#i just Want her back or at least . i want to fucking feel something again. but i cant move on and it sucks and i dont know what to do.

[dilatorywriting]

Truth Potion

Vil Schoenheit x OC x Rook Hunt Word Count: 9.7k

Summary: Truth Potions should be banned from the proximity of any and all far-too-attractive people for all time. Least of all when dating one of them who would be far to keen to use said lack-of-filter to his advantage.

[OC Archive]

🌶️🌶️🌶️ WARNING for Spicy Content! WARNING for References to a Character's Previous Death

READ WHAT YOU LIKE, BUT BE MINDFUL OF WHAT YOU READ

The potion exploding in her face was nothing unusual. Saya had been cursed with cat ears, and fluffy tails, and all sorts of strange ailments at this point. It was like there was a target on her back that the universe had put there saying ‘hey! You! Don’t let this poor idiot escape a single potions lesson unscathed!’

What wasn’t familiar was the strange, staticky lull all throughout her mouth. Making her tongue feel light as a feather.

“That didn’t taste very bad,” she mumbled to herself, and then wondered why she’d muttered anything at all. “But I guess a lot of things don’t taste as bad as I was expecting them to.”

“Oh?” Deuce coughed, good-natured despite his own singed eyebrows. “Like what?”

She shrugged. “Cum.”

And then immediately screamed into her hands like she was being murdered point blank. She gasped against her palms in horror. Because she did not just say that. Out loud. In public.

“I didn’t mean to say that!” she wailed. “I haven’t even told Vil that! And he’s the one who’d actually want to know!”

She clamped her fingers over her mouth again and screamed louder.

“Oh my god,” Ace chirped, like this was the greatest gift God could have ever gifted him and all of mankind. “You got truth dosed.”

Ro blinked in worry from his place at the desk nearby. “Is she going to be alright?”

“No!” Saya wailed.

“Quick!” Ace beamed, dashing forward like a hound after a hare. “Ask her everything you’ve always wanted to know! Before it wears off!”

“Or before she kills us,” Jack scowled under his breath.

“I would never kill you,” Saya said, serious. “I don’t think I could. You’re too beefy. But you’re too nice too. The best. Right behind Deuce.”

“Oh,” Jack rumbled, gold eyes going wide and then quickly shooting away.

“This seems a bit like we’re taking advantage…” Robyn mumbled, looking guilty.

“Thank you,” Saya huffed. “Because—”

“Do you like me, yes or no?” the redhead blurted as fast as he could, and then immediately looked terribly chagrinned about it.

“If anything happened to you I would kill everyone in this room and then myself. You’re my best friend in the whole world and I wish you were actually my brother so I could finally have something good in my stupid genetic pool.” The words tumbled out like the shrapnel from a bomb—wild, and uncontrolled, and loud. Saya squawked in indignation. “Robyn Starling!”

“Sorry! Sorry! I just—I needed to know!”

“Fuck you!”

“Out of everyone in this room, who would you wanna fuck the most?” Ace piped in, like a rabid little demon.

“Jamil!” Saya blurted, and immediately covered her mouth in horror. Said Vice-Warden’s head popped up from his place hovering over his own cauldron, and he immediately looked like he wanted to melt into the floor and disappear from their entire plane of existence. But then, like some kind of absolutely malicious trick of fate, the words just kept coming. “Or Professor Crewel.”

“Someone go get Schoenheit,” the man in question groaned, pinching at the bridge of his nose. “Quickly.”

.

.

“A truth potion?” Vil muttered, rubbing his thumbs along a dot of blue smeared high along her cheekbone. “That’s all?”

“That I can tell,” Professor Crewel sighed.

“This is the worst day of my life,” Saya grouched, and then seemed to reconsider. “Actually, that was probably when I killed myself the first time around. But this is pretty up there.” Another pause. “Worst day of my life so far.”

Vil fought the urge to dig his fingers into his temples. He could already feel the stress headache forming. The last thing he needed was the add new wrinkles on top of that.

“How long until it wears off?”

“Hopefully no more than a day,” Crewel hummed, considering. “Perhaps sooner, if you can get her cleaned up quickly enough.”

“He can never clean me quick enough,” Saya complained past the shield of her fingers. “He always ends up fucking me in the bath, which is entirely counterproductive. Especially when he’s the one complaining about tight schedules. Like, sir, it’s your own fault you’re late. You didn’t have to spend half an hour with your tongue up my—”

Vil clamped a hand over her mouth and Saya looked grateful beyond measure.

“Please just get her out of public,” Crewel sighed, looking like he’d aged ten years over the course of the afternoon. “Before I have an aneurism.”

Saya said something else against Vil’s palm, but thankfully it came out too garbled and flat to comprehend.

“Of course, sir.”

The House Warden dragged his miserable, red-faced girlfriend out the office doors and down a back hallway—determined to skulk away to Pomefiore as stealthily as he could possibly manage.  

“God, what I wouldn’t give to be in the center of a Schoenheit-Crewel sandwich,” she sighed once his palm was off her lips, and then immediately paled from head to toe, like a ghost. “I might actually kill myself again.”

“Do not even joke about that,” he snapped.

“Can it be a joke if I’m under a truth spell?”

“You know,” Vil smiled, poisonously poised and vicious, “Perhaps I should go back and let you make your offer in person, hmm? I’m on decent enough terms with the Professor. Perhaps we can make an arrangement, if you’re being so truthful in the moment.”

Saya tucked both hands over her mouth and allowed herself to be herded back towards the elaborate, Pomefiore dorms in silence.

.

.

The bath that followed was entirely unsexy, and Saya nearly bit through her bottom lip in an effort to keep her bubbling complaints under wraps. Vil practically dunked her like a rag against a washboard, and she couldn’t help but think that he always got a bit like this—a bit too upset, a bit too mean—whenever her untimely demise was brought up all over again. Which, on one hand, she couldn’t blame him. Whenever Robyn talked about his own death, it made her stomach fall and her hair stand on end. And if Vil had done what she had—Well. She’d be upset too. So she sat politely and quietly in her towel until the stupid potion got the better of her. 

“I just don’t get it,” she said into his glacial sneer. “It’s not like it matters.”

“The fact that we’re having this argument yet again when you can’t even physically lie about it tells me you need more therapy than there exists on this godforsaken planet.”

“I am a little broken,” she shrugged, and something in the model’s amethyst eyes went so terribly sad. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I mean, I meant it. But I shouldn’t have said it. I don’t like upsetting you.”

Vil sighed and reached out to dry her hair, gentler now. Scrubbing the soft towel over her short, blonde, waves in little circles.

“I know,” he said. “And I’ll reward your valiant efforts by not pushing all of the things I would so love to use this opportunity to push.”

“I wouldn’t mind,” she hummed, leaning into his kneading. “Not if it’s you. Not really, at least. Even if it is embarrassing.” She paused, and he watched her try to physically swallow down the words in her mouth before they came tumbling out anyways. “Your cum tastes good, by the way. Well, not good. Not like, I don’t know, candy or whatever. But like, not bad at all. I thought you should know. Because I said it earlier, but you weren’t around. And now you are. And now I also need to throw myself out the nearest window.”

The startled laugh that ripped out of his throat was entirely less dignified than he would have liked.

“Is that so?” he trilled, beyond amused. “I suppose I’m glad my healthy diet has been useful for… other unexpected benefits, as well.”

Her face screwed up like he’d forced her to drink rotten milk and he couldn’t help himself from feeling hopelessly fond at this miserable, sopping wet, little wreck of a person.  

“Anything else you’d like to confess?” he grinned. “While I have your full attention?”

More nose scrunching. “What do you want to know?”

It sounded like the question had to be pried out of her mouth with pliers. Vil’s smile went a little wicked. He dropped the towel to his bedroom floor so that he could dig his fingers into her damp hair.  

“What’s your favorite part? Of all the things I’ve done to you?”

“That you’ve loved me,” she said instantly, and that teasing mew melted off his face in a heartbeat. Saya looked positively stricken. “Oh my god, please. Why are you doing this to me?”

“Because I love you,” he chirped, mocking, and she made a gagging noise. “But as touched as I am by your sentimentality, I had meant on the more physical side of things. It’s so hard to get your honest feedback.”

“I thought you liked that,” she said, a bit mulish. “The whole ‘stubborn’ thing. Having to pin me down.”

Saya watched the round, black circles of his pupils jump and dilate. The twist of his mouth went smug and warm—familiar. In all the best and worst possible ways. 

“Is that why you do it?” he cooed, a dangerous lilt to his voice that had goosebumps dancing down her spine.

“Not completely,” she mumbled, gaze slipping away and cheeks going pink. “I think some of it is just—just me, too,” she gulped as his nose trailed down her neck. “That’s really distracting.”

“Is it?” he drawled.

“I just said it was!”

“You’re so lovely to me, do you know? Working so hard to try and meet my tastes,” he said against her collarbone, and she shivered. “What else could I do for you, I wonder?”

“You do more than enough.”

Vil couldn’t help but feel flattered at the ringing truth in that proclamation, but he pushed forward nonetheless. This was a golden opportunity not to be diminished—not even by the charming warmth of their sentimentality.

“But I could always do more. Tell me—I’m always open with the things I’d like to do to you. What’s something that you’ve always wanted to try.”

“DP,” she burst out, and then immediately ducked her head to shriek against his shoulder. “Oh my god, please forget I just said that. Well, don’t forget it. Because it would be—really, really—I just. Oh my god!”

“You weren’t kidding then,” he tutted, warm and calm, dragging a soothing palm against her lower back, “when you mentioned the professor and I earlier.”

“I mean, only a little. I’d never be able to look Crewel in the eye again. It wouldn’t be worth it. Especially when I think he’s just starting to like me.”

Vil huffed. “He adores you.”

“Yeah, more like he’d like to hit me with a-door.”

“I can see this isn’t the time to address your self-worth issues,” he droned, and then worked to shift back into the direction he’d been so carefully coaxing. “But either way. You were saying? Something about being taken by—"

“I know it’s not practical!” she immediately squeaked. “Like, I am fully aware you only have one dick. And also, like, I love you. I don’t have any desire to like, go around fucking some other random person just to, I don’t know, satisfy some weird fantasy. Everyone has their like, Thing that they’re like ‘wow. That’d be super hot. Will never happen. But damn.’ And that’s just—I don’t know. Mine.” A pause, to take her breath. “Also, like, it takes two to tango. Or, well, three in this case. And I’m still reeling over the fact that I’ve managed to trick one person into sleeping with me, let alone two.” 

Vil couldn’t hold back his snort. “I’m certain you could find more than double that on this campus alone who would be more than willing to step in to fill the role at a moment’s notice.”

She crinkled her nose. “Even if that was true, I still love you most. I don’t want other people.”

“And if I found someone suitable to partake in this? Someone who has perhaps displayed a keen interest in the past and who I trust enough to involve? Someone who’s already proven more than enthusiastic about the topic?” Vil asked, and he watched her eyebrows jump up in startled confusion. “Would that be amenable then? If you had that on top of my fullhearted approval and support?”

Her brow furrowed, clearly taken aback. “Who the fuck are you talking to about screwing me?”

Vil snorted another laugh.

“My, you’re feeling crude today.”

“It’s this stupid potion and you know it!” He watched that tight little tick in her brow grow deeper as she dove into the depths of her thoughts, searching and searching for an answer he was sure she’d find. All of a sudden she choked. “Are you talking about Rook?”

“I knew you’d get there eventually, kitten.”

“But he—” she gaped. “He doesn’t—I haven’t—” she spluttered. “He doesn’t even like me. I bet he’d hang my head over his fireplace if he got the chance.”

Vil barked out a laugh. “That would certainly be the highest of compliments.”

At her continued fretting, he leaned closer to tug her in tight and go back to running his fingers up and down her spine. “Naturally it’s your choice, but I can assure you, I’ve heard more than my fair share of soliloquies about the wonders of your bountiful bosom to know he’d be more than thrilled to assist.”

“They’re not even that big,” she grouched under her breath. “But that’s… Even if he was okay with it, what about you?” she asked, nervous.

Vil grinned, sharp and seductive. “Darling, who hasn’t shared something so private with their closest friend, hmm?”

“Uhm, me?” she gaped. “If you ever catch me in a three-way with Ro, please just shoot me in the face—"

“You’re moving away from the point,” he accused, snagging her chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Now. Tell me—would that be a situation you’d be amenable to?”

She chewed at her lower lip hesitantly and looked up at him through her lashes. “I trust you enough that if you think it would—it would be a good idea, then…”

“This isn’t about me,” he tutted.

“Everything in my life is about you,” she corrected sharply, and then immediately went beet red. “Fucking just—gag me or something. Please.”

Vil laughed. “That can be arranged. But first,” he grinned, moving to slip lithely to his feet. “I do believe I need to have a conversation with my Vice Warden.”

.

.

 “Shouldn’t we at least wait until the potion wears off?” Saya asked, hoping she didn’t sound nearly as panicked as she felt. “And, I mean,” she spluttered. “This all probably feels a bit sudden, right? Like, I know if someone knocked at my door one minute to—to—"

Rook’s answering grin had a shiver running down her spine and Vil reached out to tweak her cheek like an unruly child.

“Nonsense. How else will we know if you’re being honest about the experience, hmm?”

“That’s fair. I do lie about how I’m feeling a lot,” she said, and then instantly bit into her lip with a scowl. Fucking— “But that still doesn’t answer the,” she waved her hand around her head. “The other bit.”

“Ahh, but what predator could ever turn down such an opportunity to pounce when a feast is presented to him, hmm?” Rook cooed, hand over his heart as if he was about to start delivering a grand poem. “Particularly when it is a meal I’ve most looked forward to. And I can promise that I have thought on it long and often, mon chaton,” he smirked—a strange, dark, twisty thing that showed perhaps a few too many teeth. “It is so hard to look away when so much fluttering beauty twines itself so frequently beneath a shared roof.”

Dutifully ignoring the implications of that little statement, she frowned and said, “But you like pretty things.”

Vil frowned right back, but before he could launch into another one of his irritable spiels about self-value, and ‘in the eye of the beholder, blablabla,’ Rook ducked in and scooped her hands up between his.

“There is loveliness in delicacy,” the hunter agreed easily, smoothly. “But there is also beauty in a storm, in destruction. Qu'est-ce que la vie sans la mort? Qu'est-ce que l'amour sans l'horreur? And you, petite tentatrice,” he grinned, “are the loveliest storm of all.”

Her mouth dropped open in shock. “I’m sorry, but did you just French your way into saying that me being an unruly bitch is hot?”

“Ahh,” he crooned, lifting a hand as if he was about to swoon, “you’ve found me out!” And then that grin was back, sending all kinds of nervous goosebumps racing down her arms. “An easy hunt may speak to one’s skill well enough, but sometimes I can’t help but hope for a chase.”

“You’re unsettling her,” Vil warned, reaching out to twine an arm around her waist and rub soothing circles into the divots of her hips. “I told you not to overdo it.”

“Ah, pardonne moi, pardonne moi!” he lamented. “But I could hardly help myself.”

Vil’s amethyst eyes narrowed, a silent reprimand and threat all in one. You will help yourself, that glare warned. And while the Vice Warden certainly didn’t outright cow to that sneer, he dipped his chin in easy submittance nonetheless.

“Of course, mon reine,” he chirped. “This is a gift! And I will do my best to cherish it so.”

He reached forward and brushed a wayward strand of honey-hued hair from Saya’s eyes—fingers landing neatly on her cheek after to rub at the spreading flush there.

“How could I not? Especially after you’ve trained her so wonderfully.”

Saya gasped in indignation, that nervous blush staining plum red with rage instead.

“I’m not a fucking dog!” She snapped. “And he hasn’t—I haven’t been—”

“We’re working on it,” Vil droned, and Saya started spluttering all over again.

“We are not!”

“Well, we aren’t,” the ethereal beauty sighed, as if terribly put upon. “That is my job, after all. And you don’t make it easy, darling.”

The snarky retort twisted off her tongue with the taste of popping bubbles and lingering herbs, and instead, what came out was a pouty, “I thought that was the point.”

She cursed colorfully under her breath and Rook burst into gleeful laughter.

“Oh, she is just merveilleuse, mon reine. Je suis honoré que vous souhaitiez partager une telle merveille avec votre humble serviteur.”

Vil scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Perhaps if you were so humble as you’d like me to believe, you wouldn’t have been so bold in your spying these past months.”

Rook held up his hands with another snicker, as if to say ‘you caught me!’

“But it worked, did it not?” he beamed, and then leaned forward to nuzzle along the underside of Saya’s jaw. His teeth skimmed the delicate, pale skin there and she pressed back against Vil with a squeak.

Vil rolled his eyes yet again and shifted so that Saya could tuck herself up against him in one, long lean line. Like a cat arching away from the wandering hands of an overenthusiastic guest and towards the familiar warmth of its owner. But all that being said, proper socialization was all in the name of the game. And he would be terribly bereft to go lax in his diligent efforts now of all times. 

“Gently,” he reprimanded. “She startles easily.”

“I’m not a—” she squeaked again, and Rook ducked forward with another sharp nip. “It’s not weird to be jumpy. I’d never done anything like this before I met you.”

“Ah, comme c'est chéri,” Rook cooed, as he burrowed in closer and latched his mouth against the hollow beneath her throat, sucking an angry, purple bruise against the pale skin there. “Did you know,” he trilled, popping back with a preening little smirk to observe his handiwork, “that our dearest queen does have quite the love of, ah, how did you describe it?” Rook mused. “Un amour de la corruption?”

“Rook,” Vil sneered, lip curling in warning.

“Not like that’s anything I didn’t already know,” Saya scoffed under her breath, and then squawked when familiar, painted nails dug into her hips.

“What was that, kitten?”

“I—I just meant,” she gulped, cursing that stupid potion with every fiber of her being. “It was—you got excited. When I said I was—that I had never—and you—I—” she trailed off with a nervous incoherence.

Vil hummed against her neck and she shivered.

“This is quite the difference,” he mused, a note of interest curling over his words. “To ask for an answer and to receive one rather than some stuttering, biting attempt at maintaining your dignity. I can’t say I’m opposed.” His hands trailed lower. “Perhaps not forever, but as an anomaly—as a treat,” he smirked. “For all my hard work.” She could feel the blunt, rounded edges of his nails trailing back and forth at the inseam of her thighs. “I do enjoy the ensuing correction far too much to want this new sweetness of yours to become a permanent fixture in our lives, but for the time being…”  

Saya gulped, and she could see Rook’s eyes trace the movement like a fox watching a rabbit’s hole.

“Tell me, won’t you” Vil demanded, head going high once more and some of that haughty, put-upon superiority lighting his eyes. Saya knew that expression, and it meant literally nothing good for her hips or spine for the upcoming days. “What makes this so appealing to you?” He grinned against her hair, sharp. “Wanting to be taken so thoroughly.”

“I—” she spluttered, feeling those awful, terrible remnants of magic dancing around her mouth. “It just—I—” and then that arcana popped with a focus and she was babbling all over again. “It just seems—seems nice. To be wanted that badly to be shared like, like something special. And—being between—the, the warmth of it seems—I…” She was going to die. Melt into a puddle and stain his stupid carpet with her untimely end. “I like to be squished, and held. And being that full seems nice.”

“Tellement poétique!” Rook crooned, looking nearly sparkly-eyed with wonder.

‘I hate this,’ she tried to spit, but instead, “I don’t mind this.”

Vil snorted a laugh into her hair.

“Yes, darling. I could tell.”

His hand dipped past the edge of the towel and brushed pointedly between her legs. He pulled back when she squeaked and held his fingers up with the same air as a teacher offering a demonstration. The wetness on them caught the light overhead—shining and slippery—and Saya tried to bury her face in her hands.

“You’re not particularly subtle,” he hummed, amused. And Saya felt like her blood was about to boil straight out of her veins.

And then, because apparently the love of her stupid life was actively trying to send her into cardiac arrest, she watched through her fingers as Vil stretched forward and offered his hand for Rook’s inspection. The hunter’s gaze tracked the slow, sticky drip of her and his emerald eyes pointedly flickered down to the space between her thighs, still artfully hidden beneath the fringe of the bath towel. And then those too-bright eyes slipped back up to meet hers and he leaned forward to lick a long stripe up Vil’s palm.

“No need for embarrassment,” Rook promised, licking his lips pleasantly. “Neither of us can lay claim to the notion of subtly either, favori.”

“Oh my God,” she choked.

“Ah, ah,” Vil tutted, twisting his other hand forward to pinch at her thigh. “We’ve talked about this.”

“Vil,” she gasped, a bit too close to a petulant whine.

“Better,” he smirked, and then reached up to loose the folds of her little towel, sending it fluttering to the mattress beneath them. Saya shivered at the rush of cold air, and then again when she caught the strange, predatory gleam in their guest’s green eyes. His gaze was like a tangible thing, running over every bit of exposed skin like the edge of a blade dipping along her shaking limbs.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” she snipped, embarrassed.

“Oh, not to worry!” he chirped. “I’ve taken several!”

“What—"

Vil twined his fingers through the shorter hair at the base of her skull and tugged. “Focus, kitten.”

“I’m always focused on you,” she snapped, potion bubbling off her tongue. And Vil rewarded her honesty with another sharp tug and a dip into a deep kiss. He pressed her down until she was dizzy, and when he finally pulled back with a contented hum and a flickering, wine-warm smirk, Saya felt like she was ready to melt into the bed.

“How do you always look so stupidly put together during sex?” she complained, unbidden. “And I always wind up looking like I’ve been railed halfway to Sunday.”

Vil snorted in amusement. “Perhaps that’s the point.”

His purple irises jumped past her shoulder and then the bed was dipping again. Saya blinked, not even having realized that Rook had stepped away. But then the hunter was back and she squeaked as a pair of deceptively well-muscled arms hauled her up against an unfamiliar and very naked chest. Vil nodded, as if in satisfaction with the state of things, and then eased himself back towards solid ground to also begin the process of divesting himself of his ridiculously intricate House Robes.

A pair of unfamiliar fingers snagged her chin and Saya found herself turned to face a smile that would not look out of place on a shark.

“There you are, chérie,” Rook purred, like a big cat hulking down over its kill, and then ducked forward to press his mouth against hers in a kiss that was like a whirlwind. While Vil kissed like an artform—a perfected, poised, creation that pushed as soft or as hard as he felt suited the moment, Rook kissed like he meant to eat her alive. He nipped at her lips until Saya was tasting copper, and the self-satisfied groan that rumbled from his throat had her nearly vibrating out of her skin.

The bed was dipping again and she felt another set of far more familiar hands work their way around her waist—pushing the leach away and dragging her back across the sheets to sprawl along a lean lap. Rook laughed, pleasantly amused, and pointedly reached up to wipe a speck of blood off his chin.

“Poor thing,” Vil sighed, brushing a thumb along the smear of crimson at the corner of Saya’s own abused mouth.

The poisonous beauty leaned forward to press his lips back against hers. He laved his tongue across the fresh cut there, easing the sting and sharpening it all at once.

“He’s just terrible to you, isn’t he?” he cooed, all mocking softness. “I suppose you’ll never be able to complain about my own methods again, once this is over. I’m not nearly that mean, am I, kitten?”  

“I like it when you’re a little mean to me,” she admitted, eyes darting away in mulish embarrassment.

Vil chuckled against her throat—a warm, satisfied thing. “You’re providing me with far too my ammunition this evening, darling.”

“You think I don’t know that?” she snapped. “I’m literally never going to live this down.”

“Ah,” Rook trilled, slipping forward to tuck himself up against the skin of her back. And Jesus, she’d known the two of them were pretty substantially taller than her, but being wedged between them like this was a stark reminder of just how teeny she was. “But is it not better to be open and true with the one you love, hmm?”

“It’s not my fault I’m emotionally constipated,” she grumbled.

“Oh?” the hunter mused. “If you provide me with a list of the ones who are suitably responsible then, I would be more than happy to ensure that such a strain upon your person would never occur again.”

“Uhm,” Saya spluttered. “Appreciated, but… I mean, they’re all back in my old world anyways.”

“Ah,” he hummed, ducking over her shoulder to press another kiss to the corner of her mouth. “Quel malheur.”

There were too many hands at her waist, and the pull of it was a bit disorientating. Saya swayed into one kiss and then another, neck craning back and forth—left to right, left to right.

“How would you prefer us?” Vil asked, with all the casual nuance of someone inquiring after the weather. It was going to drive her insane. And holy fuck, holy shit, they were—

“—actually doing this,” she choked, feeling lightheaded and far, far too warm.

“Of course,” Vil smirked, amusement playing across his face. “Unless you want us to stop.”

“Absolutely fucking not,” she squawked, and then buried her face in his shoulder in humiliation. Rook laughed, chiming and musical against her collarbone.

Vil reached around to dig his fingers into the soft flesh of her rump and squeeze. “Well? You haven’t answered me.”

“…You in front?” she asked, tentative. “So I can…”

“So you can?” he pressed, dragging her back and forth between them in a horrible, torturous grind.

“So I can kiss you,” she mumbled, pink from the tip of her chin to the roots of her hair.

That upright, royal smugness melted from his face for a moment in a wave of golden fondness, and he ducked in to press a sweet, soft kiss to her lips—his hands coming up to cup her cheeks and run gently through her mused hair. She could hear Rook let out the most besotted little sigh, like he was watching a favorite scene from one of Neige’s romcoms.

“Ah, l'amour vrai,” he breathed, leaning forward to hook his chin over her shoulder. “I never will tire of the sight.” 

“Mmm,” Vil hummed, pulling away from her mouth with a lingering nip and a long, deep drag of his tongue along hers. “I suppose not, if I have any say in it.”

Saya blinked—dizzy, and warm, and jaw still hanging slack—and Rook laughed at the startled look on her face.

“Meaning he’d like to keep you forever, mon coeur,” he chirped. “So such a treat on the eyes will never have an expiry date.”

“Oh,” she whispered, still far too dazed and only falling further into that horrible, hot spiral when Vil’s fingers shifted back down to her waist to pull her back into that slow, smooth, grind between them. It was awful, and wet. And surely she was making a hideous mess of the sheets. And their thighs. And all of it. But neither of them seemed to mind, only groaned low against her skin as the blonde beauty rocked her and back and forth, and back and forth, and back and—

“Still alright, kitten?” he laughed, leaning forward to suck another dark mark against her throat.

“I want that,” she blurted, and it came out shivery and far too high. “Being—” Son of a—No! No! She had some dignity left! And stupid fucking truth potion or otherwise, she wasn’t going to let him tease her into saying— “Being yours forever.”

Another kiss, so deep and strong it had her collapsing back against Rook’s chest with the push of it. She whined against painted lips and she felt the hunter’s pleased rumble along her spine in return.

“Si réactif,” he sighed, dipping down to the other side of her throat to lave a matching mark to one Vil had only just bitten into her skin.

Vil hummed again, deep in his chest—lips trailing from her mouth, down her chin, and all the way to her collarbones. “Isn’t she?”

“Okay, okay,” Saya squawked, fighting a shiver when Rook’s hands curled around her front to cup at her chest. “Can we stop talking out how stupidly squeaky I am and just—just get on with—"

Two of Vil’s fingers curled up into her in one, sharp thrust and she gasped.

“What was that, kitten?” he cooed. “I couldn’t hear you—” another brutal thump thump thump, another strangled exhale, “over whatever—” gasping, and gasping, “you were trying,” Saya squealed, hands coming down to tug fruitlessly at Vil’s wrist as he drilled up into her over, and over, and over—“to say?”

She bucked against his grip and then Rook’s palm was slipping forward to press down hard just below her naval. And she could practically feel the tips of Vil’s fingers grinding up against the hand at her abdomen. Full, and tight, and so, so—

The hunter’s other hand dipped low between her legs to rub tight, focused circles against her clit and the winding, spring of heat in her gut just about snapped. Hard, and fast, and sudden. And then it was gone. Those crafty, wet fingers slipping away to stroke along her flank instead. Saya threw her head back against Rook’s shoulder with a whimpering gasp. She bit into her lip and pressed her fingers over her mouth in a bid to trap some of the horrible, embarrassing noises trying to sneak off her tongue. To trap the complaint, that she could feel bubbling up along with those awful, terrible mews. Because if she ever, in all her life, let a whiny, little ‘why did you stop?’ pass her lips, Rook Hunt would never let her live it down. Ever.

She breathed through her nose, counting slow and steady as she tried to drag her head back out of the clouds. And just when she thought she was settling that horrible, heat addled, fog into something manageable, the grinding started again and she squeaked.

“Wh-What are you—” she choked, twisting down against a third finger. A fourth.

“I know that normally you prefer a bit of a sting,” Vil said, and Saya was nodding along with the bubbles of that godawful potion before she could help herself. There was a twitch in Rook’s fingers along the dip of her spine, and she could feel his nails dig into the skin there like he couldn’t help himself. “But this is something new, darling. So it’s better safe than sorry, hmm?”

“I wouldn’t be sorry,” she blurted, and then cursed under her breath. “Probably.”

Vil chuckled, indulgent, against her cheek, and then curved his fingers in a way that had her seeing stars.

“Another time, perhaps,” he trilled, soft, and went back to scissoring back and forth. A steady, slippery grind to ease their way.

There was a curious hum at her shoulder and then Rook’s fingers were dancing back around to tap at Vil’s steadily rocking wrist.

“May I?”

Those heavily lined eyes narrowed for a moment, considering, and then he slowly shifted his hand to make room for Rook’s own, slipping two fingers aside to leave a soft, warm space between them.

“Carefully,” he warned, firm.

“Bien sûr, bien sûr!” Rook trilled, delving forward too fast, and too quick, and not in line with his sweet, little reassurance at all. Saya squeaked and clenched her thighs shut around his hand. Hips stuttering on the rapid thump, thump, thump of his knuckles meeting her folds. She arched away with a gasp, toes twisting in the sheets and head tossing back and forth in a tight, strangled little mewl.

“Slower,” Vil snapped, and Rook sighed like an unrepentant child with their hand caught in the cookie jar.

“Yes, yes. As you say, mon reine.”

The brutal pace grew more tempered, more constrained, and Saya’s muscles slowly eased out of their rigid arch. Vil hummed, approving, and deftly began to twist his own fingers again in time with Rook’s enthusiastic exploration.

“Angle yourself a bit more towards the front. And a touch to the right,” he coached, and then there was familiar pressure against a tight, far too sensitive part of her that had Saya keening. “Ah. That’s it then.”

“Merci, merci, Roi de Poison,” Rook beamed, “for your marvelous guidance, as always.”

“Please, just—” she begged, twisting and bucking against the mess of hands between her legs. Because she couldn’t—it was all—there was so much—and— “It’s fine. I’m ready. Please. Can you just—”

There was a sharp pinch at her hip that had her whining and flinching away.

“Don’t rush me, kitten,” Vil chastised. “You know the rules.”

“Of course I do,” Saya snapped, more of those same, terrible truths popping along her tongue like fizz off a soft drink. “And breaking them is the only thing that gets you to actually fuck me nine out of ten times. So of course I—"

Another wicked sting at the inside of her thigh, and Saya yelped.

“My, you are an unruly, little thing aren’t you, favori?” Rook cooed, nails raking up and down her pale skin like he wanted to etch those stark, red lines into her flesh like a tattoo. “Your darling Queen adores you so much, and this is how you repay him?” There was a near-feral, hungry spark in those emerald eyes that had her trembling. And suddenly Saya felt very much like a rabbit trapped between the jaws of a cackling fox. A feisty, smirking predator who just wanted any excuse to chase, and pounce, and bite—

“Enough, Rook.”

 Another sigh, long and lamenting. And Saya shivered against a fresh wave of goosebumps.

Vil hooked a finger beneath her chin and pulled her forward into a slow, syrupy kiss. His tongue traced steadily along hers, lining her teeth, pricking her canines, twining round and round until she was easing back against him with a soft sigh.

“There you are, kitten” he hummed, pulling back with a thin, sticky trail of saliva—keeping close enough that it didn’t have quite enough stretch to snap and break between them. He cupped her cheeks between his palms and Saya did her best to ignore the stripe of thick, slippery wetness that rubbed along her skin. “I think we’ve teased you enough for one night, don’t you?”

She nodded, still a bit too shivery and teary-eyed. Trembling like a leaf in the wind. And Vil leaned forward with a sweet coo to offer her another kiss.

“Do you still want this, darling?”

Another nod. One that she probably would have offered even without a Truth Potion coursing through her veins. Because, yes. It was a lot. But—but that was the whole point, wasn’t it? And Rook was still a bit, well, himself. And Saya still felt like he was two steps away from sinking his teeth into her throat and never letting go. But she trusted Vil to stay the Hunter’s hand—to keep them both in line. So she twisted her fingers through his own, finely manicured ones and leaned forward to press a soft, tremulous kiss to the underside of his jaw.

“There’s my good girl,” Vil hummed, an indulgent, little smile curling his red lips. “Now, how to best go about this…”

Manicured fingers rose to clasp firmly along the line of her shoulders, and then Vil was easing her back flat against the mattress. Her head landed with a soft ‘thump’ against Rook’s thighs, and immediately the hunter’s hands were curling into the loose waves of her hair, raking his nails along her scalp until she was shivering all over again. Vil slid his palms down along her sides to cup under her rear and raise her hips off the pooling, silk sheets. One curved further along her lower back to keep her aloft, and the other ran down her legs one at a time, hooking one calf around his waist and then the other.

He shifted forward on his knees until he was looming over her and ducked down to press another deep, breath-stealing kiss into her lips. And then he was rocking forward and slipping in slow and smooth. Saya whined against his mouth and he nipped softly at lower her lip in reprimand.

“Relax, kitten.”

She whined again and tried to shift her hips to better accommodate the familiar stretch, but Vil dug his fingers into her side to keep her firmly in place, tapping one, painted nail against the dip in her waist like a reprimand. She stilled under that firm grip all at once and Rook trilled something enthusiastic and saccharine sweet in her ear.

“Si bien entraîné,” he cooed, peppering kisses all along the curve of her jaw, up her cheek, along the bridge of her nose. “Si adorable,” another wave of pecks along her forehead. “Tu le prends si bien, favori.”

Saya scrunched her nose beneath the endless press of fluttering lips, ticklish, and Rook laughed—bright and fond. He leaned in closer to run the broad flat of his tongue along her lips instead and Saya fought a complaint, because that would just open her mouth up to the rest of him. And going by the spark darkening that emerald leer of his, that was exactly what he was hoping for.

Vil shooed the hunter away with an exasperated wave of his hand and shifted his palms back along the dip in her spine.

“Up, darling.”

He rolled back onto his knees and Saya shifted obediently alongside him—letting herself be swooped up from the long, lean sprawl and into his lap. She wobbled a bit and dug her teeth into her lip to focus on keeping her balance. It was an odd sort of position. Normally when Vil settled her in his lap, she was flush with his thighs. Pressed core to core so that he could grind her down along his length and whisper terrible things into her ear that made her melt. Now, she was situated far further up—sticky clit bumping against the firm muscles of his stomach and thighs shivering into an arch. Like trying to hold a rising trot on a horse.  

Vil ran a soothing hand up and down her trembling sides.

“Good girl, doing so lovely for us” he hummed, pressing her closer and encouraging her to grind low, slow circles against his abdomen. Saya fought a shiver and bit her lip harder. “Stay just like this, hmm?”

She nodded, jittery but determined, and he smiled indulgently against her throat.

Amethyst eyes flashed towards their guest and Vil dipped his chin—an order. And then Rook was draping himself along her back once more, hands curling around to knead and pinch along her chest like he couldn’t help himself. Squeezing handfuls of soft, squishy flesh between his palms, rolling pink peaks between his fingers in sharp, overenthusiastic twists, and panting near-indiscernible obscenities into her neck all the while. Vil shuffled them around until they were situated to his liking, smacking at Rook’s limbs whenever the hunter tried to readjust himself or slip too close too soon. Two sets of hands dug themselves into her hips, and Saya could feel the hot, blunt press of Rook at her back like a brand. He sighed, whimsical, against her shoulders and rutted short, aborted thrusts against her rear—leaving smears of tacky, warm precum in his wake like a signature. Saya could feel it cooling in sticky trails all along her skin, but Rook seemed more than merry with the idea of letting it pool there, thick and messy, until they were stuck together at the hip from it.

She was still pressed up at that awkward angle, still rubbing those soft, wet, maddening circles right where Vil had told her to. And even though her thighs were really starting to ache, Saya realized oh. Like this, Rook could drive right up into her, couldn’t he? They both could. And then, after she was wrapped up between them like a lock and key, they would be able to pass her back and forth so easily, and—

Vil rocked up into her in one quick, sharp thrust and Saya’s attention was immediately snapping back to him on a high-pitched keen.   

“Focus, kitten,” he chastised. “Just for this part, at the very least. So that we can make sure everything’s going the way it should. And,” he pressed, flicking at her nose, “because you will be telling us if anything hurts. Understood?”

The potion popped in her mouth with a vengeance, and she found herself pouting, “But I like when it—"

Vil nipped at her lips to stop the words in their tracks, but Rook was already gasping delightedly in her ear.

“You know what I mean, sweetheart,” he chuffed, amused.

The House Warden propped his chin against her shoulder to press a wet, lingering kiss beneath her ear. And with his teeth still scraping against her skin, he canted his head back to shoot Rook the coldest, sharpest look she’d ever seen him level at the hunter in their bed.

“She’s small,” Vil said, like a warning. But there was something else there too, underlying. Something curling, and dark, and possessive that Saya wasn’t really sure what to make of. “So you need to be careful.”

She couldn’t see Rook’s reaction from over her shoulder, but whatever stare down they were locked in felt like it dragged on for an age. And then, finally, Vil was relaxing against her with a nod and drawing the both of them back into the little cradle of limbs he’d so deftly constructed.  

“Go on then,” he ordered, in the same, haughty tone he might use for making demands of an unruly student. “She’s waiting.”

“A crime I shall never be able to repent for,” Rook crooned, and then dug his fingers along Saya’s hips until she was carefully arching away from Vil’s with a soft hiss.

It was a bit of an awkward balancing act at first—trying to keep herself from tipping too far forward or too far back. To keep Vil between her legs without slipping off entirely while also bowing her spine enough to give Rook the access he needed. He panted along her shoulder, biting and licking as he went in a way that made her think of rabbits and predators all over again. She could feel the steady, blunt pressure of him as he rocked forward bit by bit. Careful, just like Vil had demanded he be. Saya shifted against the strain in her legs and gave a tentative swivel of her hips, trying to coax him into seating himself deeper. And, naturally, Vil was there in an instant to nip admonishingly at her throat and tighten his grip until she kept herself still once more.

“Be patient, kitten.”

I am being patient, she wanted to whine back, but in that moment, Rook hit a point where the resistance seemed to give way all at once, and she was sliding all the way down against the both of them with a noise like the air had been knocked straight out of her lungs.

Vil groaned, low and punched out, against her neck, and Rook hissed from behind his teeth.

“Si serrée,” he gasped, hips rabbiting up fast—once, twice—like he couldn’t help himself, and Vil snapped something under his breath that Saya was too out of her wits to make sense of. Because it was so, so much. So tight, and hot, and the pressure was just, so, so—

She panted around them and dug her nails into Vil’s shoulders hard, hard, hard. He didn’t even flinch.

“Alright?” he asked after a moment, mouthing gently at the hollow below her collarbone as he glanced up at her from beneath heavy lashes.

“Mmhmm,” she nodded, jerkily, dizzily.

“Nothing painful?” he coaxed, and Saya shook her head until her hair was flying around her cheeks. The pressure and the tight, tight, tight, tight of it was almost too much to bear. Teetering precariously along that ledge of ‘too much.’ But it was also so, so good—

“It feels—”

“Go on,” Rook teased, voice a bit tremulous and breathy, and she could feel the words slither along the shell of her ear. Vil shushed him sharply and then pressed another encouraging kiss to her throat.

“Don’t mind him, darling. When you’re ready.”

“It’s nice?” she managed to choke out, when Vil shifted a bit at her front and it sent a tidal wave of all sorts of unfamiliar pressure through the rest of her. Lovely, and full, and different, and—

“Ah, avez-vous entendu que, mon reine?” the hunter tutted. “We are but ‘nice.’ That doesn’t sound like much of a resounding success, no?”

“No,” Vil hummed on a wry sort of agreement that sounded like nothing but trouble. He shifted again, giving an experimental rut of his hips as he did so that had all three of them shivering on a moan. “Not exactly a ringing endorsement. How unfortunate.”

“Very nice?” Saya spluttered out frantically.

“Oh, come now!” Rook mewed, and she could feel his fingers reaching around to dig into her hips and gently begin to pull her down. “Surely we can do better than that, mon reine.”

“Surely,” he echoed, gaze flitting pointedly over her shoulder to whatever expression was curling over their guest’s face. Vil’s eyes narrowed again, but that swimming, dark something from before was absent. Now, it just looked like a challenge. Saya could feel Rook’s smile widen against her cheek. “Keep to my rhythm,” Vil demanded, giving another sharp, deep, push that had Saya dipping back on a gasp. Rook chirped in delight.

“I will, as always, endeavor to follow your lead in all things, mon reine,” he trilled, letting his own hips jump forward in response. It was too hard, too quick, and Saya yelped when the force of it nearly toppled her out of both of their laps.

“Rook.”

“Apologies, apologies,” the hunter cooed, giving another, gentler thrust. “I was too eager, I’m afraid.”

Vil huffed under his breath and then started up his own, measured grind. He twined his fingers along Saya’s hips and pulled her down at each upward press. Meeting his thrusts in time so that they struck long, and deep, and hard along all the familiar, sensitive places that he knew far too well. It took a moment for Rook to match it—to push in as Vil eased out. To rut just hard enough to have her whining and gasping but not squeaking in discomfort. And Saya was dying. The press of the two of them was so, so much. She felt out of her skin—like her pulse was a match to the pressures in her belly and those alone. She raked her nails down Vil’s back until he was hissing with it and Rook trilled in delight.

“Next time,” he sighed, dreamy, and stuttered on a thrust. “Ah, la merveille de sentir tes griffes dans ma peau,” he crooned. He bit at her throat, hard, and Saya choked on a squeak. “What I wouldn’t give—”

“Focus, Rook,” Vil snorted, reaching a hand down between them to rub tight circles against Saya’s clit until she was shivering.

“Ah, désolé, désolé,” the Vice Warden chirped, and then drove up hard enough to nearly send her sprawling all over again. But this time he kept his fingers firm around her waist, hauling her down against the pair of them just as sharply. And Saya keened.

Vil didn’t even bother to chastise him this time, his own head falling back on a startled grunt at the tight, tight heat—his hips catching on the slick drag of it and nearly tugging him under. He dug his fingers in alongside Rook’s and pulled her down harsher. Until Saya was hiccupping on every thrust and panting desperate, whiny sentiments against his shoulder. That curling, clawing warmth in her gut spiraled higher, and Vil’s eyes caught on hers like a shark scenting blood in the water.

“Almost there, kitten?” he breathed against her cheek, wet and fast. “We do have an audience this, time, don’t we?” he cooed, pupils pulsing so wide and blown that they nearly swallowed the amethyst there in its entirety. “So we’re going to have to make it count.”

And then his fingers were working over her clit in earnest and Saya squealed.

“Vil—”

“Louder.”

She gulped, nearly choking on air, and that potion bubbled in her veins like a promise.

“Vil.”

“Can’t hear you, darling.” Which was absolutely rich, coming for the man currently pushing words past his throat like he trying not to gasp for breath. Like every other sound coming out of him wasn’t some airy, punched-out groan.

“Vil—"

“You can do better than that, kitten.”

Saya’s very rightful complaint broke into a squawk when Rook drove up harder. When the two of them met in the middle in perfect sync—in a perfect, terrible pressure that was far too much. And she wanted to scream, and scream, and—

“That’s it, darling.”

Saya wailed, tucking herself tight against Vil’s chest like she could crawl inside him if she pushed hard enough. That she could live there forever alongside the staccato thump thump thump of his heart at her front, and Rook’s at her back, and—

The spring snapped and Saya was tumbling over the edge all at once. Rook moaned, low and long, from over her shoulder and Vil cursed under his breath. Both sets of hips stuttered at the tight, tight clench and then, as she was still trembling, and panting, and seeing stars, Vil groaned and released deep inside her in a familiar, wet, wave of heat. Rook followed not a moment after, sighing, and gasping, and pushing forward as far as he could go.

It took a long, long time for her to come down. And even after that, Saya was still shaking, and shivery, and far too oversensitive. Rook shifted at her back—still tucked up as deep inside as he could manage. Still wet, and warm, and heavy—and she winced at the tender sting of it. Vil’s lips traced a soft, sweet pattern against her temple, murmuring reassurances that she still wasn’t quite in the right mind to make sense of, and then he was gently easing her off the both of them and back down towards the sheets. Carefully, carefully. Saya’s thighs throbbed, and then the rest of her gave an answering, sore flinch. All the way down to the core of her. She was sticky, and aching, and there was a pool of white, tacky, wetness cooling between her legs that she could feel trailing down, down, down. She shifted with another flinch, hoping to take some of the pressure off her hips, and Vil’s hands reached down to slot a pillow beneath her lower back.

“There you are, darling,” Vil hummed, tucking her gently between the pair of them so she could curl up into his side, mess be damned. Rook draped himself delicately along her back, rubbing circles into the bruises by her hips and cooing soft, low sentiments into her hair. “You did so well, sweetheart.”

Saya grumbled something drunkenly incoherent into his chest and Vil chuffed in amusement against her flushed cheeks.

“Une prestation magistrale,” Rook encouraged, still a bit warbly, a bit breathless, and licked a long, lazy line over the sweat beading along her skin. “Truly, I have never witnessed such perfection in human form, mon coeur.”

Saya’s head lolled forward on another, soft hiccup and she snuggled in tighter—embarrassed. Limbs loose and shivering.

Vil’s hand trailed up and down her arm in slow, measured strokes.

“Too much?” he coaxed, concerned, and Saya managed to shake her head until he was laughing at her under his breath. “Ah. Just enough then, I suppose.”

She took a moment to just breathe—to take in the familiar scents of Vil’s lingering cologne, the soft, floral breeze of his shampoo, the lavender musk that was just him. And overlaid amidst all that cozy comfort was the smell of cypress and pine. Of ozone, and leather, and sprawling forests. Saya scrunched her nose nervously against Vil’s collarbone for a moment, taking in another few, deep breaths to steady herself. And then she turned back onto her side, wincing all the while. The hands at her hips faltered, and with careful, cautious movements, she managed to flop all the way over without squeaking even once.

Saya peeked up at Rook from beneath her golden lashes, nervous. And then slowly, hesitantly, she leaned forward to press a quick kiss to his cheek.

“Uhm…” she spluttered, quickly averting her gaze and ears going pink in chagrin. Despite how innocent it was in comparison to all the things that they’d just done—what they’d done to her. “…Thank you.”

And then she was ducking back into the safety of Vil’s arms far too quickly, wheezing in discomfort when it tugged at muscles she didn’t even know could ache. She burrowed back into his chest with a sniffly little whine that was far too teary for her pride to admit, and Vil was immediately back to cooing and carding his fingers through her hair.

The House Warden smiled into her mused locks for a moment longer before letting his sharp gaze dart back to the hunter sprawled out beside them.

Rook had a hand delicately raised to his cheek, as if he could trace the imprint of Saya’s kiss with his fingertips alone. His green eyes had gone wide with surprise, and there was a strange, curling, spark blooming in them that Vil knew far too well.

“Oh,” Rook whispered, sounding choked. Like his heart had grown enough to swell past the cage of his chest, to press hard and welcoming against his airway like it couldn’t help itself. Ready to steal the last breath it could. Ready to take it willingly.  

Vil snorted into Saya’s hair and let her press herself in an exhausted puddle along his side, right where she was always meant to be. He closed his eyes, feeling the pleasant, sore twinges in his own muscles as he settled back against the pillows. A moment passed in silence, and then another. And then, predictably, Vil could hear the soft shft of Rook slipping closer along the mattress—feel the dip along Saya’s hips as the hunter draped himself over her back like a cloak.

Saya stiffened for a moment in surprise, but then was slipping back into sleep between one, soft breath and the next. Vil tucked himself against her nape and felt the brush of Rook’s hands as he reached forward to clutch at the teeny, shivering blonde between them like a lifeline. Vil sighed again and let himself be lulled into a dreamless doze alongside her.

They could discuss the future another time. 

.

.

#twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland #twst x OC #Vil Schoenheit x OC #Vil x OC #Rook Hunt x OC #Vil x Rook x OC #vil schoenheit #Rook Hunt #My Writing

[indecenthoney]

Is it weird that I wanna watch?

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Okay, hear me out! I'm sure any guy has had a lucky pervert fantasy of walking into their "girl" friend touching herself and it leading to something heated. But like what if I just wanted to watch? I think it's a lot hotter not doing anything in the moment. Let me play it out for you.

"Hey... Sorry to barge in but have you seen the... Oh shit... Sorry... sorry... I didn't know you were... doing that... I was just gonna ask if you've seen the package... Uhm you... okay? Fuck me you're really flushed... Different question... Do you mind if I watch...? You heard me! Let me watch... I promise I won't touch you... I just wanna watch... and I mean your pent up right now aren't you? I bet you wanna touch yourself so bad right now... It's funny... C'mon I won't bite... unless you want me to... I'm kidding Im kidding... Fine just let me see your facial expressions... You can cover up and do it under the sheets... It's getting unbearable, isn't it? Ill just talk your head off until you give in... So? What will it be? Sweet... and I'll be right here I promise... Just going to watch..."

People give in pretty quickly when pent up. If you really loved your friend then you'd guide them through a session. What are friends for?

"It's nothing... You're making a really slutty face just now... what are you being so slow for? Just a minute ago you were moaning into your pillow finger fucking yourself silly... No need to be reserved... pretend I'm not even here... That's it... Slick your needy cunt to your hearts content... Does it feel good, sweetie? Fucking yourself for me? Oh? Someone's getting excited... Do you like it when I talk to you like this? Hm? Talking down on you like a bitch in heat... so desperate to get off that you're doing it in front me? Yeah I did ask... but you're so quick to give in... like you wanted me to watch... No? You may be covered up but I can hear how fucking wet you are... such naughty sounds... "

It suchs a treat to see them get off on my words. Slowly making them brainless for me to slip in a little command that'll push them over the edge.

"That's it, sweetie... You're doing so good for me... Yeah? Yeah? It feels good, right? You're eyes are even rolling back... Are you close? C'mon sweetie... keep your eyes locked to mine... Imagine my cock sliding into you ramming my thick hard cock... kissing the entrance of your womb each time I pound into you..."

The sight of her desperately chasing her orgasm is quite the show. Being watched is already a lot for a person but to be touched when I promised not to. It'll send them over the edge.

"That's it, sweetie... Keep rubbing yourself stupid for me... Open wide for me, ya? It's okay... It's okay... I'm just going to help you a little... There we go... lick my fingers... such a pretty little mouth... so lonely... I thought you needed something to fill it... relax relax... let me trace your tongue with my finger... That's a good girl... Don't worry about the mess... We'll get you cleaned up... Fuck me... you're salivating like a mutt... Just a little longer... let me admire you... Good girl... Thank you for waiting... You can suck on my fingers again..."

Completely entranced by the pleasure losing all sense of shame and morality. Sucking and fucking herself silly. Pumping my fingers into her mouth as if she's sucking my cock. And then pulling away when she least expects it leaving her empty and confused. Only to be greeted with another sense of pleasure as I gently slide my thick fingers into her tight cunt.

"You can fight it as much as you want but ypur body will always tell the truth...and truth be told... you want this... your tight cunt squeezing onto my fingers... Oh? You're going to cum? And here I thought you hated me... Say sorry and I'll let you cum... What was that? You can do better than that sweetie... Too brainless to speak... fine... let me make it easier for you... I can stop and leave you be or... I cam stay and help you... and all you have to do is lick my fingers... Mhm... Taste yourself on my fingers princess... What will it be? That's a good girl..."

I'll have so much fun toying with her from now on. Playfully fingering her whenever I please. And she knows deep down that it feels too damn good to resist. All because she let me watch <3

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In your head,

Honey

#cnc k!nk #corruption kink #degrading k1nk #cnc free use #humiliation kink #edging and denial #praise k!nk #praise and degredation #nsft story #degredation kink #dumbification #dumb wh0re #risquéhoney

[wonton4rang]

Can you write about Taesan being jealous ( but he's not your bf ) pls understand what I mean TT

i gotcha! or at least i think i did :') (and i really hope i did)

warnings; toxic behaviour, usage of taesan's real name (han dongmin), kissing. mentions of leehan.

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tbh taesan doesn't seems like the jealous type, i mean, c'mon WHY in the world would HE be jealous? he's so handsome and secure about himself that i can't see him being actually jealous over stupid things. not even serious stuff, he would just get kinda mad/ offended and confront you directly, asking you what's going on before jumping into any conclusions.

so you just know something's not right when he directly asks "why were you with leehan? you know how late it was? you shouldn't be out with boys that late at night" you first did not follow what he meant because it didn't make any sense, why was taesan out of all people questioning who you hanged out with or at what time you did it.

"we met up to watch a movie at his place but how did you even knew about that?" taesan clicked his tongue while he looked away from your questioning gaze, running his fingers through his hair before facing you again, "why shouldn't i know? is there anything you don't want me to know?" well what the fuck was he thinking.

you did not have anything against leehan but did taesan really thought you liked him? he was definitely not your type, and you thought your closest friend in college taesan would know that.

"why are you acting like this? did i do something to you?" but this was not flowing as a conversation when all you guys did was make question after question.

"do you like him? you should know he likes danielle"

"and i don't give a single fuck, dongmin, i'm pretty sure he likes her by the way he wouldn't stop babbling about it last night"

taesan was getting icky with the way you mentioned leehan: 'last night', 'at his place', 'why are you acting like this?' did you really have to ask? his eyebrows were so frowned and you could tell that he was thinking so hard about his next words, the way he opened his mouth and closed it again giving you the feeling of expectation he shattered when he finally spoke "i don't think you should be meeting him at his place, not that late, and specially not just the two of you. and before you excuse yourself by saying he likes danielle, that does not mean anything to a boy" he looked down on you a few times before he laughed a bit, looking around and thinking about how comical you may think this situation was.

because it was comically stupid, he was not even your boyfriend, he had a thing for you and even though he was very secure about his appearance, it was not on his plans to loose you if you didn't like him back for any reason. so he just stayed there, putting himself in the friendzone everyone frenetically wants to escape just so he could keep you close.

"aren't you going to say anything?" dongmin clapped back and you finally came back to your senses, this time you were the one laughing, crossing your arms in top of your chest and tilting your head.

"i really don't know what to say. but do you have anything to say to me?" at this point you knew, there has to be something behind his words, you needed to open your eyes and understand that taesan was NOT the type to be this direct, this talkative, this touchy, this friendly, he was not the type to carry your backpack when you were tired or buy you food just because you said it looked good, he was not the type to make random jokes and help you out with homework at his place while he looked at you with so much admiration that you could physically feel his gaze.

and he definitely was not the jealous type of person that would make this type of scenes just because you were their friend and they were worried about you going out too late to a boy's dorm.

"i just don't want you to see him again, can't you do those things with me? is it so hard?" you just denied with your head, running a hand through your hair before closing your eyes and letting a sigh out.

"you know you can just tell me if you wanna hang out with me, but as you never did i-"

"that doesn't mean i want you to hang out with other boys" he quickly stopped your words 'i just don't trust myself around you' were his next words, he couldn't hold himself from wanting to kiss you lately, but he stopped beforehand, just letting out a complain before grabbing his bag from the floor of your dorm and making his way to the door "don't mind me, i'm sorry if i made you feel uncomfortable, i'll just go. goodnight"

but what taesan did not expect was your hand grabbing his black jacket and pulling down to make him stop, he looked at you, his back still facing you, his hand around the doornob and his eyes looking so sad yet expecting that it just made you feel some type of way that led you to say "can you stay the night?" he finally turned around to face you, looking so shocked and confused as he could be "i mean is late and i wouldn't mind some company"

"if that's the case then i think i should keep you company, right?" a smile ran through his lips, his eyes looking so bright and that little blush in his cheeks making him look like the most adorable boy you've ever seen, you looked down to notice you were still holding his jacket and instead of letting it go you just pulled him closer, both of your chests collapsing together and you could feel his breath growing faster and more nervous each second that went by.

and you really didn't know what you were thinking when you leaned forward and brushed your lips together as a form of asking for permission, permission that was granted when taesan quickly joined your lips in a sweet kiss, sweeter than you ever expected, specially with the recent argument you guys had, but it was better than anything you could've imagined.

he was so soft, so good at making your legs weak with a slow and warm kiss, his tongue poking your bottom lip and his right hand going up to your hair to get you closer to him, you stumbling with your own feet at the action but being carefully held by his other hand grabbing your waist after his bag fell to the ground. the kiss went on for a few more seconds, almost a minute, before you two pulled apart, you trying to look him in the eyes but he just looked at the ground because he was so ashamed :(

"dongmin?"

"you know i like you, right?" you just nodded when he looked up "well fuck, what gave me up?" you laughed, it was funny because you just realized during your kiss about his feelings, no one ever kissed you that way, with so much care and softness, he was so lovely that you just knew.

"your kiss was really sweet, you know?" and it was his turn to laugh, just looking back to the ground and then facing you to ask "so, what now?"

"well, you are staying the night, we can talk about it"

"we can't be friends after this, i can't, y/n"

"i never said we'll be friends"

and the night just went on, jealousy forgotten long ago and you two cuddling in the couch while you watched a random movie but it was truly just you two kissing all night :((

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

this is my first taesan ask!! tysm, i hope y'all enjoyed 🫶

#boynextdoor imagines #boynextdoor scenarios #boynextdoor smut #boynextdoor x reader #taesan #taesan x reader #taesan smut #leehan x reader #leehan smut

[stephstars08]

Drunk Mishap

Ethan Landry x Reader

Warnings: Minor Adult Language, Trust Issues, Cheating Mentioned, Alcohol, Drunk!Reader, Ethan Helps Reader Change Into Different Clothes, Some Sexual References, Anxiety, Reader Has Panic Attack, Insecurities, And Possible Grammar Errors. (Sorry If I Forgot Any!)

Summary: Y/N has feelings for Ethan but she’s too scared to tell him how she feels due to her past relationships. However, one drunken night changes that.

Word Count: 1,717

Author’s Note: Sorry it took me so long to post this. I just hadn’t gotten the energy to type this up. Also something always comes up that just takes up all my energy or attention. Sorry this is a little chaotic, I was rushing with this one so trust me it’s not perfect but at least I got something posted!

Three months ago Y/N met a boy named Ethan Landry. Y/N goes to Blackmore University in New York City. Her major is film since she wants to be a director. That’s how Y/N met Ethan’s roommate sister named Mindy since they share many classes together. Y/N really connected with Mindy so that’s how she got into the friend group that of course featured Ethan but also featured Mindy’s twin brother Chad, Mindy’s girlfriend Anika, and Tara who has been best friends with Chad and Mindy ever since they were kids. Once in a while Tara and her older sister’s roommate named Quinn would hang out with the group, too.

Y/N fit in perfectly with the friend group but right when she laid eyes on Ethan something just struck her. When her eyes met his brown eyes she just felt something shoot through her body and the feeling was something she had never felt before. As time went on the more Y/N was around Ethan the more she felt those butterflies fly around in her stomach. Y/N knew that she was growing feelings for Ethan because all he had to do is look at her and her heart rate would speed up. Y/N feels like Ethan feels the same way about her since he flirts with her but due to Y/N’a insecurities and trust issues she’s too scared to tell Ethan how she feels.

Y/N’s last two relationships ended with her getting her heartbroken due to her former boyfriend’s cheating on her with someone else. Even though Y/N knows that Ethan is nothing like her two time cheating exes, that tiny bit of doubt just over powers her positive thoughts. Mindy, Tara, and Anika know about Y/N’s feelings for Ethan but she just denies it and brushes them off. They don’t know about Y/N’s trust issues since she doesn’t talk about her past relationships since they just bring up bad memories. When she thinks about the past it makes her feel all that heartbreak all over again.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

It was a Friday night so of course that meant Y/N is at a college party with the friend group. Y/N was so happy to have a night out since she had been so stressed out due to her classes. Right when Y/N walked through the door of the frat house she immediately started taking shots. Y/N was already drunk after just being at the party for an hour. Ethan didn’t even know that Y/N was completely wasted till Tara came and got him and showed him her. Tara, Mindy, and Anika had been trying to convince Y/N to let them take her back to her dorm but she just brushed them off. That’s why Tara got Ethan since the girls are hoping that Y/N will listen to Ethan and let him take her back to her dorm. Ethan made his way over to Y/N.

“Y/N, I think it’s time for you to call it a night.” Ethan told her. “But I’m just getting started.” Y/N told him with annoyance in her voice. No one has seen Y/N get this drunk before. She’s gotten drunk before at parties like this but at least she was still aware of her surroundings. Y/N went to walk past Ethan but she tripped over her own foot. Ethan quickly grabbed her so she wouldn’t fall face first onto the hard wood floor. “Y/N, you can’t even walk.” Ethan told her. “I’m fine.” Y/N told him. “No, you’re not fucking fine!” Ethan told her in a stern tone putting his foot down. “You need to go lay down so please let me take you back to your dorm.” Ethan added. Y/N just stared at him since half of her wants to stay and the other half says she needs to go back to her dorm. “I don’t want something bad to happen to you.” Ethan told her with concern in his voice. Once Y/N noticed the worry look in Ethan’s brown eyes she knew he was right so she gave him a nod telling him he can walk her back to dorm.

Ethan let the girls know that he’s going to take Y/N back to her dorm and told them to let Chad know what he’s going to do just in case he comes looking for him. Ethan walked Y/N out of the noisy frat house. As they walked together to her single dorm room Ethan had one of his arms wrapped around her waist so that she doesn’t lose her balance or trip over her feet or something else. Even drunk Y/N is still feeling the butterflies in her stomach go crazy by Ethan’s arm around her waist.

They walked inside the building Y/N’s dorm is in and walked down the hallway to her door. Y/N has a dorm all to herself. Y/N pulled her keys out her pocket and tried to unlock her door. “Do you want my help?” Ethan asked which made her let out a groan of frustration. “Yes.” Y/N said handing him over the keys. Ethan let go of Y/N’s waist and unlocked the door. After he opened the door he let Y/N walk inside the dorm and then he followed her. Ethan put her keys down onto the dresser right next to the door and closed the door shut.

“Do you um need me to help you get changed into something more comfortable?” Ethan asked her with a hint of nervousness in his voice. “Oh, yeah could you. It probably be easier.” Y/N said with a sigh. She was already feeling sleepy. “Yeah, yeah um of course.” Ethan said trying to shake off all his nerves. He walked over to her dresser and pulled out a t-shirt and sweatpants. When Ethan walked over to her bed and set the clothes down onto it he could feel his heart racing so he took a deep and calming breath. He was hoping Y/N didn’t notice his nervousness. Ethan helped Y/N get out of the clothes she was wearing and into the t-shirt and sweatpants. Every time Y/N felt Ethan’s hands brush against her bare skin she would get goosebumps along her skin.

After Y/N was fully changed Ethan helped her get tucked into her bed. He could see the tiredness in her eyes. “There all comfy.” Ethan said after he draped her blanket on top of her body. “Thank you for taking care of me.” Y/N told him. “It’s no problem Y/N.” Ethan told her with a reassuring smile. “You’re so sweet. No wonder I have feelings for you.” Y/N just blurted out in a tired voice. When she said that Ethan’s whole body went into shock.

Did he hear her right? He was at war with his thoughts. Was what she just said true. He knows she’s completely wasted and tired. When Ethan finally came up with something to say Y/N was already asleep.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

When Y/N woke up the next morning her head felt like it was hit by a baseball bat. She lazily got out of her bed and took some medicine to relieve the pain she felt in her head. Y/N has no memory of the night before. She just remembers showing up to the party and taking shots. After that it was all just a blur. She doesn’t even remember how she got back to her dorm. Y/N was about to call Mindy so she could recap the night there was a knock at the door. Y/N walked over to her door and opened it to see Ethan standing there. “Hey.” Ethan said in a soft tone with a small smile. “Hi, um what are you doing here?” Y/N said obviously surprised to see him. He usually calls or texts her before coming to her dorm. “I wanted to stop by and see how you are feeling.” Ethan told her. “Can I come in?” He asked her in a curious tone. “Oh, yeah sure.” Y/N said stepping to the side so he could walk in. Once Ethan was inside her dorm she shut the door.

“I’m guessing you were the one that took care of my stupid drunken ass.” Y/N said with a sight turning around to face him. Ethan gave her a nod. “Do you remember anything that happened last night?” Ethan asked her. “Last thing I remember is drinking my fifth shot of vodka.” Y/N answered him. “Ethan, did I do or say something last night?” Y/N asked sensing something going on. “After I got you into your bed you told me that you have feelings for me.” Ethan told her which made her heart drop to her stomach. “Oh my fucking gosh.” Y/N said with panic quickly taking over her body. She ran both of her hands through her hair. “Were you telling the truth or was it just the alcohol?” Ethan asked her. That question has been going through his head ever since last night. When he woke up this morning he knew he needed to know the answer to that question. “No, it wasn’t the alcohol.” Y/N answered knowing she can’t hide the truth no more.

“I know I should’ve told you but I let my stupid fucking trust issues get in the way of me telling you.” Y/N told him with frustration in her voice. Before Ethan could say anything she spoke again. “And I know you are not like my ex’s who are complete dicks but I just couldn’t get those fucking negative thoughts out my head.” Y/N told him. Ethan knew she was starting to have a panic attack so he walked closer to her and connected his lips with her lips. Y/N was surprised by the kiss but eventually returned the kiss. All of the panic she felt going through her body quickly melted away. They released from the long awaited kiss so they could catch their breaths.

“I have feelings for you, too.” Ethan confessed to her. “We can take it slow if you want to. I know it’s hard to get past infidelity.” Ethan told her as he put one of his hands onto her cheek which made her lean into his soft and comforting touch. She always feels comfort by his touch. “We can take it slow.” Y/N told him with a soft smile.

#ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry fluff #ethan landry x y/n #ethan landry x you #ethan landry x fem!reader #Ethan Landry x female!reader #non-gf!ethan Landry #non-gf!ethan landry x reader #ethan landry imagine #Ethan landry one shot #ethan landry oneshot #ethan kirsch #scream franchise #scream vi #scream iv #scream 6 #scream characters #scream fanfic #scream fanfiction #scream fandom #scream x reader #scream x you #scream x yn #scream x y/n #scream x female!reader #scream x fem!reader #jack champion #Jack champion x reader #Jack champion fluff

[transmascutena]

thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder

#akio and utena #m #long ramble in the tags sorry: #the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human #he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims #he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry. #and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios #(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think. #like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her #i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing #not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that. #and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did #but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her? #whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway #idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims #the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it? #how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions. #(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive #but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.) #when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her #but is there something genuine there too? i don't know. #again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me. #on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had #reflected back at him through her mean anything? #is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid. #either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over. #i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways) #but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly #wants you to analyze and think about. #which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.

[penisbilt]

the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now

#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL #really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us #ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great #extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore #the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog #its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow #i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating #i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one #i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it #theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget #anyway. anyway. #our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by #there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!' #we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad #cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now #maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that #im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away #ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free #i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20 #i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her #but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more #maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know #because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before #i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years #i dunno. i dont know #anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process #the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months #the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time #when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move #just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend

[atlas-five]

thinking about helen distortion again

#something i really love about her is how different she is from michael #cuz like. michael was forced into being the distortion (and vice versa ofc) #but helen found her way into it on her own #no help no map nothing like that #she just did #and she embodies more of the direct lying of the distortion more than michael did (from what we are shown anyways) #so i wonder how much of her life she spent lying to herself and/or the world #that convo she has w jon in the tunnels sticks out to me especially cuz shes like #“yeah. realized i wasnt going to stop eating people so i stopped caring” #did michael have the same feeling? part of me thinks no not really #at least not in the same way #michael as the distortion always describes himself w such contempt #he didn't want to be michael. and i don't think michael wanted to be the distortion either #i wonder how much helen denied what she was before just accepting it #cuz she doesnt really seem to have any of the same self hatred as michael #maybe becoming helen gave it back its purpose #maybe bcuz it happened “naturally” (finding her way into being the distortion) instead of having someone forced into it #here i go rambling again #helen distortion #sidenote but I do wish that bith distortions got more fucked up laughing in tbh #the sound makes me brain buzz /pos

[welcometogrouchland]

Strategizing my silly show rewatches to see what will produce The Most Emotion in me. And then soundly debating on whether or not that's actually a good idea

#ramblings of a lunatic #I probably think abt this too hard. thats the tism for you! #I'm gonna finish frog show 1b and then probably rewatch some of the willow and amity centric eps of s1 #before starting 2A (but also i might rewatch eclipse lake AGAIN bc i watched it today and got reminded of how good it is- #-and then paused to be like. but what if i enhanced the experience even more) #the willow eps rewatch is in prep to rewatch asias (HELLO FAV EPPY SODE!!!) and as a treat to myself cause i love her- #-and theres so little of her in 2A (willow fans were genuinely the strongest ppl during this time. gus fans 2 but at least they got ttlgr) #BUT I ALSO LOVE AMITY she occasionally posseses my brain but not often! i normally leave the Amity scholarship to others on here #(namely eliot yardsards and smokey smokestarrule bc they have elevated amity opinions) #but i wanna study her like a bug myself sometimes!! eclipse lake reminded me of that. she's not well!!! #plus with some s1 eps back under my belt the blow of how fucking brutal s2B of the owl show is might be somewhat softened #it's my fav stretch of the show tho don't get it twisted. i love the slow build of 2A #AND the sheer marvel of quality despite circumstances that is s3 specials #and yes even the silliest of s1 eps #but 2B is just unbeatable to me personally. best emotions associated with it #but I am finishing s1 of frog show before i get to do All That #and then i might rewatch the rest of frog show to hold me down til the finale airs #tbh rewatching amphibia and remembering how much i love it and how insane it still makes me gives me comfort in the face of toh ending #just because something's over doesn't mean it stops giving you the same feelings that it did before or that you stop loving it! #obviously I'm hoping for more one day bc of how the show was cut short. i personally really want those comics danas talked about #but the show is still gonna be there when it's done and i can still be insane abt it for however long i want #and that's nice y'know? #oh god this got too sincere #ANYWAY. current watch pattern is going 1B of frog show -> bits of s1 and then 2B of owl show -> 2A frog -> s3 owl #fun times. owls and frogs

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#srry for the continued pause in scribbles ive been feeling not very good at all #idk something just broke in my brain after our last sampling trip idk y bc it wasnt that bad but when i got back #it was just a couple days of my brain being real crazy in terms of thought patterns. it still kinda continues to b like that #but idk i haven't had a session of hysterical crying today so maybe im on the mend. its weird i haven't felt this bad in a really long time #i dont even have the energy to complain about it its just no joy. burned streight thru that. bruned streight thru my desire to draw #i mean i still draw every day but its like shitty i dont have time scribbes bc idk it all feels so fucking pointless. and im terrible at #hiding how i feel abt things so my boss is like: maybe u should take a break this weekend i dont want u to burnout. like. lady we crossed #that bridge way back in March. u r speaking to a ghost. i just. i dont kno if i can stay here until like next july at least if not longer #and it sucks bc i kno someday ill look back and this time in my life will make me real sad bc im laying here choosing to make myself #miserable and i somwhere halfway across the country my mum has tumors growing in her abdomen. and i cant go home for Thanksgiving and idk #how long ill get at Christmas. not bc anyone is telling me i have to stay. my brain just wont let me do things. i just lay here in my #increasingly chaotic apartment not taking the steps to get refunded for travel expenses worrying over deadlines and agonizing over social #interactions. worrying about all the things my brain wont let me do that need to be done and not taking the steps to get better #its stupid and annoying and i know its only going to get worse when i have to start taking measurements in the lab #ive at least been practicing a lot of german tho lmao. someday ill look back like: lol remember when u got super depressed and filled the #void with learning german? literally today my dyslexic read the word albeit as aber and it was v disorienting #idk its just fun and i feel like im at least being productive. so yea idk when ill b able to post scribbles again #but i thought id at least post something while i had the energy i accumulated by taking with a happy Canadian lab group #maybe ill join them in a year idk idk decisions decisions and so many applications the cost of which is trying to dissuade me from #getting a tatt0o :-P ay ay ay live a little! pls i beg u. but no prob not. against the rules #unrelated

[seilon]

just wrote like three paragraphs ranting about my living situation and deleted it just know I am going insane and i hate it here and I need to live by my fucking self or I am going to absolutely fucking lose it

#I can not stand cleaning up shit for people anymore I can’t stand people taking my stuff or messing up shit I clean or organize or whatever #I hate feeling pressured to stay in my room constantly because she almost never fucking leaves and the entire living room/kitchen area is #apparently her fucking home office now. so there’s just nowhere else to go where I’m not forced to interact with her #not to mention how I cleaned out that entire area EXTENSIVELY only a couple months ago and now all of that work is just gone #she re-cluttered it and now it’s a nightmare again :) #and she’s out there in the first place because she clutters her room and desk in her room to such an extent that it’s basically unusable #at least when I had a shitty roommate her mess was confined to one side of a bedroom more or less #and there was a living room/kitchen that wasn’t a fucking nightmare that I could generally control the tidiness of #I can’t fucking live like this I can’t keep cleaning and cleaning and cleaning and throwing away shit and organizing shit and whatever #just to have it all be for NOTHING every fucking time because she takes more shit out and doesnt put it away and buys more shit #that we can’t fucking afford and don’t immediately need and hahaggsgsgshsshshhhshshshshssh #I can’t fucking do it! I really can’t keep doing this it makes me violently angry and one of these days I’m going to snap and break my door #or something #I didn’t even want to move back in here to begin with this was supposed to be temporary. as in only for a couple months #but all my job applications fail and I have no other form of income or support so. haha I’m stuck here #i won’t even get started on just #not wanting to live with her for a million other reasons #I need to get the fuck out of here I do not want to be responsible for cleaning up her messes and doing whatever she says without choice #cause I mean. that’s another thing. At least my roommate couldn’t force me to do whatever she wanted with any resistance being seen as #criminally disrespectful and depending on her wildly unpredictable mood maybe she’ll verbally abuse me or degrade me or accuse me of things #who knows! #also won’t get into the fact that I’m almost two years on t and she still misgenders me and deadnames me and believes she has the right to #do so #kibumblabs #negative #delete later probably.

[space-coupe]

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#okAy so i'm not going to finish writing it i lack the skill n talent but i Must get this out there it's haunting me #i know rpf freaks some ppl out in which case why are u following me i literally made this blog bc i wrote so much goddamn rpf #but anyways. fair warning in advance. n i will delete this once i stop being insane blah blah blah #but god. just obsessed with piarlesteban ideas rn. with charles watching all the alpine stuff we're seeing trickling out now and like #the bittersweet feeling that comes with watching someone you love succeed at the cost of them potentially moving on without you #at least when pierre and esteban weren't talking it wasn't a constant reminder that Technically he's not pierre's oldest friend on the grid #that while he Technically thinks he knows pierre best. he wasnt one of those kids from normandy #is it jealousy? is it fear? is it something else? #after all if he called pierre 'pierrot' on main and started posting tiktoks with how important their friendship is #it would be smth f1 reposts and takes everywhere and makes a situation out of. but esteban can do it naturally. #him not wanting pierre and esteban to fall out again because truly he Does love them both albeit in very different ways because they *did* #all grow up together. but then if they do. he doesn't have to worry about if pierre starts to hesitate more when he's asked who he's #closest to. who his best friend is. doesn't have to worry #plus. plus plus. add in the context of it mirroring /pierre/ feeling like he got left behind while charles #blazed trails in his top team and pierre went back to his junior team who try as they might could never give him that wdc #sorry ive just been listening to smile like you mean it on repeat. and like #and someone is playing a game in the house i grew up in. and someone will drive her around on the same streets that i did #i CAN and i WILL make this about them #esp because im already deep in copium #YO the fact i can edit tags now. fucking SEXY!

[distantwave]

#really think I actually need to find a psychiatrist one of these days #not to quote my shitty roomie but I really don’t have to live like this #I am. doing not as bad as I have at other points. but I am definitely not doing great I would say #like I mean things are fine at the moment. but there’s definitely the edge of a precipice kinda feeling to it #like I do really enjoy my job that’s a really good thing for me actually and I finally found a place to live so that’s excellent but #I do REALLY think I need to get help before I move out. which realistically isn’t going to happen bc it’s less than a month away #but uh. I am. not going to do well on my own admittedly. sure I was practically living on my own the last few months in the last place #just bc no one would speak to me. but there were still other people in the house. I think my potential for getting really bad again is #perhaps going to be alarmingly high if I’m on my own without a roommate or a therapist/physiatrist to figure shit out #I don’t want it to take away how excited I am to live at my new place but I genuinely should not be on my own. like practically I’m fine #it’s mentally I won’t do well with it I think #on a totally different note tho if I did ever end up getting diagnosed with what I think I’ve got going on it opens up a ton of #diners drive ins and dives jokes for me lmaoo #so that’s something I guess lol. but yea anyways idk what to do really. am bad at bridging what I can bring up to people and what I can’t #as that is literally one of the defining reasons my relationship with her fucking crashed and burned. so idk when/what/how much I can #talk about things anymore. went from telling no one anything and it completely ruining my closest friendship. to telling her everything and #it ALSO ruining our friendship. so my grasp of what’s appropriate is evidently nonexistent ya know. but I do need to talk to someone bc #I am perhaps doing less than optimal ya know? and I don’t really want to go back to my last therapist I feel like it’s been too long #don’t know what my plan of action is here but this was slightly cathartic at least

[finalhaunts]

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#.txt #fuck man. #thinking about my ex. agh. #i dont know how i feel about things i guess #ive moved on and im happy he’s happy /gen but also whenever I think about him I just get so upset #I guess I’m just wondering what I did wrong. its been over a year and im still just so upset whenever i think about it #because it had been nearly two years since we got together and he just. broke up with me out of the blue. #and I never got an explanation as to why. even when I asked he didn’t tell me #and part of me is thinking ‘’well i should just respect whether he wants to say or not’’ but at the same time don’t I deserve some closure? #he said it wasn’t because of her at least. but part of me can’t help thinking he left me because he was happier with her. #I feel like maybe I was just too much. and thats why he left. #im too anxious and too paranoid and too scared whenever i enter a relationship because i don’t want to do something unforgivable. #i dont want to hurt anyone. that’s the last thing i want. I don’t want to push anyone away. #and im hurt that it didnt work out and i want to know what I did wrong but #at the same time i feel like im. happier. now that im out of that relationship #he wssnt a bad guy and he still isnt /gen. i just. i dont know #looking back on the relationship i don’t feel like i was happy. and once we broke it off we drifted apart quickly #and even if he didnt do anything wrong i feel Very uncomfortable over the thought of us interacting again. even just as mutuals or whatever #I think I’ve honestly just given up on trying to find love. its never worked out for me #ill just stick to the fictional ones. thanks. #also if anyone readjng has any clue who this js please dont mention it #this isnt like. a callout or me trying to smear him or whatever he’s genuinely a great guy #im just. having a lot of mixed emotions. even after so long. #vent

[bluinary]

Waking up crying because after 2 years of grinding and understudying I was called back to play a real lead for a renowned director (me out of 3 girls total) and I lost the role to a girl who just auditioned here for the first time. The worst part is that I am also her understudy for the show before that!

#and it feels like no one actually gives a fuck. im being constantly invalidated #“thats showbiz” bitch this is a community theatre that prides itself on fairness #im not saying I shouldve just gotten the role bc ive been there. either role. #i am saying though that playing a fucking lead has historically been treated like a privilege. #because it can lead to huge opportunities once ppl see you that way #and tbf I nailed the callback. even the girl cast (whos also my new friend) said honestly she was sure it was me. #before i was even called back i had fellow actors saying id be perfect for it #i know why he cast the other girl. there are multiple reasons. #but honestly her reasons and mine weigh much the same. and she just got there. #im emphasizing SHE JUST GOT THERE #she even told me she just wanted to be involved #this is the 2nd time this has happened to me and im really fucking sick of it. #and now that ive regained some weight.....who tf else will cast me #i dont want to have to go all ED again i dont have the money or energy #also I cant dance very well. at least not in callbacks. i always forget what move comes next and i bomb it. #anyway. now im waking up crying. and its coming from a selfish place so no one is here to give a fuck. #this is the worst position to be in lmfao. if i have feelings about something im the villain and a diva. #i have to be “humble” but oh!! dont be down on yourself either!! have pride!! #this month has sucked so bad. #blu babbles #also. shes really good! but shes absolutely not THAT good lmfao. her presence is awesome and she dances well #and her voice is really nice! shes a triple threat but like. all areas are just *at* the bar yknow? #for me ive been told my acting is also at the bar my dancing is just below the bar and my voice is way above the bar. #shes been asking me for tips on singing and no one also seems to see how that feels like twisting the knife. #ik its not intentional. shes just naive. but it still hurts. it hurts really really bad. #im like @ god if you want me to have faith and confidence in myself why are you making me into a loser #first i lose my ex. then my car gets fucked up. also its been cloudy for 2+ weeks so depression. then i gain weight. #now i lose BOTH roles i was called back for. #i dont even want to go to rehearsal today. what the hell do they need me for.

[our-lady-of-mcr]

everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn

#self #for instance.....my mom wants me to cut off everyone who is still tied to the school #and im so mad at myself for feeling a certain type of way when the campus manager called me not too long ago basically to tell me she doesnt #trust the girl who did this shit and she wasnt mad at me but was also mad at me for bringing her to her dads house #for reference we were trying to get a cat from the campus managers dads house LMFAO #and i honestly cannot wait to speak to her again and be like 😔 god dammit you were right like you were every single time #i just dont understand the wiring in her head to think the shit she says and does to people is normal and okay and how she doesnt realize it #is literally a mental health break. when i finally told my mom the first thing she said was shes probably off her medication #which.....probably isnt wrong sadly coming from someone who has borderline and very easily can lose it #but the difference is i dont give in to the urges to try to hurt everyone around me in every way i can #and me and her have said before that we thought she might also have borderline because we were very similar #but god damn does she love proving that if she has it its extremely severe or its something else entirely #on an honest note. shes incredibly narcissistic and i know her mom is part of the reason shes that way bc she was given princess treatment #her entire fucking life and then doesnt understand when other people dont treat her the same way #i hate rambling about this and i hate it that it is bothering me so fucking bad but like ??? #if youre going to decide that you can put our past aside period and move on then fucking do that and stop bringing the past up as a way to #hurt me and the people around you???? she acts like shes not done horrible fucking things to people. so sorry i wrote a letter that was very #honest at the time. so sorry that when you found out i apologized for it and said i regret it because 2 weeks after my apology i no longer #regret writing it. if its making school a living hell for you....theres probably a reason for that girlfriend #i am not the person who put that shit in your folder #though i seriously fucking doubt its actually in her folder shes probably assuming it is #and youre the one who made a complete ass of yourself to every educator that ever stepped foot in that building #that has nothing to do with me that you are a literal warning given to every new educator!!!! i havent even been in school there in months #yet IM the problem??? how am i the problem when i graduated in fucking january???? everything since then falls on you #AND YET AGAIN! MIGHT I MENTION! IT IS NOT JUST MY LETTER!!! THERES AT LEAST 2 OTHER ONES!!!!! #BECAUSE IM NOT THE ONLY PERSON SHE DOES THIS SHIT TO!!!! #god sometimes i sit back and realize that theres a reason she regresses as a person and i do not #im not going to sit still anymore and let someone walk all over me and she can thank herself for that #shes who taught me that blocking and running as fast as i can doesnt fix anything #so here we are bitch. youre not blocked and im sure youre sitting at home thinking about how youre right about everything

[anotheruntitledsong]

i did like the hidden palace but (SPOILER if anyone hasn't read it?) i'm genuinely so annoyed at how Arbeely is handled like... I wish i could be sad but i'm just fucking irritated. I was overly invested in him and that's def why but i just feel like they did him dirty

#the golem and the jinni #i was scrolling goodreads and the take i kept seeing was 'oh I wish Arbeely could've had his family too bad the jinni FUCKED IT UP' #but idk that's just not how i read him. like thats not where i feel the problem is #his whole shtick is being content as the jinni's foil and like! things can change! but the way it's done leaves him totally unresolved #which in turn means the jinni's shit is also never getting resolved because there is like no way to #when Arbeely describes his future family in the first book it's all 'someday... vaguely...' and AGAIN! what you want can change! #and honestly it's really interesting and sad that he makes this sacrifice for the jinni #but it's a layer of complexity that like clashes with how little he is there for and how little the author's invested in him #and like the way the no marriage literally did not ruin his life at all... sure it sucked but the man is still like idk rich #what has continuously fucked with him throughout both books is that he wants (or at least spends half his page time thinking about) #emotional connection to the jinni in a human way #which is something the jinni cant\wont give him even though he's basically Arbeely's only close friend #(besides ig maryam who was rlly funny hinting at her dislike for the jinni like someone trying to get their friend to dump their toxic bf) #anyway the vibe in the first book is that he only thinks about wanting a wife when the jinni is being a dickhead #BECAUSE the jinni eases arbeelys loneliness by just being there because at the end of the day that's what humans need #but then it's made really weird in the second book by Arbeely getting 'trapped' by the jinni (and yet they just grow further apart) #which means that the only thing arbeely actually spent half his life discontent with and then literally died without is not a wife #it's emotional intimacy with the jinni. which is insane to me #arbeely is obviously already tragic but this seems TOO tragic entirely because the book doesn't give af about addressing it #if it was like a plot thing then all of the above would be fine and gutwrenching because it ties back into the jinnis self isolation #BUT IT'S NOT. like i get arbeely isn't that important to the plot but he was important to the jinni and the jinni was important to him #alsoo necessarily disclaimer i'm not trying to say he's in love with the jinni or anything like that #although a queer arbeely (divorced from the above idea) would also been interesting cuz I dont think the jinni has a grasp on homophobia #so idk theyd be keeping each others secrets (arbeely x the biscuit man? JOKE) #BUTTTT! I don't believe he needs romantic energy! him and the jinni having awful vibes up until arbeely's literal death is what bothers me #The jinni is a bad communicator ik but come on... not once? not even before the diagnosis? The jinni also thinks about how distant they are #could they not talk a little? for me? there are ways to do it within the bounds of their characters FOR SURE #im sure this is the point but i do dislike it either way. anyway sorry arbeely u remind me of my uncle #the hidden palace