#i just need someone to feel bad for me so badly

[moon-blanket]

FOOL!DAVID !!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME. HEY GUYS HI HEY GUYS !!! WHAT !!!!

I was so scared that he wouldn't sound like David, idk how to describe it, but I was pleasantly surprised. :)

GABE :(((( Holding this small convo so gently in my hands and thinking about What Could Be in the prime universe :((((

SHIFTING BC ANGEL SCARED HIM AND THE WHINING ?????? OH MY GOD I'M SHSH HH HHSHS. "It's a little funny, but it's Mean. You're very mean." I'M GOING TO GO CRAZYYYY.

THE SHAKY BREATHS AFTER THEY KISS HIM ?? ERIK HEY ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME SPECIFICALLY.

ANGEL ? GRUMPY ? This is an Interesting Development.

THE WAAAAAAY HE SOFTLY ASKS FOR MORE KISSES ?? THE QUIET BEGGING ???? We're literally not even five minutes in and I'm already bouncing off the walls.

Waiting to eat dinner until they got home so they could eat together. Hey what if i Sob and Cry. HE WANTS TO MAKE DINNER FOR THEM WAAH.

ASHER ALPHA MOMENT MENTIONED AGAIN WOOOOO. I wonder So Fondly about who his beta is. Anton ? I Assume ?

"Really ? You think I'm cute ?" YES YES YES YES YES. IN EVERY UNIVERSE. He's so flustered about it hey i'm getting on my knees.

THE LITTLE "Hi..." WHEN THEY HUG HIM I'M GOING TO EAT WIRES.

Angel thinking David looks cute in Every form, and David saying that people usually think it's Intimidating and Scary :(( so having someone to be Open with it all about. To be safe enough to share it with someone who isn't afraid. I'll weep.

Hey I'm just going to write all of this out for Posterity's sake, because I'm Insane... But just know that this Entire Scene has unfortunately put me in the ground. Oh my god. OH MY GOD. I didn't know how badly I needed David desperately begging and whimpering until now ! holy fuck !!! Is this what having the Patreon feels like !!!!!

"All yours, all of me, just tell me what you want. Tell me what to do." "Angel, please. You know how bad I want you." "Yes, all of this. It's all for you. All this muscle, all this strength. All of it. However you want it." "I know how bad you want me, too. You love to tease, but only because you know you'll still get it in the end. So let me give it to you. Please ?"

This was. Wonderful. I was afraid for the Concept of this video but I was blown out of the water by how Well it was executed. I'm going insane. I'm eating drywall. I'm on my knees. Erik never fails to rock my world. I will now go be looping this video for 10 hours straight.

#redacted audio #redacted asmr #redacted spoilers #moon's thoughts #redacted david #redacted fooliverse #Keeping it real i'm So Afraid to listen to Fool!Anton. Is Fool!Anton good. I'm sure it is. #I sat with my jaw open during the final few minutes. good GOLLY ! I need this man.

[hdra77]

hello hi I hope you don't mind me rambling to you but here we go anyway!! I'm brainrotting so hard over rw I need to ramble to someone From the deep magenta pearl from Shaded Citatel:

Trying to decipher the date system, this one seems to be yyyy.dd, or year.cycle. since there are three 0's on the cycle part, we assumed it goes up to 999 (since there are some numbers about as high as 700 in iterator chat logs) before resetting- like 1000.999 -> 1001.000. Now, here is the date on a log from the "I struggle to accept being a bug" conversation between 5P and 7RS. Takes place after the ancients are gone. (from dark blue pearl/dark green pearl in sky islands, the logs are chosen randomly from the ones i'll add below).

So, ancients left somewhere between 1514.008 and 1591.290. Here, the date on where Erratic Pulse participates in some silverist group. (I don't remember if it's actually sylverist or not, a (also from dark blue pearl/dark green pearl))

Here, when they find out about Erratic Pulse. (also dark blue pearl/dark green pearl)

Here, Moon announcing to the local group about Pebbles' increased water consumption. (from dark blue pearl/dark green pearl too)

BSM: Two cycles ago, my neighbor Five Pebbles drastically increased his water consumption to four times the normal amount. He has been unresponsive for a period of time longer than that. The two of us share groundwater, and I have been without water for almost a cycle.

On 1654.110, Moon announces that it's been two cycles since Pebbles increased their water intake. It happened on 1654.008.

Moon did the forced broadcast on 1654.116, 8 days after the increased water consumption started. 8 days of suffering Moon endured before she had no choice other than force communications.

On 1681.662 (keep in mind, we're assuming that each year is 999 cycles), 7RS and CW have a conversation about how badly rotted Pebbles is becoming, and about how Moon has been unavaliable for quite some time. From 1654.108 to 1681.662, which is 26975 cycles (and the average person lives about 29200 days), Moon is suffering with the lack of water degrading her structure (assuming she hadn't collapsed by that point,) and lost any way of communicating with somewhere between those dates.

Where am I going with this? I'm honestly not quite sure, but wanted to share with you just how incredibly long this all takes. All this time, all the effort Pebbles put into reaching ascention, fighting so hard for a freedom he couldn't even be certain he'd obtain- all worth nothing. And in the end, Moon still forgives him.

Ohh interesting!! I never even thought that those numbers were actually dates to begin with 💀 now i feel even more bad for moon

Also feel free to ramble! This is a safe space for any rainworld theories or just rambling about them in general! 👍 i love reading them

#asks #rain world

[atopvisenyashill]

I think the point that a lot of people miss with Arya is that the approval she craves the most is of her mother. People call her pretty, including her father and Jon. But she still doesn't think she is pretty because she doesn't measure up to her mother's expectations. We know it hurts her that unlike her siblings, she doesn't look like Catelyn. Which is funny to me because Catelyn despaired that none of her children looked like Ned, except Arya. So no Catelyn did not hate that Arya didn't have Tully looks (believe me I have seen that take numerous times), rather she wanted her to take care of herself and be presentable.

Yeah like, I would say it’s even a pretty common dynamic in real life, where you have a daughter that doesn’t quite fit in and a mother who does and they talk past each other a lot of the times. It’s not to say that I don’t wish Catelyn had taken a more gentle approach to Arya, or that it’s like, an okay thing that the system they live in forces the toxicity of this situation but I think people really gloss over the fundamental aspect of this (and like,,, most) mother-daughter relationships which is that Arya wants her mother to be proud of her and Catelyn wants Arya to be prepared for adulthood. Neither of them is acting out of a bad place here and neither is motivated by anything hostile. Catelyn just feels, pragmatically, that there are certain things Arya needs to know and understand about the world and the life she’ll be expected to live. While Arya wishes her mother could conceive of a world where Arya can just be whomever she wants without being forced into a specific mold or role.

I kinda scrapped this part of that Cat & Arya meta I wrote, but I had like a whole section wherein like, Catelyn knows that The Rules Of Men allowed her a lot of power - she was presumptive heir, acting lady, and now a lady of a great seat with a husband who adores her in part because of her willfulness and fiery temper. What Catelyn wants for Arya is for Arya to have the tools she needs to succeed as a willful, fiery girl in a World Of Men, so that Arya can find a man who loves her for who she is and find freedom in her home & marriage. But because while Arya and Catelyn may share temperaments, they don’t have a lot of overlap in skills, I think Arya sees more clearly and much sooner than it’s simply ridiculous and unfair that Arya has to have this really specific skill set to be worth anything, and that what she’s “worth” to a man shouldn’t be as important as what she’s worth to herself. But like, how do you even verbalize a concept you’re only slightly aware if you’re Arya? How do you tell your mother that the skills she’s honed for her whole life in the hopes that her life as a woman in a feudal system is happy, are like, ~useless~ and have no moral value, it’s just something Cat is good at vs something Arya is good at?? I mean the whole reason i CUT that section was because i felt like i wasn’t hitting the balance of explaining and validating both WHAT IT IS Catelyn wants for Arya out of the system and also WHY IT IS that Arya chafes so badly.

Ultimately, Arya wants to want what her mother wants for her because that’s her mom, she wants to be like her mom, she wants her mom to be proud of her, and also ultimately, Catelyn wants Arya to be safe, and alive, and thinks to herself that Arya would be good at running a household, and since running a household gave Catelyn power, it’s a sweet wish that Catelyn wants to set Arya up to be someone who is great with the only power Catelyn feels she can give her. But they see the world so differently, because they are both stubborn and willful while being Incredibly different & living very different childhoods, and before Catelyn can hold Arya and assure her that she would have wanted her back no matter what, even if her hair is messy and she’s dressing like a boy, even if she never fits in and has killed people, because Catelyn loves her enough to fight against that system that has benefit Cat all those years……but it’s too late, and Catelyn is gone before she can ever say the words I know she wanted to say, the words that Arya needed to hear.

#like once again HOW DOES THAT NOT HIT FOR YOU #asks #anons #mothers and daughters

[indulgnc]

this kink is so stupid im torn between posting like “please i just want to be loved and feel special i wish i was sick so someone would care for me” or “what if a guy being humiliated by wearing a too-short skirt had to sneeze but they couldnt cover bc their hands were too busy trying to keep the fabric in place” So im posting both. heres both.

#thumbs up emoji #dont have privacy to jack off so im rlly pent up #and also under. probably the most stress i have been in my life (ill be fine #but im really. needy. i wish i was sick bc then id be worthy of tsking care of IDK my brain is so melted #i want someone to care for me so so so badly #or like make me sneeze. that would be cool too #this is dipping vent territory my bad im genuinely going crazy i want to feel loved #idc where it comes from i just need it(looks like pathetic little cat scratching at a couch #alright looks good. lets press post #excuse my craziness 4 tn #im like almost stress delirious lmfao #apologies #text

[oozeandgoo-art]

had an odd dream that i was reading a comic book. sketched a couple of the pages i could remember.

#i might adapt this into an actual story because i am SO SO SO mad that it isn't a thing i can go back to reading #oc #im definitely keeping the concept of save-bot i fucking love save-bot he's just doing his best. i love a robot who wants to help people #im not equipped to be writing about underground rebellions with any sense of real tact though #besides its in a superhero universe/story so you know it would just be so sucks lol #sketch #god the colors were so interesting. the teal parts were all very precisely crosshatched and the fire was this gorgeous brush pen looking #colored inks that just seemed like they were MOVING #and i mean some of that was because i was dreaming but god even in my halfhearted copy you can see some of the movement #it was a bad scene but a really really REALLY fun dream. i love when a book can *get* to me so i was really enjoying it #put it aside so i could take a break and woke up. instant fury at the universe for not having it be a real book instead #ill reblog with details if anyone's curious. i can explain this scene but i dont feel like it #the green people are in a secret basement though. hiding from the government. blue jacket guy is a speedster robot named save-bot who does #rescue stuff with every fire department so fire suppression technology is not very good because save-bot "can just save you'' #however they're badly over their legal occupancy and the secret basement has One (1) exit so everyone is like really fucked here. #includinig save-bot who is going to do his job until he dies because he is an ai without any sense of self preservation and he cares #which i didn't even CATCH until i woke up and started tryin to frantically note everything down #and then i was like wait. the glitter on that last page before i realized i needed a glass of water to keep reading... what WAS that... #(it was tears suspended in midair because save-bot goes so fast and also knows he's so fucked LOL) #seriously i'm so mad someone else didn't make this.

[puppyeared]

for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........

#MOTHER FFFFUCKER #to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants #im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night #at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn #to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS #the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori #but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey #consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!! #just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick #outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to #animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better #at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH #i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc #im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over #where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands #there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE #ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles #but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your #health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!! #im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves #also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet #im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to #have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to #to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up #their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ #yapping

[autistic-katara]

there r fics that make u insane (so amazingly good it’s removed ur sanity) and then there’s fics that make u insane (you need to fistfight the author for how they did a specific thing that caused u to rant for hours)

#i know i just posted that other thing but ffs that is NOT how u handle someone in that situation everyone involved made everything 10x worse #yet it’s being treated like the right thing to do (which again ofc they’re cops they don’t understand harm reduction but still) like #seriously everything’s so forceful like u seriously think forcing ur friend to talk to u or forcing a patient to talk to a therapist under #the threat of being admitted to a psychiatric hospital is gonna make her feel comfortable talking to u? or anyone? she’s just gonna trust u #less and get better at hiding it and speaking of which the taking away all sharp objects thing makes sense in theory but like think abt it #for a minute she confirmed she isn’t suicidal and this is her only way of coping so do not just forcibly take away all her coping mechanism #like yes she is hurting herself but it’s a COPING MECHANISM. she’s coping with something. help her with that don’t just take away her penci #sharpers or whatever (which btw since she’s an adult she could easily buy more stuff and yk learn to hide it better) which again has to be #voluntary it isn’t gonna work if u force someone to do smthn they don’t want to like as ur friend u could’ve made it clear u care abt her #and wouldn’t judge her for anything and r here if she wants to talk don’t just say “you have to talk to me” and casually threaten #hospitalisation when she isn’t ready in the moment like seriously if this wasn’t a badly written fanfic she would completely stop trusting #bcz given that this wasn’t even done out of panic i would like ffs u are NOT doing any of this right #oops sorry ranted abt the bad fic in my tags- #it’s not where the author’ll see it and know it’s about them i don’t feel bad abt it #this was my first time even looking at stuff for this fandom so #cw self harm in tags #idk if i need to tag anything else for that 😭 #fanfic #ao3 #ryan shut the fuck up

[blueside-hobi]

As much as I love overwatch, I am so sick of people being mean. It seems like 90% of games whichever losing side either blames their tank or support when 90% of the time it's definitely not either. Also I only play quick play games so these don't even matter. I can understand being upset if you're playing competitive but people still don't need to be rude. Quick play is supposed to be fun. I usually get people commenting on me being a one trick but if I play anyone else then I get told I suck. How am I supposed to learn new characters if I get bullied from trying them? And especially now that there's only one tank I constantly see "tank diff" in the chat. Like grow up. It is very rarely only one person's fault that a game is lost and that's usually because they leave or they are literally not trying and just running around saying hi to the enemy team. No way was it all the tanks fault. And it's literally always the damage players complaining about it. Like maybe you're losing because you keep saying rude shit in the chat and you're bringing morale down and nobody wants to play with you.

#idk if the age group is just super young or if its literally just assholes that play but they need to do something about it #i feel like in the old overwatch it was easier to report people #but im also still new to this so maybe i just dont know how yet #and i mainly feel bad for the other people that have to play with them or when someone says something about my teammate #like i dont give a shit what people say to me personally #being a mercy one trick will give you a thick skin lol #but like i cant help but think about the next healer they play with #because it still does suck #like i get over it and continue like i dont see the comments but i wouldnt blame someone for stopping from healing them #any time someone on my team says something mean about our other healer i make sure to be extra aware of that healer and keep them alive #and ill take care of the asshole if they stop because i dont expect them to put up with them #the best though is when you start with a really toxic person and youre losing so badly that it genuinely hurts #and then they leave and all of a sudden you win #like yeah it was totally everyone else dude #overwatch

[hooved]

nothing makes me block someone faster than them writing paragraphs about how much they hate odo in the tags on my posts about him

#tbh i feel like most ppl who hate him that much just severely misunderstand him #they just go ''ew he's a cop'' and refuse to accept that he's a nuanced character with trauma and regrets and a conscience #who was abused and manipulated and raised in a violent environment surrounded by ppl who think he's a freak #and was never taught how to handle his emotions in a healthy way. never felt like he was worthy of love #he's deeply flawed and he's done horrible things in the past but it haunts him. he hates himself for it #i truly don't believe he's a bad person. he was just forced into unfortunate circumstances #he's emotional and misguided and makes a lot of mistakes but he really does want to be a good person #he wants to help others and keep them safe even if it means hurting himself #he's a very complicated character but i feel so protective of him because i understand that despite all of this he's very fragile #all he needed was someone who loved and cared for him enough to steer him in the right direction and he didn't have that #he had to try to learn how the world works on his own and that went.....pretty badly to say the least #but it was either that or continue to be tortured and thought of as nothing more than an object #he was essentially like a scared animal just trying to survive #and much like a scared animal. they may bite but it's either in self defense or a sign of bad ownership. it's not entirely their fault #anyway i could go on and on and on forever about this topic #(and don't even get me started on how badly you all misinterpret the shit that happened with him and the founder) #but anyway. i love odo very much. odo haters dni

[autismvampyre]

im still lonely but im pushing thru it

#like i cant think or talk abt how isolating it is and how i missed my formative years only to be bullied by actual children #bc if i do i will cry. i cant talk about how once again my classmates parents have judged without knowing me and are banning their kids from #interacting with me. it isnt new. but i used to not be alone thru all that and now i have no one. i feel pathetic bc im important to no one #im desperate to be codependent. ik its bad but i just want to be understood by someone who needs me as much asi need them bc i never had tha #ive never been the first priority. i want to be so badly. theres so much love inside me and i need to let it out to someone but im paralyzed #by my own fear #nydia vents #nydias post

[volfoss]

I really think reading the old cap stuff w both knowledge Bucky will get blown up and also be the second shooter that killed JFK is really adding a lot to my enjoyment of it. Cannot wait to see him get blown up I'm sorry

#twist rambles #the old comics r literally so bad 90% of the time. listen to me if u are someone curious about bu/cky. dont fucking do it. its not worth it #its just getting my need to blow him up increased. did you know they wrote him so so badly at first... i do now #im doing it all for a series from 2020 i as a comic fan love to suffer thru like 80 years of comics that are horrible to get to like 3 good #series. I'm excited to see what brub/aker does w him. and to meet alpine... and to see him kill (for the most part... i think ill have to #reread the um. wolveri/ne was at hirosh/ima when the bomb dropped comic. and i think that will make me feel rage on new levels). i think #that there is a special hell in being a cap fan at times. but i will survive ok. prommy. i just have like... countdown until he blows up in #my mind ok. let it be known i care abt him. but i need him to die violently ok. for me :3

[swordmaid]

sza open arms but it’s shri’iia’s relationship with lolth specifically this part

#please put a leash on me anyway….. who needs self esteem anyway…………………….!!!!!!! #the way I treat her relationship with lolth (and her matriarch bc she projects lolth on her) and her Oath is like this toxic abusive #relationship where she is So copedent on the other and she wants to Please and follow them so badly that she disregards her own self sm #like to the point where her own sense of self/individuality is so divorced from herself bc she just thinks that she’s Made to follow this #oath and her body is a tool for them to use so she doesn’t really care what they do with it bc as long as she’s following her oath she’s #content. since to her her oath is literally everything you know and it just so happens that her oath is centered around following her #goddess and her matriarch.. like the option to Not Follow them was so unfathomable that when she actually does it it’s out of her own will #and when she bears the brunt of that consequence she doesn’t know what comes next bc she never knew she could do That u know …. #anyway I think conceptualising her relationship with her faith in that way is interesting to me since I read somewhere not sure if it’s #canon or what but lolth’s relationship with the drows is an allegory for domestic abuse so like… it tracks #also the thing with shri’iia is that she doesn’t see herself as a victim bc she was the one who swore up on that oath u know #so for her everything else that followed and the way she was treated is basically like well this is what u we’re getting into 🤷‍♀️ #but it’s also like she didn’t even know there were other options considering her society is just one big lolth cult and then there’s the #drow victim blaming mentality that’s def ingrained on her #like I could see her understanding someone else’s pain and struggles and trying to offer some form of comfort #but if it comes to her she’ll just be confused on why they feel bad bc she signed up for it 🥲😩😔 #parts of the things she’s def unlearning now that shes stuck in the surface lol

[dan-crimes]

I love writers I love when they ramble on abt characters and their motivations, their core values and the reasons why they react to things in certain ways and having character interactions work off of each other due to their differing ways of viewing the world and in general I just love character analysis

#as someone who loves humans and human behaviours and figuring out why people react to things the ways that they do #uhhh I'm actually surprisingly really bad @ writing characters with those same traits 😅 #unless it is smth I can connect to on some sort of level like a few of my characters have issues that I specifically relate to #thereforee I can understand the ways they act in certain circumstances #BUT when it comes to characters that are like almost entirely outside of my wavelength it's pretty hard for me to understand how they work #and it's pretty basic habits and behaviours I just fuckin lack them in general #like the concept of clinginess or abandoment issues or wanting to stay around people who treat you badly or jealousy or missing people #also love like I understand my type of love but my type of love isn't typical from what I've seen from others #even some of my own past issues like dealing with trauma have kinda been lost on me especially bcuz I'm the type to ignore stuff #like I just ignored it til it came back to bite me in the ass and had to just kinda struggle with it and go completely numb #until I got tired of feeling that way and pulled myself outta it step by step and my various negative ways of thinking elude me #since I just gradually built myself up and rearranged my brain so that all negative thinking eventually turns into dust #whether be positive or purely neutral until I'm able to handle it better #REGARDLESS I try to get a sense of what these other traits are like and how exactly they work for people but it is VERY difficult for me #bcuz the stuff is just such an alien emotion to me like people get REALLY emotional about things that simply aren't a problem for me #and I wish I could understand why and what goes on in the brain that causes that but my brain just doesn't work that way #SOOO me trying to make characters of typical issues I see people having DOESN'T really work when I have no idea what's going on #like IN GENERAL my characters need to have more emotion behind them but the emotions I need them to have are #like I said before. something I totally lack ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so I have no idea how to do it #I mean I think I need like a check list I need to make a list of traits my characters have in general cuz I never write anything down #it'd be easier to figure it out if I had words to go along with it and then I could figure out the behaviours behind those words #plus I need to draw my characters cuz I'm very much a visual person I can't get as good of a feel without some visuals along with it

[aethergate]

i have too many vanitas headcannons that i just have rattle around in my head

#mun in the moon [ ooc ] #i have no idea how he got to me so badly on this playthrough of KH #i think he only knows like. fire magic and maybe one or two other spells #i think he doesnt know healing magic at all #i know that boy doesnt know how to read and write he was raised in the KEYBLADE GRAVEYARD by XEHANORT #i think he doesnt do training matches he acts like hes fighting to the death in every fight ever #hence why he just fuckin #flops on the ground after so many fights in bbs #he just puts his entire strength and all his energy into every fight so viciously he doesnt keep stamina #so after it hes just absolutely winded #holding my head in my hands. boy whos anger comes from a deep sense of lonliness and envy because hes been alone all his life #and wants what ventus has so bad cause hes gotten so many looks into it #but he thinks the only way he can Stop feeling like that is straight up just dying. and becoming whole with him again #cause he hasnt been given the space to breathe and deprogram himself from thinking hes a monster not made to exist #which. it doesnt help in the bbs times darkness was way more villianized people didnt think you needed both!!! #so everyone would've just been like ew youre mad of darkness youre evil right away anyways even without the xehanort influence #i know he hates looking at his reflection and so many parts of himself cause hes like ew im just a mismash of ventus and sora #my boys lack of a sense of identity out of being a weapon or feeling like something not meant to exist #just meant to die to fulfill a bigger purpose and become someone else again #everyone else is trying to get out of the heart hotel hes trying to get IN #anyways. im normal now. #i have so many other thoughts but i cant word them just yet. boy who i adopted 3 days ago rotting my head

[mooodyblue]

tags again. ignore me 🥸

#hello venting again #i have not been doing very well #and i am very sad that i can't ever fully regress n have to just put it all into my writing #and i want a cg !!! i want to ramble abt my interests to someone n show off my pretty little pictures !!!! #and it also sucks because a few weeks ago i lost everything i used for my regression forever and starting over sucks so bad #all my plushies r gone and i only have a few now and i don't have many coloring books anymore which is the worst part of it #n i've been like ... considering joining that side of tumblr too but i rly can't be bothered to make another blog :( #i am just #vvvvvv sad #i always have to be big cuz i have to check on ppl or someone might need me for something i can never be fully tiny n i hate itttttt #n i know i need this badly right now cause my brain has not been treating me very well recently and i'm trying to not Do Bad Things #but i'm grateful for this blog cuz i can ramble abt elvie n my love for him without feeling like i'm annoying anyone but #i still feel so aloneeeee #nobody is gonna read this but if u do that's my bad #ty for listening to my vent #sometimes i have to wonder if being here is a curse or a blessing bc writing is what made me feel more comfy abt my regression but #now im sad bc i can't even be little majority of the time #ok i will stop talking now #lily.txt

[dandeyrain]

we GOTTA stop repackaging outright gender essentialism and misogyny as cute '''''''''feminist'''''''''' jokes!

#i eat my girl dinner of a few crackers and a diet soda i give in to the feminine urge to text my ex and spend frivolously #then i justify it with teehee girl math cos everybody knows girls cant do math or be smart #i listen to the divine feminine reminding me that girls love pseudoscience and real knowledge is for men while girls get to Feel #and any girl who actually cares abt science is probably just faking for men and being a pickme! #btw women dont exist were all Girls forever #like we CANNOT keep advancing this idea that a.) there are magical differences between men and women #and b.) THOSE DIFFERENCES INCLUDE HOW WOMEN CANT DO MATH OR EVER BECOME ACTUAL ADULTS #be a good girl! dont think girl! be financially illiterate girl! eat badly girl! you need to be taken care of girl! #someone else needs to make your decisions for you girl! #terfs done touch this i hate u for real #rain speaking! #sorry i know i harp abt this a lot #but it is for real so distressing to see this shit getting so mainstream #ANYBODY REMEMBER THE 2010S! HOW DID WE GET HERE FROM THAT #like women who love femininity have always been around! im sorta one of them! #but this framing of it as being Innate To Girls is so fucking bad #and it used to be the sort of shit you just saw outright trad freaks parroting #and anyone who critiques the ubiquity of these 'jokes' is accused of being unable to take a joke