#i had a visceral reaction to the end of gone i'm gone

[lyssified]

fun fact

today i lerned that you can discover some Fun New Emotions by getting a little too into your bathroom mirror performance of wedding song, all i've ever known, gone i'm gone, and flowers one right after another

#hadestown #ask me how i am rn #i dare you #i had a visceral reaction to the end of gone i'm gone #lyss on their theater kid bullshit #hadestown side of tumblr do you exist #i hope this reaches you

[wisefoxluminary]

After watching Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 3, I've had a long and hard think about how Peter and Rocket's relationship was portrayed in the film and I think there is clear homoerotic subtext between them. For clarification, homoerotic subtext is when a close friendship between the same sex is portrayed similarly to a romantic one. Here is the instances it was implied throughout the gotg trilogy.

*Spoilers for Guardians of The Galaxy will follow*

When Rocket's life hung on the balance, Peter went to great lengths to save him. Throughout the film, he refers to Rocket as his "best friend". He blames himself for Rocket's injuries as he was drunk at the time and couldn't stop him from getting hurt. When Rocket laid flatlining on the bed and was near death, Peter didn't give up on him. He had hope that he would get out of this alive. He wasn't going to lose another friend. Peter had a heartbreaking, visceral reaction to watching Rocket die before him. He needs Rocket more than anything. He is the one that holds him together even in his darkest moments.

When Rocket comes back from the afterlife, alive and well, Peter hugs him tightly along with Groot, showing how much he cares about him.

"I'm not letting him go"

Peter and Rocket share the same interests in music. They both share ownership of the zune. Rocket can be heard singing along to the music like Radiohead's Creep in the vol.3's prologue. He has formed a special connection to music the same way Quill has had. The connection is utilised when Quill nearly sacrifices his life to get the zune back for Rocket. "I got this back for you" is a very powerful message. Music is the thing that brings them together and makes their bond stronger. His love for Rocket made him get the zune back. It was all in the name of love.

When Peter is away, Rocket would listen to his music as a way of remembering him and to feel that his presence is always with him. Rocket may love to make fun of Quill, but he is everything to him.

Peter and Rocket would argue about who was captain and bicker and throw insults at one another constantly. It was what made up most of the tension between them. They are like a couple arguing, with unresolved sexual tension they choose not to deal with.

Peter has lost so much in his life that he has become a shell of a man. Rocket is scared of losing people and desires to push people away. He blames himself for losing his friends all those years ago and can't bear to lose another. He is scared of disappointing them. They both understand these flaws and help each other work through it.

When the Guardians were in the Kyln Prison in Vol 1, Rocket wasn't afraid to defend Quill from those who desired to kill him. He was his bounty and if they wanted to get through to him, they had to go through him and Groot.

In Avengers Endgame, Rocket wore Star Lord's scarf as a mark of remembrance after his captain was dusted.

Rocket comes to pull Peter out of his drunken state. In that dark period of his life, when he was mourning Gamora in a unhealthy way, Rocket was the only one that was there for him. He took him out of that dark place and was there for him every step of the way.

Peter appoints Rocket captain and leader of the Guardians of the Galaxy at the end of Vol. 3 because he sees so much of himself in him. He has so much respect and honour for the raccoon after everything that he went through, that he needs someone who can protect those who can't fight for themselves. Those who were once in Rocket's position.

In the mid-credits scene, when Rocket and the new Guardians talk about their music tastes, Rocket introduces the team to the song "Come and Get Your Love" by Redbone, a song that holds a special place in his heart because it was Peter's favourite song. The way he talks about the song prior to playing it is quite melancholic because it reminds him of Peter. Now that he's gone, he misses him with all his heart.

My personal headcanon is that Rocket had feelings for Peter, but was too angry and stuck in his ways to admit it. When he was drunk, It hurt Rocket to see Peter in such a dark and depressing state. When Rocket gets hurt, it spurs Peter into action and it makes him realise how much he cares about the raccoon.

#roquill #guardians of the galaxy #peter quill #rocket raccoon #guardians of the galaxy vol.3 #homoerotic subtext #peter quill x rocket raccoon #short essay

[mister-eames]

Arthur/Eames headcanon q! Who realized they were in love with the other first? How long did it take them and What was their reaction to this revelation? Was it “oh shit! Deny, ignore, repress”, was it quiet resignation, was it “I’ll keep all my emotions right here and then one day I’ll die”? Do you think they ever thought they had a chance with the other? 🤔

Good questions nonnie!!!

Who realized they were in love first would probably be... Arthur. I really think Arthur, as a character, is acutely aware of his own feelings. Maybe he didn't articulate it in his own head as 'love' at first, but he knew it in a visceral way, in how it felt in his body, this combination of annoyance and fondness and attraction and a handful of something elses that makes his heart beat funny.

The realisation comes one night after a very long day at the end of an even longer job:

Arthur is decompressing, hiding out in the alley behind their workspace, sitting on overturned crate, smoking a cigarette, in a desperate attempt to get some air and space from a successful, albeit depressing extraction. It hit him different, this job. His mood is low. Melancholy echoes in him from their grieving mark. Eames joins him, the last team member who hasn't left, and brings a half-empty bottle of whiskey. He sits beside Arthur, comically cramped together on this crate, their sides flushed together. They smoke and drink together in silence, wordlessly passing the bottle and Arthur's lighter, listening to the sounds of nearby traffic. They've known each other a few years. Seen each other worse.

Maybe after a while Eames breaks the pretence of strict professionalism and puts an arm around Arthur's shoulders, loose and heavy, and maybe Arthur leans in to the touch, a little cold, a lot tired, and they both do something to lighten the mood like bitching about their coworkers. Eames is clearly trying to keep him distracted and comforted in his own way when he could have just left and gone back to his hotel but he's here, accent thickening as he spins some tall tale, winding Arthur up, but Eames is here and he cares about his job and people, even when he's valiantly pretending as if he doesn't. And that's so stupid isn't it, Arthur thinks, oddly fond, seeing right through Eames where he fools others. It's so dumb, he thinks, chest now aching for an entirely different reason.

It's not particularly in Arthur's nature to suppress most of his feelings. I don't think, canonically, that he's very good at hiding them at all. They're always sort of bubbling under a shallow surface and erupting in odd bursts. His reaction to the 'oh' moment is was more of the quiet resignation you mention, the sort of 'i'm going to fold this up like a note and leave it carelessly in my pocket to get crumpled and faded' because he never thought he'd have a chance with Eames (I will spare you the 5k essay I have to expand on this). It's not that he hides his feelings, but he does what he always does with the weird, chuck them in the compost and hopes for them to degrade.

Thank you for the ask, as always it makes my day!

#arthur x eames #inception #dreamhusbands #more word vomit from me #arthurs love for eames is not biodegradable it cannot be decomposed #silly arthur

[jaguarys]

Sup!

Les Légendaires question. Let me ask you about Les Légendaires.

What is one scene that stuck with you? Like really stuck with you, lying in bed thinking about it, kind of stuck with you.

Mine is the time Danaèl tried to transform Halan into à hellion. It was such à visceral moment for me to read, because he really was going to do it. The gang stopped him, but he would have done it.

What I love about this moment is that Danaèl's fury came from the fact that Halan send his men to their deaths and they actually gone through something that can be considered worse than death. That shows à wedge between Danaèl and the rest of Les Legendaires, because he was a silver falcon. He served a crown. He was once the same as these soldiers, and even now he's still loyal to the king, saving the world is his priority, but he's still loyal.

The fact that he probably sees himself in them, fiercely loyal, devoted and trusting, only to later be betrayed by those who you served (people of Alysia for Danaèl/Halan for the soldiers). Only he can sympathize with them in that moment and the fact that his friends, his family can't hurts. It hurts him so much.

And that's without going into his "Saryn died because of me. She turned into a hellion because of me. I couldn't save her" trauma that doesn't help his situation at all.

So in conclusion: Halan is the character I hate the most. And Danaèl is not well at all.

YES YES YES love. Danaël is absolutely rabid about protecting the people around him, and he's also got some Very Strong Complicated Feelings about the Faucons d'Argent. Even once he leaves them, they've really influenced his mindset and his mentality towards those around him.

And then Saryn just... compounds that. Multiplies it by 10. And don't get me started on his reaction to the Faucons in vol 2. He's the kind of person who's going to hold on by the fingernails to the people around him.

I say Danaël's the best of the group, but that certainly doesn't mean he's perfect. He's a surprisingly ruthless person. He's pragmatic, I think. He's not naïve, even if he might seem it, and he's realistic to the dangers of things (think his plan to kill Shimy when she's Anathos' target).

AS FOR YOUR QUESTION.... that's such a difficult one. I think, ultimately, the volume I've spent the most time awake at night thinking about is Gryf's Origines. In my reread I'll admit that it didn't hit the same as when I was 10, but all the same I'm just. AUGH. He.

But lately... I dunno, vols 13 and 14 have really been Haunting Me. Jadina's replacement, her interlinking with the tree, the others' reactions to her death. The identity issues rising from the fact she’s not Jadina, not truly. Jadina mourning herself. The development of her relationship with Ténébris.

Her conversation with Adeyrid at the end is really interesting to me. Orchidia’s dynamics & the rigidity of being royalty is so fascinating. I really liked Jadina pointing out that Adeyrid was just passing on the same restrictions she’d had to deal with, and how Jadina couldn’t forgive her for that. Just….. her <3

#jadina the woman that you are #i’m posting this on my phone so if anything’s wonky i’m blaming that #type: mail #fandom: les légendaires #jadina les légendaires #les légendaires #danaël les légendaires #type: meta

[arthyritis]

A Wonderful World (Welcome Home/Puppet Friends AU) - Chapter Five

Phoebe sank into her bed with a drowsy sigh. A lot of searching, crying and being cuddled by four little puppets later, she was exhausted.

Pip was nowhere to be found and she was vaguely reminded of the time a couple of kids she'd known from the library had taken one of the puppets home with them for the night and returned him with a tear in his arm. She glanced at Ren, eyes tracing the many stitches on the asleep pig puppet with guilt.

All of the puppets were asleep now. Well, all except for Sweetie, the fox sitting lonesome on the windowsill and staring into the night. The street was quiet but Sweetie was following something, anyway, and Phoebe assumed there was a squirrel or something out there, though she couldn't get up to check herself.

"Scout, retrieve," the human girl whispered to the German Shepherd dog lying at the end of her bed. She pointed to the tiny fox puppet and the dog jumped down, tail wagging happily as he walked over and nudged the puppet playfully before spinning in a circle. Off-duty service dog behaviour. Phoebe giggled.

Sweetie looked down at Scout, then over at Phoebe, quickly accepting the ride to the bed and climbing under the covers next to Phoebe without saying a word.

As long as she was safe there, that's all Phoebe cared about, huffing as Scout jumped back onto the bed and lied down.

She lay there awake for a few more minutes before deciding she needed to do something.

Sweetie had fallen asleep in a flash and once the puppets were asleep for the night, it was near impossible to wake them up, so she sat and scooted to the edge of her mattress, flipping the blanket off of her and pulling her wheelchair a tiny bit closer, just so she could transfer into it to get to her desk.

When she got there, she pulled out some paper from a drawer and a pen from her holder and got to work sketching a picture of Pip, the word 'MISSING' in big, bold letters at the top.

,

Wally had convinced Pip to make a real breakfast, even after it had said the banana was enough.

So now bacon sizzled in the pan, grease popping up every few seconds and scaring Pip every single time. It'd just planned to make a sandwich, but there wasn't much in the way of meat in the house, despite all of the other food that existed, and meat would be more substantial, especially since its hunger seemed unrelenting at the moment. It could hardly focus because of it.

"The neighbours have taken quite a liking to you," Wally said suddenly and Pip jumped as the grease popped at the same time. "News travelled fast once you'd arrived and everyone is thrilled to meet you. The ones who have can't seem to get enough. Heck, I've barely gotten a moment alone with you."

All he could do was shrug noncommittally. "It's been nice hanging out with the others."

Why Wally felt so entitled to a moment alone with it was a mystery.

"I'm sure it has. That's the point. A fresh face." Wally glanced at the table. "Someone new for our neighbours to grow attached to."

"The point--" Pip glared at the yellow puppet with all of the hatred in the world until he looked up at him. "The point of me being here is that?! All of this, for THAT!"

Wally frowned at the loud tone of voice, the first time Pip had seen his seemingly permanent smile drop. It took a lot to get on this puppet's nerves, Pip noted.

"It's the way of Home, Puppet--"

"Stop calling me that," Pip reacted quickly. "Only one puppet calls me that, and it's not you."

"You're angry, so I won't take that personally." The smile had reappeared on Wally's face, and if Pip hadn't had such a visceral reaction, he would've thought he'd imagined it being gone before. "Pip, Home has reasons I will never understand for bringing puppets here. I'm certain there are two neighbours you'll get along with fantastically, if family is so important to you, actually."

For a moment, Pip ignored anything Wally was saying in favour of retrieving his food from the pan. It was a little crispier than he thought he might be able to handle, but he didn't care.

An egg was next into the pan before its attention was back with a sigh.

Two puppets he'd get along with who were just as family oriented as it was? Well, it doubted they had the same type of connection, or that Wally even understood the importance of its family or family in general to even try to compare, but it actually appreciated the effort of thought on this one.

"Barnaby had a mother hen before he arrived here. Whatever happened to her, he doesn't know..." The way Wally said it was off-putting. "And Julie has siblings."

A start. It was a start.

He cracked the egg and then flipped it, once again a little bit burnt, but not anything he couldn't ignore.

Wally kept talking about Barnaby and Julie's families. He seemed to know a fair bit about them and was willing to just let it all out as Pip sat and ate slowly, eyes averted and tracing lines in the oak table.

Then, silence sunk in. Comfortable, at first, until Pip felt Wally's eyes on it. It froze midway through a bite of egg.

Wally was watching it eat in the specific way that it was. Like it was fascinating. He could say the same about Wally's method, but as the attention was on him again, something nagged at him.

He ate the rest of the egg in three bites, then the bacon, then washed the grease off of his plate. "Why'd you come here, Wally?" he asked again, finally.

"Morning check-in," came the quick reply. "I usually do so over the telephone, but your line appears to be... forever preoccupied."

Pip swallowed, facing the sink. He felt like he owed the yellow puppet an explanation now. "The phone is off of the receiver, yeah. I just... need my space, okay? I'll... I'll come around soon." Heavy emphasis on the unspoken, "maybe."

"Speaking with my neighbours to ensure their safety and wellness is just a part of my routine; adding in another neighbour was easy, but adhering to your pleas isn't so. I hope you'll reconsider soon."

Wally's grin stretched to an almost felt-ripping degree, but it was gone within a second, so that one Pip might have actually been imagining.

Pip nodded and upon completing the dishes, just stood at the sink with the water running, listening as it buzzed in his hearing aid strangely,

growing louder and louder,

gradually,

until it stopped.

Yellow felt was in Pip's line of sight as Wally reached in front of it to turn off the tap, smiling stiffly now. "Let's not waste water, neighbour," he said, and then they were saying their goodbyes.

Apparently in its daze, Pip said it would go talk to one of the neighbours who wasn't busy today--that left both Poppy and Frank off his list. Convenient, chimed Pip's cynical thoughts. An offer to see Barnaby with him that Pip declined, before shutting the door on the yellow puppet and taking a deep breath. Alone, at last.

#welcome home fanfic #Puppet Friends #grey does writing

[cannibalismyuri]

van scene dialogue analysis

thinking about the van scene again (what's new?) but this time, one specific part. "it's just that she's (i'm) so different from other people. and when you're different, sometimes, you feel like a mistake. but you make her feel like she's (i'm) not a mistake at all. like she's (i'm) better for being different." now buckle up, because this is gonna get long. the thing is, this veiled confession was veiled. as in disguised. this means that everything it contains is objectively true because there was no need for will to lie. let's get really into it now.

"it's just that she's (i'm) so different from other people." why is he different from other people? there are multiple reasons beside his sexuality actually, one is definitely that he's been exposed to so much and at such a young age that it would've permanently altered his thought process and perception of self and the world to be so traumatized at such a young age. and the worst part is that people won't let him go with that image they've set up for him even if its out of love. he's constantly being reminded of the fact that he's different because of the horrible things he's gone through, that in turn reminding him of the things he's gone through. it's just a vicious cycle. and will's said this before in s2. he's talked about how joyce and other people "babying" him makes him feel like even more of a freak because he can't escape from the constant alienation (again misguided alienation done our of love from joyce) from his peers and family. and maybe trying esp hard to move on or be normal isn't the most healthy response to this but it's healthier than constantly being reminded that there's a rift between him and his peers because of reasons he can't even control.

"and when you're different, sometimes, you feel like a mistake." now this part i believe adds in to his sexuality, because technically the first part of his problems are not because of him. they can be played off as some otherwordly force and destiny, but this most likely won't be will's thought process. but will feels like a mistake. something that went awry in the code. 0s and 1s but he suddenly was a 2. anyway, a mistake is something you make. and i think that's the factor at play here. will feels like a mistake because he wasn't able to shove down the gayness in him. he wasn't able to keep it down until it got squashed deep in his gut and he never thought about it. i think this is why he had such a visceral reaction to "it's not my fault you don't like girls" because he's been trying and trying to not let it show and his best friend saw and knew and alienated him again, but in the bad way, which he never did before. infact he never alienated him like that before either. so it hurts more. so i believe that will was talking about his sexuality in this part (not fully, he still does feel like a mistake bc of ptsd/supernatural elements) but since he believes that he's made himself a mistake by not pushing his sexuality down further, and allowed himself to be different for reasons he feels like he can control (NOT TRUE).

"but you make her feel like she's (i'm) not a mistake at all. like she's (i'm) better for being different." THIS is why will byers will get a happy ending. because mike has consistently been a person that's never babey'd him and alienated him and caused him to hate himself for something he couldn't control. mike has however caused him to hate himself for doing something he believes he can control, and will thinks that if he can't push it down, it might as well come out. and we've been told this by one half of the ship himself that he feels like he doesn't have to push his gayness down (make himself a mistake) around mike (HENCE THE CONFESSION) and he's the one who didn't make him feel alienated for something he couldn't control. also there's the point of him saying "i'm not gonna fall in love" in s3, which was actually that he wouldn't get the chance to fall in love normally. yet another thing that alienates him from the masses. so for his character arc to end satisfyingly, he should be able to NEVER feel like a mistake, or that he's worse for being different and he SHOULD be able to get to experience love like everybody else. his opinions about himself should be disproved! the only conceivable option for his arc to end satisfyingly is byler endgame &lt;3

some inspiration taken from this post by @bylertruther and this post by @folkloresprjng

#will byers #will byers analysis #will byers character study #character study #byler #byler analysis #byler endgame #byler proof #give will byers happiness challenge 2k22 #the van scene #stranger things (sara's version)

[bedlamsbard]

choose violence: 6 + 8

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

*deep sigh* you know, I actually typed Steve/Peggy, and it's true, but the Steggy people at least have the advantage of having it be canon. even if it is not my ship and even if I really disagree with it as a ship (fine in CATFA-CATWS-CACW and even AC! completely messed it up in Endgame! not keen on What If, either!), they do at least have that going for them. for me personally it's the MCU BuckyNat people, because it's straight comics transferal and the ship has no basis in MCU canon, they interact twice when they're both trying to kill each other and in their other shared scenes they always have Steve between them. but they have so much fanmade merch (pins, I'm talking about enamel pins) and people just...take comics BuckyNat and transfer it over to the MCU and it drives me up the wall. like, they're not aggressive about it in the way the Steggy fans are, but it's everywhere if you're in the Black Widow side of the fandom.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

like all of them, I disagree with 99% of people on 99% of things, you're going to have to get more specific here lol. (that's why a lot of my fic is deliberately contra common fanon, but I'm not so aggressive about it that it gets picked up on particularly often.) hmm, what's one I haven't talked about recently or that doesn't really show up in my fic.

oh! Coulson. I don't think this is something that's a major issue these days, mostly because we're well past the Avengers 1 point, but I still see it occasionally in people who never moved past A1 and it was very very common 2012-2014 or so, in that big burst of post-Avengers 1 fic. and that's that the common read on Coulson's behavior towards Steve in that film is that it's -- like, fine? a little dreamy-eyed and hero-worship-y and resulted in the A1 suit, but basically harmless, and Steve is, what, gently amused by it? a little uncomfortable, but again, basically harmless?

if you actually watch the movie Steve spends every single interaction he has with Coulson praying for the sweet release of being attacked by aliens, or perhaps murdered. his reaction to Coulson is so viscerally negative that once Fury sees it, he breaks them up and puts Steve with Natasha for the trip to Stuttgart, and then Steve never interacts with Coulson again. if Steve had reacted more positively to Coulson there's no reason that Coulson couldn't have gone to Stuttgart in Natasha's place; she's not fighting, she's doing hostage negotiation, plus Coulson is the one who has experience with Asgardians in the first place. it makes more sense for Coulson to be there than it does for Natasha to be -- except that Steve is reacting much more positively to Natasha than he is to Coulson, and Fury's smart enough to see that if he keeps trying to make Steve work with Coulson it's going to end badly.

#nerteragranadensis #bedlam replies #bedlam watches the mcu

[applesfallingfromblondehair]

i have so much to talk about with the new chapter but honestly i’m kinda heartbroken, i was in absolute bits by the end.

firstly, just know i’m questioning my choice on moving to team george now, like it would be so nice to see them get back together but at the same time i just want the best for ross and i don’t want him to get hurt, though it’s probably inevitable☹️

ross playing football with his brother and nephew was so sweet and matty later realising what he might have if he stays with ross at the table was just🥹

oh my god, i had such a visceral reaction to the george’s instagram post about the remix and matty’s reaction to it but then george not knowing the remix was released was such a shock, i literally had to put my phone down, walk away and take a minute to calm down.

“And again, Ross doesn’t ask. Ross just nods, kisses his temple, and whispers, “Alright.” - sobbed btw that actually broke me a bit

and i know i say it after every chapter but i am so nervous for what might happen next week now😬

Oh don't I love this. Last week I was watching the poll rubbing my hands together thinking "look at all these people jumping ship, if only they knew"... because I am essentially a bit of a dick, and because I do seem to have a flair for the dramatic. My deepest apologies. But I was expecting this. I am really excited to see where the poll takes us, this week.

I'm glad you singled out the Ross And Family moment because it was one of the hardest to figure out but one of the easiest to write. Ross is a family man and Matty is definitely welcome into that family whenever he decides to accept that people aren't out to get him, and sometimes people just love unconditionally. Ross is one of those people.

A big HELL YEAH to the IG post reaction. It was a hard one to get right because I had talked about this being a part of the story and I wanted it to be momentous and not anticlimactic and I felt like it was never enough, but I'm so happy it seems to have gone down well. I know I like keeping things ambiguous here and it might be frustrating at times, but let me ask you this:

do you think that George was really unaware that the remix was dropping, or is he just playing dumb to save face?

I'm half sorry, half glad I have you on tenterhooks every week. It genuinely keeps me motivated! ❤️

Thank you so so much for the kind words and the extensive commentary ❤️

#answered #writing #chapter 20

[parkquimin]

TF141 + Valeria and their relationship with kpop

Valeria:

Not a big fan but is smart enough to know that there's a shit ton of money in kpop.

She probably buys up like all the tickets ever for concerts and then charges 10x the original price. The original scalper.

I think if there's a group she likes, she'll save the best tickets for herself.

Also she definitely buys up all the merch and sells them at extremely high rates too.

I think she also uses them as bargaining chips. Like if she's talking to an important business person or whatever she's like "oh I heard your kid likes (insert group), I happen to have tickets to them I could give you a good discount on them"

She probably posted something negative about a big group just to stir up drama and quickly learned to never do that again because her location got leaked LMAOOO

She probably thought about hiring some of the stans because how tf did they even find her???

Gaz:

Idk why but I feel like he's an ultimate stan.

Knows some of the dances, but isn't super dedicated to learning them

He definitely has photocards, lightsticks, albums, etc.

Had a VISCERAL reaction when he was called in on an emergency during KCON and he had to sell his prized P1 ticket.

WHEN he's off duty OMGGG.

This man has like 4 different devices set up ready to get tickets (he's fighting Valeria for them).

If he's on base or on a mission and the time is right, he'll make the rest of the team open the ticket portals so he can have a higher chance at getting tickets.

Cried when he didn't get Stray Kids tickets and then screamed when they released more dates in his area.

Cries for like half of the concerts he attends and his voice is unusable the next day

Price:

I feel like he's not into it and MAYBE he knows like "Red" by Hyuna cause Gaz played it once and liked it.

MAYBE does a little research just to know what Gaz and Soap are screaming and giggling about

He hit Gaz with "I heard one of those kpop people you like on the radio" and Gaz just stared.

I feel like he set one foot into a kpop store because he got Gaz for secret santa and he grabbed the first thing he saw, paid, and never looked back (Gaz appreciated the effort)

Mixes up different groups' names (not even on purpose he just can't remember all of that info)

"Why are there so many people in NCT"

"Why are they called "Seventeen" if there are only 13 people in it"

Ghost:

I feel like he's heard it in passing, but doesn't really listen to it.

Maybe there's a couple songs where he bops his head to the beat but then nothing further than that.

Probably gives Soap and Gaz concerned looks when he catches them in a corner giggling over a piece of paper smaller than his hand.

I feel like he's been to ONE concert because he lost a bet to Soap. Soap would've gone, but it was a group he didn't know and he thought it would be funnier if Ghost accompanied Gaz. Ghost agreed mainly because he'd get to spend time with Gaz (he loves his teammates)

He watched all of the fans scream and cry and was lowkey scared

Soap:

He is more invested but not as dedicated as Gaz.

He probably learned a couple dances with Gaz and likes the more popular groups like Twice and EXO.

Would go to KCON if there were enough groups that he liked and just to bond with Gaz.

Gaz lends Soap his albums because he "needs to learn to appreciate art more"

Soap ends up getting a couple of albums of his own, and I KNOW him and Gaz trade photocards and do reveals for each other

Watches with concern as Gaz screeches at his computers when it's time to buy tickets.

Doesn't freak out when he sees other people with kpop merch in public, but he'll give them like a side eye LMAOOO

----------

I'm ngl I've never played COD and I recently just started getting into the characters, so please lmk if you think I've mischaracterized anyone in this post! I'm happy to make edits and do more research but I just though this would be a fun thing to write :). Also thank you so much for viewing my work, it means so much to me as a beginner writer <3

#tf 141 #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #valeria cod #john soap mactavish #john price

[liauditore]

number 1: when/how did you get into hc?

number 19: favorite design?

and number 23: first impression of a hermit and how it did or didn’t change

1 - when and how did you get into hermitcraft?

I'm actually a pretty recent fan. I got recommended Lizzie's Last Life POV in April I think? It was completely random and I wasn't into MCYT at all but I remembered watching Lizzie as a kid and it was like 3am and I couldn't sleep so I was like why not and then my life literally changed forever.

I had to, completely unhinged, BEG my friends to watch this stupid ldshadowlady series that had the best storytelling I'd seen in anything ever with me. @kanohirren recognised Bdubs and Etho's names and we got curious so we watched their POVs as well. Cue "he loves me" and now neither of us are the same.

We ended up also watching 3L and DL and LimL when that came out and needed extra dosages to keep us going so we ended up watching Etho's Hermitcraft 7 (Shad-e-e's!) and various Hermitcraft 9 videos (mainly Pearl, Scar and Ren). I've watched a little bit of season 8 as well so I know about the whole moon big thing.

So yeah this is cursed but hermitcraft is basically my "they're all alive and well and happy and not dead" copium fanfic for the life series.

Sidenote he's not a hermit but I listened to screw the nether maybe too many times as a kid and lost it a bit when i realised it was the same martyn.

19 - favourite hermit design? (whether yours or someone else’s)

OUHGHKLGLHKKLHHKFHL THERES SO MANY GOOD ONES NOOOOOOOOOOO.,

ummm uh just to machine gun fire a few there's luminousslime's buttercups, applestruda's gem and doc (and basically everyone else), hybbart's tango, jay's gem has won my heart, lunarcrown's hels!bdubs and hels!etho are maybe cheating but i care them and so has basically any interpretation of bdubs as a small (evil?) creature. First example that popped up in my mind was kanohi's accursed gremlin.

In terms of my own designs my style's gone through a bit of a shift recently so I've actually been meaning to redraw everything 😭😭but from what I've done so far I do really like my Pearl and Bdubs.

23 - what was your original opinion on hermitcraft/a hermit? did it change?

For MCYT as a whole tbh I used to be kind of a hater 😭😭 as someone who only really watched the occasional captainsparklez ig i didn't really "get" roleplay and all the fanart and stuff that was everywhere when DSMP was popular. +the whole character vs CC stuff.

((note here I don't actively dislike DSMP because I never got into it and wouldn't know I just choose not to interact with it out of my own reasons. I don't mind talking abt it or seeing it and so on))

I always knew hermitcraft existed but again I wasn't really into MCYT as a whole so I didn't think it would really be my thing ig?

And now look at me 😔😔

for individual hermits I had a very visceral reaction the first time I saw bdubs' skin like EW EUGH WHAT IS., THAT. and now i think he's the cutest ever.

#asks #hermitblr

[caitlynxviolet]

How do you think Vi would have reacted / would have done if Jinx had killed Caitlyn during that "diner party" ?

After her fight with Sevika, Vi is on the brink of a mental breakdown. She has exhausted pretty much all abilities to suppress her emotions and it's evidenced by the visceral scream she cries out. A girl can only be fueled by sheer adrenaline and willpower for a while until everything catches up to her and she's forced to face the emotional changes in her life.

I've said it before, so I won't mince my words, but what Jinx did here was evil. It was psychological torture.

As funny as her line "sheesh! I'm not that crazy" is (I mean, I laughed the first time and I still laugh at her delivery), it's utterly fucked up. She made her sister think that she would sadistically kill her girlfriend. I guess Vi's lucky her sister views Caitlyn as her girlfriend, because I don't think she would have been as sympathetic towards an enforcer friend of hers.

Thinking about Vi's reaction to seeing Caitlyn's decapitated head on the platter could legitimately make me cry. There would have been no coming back from it. I think Vi's already gonna have a hard time looking past the bombing of the Council incident, so I truly don't think she would have been able to ever see Jinx the same way after something as messed up as beheading Vi's girlfriend and presenting it to her as some sort of twisted trophy.

Her reaction would have been hysterical (not the funny kind). I'm not even kidding. She would have had to comprehend the declining mental state of her sister, grappling with the loss of Caitlyn while simultaneously watching her lifeless eyes staring at her, being physically restrained, and facing fucking Silco at the other end of that table.

This was Vi barely recovering from everything Jinx set up, still worried she's going to hurt Caitlyn, hence the glance towards Caitlyn laying on the ground.

Merely seconds later, Vi is crying at the realization that her sister is launching a rocket at the Council, killing the same people Vi stood in front of not even 24 hours prior. This was Vi realizing her sister was, perhaps, too far gone. Even though Vi lashed out at the Council members, she never would have done something like this.

Imagine this type of reaction, but cranked up to 100 with 10x more pain at the sight of what could have been under the cover of that stupid platter. This is what I have in mind when I think about it :')

#vi would have experienced insanity #maybe even psychosis #like she was barely stable here #she somehow managed to convince two unhinged people not to hurt each other while being fully powerless #and she's so fucking strong for it but im expecting a breakdown #keep the questions coming!!! im going crazyyy #can you tell ive discovered how to properly add gifs lol #spoilers #ramblings #anon

[thesweetestspot]

I know we'd all love to know you're thoughts on the blind dates for Valentine's Day - think anyone hit it off?

ah yes, mabels matchmaking madness. i knew this was going to be a shit storm because not only was it being run by one of the pines twins but... it's evermore. what was anyone expecting?

knowing how the wolves in this pack run, i seriously doubt anything will come from any of these dates besides maybe a hot fling, but i'll mention a few pairings i had the most visceral reactions to.

speaking of a pines twins, mabel pines and luis salgado getting paired up actually made me audibly cackle. you're gonna put the two ends of the good and evil spectrum on a date? with each other? i don't know which of the two i was more worried for.

carmen dicarmello and andy davis. i'm sure swizz was absolutely pissing his pants seeing this match up, because if these two don't end up together... i've never seen a more fitting match before in my lifetime.

meri webster and vitani kagai. god this is one sexy pairing that i would have given up an organ to be a part of. there are few women in evermore that i speak highly of, and they're sitting across from each other? lord have fucking mercy, i hope they went home together.

benjee bong and barley lightfoot. come ON; this is the most wholesome, nauseatingly adorable pairing on that entire list. i actually think i got cavities just imagining how that date must have gone. christ, i've gotten soft.

just a few surface level thoughts, but if there's any specific pairing you want me to dive deeper into.... you know where to find me.

@ladymabeltcn @faiirytalcs @caramelxcarmen @xndxd @lioncssv @dmlightfoot @bingbcng

#& mabel #& luis #& carmen #& andy #& vitani #& barley #& benjee #& meri

[controlledchaosetc]

Watching First Kill w/ my partner

We're at Episode 5 rn and tl;dr off the bat, we're enjoying it for all the wrong reasons. Here's some notes, thoughts, and other things we did while watching

EP. 1:

The Zombie Song plays in the intro and my partner has an IMMEDIATE VISCERAL reaction like a flashbang has just gone off and doesn't recover until the first episode ended

16 FUCKING SONGS IN ONE 40 MINUTE EPISODE

Sound mixing is Not Good, whoever did audio mixing dropped the ball so hard

Invest more in your production and editing than in your licensing budget LMAO

Ben is the best character so far, the balls it takes to A. go get your man and B. turn that bottle right at Cal

Elinor is also great I love this evil bitch

EP. 2-4:

Thankfully episode 1 was the worst one

LESS SONGS THIS TIME POG

Please play more than the same Subnautica Lost River theme song over and over again though pls

Editing is ATROCIOUS, the ordering of scenes is just WRONG sometimes, this is a masterclass in truly terrible editing

This show gets better as it goes on bc the side characters get so much more enjoyable

Cal and Juliette's whole THING just isn't working right now, they act the same in almost every scene and other than dry humping in the woods, the chemistry just isn't really there

HOWEVER

I want Cal's mom and Juliette's mom to make out more than I want Cal and Juliette, these women can GET IT

The only thing that changes that is Margot and Sebastian are actually adorable and I love this straight romance more than the gay one the show's about which NEVER happens

Margot is the best character hands down and has the only genuinely REALLY good scene in the show telling Juliette it's ok that she didn't kill (which was actually surprising and nice to see) and talking about how her family hates her for doing what she wanted, not what was expected of her

Elinor and Oliver are duking it out for who can chew the scene more and I'm living for it, definitely tied for 2nd fav

Evil grandma lets go

Apollo and Theseus suck their dick measuring contest is a snooze fest and their characters flip back and forth between respecting and hating each other faster than I can skip through their scenes LMAO

In total, we count 6 cringes, but the total is 5 to subtract the one really good scene with Margot

BONUS ROUND: BETS

We made bets with each other before starting 2-4 and here's the results of them

VIC BETS (my bets for them that they'll viscerally react to)

the zombie song will play again and flashbang them yet again Was IMMEDIATELY proven correct and happened for every episode

a song from 2008 not yet but hopefully

late 2000s reference unfortunately no but I want it

bad audio this was a given lmao

(their bets for them)

anime reference no but there's still hope

teen wolf reference this whole show feels a bit but no direct reference yet

the song flesh by simon curtis will play ODDLY specific but no

tumblr joke please give this to me show

Bets for Me!

witch (good) it was and she's hot and that ring was metal as fuck

world building bad (annoyed) surprisingly not too annoyed

editing bad (screaming) oh I had a whole rant

hunters are used badly other than theo and apollo not too bad, but the fact they're less functional than the vampire family is great

#first kill #this show's terrible but great #i want margot to turn me and then actually take care of me #elinor is physical manifestation of gaslight gatekeep girlboss #oliver could kill my parents and taunt me for it and id let him #pls get better editors for this show though holy shit

[secondfuckingguessing]

Not April's fool

I feel like so much has changed recently. I feel so different. It's easier to let go. Easier to choose what to focus on. Now the halo effect of last week's concert is gone, but I still feel fine. Not all is lost. Not everyone turned into a drag. Not every friend turned out weird. I had to give up everyone I felt was part of my identity. And yes, I was fun. I wasn't always hurt or had to be judgemental. I have it in me.

Things that used to consume all my thoughts and provoke visceral reactions don't hold as much power over me now. I know better than to let myself go without trying to stop it. It never led me anywhere good anyway. I lost some weight. I'm more accepting of my reality, my flaws and my mistakes. They happened. I've dealt with people who hurt me and that impacted my life a lot over the last decade. Yes. That also made me grow a lot and I'm finally reaching a point where the growth is greater than the resentment. I don't miss those people anymore. I let go of ana quite peacefully, my last strand of thinking i couldn't afford to lose the few friends I had (even though I didn't even identify with them that much anymore). Quite honestly, it didn't change much in my life. It turns out I was putting in all the effort once more. She might not be doing it on purpose,but still. It has been going on for far too long. I was completely shut off from her life. It's quite clear now she's on her trip I knew nothing about. I was silly to think it was my duty to keep the whole thing going while she healed or whatever. She's doing that through other people. I was feeling let down much more often than happy about the relationship. I felt sensitive and judgy and I honestly thought there's something wrong with me. I can't like my friends. I can't accept the way real relationships work. I'm delusional and I should care less. Maybe I'm finally learning what reciprocity means. Bia showed me that. Even though we hadn't seen each other in probably 10 years, it felt more natural than with people I thought I was close with. Am I resenting ana right now? No. But I don't exactly miss her right now either. Our good times, of genuine fun have not been recent. It was becoming this heavy weird friendship with lots of things unsaid and a lack of will to really show up to the friendship. Getting older sucks when you groe in different directions. At least I am growing, i can't say what she's interested in besides pokemon. She seems a bit too passive for my liking.

I'm letting go even of the illusion of f. I'd like to have what we had. I feel more openness in me to live that, but it's not about him. He never made me feel special. He never seemed too committed. He was just going with the flow. I know i have so much to give to someone who shows he really wants to be there, here with me. I just never felt that from him. I'm starting to think he's with someone new. I'm not sure why. If that's the case, I know I'm never seeing him again. He won't make the slightest effort to and it's not like he was even before. I'm not sure I care anymore. I truly feel I deserve better. It's his loss, honestly. I'm not that invested into chasing him just to make things right inside. If he's that big of a loser, I'll let him be.

Also, giovana. I'm not that pisssed, I'm not that hurt. She is kinda phony. She's kind of too invested in her own image, her persona. That's kinda lame, doesn't matter how many international travels she does a year. That's lack of character. Even when she thinks she's saying the right things, it feels empty. She's pretending to be this, but really she's investing in what she feels brings her more value. It's transactional in the end. I don't admire this kind of behavior, she can go fuck herself. It's good to see I'm not that hurt anymore. It's not about me being rejected anymore. These people around me really are more than what i thought previously. I don't exactly like this other side of them. Genuinely. I wouldn't choose them based on that. Julia feels childish in a way. She's deluded by parties and going after what she wants like the world is opening up to her more than 10 years later. Even after I talked to her she refuses to see anyone else than her. Funny that the only person she gave herself to was her ex, and it wasn't a great dynamic either. I wish her luck on her maturing.

I feel less lonely, even though not much has changed. I feel kike bia is someone I could on if I needed. Not exactly a shoulder to cry on, but on practical things. Like if i needed company to get a dress. I don't know why that's the thought that popped into my head. I don't want to be this heavy person always hurt and complaining. I can deal with my own sorrows. I do feel different and I hope it stays and expands and turns into something even greater and more beautiful. I feel less insecure. I feel better. Healing rocks and I'm glad to know there are good people still around, even for me.

I hope this leads me great places and that I bump into good people.

[raised-by-w0lves]

car seat headrest guy #2

it's funny that i've gone out with two guys who responded to the car seat headrest prompt (the only two).

remember when i said physical attraction is the most important thing to me right now? well this is where i start to feel bad because this guy was a good conversationalist, interesting (studying communications and journalism, worldly and cosmopolitan unlike my software engineering ass), and intentional (asked me what my dating goals were pretty much right off the bat. although maybe this kind of killed the conversation too because I DON'T KNOW).

the thing is he's 5'4. not unattractive but i didn't feel i could enjoy being physically intimate with him. this is a problem i've had so much in the past where i kept dating people i wasn't physically attracted to (starting with *******) and i would get so actually NAUSEATED when they tried to hold my hand or kiss me, like my body would just have a visceral reaction against it. (it was so bad that i questioned if i was gay for a while. but i don't think i am. i just really really need a physical attraction to be present in a relationship.)

the thing is, i would keep dating these people i wasn't physically attracted to to see if that attraction would grow. because i think that has happened to me with friends where i wouldn't smash in a smash or pass but i grew attracted to them because of their personalities. but i don't think that works in a dating setting where you're having sex on the third-ish date; there's just not enough time for that kind of personality-based attraction to grow.

so i'm determined to give everyone one date, and if there's no physical attraction, end things. that's what i did with car seat headrest guy #2 today. at the end of the date (i drove him), he asked if he could see me again. and honestly i really liked talking to him, but because of the physical attraction thing, i was honest and told him that we could be friends but nothing more.

i don't know if i'll be in my 40s regretting that i went for looks. i feel so materialistic and shallow just saying this. but also i know that i could NEVER let someone i'm not attracted to touch me again (even that time i was drunk out of my mind alone in a portland nightclub and that guy was making out with me. i felt like things were being done *to* me. he was making out with me. i was reacting in the way my brain told me was appropriate but feeling nothing but disgust).

and if i end up alone, maybe that's better than being a glorified sex doll.

#a-loving-feeling

[yourstormthlaylirahh]

Hmm thinking about the discussion around how having queer content with bad endings as the only queer content is harmful to queers, and it reminded me

My first encounter with autism (beyond a word you occasionally hear) was as a young teen (I know, I was sheltered) in the Gone series by Michael Grant. Little Pete is autistic and the part I remember most strongly from the book is the description of him as 'unloving.' It stuck in my mind so strongly I remembered down to the specific word over a decade later (I double checked I had it right). His characterization is very... odd, and his autistic symptoms, while not impossible (you've met one autistic person you've met one autistic person, there is lots of variance) are definitely unusual. The most common descriptors of him are indifferent and unresponsive, in the middle of an everchanging and fucked up environment. And beyond that, every description of what it's like for him to be alive is that his existence is hell. Again, I'm not saying it can't be hell for some people, or that it doesn't provide unique traumas or difficulties, but the extent to which this series hammers that idea home went straight into my brain: autistics were pitiable, unloving, and utterly terrifying people.

Long story short, I linked up 'autism' and 'unloving' super strongly and when at 18, years later, a friend suggested I was on the spectrum I had a major visceral reaction to the concept. I was incredibly insulted. There is onus on me for sure for never searching out other info on autism, but I've never forgiven Michael Grant for this first introduction. Not to mention Little Pete dies and his death is presented as a positive thing to free him from the horror of autism

I wish I had been exposed to other children's series with autistic characters presented in a positive or even neutral way, I think it would have made me open to getting a diagnosis (which has had nothing but a positive impact on my life) much sooner. I do take full responsibility for the ableism I unthinkingly absorbed. I also with I had never read such a harmful characterization, and had been exposed instead to positive representations of autism.

#tw ableism #im just rambling and thinking dont mind me #journal