#i gave up drawing their vests correctly lol

[beforethebraces]

Moments In Laser Tag

(calum thomas hood is a fucking babe. I’d do anything for this boy. number 1 bub of life heyoooo)

Pairing: Calum + Y/N

Rating: if you ever been to a laser tag match, sometimes it gets nasty. it’s like a full on war in there, lol. so be warned. 

Requested: nope.

TW: swearing, friendly taunting, the intensity of a laser tag game. some awkwardness present in here.

Key:  (trying something new, heeeeey)

Y/bf/n - Your best friend’s name Y/bf/s/n - Your best friend sister’s name

***

Moment 1: Introduction

When your best friend invited you over to her baby sister’s birthday party at an indoor family fun center, you didn’t think one of options for games was laser tag. It was a bit odd considering the birthday princess was turning 5 and didn’t know anything about this game but if you knew one thing for sure, it’s that you’d have to protect your favorite girl since she’d be an easy target to other players. Speaking of which, as the workers were prepping the safety rules video, another worker and a group of 4 people entered which caused everyone’s eyes to fall onto them.

“Sorry Matt, we have a last minute group who wanted to join in on the fun.”

“No problem, we didn’t start the video yet so you made it just in time.” Hushed whispers from your group of friends and two other guys soon filled the room and you would’ve been one of them if it wasn’t for the little girl grabbing your shorts to get your attention. “Y/n.”

“Yes bubs?” Watching her motion her hand to come down to her height, you bent down and offered her a smile as she leaned in to whisper into your ear. “It’s 5sos! Did they come for my birthday party?” Giggling, you looked her in the eyes and held her shoulders softly. “I don’t know, maybe they did. Maybe they didn’t. You must be happy either way right?” Watching her nod her head happily, the worker called for everyone’s attention so they could finally play the video.

***

Strapping on your vest and hearing some of your guy friends wanting to team up with what little guys were in for this match, your best friend tied up her baby sister’s hair as you decided to help out with the small girl’s vest. “Y/bf/n, can I be with you guys?”

“Of course silly. Do you think I’d be a nice a sister if I wouldn’t let you? Come on girl, it’s all about you today and you have to be on the winning team!” Watching them talk, you finally strapped her in and stood up, fixing your hair into a ponytail. “Don’t look now Y/n but Calum is so checking you out.” Y/bf/n teased as you laughed quietly. “Shut up hoe, he’s probably looking at you.” Hearing a gasp from both her best friend and her sister, the girl stuck out her hand for a quarter, knowing you had swore. “Oh yeah Ms. Sassy pants? Excuse me, Matt was it? My oh so dear best friend needs you to make sure she put on her vest correctly!”

Opening your mouth in shock from her bold move, the worker trudged his way towards you as your friends laughed at the obvious set up. When you glanced towards Calum’s direction, you had seen him nod his head while he was laughing to himself then after, continuing on his conversation with Michael, Luke, and Ashton. “Really?” You mumbled to your friend as she shrugged her shoulders as Matt gave you the ok that you had your vest on right. “You deserved that one.”

***

You were prepared for the dark room but what you didn’t expect was the fog. It felt heavy when they allowed your group to go in first and once the game started, you knew you had to suck it up and play. You also knew some of your guy friends on the other team would play dirty so you kept your best friend’s sister near you at all times. No one was going to shoot the birthday girl, definitely not on your watch. With y/bf/n trying to take down the opponent's bases, she left you in charge of babysitting as it was part of the group’s plan and not even three minutes into the game, you came face to face with 5sos.

“Y/N! 5SOS!” She screamed excitedly as you told her to quiet down. Spotting one of the two boys she saw earlier in the video presentation, she aimed her gun and shot his vest causing his lights to go down for five seconds. “Dude, don’t you dare or I’ll get your friend to come for you as well!” Feeling your shorts getting yanked again, you focused your attention back on the girl as you heard the noise from your vest getting deactivated.

“Needed to do that.” Michael announced as you smiled. “No big deal. Hi, I’m Y/n, this is Y/bf/s/n. She’s a big fan of you guys as am I.” With all four boys properly introducing themselves, y/bf/s/n asked if she could hug them which they happily agreed to. After all that and shooting some of your guy friends, you looked at your favorite band and grinned. “So what brings you boys here? I figured you’d have a private playing session given that your ‘celebrities’.”

“We wanted to join in and see what all the hype was all about before the rest of our party showed up. Get a feel of the game before we dominate and crush our friends.” Ashton answered as you nodded your head, understanding their situation. “Don’t take this the wrong way but you seem awfully calm about meeting us here. I get that everyone’s different but, actually wait, this is a nice change.” Luke spoke as you chuckled softly. “No harm in that but I would’ve been fangirling if it wasn’t for the fact we’re playing laser tag. Also, just because your one of my favorite bands doesn’t mean I’ll go easy on you.” Noticing their face scrunch up in confusion, you aimed at Michael’s vest and deactivated it, also doing the same for Luke and Calum. Y/bf/s/n got Ashton who feigned death dramatically, causing the girls to laugh wholeheartedly. 

“That’s your first warning. And tip number one, in here; don’t hang out together all the time. You become easy targets for the other players.”

“Wow, are you a professional?” Calum questioned as you blushed. Thankfully, since it was dark, they couldn’t see your face turning red. “No, it just makes sense. By the way, Ashton, she’s your favorite.” You spilled as Y/bf/s/n looked up at you in horror like you revealed her deepest, darkest secret. “You promised to never tell anyone that!” In retaliation, he defended her by shooting your vest. “So if I’m her favorite, who’s yours?”

“If you want to know, you have to get me! And remember when I said about not hanging out together because you’re easy targets?” Watching the colors fizzle out on all four of their guns and little patches on their vest, you looked behind them and saw the only guy on your team assisting you. “Thanks, bro!”

“I told you I was a good shot ma!”

“I said to not call me that!” Running away with y/bf/s/n following behind you, you glanced back and saw them split up before catching Calum’s smirk and ‘I’m watching you’ motion. Shaking your head, you began to play again.

***

Moment 2: Stealth at it’s finest

It was your third gameplay and while it was you and your best friend who decided to keep playing before a break, you were against 5sos once more and two of their friends. Besides you and y/bf/n, your team also consisted of the two same guys from earlier which you remembered their names as Tommy and Ryan. “So, mami-”

“Oh my god Ryan. Shut it. I will go friendly fire on your ass if you don’t stop calling me that so don’t test me.” You grumbled as he raised his arms up in defense. “Fiesty but no, let me continue. We need to devise a plan and we’re outnumbered here. That guy Michael, he’s a good sniper and dodger. The other guy Calum is a heck of an observer along with that other dude, Mitchy. Luke is easier but he’s with Ashton who’ll sometimes back him up. I’m unsure about the Casey fellow.”

“That’s a lot of bro terms Ry.” His friend Tommy spoke as you nodded in agreement. “So what do we do?” Y/bf/n asked as you thought up a plan. They loved to hang out in pairs and sometimes, they come together to come up with a plan if there is a slight chance of losing. Thinking of their weak points, it’d probably be that they used the center of the arena as a meeting point and you came up with an idea. “They don’t ever go in alone and since they’ll be busy looking for us, they’ll forget about bases and bases are the ones where you can rack up the most points. It’s a risk but we have to go by ourselves. Activate a mine if you’re cornered and need help but that’s for emergencies only. Don’t draw more attention to yourself otherwise they will all get you. Since Michael is the sniper, he’d be guarding the center while keeping an eye out for the bases but don’t be fooled. He likes to shoot players more.”

“Damn girl, you’re so badass.” Y/bf/n laughed as you high fived her and joined in on her laughter. “If you’re at one of their two bases, shoot it and leave. Don’t wait around for one of us to come. We’ll get to it on our time.” Hearing the horn, signaling the match begun, Ryan looked at you impressed. “So mami, you taken?” Glancing over at his friend Tommy, he shrugged his shoulder as you aimed at Ryan’s vest and watched his smile turn into a frown. “We probably lost 5 or 10 points but we can get it back if you listen to me. Protect our bases when you can.” Splitting up, you ran behind a wall, almost near the center when you heard someone activate a mine and a girlish yelp. “Sorry Y/n! My bad!” Y/bf/n shouted.

***

Seeing one of the bases, you saw Tommy shooting up towards its ceiling, making the noise that someone got to it. Watching him duck near another wall and Michael running towards that spot from up above, you aimed and fired at him, making him have to wait 5 seconds which allowed Tommy an escape. Moving to hide behind the wall you were using, you heard Michael yell out a quick ‘fuck’ and some other words you wanted to laugh at. Noticing that Calum came into view, you listened intently, hearing one of your team’s bases get destroyed in the process.

“They’re really good at this. Almost like wannabe ninjas or assassins.” Calum vocalized as you made sure to stay quiet. Even if the music in the room was loud, you didn’t want to put yourself at risk at being caught. “I bet it was that girl you like who came up with it.”

“Could be. Can you believe she’s a first timer as well? She’s fucking good at this shit.”

“This game makes you competitive and even if you suck, you become good if you’re the one getting hit at all the time. It feels like the hunger games where only one can come out as champion.”

“True that but there’s something about y/n and it’s not because she’s kinda hot.” Covering your mouth to stop the giggles, Michael chuckled from the pun and pushed Calum’s shoulder playfully. “Bro, that was lame.” Deciding to focus on the game, you carefully hid behind the wall enough to stay hidden but enough to aim at Calum. Sniping him, you crouched and made sure none of the lights from your vest and gun were seen. “What the hell! Who’s there!?”

“Like they’ll tell you.”

“Still!” Aiming for him once more, you saw that he was getting frustrated and you felt good. You really loved this game! “Come on out or are you too chicke-” Michael ran away to another corner when he heard Luke yelp out in surprise. With only Calum in view and watching y/bf/n shoot either Casey or Mitchy to the left of him, you fired once more at Calum who looked everywhere for the culprit. Finding you, you gunned for the base and destroyed it, running away as he chased after you. “Y/n! Get back here you trouble maker!” As you heard the noise of your vest being disabled, you turned around having Calum bump into you as you both toppled over onto the ground, hidden by one of the statues. With him being on top of you, you blushed as he gazes down at you in shock and admiration. Motioning him to get off, he complied as you crouched face to face. Sitting down was against the rules apparently. “That wasn’t nice of you to keep hitting me.” Watching him raise his eyebrows in a challenging manner, you stuck out your tongue and fixed your ponytail. “I said I wasn’t going to go easy on you.” Gaping at the way you released your hair from its tie and putting it back up, he was in a trance. The way you looked doing something so natural like this caused his stomach to flutter around crazily and he didn’t understand why.

“W-wow. Y-you’re really beautiful.” As the music stopped and the lights turned back on, nothing could save you from showing that you were blushing at his words which caused you to cough uncomfortably and for him to grin. Helping you up and following him outside the arena, you inhaled a fresh breath as you checked the scoreboards. “We won by fifteen points! We survived!” your team cheered as you stared at the man in front of you. “Congrats.” Calum beamed at you, sticking out his hand for a hand shake. Accepting his gesture and looking at him shyly, he held onto your hand a bit longer until Michael patted his back, causing him to drop it. “We’ll get you the next round whenever that is.” Michael insisted, letting his friend know the rest of their friends showed up.

“I guess that’s my cue.”

“Right.”

“Y-you fight good.”

“You did not just pull a Mulan quote on me.” You chortled as he joined in before waving good bye to join his friends. Going back into the room to return the vest, y/bf/ waited for you and linked arms. “He was so flirting with you and I seen everything. Let’s rest before we continue.”

***

Moment 3: I swear he’s after me!

After a few more rounds and a short food break, they were back to playing laser tag again when the group decided to play free for all. Instead of hosting their own event, they decided to play with others again and Calum almost danced in joy when he saw you again. “You really like her huh?” Ashton inquired. “That obvious?”

“You’ve been ogling her and that guy for the past two minutes.”

“I do not ogle!”

“But you haven’t denied you were keeping an eye on them. Come on Calum, I think you should ask her out. Or at least get a number at the end of this round because it’s getting a little sad to watch. If you haven’t noticed yet, a lot of guys are starting to take a liking towards her. I won’t be surprised if one of our friends ends up liking her as well.”

“Is that supposed to be your idea of a pep talk?”

“Is it working?”

‘Tommy! That’s so not funny!’ You squeaked out as the boy across of you smirked and winked at you. It had caused Calum to grip his gun a little too tightly and he shook his head, knowing who his first victim was. He did not like this and maybe he’d take Ashton’s advice on what to do. “Good luck.”

***

While everyone was running amuck, Calum was currently in the center of the arena, staying out of sight until he heard your voice. “I swear to god Tommy! That little boy is after me! He has it out for me and only me! Before I can even aim, he’s already got me and it sucks!” Seeing your chest piece get disconnected, he saw a little boy run past him and decided to avenge you by getting him right back. The boy was so confused but continued moving on as he decided to approach you guys with Tommy disabling him as soon as possible. “Really dude?” Calum groaned as the guy ran away to give you some space. Sensing that you were still feeling awkward about the confrontation from earlier, he leaned against the wall piece and smiled smugly.

“Speaking of which, I hope you’ll be happy to know I got that little boy for you. He’s a quick one.”

“You heard about that?” Observing the way you stroked your arm in hesitation, he shot at the same small boy again as he seen him hiding in a corner, pining after you. “Oh yeah. I really do think he’s after you, Maybe he has a crush and is trying to impress you. It’s a total guy thing.”

“Does that mean you’re doing the same thing as well?” 

“That depends on if it’s working and if you might have a thing with that Tommy guy.” Peering down at your facial expressions, your nose scrunched up in bewilderment as you scoffed. “He has a thing for my best friend and he’s trying to get on my good side.”

“Duly noted. So do I stand a chance with getting a number at the end of this game? It’d break my heart if you said no.” Spotting the twinkle in your eyes, you pretended to think about it and nodded. “Sure thing lover boy.” He rolled his eyes and told you to follow him anyway, excited for the game to end.

***

Moment 4: You little shit!

In the same round, the game was getting even crazier and when the little boy kept coming for you and you calling him a little punk ass bitch, Calum would diffuse the situation and act as your bodyguard. You didn’t really need help but it was fun getting to know the guy you could only read about online and in the papers. He was super sweet and not to mention very funny. He was quiet and shy a few times but so were you so it wasn’t that much of a big deal. You still couldn’t believe you were hanging out with Calum Hood and it left you feeling giddy most of the time.

Crouching down behind a statue big enough to conceal the both of you, Luke came into your eye sight, alongside with a girl.

“Hey Calum, watch this. You’ll see why they’re my favorite targets.” You whispered as he shook his head in disapproval. “Really? My friends?”

“Just watch. It’s so funny.” Aiming at the girl right at her back, she squealed and turned towards Luke in horror. “What happened to not shooting me!?”

“How can it be me? I was standing beside you! Someone else probably did!”

“Then what happened to protecting me!?”

“I told you I suck at this! I literally have Michael covering us most of the time!” As they started bickering, you fired at her again and done the same thing to Luke which caused him to grumble. “You’re so bad y/n.” Calum murmured as you shushed him. As if on cue, Michael came into view as he crossed his arms. “Come on Hemmings. Defend yourself!”

“Someone has it out for us!” He exclaimed as you told Calum to go at it. Seeing Luke’s face fall even more, you wanted to burst out laughing. This was too hilarious! “See!?”

“It looks like someone has it out for you and just you Luke.” The girl retorted as she was about to walk away causing Calum to act fast and disabling her weapon. “Are you guys serious!?”

“That wasn’t us!” Doing the same thing to both his friends, he saw you giving him the thumbs up and a big smile, watching the scene unfold in front of them. “Okay, who’s there!?” Michael called out with Luke rubbing his head in stress. “You can get both of them but no- STOP IT!” It was Luke’s turn to laugh and Michael was about to growl back at him when you shot his vest making Michael mock him in return. The girl rolled her eyes and walked away, planning to go solo this time. Luke be damned. Pushing Calum to come clean, Michael seen him first and gasped. “You little shit! That wasn’t funny!”

As Luke got his revenge and fired at Calum, he jumped in joy, doing a little victory dance. “I FINALLY DID IT!” Michael waited a few seconds more before he could do the same thing. “That’s what you get Hood!” Leaning against the statue in feigned defeat, he waited for them to leave, signaling her the coast was clear. “You betrayed me and did me wrong. I’m hurt. Did you see the overkill?” He said as you busted out laughing in tears. Holding it in was a bad idea. “I’m sorry but I wanted to see what they’d do. They did not disappoint.”

“You’re lucky I saved you and took the fall!”

“Oh, my hero!” Putting your hand on your heart, he pouted and got vengeance by pointing his gun at you and taking you out for a moment.

“I deserved that one as well.” You giggled as he flicked you off. “I don’t want your number anymore.”

“Suit yourself.” Walking away, you counted to three in your head when you heard him sigh and follow after you. You were so glad you got invited to your best friend’s sister’s party. “I’m kidding. I did not get blasted by my friends just to not get it. I sacrificed my dignity for you.”

“Didn’t ask you to.”

“You pushed me out of hiding!”

“Don’t sass me!”

***

Final moment: The number

Y/bf/n was waiting for you outside, grinning like a madman when she had told you she had seen everything on the tv. Did you mention that while playing, there were cameras everywhere, tracking your every move? It was for safety reasons but realizing a few people seen you and Calum together, and maybe getting murdered by an 8 year old boy, you felt embarrassed.

“You got 7th place by the way. I was rooting for you to be in the top 5! But that’s expected seeing that all you did was get cozied up with Calum. So hoe, spill the damn tea. My sister has been driving me nuts waiting for you to come play with her again!” About to tell her the situation, Calum walked up to you with Ashton in tow. “I’m finally meeting the legend of this game.” Ashton spoke as you shrugged off his compliments. “Thank you.”

“So, that number?” Calum pressed as he gave you his phone. Inputting your contact information and him doing the same for yours, you switched back and also asked if you could hug him. “We were seriously standing shoulder to shoulder and you’re asking if you want to hug me? That’s backwards.” He teased as Ashton patted your head in mock pity. Pouting at their actions, Calum chuckled and opened up his arms. “Bring it in. I’m just a normal guy after all.”

“Yeah but I don’t hug normal guys and break their personal bubble without permission. I’m like a vampire.” You sassed back, enjoying the short and sweet embrace. Pulling away, y/bf/s/n came and grabbed your hand, wanting her turn to have your attention. “Me time now? It’s my birthday!”

“You planning to play another round?” Calum called out causing you to laugh and smile. “Fuck that, I’m playing mini golf or mini bowling with the birthday princess now! You’re on your own now”

“Why you gotta hurt me like that? Don’t go!” He joked as y/bf/s/n stopped walking and faced him. “No! My turn! It’s not your birthday!” When she yanked you down to her eye level, she grabbed your face and smiled. “You owe me 2 quarters now!” Laughing off the situation, you stood back up and winked at Calum, having the little girl drag you away with your best friend following in tow. “I’m still waiting for the hot new gossip. Should I plan the wedding now?”

“Oh put a cork in it Y/bf/n.”

“Rude.”

***

A/N: ......my comeback is finally here lolol. I know for a fact that there are some errors in here but I couldn’t find them. I’ll probably proof read this again later after I’m done grocery shopping and fix it then but I hope you enjoyed this :) up next comes my first ever; Ashton imagine, wooo! I’m so excited to write that one!

#5sos imagine #5sos imagines #5sos preference #5sos preferences #5sos one shot #calum hood imagine #calum hood imagines #calum hood preference #calum hood preferences #calum hood one shot #ashton irwin imagine #ashton irwin imagines #ashton irwin preference #ashton irwin preferences #ashton irwin one shot #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings imagines #luke hemmings preference #luke hemmings preferences #luke hemmings one shot #michael clifford imagine #michael clifford imagines #michael clifford preference #michael clifford preferences #michael clifford one shot #calum hood #ashton irwin #luke hemmings #michael clifford #5sos

[satellights]

Obligatory “I just had top surgery!” post/on having top surgery after having already had a reduction/on being trans and having to deal with medical professionals and such

PS: This is copied word for word from my reddit post, so apologies that it is not tailored to tumblr...I just can’t be bothered lol.

So just had top surgery! Thought I would write about my experience. I've seen at least one person on here who said they were looking into the surgeon I went to (Dr. Melvin Maclin in St. Louis, MO), as well as people who have been interested in getting a reduction, but worried it would make it impossible for them to have top surgery...I just had top surgery after having had a reduction two years ago.

I had top surgery with the same surgeon, and at the same surgery center I that I went to for reduction surgery. There were a few little things that have been different in comparison to the reduction surgery though, that I will talk about. Also, while no one was rude, inappropriate, or transphobic, there were two nurses who asked things relating to me being trans, one for an actual medical reason, and one just out of curiosity/to make conversation. I also have no idea who of the other people involved in my surgery actually knew I was trans (like the anesthesia team, etc). My surgery was written up on the papers as surgery for gynecomastia, so unsure who all knew it was actually top surgery lol.

An unrelated to surgery note: Dr. Maclin is the coolest dude. We have basically the same tastes in movies and pop culture. After my reduction surgery I gave him a figure of a Toho monster, as well as a dvd of this silly Japanese movie that involves like a robot, aliens, and just loads of wtf-ness that I knew he'd enjoy. Today he gave me a dvd of two Godzilla movies, and a Studio Ghibli film (surprisingly one that I had not ever seen...I thought I had seen them all lol). I have the first book of a Doctor Strange anthology that I finished recently, and plan to give him at my post op appointment.

**top surgery compared to reduction surgery on day of surgery**

With reduction surgery my parents came in with me from the start. With this surgery a nurse took me back to get me prepped, and then went out to bring my dad in to me. During prep for reduction, Dr. Maclin came in and drew his lines on my chest before the nurse did any other prep. However, today with top surgery prep, the nurse did all her prep like putting IV in and the things on my legs and such *and then* Dr. Maclin came in to draw his lines. It seemed like kind of a weird order to me, but whatever lol. With reduction surgery I had the IV in my left hand, but today I had it in my right. Because I had the IV put in before he drew the lines, when he needed me to do things like push my hands together to help show him where my chest muscles were I couldn't really do that with the IV in, but we figured it out and I was able to kinda flex my arms in the right way. The rest of prep was basically the same as before. Last time I just talked very briefly with one anesthesiologist, she asked the usual questions. However this time, it was like the whole anesthesiology team lol. I talked to the main anesthesiologist first, he asked his questions, explained in detail step by step what was going to happen with that (like we wheel you to the OR, put a mask on, put the stuff in your IV, once your out we put the tube in, then this is what happens while you're waking up, etc), which was really nice. I don't think they explained it all like that to me last time. Later during prep, two anesthesia nurses came in to ask the same questions, and ask if I had any questions. I got an antinausea pill just like I did last time. However, with the reduction surgery I think I had a lot of drugs put in my IV before ever leaving the prep room, and really don't even remember being wheeled out of it, and don't remember anything in the OR. This time I was like totally with it and awake while being wheeled to the OR, while scooting to the table, met another nurse there, and only very very vaguely remember the mask being put on me. Unlike last time, I woke up while still in the OR, but after all of surgery was over (so not like I woke up by accident lol, the anesthesia team intended for me to be on my way to waking up by that point). I woke up as they were just about to zip up the post op binder vest on me. One of the anesthesia nurses said they were going to put me back to the wheely bed, and not to help them (they didn't want me to move myself). When I got back to the recovery room, I was like wide awake, and I had to pee SO BAD. Like I don't know how tehfuk I was able to hold it while I was under, but I guess somehow I did. But I had to wait a little while (like about an hour), while my need to pee continued to increase, until I was finally able to go to the bathroom lol. With the reduction I stayed at the surgery center overnight, but with this surgery I was able to go home after having been awake for 1-2 hours. With reduction I had just drains, and they got taken out the next morning. With top surgery they stay in a week, and I also have a wound vac for that week as well. I don't think I really got any meds in my IV aside from anesthesia stuff, whereas with the reduction I had pain meds and valium in my IV before and after surgery. Immediately post op with the reduction, my arm mobility was really bad, and the pain was bad enough to need the prescribed pain meds. Today immediately post op I actually have a ton more arm mobility than I thought I'd have, and the pain is there of course, but it's mostly bearable, and pretty much up until right around now it felt like just muscle pain. It's only just now that I'm starting to feel some pain from pressure on the incision areas.

**on being trans and having to deal with medical professionals and such**

So it wasn't until I was all prepped for surgery, but before Dr. Maclin had come to draw his lines, that the nurse was basically like "oh wait...I need to get a urine sample" so we had to go over to the bathroom. We went in and closed the door, and it was once we were there alone that she asked me "you still have a uterus right?" and apologized and explained that it meant they'd still have to do a pregnancy test. Personally I just found it kind of amusing, but it also made me really curious who of the personnel there knew I was trans. Every person of the anesthesia team asked what name to call me. I don't think this had to do with me being trans at all, and just that the name I registered with the surgery center was actually a nickname of my legal name lol (my legal name is my new changed name, so didn't have to have my birth name on anything during any of this). They explained they ask that of everyone in case they need you to respond while you're still mostly under/half asleep, and they want to address you by a name you will be the most likely to respond to immediately lol. But for some reason them asking me this still felt a little like *"because you used to respond to a totally different name because you changed it because you're trans"*, but it still didn't really feel hurtful or anything. Then later in recovery when the nurse was taking my IV out, like she did when she was putting it in before she tried to make small talk to distract me. This time however, she started asking about me being trans. While I had no real problem with it, or with talking to her about it, it still felt weird because it came out of nowhere. She asked how long I had been transitioning. I told her how long I'd been on T, and how long I'd been out before then, but told her I couldn't actually remember whether it was two years or three years ago that I came out to my parents lol. She asked if they were supportive, so I talked about that a little, and explained while they weren't unsupportive at all that this has all still just been one big learning experience for them it seemed. She went on to say something like "yea, some parents wonder what they did wrong, and it's like 'you didn't do anything wrong'!" which made me smile, and made me feel good to know that her saying that meant she was most likely pretty supportive of trans people in general. After I talked about how long I've been out she asked me like "yea, but how long have you *known*?" which personally I found kind of rude of her to ask cos like that's kind of a *too* personal question sometimes. But still I didn't really have any problems with talking to her about it. She asked if I knew as a kid, and I explained I'd known ever since I learned about what being trans was and how I related to it 100% right in that moment that I was reading about what it was, but that when I look back there are definite signs in my childhood of me being trans, and had I known it was a thing back then I would have fit the trans as a child narrative.

Everyone gendered me correctly the whole time I was there. Even my dad which I was surprised about. He almost said she once, but switched to he after like 0.2 seconds of the "sh" sound coming out lol. My dad tends to just take ques from others around us if we're together. If the other people are calling me he, then my dad will do. But of course this sucks, when we're around people who have a hard time with pronouns and still automatically use she (like my dad's best friend does, and like my mom does).

Anyway, if anyone has any questions about any of this stuff, feel free to ask. I'll try my best to answer. Unlike with the reduction surgery, I for some reason don't feel like total crapola this time around. Last time I felt like the anesthesia did a real major number on my brain and I became a total dud, but today I'm feeling like I can actually concentrate on things like reading and writing and I think that's just totally wild lol, so I think I should be capable of answering any questions and such.

To those of you who are interested in hearing about having top surgery after having already had a reduction, at what points post op top surgery would you like updates on the differences in the healing/recovery process? Maybe every week? I will try and keep notes so I can share them with you all periodically through the next year, because I know there have been a lot of people around here who have been really interested in getting a reduction before top surgery, but are worried or don't know what to expect.

#mine #surgery #top surgery #trans #transgender #transmasculine #ftm #march 28 2017 #transition