#i havent drawn instruments in a while

[coffinpal]

the raphs~

crossover with search for our colors by @breadledoodles

i love that he's a musician!! idk if he has a guitar like this but this was just fun to draw. our raph doesnt know what hes doin back there.

#tmnt redline #tmntredline #tmnt search for our colors #tmnt sfoc #i hope he looks ok #the guitar and drum set look perfect almost lifelike/j/j/j/j/j #i havent drawn instruments in a while #love ur iteration!! and i had so much fun with this i wanna draw the others sometime

[bmpmp3]

i do think its kinda funny when i see someone in the year of our lord 2024 talk about vocal synth music like its all gone downhill since like 2010 because like dont get me wrong i love a good niconicodouga-ass 2008 ass vocaloid joint BUT also like. the past couple years have had the most fascinatingly creative and expressive uses of vocal synthesizers ive ever heard in my life DJFSKHJDFS dont write it all off just yet!!

#usually i only see that from people who havent actually listened to any vsynth music from the past 15 years so i understand why they got to #that conclusion. and also usually theyre people who didnt listen to much vsynth music in the first place LOL they just dont know #but it is still a little funny. brother there are things beyond your wildest dreams if u just look #like some personal highlights: the stuff by rinri - particularly their use of the meika girlies #dont carry our memories away is LIFECHANGING the whispers. the spoken parts. the BELTS #plus the haunting and unrelenting instrumentation. fantastic song #and naisho no pierced's propose + birthday + gift sort of trilogy of songs. gift especially has been unreal #again the dynamics of soft intimate whispers to belts but also those fuller high notes with edges of growlyness. #plus the songs just generally rock. and those LYRICS. absolutely intense like physically painful and frightening like #yearning and codependency and possession. and the tuning and production just amps it up more #OH and slave.v.v.r has been doing crazy things for even longer but i only started getting into his stuff recently and holy shit #love eater is like. the scariest vocaloid song ive ever heard not because of the lyrics. but because of the tuning #im like. scared. i cant stop listening to it. the heavy synthesized breathy main vocals and whispered harmonies plus the VOCAL FRY #i didnt realized vocaloid5? i think? has a vocal fry option built in i heard? thats crazy #but specifically in love eater the fry and growl is amped up so deep and loud and clear compared to everything else it like #emphasizes the artificiality of the voice while also amping up the expressiveness #its awesome. and on the older slave.v.v.r songs i heard i will hit you 8759632145 times with this piano. also so fucking cool #addicted to that song. 1) its a great jazzy rocky piano tune with this piano flourish at the end of each phrase that sounds fantastic #but also 2) the lyrics are insane. using kanji to write english?????? #people are doing wild ass things with vocal synths rn you guys #this isnt even getting into some of the really unique synths themselves too. adachi rei is awesome i love that shes just like #the perfect inbetween of sample based and reconstruction based vocals. shes a sample based synth #but her samples were drawn by hand LOL shes like dectalks granddaughter to me..... #a really good use of adachi rei is iyowa's heat abnormal/heat anomaly/whatever its called ITS AWESOME thats what it is hjrkfdgfd #i think the fact that vocal synths can be so realistic and clean and noiseless out the gate now has made people really stop worrying #about like. realism all together and looking more into expressiveness. omg vocal synth modernist movement

[acidichcl]

BOO!! oc x canon jumpscare

Havent drawn them in a while. So here are some doodles

I like this design for her so im keeping it. Her shell is basically like a bag and shes not always wearing it cuz it’s a hassle. Only when necessary☝️

Close ups and a lil bit of context under the cut i guuesss

History repeats itself

Her name’s Monique and Leo likes to call her Elmo. Shes also part of a band but i havent properly drawn the band members yet ;-; their musical instruments all turn to weapons and i think thats epic

Their first ever encounter

Also made an oc to be her sister figure

Her name’s Harmoni so their duo would be called Harmonica. Very silly

Unlike monique, an oozequito got her

#my art #sigh i need to make a character reference for her and her bandmates #posting oc x canon stuff makes me nervous #i have so much lore for my characters #ive just been rambling to my friends about them #but whatever #lolz #rottmnt oc x canon #monique and leo #teenage mutant ninja turtles #artists on tumblr #rottmnt #rottmnt oc #art #drawing #tmnt #rise of the tmnt

[ghoulangerlee]

Ooh what about one of the ladies (your pick) getting a piercing (nip? Cartilage? whatever)?

here's a silly think i've been thinking about where Sunshine gets her nipple pierced bc I saw this ask the other night and its lived in my brain for the last two days but i havent been able to write it haha

Cu/Cir/Sunshine <3

--

Sunshine's not sure how long she's on the surface before she decides to take the plunge; it wasn't as if she was scared of getting a piercing, it was all relative.

Ghouls didn't really feel pain in the same way humans did, and the healing process wasn't as long and drawn out when it came to piercings though of course there could be complications, there could be rejections (this is something that Dew had warned her about, wryly pointing out his lack of second nipple piercing, "It just...pushed its way out of my body," he'd said, snorting softly. "Didn't think it was worth it to try and get it redone.")

She was just, well, hesitant wasn't the right word for it, but she did find herself hesitating; it all boiled down to her tenuous hold on her glamour and the fact she'd need to be human to have it done.

It wasn't that she couldn't keep her glamour up, but her nerves had a tendency to do things to her magic, make her react in ways she couldn't anticipate.

The last thing she needed was to have to explain to Papa that she'd shown her true face to an unsuspecting human while said human had a needle in her nipple.

(Not that he'd be angry and she wouldn't be in trouble, but it was the principle of things.)

"Do we need to come and hold your hand?" Cumulus asks, she's sitting behind Sunshine, braiding her hair with nimble fingers; her hair finally long enough to do more than just toss into a low ponytail. "Would that help?"

Cirrus brings out three glasses and a bottle of wine, the good stuff that's aged in the basement that Sunshine's only had the pleasure of drinking once before. "We could pump magic into you while we do it, help you keep your glamour up if you need it. Might help calm you down, feel less...anxious?"

Cirrus's words are careful, like she's not exactly sure that anxious is the right word to describe how Sunshine sometimes gets.

"I, well," Sunshine begins, taking the glass from Cirrus and watching her places the other two down on the table, pouring a healthy amount in them before filling Sunshine's glass, "Well, I don't want to drag you guys away from your duties," she's not normally this hesitant about things, but the tenuous thing that the three of them have is new and Sunshine feels like a fish out of water sometimes when she remembers just how long Cirrus and Cumulus have been together.

Cumulus snorts behind her, "We're not really that busy," she says, her voice kind, a bit fond, "We've already finalized our part on the album for the vocals and instruments. We're just waiting on Copia to call a meeting to go over it as a whole, which if you're not there because you're taking a personal day, then there won't be a meeting."

Sunshine presses her lips together, knowing that she can't argue with Cumulus's logic, "Okay, so maybe I'm being a little silly," she says in agreement.

Cirrus sinks down on the floor beside her and leans over, pressing a warm kiss to her cheek, "Silly girl," she murmurs, entirely too fond, "Let us hold your hand so you can get your piercing."

A flush takes over Sunshine's cheeks, she feels Cumulus stop braiding her hair long enough to lean over and press a kiss to the top of her head and Cirrus settles into her side, "Yeah, okay," she says, feeling warm and happy and loved. "But just one for now, don't know if I could sit through both right now."

#sunshine ghoulette #cumulus ghoulette #cirrus ghoulette #my writing #the band ghost fic

[2bloved]

Me about to also be silly about the mod.

I love the way they portrayed Steven in this. From the blood red rage and anger his song conveyed. To the foreboding regret that simmers in the background (the “I’m sorry” that briefly flashes in the song)

Not to mention, I have a feeling that Steven attempted to/maybe used strangle on bf. In the YouTube video, a word pops up for a split second “strangle(d)” and that would explain why Miki appeared! Because she had the move strangle in the original.

I also like how BF, Steven, and Miki are the only “colorful ones” reminiscent of gameboy graphics but, also because they are the only ones that matter now. The town has gone silent and it’s only them.

Me having so many thoughts about strangled red

I AGREE SO HARD!!!!!!!!!!!

i have many feelings and thoughts about perdition steven specifically like hes SO FUCKING cool

i also really like just how feral and deranged they portrayed him as while keeping the aspect of the fact steven was just grieving (in a violent way) over his deceased beloved pokemon like.. AND THE IM SORRY THING TOO i also enjoy the literal simmering the background (maybe simmering isnt the right word to use but the ummm the actual gameboy AND gameboy advance soundfonts because i can hear a bit of frlg instruments in it too) AND THEN MIKI ACTUALLY FUCKING SHOWING UP ??!?!?!

i think one of the coolest little details about the empty (presumed) pallet town is the slight blood puddle that ripples beside steven it reminds me of umm the pond water light rippling animation in rse this is hyper specific yes but idk dawg it just do

i might be a little biased but i also think its really cool when pixel art esque styles are used in fnf mods and especially here since not only is it a pokemon mod but it feels faithful to like. the original the muted red and vibrant blood red alongside the black go SO well together

THE STRANGLE THING YEAH i agree i think my eyes almost popped out of my head (exaggeration:i was just very excited) when there was a laughing animation AND a brief implied strangling animation (if u lose) that went hard as FUCK

i ALSO have many thoughts about mr steven "strangled" red .. head full no coherent thoughts i havent drawn perdition steven yet but i def will when i get the chance and motivation....

(i also think its pretty funny if you think about steven calling/beckoning glitched 'miki' at will like a dog because homie could really just take one look at you, smile, and just go "...miki, kill." and then out of no where you see a huge desaturated decomposed(?) charizard in the distance flying at you at mach 11)

#nine.txt #sorry if this is all over the place its 8am and i woke up like a few minutes ago #i think almost every variation or interpretation of steven (and miki by extension) is pretty cool :) #i DO kinda wish we got to see perdition's interpretation of mike in the demo (i know theres concept art but i think he looks a little goofy #slash endearing and not mean in any way

[sinbury]

I’m relieved to hear you’re doing better!! I’m really sorry it took me a while to get to you life has really been beating me down lately and it made me nonverbal, I have thought of you though, how have you been?

I’m sorry, how’ve you been with that? I’ll never understand your loss but I do understand your bond, I have an older sibling and she means a lot to me. It’s funny huh they know how to tick you off but at the end of the day your each other’s missing piece.

Ohh okay good questions!! I do have a cat. I’ll show you pictures when I reveal myself but she’s a grey tabby!! I adore her and found her in the streets lol I have an older sister aaand my favorite hobby is crochet it gives my hands something to do yanno? I get pretty antsy so that helps. I wanna learn bass or maybe drums in the future (I heard the ladies love a girl who plays an instrument and I need something—anything to impress lol) jk I love the sound them 😊 okay, I’ll keep this short buuut I love villains because how misunderstood they are, most of them are woman and our feelings are belittled even in the media. It’s always “they’re crazy” or “you can’t excuse their behaviors because of their trauma” failing to realize that not everyone comes out of trauma as a soft uwu. Trauma isn’t pretty. And most men are forgiven by the public even after making terrible decisions. Some actions become a defensive mechanism and we just want what we deserve. People fail to see that with woman. Men get to feel rage and destruction and literally nobody bats an eye, that behavior is so normalized god forbid woman feel that same intensity of rage and selfishness without the public making entire studies about their behavior. I think 2 of my favorites that I can think of at the top of my head are Catra from shera and Jinx from Arcane. Maybe I’m bias? Now your turn, hobbies? What tv show are you currently watching? Fave season? - Red ❤️

thanks for responding!! i was starting to get worried abt u hehe xx im sorry to hear lifes been hard enough to make you nonverbal :( i dont know what thats like specifically but i know it must fucking suck. i hope u feel better soon and im sending u love 💕

grief sucks ass but its always nice to hear about other peoples siblings!! makes me feel a little bit closer to my brother sometimes :)

i am SO excited to see ur kitty!!! i love that u enjoy crochet bc i have dabbled in it myself and omg its tedious!! kudos for having that patience lmao. i def recommend learning bass too bc my brother was teaching me for a while and its SO FUN !!!!!! 1000/10 makes u feel like a sex god

i like your breakdown of villains in media too, thats always why ive been drawn to them too! especially hot sexy women who do unspeakable acts theres just something so good and cathartic about seeing that 😍😍😍 i havent seen all of she-ra or arcane but i do LOVE jinx from what little i know of her!!! probably due to my harley quinn obsession when i was in high school lmaooo

my pretty much only hobby is art. i just say art as a broad term bc i tend to skip around mediums forever and ever hehe i love all kinds of art!! im not currently watching anything new but one of my fav series is an old detective drama called Life bc the symbolism and the writing is just SO chefs kiss that ive seen it approximately 274818858 times!!! it only has 2 seasons and both are so beautiful in different ways :)

i realize now that i dont even know your pronouns smh!! tell me more abt u!!!! i need all the juicey deets >:3

#red #anon

[screamingay]

Do you have any OCs? feel free to talk about them if you do What was the first piece of media you engaged with on the internet? Are you still interested in it? What's something you made or did that you're proud of? What's something that made you smile this month?

ooh this is so fun tysm!!!

i do have some ocs! ive been working on them on and off since high school and i still dont have an overarching story or anything for them but i'll go over the basics if anyone's interested o.o

the basic premise is a group of friends who start a band called good question, but ive always considered the main couple of this universe to be renee and pj (who i just renamed a minute ago dont worry abt it) even tho they aren't really in the band. the band is made up of alysha on lead guitar and vocals, juan on drums, and anis on bass, with meg as a roadie and sati as their social media manager (and also regular manager). calypso is the newest addition to the group, they're the youngest and im not entirely sure how they'll fit in but i think they're just gonna be a younger college student or something. ive sketched and drawn everyone in the group, some more than others, but i'm still really working on their designs and physical & personality traits and backgrounds and all that. i know that pj likes anime and sati & anis are exes and alysha is an amputee and renee is jewish and all kinds of stuff but i haven't really fleshed them out as much as i want to eventually. lmk if ur interested in hearing more abt them bc it would definitely encourage me to work on them more hehe

i dont really remember what my first internet media was, but i feel like it mostly started with youtube and stuff like charlie the unicorn. my first fandoms were book series, the hunger games and hp and the mortal instruments and all that, and im absolutely not into most of it anymore except the hunger games i still think they're brilliant

i'm definitely proud of some of the stuff ive made! i havent been working on my skills as much lately but my gf has been inspiring me bc i love drawing her body <33 so other than those drawings of her in my top posts rn and that taz comic i did a while ago i like these too

lots of things make me smile!! getting this ask made me smile! also harper got her first tattoo and it happened to have my lucky number in it and my cat is so cute so im happy every time i get to see him and i saw the sun set on bare trees in front of dark clouds a few days ago which is one of my favorite things to take pictures of <3

thank u again for all this!! i love sharing things abt myself and idk if this was like a chain or what but i might send it along to someone else anyway bc it's so nice ty

#ocs

[rocaillefox]

3, 11, 30?

3. What ideas come from when you were little

hmmmmmmm! ok so from a visual perspective- the designs of my characters from paper snow, my fixation on foxes and wolves, and also dragons. visually i dont have many ocs that have stayed super the same, even in paper snow; i guess my focus on expressions first is smthn thats kinda stuck around too?

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

YEEEA spotify, i usually pick an oc playlist ive made that fits the character im drawing or the vibe i want. usually not instrumental, but otherwise could be several genres depending on The Vibes atm.

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm difficult to answer! this guy ig? i havent really posted him anywhere yet though so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk! i can see places here where id want to improve on a redraw too so its like idk! i dont tend to think abt my old drawn art once its done

thank u for the ask!!!

#systemactivated #ask meme answered #mar does answers #rats

[uwua3]

Hello! Sunflowers hold a really special meaning for me so when i read the "sunflower dreams" My heart was so happy!! I havent felt this happy in a long time since quarantine started so thank you for taking the time to write it! It really made my day. If i could request a kazunari x reader where they're both artists that would be amazing. Maybe the reader can be a famous anonymous art influencer? Its up to you! Again thank you so much for writing "sunflower dreams" 💜

i’m so happy i could make you smile ‧⁺◟( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ·̫ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ ) it’s messages like these that absolutely make my day! thank you so much for taking your time to even read it, i’m glad to know it touched your heart ♡ i hope you have a good rest of your day—please know all of a3! love you vvv much!!! ｀･ω･)9 i hope this makes your heart happy just like before! thank you, anon, for everything

summary: every time you fell in love, you made a new art piece

author’s note: please smile from this absolutely soft and endearing kazunari fluff! in times like these where negativity is all around us, it’s good to take a break and purposely give yourself happiness. i hope this is a light in your day and makes you experience all the goodness of love! ♡ — concept based on “to all the boys i’ve loved before”

word count: 3,389

music: i like me better – lauv

to everyone i’ve loved before.

🌻🎨 miyoshi kazunari

you created art every time you had a crush so intense, you didn’t know what else to do

no matter how big or small it was, or how long or short it lasted, love is love. even if it was a random stranger you’d never see again or someone you knew for a lifetime, love is love

therefore, there was no exact total. because even if you didn’t remember every single person you’ve made art for, you clearly remembered what it was like experiencing the euphoria of love. the phenomenon of your heart selflessly beating for someone else. the attack of getting hit by cupid’s arrow out of no where. the rush of emotions unlike any other

love was everywhere and you made sure to create something that was a memory of it. that was when you decided to practice art after being unable to recall a person’s face a moment too long

it was your form of a love letter. a picture spoke a thousand words you couldn’t write, and art was the perfect way to convey that. online for everyone to see were your love letters in art form: portraits of everyone you’ve loved

you fell in love again and again, a new art piece posted soon over the years of your life. under the username, to-everyone-ive-loved, a lifelong project was in the works for all of social media to see

unknown to the rest of the world, you were the artist behind the blog “to-everyone-ive-loved” who created portraits from memory

but, you didn’t mean to fall in love with another artist as well

all it took was one comment and you were theirs

it was one of your most recent posts, a finished piece on a stranger you saw. you found yourself in veludo way, the ideal street to find people you’d never forget. after witnessing a sudden street act, only one actor caught your eye that day

you didn’t know his name, but you didn’t need to. you were in love

you immediately rushed home without a second thought, the inspiration and creativity infectious after watching him perform. something about his energy was wildly entertaining and bizarre, like a modern pop song as a person. he was effortlessly trendy, popular, and charismatic just from the few minutes you saw him

the moment he stood up on that street corner like it was a stage, all eyes were on him and he knew it. as you sketched into the day, you remembered the small details clearly. dirty blonde hair with no dark roots in sight, glittering green eyes, wide welcoming smile. he had the face of an actor, that’s for sure

when you posted it right after finishing, you didn’t expect any major attention. on average, your posts got 100 likes or so. while it was an impressive feat, nothing could’ve prepared you for that one comment

kaz-PIKO: i’m in love with your art ♡

as your popularity and fame grew before your very eyes, you clicked on his profile and realized it was him. the actor you had seen earlier at veludo way

you didn’t know what happened, but all you knew was you couldn’t forget this one person, miyoshi kazunari, no matter how hard you tried

no matter where you went, you couldn’t draw anyone else except that boy named kazunari. after scrolling through his entire instablam account, you found out he was an actor for mankai company’s summer troupe. he was a star in his own right, with a stage presence like the spotlight was constantly on him and a heart of gold

this was the first time you ever got so caught up on someone that they didn’t leave your mind. hours became days, and days began becoming a week before you let yourself follow him back

everyone you had ever drawn had never recognized themselves before. it was all because a follower connected the visual similarities between your art and kazunari’s unique traits that kazunari knew you had seen him before

if only he wasn’t a social media influencer with followers reaching the hundreds of thousands. at least, his popularity attracted attention to your profile...

this was a problem, however. because if you couldn’t draw anyone else, what could you do? once again, you stalked kazunari’s blog once again like it was a habit

it was never really a rule to make one love letter per person, but you never had wanted to make another for the same person. until, now

video after video. picture after picture. story after story. you could see kazunari’s face even when you closed your eyes. what about him made you daydream about him constantly? was it his charming voice that could make anyone stop and stare? his intricate piercings that were different every day? his ability to make you feel at home? whatever it was (or maybe it was an accumulation of everything and more), you had to draw kazunari again

when you posted it, you typically didn’t add more to the caption than the date and time. except this time, you felt like all your rules were being broken over someone who had no idea who you were

to-everyone-ive-loved-before: XX/XX/20 (3:33 A.M.) — social butterfly

you watched it upload. it was a piece you had never done before. glowing butterflies of all colors surrounded the center of the masterpiece, a smiling kazunari

hopefully, this would solve whatever feelings you were having and the world would go back to normal. you’d move on, fall in love with someone else, and repeat

it didn’t work, because some time later, you woke up to a comment that made you feel the butterflies in your stomach

kaz-PIKO: like a butterfly, i’ll fly to you, wherever you are~ ☆

and for some reason, you wanted kazunari to find you

you had never felt so motivated to draw before. however, your muse was the same. a beautiful boy named miyoshi kazunari who was slowly capturing your heart without even knowing it. you watched the pages in your sketchbook lessen and lessen. the corners of assignments and napkins and anything in between was covered in doodles. if there was a writing instrument in your hand, something related to kazunari would come out of it

it was a fascination. a fixiation, even. you had only seen one performance before falling in love. was it because kazunari responded that it made you feel like you had a chance?

you wouldn’t admit it, but it was becoming embarrassing with how much you were staring at the few unread messages from kazunari in your dm box. they came in right after you had followed him back, and more arrived when you posted the “social butterfly” piece

what was stopping you from talking to your muse? you knew the answer without thinking: what if these feelings were real?

obsessions and crushes come and go, but... love, love stayed. there wasn’t any possibility you could love someone from afar without knowing anything about them, right?

but, then again... you did know some things about kazunari. you knew kazunari was the best actor of all time, with expressions and gestures the equivalent of art. kazunari was art—in every single way possible. everything about him made you want to draw and draw and draw

you only drew kazunari for a certain time, no matter which stranger crossed your path. people you knew you would’ve sketched simply became passer-bys, and it was all because of kazunari’s sunny smile that you were in love. or, what you thought was love

the more you thought about kazunari’s unread dms, the more you wondered what this was. why did kazunari make you so happy? was this truly the first time you were experiencing... a crush?!

for the first time since that street act, you found yourself in veludo way. while half of you was hoping you’d randomly bump into summer troupe’s moodmaker, the other half was petrified about how kazunari was a real person. a very much popular, recognizable person

it was the weekend, and the burden of university projects was telling you to go back and focus. yet, with a sketchbook in one hand and a pencil tucked behind your ear, you were very much prepared to draw to your heart’s content

as you tried to flip to a clean page, you heard something that made your heart flutter. despite the noise and busy atmosphere of veludo, a distinct laugh was audible above the crowd. when you looked up, your eyes barely registered a deep blue jacket before walking straight into the person

you nearly tumbled to the ground before two hands steadied you, a surprised “whoa!” leaving their mouth before being followed by a gentle laugh. the usual embarrassment didn’t set in until you went to go thank the person, only to stop

oh my god. you had just bumped into miyoshi kazunari, your muse for the past month or so

kazunari grinned, even though it faltered slightly at your wide-eyed expression and awkward silence. he didn’t seem to mind as he adjusted his black top hat, pocketing his phone and confidently meeting your gaze

“i’m so sorry~! i hope you’re okay, i’m kazunari!” kazunari introduced and you realized he didn’t know you were behind to-everyone-ive-loved-before. you quickly adjusted yourself, pretending as if this wasn’t the highlight of your entire week

when you introduced yourself, kazunari’s eyes sparkled with interest as he easily led you into conversation. despite being a bit of a socially awkward artist who preferred being alone over anything else, kazunari was... comfortable. you didn’t feel self-conscious of how you acted, because he readily accepted how you were with a smile

was he like this was everyone or... did he find you to be a work of art, too?

standing off to the side, you finally noticed several members of mankai were advertising their latest play. bright, aesthetically pleasing flyers were being handed out to everyone walking by, and you seemed to look a moment too long before kazunari followed your gaze and suddenly snapped his fingers

“oh! are you interested in theatre?” you really weren’t, but you nodded anyways just to see kazunari’s excitement. he pardoned himself for a moment just to snatch a flyer, returning to show it off with a proud smile

“please come to mankai company’s summer performance!” kazunari’s smile sparkled and before he looked around to see if anyone was watching, he winked. kazunari covered the side of his face that was facing his troupe members, pretending as if you two were sharing some big secret

“plus, i’ll be there. if you come, i’ll make sure to do my very best~” kazunari bargained, even though you already knew he was already planning on wowing the audience with his charisma. you took in his genuine want to impress you and the butterflies came back

“i’ll come.” you agreed without even checking the date or reading anything. now all of you just wanted more & more opportunities as the person kazunari was surprisingly interested in, not as the artist who was basically in love with him

agreeing right away was worth it when kazunari shot you a grateful, blinding smile in return. you stumbled over your words with how taken back you were, but asked anyways, “do you like flowers?”

kazunari’s eyes softened for a moment, his usual energy suddenly gone before returning. he seemed genuinely moved by your question, and you wondered how many flowers it’d take to see him smile again like that

“i do, especially if they’re from you.”

“what kind?”

someone called kazunari’s name, insisting they were going to be late for practice. kazunari shouted back an agreement by telling them to go ahead first, before putting all his attention on you once again

“hibiscus.” meaning delicate beauty

before kazunari could ask for your socials, with his hand already reaching for his phone, you cut him off, hoping your voice wasn’t off

“next week. 7 P.M., mankai theatre. i’ll be there, front row.” you promised and took off, rushing off with a wave as kazunari stared after you for a second before waving back enthusiastically

as you left, kazunari was about to leave before he noticed something on the ground. it was a plain sketchbook, unassuming at first but it was nearly bursting at the binding with how many pages there were

when kazunari picked it up, he was about to flip to the first page before mankai called his name again, impatient this time. kazunari held onto the book and sent one last glance towards your direction before disappearing, hurrying to make sure the director wouldn’t penalize him for being the reason everyone was late

when you arrived home, you instinctually reached for the pencil behind your ear. at the same time, you put your hand in your bag, attempting to feel the familiar edges of your sketchbook

then, after turning your bag inside out and finding nothing, you collapsed onto your desk chair with shock and disbelief

you lost your sketchbook in veludo way the moment you met kazunari. what if he had it?

you drew another piece and stared at your screen, wondering if you should post it. it was kazunari once again with a yellow hibiscus flower behind his ear, the same gentle smile you couldn’t perfectly capture gracing his lips

you typed the caption and backspaced before settling on something that only you and him would know

to-everyone-ive-loved-before: XX/XX/20 (8:01 P.M.) — delicate beauty

you hesitated before deleting the post a second after. maybe, you’d keep some artwork to yourself

kazunari had the sketchbook open next to his bedside, his phone in his hands and your profile open. he could recognize your art style a mile away, and the moment he saw the first sketch after practice, he couldn’t believe it

did this explain why he felt such a natural attraction to you? when you bumped into him, kazunari swore he could see the sparks flying. you made him feel like he was falling in love and you only proved him right when you two talked earlier. he wanted to know everything about you, he wanted to see you again

was this what love at first sight felt like? kazunari giddily typed a message over and over again, the unread messages of his filling his screen

kaz-PIKO: heya!! ★>d(,,･ε´-,,)⌒☆ just wanted to say i LOVE your art fr!!! we should totes collab, you know???

kaz-PIKO: thanks for drawing me btw :0 does this mean you live near veludo? let’s meet up!!!

kaz-PIKO: ,,, i don’t usually say this but, that social butterfly piece was breathtaking. you must really like me, huh? (･ω<)☆ jk haha

kaz-PIKO: no but really, it’s beautiful. thank you, honestly. it made my day, you make me happy ♡

kaz-PIKO: you must be really beautiful, too. i would want to draw you as well. lmk if ur up for that haha

kazunari read back his previous messages, all of them delivered but unopened. he realized how... how open he already was with the anonymous faceless artist, despite never interacting with them

now that he knew what you looked like, it only reassured his intuition that he was rightfully head over heels for you

kazunari typed something before deleting it, closing out of instablam and throwing his phone somewhere on his bed

kaz-PIKO: i was right, you are beautiful. i may have fallen in love, too

some things were better left unsaid. after all, you two had until next week to figure everything out

for the rest of the week, all you and kazunari did were think about the other person. a small part of you was afraid kazunari wasn’t the dream boy you imagined, but he was much more. you noticed he started posting more often and turned his notifications, wanting to be one of the first to see his practice videos and university selfies

you didn’t post any of the art you made of kazunari, making it the longest you hadn’t posted ever. kazunari couldn’t help but refresh your account every now and then, hoping he’d see his face again, as selfish as it was. kazunari wouldn’t know how’d he feel if he saw someone else had your heart

the longer time went on, the more you were certain. every fascination you had with someone was temporary, and you remembered the feeling rather than the person. but, with kazunari, you liked him for who he was. everything kazunari made you feel was new and exciting, but even when that went away, you still liked him

kazunari was your first crush, for real

kazunari liked making people like him. so, your online confession through art wasn’t exactly a surprise. but, yours was different. it was earnest, honest, and everything he didn’t know he was needing

kazunari looked through your sketchbook again and again, tracing over the notes you wrote in the margins and admiring your skill

kazunari liked you, and he was certain he would’ve still liked you even if you weren’t to-everyone-ive-loved-before

when showtime arrived, kazunari was oddly nervous. peeking from behind the red curtain, kazunari could already see you were one of the first sitting front row, just like you said. he had practiced his lines a thousand times and summer was fully prepared, why was he nervous?

before he went on, kazunari ignored the urgency of the mankai staff and quickly texted a message to your profile, hoping you’d at least see the notification this time

kaz-PIKO: i like you, too

(when you felt your phone buzz, you quickly silenced it)

the show moved you to a standing ovation, just like everyone else in the audience. as summer walked out to bow and express their gratitude, you watched kazunari’s eyes search for yours as he tilted his head towards backstage. you nodded, knowing you’d do anything to see this kazunari. actor kazunari, who was on cloud 9 with his performance and glowing from praise

you wanted to see, to experience, to draw, all versions of kazunari

after the applause, you looked around backstage before feeling a hand on your arm, the feeling reminiscent of the first time you bumped into kazunari

“you came.” kazunari breathlessly stated, as if he was surprised. before he could say anything else, you presented him with a bouquet of hibiscus flowers. the same shade of yellow you drew him with

“of course, i wanted to see you again.” you honestly admitted, knowing it made you flustered. kazunari carefully took the flowers before grinning, gently placing then beneath his chin. he looked like a vision, you wish you could’ve asked him to stand still so you could capture this moment forever

“i wanted to see you, too.” kazunari softly said, all the energy of being on stage gone. it was tranquil and peaceful, like you two were the only people in the entire theatre

kazunari took a moment to admire you before realizing something, taking something from behind him and presenting it to you. it was your sketchbook on the bottom, but a smaller version was on top of it, signed in silver sharpie. kazunari’s signature was glittering like his eyes as you took it

“next time, let’s draw together.”

kazunari’s sketchbook was filled with you. anything from small doodles to encouraging messages was found inside, with tens of post-it notes of just thoughts about you. kazunari’s art was colorful and extremely out of the box compared to his usual traditional style. it made you smile

kazunari watched you flip through it, already knowing this was the greatest act of love he could’ve declared this early on. he anticipated for you to reach the end

when you landed on the last page, you saw a note

do you want go on a date with me?

“next time, respond to my dms! that way i don’t have to write everything~!” kazunari teased and you two shared a laugh, knowing everything was going to be okay

“yes.”

“yes...?”

“yes, i’ll respond to your dms. and yes, i’ll go on a date with you.”

eventually, you ended up closing your blog for good. your last post was a picture of you and kazunari, with one caption

to-everyone-ive-loved-before: XX/XX/20 (3:33 P.M.) — to the one boy i love now, i love you

kaz-PIKO: i love you, too ♡

#miyoshi kazunari #kazunari miyoshi #a3! act! addict! actors! #a3! #act! addict! actors! #a3! actor training game #a3! headcanons #act! addict! actors! headcanons #mankai a3! #mankai company #a3! x reader #a3 x reader #kazunari x reader #a3! kazunari #a3 kazunari

[softapollo]

hi!!!! i found your blog recently and its lovely. ive been feeling really drawn to apollo recently and although im not entirely sure i think ive felt his presence lately. id rly like to start learning more abt him and the theoi from an hellenic polytheist perspective so i could possibly start working w him but i was raised christian and i have no idea where to start. i also would prob have to worship in secret bc of my family lol. do you have any tips/resources? tysm and much love!!!!!

hi love!! sorry for my late reply c: 

disclaimer; im an eclectic pagan, not a hellenic polytheist. if you want specifics on hellenic polytheism (things on hubris, cleansing before rituals etc), i suggest you check out some hellenic polytheist information too/instead. There are things I do similar to it (e.g. libations), but I do not speak for how things “ought to go” according to hellenic polytheists. some hellenic polytheists might scream at the things i suggest, but this is what works for me and what connects me to our sunny boi! just figured you should know!!

some basic tips:

just reach out to him!! if you can meditate, do that, find a way that you can be quiet for a moment and just… relax, get some sort of feeling of being calm and undisturbed and just reach! out! literally the first thing I did was sit at my kitchen table at 10am with my cat on my lap and just… talked to him about that i was new to this and it felt really weird but that i hoped to work with him.

don’t worry or freak out if you don’t get a “sign” right away. you do not need to wait for a sign to work with him. as long as you feel comfortable with it, go for it. took him a while with me too, probably bc he wanted me to realize how ridiculously complicated i was making things.  

write to him!! writing can be easier sometimes than prayer, esp in the beginning, it makes it a bit more physical. you can also write prayers and then read them out, or look up prayers online. 

make a pinterest board or look up stuff here with stuff that you relate to him. it helps connect you to him and what he is all about, and it’s actually really interesting to look back on after a while and see all the stuff you collected that is part of him. also, it’s a really good alternative for an altar too 

this actually reminds me i should go into my pinterest board for him and add some stuff…. 

read! read mythology, watch videos or listen to podcasts or w/e, anything related to him. i personally am not a fan of stephen fry’s book but i know others are, but there are tons of books on mythology out there. I am definitely not knowledged enough to give you a list of recommendations, but i’m sure you can find stuff online! 

get a tiny little thing or a few tiny little things that you relate to him. e.g. a sun pendant or any yellow or gold jewelry, a pen, a notebook, anything that reminds you of him. carry it with you

speaking of notebooks, keep a journal/notebook/something for him. write to him, about him, write down info, put in pictures that you relate to him, make or look up poetry

make a playlist! he is a music boi after all 

learn a musical instrument if you can!! or if you already know one, play for him. (literally thinking about him when you play is enough). whenever i play piano he’s a happy puppy seriously 

don’t feel like you aren’t doing enough. you are. even if you havent said hi in a few days, it’s cool. 

share your food/drink with him! it’s a very simple and hidden way of doing. you can still eat/drink it yourself (he’s not a chtonic deity so it’s all cool). you can just say ‘hey apollo this is for you too’ and there you go. your dinner is now an offering. 

oh hey. make a tumblr for him/your journey, like i did with this one!! he loves being talked about xd

shit this is getting too long

i have so much more info and posts similar to this in my tag, go check those out as well! there is some overlap w this post im sure but there will also be other tips and thoughts!! I hope this helped anything

#apollo #apollo deity #apollo devotee #syl replies #anon

[kawee-chan]

Answer 21, Tag 21

tagged by @remi-demi94​ and @vincentsmemes​ they tagged me over at my art blog @gabberdraw ;v; you’re both most kind, thank you!

1. Nicknames: KAWEE, Gabi (and every other misspelled variation of it....i just gave up wheezE) 2. Zodiac Sign: Pisces~ 3. Height: 5′ 4″ 4. Hogwarts House: i never touched the books in my fckn life..........but Hugglepuff  5. Last thing I googled: something with finding a very specific water bottle shape 6. Favourite Musician: i never have a favorite! constantly changes every week/day...... 7. Song stuck in my head: a big tie between Take a Chance on Me by ABBA, Hymn by Birdeatsbaby, and River of Fire by In This Moment 8. Following: i havent looked at these numbers in a long fckn while 329 9. Followers: 839????????? WHERE THE FUCK DID YA’LL COME FROM?? (a lot of these have to be bots tbh....holy shit tho) 10. Do I get asks?   

every once in a bluemoon, but i’d love to get more! come on doooowwn

11. Amount of sleep: not enough........... 12. Lucky Numbers: uhhhhh idk what to answer for this but i always lean for 4? 13. What I’m wearing: handprinted graphic tshirt and jeans 14. Dream job: comics 👏comics 👏comics👏 something in comics, illustration, or anything with story telling. realistically: something close to home that wont take up all my time.... 15. Dream trip: JAPAN.....please oh my lord 16. Favourite food: SEEEEEEAFOOOD....and broth soups....SEAFOOD SOUP... 17. Instruments: like what we like or what we’ve played? i’ve played guitar back way when. wheeeze i cant play for shit but i LOOOOOVE string and woodwind instruments 18. Languages: espanglish *shot* I’m conversant in spanish lets go with that (like i can understand it, but speaking it is a bit hard for me) 19. Favourite song: same answer as 6 cuz im such an indecisive creature 20. Random Fact: i’m actually using my more...’professional’ icon for my shitty main blog....and a shittier half drawn icon for my art blog. i’d change it but it’s too late this point WHEEEEZEE 21. Aesthetic: whimsy, faded green jackets, turquoise waters, misty seaside cliffs, wavy organic lines, illustrations in children books, nostalgia, brown leather shoes, tired smiles, rainy days/overcast skies, glittering scales, folklore, a warm stew, the big crescendo in a musical song, wistful romance, small flowers, stop motion films, herbal teas, a cold morning in, quiet content, sketchy graphite, opalite, sea glass, floral embroidery, colchas tl;dr: picture the feeling you get when walking around an ikea but they are blaring musicals overspeakers and there’s a goth aisle on floor 3. 

i’m so sorry this took so long to do wheeeeze i dont feel worthy of tagging people im so sorry wheeeze

#kawee's mumble jumbles #tagged mumbles #long post #IM SO SORRY this has been sitting in my drafts for 2 weeks im sitting down now to finish it #thank you so much yuy #im still reeling from that number tho #fckn bless

[egg27]

tag game

i was tagged by @habits-mp3 tysm  💖

Rules: Answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people who you want to get to know better

Nickname: egg ig 

Zodiac Sign: cancer  🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀

Height: 5′3 

Last movie I saw: i genuinely can’t remember, i dont watch movies unless with friends

Last thing I googled: persona 3 kimi no kiouku 

Favourite musician: ahhhh idk? i listen to a lot of music but rv’s bsides r the most my style 

Other blogs:  @eggrt havent drawn there in a while, i also have a url which i got fr a joke but i think will never use 

Following/Followers: 245 / 77 :3 im a little slug

Do I get asks: never and i dont want them tbh 

Amount of sleep: average out on 6 sometimes take 12 hour naps by accident 

Lucky number: 3 !

What I’m wearing:  my home attire - my leggins w my leaver hoodie w heart socks 

Dream job: lawyer ! just like phoenix wright 

Favourite food: ORZ i eat too much............ i like a lot.... for arguments say lets say chebureki

Instruments played: i used to play piano but don’t anymore, have a ukulele but my hands are too small to play it properly gikg,jggjkgnmjg

Languages: english + russian fluent and un peu francais 

Favourite songs: they change every time but currently love get cool by stray kids, the entire persona 4 ost, good to me svt, short hair aoa, bad christopher, crush culture conan gray, monsta x’s cover of as i told you

Random Fact: currently im re watching my fav russian show from childhood and it has 410 eps and im only on ep 32 ** fucked up :3 emoji**

i only have two fwiends @specializedvideotapetechnology + @beethovensan if u guys wanna do a tag game 

#ty for tagging me ! <3

[lesbianekubo]

5, 12, 15, 17, 18!

(for iris bc you forgot HEHE)

5. What does their voice sound like?

i’m going to link this. there is a pained expression on my face while typing.

12) Do they have a type?

Iris likes her gals that can carry a conversation. she loves talking, so anyone that listens or interacts with her while she’s going on and on is auto qualified. she has a bit of a thing for shorter girls, and she loves tattoos, jewellery, piercings- anything artsy and decorative. there’s a soft spot in her heart for musicians too. SHE. LOVES. BEING. TOUCHY. AND. AFFECTIONATE. so she looks for that in a partner too!

15) What horoscope stereotype fits them the most?

Capricorn.

17) How do they dress?

pastel goth/floral. she loves wearing shorts (her fur is like, too long for pants. but not long enough to warrant no pants.) she likes wearing light feminine stuff and accentuating it with darkness where she can. the best example of this is probably like, a sheer floral blouse tucked into high jean shorts with her black choker and moon necklace  (these are all things I havent drawn yet, but you can picture tht!)

18) What would their ideal home be like?

large, beautifully accentuated with plants. big windows. lots of space. she wouldnt have next to no furniture, but rather makes her place on the spacious floor instead, among canvas blankets and candles. she does have instruments littered about her house but her accordion stays in the same spot always, next to the ivory piano in the living space. she uses the area both for herself and to invite clair and ribeye to jam with her.

#iris #AAAA thanks babe #crowempress

[acidwaste]

hey so it seems i’ve forgot to do a l o t of tag memes, and i’m lucky i drafted a big bunch of them! lots of questions overlapped so i did my best to answer in different ways, sorry for the lateness! also @ the people that tagged me here, i wouldn't hesitate to kill for you

@natcaptor / @gayspaced

name: leon or lionel!

nicknames: literally the only nickname I’ve been referred to is “big gay” and like. word!

gender: im pretty sure im a guy, i have been kinda 🤔🤔🤔 abt my gender identity since around november-ish though

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1! i’m told that I’m tall but my uncle is 6’7 so...

time: 3:36pm rn! ive been watching video essays and binging music all afternoon

birthday: december 9th!

favourite bands: animal collective, beach house, camp cope, car seat headrest, death grips, fleet foxes, florence + the machine, gang of youths, glass animals, gorillaz, hop along, iceage, idles, kero kero bonito, mgmt, miike snow, modest mouse, run the jewels, superorganism, the avalanches, the cat empire, the go! team, the mountain goats, the wombats, xiu xiu

favourite solo artists: alex lahey, anderson .paak, ariana grande, billie eilish, bjork, cashmere cat, charli xcx, courtney barnett, cupcakke, d.r.a.m, eric taxxon, frank ocean, gfoty, hatchie, janelle monae, jeff rosenstock, joanna newsom, jorja smith, jpegmafia, kacey musgraves, kali uchis, kendrick lamar, khalid, kimbra, lorde, mac demarco, madeon, mick jenkins, mitski, oneohtrix point never, perfume genius, ravyn lenae, rina sawayama, serpentwithfeet, sophie, st. vincent, sza, vince staples

song stuck in my head: caramelo duro | miguel // kali uchis! its a bop, miguel is one of the few singers that can convincingly make sex jams

last movie i watched: deadpool 2! it was even better than the first, which is a feat in itself ngl

when did i create my blog: december 2016??? i only started using it properly in february last year tho

last thing i googled: “im in my mums car broom broom.” dont @ me

do i have any other blogs: yeah, plenty actually!! i have blogs for aesthetic (@moltenstar), general inspo (@wverns), flight rising (@szarising, kinda inactive?), and overwatch (@blackhardts) tbh the vast majority of my ‘sideblogs’ are just saved urls H

do i get asks: when i say stupid shit like “rung has the ass of a dilf but the dick of a cockroach”

why i chose my url: that one panel where kobd have a vacation at the acid wastes because fuck its finally canon babey!

following: 1,767, which is kinda horrifying!!

followers: 890?? somehow??? thats almost One Whole Thousand and i don't even make content

average hours of sleep: around 6 or 7!! n e v e r more though

lucky number: 43 and 64!!

instruments: i'm too poor to afford music lessons or instruments jsbddsjknfs

what am i wearing: a grey shirt and nothing on my bottom half so my [redacted] is hanging tf out, i should put on some damn clothes

dream job:  oooo uhhh, i’m studying to get an education degree rn because i’d love to teach children (around grade 3-4s preferably because i'm too jittery to handle anyone younger and older kids probs won't listen to me as much as i lack plenty of assertiveness), but!! i’d honestly love to be a musician, one of those underground ones that get lots of critical acclaim

dream trip: one day i wanna gather up some friends and just go on a road trip! idm where we go to, as long as we just have fun and just! adventure!

favourite foods: rare steak, mashed potatoes, eggs, and energy shakes made with like. fruit / cheese / yoghurt / oats / chia seeds ! protein is a large part of my diet

nationality: new zealand, but living in australia

favourite song right now: best part | daniel caesar // h.e.r - gosh i need to re-listen to daniel’s album again, i don’t remember this beautiful song being there and that’s a crime

@damndesi / @novarebel / @luciform-philogynist

APPEARANCE - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo (but I am getting a tā moko in December, I believe) - I have at least one piercing (planning to get a nose ring, like a bull!) - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined (b a r e l y) - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (barely) - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing math in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol (tastes like shit) - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite bands concerts

MY LIFE - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live relatively close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone (do fractures count?) - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages (not fluently) - I have made a new friend in the past year

@smstransformers

age: 16

birthplace: auckland, nz

current time: 4:19 pm rn!!!

drink you last had: i just skulled half a liter of water whoops

favourite song: jesus etc. | wilco if we're talking abt an all-time favourite

grossest memory: accidentally swallowing a bee when i was seven years old (somehow nothing bad happened?)

horror, yes or no: not unless it’s an incredibly tame horror t b h, my threshold for scariness is very low

in love: i believe so!

jealous of people: lots of times, over really dumb things

love by first sight or should I walk by again: i believe that infatuation can exist at first sight but true love not so much. wish that could happen tho :C

middle name: shane!

siblings: my sister is eight years old, and my brother is seven!

one wish: EZ, make my anxiety disappear, i’d have a much more productive life

song i last sang: jupiter | haiku hands

time i woke up: 7:13, woke up immediately because i usually like to wake at 6:30

underwear colour: blue + purble

vacation destination: auckland / kingston / sydney!

worst habit: not remembering to make my goddamn bed, it looks like garbage

favourite food: mashed potatoes….

zodiac sign: sagittarius !!!

@alyonian

relationship status:

at the moment i’m single! and while being in a relationship sounds brilliant, the last two relationships i was involved in? didn’t work out to say the least, lucky i’m still young

favourite colour:

it’s been emerald green for the longest time but orange seems to be dethroning it at a steady pace

lipstick or chapstick:

i haven’t used chapstick since i was six but i probably should use it again, water is my substitute rn fdghdgh - and i haven’t ever used lipstick in any capacity? so i’d have to go with the former

last song i listened to:

the space traveller’s lullaby | kamasi washington - i’m trying to get through his second album rn (i left off on the second disk yesterday) and while everything he makes is undeniably amazing, it’s? a three hour album? i don’t have the attention span for his spiritual jazz, as great as it is

last movie:

monsters inc is playing on the television right now, i’ll go with that! the animation aged kinda badly but it’s still such a fun movie! sidenote: james p. sullivan? a childhood crush, so this gives me memories

top 3 tv shows/podcasts/comics:

i rarely, if ever, venture into these forms of media but! if i had to answer, i’d say;

unbreakable kimmy schmidt / parks & recreation / luke cage

taz / mbmbam (i havent like. watched a full episode of either but they seem cool,)

tf idw / …………. yeah that’s it, i’ve never read anything else. probably should!

additional favs:

my friends, writing (in theory), listening to video essays, learning music theory + instruments and understanding audio production software

top 3 bands / artists:

HHH okay if i had to limit my choices to just three artists, uh. lorde, the mountain goats, and sophie. i couldnt even fit janelle in i hate th is

----------------------------------

@alyonian

color(s): light colors are always nice and pleasant, though anything peachy and sandy are the best! orange (specially pastel orange) is like. the best thing

last band t-shirt i bought: usually merchandising is very expensive and i dont have the money to accommodate that, but like. i do recall having a wiggles shirt when i was five. i wore it all the time, shjdjgsksd im sure that counts

last band i saw live: i almost went to splendor in the grass last year with family, which wasn't only cool since i’ve never been out of the state since i immigrated - the festival was in queensland, which is around a two hour flight from victoria - but the lineup was pretty fuckin lit too! the xx, haim, peking duk, tash sultana, future islands, vallis alps, a.b original,, i was p excited! unfortunately my uncle fell ill and so they had to give the tickets to extended family :( otherwise, i haven't been to a single concert in my life

last song i listened to: street fighter mas | kamasi washington - up to this song on the album and i really fuckin dig this! also the video is hypnotizing

last movie i watched: monsters inc is about to finish and up next is monsters university! which like…. honestly, this is an extremely unpopular opinion but, i like it just as much as the original? my opinion might be skewed because i’m a monster [hugger], but i like everything abt the movie! except for the finale of the scare games and the last five minutes of the movie, both were just. dreadful.

last three tv shows i watched: if aggretsuko counts that’s the last series i watched of my own volition, which is a miracle in itself considering that’s legit only the second anime i’ve watched to completion (the first being shirokuma cafe, which i probably need to re-watch). otherwise, the last two shows i had beared witness to were thirteen reasons why and queer eye bc my cousin put them on! that first show i could completely do without but queer eye is iconique

last 3 characters i identified with: grimlock (legit. all of them), urdnot grunt (mass effect) and vector the crocodile (sth), i’m not sure what this says about me other than Big

book(s) i’m currently reading: i’m reading ‘maus’ by art spiegelman at the moment, for the third time i believe? i believe my classmates are supposed to be writing an essay on this next term and shit, this novel is heartbreaking, i haven't been this emotional when reading a book than… ever, really. it’s a recommendation of the highest caliber

@victorion

name: leon / lionel, i picked up the second name because i was in a server with an admin that was also a Leon™

nickname: besides ‘Big Gay’ i also have the nickname ‘lemon lion’ which is! nice!!

zodiac sign: archer man

height: Tall™

language(s) spoken: english / some maori + italian

fav fruit: watermelons (only when in season)

fav scent: the smell of a freezer tbh? it just smells Nice i don’t know how to properly explain it

fav season: spring! the breezes are welcoming without being overbearingly freezing

fav color: ornge,,,,

fav animal: SHARKS + CROCS + FERRETS

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea! with some milk tho

average hrs of sleep: too little

fav fictional character: One character?????? uhhhhhhh……. like. biggest cc right now is either idw skids or oz from monster prom

no. of blankets you sleep with: depending on my mood but i’d say the average is like, 3??

fav songs: i quickly whipped up some songs i listen to

fav artists: i came to the realization that i like acts that are considered ‘bad’ like maroon 5/drake/lil yachty etc in specific doses… i wouldn't call them good yet, but! i have no beef and thats good

fav books: remember ‘where the wild things are’??? that shit was like. literal childhood, man.. :happytears: i really need to look for a copy again

@thonany-klieme

name: leon / lionel, interchangeable really

gender: male, im probs an nb guy

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1

sexuality: gay??? im not sure, im mostly attracted to other guys but i have had very brief crushes on girls + nb people? sexuality’s confusing so im gonna just latch to the gaybel (gay label) for now

lock screen image: its the album cover of 1992 deluxe by princess nokia, tho it was “T Hanos” a few days ago since i change it often - my home screen is venom but his torso says ‘fuck machine’

ever had a crush on a teacher: no??

where do you see yourself in ten years: ideally i’m teaching kids math n english, realistically i’m probably going down with the political climate

if you could go anywhere, where would you go: new zealand!! or the netherlands

what was your favorite halloween costume: halloween is not big at all where i live, the only time i tried trick or treating was when i was like 7?? i threw a bedsheet on myself and pretended to be a ghost, though since there were no eyeholes + the sheet was blue, it looked more like i was just a moving lump

last kiss: never had one

have you ever been to las vegas: nah and i dont plan to?? how do you handle regular days of 40C wtf

favorite pair of shoes: i have this pair of jandals that ive worn for a fair bit longer than my other pair of shoes, tho i only wear them in summer + very warm nights

favorite book: ngl its. ‘the very hungry caterpillar’ by eric carle. i just, love it alot and i cant explain w h y

#acid.txt #this took a while but :wahoo:

[11toe11-blog]

Covid Sitayana

Ramayana was an epic scale epic. Since we did not have the bandwidth for more than one Ramayana or Mahabharata - we decided to ensure another Ramayana never happens. 

So every other potential Sita was trained - a clear Line drawn - stand inside, well within the line. 

“How many times should i tell you! Stay inside”

Sita - “but the cow…”

“What cow? No cow! Stay inside. Always remember the line. Everything outside is Ravana.”

____

Notes on Kalari -- Dr. Priyadarshan Lal

Warm body- warm up

Being able to stand on two feet requires great balance. Not any other mammals other than humans - who start erect. Core- balance ( like cycle/swimming)

Drawing associations of etymology. Letter of Tamil are distinguished as.

Mei-ezhuthu-  Consonants. Mei --> Body

Uyir-ezhuthu - Vowels. Uyir-->Breath

---> Mei- payattu

8 types of postures:

Lion - cross legged and paw connect. Cross core

Elephant - simultaneous movements of the side. All of left shifts. Then all of right shifts.Strength.

Fish - turn. Flash turn.

Kukkuda/ rooster - flutter up and land

Horse straight

Boar -stright. lift.

Snake

Cat

All the postures appear in the meippayattu, obviously or subtly.

(*noticing how barteniff similarly constructed fundamentals based on evolutionary stages of embryo. In my experince so far, the manipulation of the jelly like that is strong and flexible and can contort and expand and realign etc, in connection with the breath, creates a posture if extended to the extremeties)

(pic courtesy: https://www.leisurepro.com/blog/explore-the-blue/5-harmless-species-jellyfish/) 

___

Empty handed combat. Win over the enemy without fighting. (*love and empathy)

___

Adhara chakra

(*he didnt elaborate, but from the adishakti workshop of many years ago i remember that each posture has an associated chakra basis. Maybe the movement originates or is held or passed through that particular chakra. Im yet to experience it. For fish and horse and elephant maybe i sense it, but i cant be sure)

___

I feel close to being done writing about myself. And my vantage at this point. I feel it would be nice to explore a subject in writing.

Like kalari. And where kalari meets ramana. Not scholarly sense, but for me. So that i can discover for myself the connections i have made. And the questions and blind spots are clearer to me. 

Looking at a dance journal called FUSE, i caught a glimpse of the dancer’s notes...the notes, the scores, seemed closer to my way of enquiring. Scores. Questions. Frames of observation.

What of the archetypes and narratives and characters? 

“We’ll isn't it interesting, that as well as you know your characters and the relationships between them, you aret compelled by dialogues - what they say to each other seems to be of no import to you.” 

 Yes. I cant seem to care much for dialogues insipte of all that auditory hallucinations. 

I feel - The dialogues are not spoken. They are actions. And in the body, their very being itself there is something alive and exchanging and transforming. SOmething that doesn't lean on words to do preliminary negotiations. Something that is, and goes in, and is being from the very start all they way.  Like mom keeps saying, actions speak louder than words.

Yes. And in their moving around and relating back and forth to the space and movements and changing landscape of their emotions/memories/ etc… changes takes place… in ascertain  kind of quietness. Cant call it silence.  Or in a certain kind of silence. Cant call it quietness. Or is it a certain kind of silence. 

But dialogues have no place there. Expect as inner soliloquies. May be as monologues. When it comes to rapid energy exchange, it physical. Not words.  Because words are diversions at best.

Most of the time. They appear when there is no choice, but to speak. And then  the words appear, and they appear crystal clear, to illuminate, to clarify. Not to veil and hide. 

___

Form is created by tension. Last night i was watching the mind. Or rather something was watching the mind. And i was in the mind trapped in its incessant chatter and looking from outside. The incessant chatter seemed to originate from a tension at the base of the skull. From something taut, like a string of a musical instrument. Though not wholly a pleasant feeling. 

In this tension, between this points of tension space is created and form appears. A is the tension between the two slanting lines whose base is pulled apart and wedged by a shot line. Form. Uyirzhuthu. K is the inclined upward and inclined downward push, directed to a particular single point on the vertical line.

Not sure if i would have been able to finally get a sense of the symbols used to denote english alphabets, if wasnt for my conversation with DK, aka Quirky.

Me: wait... i have more technical question ...how do you remember what you did on the floor?

and when does meaning emerge?

He: It's all in the flow

And it's the experience and the environment that the movement create that in turn gives the watching person to make meaning

Technically it's all about the flow and muscles memory

Me: but what of the mover? where is he/she finding meaning?

or is the meaning purely an experience of spatial truth?

He: Meaning is subjective isn't it

Me: yuss

He: It's like the color red and the redness of the read. Red

I guess redness of the red is what I am interested

Not what meanings people associated red with

Of course one can use association of the red to creat an emotion or mood but as a core the ness ness of something is the research

Me: do you at any point at all, as a mover dancer, remember being interested in what meanings people associated with red? or was it always about redness of red?

He: When is create it all about the Ness nesss but ofcourse once the composition and presentation of the idea start I do play with association of the given ideas or objects to create tention. 

But I also know if I considered the association I am closing a lot of other posibal reading

It's a balancing act

Me: mmmm

He: If I address the association more often them not I will be taking stands and sides

Which may be use full for certain works

But as a for being true to the work I find it enriching to look for the nessness of the idea

Me: Ness-ness is nice. very nice. i supoose it the most neutral position available to you while fully innit - if i must intellectualise. but ya... when i was asking you, how do you rember, i was coming from a simplistic space of notaton and mnenomics. but this redness of red gives me a btter answer tothe unasked question.

He: I don't remember I am not wired like that

Dicklessli. Lol

Its all in the flow and muscle memory

And ofcourse repetition

Me: relieff

just came acrosss this https://www.yumpu.com/en/document/read/63113284/fuse1

He: The useal lol . Gay and tamil mami

Lol. I know of the person who runs this project

Me: trust you to massacre! Nut!

___

I dint quite understand what he meant by this “ He: When is create it all about the Ness nesss but ofcourse once the composition and presentation of the idea start I do play with association of the given ideas or objects to create tention. “ yesterday.  This idea of creating tension using associations etc for the compositions and presentations and sharing… the point of outer reflection and feedback from the larger whole , as mirror.  Like R says, “only when the play meets the audience does it become a play”, audience provides that vital energy - that space- witness. ANd thats when the possibilities of the play star unfolding. 

What of traditional performers such as koodiyattam then? For whom the lamp is the only witness?

Also https://www.brainpickings.org/2015/07/06/the-aesthetic-of-silence-susan-sontag/

“Art is a technique for focusing attention, for teaching skills of attention… Once the artist’s task seemed to be simply that of opening up new areas and objects of attention. That task is still acknowledged, but it has become problematic. The very faculty of attention has come into question, and been subjected to more rigorous standards…

Perhaps the quality of the attention one brings to bear on something will be better (less contaminated, less distracted), the less one is offered. Furnished with impoverished art, purged by silence, one might then be able to begin to transcend the frustrating selectivity of attention, with its inevitable distortions of experience. Ideally, one should be able to pay attention to everything.”

“So far as he is serious, the artist is continually tempted to sever the dialogue he has with an audience. Silence is the furthest extension of that reluctance to communicate, that ambivalence about making contact with the audience… Silence is the artist’s ultimate other-worldly gesture: by silence, he frees himself from servile bondage to the world, which appears as patron, client, consumer, antagonist, arbiter, and distorter of his work.”

Both of which i resonate with to whatever degree of my experience  has been. This struggle of audience. And a certain withdrawal and dismissal and a sense of pursuit of something much larger than popularity or appreciation of peers. Which is questioned very starkly here by Sontag like a slap on the hand

“

Sontag recognizes that the gesture of silence in abdication from society is still “a highly social gesture.” She writes:

An exemplary decision of this sort can be made only after the artist has demonstrated that he possesses genius and exercised that genius authoritatively. Once he has surpassed his peers by the standards which he acknowledges, his pride has only one place left to go. For, to be a victim of the craving for silence is to be, in still a further sense, superior to everyone else. It suggests that the artist has had the wit to ask more questions than other people, and that he possesses stronger nerves and higher standards of excellence.”

Is that why i am still around. Hanging on nail and tooth. Because i havent proved myself in this world. That the way to Griffindor is through the corridors of Slytherine?

Ramana says, not necessary. 

Kalari says, if necessary, come to the pit.

Eitherways, the presence and absence of a living fluid core makes a difference to the experience and perception of reality and the energy to keep observing past its frames. So i show up the pit everyday. One way or the other.

#kalaripayattu #ramana maharishi #tensigrity #theatre

[britneyshakespeare]

tagged by @real-pain-for-my-sham-friends ily

1st Rule: tag 6 people you want to get to know better 

@nancybye @sinnamonsam @emoritz @ohwhatamessiam @themainband @hanukkahvulpix

2nd rule: Bold the statements that are true!

appearance: - i am 5'7 or taller - i wear glasses - i have at least one tattoo - i have at least one piercing (i had my ears pierced as a kid but i havent worn em in years but the holes are still there i guess) - i have blonde hair - i have brown eyes - i have short hair - my abs are at least somewhat defined - i have or had braces

personality: - i love meeting new people - people tell me i am funny - helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - i enjoy physical challenges - i enjoy mental challenges - i am playfully rude to people i know - i started saying something ironically and now i can’t stop saying it (haven’t in a while but it’s happened many times before) - there is something i would change about my personality

ability: - i can sing well (people tell me i can sometimes and i get kinda embarrassed bc i dont take it seriously at all) - i can play an instrument - i can do over 30 pushups without stopping (hahahaha) - i am a fast runner - i can draw well - i have a good memory - i am good at doing math in my head - i can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - i have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - i can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - i know how to throw a proper punch

hobbies: - i enjoy sports - i’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - i’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - i have learned a new song in the past week - i exercise at least once a week - i have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - i have drawn something in the past month - i enjoy writing - fandoms are my #1 priority - i do some form of martial arts

experiences: - i have had my first kiss - i have had alcohol - i have scored a winning point in a sport - i have watched an entire tv series in one sitting - i have been at an overnight event - i have been in a taxi - i have been in the hospital or er in the past year (only for checkups, last time i went to the er was october 2016) - i have beaten a video game in one day - i have visited another country - i have been to one of my favorite bands concerts

my life: - i have one person that i consider to be my best friend  - i live close to my school/work - my parents are still together - i have at least one sibling - i live in the united states - there is snow where i live right now - i have hung out with a friend in the past month - i have a smart phone - i own at least 15 cds - i share my room with someone

relationships: - i am in a relationship - i have a crush on a celebrity - i have a crush on someone i know - i’ve been in at least 3 relationships - i have never been in a relationship - i have admitted my feelings to a crush - i get crushes easily - i have had a crush for over a year - i have been in a relationship for over a year - i have had feelings for a friend

random: - i have break-danced - i know a person named jamie - i have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - i have dyed my hair - i’m listening to a song on repeat right now - i have punched someone in the past week (just play-slappin my sister does that count?) - i know someone who has gone to jail - i have broken a bone - i have eaten a waffle today - i know what i want to do in life - i speak at least two languages - i have made a new friend in the past year

just ignore me talkin to myself in the parentheses, also none of you have to do this if you don’t want to!!

#thank ya nancy #tag