#i fuckin love the music and motifs in this show it’s so interesting

[owen-not-carvour]

why does mischa Not get the karnak’s theme motif in his own style over his bumper?? (ik jane doesn’t get it either but. she’s jane. it makes sense for her)

like is there an actual reason for it or do i just get to read to deep into it and form my own Over-analytical reasoning behind it :)

that being said—

methinks it’s to create Yet Another division between mischa and the rest of them. uraniumites (???sure???) v. Ukrainian yknow..

#hmmmm #i fuckin love the music and motifs in this show it’s so interesting #food for thoughts #i’ll consider it more later when my stomach doesn’t hurt lol #cant think when that happens yknow #anyway— #mischa bachinski #ride the cyclone

[downbytheriversside]

something you think that's underrated (show, music, ship, habit, animal, absolutely anything. can be multiple/a list. go wild)

Oh get ready to be here a while here we fuckin go...

Wind. It reminds me what it's like to be alive

Matt Maltese. Sad boy music that's so so good and makes me feel so much pain and catharsis. Also a lot of his songs are byler/Mike coded. You deserve an Oscar, shoe, everyone adores you, outrun the bear (byler will pov), as the world caves in, strange time (its second or third line is literally "and we'll both gladly lose our minds LIKE!!). Also paper thin hotel is tom wambsgan's song, and tom wambsgan's alone.

Lucas GODDAMN Sinclair. Need I say more? Doesn't matter cus I'm gonna- I genuinely believe he's the best written and performed character in the whole show, he's my sweet child ray of sunshine I love him dlfkgkfdn and he would NOT be the same without what Caleb brings to the table in his performance. And since day ONE he fucking ATE I keep putting EMPHASIS on so many WORDS but I digress. I do understand the problems with some of his writing which sucks but he is still incredible and you can tell that Caleb cares so much about him which I always love to see

The oh hellos album dear wormwood. Omg. Omfg. It's fucking TRANSCENDENT. ANYONE READING THIS WHO HAS GONE THROUGH/IS GOING THROUGH A TOXIC OR ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP OF ANY KIND LISTEN TO THIS IT IS SO HEALING. Not only is it cathartic asf but it depicts the anger and regret and pain and resignation and fucking every emotion under the sun that you experience in those kinds of relationships. And just how connected all of the songs are. The album itself is a loop, seriously. The last part of Thus Always to Tyrants (the final song on the album) leads right into the beginning of Prelude. And while we're on the subject of thus always to tyrants can we talk about how fucking impactful it is to end the album on that note? On a bittersweet toast to the people who hurt us because there is no getting rid of what they did, only making yourself stronger from it and healing?!!? About the notion that what they did was terrible but that is something you'll never forget because you can't but you're moving on to better things, wondering if they will change/have changed from who you knew them as?!??! ARE YOU FUCKNG KIDDING ME!!!!! AND just how connected the lyrics and melodies are in all of the songs. I've listened to the whole album easily over a hundred times and I still notice new lines that relate to each other or when bg melodies in one song are the main motif (?) of another. You can tell how much care and thought and love and emotion was put into its creation and I love it so so so much. Also if you dear reader do not want to spend 40 min listening to the album please please please just listen to Pale White Horse and Where is Your Rider. Oh. My. Fucking. God. Jesus fuck these songs. I'm just typing about them and I got chills like. I'm not joking at all when I say these songs actually changed my life. And the interconnectedness of them (sorta like a horse and its rider?) is just so special. They're whole fucking experiences to listen to and I will never get tired of it. Aaaaaaaahhh I wanna keep talking about this album but we'd be here for a long long long time but I might make a post about it if anyone was actually interested on my music blog @lyricsdumblikethelinoleumfloor at some point so. Stick around for that ?

Forehead kisses. We need more of those pls

Sincerity. For the love of the night sky. BE EARNEST! BE SINCERE!! BE GENUINE I WILL FUCKING STAB YOU-

Little thumb rubs while holding hands

My mutuals all of you deserve love and appreciation and tenderness every one of you fuckers I love you all <33333

Cucumbers. Shit fucks

LIBRARIES! Please if you can visit your local library, it'll be so lovely I prommy

Humans committing to silly bits together. And just like building off of each other's energy. One of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed and that I'm so grateful to have experienced

Introspection. For the love of fuck pleaaaase more people need this. Everyone needs to practice introspection idc just do it it's not some shameful act it just helps you grow

Peach flavoured things. They're yummy 😋

My ever growing gnome figurine collection pretty underrated imo kinda flying under the radar imho

Burger King foot lettuce

Laying on the floor and doing nothing. 10/10 activity honestly. Especially when you're in a sun spot shit fucks

And that's m'list! Glad you made it to the end, sorry for the long post

#nonnie you shouldn't have told me to go wild look what youve done #AND you made me be sappy. reveal yourself i need to know who did this #askings

[sanstropfremir]

ok alright alright alright kingdom episode two

kinda disappointed that they only showed half the stages, but that's just an editing thing to draw out the content so you can air for longer, i'm not super surprised about that. i would have liked to evaluate them all at the same time, but at least this gives me time to go more in depth for all of them since they're full stages this time and I wrote 3000 words for last episode when they only had 100 secs. so this format will probably keep me sane for longer, i think. 

solid stages all round for them, none had especially glaring flaws on the whole. i'm not gonna do a full ranking for this episode since we haven't seen them all, but i will say that btob’s was my favourite from this set and both ikon’s and tbz’s stages were about equal; they both had things i liked and disliked in equal measure so i'm tentatively giving them the same ranking. full opinions and analysis on each stage below the cut, plus another section of general notes because hey what the fuck did you do to that stage mnet???

and for anyone that’s wondering yes i do have the qualifications. also seriously grab a drink or something because this is LONG.

some general notes

and here i thought this section wouldn't be as big as it was last time because mnet was going to get their shit together about the stage design, but noooooooooooo they had to go and make it worse! thanks mnet i hate it! remember how i said you shot yourself in the foot last time? well ya fuckin kneecapped yourself AND all your idols with this one ya dumb fuckin idiots. alright folks welcome back to stage design 101, my recurring segment where i explain the different types of stage layouts and their effectiveness for kpop idol survival shows, i guess.

ok so last week i covered the basics on theatre in the round and traverse staging, which i’ll link here if there’s anyone new or just wants a refresher. i mentioned that its likely that mnet will switch to an in the round style staging because it offers a lot more freedom for camera movement and also for directional blocking. well, i was wrong. so i'm gonna give you a quick rundown of prosceniums. a proscenium, proscenium arch, or just prosc, is an architectural feature that sits around the front ‘opening’ of the stage that delineates the stage from the audience. if you've ever been in or seen any pictures of old european style theatres it can be quite ornately decorated with scrolling, but it's almost always there in most western theatres. it basically provides your ‘wings,’ which are where you exit off into to get offstage, they provide cover from the audience sitelines. pretty much any theatre where the audience is directly opposing the stage across the 180 degree line is a proscenium stage, even if it doesn't physically have the arch. hell, movie theatres are prosc stages. now, there's a secondary architectural feature/device called a false proscenium, where you set a second, smaller archway inside the first prosc, usually done for a specific effect. think of it like a literal framing device; it's often used to visually signify that ‘this is a play, we are telling a story, please be aware that this is a play thank you.’ but sometimes, it can be a semi-permanent structure that’s set in place to narrow the prosc opening. we had this at my university, there was a false prosc set just inside the actual prosc because the stage had a hilariously big prosc opening for a university that never had casts larger than 24 people. so they set false prosc in to make the stage slightly narrower and to widen the wings, because it doesn't matter what size theatre you're in, you always need more wingspace. makes sense? ok, now here’s a very quick drawing of what i'm pretty sure the kingdom stage looks like:

before you get lost: stage directions are oriented to a person standing on the stage, hence SL and SR being reversed. a quick tip for remembering which way is upstage and which is downstage: if you go too far downstage you fall down (most stages are raised between 2-4’ from the floor, so if you step off the end you will actually fall.) the arrows on here signify the entrances i observed during the performances, which is not necessary in this explanation but i just thought it was interesting to note. still not entirely sure what the surrounding architecture is but it appears that the stage is a raised platform inside a room, and not actually built as part of the building. the ‘house’ is just a technical term for where the audience is, and in this case it's where it looks like most of the film crew and the producers/staff are. there’s pretty clearly a platform upstage centre, and i think there may be some others but i don't care about those right now. what i want to talk about is this dumbass false prosc they set IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STAGE. now i suspect that they did this to solve some problems that they could have had that i don't know about, since i don't know who the stage designer was and what the actual limitations of the space are. but basically they've built two stages and stacked them on top of each other to create one very deep stage, and then separated it off with a false prosc in order to control the size of the space a little better, and possibly to add some visual interest. this stage is functional for its purpose, absolutely, and i think, if mnet actually gave a shit about point of view and camerawork, it could produce some really interesting performances. however, because this stage is so deep, it kind of has the same properties as the traverse stage from before, but just with some big led screens in the middle for reasons. you extra have to pay attention to the directionality because you have all the staff and cameras concentrated in one specific cardinal point, so you have to get creative if you want to crossover between the two sides frequently. again, this is not necessarily bad; restrictions often produce some of the most creative decisions.  but! we have not seen a lot of consideration for camera and sightlines and audience pov, hence why i think this setup is dumb: it’s not facilitating the best performances it could.

ok now to the actual performances

btob

this is my favourite of the group because it's very clean lined and utilizes a few simple devices to pretty good effect. i realize these reviews are making me sound like i only like simple performances but i promise this is not at all true i'm just very critical and very picky. let’s start with the costumes, because why not. 

costumes

i like these very much, i love modernized traditional clothing in all forms, and these are very well tailored and well coordinated. they do the bulk of the work establishing the theme for the performance, along with the costumes on the backup dancers. personally i would have liked them to be a bit more colourful, à la the teal detailing that was on minhyuk’s final look. i'm getting a bit tired of the whole trend of having groups only wear all dark or all white, or maybe sometimes red if they're feeling spicy. obviously uniform colour is the easiest way to tie a group together visually, but on a show like this i think the groups would actually benefit more from looking distinct from each other internally rather than establishing the group as whole.

i liked that minhyuk had a costume change but i didn't really care for how it was how it was broken down. this is a very personal quibble because i literally have spent years prepping quickchanges but the method it broke down wasn’t the most visually compatible with the garment and felt kinda clunky. please ignore this anecdote it's just me being picky.

set

i loved the forest! a very excellent way to divide the stage area and obscure the weird stage lines/architecture that mnet has made. plus the snow, flowers, and fog? makes a really sharp and immediately indicative atmosphere, a very good use of visual shorthand to establish place.

i didnt love the screens, they reminded me a bit too much of rolling whiteboards from grade school, but they are thematically relevant. also, i feel like we didnt actually get to see about half the choreo for them? fuckin mnet and idiocy again. fun use of rear projection with the dancers’ shadows, and also good use of them to direct traffic, if you will. 

personally i think that the sheet gimmick from tbz’s performance would have been a better fit here instead of the screens, especially since the fabric motif was already established at the very beginning of the performance. plus you can do some really fun shadow work with a stretch fabric screen. 

personally i think there could have been a little bit more integration between the forest area and the screen area, or they could have done the whole thing in the forest space, but that would require a bit more consideration of camera and choreo maneuverability

sound

really liked this arrangement, obviously the song is iconic but they added a more traditional instrument sound. has good structure for the loose narrative that they had and they were well to label this as ‘theatre’ version because this did follow very closely to a traditional musical theatre sound and style

lighting

no complaints. the overall theme for this episode is apparently blue and red? again with them i like their dedication to a limited colour palette and i especially like the blossoms at the climax

staging

there was pretty clear camera choreo and a minimum of nausea inducing moves. i think some of the effectiveness of the staging got chopped by the editing but that’s not really btob’s fault.

i was just saying i wanted them to give minhyuk some time to shine, i was not expecting to get it so soon! this is a very smart choreo that proves you can be interesting without doing a lot of tricking. minhyuk obviously did a lot of practice and work with that sword, his movements are very fluid and he knows how to handle it. and it looks like its either a blunted proper blade or a correctly weighted replica. a lot of the times when sword choreo looks fake it's because the person either hasn't had enough practice or the weapon is not weighted/weighted incorrectly. only complaints are that you would never hold your fingers/palm that close and un-anchored over the edge of the blade, which is just a safety thing. also you would never scrape your blade on the ground like that, nor toss the thing like dead fish but that's a respect thing with a live blade and this is clearly done for dramatic effect so i’ll forgive it. please ignore this anecdote also it’s just my third dan getting uppity.

ikon

costume/set

smart thematically to go with the sort of miscellaneous 30s-40s (western) aesthetic because it's the fastest way to make it look like you built a theme with mnet’s weird pseudo art deco nonsense they've inexplicably got going on in the set dec. however, they should have stuck the theme all the way through, it would have been more visually cohesive and more interesting. we expect more hiphop/electronic sounding songs to come with these kinds of 4th gen costumes, it would have been anachronistic in a fun way to have them do that second half in 40s style suits. here’s a performance from sdc3 that uses that kind of anachronistic play (this was a combo stage with two ballroom dancers and it has a 20s aesthetic but close enough.) also here’s another routine from sdc3 that does a similar effect on a much more abstract scale, and also it’s a fucking incredible performance and it got slept on by the captains. also yes i know these are incredibly experienced career dancers but they way they construct narrative within their routines and their stage presence is SO GOOD. 

do not speak to me about the backup dancers costumes, holy shit i hate them. i hate them so much. how do you manage to hit too shapeless AND too fitted in the same fell swoop? i'm so mad at these. i'm neutral on bodycon dresses on the best of days but these were absolutely the wrong choice for this stage. generally kpop has abysmal costuming for female backup dancers on the whole but this is just like.....especially lazy. the point of the costume are to help give an indication of where and when you set your performance. they started off with a vaguely 40s theme and then jumped abruptly modern. why? also skirts like that are the literal worst choice for dancing in, hello?? the men’s looks are just sloppy, when you have a garment that big you want it to serve a purpose within the choreo, whereas with this it's just hiding the dancers’ movements.

as for ikon themselves, see everything ive said about black on black on black styling in the previous two reviews. 

the actual set is minimal and that's tragic. i mentioned mnet’s weird art deco theme and it was smart of them to try and play off that with a lack of stuff. definitely a mismatch of stuff pulled from yg’s prop storage, but they made it work as well as they could. no other meaningful comments i’m just kinda sad about it.

sound

the arrangement is fine, no complaints from me. they keyed up the old hollywood style musical theatre sound in the beginning which i really liked. i didn't mind the song/tone switch, i think they pulled it off.

staging

same as btob they learned more towards a theatrical style, which is smart for this particular format of show. i think this was the smartest staging of these three, and also i think the only ones to not get the crew in shot.

despite seemingly leaning into a more old hollywood style the narrative was a bit too loose for my taste. i'm not sure what i would have done to make it clearer at this moment since they had so little to work with, but i did get by on my previous knowledge of the songs. that shouldn’t be the only indication of narrative though! all elements need to support it!!

also like btob they had a pretty intentional point of direction and there weren't a crazy amount of spins. they also used the camera cuts the most effectively that i've seen so far. the first half is actually all in one take!!! incredible!!! thank you!!!! this is how you do it!!

the lighter flick gimmick was well pulled off and a good example of how to use a couple of simple tricks to good effect.

ikon as a whole has really great stage chemistry with each other, and they're extremely cohesive performers. this is a really strong physical performance from them, the dance was very solid and clean. good use of levels without verging into acrobatics. this might be the best group choreo i've seen so far, but we’re not very far so that's not a very high bar to clear.

it's a shame they had the budget of 1 banana.

tbz

i liked this stage better than their intro stage, but i still think they have a long way to go and they're still over ambitious. personally i find stages based on specific pop culture properties to be kind of twee and ineffectual, because it requires a specific knowledge of that pop culture property to work. sometimes the specificity can help with a narrative but you're at risk of alienating a larger portion of your audience out of sheer non-knowledge than anything else. 

costumes

again, interesting garments physically, but not much clarity of relation to the theme other than the colour. also the backup dancers???? another case of backup dancers being from an entirely different stage, what is up with those coats/dresses? looked more like they belonged in either sweeney todd or a vampire movie. 

hands in front of the camera again, but these were used much more effectively.  i'm not the biggest fan of mixing metals and i’m partial to silver on the whole so i didn't love the jewelry, but at least it was vague and stereotypical enough to denote ‘fire magic’ even if it does rely on a derivative middle eastern shorthand.

set

the stage set itself is fine, although definitely feels a bit haphazard to me. doric columns and frozen rocks and whatever that cover for the pyrotechnics was at the front, combined with the candles and the chaise lounge? like ikon, it felt a bit like they were pulling out of the props/set storage. not that all these things do not work together, it's just that you need a thread to tie them together, and this didn't have that for me.

sound

it's a crime they have a song called ‘no air’ and its not a jordin sparks cover. just saying.

i didnt really like this arrangement, again like their intro stage it didn't have a strong structure that suited the narrative, because they were pretty clearly trying a narrative on this one. also were most of the adlibs playback? they were singing live but there were so few shots of anyone specific singing. 

lighting

probably the weakest of the three. the projection design was a bit too tacky for me, and although i appreciated the small amount of variety in colour, it felt way too concert-lighting for me.

staging

the editing on this stage is wack and did no one any good. the hands leading/pov was a really smart device and they should have stuck out the one takes like ikon did, it would have made the whole stage feel a bit more cohesive. a lot better directional camerawork from them this time around, well done. again with the hands in front of the camera gimmick which i actually preferred this time, since they were a part of the narrative. the stretch/silhouette fabric i think they pulled off quite well, even if it didn't really fit thematically with the piece. i actually worked on a show a very long time ago that used this exact same effect with dancers and also rear shadow projection, and it requires a lot of rehearsal and trust to pull off well, so props to them. i think it was the wrong choice because there isn't an established motif for the fabric, so it kind of appears out of nowhere for one specific visual moment and then disappears, and i think that time could have been better served for something else narratively relevant.

again, these 4th gen groups are overly focussed on gimmicks as a way to make up for the lack of experience. personally i think this will be detrimental in the long run, and a reliance on gimmicks means that you don't trust your performers. tbz have the manpower to be doing some pretty cool collective dance work and i dont think its being trained or utilized correctly. they are suffering from a lack of cohesive stage presence right now and that can be fixed with training and time.

this might be because the group sizes are so different between these three but this choreo is very directionless. mnet is also providing to be absolute garbage at editing and i feel like i can't see the choreo at all.

this is a thing i've noticed with kpop camerawork in general, there’s very little regard for actually viewing the choreo as a singular work. and for some reason the camera always needs to be moving???? people do actually want to see what’s happening on the stage. the choreographer can only see from one spot, so from that spot is how they are intending it to look. you wouldn't need to upload full cams of every music stage if you just filmed the choreo properly in the first place. if you watch the two sdc3 clips i linked you can see a clear difference in maintaining the integrity of the choreo, even though both shows use several cameras and a lot of cuts.  obviously for kpop you want the money shots of idols’ faces but i definitely think there’s a healthier middle ground than what we have now.

ill wait for full subs but i want to know where in the fuck in sk you can rent a tank thas clearly been custom made for underwater photography, because that’s extremely cool even if it was absolutely unnecessary to the actual stage itself. i can think of several ways off the top of my head that would have achieved that same freezing effect without any of that wasted time and effort.

mnet decided to drop full cams while i was writing this and despite watching those my opinions are the same.

in conclusion, some more general thoughts:

i think ikon and btob got it right by leaning more into the theatrical than the cinematic, if that makes sense. i might be talking up my own ass here but these are theatre performances, and they should be treated as such. trying to do things that you can do on film isn't going to do you any favours in the long run, and it makes it harder to make a cohesive performance. i’m harping a lot about narrative but it is so important to performance. although it is not technically necessary, when doing big theatrical performance stages like this it does help with clarity of intent and general success. humans have brains structured around storytelling, it is literally the way our history has been passed down for tens of thousands of years. the atlantic published an article recently on narrative and memory, and it's a really excellent read for maybe after you've taken a break from this behemoth, oh dear god. 

tldr: the stages were good but disappointing in their own ways. mnet continues to sabotage via weird stage design decisions and bad editing. see you next week! (or in my ask box if you have questions)

#kingdom review #kpop analysis #kingdom #oh dear lord this is almost 4k #to anybody that actually reads this thank you and im sorry #text

[cattles-bians]

exes au part 15

post directory

em: viola teas i am like. incapable of sleeping in

em: i woke up 10:30 on the dot and i thought. what the fuck

em: 10:30 is especially offensive bc it means the mcdonald’s breakfast is done

obsetress: brain immediately said viola up and about doing all the chores vacuuming with no sympathy for her constantly sleeping in snoring girlfriend dani clayton

obsetress: but nah i'm sorry for you that sucks

em: inspiring deranged viola behaviour is

em: the greatest gift of all

obsetress: god so true when u think about it

obsetress: not that viola vacuums, she def has cleaners but

obsetress: actually no

obsetress: she has cleaners but she's prob not satisfied and gets out her expensive vacuum she has no idea how to use and is clattering n making such a fuss

obsetress: and poor dani

em: she’s up and about rearranging things, she’s causing a ruckus,

obsetress: dani's like "you have just as bad insomnia as me and you're just... getting up? that early?"

obsetress: viola shrugs "i don't need that much sleep"

obsetress: "you do, though"

obsetress: she shrugs and disappears into the kitchen

obsetress: insomniac gf and insomniac gf

em: insomnia gfs

em: viola runs on like

em: supernatural element carrying over: viola is a little too good at running on no sleep and no one knows if she ages

obsetress: YEAH

em: i love a sorta, grounded real life show w like one or two unexplained ambiguously supernatural things that no one blinks at

obsetress: i was gonna be like

obsetress: i wonder what dani and viola do when theyre up not sleeping at night and then i was like

obsetress: Well,

obsetress: no they do that but they also do the most random borderline unhinged shit like

obsetress: dani tries new baking recipes and they sit on the countertop in their pjs or underwear or nothing and eat scones at three am

em: go for night drives

em: night drives aren’t even unhinged but they’re nice

em: but they don’t listen to music they listen to fucken podcasts

obsetress: that fuckin lorde song

[em note: it's supercut]

obsetress: they go to the roof and dani lays her head in viola's lap and stares at the stars while viola reads to her in french

obsetress: ugh i put it on oh god why did i put it on

[em note: it's still supercut]

obsetress: in my head.........

obsetress: i do everything right............

obsetress: when you call............

obsetress: i'll forgive and not fight.............

obsetress: ours are the moments.........i play in the dark OH MY GOD VI'S INSOMNIA AFTER DANI LEAVES AND SHES ALONE

em: ur a MONSTER

obsetress: i need to lay on the floor and put this song on repeat

obsetress: anyway um

obsetress: another thought from when i was thinking about the vacuum like

obsetress: viola has a degree of learned helplessness that all rich people have but she's not an idiot like the rest of them yknow and i think like

obsetress: she had to do a lot when she and perdita were kids!

obsetress: after her mom died

em: hannah......

obsetress: and then after her dad died before she married arthur and like

obsetress: then being a single mom (viola lloyd single mom i'm drooling) even w all the help she can afford

obsetress: she has a chip on her shoulder and Does Things For Herself but also just

obsetress: sometimes it happens! there's never enough time and never enough help!

obsetress: and she loves isabel so much like

obsetress: viola making isabel her lunches

obsetress: oh god

em: making her little lunches at like 2am bc it’s been a busy day and she’s tired and she’s sore and she’s sad but the one thing viola will never skip is like

em: making sure isabel gets her lunches

em: hey what is wrong with us

obsetress: GOD YEAH

obsetress: EXACTLY

obsetress: HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS THINKING ABOUT HER MAKING THEM AT TWO AM UGH

obsetress: anyway um yeah viola making isabel her lunches at two am

obsetress: i know that i wrote jamie leaving flora notes on her napkins but like

[em note: read 'and she taught me a lesson alright']

obsetress: i just think it's something a mom who really loves her kid and wants them to feel safe and okay would do so i want to say vi does it for isabel too!!! and what of it they're different universes it's fine

em: ur just building the hannah obsetress cinematic universe

em: building up some Themes and Motifs

obsetress: themes motifs and symbols

obsetress: anyway viola packing isabels lunches she writes little notes and puts on lipstick n kisses them

obsetress: so isabel can get a kiss from her mom

em: im going to kill u w my bare hands

obsetress: cut to vi in the bathroom wiping it off later à la jennifer check

em: im GONNA

obsetress: sometimes when vi has to go out of town for business or w/e she leaves a stack of napkins with arthur to put in isabel's lunch so she can still get a kiss from her mom even when she's gone

em: thats so extra??

em: its so viola

obsetress: exactly

obsetress: she definitely has a fear of isabel favoring arthur over her (abandonment issues etc etc)

obsetress: gestures at canon

—-

em: dani 'its casual' taylor

obsetress: leave the typo

obsetress: dont you dare change it

em: i need u to know that i DO fuck but

em: hgfngjkyhGJBJKFHD FUCK

em: ruined my own joke

obsetress: in the most spectacular way

em: dani 'i need you to know i DO fuck but im accepting offers' clayton

obsetress: she takes care to drop that like

obsetress: it's just casual SHE'S not anything serious. i'm not dating HER or anything

obsetress: jamie's like dani i know you're gay you literally stare at my lips every time i talk

em: dani getting off the phone and dramatically rolling her eyes like 'ex girlfriends, am i right? whats up with these women i-' and jamies like love i get it

obsetress: jamie raising her eyebrows "how many ex girlfriends do you have"

obsetress: dani's like "well, just the one, but"

em: but i COULD have more. if i wanted to. bc i am looking to date more women

em: jamies like ok cool

obsetress: jamie, a little too casually: oh? any, uh. prospects?

em: danis like (patented nervous dani lip bite) maybe but

em: jamies like drat

em: jamies like darn

em: and then she gets home and shes like

em: wait

obsetress: jamie calling dani back "when you said maybe"

obsetress: and dani immediately is like yEAH?

em: jamies like do you think you could ever be interested in me and danis like umm. yeah.

em: jamie hangs up like ok cool

em: long beat

obsetress: oh my GOD

em: REDIALS

---

obsetress: ok last thing i was gonna say

obsetress: i meant to say this earlier and got distracted a hundred times over

obsetress: but um imagine dani helping isabel with her english homework

obsetress: vi helping isabel with her math homework

em: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

em: SOFT

obsetress: well,

em: oh no

obsetress: isabel needing help w her english homework post dani and vi's trying to help and vi's smart n all but

em: get HELP

---

em: dani 'hooking up w my ex is actually a v girlboss of me' is SO funny to me

em: when they get together danis like, oh but havent we all- and jamies like nooo i have very good boundaries

em: except for the perdi vi psychosexual power play ig

obsetress: moment of weakness

obsetress: who wouldn't want to hook up w their hot boss

—

obsetress: when dani goes up to london whatever weekend like friday night to get her closure dinner with vi

obsetress: boom haircut and therapy reveal

em: 3 day bender u say

obsetress: all of a sudden it's sunday night and

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: they spend

obsetress: all fucking weekend

obsetress: in vi's bed

em: sighs dreamily

obsetress: dani playing with her hair

obsetress: "this is nice"

obsetress: "i'm gonna miss your bun though"

obsetress: vi's brain is short circuiting at "i'm gonna miss"

em: later danis like look. jamie. what would you have done? and jamie chokes on her beer and splutters 'not fuck my ex for 3 days straight?!'

obsetress: dani "well you've never fucked v–– oh wait"

obsetress: "you really can't blame me, jamie, you KNOW" jamie: (grumbles)its different... dani: well i mean i guess, technically, you didnt,

obsetress: unrelated in some bad fight at the end vi is like "you can't go isabel needs a–– you're like her–––" and dani's like "a what? say it" and viola's too stubborn and proud and hurt to say it

em: just perpetually bouncing back to the worlds angstiest break up

obsetress: i don't know WHY

obsetress: as someone who HATES ANGST

obsetress: i am so DRAWN to these two

em: its ummmm weirdly cathartic??

em: the whole exes au is based on a joke about them being friends and exes. we are v firm in like. viola and dani reconcile!

em: idk i love a catharsis moment! i love it when a character claws their way to happiness. or even begrudgingly goes to therapy

em: viola can go through a little hell as a treat

obsetress: turns out the only one who could fix her in the end

obsetress: was the one who said it's not my job to fix you

em: dani transformative power of (platonic) love

obsetress: "Platonic"

#the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au

[365days365movies]

January 15, 2021: Casino Royale (2006) (Part 1)

So...we meet again, Bond. What’ve you been doing for the past few years?

...What. Not who, James, WHAT. Jeez.

Whatever. BrosBond had 3 movies after GoldenEye, and they were...not great, from what I’ve heard. Remember, I wasn’t as big of a fan of GoldenEye as many critics and fans were; so, I can’t imagine what I’d think of the latter three. Maybe one day, but not today!

Today, I’m focusing my sights on the revitalization of the brand. See, in 2002, Die Another Day came out, and that movie was apparently crazy. TOO crazy. So crazy, in fact, that audiences and critics accused it of losing the plot, and the production studio in charge (Eon Productions) had a yearning to change direction. And their inspiration came from...a surprising place.

See, Joel Schumacher’s campy, over-the-top Batman films were basically wiped out by Christopher Nolan’s 2005 reinvention of the character in Batman Begins. Which is, in my opinion, a highly underrated classic, Seriously. And in 2005, this film was absolutely a smash-hit. Batman was cool again, which a lot of people never thought would happen in film. Eon saw this, and thought...how can we apply that to Bond?

Out with Brosnan...in with Craig.

The first of the new, darker, reinvented Bond films is planned for release in 2006, starring Daniel Craig as the suave, sophisticated spy. And the director of the film was selected to be...Martin Campbell? From GoldenEye? The guy who kinda sorta started the modern over-the-top Bond? Really? I mean, OK. The writers this time are different...except for one. I didn’t talk about the writers last time because I don’t like putting people on blast if I don’t gotta. This time...maybe. We’ll see.

If this Casino Royale is basically Bond Begins, I’m definitely interested. Maybe this’ll revitalize that Bond-love from the Connery days. Let’s find out! We’re also gonna look at the Bond checklist again!

Gadgets: better have more cool gadgets than GoldenEye, I swear...

Bond Girl: GoldenEye’s Natalya wasn’t bad, to be honest; let’s see who his Inevitable Love Interest is this time.

Villain: Alec Trevelyan had so much potential. I need my dastardly villain, let’s do this. Oh, and let’s throw the henchman in here, too. Xenia Onatopp was...a lot...but she was a memorable henchman, at least.

Music: Of course. GoldenEye’s theme was good, and we’ll see how 2006 does.

OK, movie time. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

We start at an office building in Prague, where a man makes his way up to his office. Waiting there for him is, of course, James Bond (Daniel Craig). The man is Dryden, section chief at the British Embassy in Prague, whom M has accused of selling secrets, a big no-no. But Bond...isn’t a double-0 agent. Huh. You got me interested.

Apparently, agents get the two zeroes once they’ve killed two people on file. James hadn’t killed anyone...until recently. Which is when we get this.

OH SHIT

This is an absolutely BRUTAL fight. It’s not choreographed flashily, it’s not pretty...it’s rough. It’s intense. And it’s...oh my God, wow. Made me feel it. And what’s astonishing is that it’s SO short.

On learning this, Dryden tells him not to worry, the second one is...

...YOU GOT ME. I’M IN FOR THE FUCKIN’ RIDE

HOW??? How is it that in 3 minutes of screentime, I’m already more satisfied by Craig’s Bond than I was for the ENTIRETY of GoldenEye? That is masterfully done, right off the bat. WOW. We even get a smooth-as-silk segue into the classic bullet turret sequence, and that takes us right into the song and opening credits. And...wow.

Here’s the thing about Bond openings, as I mentioned last time: they were all directed by one guy up until GoldenEye, and were basically all silhouetted women with themes and scenes from the movie projected around them. The Brosnan movies followed suit, always having silhouetted women in one way or another. Die Another Day used CGI women and...a really bad Madonna song. It was...it is NOT GOOD, guys. Look it up, it’s the most 2002 thing I’ve ever heard.

But here’s the fin bit about Casino Royale. This is the first Bond movie opening with no women in it. Yeah. It’s the first one. And the song is Chris Cornell’s You Know My Name, and it’s good! Not sure it’s going in my soundtrack, though.

Finally, the opening credits sequence itself: it’s once again Daniel Kleinman doing it, and it’s actually inspired by the first James Bond book Casino Royale, which had already had a TV special and unofficial Bond movie made from it! The cover had a playing card motif, and the opening carries over that motif creatively. I really dig it, if I’m honest! Definitely a welcome break from the 44 years of Bond films preceding it.

Uganda! And we meet the villain of this film: Le Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen). And GODDAMN if that isn’t a Bond villain! He’s a banker, making a deal with a rebel leader, Steven Obanno (Isaach de Bankole), via their liason Mr. White (Jesper Christiensen). Setting up an attack by supplying Obanno with money, he sells his stocks of a company called Skyfleet, knowing that they’re about to fail.

Meanwhile, a ferret’s fighting an Asian species of cobra. In Madagascar. My zoology senses are EXPLODING, OH my God. So much wrong there. Anyway, there’s a bombmaker in the crowd watching the fight. He’s being tailed by Bond and another agent, Carter, who tips off the guy by being a bad spy. Bond chases him to a construction yard. What now, James?

Awesome. Why is this awesome when I said that the tank was dumb? Because at least it makes sense for a bulldozer to go haywire in a construction yard, just sayin’. Plus, this dude clearly isn’t the best, as he fires on construction workers and cops.

Eventually, this chase sequence brings us to the top of a crane, where this exchange happens.

I, uh...I love this movie already. That’s goddamn great.

The chase scene as a whole is also fantastic, as it continues off the bridge and into an abandoned building, then escalates into the streets, brings in law enforcement, and eventually ends with Bond at an embassy, facing down both the military and the bomb maker. He kills the guy, shoots some gas tanks, grabs the bomb, and then gets the hell out of there.

...Y’know what, that was fucking amazing, but he also almost certainly caused an international incident there. And I should be annoyed about that, but guess what! It makes sense! This is an inexperienced Bond, one who’s JUST been promoted to 00 status as 007, as the prologue explained. So, y’know what? I’m into it!

Cut to a yacht, like you do in a Martin Campbell Bond film. There, we have our villain, Le Chiffre, playing a card game. Also, he weeps blood. Yeah. HE WEEPS BLOOD.

OK, if that isn’t some Bond villain shit, I don’t know WHAT is. He’s also asthmatic, because I love it. I love it so much. He’s a mathematically-brilliant asthmatic that weeps blood. More, please. 

He’s also a person aware of what Bond did at the embassy, as it’s already become an international incident! Thank you for showing consequences, movie! Damn! I love it! This has two additional consequences. One, Le Chiffre notes that the code “Ellipsis” used by the bomber may be soon to expire, indicating a connection between the two. And the second consequence? M’s pissed.

M! DAME JUDI DENCH! One of my favorite things about GoldenEye was bringing in Judi Dench as M, and she made it through the reboot! And she’s still as entertaining as she was before, calling Bond out for his stupidity, and explaining that she misses the Cold War.

In her apartment, M does her normal exposition schtick, and her interactions with Bond are fantastic here. She’s understandably angry at him, and gives him what for, but she’s also clearly impressed that he FIGURED OUT WHERE SHE LIVES, as well as her REAL NAME. Shows her opinion of Bond and aspects of Bond’s character in a single, masterful stroke. 

Well. Goddamn. Done.

The Bahamas! Bond’s here to find Alex Dimitrios (Simon Abkarian), a Greek businessman who’s believed to have a connection with Le Chiffre himself. And, as James Bond is wont to do, he finds him at a party, playing cards. And here’s where the reinvention of Bond comes full circle.

See, Bond’s doing all the typical Bond things, yeah. But there are some differences present here, as well as some neat nuances. Bond isn’t wearing the suit, first of all. He actually hasn’t worn a suit the whole movie, which makes perfect sense for a spy. Suits aren’t exactly the least conspicuous thing in the world; bound to get you noticed if you don’t want to be.

And then, there’s the girl. This is Solange Dimitrios (Catherina Murino), the wife of Alex who was treated BADLY by him at the party. That gives her a reason to take Bond’s offer for a ride to his place, outside of just his raw animalistic charm that he seems to have in some of these movies. Look at that, already more chemistry than he had with Natalya in GoldenEye.

And yes, this results in her cheating on Alex. Is her cheating justified from a moral standpoint? No, of course it isn’t. And of course, this leads to the typical Bond-handsome-sex-GOOD sequence, but again, some nuance here! First of all, he doesn’t win her over with corny clever lines, like what we saw in GoldenEye multiple ties. Second, this is actually all an attempt to get some infomation from her about her husband. Bond might be enjoying it, but his womanizing here actually has a purpose. And that’s rare!

That’s further punctuated by the fact that he STRAIGHT UP LEAVES BEFORE ANYTHING HAPPENS. Yeah, she tells him that Alex just made his way to Miami, and he leaves! Dick move, yeah, but it makes sense! James isn’t here for pleasure, he’s here for work!

He follows Alex to a Bodies at Work exhibit (you know, the preserved and skinned cadavers put into poses that used to tour around the USA? I saw it in Times Square at the end of its popularity. A little ghoulish, maybe, but I think it’s pretty cool), where the two of them get in a very tense close-up knife fight in public.

Alex is dead, but not before passing off a package to someone else at the exhibition. Bond tails the guy to Miami International Airport, where the largest airplane in the world is set to be unveiled. Using the code sent to the bombers, Bond gets into the back, and goes to intercept the disguised bomber who’s set to blow up the SkyChonk (I mean it, that giant airplane is THICCC).

Time for another cool chase sequence! Some luggage is destroyed, along with a bus, the cops join in on the chase, an airplane is prevented from landing (making someone on that plane probably very upset), and Bond somehow manages to prevent the plane from blowing up. And it’s by the SKIN of his teeth, lemme tell you. Also, he blows up a dude with his own flashlight bomb.

Nice. Somehow, Bond isn’t arrested, and makes his way back to the Bahamas. And it looks like Solange isn’t the Bond girl after all. Because she was thought to be the information leak (which she was, to an extent), she was tortured to death. Whoof.

M’s in the Bahamas now, and the exposition continues. She’s done with Bond’s bullshit, and she plants a tracker under his skin. She explains that with the big boi plane destroyed, somebody stood a lot to gain financially from the stock crash to come. Except that the plane wasn’t destroyed, and that person lost $100 million by “betting the wrong way.”

That person, of course, was Le Chiffre, a manthematical genius and chess prodigy, who plays poker for fun, and plays the stock market with his clients’ money. Bond’s the best poker player in MI6 (a good addition that we already saw foreshadowed earlier! See what I mean?), and she’s sending him to a high stakes poker game that Le Chiffre’s looking to regain his money from. 

Bond FINALLY dons his suit, and gets on a train in Montenegro, where he meets...

Vesper Lynd (Eva Green). THERE’S our Bond girl! Although, there’s a reference to Miss Moneypenny in their introduction, which is interesting. But Vesper is an agent for the British Treasury, supplying the money for the buy-in for the tournament. And their conversation on the train...wow. Now THIS is chemistry, seriously.

Vesper’s a great character, and she gives Bond NO quarter. She reads his character, and calls him out very accurately. They also explain why both Bond and Vesper are good at poker: it’s all about reading people. I’m genuinely impressed by how this movie is put together, and how well-thought out Bond is as a character. And this is the dimension I love to see in a Bond girl as well!

GODDAMN, I am in love with this movie. More coming in Part 2!

#James Bond #Casino Royale #Daniel Craig #Martin Campbell #007 #action movie #Eva Green #Mads Mikkselsen #Jeffrey Wright #Judi Dench #Dame Judi Dench #Ian Fleming #spy movie #365 movie challenge #365 movies 365 days #365 Days 365 Movies #365 movies a year #mygifs #user365 #action january

[nbhd-daily]

LILY PATTERSON: Where the fuck is Chip Chrome? I noticed you deactivated your Instagram.

JESSE RUTHERFORD: [Laughs] I like that you turned the “who” to “where.”

PATTERSON: Obviously, there’s one glaring reference for an alien rock star alter ego—

RUTHERFORD: Wait, wait, wait, who though?

PATTERSON: … Ziggy Stardust?

RUTHERFORD: I’m just joking.

PATTERSON: [Laughs] Oh my god, I was like, “Did I say that clearly?” But yeah, you’re channeling an icon. Tell me about bringing Chip to life.

RUTHERFORD: I’ve had the idea for Chip for about two and a half years.

PATTERSON: So it’s been baking.

RUTHERFORD: Yeah, I had the name, the whole shit. Obviously, Bowie is a giant reference… Ugh, I hate that word. A giant inspiration. It’s funny; when I was a kid, people would tell me about him, but I wasn’t really interested. I was gravitating toward hip-hop or modern pop. First, I got really into interviews and just watched the man talk. Then the music. I’ve always been an in-between kind of fella. I’m not quite this, I’m not quite that. I’m not super masc, I’m not super feminine … I’m kind of a confused person, to be honest with you. Bowie has helped me route. Like, here you go, this is a blueprint, an architecture. Not to say I sound like him at all.

PATTERSON: You deployed @chipchrome on Instagram, a platform that’s created so much anxiety around being “real,” being consistent, endlessly delivering your personal brand. And now Chip’s off the grid.

RUTHERFORD: I’m trying to figure out myself in all of this. Maybe I’m expected to have already done that, but I haven’t. I feel like I turned into a “thing” on the Internet. When you work on a piece of music for a long time, you post it, and it gets X amount of likes, then you post a picture with your girlfriend and it gets X amount… It’s just a weird, challenging, confusing feeling. I feel like there’s an opportunity to get off the platform, or at least try it this way.

PATTERSON: How many months ago did you debut Chip? August?

RUTHERFORD: Yes. I killed @jesserutherford when I turned 27. Dead at 27.

PATTERSON: A not-so-subtle 27 Club reference.

RUTHERFORD: Exactly. It’s this ridiculous motif. Really, I want to have fun with this stuff, play with it. Like, yo, nobody paints themselves silver, throws on a Spandex suit and a grill. Then, of course, Kanye West comes along…

PATTERSON: [Laughs] Major Basel ‘fit.

RUTHERFORD: Bowie passed and everyone started to think about him again, riff on him. But no one was taking it to the full Ziggy extreme! There’s a Tekashi69 out there but no Ziggy Stardust? C’mon. It feels comfortable for me. I’m having fun.

PATTERSON: Can you describe the physical process to go full Chip? Side note: I saw a picture of that reflective Marine Serre balaclava you scored recently. Insane.

RUTHERFORD: The makeup itself isn’t too long of a process. I’ve always done it myself. Actually, I have a friend of mine who rips at makeup, Sydney, @sydn4sty on Instagram—

PATTERSON: Good friend plug.

RUTHERFORD: She’s bomb. Me and Dev [Devon Carlson, Rutherford’s partner] met her, she was our neighbor at an apartment we lived at a bit ago. She came over, fucked around and helped me with an eye design. For the most part, though, I’ve always done it on my own. We did a tour recently, and I’d usually start an hour before the show, giving myself time to get in the headspace. I could turn into Chip in 25 minutes. It doesn’t take that long.

PATTERSON: What about the suit?

RUTHERFORD: The silver suit is a stupid Spandex suit from the boulevard. I just ended up going into one of those places, figuring out a suit that worked there. Taking measurements and shit, getting the sizing right.

PATTERSON: Love that.

RUTHERFORD: I premiered Chip at a B-level, crusty, Hollywood, kind of spaghetti Western-y place. Which felt right. But as you can see—you referenced the top Dev got for me—there’s so much opportunity for Chip to grow visually. When we [The Neighbourhood] go on tour later this year, I want to develop this. But there’s also something about the campiness, this B-level visual, that I really like. It feels authentic to me.

PATTERSON: All in a time when people are hiring stylists for their hotel-lobby-to-car looks.

RUTHERFORD: [Laughs] Exactly.

PATTERSON: I feel like the DIY, the physical process of putting yourself together imbues a certain energy, a sort of leveling with your audience.

RUTHERFORD: Right. Thanks so much for noticing.

PATTERSON: Is Chip working its way into your solo act? Or do you think you’ll reserve it for The Neighbourhood?

RUTHERFORD: It was gonna be its own thing. I had no intention of bringing Chip into The Neighbourhood. It sounds corny, but the reason I wanted to do Chip for The Neighbourhood is—I don’t know if you’ve heard our song, “Middle of Somewhere.”

PATTERSON: I did. I watched the video.

RUTHERFORD: That song is a special one to me. I wanted to make sure that I could attach something to it that would make people stop, look, and have to listen. We were gonna do a textural video, like B-roll footage, Super 8, nature-y. I wake up in the morning, and I go to the house we’re recording at, in Coldwater Canyon. Before our director Alex got there I was sitting in the house, looking across the canyon over on this hill, and I actually had a vision of the chrome fuckin’ thing on top of the hill. So I showed up the next day in full Chip regalia, and everyone looked at me like, “Oh, no…”

PATTERSON: [Laughs] So that was the first introduction between Chip and The Neighbourhood, when you made it a part of the universe.

RUTHERFORD: It was, yeah. Actually, this producer duo called Take a Daytrip–they did that Sheck Wes song [“Mo Bamba”], “Panini” by Lil Nas X–they’re doing so well. I’ve known them for a long time. They’ve always sent me beat packs and I’ll just go through, pick ten at a time. I thought Chip was going to be leaning more toward my hip-hop shit.

PATTERSON: Yeah, if you’d gone through with Chip as an independent project, how would it sound?

RUTHERFORD: End of 2017, me and my engineer, Danny, were in the studio, going off on Chip. If you ask my friends, they heard about Chip so long ago, they’re like wow, you actually did it! Chip was going to be hip-hop.

PATTERSON: Daytrip almost feels more aligned with this glitchy, chromed-out look than The Neighbourhood. I’m thinking of the “Panini” video, Lil Nas X in the space suit.

RUTHERFORD: Hip-hop music has been my programming. It’s been my love. When I was a kid, hearing Eminem, G-Unit for the first time, I was like… Bro, that is it. I don’t know if you know where I’m from, Newbury Park—

PATTERSON: Ventura County, right?

RUTHERFORD: Yeah, yeah. I was kind of the odd one out, in my neighborhood, my area, obsessed with rap. I decided to stick with the guitar, and I fell in love with it, not having to use so many goddamn words. In fact, I don’t want Chip to talk, because Jesse talks enough. It’s all in the song, that’s where I’m gonna leave it. And “Middle of Somewhere” is a good jumping off point. That’s probably the purest sound you’re gonna hear; it’s just me and a guitar. I’ve been really into Dolly Parton lately—

PATTERSON: She’s having a revival moment with us younger gens!

RUTHERFORD: She’s a great reference for what I’m doing, because Dolly will tell you, “Yeah, I don’t give a fuck if you think I’m fake on the outside, because I am! That’s what I wanna look like. And that’s fine, because I know what’s coming out of me is more real than anything. So I don’t have to worry about that.”

PATTERSON: People are gonna assume they know what Chip’s about; i.e. my questions about the Ziggy comparisons or the visual continuity with Daytrip’s sound. But the far-out visual is paired back to a fairly stripped sound.

RUTHERFORD: Exactly. It’s not what people are expecting. Right now, Chip’s dedicated to The Neighbourhood. The project is gonna be called—there might be a change—but right now it’s called Chip Chrome and the Monotones. The boys, the way we all look together… They’re shadows, they’re silhouettes.

PATTERSON: They’ve got the reflective two-piece suits, right?

RUTHERFORD: For the most part, I’m the only one who has to say something to express what we collectively feel. So if I say something they’re not into, they tell me. I mean, there’s two thousand songs the world won’t hear because we all didn’t agree. It’s working, though. When I first showed up as Chip, everyone was like “what the fuck are you doing?” Now that we’ve worked on the context, everyone’s down.

PATTERSON: Final question, easily the lamest. Will Jesse/Chip find their way back to Instagram?

RUTHERFORD: I guess I’ll say I don’t know. I’m only a couple weeks off.

PATTERSON: How’s it feeling?

RUTHERFORD: I mean, you know… I’m going through it a bit.

PATTERSON: It’s a hell of a drug. You ingest it, but it can also completely consume you.

RUTHERFORD: Comparing myself to everything, everyone, everybody I love… You can’t look at humans like that. I don’t want to think about what everyone else is doing. I feel my creativity pumping back up again. I mean, I have the queen of social media sleeping in the bed next to me. And it’s the coolest thing ever, the way Devon does it? That’s the way you gotta do it. Not work for it, but make it work for you. And that’s cool, that’s her thing, it doesn’t have to be my thing. Luckily, if I do want to come back…

PATTERSON: It’s all gonna be there.

RUTHERFORD: The weirdest twist to it all—which I love, which is wonderful—is that I get off of it, and a week later I get an email that Lily from Interview fuckin’ Magazine… I mean, it’s Interview Magazine! If that isn’t a sign to pay attention, then I’m an asshole and I need to recalibrate my vision.

#the nbhd #the neighbourhood #jesse rutherford #Interview Magazine #interview #chip chrome #chipchrome

[brandonxdylan]

Terminal Bliss (1990)

Around season 5 of my premiere binge of Beverly Hills 90210, I decided that I was officially obsessed with Luke Perry, and while riding one of my crush highs, I purchased a VHS copy of his first movie called Terminal Bliss, which has never had a DVD or streaming release. It wasn’t cheap, but now that I’ve watched it, I feel like it was worth it. You know those store brand colas that always try to look like Coke but are always conspicuously, almost subversively...off? Well, Terminal Bliss is to Bret Easton Ellis’ Less Than Zero, as Dr. Skipper is to Dr. Pepper. I don’t think I can put it any clearer than that.

But I’ll try. What follows is part review, part commentary. I know it really has nothing to do with 90210 besides the fact that it stars Luke Perry (who, for the record, is basically playing Dylan McKay here, albeit a version of him with less fucks to give), but I figured this is the best place to post it, because I know I have a few followers who share my love for our reigning Fred Andrews.

We open with some moody shots of a boat drifting on a lake at sunset, and some kids playing in the twilight as Alex, our narrator and protagonist (although tbh you won’t be rooting for anyone in this film) provides a voiceover about the time he witnessed an accidental suicide. It seems while he was a child playing in a tree, a man came up and tied a rope around a branch, planning to hang himself. But the branch breaks, and he falls to his death instead. I’m not sure if this is supposed to be real or just a metaphor, but either way it’s super pretentious and heavy-handed (as is the rest of the movie), and it will come into play later, so hold that thought.

We then transition to Alex and his friend John (played by the reason for this post) as they play lacrosse. Alex and the new girl in town, Stevie, make eyes at each other. John asks Alex, “who’s the bitch?” and follows it up with, “you fuckin’ her?” Just the first of many classy lines courtesy of John/Perry, and I’m not complaining.

After this, we move into meeting the other members of their crew, including the improbably-named Bucky, a freshman at Ohio State who deals drugs, as well as his girlfriend and “best customer” Kirsten. Also Craig, played by the late Alexis Arquette(!) who is a huge Grateful Dead fan and who seems to lift right out of this circle of friends, but is also the only one who gives a solid, believable performance and actually manages to be likable. While out for a drive, John gives Stevie acid, apparently for the first time, even though Stevie seems to have a thing for Alex, who makes eyes at her once again. Alex says in narration that because he wanted her, so did John. Also, now seems like a good time to apologize for the shit quality of these screencaps. I’m not working with primo sources here, folks.

They then go this club (which seems to have an apocalyptic jungle theme) where Stevie and Kirsten waves their arms around dreamily together.

Kirsten says she’s into Stevie’s necklace, and Stevie says without a hint of irony: “my daddy made it for me. He’s dead now.” Then they all do blow and John brings Stevie into some sort of bathroom? Storage room? Anyway, they have sex, right there in the club, surrounded by lava lamps. Alex watches (creepily), and it seems like Stevie sees Alex too, but neither one says anything.

A few months pass, and it’s established that John (sporting an adorable scholastic look: see below) and Stevie have become an item, which stresses out Alex, who tries to deal by journaling(!!) This bites him in the ass, though, as it seems he handed in his angsty, bitter, drug-fuelled musings as an English assignment (sensible), and his teacher (appropriately) interpreted them as a cry for help and showed them to his mother. When informed of this, he calls his teacher a “lying antagonistic bitch” in front of the whole class, and is promptly hauled into a parent-teacher conference where his mom says that Alex “has become arrogant and sarcastic.” I love it. Alex is told to apologize to his teacher, but requests an “alternate path.” This is the point at which I realized that Alex is a pretentious douchebag, and no, there is no redeeming character arc to come. Alex then says he’d prefer to be suspended, is suspended, and then threatened with rehab, which he likens to being “burned at the stake.” Like...what did you expect? Also, he says that Stevie had an abortion, and John makes creepy eyes at Stevie’s freshman sister Tanya. Both of these things will also come into play later. Sort of. 

Back at Chez Alex, Alex’s Siouxie Sioux-looking mom goes for a tan in her home tanning booth, as yuppie mothers are wont to do, but not before taking a Valium, which seems like a real bad idea. She tells Alex that he has to stay and watch her to make sure she doesn’t fall asleep. He does, for a minute, but then he starts getting existential, and wishing that he was aborted like Stevie’s baby so he wouldn’t have to go to rehab. Jesus Christ, Alex, grow up. Anyway, it seems like in the midst of all this, he leaves because we hear the door close, a buzzer go off, and his mom scream his name so like...is she okay? We don’t know and it’s literally never mentioned again.

At John’s super bougie graduation party, Stevie gives Kirsten her dead-daddy necklace as a token of their friendship.

After John notices Kirsten wearing it, he hits on her, but she rebuffs his advances. John: “What, a guy can’t cop a feel in his own house?” Then Kirsten implies that it’s not that he hit on her, it’s that he’s doing so “in front of the whole world.” K. But it all turns out to be a moot point anyway because Bucky walks in, which ends the conversation.

Alex gets out of rehab just in time to make it to the party, and they all go for a joy ride in the new Porsche that John’s parents gave him as a graduation present. Here, yet another reason why John is basically just Dylan McKay. Also, Stevie pulls a Footloose and almost dies but it’s chill.

They go for dinner at Bucky’s dad’s country club, where Craig does a shitload of acid, and John is a dick to Stevie, who seems to be losing interest in him. When John invites her to go to the wine cellar with him and do some blow, she refuses and so he grabs Kirsten instead, calling her a “snow bunny,” which I think is the cutest way to say “coke fiend” that I’ve ever heard. And naturally, they do each other, in addition to the blow.

Meanwhile, at the table, tensions flare inexplicably between Bucky and Alex, who puffs on a cigarette and chews the scenery like it’s turkey jerky as he rips Bucky a new asshole for no real reason, calling him out for being a privileged asshole who is destined for a life of suburban mediocrity. Jesus Christ, man, what did Bucky ever do to deserve this unwarranted tirade? He’s not even a villainous character. He’s barely even a character at all, he’s been on screen for like three minutes total at this point.

But Bucky does not take this lying down, and snatches the wig right off Alex’s head, calling him out for basically being just as privileged as he is. It’s the pot calling the kettle platinum, if you will. Anyway, their bitch-fest is interrupted by Craig who has a coughing fit (because of the acid? I guess that could be a thing). Alex takes off, followed by Stevie, and the two inadvertently interrupt Kirsten and John having sex in the wine cellar (as you do). Alex straight up sees them going at it, And although Stevie doesn’t, she sees enough to suspect. She also sees the necklace she gave Kirsten sitting on the floor, and picks it up. Kirsten’s response to all of this is to ask Alex which rehab he went to, because she thinks she’s getting too addicted to coke. Like that’s her actual excuse for fucking John. Whatever helps you sleep at night, sis.

Later, John goes to Stevie’s where he again creepily leers at Tanya, who is sunbathing by the pool. He tells her that she arouses his Lolita complex. Ew.

Then Stevie waltzes into the backyard while eating ice cream right out of the tub. This will be a recurring motif with Stevie, as you will see, as her passion for ice cream comprises about 83% of her character. John says that he has a gift for Stevie and so the two go for a drive. First, he gives her a snake (wtf?)

Then, the real gift, which is a black, oversized t-shirt (which is oddly even more wtf than the snake). As she reluctantly puts it on, John gets all weird and handsy, talking about how his babysitter used to get changed in front of him and it turned him on, and then talking about how constriction is the worst way to die (is that what the snake was supposed to represent?) This is all presumably the last straw for Stevie, and understandably so, as she tries to break it off with John, who pins her down and is alternately angry and weepy as he confesses his love for her. Eventually she wriggles free and runs off. Run, bitch, run.

A few days later, Alex shows up at Stevie’s, interrupting a dream she was having about her giving birth. What follows is the most bizarre conversation in the whole movie. First, Stevie offers Alex ice cream (again, right out of the tub, natch), saying that it’s “creamy, and dreamy, simply to die.” What’s with the hard sell? Are you a brand ambassador for Häagen-Dazs or something?

In response, Alex chooses to ignore this entirely, and instead says: “You know, music is the ultimate form of expression.” THANKS ALEX, NO I DID NOT KNOW THAT BUT THANKS FOR BRINGING IT UP EVEN THOUGH LITERALLY NO ONE WAS TALKING ABOUT MUSIC. They then take a hard turn into talking about sex. To make things stranger, Stevie gives Alex her necklace, without explanation, and starts playing the piano (is that necklace cursed or something? Why does she keep trying to pawn it off?) Alex proceeds to say some egregiously pretentious things about her choice of music (Shostakovich, for the record), as well as her choice of rendition. Around this point, Stevie gets annoyed with Alex’s presence (which makes sense), but he placates her by finally accepting her offer for ice cream. “You know, I think ice cream’s better than sex,” she says. OF COURSE YOU THINK THAT. Alex says that he can’t really comment on that comparison “...since I’ve never had ice cream.” BARF.

Then John shows up in full Dylan-mode: drunk and bitter. He tries to get Stevie to invite him in for the night, which she refutes by saying her parents are home (which they aren’t), and so Alex drives John home. En route, John warns Alex that Stevie is “a manipulative bitch.” Alex then calls out John for being a douchey nympho, and then John calls out Alex for being a know it all. Calm down, fellas, you’re both right.

At the grocery store, Alex listens to Craig go off about the virtues of the Grateful Dead, while carrying around an eggplant. They then run into Stevie and Kirsten, the latter of whom is eating a piece of fruit. When Craig asks what it is, she says “I don’t know.” Reasonable. I mean who hasn’t just picked up a piece of fruit from an unlabelled bin at the grocery store and started munching.

Stevie tries to talk to Alex (IN THE ICE CREAM SECTION), who is predictably standoffish and rude. Be that as it may, Stevie invites him to her sister’s party, and he reluctantly accepts.

Also, as a stray observation, I just wanted to point out that Kirsten always seems drunk. I don’t know if that was an acting choice, if she was directed that way, or if it’s just the way that this actress is. But in any case, it’s both ineffective and endearing, and goes a long way in contributing to the borderline surreal vibe that this movie has. Like this clearly does not take place in our world.

At the party, Bucky talks to Kirsten about their upcoming European vacation, which she seems kind of “meh” about. Then John shows up, and Tanya says that although she wants him there, she feels weird because of his relationship with her sister. Then John says it’s cool because he never really liked Stevie anyway. Tanya seems to accept this happily, which is kind of a bitch movie imo but whatever. Then, presumably for the sole purpose of stirring up an already over-stirred pot, Alex shows up to return Stevie’s necklace to her in front of all of their friends, which seems to reveal to everyone that John and Kirsten had a thing, and that Alex and Stevie KNOW they did. This motherfucking necklace, I can’t with this.

Bucky and John exchange words, with John making some low blows about Kirsten’s drug habit and how it was easy to get her to sleep with him because all he had to do was “put her on the one gram cycle.” Ouch. Anyway, Bucky retaliates (deservedly) by pushing John into the pool (which I TOTALLY called by the way).

Tanya pulls John out of the water and takes him into a bathroom to dry off and tend to his broken lip. He compliments her perfume and asks if it’s Stevie’s, which I guess is supposed to solidify his obsession with her, and to explain(ish) what he does next. He says that Stevie told him that she has a crush on him, and she admits it. Then they start making out but Tanya gets second thoughts and tries to protest. John doesn’t stop, and proceeds to rape her, all the while muttering Stevie’s name. Yikes.

Meanwhile, Kirsten apologizes to Stevie for sleeping with John. Stevie responds by screaming: “YOU ARE DISGUSTING!” This causes Kirsten to break down, and she confesses that she’s really struggling with drugs (as she literally does a line of coke), and how her dad is sending her to Europe with Bucky to save the embarrassment of sending her to rehab. Stevie softens and the two hug it out.

Craig shows up at the party with an old VW wagon to say bye to his friends before he commences his tour with the Grateful Dead for a year. Why was he in this movie again? I mean, aside from being the only likable character and serving up this LEWK:

John finds Stevie and offers her ice cream (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) as a last ditch effort to get her to go to his lakehouse, which he’s been trying to get her to do for most of the movie. She tries to say no, saying that they need time apart, but when John insists that nothing will happen because Alex is coming, she has a change of heart and agrees to leave. That very minute, for whatever reason. I mean if it were me, I’d wait until the next day instead of leaving in the middle of this huge party I was throwing, but you do you. Before they go, Tanya shows up looking devastated, but won’t tell Stevie what happened. Kirsten agrees to look after her while Stevie’s gone.

At the lakehouse, Alex says in narration that he realized that inviting both of them was just a ruse so that he could get Stevie there. No shit. They take the speedboat out and John literally drags Alex all over the lake on water skis, ignoring his signals to stop until Alex faceplants into the water. Fantastic.

Later, Stevie catches Alex reading a book on existential philosophy and low-key calls out his overwhelming pretension. Alex then shows her lines he’s drawn on his arms where he would cut if he were *actually* suicidal. He calls it “necro-masturbation” and she’s understandably put off by this weird confession. Still, instead of heeding this as the final in a long line of crystal clear harbingers of the doom to come, she ignores it and stays.

That night, during a power outage, Stevie starts up a game of Twister by candlelight, which leads to some brief albeit appreciable homoerotic play between John and Alex, and later, a makeout session between John and Stevie. Surprise, surprise. But then, Stevie pulls away and says “that was goodbye.” Goddamn.

Alex muses about how changed John is, and how worried he is about him as he sulks off by himself. The next morning, John asks Alex for help tying up the speedboat. They row out to where the boat is, chatting about acid as they go. Meanwhile, Stevie wakes up and watches from the shore as John gets on the speedboat and tells Alex just how much he loves Stevie. Alex is not having any of it, however, as evidenced by this face:

John then admits that he poked a hole in his condom in order to get Stevie pregnant. Alex calls John a “bastard” in the most dramatic of all stage whispers, as John strips down to provide the patient viewers with the first and only shots of a topless Luke Perry.

Then John leaps into the water with a rope to tie the boat to its anchor. But his foot gets tangled in the process, and he can’t surface. Alex watches, as does Stevie, neither one doing anything. Although in his defense, Alex does effectively convey some conflicted thoughts on the matter. This goes on for a minute or two until eventually, John FUCKING DIES. Alex ties all of this back to the idea of accidental suicide as introduced in the opening scene: John seemed intent on killing himself with drugs, but killed himself in a different way instead...sort of...I guess. Alex posits that even if he did cut John loose, he would have killed himself with drugs eventually anyway. FAIR FAIR OKAY ALEX BUT MAYBE LET’S BACK UP TO THE PART WHERE YOU COULD HAVE SAVED HIM BUT DIDN’T? Like I know he was a disgusting rapist junkie but basically everyone in this movie is so like fuck off with that holier than though shit pretty please?

Alex and Stevie comfort each other in silence as the film ends.

Honestly, this movie was a fucking trip. It definitely wasn’t bad enough to earn the “so bad, it’s good” badge. It was bad in a more subtle way. I feel like if I had been doing as many drugs as these characters, I would have enjoyed it a lot more. But even still, it was far from a waste of time, and managed to be entertaining in spite of its lesser qualities, which include (but are not limited to) amateurish acting, a goddamn hot mess of a script, clunky dialogue, and of course all of the super hamfisted and on the nose plot points involving drugs, rape, and promiscuity that even Beverly Hills 90210 and Riverdale wouldn’t touch.

There were some things I was kind of into though. For one, it was actually really well shot. Like, genuinely, by any film’s standards. There were some cool creative visuals, and the whole film had a music video feel to it, which kept things stimulating. As well, like I mentioned at the beginning, the movie almost manages to have a surreal, Bret Easton Ellis thing going. If you’ve seen the film versions of Less Than Zero or The Rules of Attraction then you know what I mean. But unfortunately it’s just a much worse film than either of those. With a better script, better acting, and some general polish, it could have been on par with them.

TL;DR: If you’re a fan of Luke Perry (or if ANY of what I’ve included in this post appeals to you in ANY way), then I would low-key recommend Terminal Bliss. I could see this becoming a bad movie night staple if only it were easier to find (I do not necessarily recommend paying a small fortune for a VHS copy). Also, the song that plays over the end credits is kind of a bop and I recommend that even more than the movie itself. 

If you’ve actually read through this whole thing, THANK YOU and GOD BLESS because I know this post is a fucking monster with limited appeal. But I felt it was my duty to write. Maybe I need to get a life, idk.

#also because i'm an actual moron i accidentally deleted this the first time i wrote it and had to redo almost the whole thing #so i mean if that makes you appreciate it more... #terminal bliss #luke perry #cannon films #cannon pictures #90s #movie #review #90s movie #vhs #vhs review #90s film #film #film review

[felicityb-reviews]

Experimental SHINee - Feature Spotlight

Hello babies, and welcome to the next Feature Spotlight in the SHINee Spotlight series!! My name is Jace (aka Felicity B), and today we're gonna be taking a slow drive through SHINee's more experimental era. This era in SHINee's career actually features my first SHINee comeback (Dream Girl, dahlings), so I am The Most Excited™ for this FSL!! It feels like Dream Girl dropped ten years ago, rather than just five, but I guess that's what K-Pop does to you.

And in case anyone is wondering why I'm going in reverse chronological order, it's because 1of1 and Misconceptions of Me are my favorite SHINee albums.

Era Spotlight

So, I cheated. I really should have featured from DxDxD in this list instead of ones from FIVE, but I don't really like DxDxD!?!??! It's literally my least favorite SHINee album, sis. FIVE, to be frank with you all, fit more in line with the '90s 5HINee era, but it also fits in this experimental era pretty well.

The name of the game here is experimental, folks. SHINee must have gotten a little bored after they decided to go RnB again after LUCIFER. The bulk of the songs on this list were released in 2013, a year that SHINee really pushed the boundaries of who they were as a group, and I almost kind of miss it. Granted, I loved the maturity in sound they came back with on Odd and 1of1 (the former more than the latter, tbh), but this experimental phase was just a fun time to be a SHINee fan. This list includes songs from both Misconceptions albums, the Everybody mini album, and the previously mentioned Japanese album FIVE.

Spoiler (Misconceptions of You ~Dream Girl~)

Gurl... SHINee was not fuckin' around with us with Spoiler.

Spoiler is a song that Jonghyun wrote incorporating all the song titles from the Misconceptions series in the lyrics. And sis, I was like, "This is cute, or whatevahs!!" when he spoiled the tracklisting for Misconceptions of You, but when Misconceptions of Me dropped and we found out he spoiled that too?!?!?! My wig wasn't just lopsided, she was free floating in space.

SHINee really fucking Did That™ with Spoiler, sis.

Spoiler sounds like someone took Sherlock, and turned her into a vampire. Spoiler is Sherlock's darker and more seductive older sister. It's kind of interesting how they kicked off the Misconceptions series with Spoiler, a song that starts out like their previous title track, but with a dark twist. It's almost like they were making a statement, sis. This SHINee is New and Improved™ SHINee. This SHINee is Upgraded™ SHINee. SHINee 2.0, if you will. We snatched you with RnB/Funk, we snatched you with EDM, and now we're gonna snatch you with both. Enjoy!!

Symptoms (Everybody)

I imagine sex feels like what listening to this song feels like.

Symptoms is an eletro-RnB song that sounds like it was snatched right from the Billboard Top 40. Which doesn't surprise me, because it was produced by the Underdogs (who also produced EXO's Overdose, another song that's dripping in that Top 40 sound from the time). Symptoms is a song that starts out loud and proud; it gives you Drama™, and it gives zero fucks about it. She looks at you without a care in the world and says, "My name is Symptoms, what did you expect!?!?! A cutesy pop track?!?!?! Boi, if you don't get!!"

And mind you, that's what I love about ha.

I fucking love a SHINee song that gives us all the bells and whistles, because they really don't have to. Look at Odd Eye - she's as stripped back as it gets for RnB midtempos, but SHINee still Shine Bright Like A Diamond!! But here's the thing - these dramatic ass niggas love songs like these. You can't tell me these SHINee boys don't love a beat with all the bells and whistles; the way they always come correct on songs like these says it all.

Become Undone (FIVE)

Speaking of songs that lack bells and whistles, Become Undone is not one of them. You'd have to be a Fool™ to think a song titled Become Undone on a Japanese record could be a toned down track.

These types of songs are usually the most dramatic.

Become Undone is an angsty song. She's a song I can see playing during a scene where an anime protagonist has to make an extremely hard decision. Like, intentionally stepping into a trap to save your friends, or deciding between saving your loved ones or the world (don't look at me like that, you guys have seen Sailor Moon).

The main star of the show here is the chorus. That's true of most pop songs, but especially so for Become Undone. She features The SHINee Specialty™ (their ridiculous ability to blend their harmonies together like fuckin' buttah), the trap beats presented in the verse kicked up 10,000 for Maximum Drama™, and orchestral stabs that tie everything together. Become Undone has one of the most emotionally satisfying choruses I've heard in a pop song. Sis, I'm literally the INTENSIFIES meme listening to this song, it's just so good.

I'm really glad that groups like SHINee have had the pleasure of working with a Japanese team to release music in Japan, because it allows them to play with their sound in a way that they can't in Korea. And that's not to say that SHINee haven't played with their sound in Korea (this FSL is literally on the era they experimented with their sound the most), but there's certain sounds and textures that are specifically J-Pop in feel, and it's really cool to see a group like SHINee tap into that.

Orgel (Misconceptions of Me ~Why So Serious~)

Okay sis, now we're actually bringing it down a notch. Not for long, but I figured y'all could use a break, even if it's short lived.

Orgel is a song that's quite similar to Odd Eye in the fact that it's SHINee driving the song with their vocal performance, and the beat is going along for the ride. Orgel also features a melody that sounds like a something you'd hear in a music box, and while that motif is quite overused in pop music, it doesn't make Orgel feel played out. It's just a really pretty song from five really pretty boys.

Orgel is a really neat song, because even though SHINee are driving the song with their voice, they're really not doing a whole lot on the beat. Their vocal performance on Orgel is subtle in the same way the beat is (or rather, as subtle as these boys get), but they still stand out. It's an interesting experience, sis.

Queen of New York (Everybody)

Now this is A Song™, sis.

Queen of New York feels very lounge cafe, sis; she's very "let me sip my expensive coffee drink while I read the latest copy of Cosmo or OK! Magazine". Queen of New York is also very much something the drag queens are voguing to at the local gay club. Miss Queen of New York is a woman of many moods, okay?!?!?!

Queen of New York was a very fun surprise, because I don't think anyone was expecting a song quite like this on the Everbody mini album. She's very edgy, but in a way that you don't expect songs described as "edgy" to sound. Queen of New York has a very polished feel to her, but there's a dirtiness to her that you can't tame. She's a proper Upper Middle Side woman, but she's not afraid to take a walk on the wild side. She's not afraid to show you how to get down, and I just love that so much.

One Minute Back (Everybody)

This is also A Song™, babes.

One Minute Back is grungy, sis. She's not a proper Upper Middle Side woman, she's a punk rock/biker girl with a flair for the dramatic. Ain't nothin' polished here, ladies!! Well, SHINee's vocals are pretty polished, but that's a given. I've never heard a SHINee song where the vocals weren't produced to a T.

But despite that, Ms One Minute Back and Ms Queen of New York are happily married!!

One Minute Back, like Queen of New York, was a song I was pleasantly surprised to hear on Everybody. One Minute back has such grungy verses, but then the chorus and the bridge are so Funky and so SHINee. BUT THE TWO DIFFERENT VIBES BLEND TOGETHER LIKE IT'S NOTHING!! It's such an aurally pleasing experience, you guys!! The reason I compared One Minute Back to Queen of New Year is that they're both marry these two moods to amazing results. I mean, Queen of New York doesn't fully commit to the grunginess, but there's enough of it lying below the surface that it's worth mentioning.

ABOAB (FIVE)

Ms ABOAB is a Bad Bitch™. She's a Boss Bitch™. She has no time for your games, boo. Ms ABOAB is a brazen ElectroFunk number that makes no apologizes.

If SHINee wanted to make a record like Everybody for the Japanese market, ABOAB would have been the title track/lead single. Miss ABOAB is spicy. She's seductive. Miss ABOAB is full on club bounce, and I McFucking L O V E when SHINee do those kinds of songs. There's just something so sexy about them working that club vibe, sis. I lowkey wasn't ready for ABOAB, but she really didn't care. She mesmerizes with the way she flits between emphasizing her Funk and Electro elements.

And that damn drop with the horn line... BITCH!! My wig has been compromised.

Runaway (Misconceptions of You ~Dream Girl~)

Runaway is another ElectroFunk track, but brighter and poppier in a way that contrasts ABOAB quite nicely. It's no less fun and club ready, tho.

Runaway is mainly driven by a punchy synth stab and SHINee's very fun usage of their vocal harmonies. While Miss ABOAB would whip ha weave in ya face if you ever tried to talk to her, Miss Runaway would make silly faces at you and coax you into doing silly dances. I, always and forever, wanna see SHINee in concert, but I especially wanna see Runaway and ABOAB performed live, because they always do these types of club ready tracks Just Right™.

Hitchhiker (Misconceptions of You ~Dream Girl~)

Because God Knows^™ these boys can't not give us a track that channels the very essence of MJ and his weave.

If Spoiler was too gimmicky of a sequel to Sherlock for you, then Hitchhiker is your song. Hitchhiker, to me, sounds like the perfect representation of this era in SHINee's discography - let's take what we already do well and marry it to a whole new palette of song styles/textures, and see what sticks.

And lemme tell you somethin' - Hitchhiker sticks like fucking glue. Remember what I said about SHINee loving the bells and whistles that comes with doing over the top songs?!?!?! That's in full effect here, sis. Hitchhiker is anthemic as all fuck, and these boys ride that beat like they were made for it. And to be completely, I have no doubt in my mind that they were.

Nothing to Lose (FIVE)

So who else was expecting to get something hella grungy like Natalia Kills' Break You Hard or Seventeen's Clap with how hard that guitar was filtered?!?!?! I can't be the only one here.

Nothing to Lose bait and switches us with that dark n grungy guitar riff, because the majority of the song is rather bright n poppy. But I really can't be mad, because I rather liked the way they transitioned the darker sections into the brighter ones. And Nothing to Lose is pure octane fun. It's kind of a hard song to hate, because it gives zero fucks about how cutesy and cheesy it is.

There's also a rather nice helping of Funk thrown into the mix, but I'm gonna pretend that that had nothing to do with much I like this song. Even though it's what makes me like it the most.

Punch Drunk Love (Misconceptions of You ~Dream Girl~)

Punch Drunk Love channels Love Like Oxygen like SHINee's producers were in the studio intentionally trying to produce a sequel to the song. And if you know anything about me, you know that Love Like Oxygen is literal auditory C R A C K for my black ass. Punch Drunk Love also sounds like SHINee's writers held a seance and channeled MJ's spirit when they were writing the song for the boys.

And y'all already K N O W I'm here for that shit.

Punch Drunk Love is the SHINee Five™ on autopilot, sis. SHINee will never not know how to come correct with a Funk song, and it warms my heart. The attitude, the harmonies (THE BUMBACLOT HARMONIES), the overall feel of the song; SHINee gets it right. If you ever needed a pickmeup, then put on SHINee's Punch Drunk Love, and thank me later. This is another song that is unabashedly cheesy, but gives absolutely zero fucks about it.

Isn't it beautiful!?!?!?

Evil (Misconceptions of Me ~Why So Serious~)

Evil can be summed by in two words - Drama and Killer Harmonies.

That's technically three, but you know what the fuck I meant.

Evil is SHINee at their most dramatic. I remember Shawols losing their collective minds at the fancams from the concert performances where they wore blindfolds.

Yes, you read that correctly. These dramatic ass motherfuckers were performing on stage with blindfolds on. They were, more than likely, see through blindfolds, but never doubt SHINee's collective love of the Drama™. They absolutely would dance completely blindfolded.

Evil starts out slow, but I very much doubt that many of us thought the song was gonna stay that way; SHINee were just building the atmosphere (read - creating the perfect environment to torch our weaves). Evil has an almost musical theater vibe to it, except not nearly as cheesy. Evil is honestly a one of a kind experience that we all need in our lives at some point.

Especially because SHINee were on their harmonic A game the day they recorded Evil. When the drums drop out and it's just the orchestral stabs with their voices?!?!? Fuckin' magic, ladies.

Like A Fire (Misconceptions of Me ~Why So Serious~)

We all Know™ Like A Fire, because of that one performance where Jonghyun, Kibum, and Jinki were having a contest to see whom tf could be the most extra (to be honest, I'd say Kibum won, based purely on the fact that I didn't even know he could wail like that). But Like A Fire stands firm on her own by being a wickedly good Funk song.

(Sidenote - I'm about 90% this list has more Funk tracks than my '90s 5HINee FSL, and I want you all know that that was not on purpose. I wont be changing it, but I swear it wasn't done purposefully!!)

Like A Fire, like Punch Drunk Love, is SHINee on autopilot. I don't know what else to say about this song. It's just so Classic SHINee™, sis!! The verses have a more somber, minor tone to them, but the choruses transition (maybe that's a modulation, I'm not Musically Advanced™ enough to make that call) into a killer major groove that is just so beautiful to listen to. I don't know anyone who doesn't like this song. Liking Like A Fire is a requirement for being a Shawol (especially a Shawol of color). If you don't like Like A Fire, you're invalid.

I need to say something about these harmonies and ad libs, tho. Did the producer of Like A Fire tell the SHINee Boys™ to go HAM the day they were laying down tracks for Like A Fire?!?!?! Did they mean for the harmonies and ad libs to get this over the top!?!?! I'm not complaining, I just wanna know. Because the harmonies and ad libs, especially, are so ridiculous!! I love every second of it, but sometimes it K I L L S how extra this song is!!

Diamond Sky (FIVE)

The first time I ever listened to this song, I cackled like a banshee at how extra that intro was, because it's so SHINee. It's so dramatic, and it suits SHINee to a T. I was expecting the verses to be some Final Dragon type shit, or somethin'!!!

Diamond Sky is pretty standard fare for a J-Pop song, imo. It doesn't stop me from loving SHINee's take on it (and it shouldn't stop you), but it's worth mentioning; SHINee + J-Pop = Love. Like I mentioned above, I'm glad that SHINee were able to continue releasing music in Japan, because this is a style of music that suits them well, but would not do well in Korea at all.

Diamond Sky feels like the theme song for a magical girl anime. The twinkly pianos, complemented by the strings and electric guitar give it an air of grandiosity that would have made it a perfect theme or insert song for Sailor Moon. If they had added a modulation at the end for Maximum Drama™, I'd have lost my shit.

Close the Door (Everybody)

Firstly, if you haven't watched the SHINee World IV performance where Jinki tap dances to Close the Door, I'm judging you. Our sweet dubu leader did not bless us with such beauty and grace for you to ignore it!!

Secondly, Close the Door is the cheesiest love song I've ever encountered in K-Pop. It's got the romantic sounding keys, the strings, it's in 6/8 time (perfect for a waltz, babies), the lyrics are so sugary sweet, and the chord progressions utilize mostly major chords. And you know what, I absolutely fucking love it. I'm a cheesy Romantic Gay™, and I fucking love this cheesy ass love song. It's just so aurally pleasing, especially since these SHINee boys all have voices that blend together amazingly when they harmonize. Sue me.

Sleepless Night (Misconceptions of Me ~Why So Serious~)

SHINee ballads are a wonderful, amazing thing, you know?!?!? Especially when they don't give us the typical classical ballad, but go a little left field into something jazzy or RnB. Which is what they do with Sleepless Night.

This week's playlist features a lot of songs that are extremely over the top, sis. And I mean, we've discussed this; these SHINee boys love the drama of it all. But they also love lowkey songs like Sleepless Night. You'd be able to tell if they didn't with a song this stripped back and bare. Sleepless Night is literally the SHINee boys (and their amazing harmonies), a piano, and some strings. And it's fucking amazing. There are quite a few songs from SHINee that I want to experience live, but I think Sleepless Night tops the list. Well, that and Wish Upon A Star, but I'm sure I'd cry my fucking eyes out listening to that. I mean, I might cry my eyes out to Sleepless Night, but there's less of a chance there.

I've accepted that I'm a boring bitch who lives for a good ballad (the amount of ballads I've had to listen to for my RRUs has definitely proven this), but there's nothing quite like a good SHINee ballad, sis. There ain't never been a SHINee ballad that I didn't like.

And that's all for this week's list, loves!! Please tune in next week for the next era in my SHINee Spotlight series, Contemporary SHINee ver.2!! And don't forget to tune in Wednesday for my next Review Roundup, featuring songs released this week!!

Love you, guys!!

#Feature Spotlight #SHINee #Felicity B

[baconpal]

so heres the long super paper mario post

strap in for why super paper mario is fucking bizarre and why that’s pretty much awesome

gonna be a good amounts of spoilers, so if you’re on desktop then hit that read more, and if your on mobile, then here’s your punishment for using this god awful app

super paper mario is a game that is incredibly difficult to put into words, but it leaves such a powerful, lasting impression on me and i can’t come to say anything first other than I love it so much, and if you havent played the game, please just go do it now, even if you have to pirate or emulate or something, just let yourself play this game. It’s one of those games that I really feel I can just recommend to anybody

it’s difficult to think of where to start with dissecting this thing so i’ll just start with the art since lookin at things is pretty easy

ART/WORLD DESIGN

every world in SPM is completely unique, not just in what type of environment, but it’s art style, and this is premised with the fact that none of these worlds are capable of existing together and are completely separate, and NOT part of a cohesive universe (LOOKIN AT YOU ODYSSEY I STILL THINK YOU LOOK STUPID)

The hub and the first 2 worlds are mostly just slight variants on the same general style of simplistic shapes and colors, with world 1 delving into more linework type aesthetics, and 2 focusing more on impressions and silhouettes, 

world 3 changes this completely with what is obviously an 8 bit kind of style, but instead of jarring over sized pixels, the world is composed of detailed tiles arranged to look like pixel art that imply a more real world, and not a gamey one, 

world 4 focuses on patterns and big patches of color to give the impression of the vast emptiness of both space and the surface of a barren planet, before giving you the “Whoa Zone”, with a striking mix of wire frame and futuristic UI style to it

world 5 takes the idea of nature being crude and simplistic and humanity being sharp, angular, and extreme and flips that on its head, with humanity and the space they occupy being these absolute memes with no sense of depth, and the plant life existing in a system of clean cut caves with futuristic technology and elegant historic values

world 6 simplifies a kind of colored Japanese painting aesthetic, down to the funny cylindrical cloud clusters and brushstroke trees

world 7 depicts what is essentially hell (yes there’s hell in this game keep your pants on) as a squarish blur of bright greens and warm reds and purples, and depicts heaven as fluffy land of clouds and Greek temples

and lastly, world 8 is inverted greyscale, where light is black and darkness is white, its simplistic and striking and i couldn’t think of a better style for the final area of a game so focused on the concept of light and dark

MUSIC

I’ll just try and keep it simple, the musics fucking cash money

The game makes great use of motifs when it needs to, where specific themes and instruments are used in other songs to suggest relationships and put battles and travels into perspective

And when it ISNT doing that, it’s just fucking funky stuff, with a weird trend of BOING and PLOP and SPLISH noises in the percussion because fuck you i guess

There’s a lot of good songs that do lots of interesting things, any of the like 5 final battle songs are great things to point to, but i’ll just go ahead and say the main theme of world 8 “Castle Bleck” is one of my favorites that isn’t super highly rated. It brings in the types of instruments that have been associated with the villain the entire game, but also throws in 2 very important things; a sudden triumphant burst of almost JRPG styled chiptune that pushes away the constantly building tension, which is then followed by the sound of a clock ticking, which is a musical motif only present in the songs “Memory” and “Promise” which is played whenever the memories of the player’s little guide thing and the main villain’s past lives together are alluded to. This one song holds a lot of weight, as well as simply being a fucking cool song.

GAMEPLAY

This is, sadly, the one place I’ll not mince any words and say the gameplay is not amazing by any standard, it’s pretty much a classic mario game if it had RPG stats, items, and random abilities granted through the character and partner systems. The 3D flipping mechanic is nothing astounding, though it is very interesting to see how worlds are constructed

One of the biggest flaws people will mark the game for in its gameplay is that it’s tedious, and while I have to agree, that’s because I’ve already played the game before, and the tedium only comes from not being completely invested in the experience anymore. I’ll get some specific examples in a bit, but there’s a few cases of “tedium” that i believe are 100% intentional and drive the story in an interesting way

STORY/WRITING/GAME DESIGN

Thats a fuckin broad section, but its pretty much everything else i have to say on the game, and where the most spoilers and random praise is gonna be

I’m not actually gonna talk about the whole story, more just the strong parts of it, under the assumption you’ve already played it or understand a story as simple as “villain wants to destroy world, hero wants that to not happen”

The writing and characters are just flawless, everyone is fun to be around, especially the bad guys, who you see more antics of than your own party. There’s goofy running plotlines about O’chunks and mimi essentially getting grounded and being forced to write essays about why they fucked up at beating mario, and big stinky brother dimentio teasting and bullying them and sneaking them out to do his bidding when The big Count Bleck is away

The game is full of referential humor to not just mario itself but all kinds of games, there’s skeletons in hell who are clearly just Marios from the mainline games who died in stupid ways, there’s an actual dragon quest turn based boss battle in hell too, and chapter 3 has an otaku villain who tried to get with peach in a simulated visual novel

but the humor exists not just in references, but in simple good scenarios, with things like “Having a game show in a bathroom when everyone's life is at stake” and “locating an ancient manuscript to use as toilet paper” or “flying through black holes to find a convenience store” and things of that nature

It also interacts with the players emotions in many interesting ways, one of the more lauded being chapter 2-3, where mario is forced into working off a massive debt of fictional money, and is required to do hard, boring labor. There isn’t anyway to avoid doing both the hitting a block 100 times and the running on a treadmill for a few minutes thing, but the constant feeling of “there has to be a faster way to do this” drives the player to prod around, find the secrets, and slowly discover how to break the system wide open and get to the end, and i love it for that

This entire game is some sort of bait and switch, to put it simply, while it’s already a bit of a departure from both mario itself and the paper series, the first 5 worlds are pretty fucking tame stuff, other than the void, which is a giant black and purple spot that sits in the sky, always, every single world has the void growing in its sky, and it does grow, every chapter it gets bigger and bigger and takes up the sky, but where this truly culminates into the “switch” part is chapter 6, which starts itself by presenting you with the most TEDIUS sounding chapter possible, fight 100 enemies in a row, and nothing else, and for 25 straight fights, that is all it is, so you’ve locked yourself into it at this point, you know whats up, but the void in the background begins to grow to the point of being the entire fucking background, and every enemy you face speaks as if they know they’re all going to die, and by the 30th fight, one of the villains comes to stall for time as the void completely swallows the world, and the party is sent back to the hub. When they decide to go back in to world 6, its empty, the entire world is a white void with a single black line making up the ground, and colorless destroyed structures occasionally peaking out of the ground.

and you walk on this white void for so long and you just feel nothing but regret and fear and no matter how fast you make yourself go you feel like you’ll never find anything, but you do eventually get your plot item and escape

then, Dimentio, one of the villains you’ve seen the least of, appears in the hub world, the safest place in the universe, and kills mario

he just fucking kills him

he puts mario in a box and fills the box with explosions and mario fucking dies and goes to hell because fuck you mario

then you go through all of chapter 7 just to escape hell (called the Underwhere cus how could we possibly be allowed to take hell seriously) and join up with your full party before confronting the final world, which i’ve already stated i just love the design off

the game just takes the comfortable ride you’re on and throws it into the fucking sun and burns you alive and i love it so much, even the very end of the game doesnt let up, where the main villain is overtaken by that absolute madman Dimentio (Whose name is a play on both Dimension and dementia), who clearly was powerful enough to have done the whole “ending of the world” himself, but did it this way for the theatrics of it

there’s a lot i could still say about the game, but this post is absolute rambling and its 2 in the morning but as usual, i just wanted to shit my thoughts onto the internet to people could maybe learn somethin about either the game or me and how i think and look at and respond to stuff, and as always, anybody who read this whole thing is cool and i love you a whole heck of a lot

#long ass post #Super Paper Mario

[redscullyrevival]

I finally saw The Last Jedi and I liked it - what I wasn’t entirely anticipating is that I also really enjoyed it! I will now commence bullet point blabbering about the film below the cut and it shall not be spoiler free. 

I now understand all the raging nerd-hate this movie has been getting - this film aimed to straight up burn this motherfucker down, huh? 

Loved it. 

Personally I was very… underwhelmed with The Force Awakens. It was a fun romp and I loved the new characters and the nostalgic twinge of the familiar but oh boy the entire thing felt far too beholden to the pedestal of A STAR WARS FILM! in slow steady blinking lights. 

The Force Awakens has that octane Abrams pacing but it is also just so damn stiff. So ridged. And obviously deeply afraid to wander off the path. 

I understand that the first re-introduction to such a beloved franchise playing it (excruciatingly) safe made sense; but I was still upset with the final product, with the final choice to deliberately aim to be nothing more than what I’ve seen and felt before.

The Last Jedi on the other hand turns out to be a long, cozy, chat about how A STAR WARS FILM! should be struck down so something new can grow. 

Hallelujah!

The visceral attack this film must feel like to a particular kind of Star Wars fan is no doubt very intense and in all honestly I do have some pity for folks who found this new film to be dismissing the legacy they feel connected to in deeply personal ways. 

*clappy hands*

But oh, I loved it so much!

Every twist and turn, every aspect of this film pushes the anticipated rhythm of A STAR WARS FILM! away; all the momentum the film gains is for the final purpose of rejecting everything easy and expected, for pushing past, well, the past. 

Hot damn, the nerds are kind of justified for once.

The Last Jedi came for them! It went so hard! The more someone had dug themselves into the belief that STAR WARS was a solid thing they knew and understood on a fundamental core level then the deeper the cut would go as the film raged on. 

The anger, the hate from certain fandom circles makes total sense. 

Because this film done changed the Star Wars. 

And it was about fuckin’ time. 

So prepared was I to sit through The Empire Strikes Back: The Remix that the intense gut fans-hate-it reaction the film got opening friggin’ day got me all kinds of delighted, how I saw it such a reaction signaled that this new film would be something actually new. 

And the fresh air of The Last Jedi comes from some pretty drastic subversion of A STAR WARS FILM! It is down right beautiful.

Ultimately, if the choice to change Star Wars was just to grim dark and edge it up then it’d be pretty terrible I agree, but The Last Jedi managed to alter and course correct massive change without breaking the frame of the how and the why and to whom these STAR WARS stories are told. 

I mean, in my opinion anyway. 

I felt the film put a lot of care and love into explaining to the audience what was right and natural about change, explaining that strength could be found in letting go of our nostalgia and expectations and opening up to new experiences in old sandboxes. I felt The Last Jedi was an oddly gentle film that knew it was going to frighten some while igniting others and did it’s best to show it’s good will towards signaling hope and legend and legacy into a shared experience. 

*shrug shrug shrug* YA FEELIN’ ME?!

I know I already have a spoiler warning above the cut but now I am going to really get up in this film and push my eyeball up against it’s eyeball and hey if you wanna see all particulars feel free, but this is now specific spoiler territory, thanks and happy holidays:

I was so enthralled with Finn and Rose’s quest and I was ecstatic when it didn’t work out.

The two went on a space goose chase for a daring rescue mission and got into ruffian escapades and thought on the fly and were brave and funny and were livin’ that STAR WARS life - and they failed spectacularly.

Their mission, their rip’roarin’ escapade, was in fact a brash and ill thought out plan that almost got absolutely everyone killed. 

Precious, lovely, daring, and confident Poe Dameron was a horrible leader. 

His belief in a desperate gamble; his total confidence that he was in the right and the stuffy Vice Admiral didn’t know when to take a risk; the audience knowing his qualities as sure fire STAR WARS leadership was all for nothing and people died for it. 

I said HOT DAMN!

This film made General Organa and Vice Admiral Holdo, two older women who don’t run around with blasters in hand but who have no less twinkle in their eyes the true leaders of the resistance. The true bearers of the spark of rebellion. It was their matured tried and true mentorship that ended up saving them all - not the cocky charisma of a younger good looking man.

Also Leia is confirmed Force Sensitive™ bringing to an end decades long old guard fans bickering and moaning over if she has pretend magical powers or not and why if she did that’d be “not right”. 

(Seeing Carrie Fisher bathed in moonlight was emotional)

And then, oh man, Rey’s parents? Wonderful, soulful, bright and strong Rey? Because she is in a STAR WARS film and can use the force everyone including people who’ve never seen The Force Awakens assumed her parents were a part of the legacy, a part of the grand scheme.

NOPE.

In fact, to really drive it home just so fans can’t possibly be confused, Kylo Ren tells her “You’re nobody. You don’t belong in this story.”

He said that with his mouth words!

But there she is all the same, good old Rey. And she’ll remain. Without being so and so from extended universe’s kid or a character only in some comic book or Luke’s secret child or whatever. 

Rey is just a character made to be there and to use the force because, hey, it’s a STAR WARS MOVIE! We needed someone to be the Luke this time around so why not Rey? 

PS we shattered Luke’s lightsaber and made Rey indebted to jack squat of this franchise. She searched for her purpose and her parents and only found the strength of herself and her own choices. Peace out!

That tickled me senseless, having the cultural institution of STAR WARS being full on assaulted for two and a half hours.

That tickled my pickle. 

The Last Jedi is hyper self aware media, but it was still fun. It was still a good time but it laid down hard and fast with changing the lifeblood of STAR WARS that even I, who is nowhere near as big a fan as someone you could probably hit with a stone’s throw, admit to feeling some uncomfortable chafing at times while watching.

STAR WARS is a legit cultural institution by the way, I didn’t just say that for the fun of it - that’s absolutely 100% true. 

Star Wars as a media, as a franchise, has an ebb and flow of patterns, style, symbols, and motifs that dictate a tonal cohesiveness which designates something as recognizable as STAR WARS.  

What I’m doing when I all caps “Star Wars” is I’m trying to defer attention to the known concepts and ideas of Star Wars media as a whole cultural institution and experience rather than just invoking a cluster of films, only I’m trying to do all that just through the written word.

Star Wars is a film and STAR WARS is all that which defines the franchise as well as our shared cultural understanding of said franchise, ya fell me? That’s how I approach talking about this kinda stuff online anyways. I feel most will understand what I’m doing with the capitalization and all that but hey, now ya know ‘fo sure. 

Anyway

Shit y’all! Luke Skywalker is a funky sore spot huh? Loved that too. 

Lets get to that Kylo Ren:

Kylo Ren’s entire set up is that he ain’t Vader and fuck, ain’t that the truth. But in a good way. Duh Kylo Ren is not Vader, he is a different character. And, now, he isn’t even remotely similar to Vader as a STAR WARS character. 

Everything about Kylo Ren is opposed to Darth Vader; while he gain’s definition with this new film Kylo Ren didn’t even remotely start out as a mysterious villain like Vader originally did. 

We all knew, in that STAR WARS fashion, that Kylo Ren had to be tied to the legacy. We all knew that he had to be tied to the lifeblood of the franchise. And Ben Solo absolutely is. 

We knew this before Han ever revealed it through dialogue and that’s why it wasn’t a big reveal in The Force Awakens. Of course Ben Solo turned to the dark side and is Kylo Ren. Of course. Of course he has some weird Vader obsession, the character needed to emulate Vader so as to take up his mantel in the narrative and in the franchise. We needed a baddie in a helmet, stat!

But oh, look what has happened though, oh man:

Luke Skywalker in a moment of fear almost murdered his own nephew  -because he is in STAR WARS. 

We all know if there are Jedi then there is a light and a dark side of the force; we all know that if you are a master of and a teacher in the ways of the force you open yourself and your students up to a choice; and we all know that fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering. 

Kylo Ren being a direct response to Luke friggin’ Skywalker is as far from Vader as you can get but fits just so right within the cleansing fire that is The Last Jedi. 

The hero of the first saga ignited the villain of the next. 

That ain’t very STAR WARS and something tells me that is the biggest kick to the crotch for a lot of folks. 

I, of course, dug the hell outta that choice.

Kylo Ren is actually interesting now. Mischief managed.

The very not subtle social commentary the film was dishing out was a pretty pie to boot. Bit on the nose but hey, ain’t that STAR WARS at least? Didn’t even have to dig this time around, gems sitting right on the surface.  

… Damn, I’m tired. I still have plenty to talk about though. Hmm, well, lets close this out on a different note (and that’s a pun):

The music of STAR WARS is bonkers recognizable. Like, I keep saying Star Wars is a cultural institution that uses motifs and symbols as devices for defining itself, right? Yeah, the use of music in this film is a pitch perfect example of that. 

The Last Jedi seamlessly flows from theme to theme, with specific well known scores highlighting emotional call backs and in-story referenced characters - the use of music is the most traditionalist aspect of this new film (they even shook up the editing this time around - shock and awe). 

Smart though, if they fucked with how STAR WARS did music then even an impassive twerp like me would be pretty upset. 

For my money, the musical score is still the best thing about a good old Star War.  

#star wars #spoilers #ignore me

[skinks]

Pure Moments i want to remember about my conversation with nothing,nowhere the other night that will be of no importance to anyone else, but where else am i gonna put them huh, it’s my blog:

he had a fractured, or maybe it was a broken ankle? he broke it running and while on bedrest watched all of stranger things in two days. they made him take his cast off at customs lmao

likes synthwave. likes kavinsky!!!

i can’t get over this but he’s smol, like 5′5′’ or 6" maybe

when he first came over and hugged me he was like “aaaah you got the hoodie!” and i told him i had my reaper shirt on too and he said “oh you’re doubled up!!” skdfkjlskdj

it was a GOOD HUG MY DUDES no one arm dealio, no sir, he came at me with his arms out and we HUGGED. i probably said “hi, oh my god”

i think i managed to stutter about how amazing the set was and how much i loved the huge drums, and he was like “oh thanks yeah, we tried to make it-” and that’s when the others came over

one of them asked where the tour was headed next and he couldn’t remember so he went RUMMAGING down the front of his multiple huge layers til he found his lanyard, peered at it, and said “…. birming-ham?????” cute™

said “harry potter is sick” and then got really excited when we told him about the studio tour in london

has cute lil pointy TEETH

im p sure he’s vegan, and he’s big into nature and outdoorsy ecofriendly living, and talked about wanting to start a kind of sustainable community. said he’s rly interested in, and wants to teach bushcraft “and like…. chopping wood” but he said it so lamely after all the passion, it was funny as fuck. someone said he should visit the isle of skye and he was like “that sounds like something from skyrim!”

he said he saw us in the crowd cause we were being… Fairly enthusiastic

said his family are really supportive; i asked if his parents like his music and he got this really shy look and nodded, then told us he went home recently and opened the door to find them playing his album and he was like “mom you’re embarrassing me”

i mentioned this in my other post but i can’t believe we like the same fucking philosopher, how goddamn wanky is that

the other girl had done her own n,n print on her shirt and he took photos and when we were on the train home she got notifications saying he liked the posts on ig…. a sweetheart…

when we were talking about other soundcloud musicians i mentioned loving his collab with yung jza and he said “oh yeah, that dude is super underrated”

he told us his old rap name in like 2006 was “average joe” lmfhgkshfsk

he went to film school, and i saw an opportunity to ask him something i’d always wondered about. on this collab album he made with a producer called oilcolor, there’s a song that uses a sample from a movie, so i said “of all the movies, i was not expecting The Vow” and he started laughing and said “that was oilcolor! he was like ‘i think this’d be tight’ and i was like ‘hmmmmmmmmmm’ and he was like ‘nah trust me, this’ll be tight’ and i was like ‘…….yeah, this is tight’”

it was rly fuckin funny how he said it. saddest emotrap boy n,n thinks the vow starring channing tatum and rachel mcadams is tight

he’s made mountain dew commercials, but now he gets to make music full time which is awesome

i asked if he listened to metal and he said sometimes he skates to older stuff, like iron maiden, and he asked what i’m into and i promptly FORGOT EVERY METAL BAND I’VE EVER HEARD and i said “uhhh, like, more modern stuff” and he went “like gojira?” and i agreed and he said something else but i couldn’t hear

he likes the movies the revenant and captain fantastic

at one point we were talking about the merch (when i bought my hoodie the merch guy asked which shirt i had and i showed him, and he was like “aw man, i’m his friend and i don’t even have that one!” lmao) and i said that i liked the shirt his merch guy was wearing, and we were all peering over at the dude when he looked up, and n,n was like “we’re just making fun of you, don’t worry” jghskdgllhgfhafd

he used to do muay thai!!! i meant to ask if he liked martial arts movies but i forgot :’( next time fer sure

told us Xclusives about upcoming music, shhh

we talked about music a ton obviously and i mentioned this soundcloud rapper collective called disaster club cause i’ve been listening to both their songs all summer and he was like “disaster club? i’m in disaster club” and i thought i misheard him so i was like “wh-what? no fuckin way!”. he said something like, he’s on the producing side but he should try and get on a track and it blew my mind a little

he’s learning the piano, we were talking about making music and i said i played it and he was like “that’s so cool! i’m trying to learn”

he was just… so open about his life, for someone whose persona surrounding the music is so anonymous and defensive, it was really wonderful. plus he was super patient about photos and other ppl coming up to our little convo

one dude came up and was like “you’re welcome back any time, any venue, small venue, my house, my bedroom……… uh- my spare bedroom” and he just laughed and thanked him the dude was actually tungle user suppressyourdemons and in fact said: “ "You're welcome back to the uk at any time, your band can stay in my bedroom (then thought that sounded sketchy) so said spare bedroom" “ sorry i misquoted you my dude, joe was appreciative regardless

shdjjfjckfjsg I forgot that at one point my new pal cammy told him that he listens to his stuff at the gym and n,n was laughing cause his stuff is Sad and totally not workout music, and I was like "so people think you're sweating but it's actually tears?" and he laughed more. I stole that joke from a post about drake but whatever, it made him laugh 

OH YEAH i didn’t realise at the time but he signed my album by underlining his name with a lil reaper scythe… cause skully/reaper motif… idk that’s super goddamn adorable to me. i’m hugging it to my chest rn because two days later i’m still an emotional wreck

he gave my pen back and was like “that is a dope fuckin pen by the way” or something to that effect, then i DROPPED IT and he went to pick it up but he had a broked up foot so i did instead

i know this is all mundane as fuck to you if you’re reading this but i don’t waNT TO FORGET ANYTHING! nothing fuckin nowhere was gonna get my pen for me cause i’m a doofus! he hugged me twice lads! fuck!!

i asked what his favourite video was to make and we joked about the hearse in skully and he was like “yeah that’s just my regular car”

we were all talking at once about our favourite songs of his and i said “bedhead always makes me cry” and he was like “aw man, bedhead? that’s old school” and he looked pleased ;u; 

said he basically wears Hiking Dad clothes all the time

he was great at listening to everything we had to say, he would look and focus on each of us, just as interested in us as we were in him and i’m so so so soosososoo happy i got to experience all of this

fhskjglsgkj while we were talking about disaster club, for some tangential reason i mentioned kpop because one of the verses in a disaster club track starts by quoting exo’s kokobop, and before the word “kpop” was barely even out of my mouth he was like “shimmy shimmy kokobop?”

nothing,nowhere, who i think by now you know means a great deal to me, quoted exo lyrics at me. there’s a reason the whole night feels like a surreal hallucination and that’s why i’m writing all of this down

i mentioned how, when he still had a tumblr i’d written a post and he’d reblogged and replied to it AND HE REMEMBERED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he was like “oh yeah, that was a long time ago!”

I KNEW IT WAS HIM WHEN THEY CAME ONSTAGE AT FIRST FOR TWO REASONS! (u gotta remember i’d never seen his face before except for his skullface in the skully video) he was wearing a misogi hoodie, who’s another great soundcloud producer, but the font was like a black metal band lmao. the second reason was his nose. a good nose

the boi’s got Incredible cheekbones. he’s cute as hell but then i’m biased

put his arm right round my shoulder for the photo so i did the same ahhhhhhhhh

i told him how, when i first started listening to his music my main thought was always “is this dude ok?!” and he told us he’s doing better and putting it all into the music and tbh it’s a relief, like. listening to his music has always been cathartic for me,but at the same time i’ve worried about whoever was behind all that pain, for him to be able to write so clearly about depression. but he’s doing well! he said so! i’m extremely glad!

we were talking about the next time he’d be back in the uk and i said hopefully i’d have an n,n tattoo by then and he laughed and said “i don’t even have one yet, and it’s my band! i need to get one”

then we were all joking about something and i said “when you get even bigger, don’t forget about us” meaning the three of us there and he was like “i won’t!”

then he thanked us so goddamn gratefully for coming and said he had to get his cast boot back on his ankle, and i know, i know i am AWARE of how juvenile this sounds but when he hugged us goodbye he hugged me first. i know i was to his immediate left, but it still left me warm and fuzzy

LIKE!!! if that’s how nice it feels to be hugged by someone you’re a fan of, someone to whom you’re, well, just a fan - hugging a s/o must be magical

i’ve hugged so many friends this year. and troy baker. AND NOTHING,NOWHERE! TWICE! 

ok bye

#[aerosmith's don't wanna miss a thing playing deafeningly in the distance] #i pray to god he never sees this #he deleted his tumblr a while back so it's ok #nothingnowhere #nothing nowhere #joe mulherin

[frankmacari]

Guns N’ Roses’ Gargantuan ‘Appetite for Destruction’ Box Set: A User’s Guide

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Guns N’ Roses may have missed the 30th anniversary of their monumental debut album, Appetite for Destruction, by a year, but as with all things GN’R-related, it’s better late than never. To mark the legacy of the record that made them superstars, the band is putting out a multi-disc Appetite box set, which collects a treasure trove of B sides, outtakes, rarities and demo sessions – alongside an excellent-sounding remaster of the original album – for an exhaustive, comprehensive look at the band’s formative years.

A little over two thirds of the tracks in the super-deluxe edition (and its $999 counterpart the “Locked N’ Loaded” collection) are previously unreleased. The package includes early, noticeably different versions of “Welcome to the Jungle,” “Paradise City,” “November Rain” and other hits, as well as rare covers of Rolling Stones and Elvis Presley songs and even a few curiosa of their own that they never finished and released.

It’s easy to get lost among the many takes of “Move to the City” and “Shadow of Your Love,” so we sifted through it all to select the most noteworthy highlights. Here are the 13 most interesting things to listen for in the new Appetite for Destruction box set.

  “Shadow of Your Love” (1986 Sound City Session)

This ripping breakup song dates back to Axl Rose’s pre-GN’R band with Izzy Stradlin, Hollywood Rose, and it’s the one track here that really should have made it onto Appetite for Destruction. It’s raw, nasty, driving and catchy as hell. It’s even got a little “sha-na-na-na-na-shadow of your love” at the end, so maybe they cut it to allow “Welcome to the Jungle” to stand on its own two “sha-na-na-na-na-knees.” Nevertheless, they issued it as a “live” recording, included here on the “B-Sides N’ EPs” disc, as the flip side to “It’s So Easy,” though the two demo versions in the box set sounds more dangerous; the version on the “Sound City Session” disc sounds positively unhinged.

“You’re Crazy” (Acoustic Version) (B-Sides N’ EPs)

Before they released the stripped-back version of “You’re Crazy” on Lies, GN’R released this slightly faster (and truly acoustic) rendition of the Appetite track as a B side to “Welcome to the Jungle.” It’s a little looser than the Lies rendition and features copious rattlesnake shaker sounds and bells. Another acoustic version is featured on the “Sound City” disc, which goes to show that the band had envisioned the song acoustically as much as the electric version that made it onto Appetite. Also, check out the last few seconds of the acoustic version on “Sunset Sessions N’ More” to hear a cute back-and-forth between some of the guys: “I lost my fucking pick.” “I heard that but it’s gonna be OK.”

Three Songs Recorded Live in London (B-Sides N’ EPs)

At a Marquee Club gig about a week before Appetite came out, GN’R recorded a few songs that later surfaced on a self-titled, Japanese-only EP that came out in 1988. The production on these songs – “It’s So Easy” and covers of Bob Dylan’s “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” and AC/DC’s “Whole Lotta Rose” – isn’t the best (they sound like they were recorded in a closet) but they still capture the energy the band had at the time. Additionally, it’s curious to hear how they’d worked out their arrangement of “Knockin’” so thoroughly four years before they recorded it for Use Your Illusion II. It’s the arrangement they still use today, right down to the call-and-response middle section.

“Welcome to the Jungle” (1986 Sound City Session)

Before Slash discovered the delay pedal that made the intro to this song so iconic, “Welcome to the Jungle” was a straightforward rocker, as heard on this early demo. The “When you’re high, you never ever wanna come down” part is a little smoother here, and you can hear Rose playing around with the emphasis he puts on certain words (“You’re a very sexy girl,” and adding a little growl to “You can have anything you want but you better not take it from me”). It’s even got some looser, bluesier soloing.

“Paradise City” (1986 Sound City Session)

Another early version without all the Appetite version’s bells and whistles (and literally without the coach’s whistle), this “Paradise” lacks the more familiar take’s iconic synthesizer part. It subsequently leaves a lot of the musical work up to Stradlin and Slash, who go crazy on the extended outro. This version also doesn’t have all the false endings they recorded on the album version, runs about a minute shorter and ends with a very heavy-metal growl from Rose on “hooome.”

“Heartbreak Hotel” (1986 Sound City Session)

Axl Rose knows he’s never gonna sound like Elvis, so it’s up to the band to rev up the King’s classic to a point where it works for Rose’s voice – and it does here. Thanks to Slash and Stradlin’s chunky, Stonesy riffing (and a whirlwind, rockabilly solo) the song blazes at pace quick enough for Rose’s screech to sound bluesy, even when he sings “so fuckin’ lonely” instead of the original lyrics.

“Jumpin’ Jack Flash” (1986 Sound City Session)

Guns N’ Roses have always worn their love of the Rolling Stones on their sleeves. The last song the band recorded (to date) with Slash as a member was “Sympathy for the Devil,” but this version of “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” reflects a happier time, as Rose namechecks his band’s guitar players in the lyrics. “Slash was drowned, he was washed up, left for dead,” he sings at one point. “Izzy was crowned with a spike right through his brain,” he sings later. And at the end, he declares, “That one’s for your mama.” You can practically hear him smiling as he says it, too. (There’s also a more traditional acoustic version on the “Sound City Sessions N’ More” disc, which is also fun.)

“Ain’t Goin’ Down No More” (1986 Sound City Sessions N’ More)

This unfinished instrumental demo offers a glimpse of a song that the band used to play in the late Eighties. A version with vocals has floated around the bootleg circuit for decades, but it sounds muddy due to being copied from cassette to cassette. This version is a little faster, about two minutes shorter, and has a clarity that the bootleg versions lack. Still, it’s mostly a curiosity since the chunky, swinging riffing just begs for vocals.

“The Plague“ (1986 Sound City Sessions N’ More)

This driving, noodling little ditty lasts less than a minute and finds Rose sort of rapping along to a bluesy riff. It’s a mostly stream-of-consciousnes affair – sample lyric: “So you’ve been nailed to a cross, what it cost, what’s your loss, but you know that a cheap imitation just won’t free me” – and it seems like the fragment of an idea that the band probably could have fleshed into a full song if they had wanted.

“Back Off Bitch” (1986 Sound City Sessions N’ More)

Like “Shadow of Your Love,” “Back Off Bitch” is a song that predates Guns N’ Roses. A live recording of Rose and Stradlin’s early Eighties band, Hollywood Rose, playing the tune features the singer declaring it is “for every guy who’s got some girl that bugs the fuck out of him.” Slash gives it a bluesier quality with his soloing on this recording, just as he would do when the band recorded it officially for 1991’s Use Your Illusion I. It’s another example of how fully formed Guns N’ Roses were before they even made their debut album.

“New Work Tune” (1986 Sound City Sessions N’ More)

This acoustic number is another unfinished instrumental, on which Slash and Izzy Stradlin play around with opposing melodies. When Stradlin riffs upward, Slash plays descending motifs. Thanks to some percussion from Steven Adler, it’s a pleasant diversion in the vein of Led Zeppelin’s “Black Mountain Side” interlude. But with so much other, stronger material here, it’s clear why GN’R never developed it all the way. It ends with one of the guys saying, “Yeah, we should work on that.”

“November Rain” (Piano and Acoustic Versions) (1986 Sound City Sessions N’ More)

In a 1988 feature on Guns N’ Roses, Axl Rose crowed to Rolling Stone about an eight-minute ballad called “November Rain” and said, “If it’s not recorded right, I’ll quit the business.” In the group’s 1986 sessions – five years before it became one of Use Your Illusion I‘s breakout hits – the band toyed around with two different arrangements. The first here features only piano accompaniment and lasts more than 10 minutes. The form is mostly there, though it tends to drag on a bit without Slash’s solos or the hit version’s dramatic coda (here, a bluesy piano breakdown), even if Rose riffs on some classical piano melodies. You can hear his passion for the song as he sings, “You know, I just keep on walking again and again and again” toward the end of this version. The acoustic version runs only five minutes and would have worked as a ballad in the vein of Extreme’s “More Than Words.” It’s generally more morose than either of the other renditions and it offers an example of how hard Rose worked to find the song’s inner emotion. But listening to these two in the context of Appetite, it’s clear that it was still too undercooked to make the cut.

“Move to the City” (Acoustic Version) (1986 Sound City Sessions N’ More)

“I’m a West Coast junkie/an East Coast monkey, got an elephant dick under my arm,” or so goes the gang-vocal chorus that opens the ramshackle acoustic version of the Live ?!*@ Like a Suicide rocker “Move to the City.” They’d later take that couplet, fix it up, and use it on the first verse of Appetite’s “Nightrain.” Here, though, it simply sets up a fun, carefree jam full of hooting and hollering and provides an alternate look at what the song could have been had they not stuck it on the faux-live EP. Meanwhile, the 1988 acoustic version that closes the “Sound City Sessions N’ More” disc is more serious and would fit perfectly on Lies. Taken as a whole, it’s a rare glimpse of a band in the process of defining itself.

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#Frank Macari #music #vinyl records