Happy pride, the serial killer in the rabbit suit is queer. In all seriousness, I said I was going to write this headcanon awhile ago but I'm just getting around to it. Also: reminder that pansexual is an older term than people often think. Still, William usually defaults to "queer" on the occasion he's openly talking about his orientation.
William realized he was queer/pansexual when he was 15. It's the usual story: he developed an undeniable crush on a boy at school, but didn't pursue it. Obviously, he had grown up in a very unaccepting time and this wasn't something he was open about. His own feelings about it were initially mixed (a result of being raised in such a homophobic society), but by the time he left for university in America, he was neutral on his own queerness. It was simply a fact about himself.
In university he explored his sexuality thoroughly regardless of gender, both casually and in very brief relationships. While he still obviously kept his orientation private from most people, he did find some other members of the community he could talk to openly.
Finding out that William was queer in university wouldn't have been that hard, but afterward he starts being much, much more careful. Without getting into it, I think we all know that he couldn't afford to be outed with the type of business he was wanting to open. He (happily) marries and feels content that there's no way his orientation comes out. He does not and will not tell his wife about his queerness by default.
Then the divorce happens, he's left with custody of three young kids, and dating just isn't his priority, regardless of gender. Still, William absolutely would take the risk of dating a man and even disclosing this to his kids (if they're old enough to keep quiet about it) if he really, really liked someone and intended the relationship to be lifelong.
William generally doesn't care if his kids are queer, but his borderline obsession with keeping them safe (especially post-CC's death) can rear its head if they are openly queer. This is absolutely the part where he drops the bombshell of also being queer (if they don't already know) as a way to prove he has a "fair argument" about safety/homophobia. You might expect his reservation to be about the "optics" of him having a queer kid, but by this point (assuming his kid is coming out as a teen), he is actively caring less and less about that.
NOTE: In verses where William is lowkey obsessed with head over heels for Henry (which, lbr, can be pretty much from university onwards lmao), he is seemingly much more likely to hint at his orientation, although this is only around Henry. Of course, he's more likely to open up about it/flirt if he thinks the feelings are mutual OR if Henry's queer as well (and Will knows). He also just generally talks about Henry in a way that is. . . potentially telling. Still, he'll claim this is just admiration, which is half true.
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Screaming and crying rn how could you do this to me
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Holy Shit, It’s ACTUALLY Incorrect Valicer Quotes
Because @offwithhxrhead introduced me to this Incorrect Quote Generator, and I promptly began playing around with it a LOT:
Victor: What are you writing?
Alice: The Queen of Hearts wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting her know it's private information.
Smiler, looking over Alice's shoulder: This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.
--
Alice: How did you even get in here?
Smiler: Victor's window! Or, as I like to call it, "Smiler's door"!
Victor: I’m closing the window.
--
Victor: Can we talk about that mass email you sent?
Smiler: Why? It was important.
Victor: All it says is, "I'm back on my shit".
Alice, shrugging: The people need to know.
--
Victor: So, Smiler is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.
Alice: Why?
Victor: Because I've caught them trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.
Smiler, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.
--
Alice: I’m this close to falling in love with Victor.
Smiler: Your fingertips are touching.
Alice: Exactly.
--
Victor, about Smiler: I could fix them, but honestly whatever the hell is wrong with them is way funnier.
Alice: That's what any god probably thinks about me.
--
Smiler: [texting Victor] We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.
Victor: [texting] Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.
Smiler: [texting] Not when you’re playing with Alice, it’s not. They put words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”
--
Smiler: What’s it like being tall?
Smiler: Is it nice?
Smiler: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?
Victor: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.
Alice: It was one time!
--
Alice: Smiler, what do you have?
Smiler: A KNIFE!
Alice: Okay, have fu-
Victor: NO!
--
Alice: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY-
Smiler: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~
Alice: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH-
Victor, recording: This is so cute.
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//alright babes. here's the sitch. my brain's been FUNKY lately. it's hard to focus on anything for too long and I feel very overwhelmed with life. I'll be here when I have the energy to be, and I'll work on owed stuff as I have the muse for them. going in order is not working for me. if it's been too long and you wish to drop things, I completely understand. if there is something you're waiting for or want to check the status of, please let me know. I want to be mindful of everyone's feelings cuzz y'all matter to me, but I'm also not going to force myself to do things beyond my capacity. love and light, sweetlings. hope life is kind to you xx//
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