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#i gave up by the end of this im so sorry
turtleplushi · 1 month
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Borb day
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sinclair (plural)
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ilynpilled · 8 months
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why must everything that the text clearly states atp be misconstrued like i really dont get it he has plenty of flaws in that relationship but we, and cersei, know that he was ready to kill robert for just the disrespect of the cheating if cersei said the word. he doesnt concern himself with the personal consequences, he is reckless, detached from a lot of things, and can close his eyes at the future if he doesn’t want to acknowledge it. also the concern over the “shame” and ned type judgement feels so overestimated to me atp. he never regrets aerys, he is mad at how he is perceived (but again, notably doesnt try to rectify it by telling the truth for a lot of complex reasons), but he would never take it back. if he believes its the right thing to do, and is not overdosing on copium trying to juggle vows he cares about, he will do it, reputation be damned. though he has selfish concerns regarding being viewed as good, the internal matters so much more than the external: see weirwood dream: who actually shows up? what makes the fire go out? “it was not him. it was never him”, see the trebuchet fiasco, see the choice in adwd. why shouldnt we take cersei at face value when she implies that if jaime knew about the physical abuse he would have killed him? he loves and cares about cersei to an insane degree, even if he can be selfish toxic and unhealthy too. i really find it very very difficult to imagine that he wouldnt have killed him based on almost every single part of his characterization.
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good-beansdraws · 4 months
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Thinking of a fantasy au teamup.... ❄️🔥
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sheepalmighty · 10 months
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Some more of that Chai joins Vandelay for half a day AU. Or just a picture of a kinda OOC Kale chilling if you wanna gloss over those comics. I'm still not sure if the colours are too garish or not.
These were mostly done with the premise of treating Kale's office like the hideout. I also really like how mundane, or familiar, the interactions between Chai and Kale can be in the game so I wanted to draw some stuff exploring more like that. But also, there's the ulterior motive of shipping so I included an out of context scene because I can't bother drawing the rest of it (though it seems like a huge jump in their relationship as a result. I think they're so big headed that they get stuck in a feedback loop of stroking the other's ego if an excuse comes up to do so)
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unganseylike · 4 months
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c-a-e-l-a · 2 years
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Preliminary thoughts on Leona’s advice for Jamil, his perception on Kalim, and the Scarabia development implied in Chapter 6′s ending. (AKA "A Pathetic Attempt at a Scarabia Essay”)
I think I am speaking for all of us when I say that Chapter 6 has, by far, been the most interesting and satisfactory Twst arc. Ever. I don’t know where to begin in describing it, honestly, but I think you would understand once you get to read it for yourself. 
I’ll mostly be focusing on the topics I stated above, but this post will still be laden with spoilers for Chapters 4, 5, and 6, so if you aren’t up for Scarabia-centric spoilers, please skip this post!
SCARABIA PRE-CHAPTER 6 (I)
In this section, I’ll be talking about the dynamic between Jamil and Kalim over the course of Chapter 4 & 5, as well as a few of their interactions in relevant personal stories. I’ll start with the latter.
(Source: Jamil’s Dorm Uniform SSR Vignette)
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It is a universally known truth that...Jamil has zero trust in leaving things up to Kalim. And we can’t really blame him---with the way they used to be, he couldn’t leave Kalim alone, nor could he rely on him to do something he’d been expected to do. 
(Source: Jamil’s Ceremonial Robes SR Vignette)
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(Source: Jamil’s School Uniform R Vignette)
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Many occurrences have been more than enough proof of that, and those few moments wherein Kalim actually was reliable paled in comparison to these negative instances. As such, it has so happened that, to the surprise of no one, Jamil has made a habit out of taking responsibility after responsibility and sparing Kalim none of it----adding further onto his contempt towards him and Kalim’s own ignorance to Jamil’s difficulties.
(Source: Book 4, Chapter 37: The Magic Dispelled)
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This has something to do with how, generally speaking, Jamil has always viewed Kalim too negatively. His frustration isn’t unfounded, of course, but he’s closed off his mind to the prospect of Kalim ever becoming more than what he already made him out to be---when in fact, Kalim is more than willing to become someone Jamil can rely on.
So, there. Jamil’s perception of Kalim hasn’t been the best...and naturally, it won’t change immediately. These are years and years of grudges we’re talking about, after all. It even reaches to the extent that in Episode 5-34, Jamil tells Epel that, “If he himself is laughing, then it’s probably not that heavy” when the latter mentions that Kalim was laughing despite talking about a traumatizing topic and sharing about the reason why he strives to keep living.
Jamil seems to view Kalim precisely for the first thing he sees of him, and not for what possibly lies behind all of his cheer.
Regardless...
(Source: Book 5, Episode 5-9, Translation by Shel_Bb)
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There have been cracks in that perception of his. He’s beginning to see facets that he’d failed to consider...
(Source: Book 5, Episode 5-34, Translations by Shel_Bb)
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...facets of Kalim that he struggles to acknowledge...
(Source: Book 5, Episode 5-30, Translations by Shel_Bb)
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...and facets of Kalim that he will only continue to realize.
SCARABIA PRE-CHAPTER 6 (II)
This part will discuss Jamil and Kalim’s respective character development after Chapter 4! I’ll start with Kalim’s.
As depicted in the set of photos directly above this section, one of Kalim’s most prominent realizations is that “he has never achieved anything if it weren’t for Jamil.” For all these years, he never believed that anything should be rightfully his...but at the same time, it never crossed his mind that all the acclaim he’d received happened not because he earned it, but because of who he is.
This realization frustrated him, and this spurred into him doing his best to stand by Jamil as equals. Borrowing my own captioning in Kalim’s TV Tropes page: 
He becomes more considerate of others as the main story plods on, and he strives to exert more effort to make up for all the times he “achieved” something despite not deserving it. He is also more likely to take action when he notices something is wrong, thus resulting in his meddling with Vil’s attempt at Neige’s life, unlike before when it’s implied he knew about Jamil’s hardships but didn’t do anything about it until it was too late.
The Kalim that we all see post-Chapter 4 is the Kalim that does his best to be more than what he used to be. This is the version of him that’s trying to become more independent of Jamil, slowly but surely...and while this implies for Jamil’s workload to be lessened, this development turns out to stress out Jamil all the more, as he still can’t trust Kalim to do anything by himself. We’ll get to more on this later.
Jamil’s post-Chapter 4 character development consists of him stepping up for himself more. He no longer lets the social hierarchy stop him from showing his potential---but that fact alone isn’t enough to prove that the mindset he’d always held still doesn’t affect him. Jamil is still in the midst of breaking free from the way he’s been taught to behave...and a part of him still views Kalim as someone he can never overcome.
(Source: Book 5, Episode 5-24, Translations by Shel_Bb)
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Jamil is a rather contradictory character, as it is often that his wants and his actions differ from one another. For instance: he wants acknowledgment and acclaim, but shies away the moment someone begins to praise him. He says that he knows Kalim is no match for him if it weren’t for his parents, and yet he subconsciously doubts that the sort of charisma Kalim has over their dormmates is something he can’t easily replicate.
When Vil assigns him as one of their group’s lead singers during the Pomefiore arc, Jamil instinctively declines it at first, in favor of Kalim, before stopping himself and accepting it. The beliefs his parents taught him are ingrained in him that deeply, and just as he perceives Kalim as someone who is always above him, he can’t easily overcome this mindset of his, too... At least, not until Leona’s advice.
LEONA’S PERSPECTIVE AND ADVICE
Although the available translations currently haven’t touched on this, the last part of the main story update certainly introduced good development between these unlikely pairs of characters: Leona & Jamil, and Azul & Riddle. This part won’t be as specific as the other sections because I’m just writing this based on what I know, but I hope I still get my point across. Azul and Riddle will have their separate ramble, they’re giving me so much brainrot rn.
(Source: Jamil’s School Uniform R Vignette)
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Even before their interactions in Chapter 6, Jamil has always been wary of Leona, as the Savanaclaw Dorm Leader was one of the few students who could very easily see through the facade he consistently put up. 
This same dynamic applied to their alliance as partners in hunting down the Ice Phantom---with Jamil initially being hesitant over partnering up with him---except that in that current instance, Jamil seemed to be insistent on “protecting” Leona, much to the latter’s chagrin.
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Jamil believed that he had to prioritize Leona’s safety amid this situation because he is the secondborn prince of the Sunset Savannah. This “overprotectiveness” was something Leona found unnecessary, and he didn’t take it well whenever Jamil prioritized his life over his own self. He thought Jamil was making too much of a big deal out of this.
This resulted in many arguments and fights between the two, and...yeah, they fought so much I forgot the exact arrangement for what happened...but, at one point, Jamil winds up in an outburst of emotion, and he laments that no one would ever understand where he’s coming from, anyway. Leona begs to disagree.
Leona says that he gets the gist of Jamil’s situation. He also adds that he knows Jamil is better than he initially let on, and explains precisely what Kalim has that Jamil doesn’t.
“...Charisma?”
“No, he’s got money.”
That conversation above is non-verbatim, by the way, lol. 
But what Leona meant to say, as a whole, was that Kalim had money and knew how to use it. Jamil was understandably baffled by this...but on my part, it made me realize how different others’ perspective on Kalim’s actions could be.
As players, we all know Kalim does most of the things he does because he’s a genuinely good person. We have the privilege to get a look-see into their character stories, after all. But to people like Leona, they see it differently. 
The renovation at Scarabia, the banquet they held for Crowley, the banquet Kalim held at the cafeteria, Kalim donating his share on the prize money to Ramshackle Dorm... We know and believe that Kalim did this out of the good of his own heart, but Leona sees it as a strategic expense of money.
It betters Kalim’s reputation, it gives chances for establishing useful connections...and many more. Of course, that doesn’t mean those are actually the motives behind what he did. It’s just interesting how others perceive these actions of kindness as something far more strategic, and it really makes one think about how much thought is actually put into every single one of those  monetary decisions, rather than them just being bouts of spontaneity.
As Leona states further on, people like Kalim usually go for their instincts right from the get-go. It might seem foolish, at first, but the conviction Kalim gives in every decision he makes is what what makes up for that said "foolishness."
If he thinks something is useful, then he'll go for it.
If he thinks that saying this is the right thing to say to a certain person, then he'll say it.
If this plan doesn't work out, then he'll just think up something else and try again.
Be it because of years of exposure to his family's business, or the socializing skills he'd gained from hosting banquets and being a people person in general, or the innate kindness that just shines from within him, Kalim, while still unpolished, had always possessed the qualities one would search in a leader. On the other hand, Jamil had been so desperate for independence that he'd made a habit of dealing with things on his own, making him incredibly capable...but also alienating him from his peers. He'd become so used to dealing with things solo that he failed to discover that there's more to being a leader than just being capable: the ability to inspire, convince, and empathize with others, the ability to know when & how to adjust to different kinds of people you'd end up working with, and how to lead them. Jamil has none of that, and he realizes this once Leona calls him out on it.
I have a lot more to say, but the bottomline is that: In Leona’s eyes, Kalim is already making use of his favorable qualities---his charisma, his wealth, etc.---and he’s imploring Jamil to do the same. To find what he’s best at and invest in it, rather than wallow in his closed mindset that’s been ingrained in him since young.
And that’s good advice, made especially more credible with the fact that it came from Leona, someone who understands the complexity of the hierarchy and Jamil’s situation. Jamil is shown to be thankful for this, and he admits that he has viewed Kalim and everyone else to be better than him subconsciously; this led to him holding everyone in contempt, believing that he could do better than them if he just had a chance to show his potential, despite never taking the stand to showcase said potential, anyway. He aims to fix his mindset from now on. And afterwards, Leona... He whispers to himself that Jamil better do that. 
Because at the end of the day, he and Jamil are different, and with this, Jamil at least won’t end up like him.
SCARABIA DEVELOPMENT (After two years of waiting, we Scarabia stans have won...)
Okay.
Okay so.
The, uh, the glomp.
Kalim.. about to hire the best doctors to check upJamil..
And the.
“Really... I never thought the day would come that I’d feel relieved to see your face.”
AND JAMIL ASKING KALIM TO GET OFF OF HIM AND KALIM SAYING HE CAN’T BECAUSE HIS RELIEF OVER JAMIL BEING OKAY MADE HIS LEGS FEEL WEAK
AND HIM TATTLING ABOUT HOW JADE SAID SMTH ABOUT THEM POSSIBLY BEING DEAD AND HE LOOKED SO ANGY LIKE >:000000
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THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A DECENT ANALYSES POST BUT IM SORRY I AM NOT GOD’S STRONGEST SOLDIER I CANNOT I JUST CANNOT
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AHEM.
Anyway.
Later, Kalim offered to help Jamil cut a tart while they’re at Ramshackle. Jamil told him to just sit there because he’ll take care of it...but then he reconsidered it, and said that he can at least get everyone a dish and a fork.
Such a small act is already so indicative of the development we’ve longed for years to see...and I think it’s pretty self-explanatory at this point how important it is that Jamil is now willing to accept Kalim’s help. He's acknowledged that shouldering all the burden by himself won't do him any good, and that by opening himself up to others, he can be able to discover more chances to heighten his potential. It’s a small step. It’s such a small step, and yet it matters oh so much. They’re learning to have a healthier relationship, bit by bit :”)))
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Yes it is
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w1f1n1ghtm4r3 · 9 months
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anhane week day 6: angst/domestic - combine both and you get some post-lutf hurt/comfort?
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skunkes · 7 months
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experiencing a weird thing where im trying to go to sleep earlier (because im tired and sleepy) but i take so long to fall asleep its the exact same thing as just going to bed late...feel so hopeless and i always end up tired either way... im very big on "i can always try again tomorrow" mentality in any way it can be interpreted (interactions with others, mood, the amount of work i do etc) but its so hard to Try Again when you're always too tired to do anything...
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macroglossus · 4 months
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being evaluated for adhd by having one of those full psych evals that last like two hours. scared frightened etc.... last time i took it i lied extensively bc i was 13 and thought they might tell my mommy if i said i had suicidal thoughts. and i still have a habit of lying to therapists bc i'm embarrassed......... AGH idk. what if i take it and they tell me that the reason im Like This is bc im genuinely just weird and shitty and not bc im mentally ill at all. SCARED
#which is dumb bc i have been formally diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses i dont think they can just take it back right?????#this is so stupid and cliche but what if i have been faking it........ all along........ Argh.#when i was in res i was put on adderall (bc the house psych just kind of experimented w meds LMFAO) and i had to go off them after like#two weeks bc it was affecting my appetite in a way i couldnt afford at the time lmao. but i do genuinely feel like it helped during that#time.... which is why i want to go on it again!!!! but im scared theyll just be like nah and i wont be able to take any of my meds anymore#is that crazy. am i being crazy rn. idk i truly do think most of my experiences w school and like. life could be explained by adhd and#when i was a kid they thought i had it but the two meds they tried didnt work for me so they just. kind of gave up#and i was really extremely unable to do school and graduated hs w an insanely low gpa and then dropped out of community college. LMAO. not#that people w adhd cant be good in school i just couldnt make myself do homework and couldnt listen in class bc i was too busy focusing on#listening. if that makes sense#IDK. idk. i know it's become like. a trend to have adhd is the issue and everything is being attributed to having it so im worried that ive#like. accidentally fallen in w that? even though ive thought i had it for forever and everyone has been like girl do you have this. IDK!!!!#idk. idkkkk im just like. genuinely scared. it's not the end of the world if im not diagnosed obviously but that means that#im just like this for no reason at all. and there's no way of helping it bc it's just the way i am. and i actually am just shitty n lazy.#epic. which incidentally is the proper name for how fucking long these tags are my bad. if you read this far sorry for being insane 👍
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tunabesimpin · 2 years
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Otter + Kalim!!! Happy fellas!!!
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Why??? Don’t drop this chapter means a high possibility of gojo being alive him yuta and yuji will fight against sukuna trusttttt
anon i’m literally in mourning rn 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 using this ask as an excuse to rant about this chapter because i’m bitter don’t mind me
(jjk chapter 249 spoilers under cut !!)
to be clear i’m not actually dropping the manga lol i could never but i am eerily tempted <333 this is the only time i’ve actually been upset w akutami (normally i’m his white knight)……. i just feel sooo disappointed? part of me still has hope but i just. ack. :’3
first of all!!! i 100% believe gojo is alive and will return, and also that yuji & yuuta will be able to get gumi back (not sure if that’ll end well tho lmao) so i’m not worried abt that!! and i’m very hyped for sukuna vs yuuta in general, yuuta’s domain is sooo fucking sick and perfect for him!!!!
to be perfectly clear!! i’m upset about this <33
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…………… i was so convinced that kenny wouldn’t die but my hopes are almost completely crushed atp… this just Feels like a death moment yk?? and i’m so disappointed not ONLY because kenny is my favorite character but also because this is such an unsatisfactory conclusion for him. :( kenny has so much depth and he’s so important for the narrative, so the fact that we didn’t get a single inner thought from him in his dying moment is like. sacreligious to me. TO BE CLEAR i LOVE his last words and the fact that he mentions takaba (kenkaba stays on top <333) and he looks super good in this panel also… but his death still feels so out of nowhere and unfinished to me.
a part of me is still hoping that he’ll survive somehow, or that we’ll at least see more of him through flashbacks or some afterlife sequence or whatnot, but i kinda…. doubt it. and that irks me. like i’m sorry but to me this just feels out of character for kenny?? he just accepted his death??? really????? he literally spent a millenium planning the merger and culling game just to satisfy his curiousity and suddenly he’s fine with not seeing it?????? i had this whole theory that kenny would find meaning in death (since it’s something completely outside his control, which is explicitly what he was searching for all along) but we didn’t get a single inner thought. no look into what he feels except that he’s happy to have met takaba (which is really sweet and i cried but that’s besides the point)…..
AND THEN THERE’S ALSO HIS CONNECTION TO YUJI. really???? we’re never gonna see a confrontation between them???? yuji is never gonna learn that kenny is his fucking mom????? even if choso tells him or whatever it doesn’t feel conclusive. i’m just mad because it feels like gege had soooo much planned that he wasn’t able to execute because the manga industry is running him ragged and that just sucks :(((( like. hahhhhh….. i just really feel that a villain as wonderful AND as important as kenny deserves more than just a couple panels for his death. naoya got more than that. obviously he was gonna die at some point but i had such high hopes for his final scene and even though i adored his fight with takaba it doesn’t feel right for him to die here.
so as u can tell i am extremely upset <333 i’ll get over it soon and i still have just a tinyyy bit of hope that we’ll see more of kenny but i just feel… so let down by this. i’m gonna treasure the kenkaba panel forever and ever and (again) i LOVE his last words but i just can’t feel satisfied with his death. for now i’m just gonna wait until tcb translates the chapter because the translation i read was clunky…. but i kinda doubt it’ll change much T_T
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jonny-b-meowborn · 11 months
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look I am fully aware that I'm the weird guy here for being into whatever Jarod has going on but honestly I sometimes wonder. Did the developers do it on purpose. Did they know that they're making him kinda. Y'know. Like I'm sorry for being a lil freak but some of his lines are just like. It feels like they knew what they were doing
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yxstxrdrxxm · 2 months
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AND THATS A WRAP !
Hello, hello! It's me, the local dumbass that went "lol lets run this silly event" since January. I'd like to say thank you so much for participating!
I never thought that so many would look @ my blog event and go ":D lets go get matched w/ yans!" LIKE?? HELP WE GOT A LOT OF SUBMISSIONS SINCE DAY 1, IT MADE ME GO "oh shit" BAHAHAHAHA
But fr, I want to say thank you so much. To those who came in to join the matchup, to those who participated as anons to the story that was unfolding, and to those that were theorizing and even lurking:
Thank you so much for giving me a chance. You guys have no idea how much it means to me to celebrate this milestone with all of you.
I would love to mention everyone of y'all that joined to leave my special thanks, but this post will be lengthy if I did that and I... Am NOT about to make it too sappy LMAOOOO
Now! On the update + future plans:
The rest of the fics will be posted but slowly and will be saved as special dlc fics of One Last Call. This covers additional lore of the worldbuilding behind OLC, but there are some that won't be written (Freminet and Aether are unfortunately those I can't write as yanderes) to lessen the load. Also, some will be shorter/snippet wise, but we shall see.
I will be making a "story explained" post for OLC and the characters behind it. This goes into the possible "what ifs", the original draft of the story (storyboard lol), what each character would've been in my plans, and everything in between! (Also, there may or may not be drawn sketches for each of them. Maybe kek).
The next event will be happening on March. I won't elaborate what it'll be, but it will be indulgent and maybe a little funny (for me). It'll also last for a week at most so I don't end up burning myself out LMAOO
Finally, I will be hosting small event for Cupid, Eros, and Boss. They won't be big, but they will have their spots when I planned out what'll happen to them. (Hint: you guys are going to see them often on your feed if you know where to look ;>)
For now though, I will be finishing up the drabbles and pray I get them queued to finally archive this event. Also, I will be responding to asks + cleaning up my inbox again when I'm done :)
Once again, thank you everyone. I genuinely thought that running One Last Call will not work out back then (I told a few friends I was scared that it won't take off as it did), but I pushed through it anyway since I thought it'd be fun anyway. And to see everyone enjoy it is the best feeling I've had since opening this blog.
I hope all of you enjoy chilling as I try to write + post the drabbles for OLC before concluding its tale... And hopefully writer's block does not slam its gavel on my ass BAHAHAHAHAHA
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WAIT MAN IN GREY IS GONE??? NOOOOOOO
Then besides you. Who else in the Aesop community/family is still alive? I havent been on tumblr much so it was a shock not being able to find Man in Gray anymore 😭😭😭😭
Ah... I'm actually kind of surprised that u think that my blog is still alive (well, barely, but i try) (work is seriously draining nowadays among other life tm stuff)
Tbh I feel like I've fallen out of the ask blog community for a while now. I always say that there's definitely some out there that are vibing, I'm just not aware of them since most of the blogs that i tend to interact with n know arent exactly very present in the scene anymore, but just cos I'm not aware of it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Probably.
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