#i have no life outside of fandoms

[always-a-joyful-note]

Enstars sure is an experience. Did I miss anything?

#are you guys all okay? i definitely am not okay #this is not the type of media that i usually go for yet it is EXACTLY the type of media that i would like #so many gaps so many stories WAY TOO MUCH READING I DONT HAVE THE TIME #i know i missed a lot because ive only watched the anime and read the main music story up to ch 4 of the second part #and i have read some events stories that were free #and maybe one or two outside from translations #but like thats it #this is like reading orv and getting hit with its deep metas on human life and the importance of stories #but instead im being clobbered by the most deranged storylines known to man (and again. i read ORV and am a bsd fan) #this isnt fantasy but there is nothing realistic about enstars and i unfortunately am attached #every day i spiral into east asian media that gives me an aneurysm #bsd -> orv -> link click -> enstars....i wanna say they keep getting more unhinged but theyre all unhinged in different ways #anyway please help me.... #enstars #ensemble stars #fandom spamdom #stuff i say #i will admit i am mostly into the game for the stories #a consistent gamer i am not #but to unlock the stories ill push back the animes i have to catch up on etc etc #again. please help me.... #edit: updated to remove queerbaiting because apparently i dont know whats going on

[mxtxfanatic]

Fandom Gripe #23: I know that fandom is in some deep denial about its treatment of female characters that are canonically involved with fan favorite m/m ships, but do y’all realize that when you disappear female characters from the narrative wholesale to push the idea that your canonically straight fav was “secretly gay all along!” you’re making several bad implications? That 1) bi men don’t exist, 2) bi men do exist, but those who have genuinely loved a woman before cannot genuinely love a man after that (therefore bi men don’t exist in practice), 3) women cannot inspire genuine love and devotion in men, therefore any relationship with a woman is “lesser” than the one they later have a man (see previous parenthesis), or 4) to acknowledge the existence of a lovable woman who isn’t a terrible person, where if a relationship previously existed, it did not end because of “incompatibility,” is enough to destabilize the present relationship between two queer men?

Because why is the tgcf fandom allergic to acknowledging that He Xuan had a whole ass fiancée that he loved? Why does no one ever seem to remember that the kidnappings and murders of He Xuan’s sister and fiancée were the final straws that sent him on his rampage, and he still keeps a shrine to them in the present-day of the story? Why is her entire existence and significance to He Xuan as a man, character, and to his character arc disappeared in favor of pushing Shi Qingxuan—the brother of the man responsible for his fiancée’s death—into that same role, as if to say that her impact on He Xuan is significant... just not when it's from her? Why does He Xuan’s life in fandom essentially begin not just after her death but because of it?

#tgcf #human gripes at fandom #anyways these are rhetorical questions because I already know the answer #i just absolutely hate it #why do y’all hate female characters so badly 😭 #especially when they ‘get in the way’ of m/m ships? #mxtx shows that woman more respect in the book than fandom does outside of it #and she didn’t even give that character a name! #simply embarrassing #i could have also talked about jgy here #but let’s be real: that man never loved qin su (or anyone) #so i did not want to include him when discussing people who are *actually* capable of unconditionally loving others #but anyways #mdzs fandom sure loves to either disappear qin su #or act as if she’s the one responsible for why their precious ‘meng yao’ can’t just hop into bed with his bros #you know? the one he killed and the one he used as an accomplice in his murder? those bros? that he so obviously loved with sincerity? #at least moreso than he could ever love a *woman* amiright? #(for legal purposes that last tag was a joke) #i also really hate the implication that he xuan had no life before shi wudu ruined it #that in fact shi wudu made his life 'better' by tying him to shi qingxuan #the romanticization of shi wudu's actions to make way for a ship is... a Choice

[littlespidermonkey]

I think in the universe where the Cullens aren't in Forks, Bella Swan takes a while to come out of her shell, but when she does, she's witty and passionate and smart as a whip, even if she's still quiet and reserved. She sits with Jessica Stanley, who demands the best of everyone, and tells her friends about her boyfriend down on the rez, who is sweet and caring and funny and good with his hands, who works for everything he's ever had.

After class, during a sleepover, Bella whispers to tell Angie and Jess about the night after prom, even though her father, loving and careless, worries about her only a normal amount and loves Jacob Black like his own. When she gets into Dartmouth--all by herself, through study sessions in garages and with Jessica and in Angela's house--she chooses to go to Stanford instead. She misses the heat and light on her skin, even after falling in love with the rain. Jessica comes with her; Angela and Eric go to U of Washington in Seattle instead, for education and journalism respectively.

Bella makes sure to call every week and then one day she drives down to Seattle and her boyfriend, warm like the sun she loves and at least twice as reliable, becomes her fiancé. The ring isn't especially big or ornate or pricey, but the way she smiles could trick anyone into thinking that it was. All of her friends, new and old, are waiting at the small party afterwards, and Bella laughs the entire time. The engagement cake--chocolate, her favourite--is sweet and moist against her tongue.

She moves back to Forks once she gets her masters in information sciences and becomes the town's librarian. She gets married a month before the move, barefoot in the surf and her old prom dress, both her parents weeping with joy and Billy Black beaming damn near as bright as his son, Sue Clearwater holding his hand.

She raises her kids --both beautiful children, blessed with Jake's thick, long hair--with Angela and Eric's and takes them down to Los Angeles to visit their auntie Jess and her husband Quil, who lavishes them with gifts from her career as a top surgeon. She jokes about having to support Quil's career as an environmental lawyer and displays each and every one of his wins alongside her diplomas. When William Black II decides he wants to be a doctor too, she writes him a shining letter of recommendation to her alma mater. Sarah, who has always been the spitting image of her father, joins and eventually takes over Jacob's mechanic shop.

On occasion, Bella fights with Jacob, even though he's the love of her life. Despite this, she is never afraid of him, and he never stops her from doing what she wants. Instead, he goes out and works on his cars and comes back in an hour later with slightly greasy hands and a bouquet of flowers from Emily Young's little garden, planted to celebrate her cousin Leah Uley's wedding. Bella makes him muffins, recipe courtesy of Sue and missing bites courtesy of Seth, Colin, Sarah, Will, and Claire, with raspberries, not blueberries, just how Jake likes them. They make up, and they make changes, and they go on.

Eventually, both slower and quicker than she realizes, Bella gets old. She lives in fear of losing herself, of losing her husband and her children, like her grandmother had. But she remembers her grandkids to the very end, even gets to meet her first great-grandchild a week before it happens. Her heart gives out before her brain does, too weak and too slow.

It was too full of love, the letter from Jacob says. Sarah reads it. Her father passed a day after his wife--simply too heartbroken to live without her. Much of the town of Forks and hordes of family attend their funeral, remembering a life well lived.

It is an unremarkable life, in the grand scheme of things. She does not live to be a thousand; she is no great beast, with speed like the wind and strength; she does not discover her powers or lead a great defiance. Bella Black, happy and human and surrounded by love, could never imagine wanting anything else.

#lee's wild scribbles #team jacob #twilight saga #jacob x bella #swanblack #tw: food #OK! that's all the tags for searching so now it's time for the really important tags: me rambling #this was extremely stream of consciousness pls be nice #it was also supposed to come with a lil video like my other little ficlet for this fandom but tumblr wasn't feeling it #also i have not edited this and i'm not going to so if you see a typo you keep that shit to yourself #this was written kind of as a reflection on how bella lowkey chooses to sacrifice so much of what makes life good to me in favour of edward #and how she like. gives up her personhood and future to be his and has no friends outside of the cullens and jake #(who is essentially being held hostage by reenactment) #twilight has such a weird relationship with f3minism. i should write about that at some point #(also this is not tikt0k. i censor words so that they don't turn up in tags bc i doubt ppl in the f3minism tag are looking for twilight fic

[swordswaltz]

i loveeeee interacting with fandoms but only in the way that i want to. "i hate this ship they're so oversaturated" i only see them when i want to! "have you heard about the discourse around this plot point" no! and i will not! "oh my god this big account just got called out" okay! don't care!

#soukoku has been saved for me by ignoring how popular it is and ignoring the equal amount of people who hate it because its popular #i have friends and hobbies and things i can do outside of read 16 year olds argue about gillion tidestrider #and i have never cared about a 'big fandom account' in my life. at all #but seriously so many people hate skk bc its popular. yes i'd like to see content other than them on the main tag but it's not a big deal #i can fuckin. search up the tag for higuchi or kunikida or ango whenever i want. and see other things. heart emoji

[presiding]

How you'd rewrite Dishonored death of the outsider if it was fully fledged game with 10 missions? (like Dishonored or Dishonored 2)

Oooh!! Enrichment in my enclosure - thank you for asking! Thinking about a total rewrite was a great exercise. Fair disclaimer: I haven’t read the books & their canon-status can’t hurt me. To me, the Dishonored games stand out due to their immsim design philosophy, and thinking about some of the industry reasons for DotO’s departure from that, if I could make a standalone game with ~ten levels I would, but with the same budget I’d also happily make two DLCs made slowly over a longer timeframe with greater attention to detail.

Game structure

Finding Daud // Billie’s past

The fate of the Outsider // Billie’s future

Game story

Setting & Characters

Billie: What has Billie been doing since she’s returned to Serkonos? Knowing the Dreadful Wale will sink, she’s sold it for scrap & has set up an agency in Lower Aventa. She’s something of a detective/odd-jobs man (& assassin when it suits her). Business is booming, life is good. I think a long-running implication that she's becoming Daud in some ways would make for an interesting subplot.

Karnaca: a city that unfolds. In the first levels, Billie feels like a forgotten woman, a ghost slipped through the cracks, but as levels progress there are hints & references to how her past actions have affected others & shaped the city

Alignments: Witches, gangs, religion, industry; missions for clients who can’t necessarily pay their way. Missions that allow the player to explore/understand Karnaca in a deeper way.

Daud: Billie is unsure if Daud again will bring her any closure. She’s been thinking of him since her time with Emily, and his name keeps popping up.

Deirdre: the charm is a more functional heart, similar to Jessamine, as well as her own character design. Perhaps she doesn’t see Deirdre until she chooses the powers, or until she’s in the void (see next point)

First arc: Finding Daud // Billie’s past

Powers: the Outsider offers Billie powers even though her life is finally, actually good, so she’s pissed off. A choice - she can take them, or play no powers mode.

Breanna Ashworth is this arc’s villain - she wants Delilah back, and knows that Daud has banished her before, wants to know how he did it. Grief & desperation has changed her, and she no longer has her high society veneer. The remnants of the Karnaca coven, now powerless, have stolen from the Overseers to arm themselves to the teeth, and to neutralise Daud’s powers, in addition to black bonecharms.

Billie’s in a race against time against Breanna to find Daud, but by the last level it becomes clear that Breanna *has* found Daud, and has been torturing him for information about the void. Her dynamic with Billie is complicated by their past.

I think betrayal would be an interesting theme, so maybe one of the levels gives you the option to ally yourself with Breanna under false pretences.

Second arc: choosing the fate of the Outsider // Billie’s future

Delilah is the core villain, but she’s obsessed with killing the Outsider so she can take his place, having been violently ripped from her perfect world in her own painting by Breanna (who meant well), & knowing the Empire doesn’t hold her interest... but a perfectly mouldable void & infinite power does take her fancy.

As remorseful Daud is obsessing about preventing Delilah from taking power, Billie’s doing some detective work and learns more about the Outsider (he’s not showing up and monologuing - she’s finding this out herself. A level idea could be a raid on a ‘haunted’ houses where the void is thin)

Delilah succeeds in taking the Outsider's place, leaving the Outsider dead or mortal depending on if you are able to save him. Delilah has split her soul from herself before and she’s very much clever enough to learn the Outsider’s name to render him mortal.

Daud knows he’s dying, though, and it might be an ultimate sacrifice to save both Billie’s life, and the Outsider’s.

So during the final battle, there’s an option to make Daud the Outsider, because Daud wants Billie and the Outsider to have a shot at a normal life, and his life was forfeit in his own mind…

… or, reluctantly accepting the Outsider’s help, Billie finds a way to cut the void’s access to the world, rendering Delilah an all powerful god over a dead & silent world.

Because of the past/present focus of this you could even have levels set in the past - missions with Billie & Daud. Perhaps Billie as POV character, and Daud dropping by the way that Billie did in Knife of Dunwall. That’d be neat.

A heap of ideas here, hope there was something you liked :)

#dishonored #death of the outsider #daud #delilah copperspoon #billie lurk #the outsider #i dont know why you asked me this but i love that you did. thank you anon! #i wanted to stick to the topline ideas rather than dig into what the levels could look like #and you'll notice i mostly avoided the things introduced in doto. ie plot points & new characters #because none of them really pass the fandom test to me. i just dont see anyone obsessed with things from that game #and i could write an entire separate essay about cults in videogames & morality #i want billie's choices & life to have felt like it has meaning and made a difference #and i wanted the game to feel like it was more about billie even if its also about power & the fate of the world #and though i dont love where they went with the outsider & daud in the game. i do love having really high stakes

[thefanciestborrower]

Man,,,I’m so tired

#there’s always something going on somewhere in this community that I need to care about #Some problematic person or friend groups who hate each other #Characters you’re allowed or not allowed to draw #You have to like vore one of two hyper specific ways and if you go outside of that then YOU’RE the problematic one #Each part of the community keeps splitting off smaller and smaller and they all hate each other it feels like #Main fandoms hate you for existing and OCs get headcannoned beyond recognition #Idk how to tag this I’m just having a moment #I don’t even want to be in the ‘vore community’ I just want to post stuff #And not fear for my life if I post something slightly out of the norm #Like I like fatal and reformation and I like slightly spicier stuff between couples and I like familial and teens being goofy and #It just feels impossible to exist like that idk #Might delete later tbh #I’m just tired of all the rules and the feuds and the fighting #vent post

[cyberdragoninfinity]

a bit disheartening every time i come across a yugioh character where im like "wtf this guy is great why have i literally never seen fanart of them before/only seen them in like maybe two pieces of fanworks total" and then i realize it's because they're fat/theyre visibly muscular/they have a slightly wide body type/theyre over the age of 30/theyre um. not pale/theyre some combination of the aforementioned categories. 😐 cool.

#like this is a fandom issue in general i imagine #but good god sometimes ygo fanspaces are fixated solely on Skinny Pale Characters like its their fucking job #a ygo character has visible arm muscles and i have to fight for my life to see art of them with their actual body type #(i see it more in the spinoffs?!?!? but then again sometimes people in DM spaces are racist and ageist in other new colorful ways :|) #anyway this post is about several guys but rn especially GONG MY FRIEND GONG!!!! WHY HAVE I NEVER SEEN ART OF HIM OUTSIDE OF DL #ygo posting #also hey if youre weird on this post i will block you! head's up!

[mylittleredgirl]

starting any new medication with intended or unintended mental effects is so weird. it’s not exactly like waking up with a whole new brain but it definitely feels like my mind got reformatted. this latest nervous system one is doing some what it’s supposed to physically (thank god) but it’s definitely doing… something to my thinking patterns and emotional responses. i’m not sure what. it has some overlap with the symptoms of an early manic upswing in the sense that the “regard for consequences” segment of my brain is sending an out-of-office message, so i thought it was that at first, but that’s definitely not it. but. something.

#and it’s NOT good for my job or relationships until i learn to manage it #and before you point at me the ‘girl you are experiencing a category 5 fandom event’ is a symptom and not a cause #maybe the hyper focus that tech bros abuse this thing for is just misfiring?? #it’s like the brain fog moved from inside to outside?? #i’m clever again but can’t see the road ahead or the people around me #i mean ‘nice’ is a deeply ingrained habit i’m not telling anyone to fuck off #my sister gave me extremely good news and i AM happy for her so that cracked through it! #but i have never thought ‘i don’t care’ in my life before unless i was manic lol #maybe posting into the void will shake it off #my exciting mental health #the symptoms

[theragnarokd]

.

#its like i dont know how to socialize in fandom except for fic comments anymore #i want to talk to people and make friends but do i even say outside of #look at this thing I've written #do you like it #do you like me #i used to know people who were good at making fandom socializing spaces #it's not a skill i see as much these days #i want to talk about my blorbos with people but also how our day went #and i know other people also come to fandom bc they want friends #its hard BC I feel unless what im saying qualifies as good content i shouldn't speak #it doesn't help that my entire life rn is dread and dishes #i want to talk about fandom but what do I have to say? #so i push myself to write when I have no energy for it #and at the same time #when people do talk to me #i get overwhelmed #i shut down #and then i write posts in the tags #bc I want this to be easy to ignore #so people dont feel guilty #so its easy to just go #i do not see it #i post

[scarystickers]

do any of you guys have an artist who you keep seeing in every single fandom you’re in. like they have no idea who you are but every single time you browse fan art for your newest interest you see that art style and you just know.

#it’s like welcoming home an old friend #except you’re like some weird lurker outside their home and they don’t know about your existence at all #this would be such a cute au or love story if it was like two social media artists who both think this about each other #like they would both have the same interests #anyways #personally a victim of this with #good omens #disco elysium #the owl house #fnaf #and one extra fandom that i have muted because i do a full body cringe when i am reminded of that period in my life #if you’re the artist and you see this #hi #i like your art style a lot

[gaylittlewizardcat]

I think the reason “Ride the Cyclone and Cats are kind of the same musical” bothers me so much is because that argument almost always uses the “the Jellicle Ball is a competition and everyone who sings a song wants to be the Choice” interpretation of Cats which, while I 100% accept it as one of many valid interpretations, is a reading of the show I dislike with a passion

#cats the musical #it makes me feel Bad Religion Feelings #usually thinking about the Everlasting Cat and the Jellicles as a religious group makes me happy #but this interpretation of what the Jellicle Choice *is* and *means* just makes me uncomfortable #I kind of think it has a hint of suicidal ideation #like ‘I’m willing to throw away the rest of my life for a new life that I will then also be throwing away just to be The Choice’ #it’s like they want to be the choice simply *to be the choice* #they don’t need any motivation they just want to be picked as The Best Cat #no matter what they might lose in the process #but that is also based on *my* interpretation that most cats don’t keep any memories #gay little ramblings #the man over there #this warrants that tag cause I basically only see people outside the fandom make this comparison #the Jellicle Choice in my mind is a guarantee that you’ll be reborn *specifically* as a Jellicle - but all cats are reborn 9 times #they just might not be a member of the Jellicle Clowder in their next life #it’s a reassurance that there will be people who are there for you on the other side #that why I only see Griz and Gus as ‘competing’ (though I really don’t see it as a competition at all) #Grizabella doesn’t have anyone now and Gus might not have anyone much longer #for everyone else it feels like they want to be the choice Just Because #and that feels a bit cult-y #‘we want the religious reward because we’re supposed to want it’ #and as much as I love the ‘the Jellicles are a death cult’ jokes (I don’t) #I really feels like it has uncomfortable implications for the Jellicle as a family #as a community

[musical-chick-13]

Regarding the whole "Fandom Is An Escape, so why should I have to care this much about misogyny/racism/ableism/transphobia/etc." thing. Idk about the rest of you, but it gets kind of hard for me to "escape" when I keep seeing people say the same vile things about characters who share aspects of my identity that I hear all the time in real life.

#gotta say: it doesn't make me feel any better getting ignored/disparaged on account of my gender irl and then seeing every fictional woman #also get ignored/disparaged when there is no material difference between her and popular male characters other than her gender #how do I escape from irl misogyny if y'all keep willfully ignoring and flinging gendered insults at 99% (<-lowball estimate) of #female characters? how do I put aside the ableism I face in real life when y'all discuss disabled/mentally ill characters in the most #absolutely out-of-pocket way? how do I forget about biphobia when the 'arguments' you make 'for fun' about bisexual characters #in fiction sound EXACTLY the same as the things people say about my bisexuality outside of the internet/fan culture? #and then obviously this gets compounded if you are trying to even simply EXIST in fandom as a poc or a trans person or an intersection of #any or all these varying identities/life experiences #like yes caring about fictional characters is not the same as caring about real people OBVIOUSLY I can't BELIEVE I have to keep clarifying #that. and at the same time!! because multiple things can be true at the same time!!!! engaging in behavior that enforces pre-ingrained #societal biases and prejudices!!!!!!!! does not help dismantle those biases and prejudices!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in a real-world way that DOES #involve caring about actual people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #it's also. interesting. when people go on & on about how some newest show about thin cis white (male) gays is So Important & Revolutionary #So We Must Do Everything To Keep It Relevant And Visible and then act this way about women/poc/trans people/disabled people/fat people #in media. so like. you DO agree that seeing a variety of life experiences represented in fiction is beneficial. you DO believe in the #value of depicting marginalized people. interesting that that only seems to apply to a VERY narrow and specific category of marginalization #(ugh remember when I talked about this and someone called me a straight person good times)

[skitskatdacat63]

Screaming at the fact that some tiktok history meme artist I follow put out a psa that they *don't* in fact like Napoleon(despite drawing him a bunch) It's okay to appreciate a flawed figure 😭 please I swear

#napoleon fandom is truly like fernando fandom #like people who cant admit they like smth bcs it comes off as problematic #not that fernando's problematicness comes anywhere close to napoleon JSKFKGKLV #i just mean i think its funny to have to preface that you dont like a figure #despite your whole acct being of that figure. 'yeah yeah hes intelligent but he WAS A TERRIBLE PERSON' #i swear to you its okay to like someone who has flaws 😭😭 #liek yeah idk. ik its a real life historical figure in this situation #but yknow liking him is not like you're instantly condoning anything #its okay to appreciate a historical figure but still take issue w the terrible things they did yknow #idk jist find it very funny to constantly draw a person but be like IM JUST MAKING FUN OF HIM OKAY #clearly you have some level of fondness lmao #but yeah idk reminds me of the people who will be like 'i love fernando' but need to bring up crashgate in the same breath #tho i realize how insane it is to anyone outside of me that im comparing yknow. napoleon and nando sjfkkglg #its true okay believe me i said so #catie.rambling.txt

[daydadahlias]

i hate how mean everyone’s being to ashton on twitter. i might have to delete it or at least block his name for a bit, it’s making me sad

dw pookie, as ur superior, i give u full permission to delete twitter <3

#sdfghjk #is that what im supposed to say #ur allowed to delete it shawty #i fucking hate twitter #i really am not on 5sos twitter anymore like #i see a post here or there but for the most part my feed is just memes dfghjk #genuinely dont pay any mind to it #it's twitter! #all of those people are chronically online and live miserable little lives dfghjk #like im chronically online too ofc <3 but. uh. not like that yikes #like i actually have a life outside of fandom that i... enjoy? and I'm actually a fan of the band I'm stanning?? crazy take i know!! #anyway u have my full permission to delete it <3 #pigeon #anon

[zekiship]

#vampire knight #zekiship #aren't ya'll in your 20s by now #why are there still ship wars #like listen #it was fun to play with everyone when we were teenages #but this is ridiculous #there is so much happiness outside of fandom #and life in general is so much better without the drama #and that's what i have to say about that... #zeki

[dailynakaharachuuya]

(just some thoughts about things, I think its rather long so you don't have to read ❤️❤️)

#(sorry for the sudden post but hmmm) #(I cant tell if I am just not into bsd as much as other people) #(or if its simply bc Im just not as opinionated) #(the current story arc has gotten so far and like woah that I don't feel like super excited or shocked whenever there's a new update) #(either that or seeing everyones complaints about everything kinda dampens the excitement) #(tbh I really enjoyed up to like the guild arc but once it got into the whole like fyodor business my brain stopped) #(its interesting but maybe I just like happy endings too much haha) #(I dont talk to anyone in the fandom but I feel like it is very negative( #(hence the reason why I dont really interact outside of posting these drawings every once in a while) #(I like slice of life stuff I suppose and all this is too much haha I much prefer bsd wan honestly) #(itd probably be easier to just ignore the fandom or so) #(but its a bit difficult to do when I wanna see cool art and cool ideas too) #(I dont know) #(maybe bc I dont remember much from the manga but I dont feel as negative as others) #(sorry this was really long hahaha) #(I think I just dont want to feel alone again) #(though I dont have any mutuals so I guess I kinda already am haha) #(🌟🌟 it makes me happy if even one person likes my drawings or ideas) #(makes me feel like I can do it) #(and not feel so negative about something I quite enjoy!)