

[eternaleve]

Watching A Broken Frame music videos for the first time!

Carrying on with my Depeche Mode video rewatch project with the vids for A Broken Frame (first post is found here https://eternaleve.tumblr.com/post/624649762286780416/ive-spent-the-course-of-covid-lockdown-cycling)

I looked through my vinyl and found I did not steal my mother’s Depeche Mode singles from this album (I only stole all her Elvis Costello and Joy Division and a bunch of Japan singles which I suspect she snuck to me in hopes of making me like them) but they are all mysteriously gone. My abusive stepdad recently moved out and I have thoughts about what property he took, but this just seems petty. 

Anyway, let’s talk about A Broken Frame! Vince Clarke left the band to go and be the Paul McCartney of 80s electronic music, forming Yazoo and Erasure. Apparently he did not like success and touring and stuff, which is far because it’s a lot of pressure, so he’s out and Alan Wilder is in after responding to an ad in Melody Maker. Remember music journalism? He joined as a tour keyboardist and appears in the videos for the album, but didn’t contribute to the album.

 A Broken Frame was released eleven months after Speak & Spell, which doesn’t seem to be enough time to me for a band to create another whole album's worth of material. It just seems that a band spends a few years perfecting their sound and a selection of songs, and then a record label says, ‘Great! Now do the same thing, but in a much shorter timeframe, under much more stress, and in snatched moments between being shuttled from gig venue to gig venue!’. I understand there’s a ~hype train~ that music acts have to follow, because bands can slip out of notice so fricking quickly, but the pressure does not seem set up to maintain the mental and emotional well-being of people. I’m sure nothing like that will happen in the history of this bad though!

This album cover is considered one of the world’s greatest photographs for a reason. It’s stark and beautiful and has echoes of socialist realism and is just a really striking image. I don’t know who has final say over art direction in the band but whoever does has a great eye for images. The picture is taken over by Duxford and as I’m from the Midlands I have been to Duxford on a hundred school trips (it has a big air centre with WW2 planes and things and bits of the Berlin Wall), so I’ve probably been past this field an uncountable number of times without even realising it.

See You (Jan 1982, No 6 UK charts)

I like how it looks like fuzzy felt. It feels very, very different from the singles art from the last album, I guess to indicate a clear difference in direction? Maybe? This is the first single for the band written by Martin Gore and starting his reign as songwriter.

All the music videos for this album were directed by Julien Temple and are Not Liked by the band. I generally quite like Julien Temple’s work and watched a lot of it as a teen (stepdad being hugely into the Pistols), so I am intrigued to say the least how these will turn out to be.

This does give me a bit of a nostalgia kick for an old-fashioned style train station. It’s pretty much what my home station used to look like before everything was privatised, bought out by Virgin, turned bright red and full of commuters. I like how the station sparks to the beat of the music and that someone okayed an actual spending budget for this time around.

YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE STATION THE PHOTOBOOTH IS HAUNTED

Not going to lie, this looks 100% like my Dad’s first ever passport photo. I like the addition of the bowtie. It adds a real ‘First Communion’ vibe to the whole look. The nose stud… well, I had a nose stud at the exact same period of my life. Same age too, I think, only mine stayed around a lot longer when it definitely should not have done.

It was at that moment he knew he had made a grave mistake in confronting the ‘Telephone Box Killer’ on his own.

Insert a standard ‘Original Selfie’ joke here. The use of the photobooth gives a cute little through line in the video, as well as giving other band members a chance to be present. I remember using photobooths to take fun photos, before they started costing so much goddamned money and put them only in the most inconvenient places. I still have a bunch that I keep in my purse.

… And now everyone’s working an office job? To show the passage of time? Or because it’s now a bit with music, so we’re showing the use of keyboards through office equipment that sort of requires you to make similar hand movements?

Something, something, statement about technology? The photobooth theme was fine! It was cute! It said something about the regret and passage of time from teen to young adult romance! Why are there now a lot of calculators?

Just in case you forgot - the single’s out now. Wink, wink.

But let’s go back and check in with our corporate overlords. Bob, how are you doing on the spyware floor?

… is this Julien Temple? Is it a music video within a music video? Did he put himself in the video? Could this part not have been done by a member of the band? Like, y’know, that new one who was clearly added in partly through this video?

I like the main core storyline of the video - thinking about a past relationship and then happening to run into them again unexpectedly - but I can see why this is perhaps not well thought of. Next one!

The Meaning of Love (April 82, No 12 UK charts)

This reminds me a lot of the cover for the first Adrian Mole book which was published the same year. It does not match the first single at all or the album, but I guess the album art was yet to be done? Or maybe two different departments handled them, because I would have gone with a different single cover if I knew that one of the greatest photographs of all time was in the wings for the album.

Reader, my heart dropped. I knew we were in for some deeply 80s bullshit. And, like, not good 80s bullshit.

This is the lounge act in the cruiseship of my nightmares

Martin Gore there looking like 99% of the lesbians on the DIY punk scene.

What the fuck is going on?

What, and I must reiterate, the fuck is going on? Are those pies? Pie eyes? Pie eye glasses? What does it mean?

Now’s not the time for your science homework, it’s time to film a music video.

Great, I know what image will be repeating in my night terrors tonight. Martin Gore’s face earnestly singing at me from the depths of a paramecium.

THIS JUST GETS WORSE AND WORSE. THERE IS NO SITUATION ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET MADE BETTER WITH PUPPETS.

No, my night paralysis nightmare will be Dave Gahan’s face turning into a fucking pie over and over and over again.

Oh, I see, the Meaning of Love is that your wife will turn into a bitter harpy that won’t let you live your dream and also your life is ruined because she keeps letting the puppets sleep in the bed.

I guess the video has a sort of XTC vibe? It does remind me of the video of ‘Making Plans for Nigel’, which I do like, but also this video is fucking awful should be seen to be believed. I liked the band’s awkward choreography which was four men showing how much they did not want to be doing any of this.

Leave In Silence (August 82, No 18)

The font is nice. That’s about all there is to say for this. It doesn’t match the other two singles. I’m not saying everything has to be matchy-matchy, but it is nice to have visual similarity and consistency. This looks like the record label gave up on trying.

Okay, so we’ve got the album art sorted and starting out with a - I guess you could call it ‘low rural farming vocalisation’, and neither of these two things match the other singles or music videos, which have had a very poppy, teen girl, Smash Hits vibe. 

This week on The Generation Game, you could win a stainless steel bowl, a cuddly toy, and the lead singer of Depeche Mode!

This video started with a group of people vocalising while pouring out grain and looking very plaguecore, now we’re all playing around on a conveyor belt because I think Julien Temple has run out of ideas and is being artsy and surreal and weird to cover that up.

Ladies and gentleman, I’m sad to say that ‘The Fanciest Little Cowboy’ competition will not be running this year due to a lack of other contestants. This is a very fancy Little Cowboy though.

…. I…. what? 

I have seen many bad, bad, bad cursed images in my time, but this is going straight up to the top. What the fuck does this say about the song? The band? The image the record label is trying to project? This pointless weird imagery for the sake of being pointless and weird.

It’s okay, Jess. Bright Red Martin Gore can’t really hurt you. Only haunt you.

And now spacehoppers. Because of course spacehoppers!

The players from Pathologic show up to make a cameo appearance, matching nothing in the video, and seeming wildly out of place with everything else. Pick a theme or story, Julien! It is EITHER the Generation Game OR a terrifying children’s show OR guttural Soviet inspired plaguecore. You can pick one! Not all of them!

The Blue Man Group really had a rough start. The wheat is… just there. Because I guess Julien Temple couldn’t think of how to organically weave it an advertisement for the album. So there’s just a bundle of wheat for no good reason.

By this point, same, mate. That is the only reaction I am having.

These videos were… not great. I think ‘See You’ is the best and most cohesive - it tells a cute little story that ties in with the themes of the song and provides an emotional resonance. And then things just go off the bloody chain a bit. They get weird and experimental in a way that does not work in selling the band or the song. They seem pretty disconnected from what a music video should be and Julien Temple seemed to just run out of ideas by ‘Leave In Silence’. C- Mr Temple, must try harder.

And then onto Construction Time Again! ... well, when I get round to it. In a few days maybe.

#depeche mode #a broken frame #i'm making myself laugh at least #see you #leave in silence #the meaning of love

[theinvisibleinstigator-blog]

Only One Laura Marling

I’ve been listening to a lot of Laura Marling lately. A lot. At least an hour a day for the past 2 weeks. I find solace in her voice. Sometimes this blog feels so redundant I love Son Volt. I love Neko Case. I love music. But honestly, how else do I express what I want to express. Give it a try sometime. Pick a topic of passion - baseball, nature, animals, art, star wars, whatever it is and try writing 20 pieces about that topic. The first few will probably be descriptive, new, edgy, but by the 8th or 9th it starts to feel as if you’re repeating yourself. Saying the same thing only plugging in different names or words. I feel this lately when I sit down to write, which perhaps is why I haven’t written in awhile.

But it’s like a marriage. It can’t be wonderful all the time. There are some phases of just existing in one another’s space. Your spouse talks and you begrudgingly listen because what else are you going to do? Hopefully the ebb and flow, ebbs and flows and doesn’t stay stagnant. So feel free to listen, feel free to tune me out, it’s completely up to you.

I have two set of parents. One set are the ones who raised me. They are amazingly supportive, smarter than the average joe off the street, loyal, open minded, hard working and simply the best. Parents #1 listen to mostly classical music. I was raised on Minnesota Public Radio.

My other parents are Jeannie and Todd. They’re my Jewish parents. Jeannie is actually one of my best friends. She’s actually one of my favorite people on this planet. *We’ve discussed this and she believes I feel this way because she fills my tummy with lots of good food. Aside from the deliciousness that happens in her kitchen, this woman is pretty amazing in other ways. So why do I need 2 sets of parents? Well I don’t. Some might say that is the only way I can accept unconditional love is through the lens of a child, whatever, you can ask my therapist about that. Jeannie and Todd are like parents because they are two of the most supportive, loving, kind, challenging and stable people in my life.

Part of this dynamic is me not listening to them. On this recent music discovery for me, it’s crazy how many artists I find myself fawning over, realizing, “oh I heard this in Jeannie’s car,” or “wasn’t Todd talking about these guys last week.” Well it turns out, their musical influence is quite powerful. But just like a teenager it has to be my finding and not them pushing their likes and dislikes at me.

Wow, to make a long story short (too late), I finally found Laura Marling. I found her through my Jewish parents. Would I have found her on my own, probably, maybe, perhaps not, but regardless I have. Her music is haunting, it’s sad, strong, sexy and emotional. Reading about her, she’s unlike 99% of the artists out there. A proclaimed introvert, Marling struggles with the limelight:

One gaze Marling feels no ambivalence towards, however, is that of the camera. “I think I’m pretty, but I fucking hate having my photo taken,” she explains. “On this album campaign, I was like fine, I’ll do a private photoshoot, and I’ll get 10 images and give them to all the papers and that’s all. And then every paper wants their own picture and they threaten you with ‘We won’t cover you if you don’t’, and that’s crazy. I’ve got much more important things to do than have my photograph taken.”

Taken from an interview by the Guardian this is a perfect example of how different she is from most musicians. I utterly respect this! It makes me enjoy her work even more. I am also fascinated with her feminism. She created a podcast titled Reversal of the Muse where she explores femininity in creativity through interviews with female artists, producers and engineers. She believes that there is a difference between how women learn and how men learn in the music industry.

She steps outside of her introversion to explore and that is literally how I move through this world. As I put together this post, I want to end it with a lyric from one of her songs, Goodbye England (Covered in Snow).

And I tried to be a girl who likes to be used

I'm too good for that.

There's a mind under this hat,

And I called them all and told them I've got to move.

Tonight, jewish mom and dad and I are going to see her play at First Avenue. There may be a swooning review afterwards, there may not.

I was kind of all over in this post, it was disconnected, but as mentioned above, sometimes you just have to continue through the slough.

#laura marling #feminine #jewish parents #marriage

[riverdamien]

Fast For Peace During Ramadan

Fast for Peace During Ramadan As the poet Rumi said “We are all the same… all the same… longing to find our way back… back to the One… back to the only One!” Whether there is an attack on a Synagogue in Pittsburgh, a Mosque in New Zealand, or a Christian church in Sri Lanka, it is an attack on all of us. We are all the same. God is in each of us and we are all part of God. When you are attacked, I am attacked; when I hurt, you hurt; when you feel joy, I feel joy. The Muslim holy observance of Ramadan began at sundown on May 5th and continues to June 4th. Each year, during the 9th month of the Islamic lunar calendar, 1.5 billion Muslims participate in this season when, from sunrise to sunset, they fast from food, drink, and general sinful behavior, such as violence, arguing, and lying. It is seen as an opportunity for Muslims to rediscover their own belief, improve their character, and ensure they bring benefit to society. The idea is to develop a deeper understanding of where you are and what you have in order to become a better person. Because we wish to stand in solidarity with our Muslim sisters and brothers, and honor their beliefs, we invite all our friends to join us in a day of fasting on Friday, May 17th. On this day, we as Franciscan Catholic Workers will fast in whatever way is possible for us individually. As we fast, we will pray for peace in all hearts, peace in all minds, and peace in our world. We hope you will sign up below to join us. We began our fast and today as we walked the streets our eyes felt the pain of the those who hunger. So as we fast during this time we have some understanding--but we will have a good meal at 8:04 p.m., for we truly have never had that experience. We have never had to struggle for food. For us following the practice of Ramadan reminds us that we are in solidarity with our Muslim friends, who worship the same God, but in a different expression. We are all the same. One God, with many faces. We are in solidarity with those who fight to eliminate homelessness and hunger. We came upon a non-profit that is approaching our election year in a way similar to what Dorothy Day believed, and we are joining with them in their efforts. JOIN WITH MARCH ON THE PENTAGON IN DUMPING THE EMPIRE! Take the Anti-Imperialist Pledge! by Cindy Sheehan & Jack Balkwill The thing that tends to hold us back when it comes to making a better country and a better world is the elephant in the room corporate media never sees: The Empire. It costs over one trillion dollars to maintain an empire, particularly when that empire goes against the interests of the majority of the people in the nation and most of the people on the planet. We spend ourselves into deep red ink on The Empire while supporters of The Empire implore us to cut what little is beneficial to the people of the nation and the world. For example, President Trump has asked that we cut things like Medicare and Social Security while simultaneously increasing “defense" spending and cutting taxes on the rich. We invite all voters in the United States to join us in dumping The Empire in the 2020 election. If a candidate insists on supporting The Empire, we pledge to not give them our vote or any campaign donations. Thanks to the obscene cost required by The Empire, the United States is the only industrialized country without a medical care system for its people, allowing thousands to die each year for lack of medical care. The United States drags its feet when it comes to environmental responsibilities because its wealth is not spent on wind turbines and solar panels—but on The Empire alone. The purpose of The Empire is to intimidate the world into toeing the line to laissez faire capitalism which benefits the plutocrats at the expense of the 99 percent. If The Empire were gone, the majority of the Earth’s inhabitants would be far better off with considerably more freedom, democracy, prosperity, peace and environmental sustainability. Unbeknownst to many, the U.S. Military Industrial Complex can arguably be accused of being the biggest environmental danger on the planet. To dismantle The Empire will mean to: End all of the wars. Shut down all of the overseas military bases. Bring all of the troops home. But this will not be easy. For those who don’t see the problem, perhaps this will help: A recent survey of 21 Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development nations revealed that 68% of the respondents want to tax the rich to help the poor. This is a universal desire that, decade after decade, goes unaddressed. What more could prove that we do not have democracies but plutocracies? However, the rich have had their taxes decreased for 70 years—decade after decade. Despite mainstream media screaming that our economy is booming, homelessness has increased for two years running. The majority of people want peace, but we get war. The majority of people want universal health care, but we get the deaths of thousands from a lack of health care. The majority of people want no or low-cost access to quality education but, we get horrible public education and prohibitively expensive university. We do not have anything remotely resembling a democracy. For those who think we have a republic, in a real republic there are representatives of the people who address the problems of the people, and that is not happening here. At March on the Pentagon, we encourage you to sign a pledge to dump The Empire in next year’s election. We invite you to withhold your vote until a candidate pledging to cut defense spending, end one or more wars, and close military bases abroad joins the playing field. While, as a non-partisan organization, we do not endorse or support any particular candidate, we hope to educate and inform like minded Americans of their options when it comes to each candidate’s stance on wars and US imperialism. We invite you to sign the pledge below and check back soon to see our shareable 2020 candidate scorecards! www.marchonpentagon.com/anti-imperialist-pledge Darrel Smith tells us: "Protest is not a sign of rebellion, or disconnection-at least, it shouldn't be. Quite to the contrary, protest should demonstrate love and investment. It should be a sign that we are so invested that we are not willing to settle or surrender. We protest because something or someone we care about is being hurt or diminished." Join us in our protest against the death penalty: Philip Workman Memorial Banquet Thursday, May 9, 2019 12 Noon; City Hall--Polk Street side We will be surviving vegetarian pizza sandwiches, making them Wednesday, if any one is interest email me at [email protected]. or call me at 415-314-1859. Fr. River Damien Sims, sfw, D.Min., D.S.T. P.O. Box 642656 San Francisco, CA 94164 www.temenos.org [email protected]