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#REGARDLESS I try to get a sense of what these other traits are like and how exactly they work for people but it is VERY difficult for me
dan-crimes · 9 months
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I love writers I love when they ramble on abt characters and their motivations, their core values and the reasons why they react to things in certain ways and having character interactions work off of each other due to their differing ways of viewing the world and in general I just love character analysis
#as someone who loves humans and human behaviours and figuring out why people react to things the ways that they do#uhhh I'm actually surprisingly really bad @ writing characters with those same traits 😅#unless it is smth I can connect to on some sort of level like a few of my characters have issues that I specifically relate to#thereforee I can understand the ways they act in certain circumstances#BUT when it comes to characters that are like almost entirely outside of my wavelength it's pretty hard for me to understand how they work#and it's pretty basic habits and behaviours I just fuckin lack them in general#like the concept of clinginess or abandoment issues or wanting to stay around people who treat you badly or jealousy or missing people#also love like I understand my type of love but my type of love isn't typical from what I've seen from others#even some of my own past issues like dealing with trauma have kinda been lost on me especially bcuz I'm the type to ignore stuff#like I just ignored it til it came back to bite me in the ass and had to just kinda struggle with it and go completely numb#until I got tired of feeling that way and pulled myself outta it step by step and my various negative ways of thinking elude me#since I just gradually built myself up and rearranged my brain so that all negative thinking eventually turns into dust#whether be positive or purely neutral until I'm able to handle it better#REGARDLESS I try to get a sense of what these other traits are like and how exactly they work for people but it is VERY difficult for me#bcuz the stuff is just such an alien emotion to me like people get REALLY emotional about things that simply aren't a problem for me#and I wish I could understand why and what goes on in the brain that causes that but my brain just doesn't work that way#SOOO me trying to make characters of typical issues I see people having DOESN'T really work when I have no idea what's going on#like IN GENERAL my characters need to have more emotion behind them but the emotions I need them to have are#like I said before. something I totally lack ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so I have no idea how to do it#I mean I think I need like a check list I need to make a list of traits my characters have in general cuz I never write anything down#it'd be easier to figure it out if I had words to go along with it and then I could figure out the behaviours behind those words#plus I need to draw my characters cuz I'm very much a visual person I can't get as good of a feel without some visuals along with it
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ja3yun · 2 months
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Push My Buttons | L.HS
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bodyguard!heeseung x rich girl!reader warnings: enemies to ???, angst, smut (mdni), car sex, unprotected sex, cream pie, choking, mentions of spit, possessive!hee, some violence, not proofread, anything else lmk! wc: 7.5k synopsis: lee heeseung has been hired as your personal security by your father. you and him don't see eye to eye, so when tensions rise at your best friends party, you both know how to push each others buttons. a/n: hi! this is a thank you for 1k! i still don't believe it if i'm honest because i don't think i deserve it but regardless, thank you all so much if you follow me! this is a little idea i had sitting on my laptop that i've decided to complete for this occasion so enjoy!
_____
Browsing through the racks of the Prada store, you can't help but feel acutely aware of the imposing presence of your hired security, stationed just two feet away.
"Do you have to stick to me like glue all the time?" you mutter, not bothering to meet his gaze.
“It’s my job, Y/N. You’d know what that was if you weren’t such a spoiled brat,” he spits back, his eyes rolling in exasperation.
Lee Heeseung was appointed by your father to ensure your safety during his frequent business trips. Unfortunately, your father's demanding role as CFO of a tech company keeps him away for extended periods. He doesn't trust you to fend for yourself, fearing that others might exploit you to reach him. Given your father's controversial reputation stemming from questionable business dealings, Heeseung's imposing presence is a constant fixture in your life.
Your bodyguard would be more tolerable if he weren't so insistent on being by your side every second. It's tiresome, really, how he clings to you like a shadow, never granting you a moment of solitude. If you go to the bathroom, he is right outside the door and if you dare try and sneak out the window - which you have tried numerous times - he is chasing you down the street, sweeping you off your feet and taking you home.
You had hoped that being only a couple of years older, he might adopt a more relaxed approach, letting you live your life a little, but you were wrong. Since the first day he turned up, he’s been nothing but a hoover, sucking the fun and freedom from your life all to keep you safe.
Sure, he probably knows deep down that he's a tad overbearing, but hey, he's clinging to this gig like a lifeline. Compared to his last job of being a bouncer at some dingy club, knocking back people with fake IDs and kicking out drunk people, your dad's cushy paycheck is like hitting the jackpot.
To Heeseung, you’re just some rich kid who has more money than sense, squandering it on everything and anything you deem a necessity at the time, only to then throw them away or forget about them. Considering he struggled to pay his rent before this job, he hates your whimsy ways with money. 
It's like you live in your own little bubble, completely disconnected from the real world. There are people out there starving and you’re buying thousands of pounds worth of clothes that you could easily get from a bargain bin for a fiver. 
Finally, you spare him a glance, “Just stand over there, okay? You really don’t have to be here and mess up my whole vibe,” you flail your arms around hoping the gestures will add some exclamation to your statement.
With a resigned sigh, he acquiesces, nodding, "In my line of sight at all times, got it?" He scans the area once more, on high alert for anything out of place, before reluctantly giving you some breathing room.
Heeseung blends in, looking through the obscenely expensive trousers which he is convinced he has seen the exact same jeans in thrift stores, just without the brand label. It’s a reminder of the contrast between you both; your lavish ways are still an alien concept to him.
He’s been in this role for 3 months and he won’t get over it, how different you both are. Your beliefs and traits are so starkly dissimilar that not once have you ever seen eye to eye. He doesn’t hate you, but he’s close to it. You always treat him with little to no respect and considering he’s only looking out for you per your daddy’s request, he would like to think you would be a little more grateful. 
Suddenly, his thoughts are interrupted by a lone figure approaching you, a slick smile playing on his lips. Heeseung’s jaw tightens as he analyses the scene in front of him, trying to speculate what the guy wanted, although Heeseung already knows his intentions.
You’re too busy trying to decide whether beige or cream looks better on you as you hold out two vest tops to notice the incoming man.
“I think you should go with that one,” the sudden boom of a voice beside you makes you jump and turn to him, clutching the clothes to your chest as you try to still your thumping heart, “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you, beautiful.”
Normally, you pay no mind to greasy men like him, but his cinched suit which was clearly tailor-made to fit and his sleek dyed brown hair was enough for you to give him a second glance. You can always spare some time for people who look good.
“Which one?” you ask, holding them back up at arm's length.
“The left one, I think you would look sexy in any of them, to be honest,” he smirks, thinking he’s being so smooth but you’re not really impressed by flattery. You know you look good, you see yourself in the mirror every day. Plus, he’s only trying to oil you up so he can either as you out or try and fuck you. The only one who genuinely gives you truthful advice or says you look good and mean it with no intention is Heeseung.
Your bodyguard is watching like a hawk, face steaming with anger as the guy puts his hand on your waist, holding one of the vest tops to your chest area. He’s already given the guy enough leeway by even letting him speak to you, but now he’s touching you, and Heeseung will be damned if he lets him get away with that.
With measured steps, Heeseung comes up behind you, licking his lips as hugs you from behind, “Baby girl, are you almost done?” he whispers loudly enough that the unwanted man in front of you can hear, “Who is this?” he asks, eyes now pointed forward.
The stranger's confidence falters under Heeseung's intense scrutiny, his eyes widening slightly as he realises the gravity of the situation. Heeseung's demeanour is unmistakably protective, his stance leaving no room for doubt about his intentions. His eyes are so dark that the boy knows that one wrong move will have Heeseung pouncing on him.
“I’m Woobin,” he says almost inaudibly. It’s amazing how quickly he resigned from his cocky attitude as soon as Heeseung made his presence known.
"Do you work here, Woobin?" Heeseung's voice is a low rumble against your ear, his lips trailing a path of kisses down your neck to your shoulder. His touch is electrifying, sending shivers down your spine as his hands caress your stomach, his thumbs tracing delicate patterns against the skin beneath your shirt
The butterflies in your tummy are fluttering around as if they’ve been disrupted from their nest by his touch. This is new, he hasn’t done this before, usually opting to just stand between you and potential danger. It's exhilarating and maddening all at once, the line between protection and possessiveness blurring in the heat of the moment.
Heeseung knows that if he simply said he was your security, it wouldn’t deter the man, he had to think on his feet. That and the way he touched you evoked something inside him, protectiveness laced with something else. 
“I don’t work here, I-”
“Then get your hands the fuck off my girl,” Heeseung interrupts Woobin, maintaining eye contact with him as he bites down a little on the nape of your neck, almost like he’s physically marking you as his own in front of a potential suitor.
Your head is in a frenzy, knowing that Heeseung is stepping far beyond his role of protection, yet, you don’t stop him. It would be lying to say that his lips didn’t feel good on your skin, the way his fingers lightly gripped the softness of your stomach gave you fanny flutters like nothing else; as he boldly stakes his claim, you can't help but feel a surge of desire mingling with frustration
But this is also the man that is currently cockblocking you right now, stopping you from getting Woobin’s number and potentially a good fuck that you’re clearly in desperate need of; why else would you be getting turned on by Heeseung right now? This is the man you cannot stand, he is the last person on earth you want to be with. 
Woobin awkwardly laughs and backs away, giving a slight wave to you as he walks out of the store, leaving you both in the thick silence.
As his form disappears into the distance, Heeseung stands by your side, his stare unflinching as he watches the threat go by, proud of himself for handling the situation quickly. Heeseung hasn’t let you go, his hands moving from your tummy to your waist, gripping it softly.
You don’t know what to do, still standing in a haze of shock and confusion, your eyes watching the back of Woobin with intensity. The man behind you didn’t even have to say much before Woobin was running with his tail between his legs.
Honestly, you know Heeseung can be intimidating, but this must have been a new level, even for him. You couldn’t see his eyes, yet, you know they held only room for intimidation.
Heeseung's attitude relaxes somewhat, but his protective stance remains firm. He slowly releases you from his grip, placing one last kiss on your neck for what reason he doesn’t know. 
You take a moment to compose yourself, internally dealing with the mixed feelings of the encounter before pure rage flushes over you, “What the fuck was that?” you seeth, twisting your body to face him.
“What was what?” he asks, unfazed by your angry demeanour. 
Slamming the vests back on the rack, you face him, your shorter stature suddenly being a hindrance as you try to act tough, “You know what! You just cockblocked me for no reason,” you ball your fists to the side of your hips, trying not to cause too much of a scene in the store. 
“Good. God knows what he had, he was a creep,” Heeseung’s face is stoic, not giving much of his emotions away which only serves to piss you off more. 
You wanted him to look a little bit sorry for overstepping, to say he was at least sympathetic towards your frustration. Instead, he just stands there, insulting the boy he didn’t even know.
Letting out a groan, you shut your eyes and unclench your hands, “I can’t ever have any fun with you around,” you try to calmly explain but as the words leave your lips, you begin to question why you’re trying to be civil in the first place. 
This man is the bain of your existence, the reason you haven’t had sex in months, he is utterly infuriating and here he stands in front of you with no remorse for ruining your life.
Heeseung nods, feigning understanding as he leans down to make eye contact with you, his nose almost touching yours, “I don’t know, baby girl, it seems like you were having a blast a second ago,” he says smugly, a half smirk creeping onto his face.
You beam red, embarrassment and anger mixing to create a shade of crimson you didn’t know you could make. He was frustrating, arrogant, irrational, rude, cocky, and overall just irritating. You hate Lee Heeseung.
Winking at you, he nudges his nose with yours before standing back up, his figure back to towering over you, “Pick the one on the right and let’s get a move on,” he says, tucking his hands into his pockets and taking one giant step back. 
It was like he was mocking you, giving you your space after infiltrating it as if he wasn’t leaving wet kisses on your neck five minutes ago. 
With a huff, you face the two vests once again, looking between both options, each one having its own backer. You bite your lip and contemplate over them, choosing the one on the right.
_____
As you apply your final coat of mascara, you take one long look in the mirror. You look great, everything about you falls into place perfectly, your hair and makeup only adding to your beauty while the dress you’re wearing hugs you nicely.
Obviously, you don’t tell Heeseung that you had a party tonight, knowing that he would lock you up like some Disney princess in your castle. If there was one thing Heeseung hated more than men coming into your zone, it was parties where tons of men could. 
The last party you went to was just before Heeseung arrived on the scene, the bodyguard now never letting you experience any joy or social gatherings that weren’t accompanied by him or a simple meet-up with friends. ‘There’s too much risk at a party’ he will always tell you.
A knock on your bedroom door almost makes you drop the mascara wand but you catch it before it causes disaster. 
“I’m coming in,” Heeseung’s voice travels through the door before he swings it open. His eyes trail over your body as he assesses the outfit, “A bit dressed up for a night in with me, no?” he tries to pass it off as a lighthearted joke but he knows he’s about to argue with you about your plans.
“Oh, y’know, just thought I would try and make an effort to sit in and watch Louder Milk for the nth time,” you roll your eyes, twisting the mascara shut and turning to face him.
Heeseung grumbles, “Let’s cut to the chase where you tell me where you plan on going and I obviously stop you,” he crosses his arms and tilts his head expectantly.
But you can’t let him win, not this time around. It’s your best friend’s birthday night out and if you miss it, you’ll never be invited to anything again; you can’t miss a 21st birthday party and expect there not to be consequences, especially not in your circle of friends.
You finish getting ready with a sense of purpose, carefully placing your lip oil and hairbrush into your YSL bag. "I've got plans," you announce, nonchalantly shrugging your shoulders.
His brows furrow slightly. "You never mentioned we had plans tonight," he remarks, a hint of curiosity in his voice.
"We don't have plans, Heeseung. I do. And you weren’t invited," you retort, your tone tinged with sarcasm as you shoot him a playful smirk.
He raises an eyebrow, trying to decipher your intentions. "A party? A date?" he ventures, scanning your attire and deducing that this isn't just a casual outing.
As you attempt to breeze past him, he swiftly moves to block the doorway with his arm, his muscles tensing as he grips the doorframe. You lock eyes with him, noticing the frustration brewing beneath the surface.
His jaw tightens as you stand your ground, a silent challenge passing between you, "Tell me where you're off to," he demands, his voice taking on a more authoritative tone.
You really need to get fucked because he’s suddenly turning you on, and his body starting to look like a jungle gym. Regardless of the fury and hatred for the boy in front of you, when he got angry, he was a new level of hot; it’s probably the reason you subconsciously push his buttons.
“I am going to Ryujin’s birthday party,” you confess, taking hold of his arm and trying to pry it from the wall, but he’s too strong and it doesn’t work. Even with all your efforts, it doesn’t budge.
Smiling at your feeble attempts to move him, Heeseung cockily leans on one foot, the other tucking behind his leg as he watches you struggle.
Undeterred, you try to slip under his arm, but he effortlessly scoops you up and returns you to your room, closing the door behind you with a practised ease. His years dealing with drunks at his previous job have endowed him with certain skills in handling runaways..
"Don't make this difficult, Y/N," he warns.
"You're the one being difficult! It's my best friend's birthday. Are you seriously telling me I can't go? I'm not in danger, you know," you retort angrily, frustration evident in your voice.
Heeseung understands that you're completely oblivious to the dangers lurking around your family, shielded by your innocent perspective. No one has bothered to inform you about your father's involvement in money laundering and his dealings with shady men. In your eyes, having a bodyguard feels like an unnecessary intrusion into your life rather than a protective measure.
"Listen, let's just imagine I let you go. Where is it?" he asks, a tinge of apprehension in his voice.
"Serenity," you reply, already sensing the tension building.
Heeseung's eyes widen in disbelief, "Serenity? The bar down by the loch? Are you serious?" he exclaims, his concern evident.
It was a losing battle the moment you opened your mouth. The bar isn’t known for its good reputation, it’s sleazy and grim, and despite its calm name, no one who occupies the bar could be considered peaceful.
Ryujin picked it simply because she likes to cosplay as a poor person sometimes, wondering what it would be like to live on the other side of wealth while obnoxiously spending a shit ton of money, completely rendering her ideas pointless.
You don’t agree with it but she is your best friend, the only person that gave you the time of day when you didn’t have a penny to your name all those years ago.
"I am not letting you step foot in that place," Heeseung asserts firmly, drawing a line in the sand.
“She hired out the whole bar, it’s not like anyone can just walk in,” you try to reason back but it doesn’t work as Heeseung’s resolve remains the same.
“You aren’t going, end of discussion. The whole neighbourhood is trouble and your friend is fucking stupid for this,” he scratches his jaw as the worst-case scenarios pop into his head. He might not like you but he really can’t stand some of the thoughts popping into his head, the urge to protect you growing stronger by the second.
The loch is a small part of town, mostly made up of deadbeats and criminals. Word spreads fast around there and there is a high chance the scums of the area know a bunch of snooty rich kids are going to be there for the picking.
You need to go, you can’t cancel any more plans so you need to think of something quick, “You can come with me,” you suggest, stepping closer to him. Would it be overbearing and annoying to have him there? Yes but at least you would be there. And it might actually be good if he was, after all, he is good at his job; you feel safe around him and the more he’s warning you away from Serenity and the loch, the more you’re starting to want his protection.
“I thought I wasn’t invited?” He raises his eyebrows sceptically.
Placing your hands on his chest, you trail them up to his shoulders, a pout forming on your lips. "Well, I'm inviting you now. Please, Heeseungie?" you implore, employing your best puppy-dog eyes and fluttering lashes in an attempt to sway him.
Typically, your pleading face doesn't work on him, but the combination of your hands massaging his tense shoulders and the endearing nickname starts to chip away at him.
"Fine. We can go for an hour or so, and then I'm taking you straight back home, understand?" he relents, already second-guessing his decision.
You squeal with joy, wrapping your arms around his neck and jumping up and down. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Finally, you've managed to reason with him.
Pushing you away gently, he clears his throat. "Be at the car in 10 minutes before I change my mind."
This is going to end disastrously.
_____
"Remember—"
"In your line of sight at all times," you finish, a hint of exasperation in your voice as you recite Heeseung's usual mantra.
Heeseung unbuckles his seatbelt with a grunt, his irritation clear as he mutters curses under his breath. He can't believe he's ended up in this mess, much less mocked by you. He is well aware that this is a recipe for disaster especially as he examines the area and notices gritty individuals prowling around the loch's borders, waiting for an opportunity to strike.
Heeseung is confident in his ability to handle himself; it's your safety that concerns him the most as he observes a suspicious figure crossing in front of your car.
You waste no time darting out of the car and hurrying to the club's entrance, leaving Heeseung trailing behind, a gust of wind in your wake.
"This fucking girl," he grumbles to himself as he parks the car and follows after you. He sees through your tactic—trying to get inside before him so he'll be left waiting outside while you venture off on your own. But he's not falling for it today.
He catches up to you just as you're about to give your name to the bouncer, his arm instinctively settling around your waist. The bouncer eyes Heeseung with a sceptical gaze, taking note of his attire and demeanour, which hardly scream 'rich kid bellend.'
As Heeseung squeezes your side, you shoot him a playful smirk over your shoulder. "Oh, this is my boyfriend. He's just trying to get into character for the place—dirty-chic and all that," you quip sarcastically, gesturing between him and the bouncer.
The bouncer chuckles at your comment, nodding in amusement. "You've done a good job. I almost mistook you for one of those creeps by the water," he jests, stepping aside to let you both in.
Heeseung doesn't react to your teasing or the bouncer's remarks. He's grown accustomed to such comments after spending the past few months with you and your friends. From being called shabby to poor, to filthy to crude, he's heard it all. Sometimes you apologise for your friend's words, but he knows the damage is already done.
It’s times like that that he has some faith in you, that you aren’t all diamonds and gold, that you do have a heart underneath it all.
Sticking close to you, you both end up at the bar ordering a gin and tonic for you and a water for himself. He knows everything about you by now, the constant watchful eye on you has got him to learn your favourite everything, so he finds himself ordering for you more times than not. That is, when you let him be actively seen with you.
"Can you vanish over there while I find Ryujin?" you ask, already scanning the room for the birthday girl.
Nodding, Heeseung points towards a nearby wall. "I'll be over there. If anything happens, remember to stay where I can see you. Don't run off; I will find you. And if you're going to the bathroom, come and get me," he advises, his tone firm as he leans down to emphasize the importance of his instructions.
"Yeah, sure," you reply casually, already making your way over to your friends at the other end of the bar, their excited screams and squeals guiding your path.
True to his word, Heeseung gives you space but remains vigilant, never taking his eyes off you. He's pleasantly surprised when three hours pass, and you're only on your second drink. Normally, he's had to carry you out of brunch with your university friends, and that's not even bottomless. Part of him thinks you’re remaining sober for your own vigilance, which makes him happy that you aren’t so reckless to get drunk in an unfamiliar setting around a lot of people you don’t know.
As the night progresses, Heeseung's gaze remains fixed on you from his position against the wall. He observes the way you interact with your friends, the genuine joy evident in your laughter and the twinkle in your eyes. Seeing you light up like this is a rarity, but it warms something inside him to witness you truly enjoying yourself.
Despite his reservations and occasional frustrations, Heeseung takes his role of keeping you safe very seriously. The thought of anything happening to you weighs heavily on his mind, not just because of the potential consequences from your father, but because he has come to genuinely care about your well-being. It's a realisation that surprises even him, how much he's come to feel responsible for you beyond just fulfilling his duties as a bodyguard.
Day by day, Heeseung finds himself spending more time in your presence. Even when he should be stationed at the front door, he often finds himself drawn to your side, whether it's watching TV shows together or cooking dinner. Sure, these moments are often punctuated by arguments over his choice of shows or the random spices he adds to your meals, but they keep things interesting, injecting a sense of spontaneity into his otherwise regimented routine.
And truth be told, he finds a strange satisfaction in winding you up, relishing the sight of the vein in your forehead protruding whenever you're exasperated with him. Despite the occasional clashes, there's an undeniable chemistry between the two of you, a dynamic that keeps him on his toes and reminds him that guarding you isn't just a job - it's become a massive part of his life.
Recently, he has become extra protective over you, the incident at the Prada store being a prime example. Men like Woobin are not the ones he should be protecting you from, but he can’t help it, you’re too precious to be led off by the likes of him.
Shaking his head, he disregards his last thought. You’re not precious, you’re a princess, a snooty diva with an attitude problem.
This is what he has to tell himself every day.
He watches you go up to the bar and sit on the stool as you order another drink, but his attention shifts to a familiar face in the crowd. Woobin - and he is walking straight for you. Like he hasn’t dealt with him enough today, it was almost as if thinking about him that manifested him straight into your lap.
As Woobin twists the stool you're sitting on to face him, Heeseung's grip on the empty cup tightens, his knuckles turning white with the effort to maintain his composure. He knows he can't just stride over there like he did at the store; he crossed a line then, kissing your neck was too far, and biting down on you to mark you was too far. But the possessive feeling that had simmered earlier resurfaces as he watches Woobin casually tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear.
His mind races with a mantra, a desperate attempt to keep his emotions in check. The real threat to you is outside, not in here. The real threat to you is outside, not in here. The real threat to you is outside, not in here.
But as he watches Woobin's hand graze your leg, Heeseung's resolve crumbles.
"Fuck this," he mutters under his breath, his anger boiling over as he pushes himself off the wall and throws his cup away. Without a second thought, he makes a beeline for you, determined to put an end to this unwanted intrusion.
You suddenly feel Heeseung's chest press against your back, his presence feels overpowering, his aura dark and intense. You glance at Woobin and notice the fear flicker back into his eyes, just like before, as Heeseung speaks with a menacing tone, "Have you got a death wish or something, mate?" His question hangs in the air, a clear warning.
Woobin takes a step back, but despite the quiver in his pupils, he refuses to back down. "She obviously isn't satisfied with you," he retorts, attempting to sound tough. "She hasn't even tried to bat me off."
You scrunch your face in disbelief at Woobin's audacity. His attempt to turn the situation on you is off-putting, and any attraction you may have felt towards him suddenly dissipates.
Heeseung's gaze shifts down to you, his eyes hooded as he leans in close. "Is that true, baby girl? Do I not satisfy you?" His words send a shiver down your spine, leaving you momentarily speechless. Before you can form a response, he leans even closer, his breath hot against your cheek as he whispers in your ear, "You better agree with me, or else I'll punch his lights out, right here, right now."
His threat hangs in the air, leaving you feeling torn between conflicting emotions. As you struggle to find the right words, Heeseung's lips graze the skin of your earlobe, sending a jolt of sensation through you. You're unsure whether he's doing this to turn your mind to mush so you can do nothing but agree with him or assert his dominance over Woobin, who watches with a flushed neck, clearly intimidated by Heeseung's display of possessiveness.
Nodding slowly, you side-eye Heeseung, “Y-you do,” you say quietly but as he bites down on your ear and you yelp, you speak up a bit more confidently, “You do satisfy me.”
“Good girl,” he whispers, placing one final kiss on your ear, “You heard her, so get the fuck away from her, or I will throw your body in the loch and no one will even care to look for you,” he challenges Woobin, threatening him like some gangster.
As Woobin backs up and mutters ‘This is not fucking worth it’, Heeseung smiles triumphantly, knowing he’s scared him off for good. Heeseung fixes your hair, gathering it all to sit nicely at the back, running his fingers through it as he silently warns any other men in the club that you’re no one but his.
You hate to admit it, but it turns you on a little.
But your responsible head twists back on and you understand what Heeseung has done again, “Heeseung,” you slap his chest and push him away, “Stop fucking babying me!” Standing up from the stool, you weave through the people at the club in search of the exit, Heeseung’s antics finally pushing you too far. 
"I am doing my job, Y/N," he shouts over the chatter and music, his voice barely audible amidst the din of the club.
"No, you aren't. That is not your job," you retort, your voice rising above the noise. "Pretending to be my boyfriend and scaring away potential fucks is not part of the remit!"
Your words hang in the air, heavy with frustration and disappointment. You push him away one more time, creating some distance between you before storming out of the club.
Fuming with anger and adrenaline, you make your way through the car park, your mind racing with conflicting emotions. Part of you resents Heeseung for his overbearing behaviour, but another part can't deny the thrill you felt with his protective display. It's infuriating to admit, but the feeling of his possessiveness is sending shivers straight down south, You hate that you're even thinking like this.
His touch on your ear and neck lingers in your mind, igniting a whirlwind of desire and confusion. You're not thinking straight anymore, and if Heeseung catches up to you, you're not sure how you'll react - whether it'll be pure anger or pure lust.
Either way, you need to get this steam out. 
“Y/N! Get back here right now!” he shouts, pushing past the men who are ogling your figure. 
As you hear his voice, something takes over you. You pull the first guy you see into a kiss, holding onto this jacket as your mouth moves against his.
Heeseung sees red, blood red as he watches you kiss the stranger. It’s reckless behaviour, your lips moving roughly against a guy probably twice your age but, of course, the guy doesn’t mind. He wraps his arms around you to bring you in closer. That gesture shakes Heeseung from his shock coma, his emotions fueling him.
But Heeseung can't stand idly by any longer. With a guttural growl, he yanks the man away from you, his anger propelling him into action. He delivers a punishing punch to the man's face, the force of it sending him crashing to the ground, sprawled across the gravel of the car park.
Heeseung doesn't stop there. He delivers a few more swift kicks to the man's prone form before turning his attention to you. Grabbing your arm with bruised hands, he hauls you towards the car, his grip tight and unforgiving.
"You're so fucking irresponsible," he seethes, his voice dripping with venom as he struggles to contain the storm of emotions raging inside him. The veins in his neck bulge with the intensity of his anger, his eyes flashing with a dangerous fire.
“Sorry if I want to have some fun,” you argue back, trying your hardest to release yourself from his firm hold.
As you both approach your car, he opens the door and shoves you in, “And kissing and fucking random guys is fun?” he slams the door behind you once he knows all your limbs are inside the vehicle.
Striding over to the driver's seat, he gets in quickly, locking the doors so you can’t make a quick escape. You don’t even attempt to try and flee, already knowing you’re only going to end up in a game of cat and mouse all night, and in this weather with your dress isn’t fun. 
“I’m 20 years old, nearly 21, I can fuck if I want to,” you shout back, slamming your hand on the backrest to hammer home your point. You are old enough and wise enough to make your own decisions, Heeseung is only there to make sure you don’t end up getting kidnapped or whatever it is your dad thinks will happen to you.
"It's not wanting to fuck that is my problem, it's who you want to fuck," he growls, his voice tinged with bitterness.
You want to slap him, angry that he doesn’t seem to get it, “I don’t get to fuck anyone thanks to you,” you retort back with venom laced in your voice.
His entire body turns to face you, his gaze piercing through you as he asks, "You want to get fucked?"
“Yes! Obviously!”
Heeseung lunges towards you, pressing his lips to yours in a matter of seconds to your answer. At first, you’re confused at what is happening, the unfamiliar feeling of his mouth melting into yours causes your head to thump.
But as he moves you to lay back, flicking the seat to recline all the way back, you find yourself chasing his body with yours, your lips like magnets as they draw themselves back to his. He tastes sweet, not like how you expected, you were presuming it’s the flavour of his vape he swears he doesn’t use.
Shuffling your way up the seat, you spread your legs so he can situate himself neatly in between you, knees resting against the edge of the seat for support, his hands roaming all over your body and his kisses never faltering. 
He was hungry for you, those tiny tastes of your neck served as appetisers before the main meal which was your mouth and tongue. Roughly, he brings one of his palms to cover your throat as squeezes, the consequential parting of your lips as you gasp gives him access to lick into your mouth. The grip on your throat is heavenly, just tight enough to make your brain go fuzzy but not to the point you think you’re in danger.
With a quick roll of his hips, you feel the outline of his cock being pushed onto your core, even through jeans he’s prominent, only building up your anticipation more. He does this a few times, each time the rough edges of his zipper rub your barely covered clit, eliciting a moan from you.
Heeseung's smirk widens at your response, his gaze flickering with desire as he watches the desperation in your eyes. Without hesitation, he leans in closer, his breath hot against your ear as he repeats his question, this time with less anger and more longing. "You want to get fucked?"
Your breath catches in your throat at his words, your desire for him burning hotter than ever before. "Yes, please, Heeseung," you whimper, using your hands to hold his hips against yours as you rut yourself desperately against him, humping his length through his jeans. 
Heeseung almost feels bad for you, clearly, he underestimated how much you needed to seek release. No wonder you were willing to entertain someone like Woobin. He had to make this worth the frustration he has been causing you.
The pressure of Heeseung's hand around your throat tightens, eliciting a gasp from your lips as you struggle to catch your breath, "You sure you want to fuck a guy like me?" he hisses, his voice tinged with both agitation and desire, the intensity of his gaze burning into yours.
Despite the lack of air, you manage to choke out your response, your voice laced with desperation, "Yes, Heeseung, I need you."
A smug smirk plays across Heeseung's lips at your admission, his grip on you tightening ever so slightly. "Oh, I know you need me, Sweetheart," he replies, his tone dripping with confidence. "You're staining my jeans as we speak." His words send a shiver down your spine, a potent mixture of arousal and frustration coursing through you.
But then his question cuts through the haze of desire, forcing you to confront the reality of the situation, "I'm asking if you want to go back to little Woobin now?" he taunts, knowing full well the answer already. He just wants to hear you say it.
With a shake of your head, you release your hold on his hips and begin to unbutton his jeans, determination blazing in your eyes. "No," you confess, your voice barely above a whisper. "No, I only want you."
“Thought so,” he kisses you again before releasing your throat, focusing his hand's attention on ridding you of your pants while you work to get his trousers out of the way. He tugs your underwear down, tossing them to his side of the car before lining himself up at your hole.
Wrapping your legs around his hips, you try to push him to slip into you, but he keeps his hips rigid, only making you look more desperate for him. He taps your clit with the head of his cock, each time it slaps down, he echoes it with a tut.
“You don’t even know if I’ll fit,” his voice whispering in your ear as he licks the shell of it, “All those preppy rich boy cocks aren’t anything like mine,” he takes your wrist in his hand and guides you to feel his length as it sits neatly in your folds, “See?”
Whining, you pout, knowing he’s just teasing you for badness, “I promise I can handle it,” you say lowly, pumping his cock between your cunt and hand. The motion makes Heeseung hiss in pleasure, the feeling of his cock trapped only adding to his anticipation of being inside you.
He moves in for a chaste kiss on your lips, his touch soft despite the intense need between you, "I'll go slow," he tells you, his words a balm in the midst of the intense moment. Even in the heat of passion, Heeseung is driven by his instinct to protect you.
With one swift movement, he slides into your heat slowly, letting you stretch around him. Surprisingly to both of you, your pussy is accommodating him perfectly, the stretch a little painful but not unbearable. He shallowly moves his hips back and forth, watching his cock disappear into you further and further each time until he’s bottoming out and tapping your cervix lightly.
Heeseung isn't wrong when he tells you that no other cock you've had can compare to his. Every curve and ridge of his dick seems perfectly designed to hit every sweet spot inside you, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. It's an otherworldly sensation, the way he gains traction with each movement, his confidence growing as he senses your comfort and willingness to take more.
"You're so tight, baby girl," he murmurs between kisses.
Lost in the throes of passion, you cling to Heeseung, your bodies moving in perfect synchronisation as you lose yourself in the sensation of him filling you completely. Each thrust sends shockwaves of pleasure coursing through you, igniting a fire that burns hotter with each passing moment.
Heeseung's hands roam over your body, exploring every curve and contour with a hunger that matches your own. His touch is both gentle and possessive, his fingers leaving a trail of fire in their wake as they trace the contours of your skin. The pads of his fingers roughly grab your tit that’s managed to escape your dress, twisting your nipple between his finger and thumb.
Your hands are in a similar position, running along his toned stomach under his shirt, trying to commit it to memory, just in case you never get to do this again. You wish this was happening with zero clothes in the way but the desperation between you both got in the way. 
As the intensity of your desire builds, Heeseung's movements become more urgent, his thrusts growing deeper and more powerful with each passing moment. You can feel the tension coiling within you, the promise of release looming on the horizon like a distant storm.
“You’re squeezing me so tight, Y/N. I won’t last much longer,” he admits, knowing that he’s close to the edge himself.
“Need it, I need you to cum,” you moan loudly, your hand leaving his skin to find your clit, rubbing it vigorously as you try and speed along your orgasm.
Your words drive Heeseung to pound into you faster, willing both of you to come undone together. The car shakes as you both speed up your movements, your hips trying to match his rhythm to create a deeper impact with each buck of his hips.
With a final, desperate thrust, Heeseung drives you both over the edge, sending you spiralling into ecstasy. Wave after wave of pleasure crashes over you, leaving you breathless and trembling under him, the ropes of his cum coating your heat. 
“Oh, fuck,” he groans, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he feels his cock swell and throb inside of you, “Cum with me, Y/N. Please.”
Circling your arms around his shoulders, you hug him close to you as his body shivers, still reeling from the aftermath of his climax. You lay like that for a few minutes, processing everything that just transpired between you both.
“Are you okay?” he asks, holding himself up to face you, one hand wiping your sweaty bangs from your forehead.
Nodding, you shut your eyes, massaging his shoulders lightly as you let bliss take over you, “I feel great,” you smile.
Heeseung grabs your pants from the driver seat and bundles them up, using them as a makeshift cloth to clean you up, spitting on them before running them along your swollen cunt, “We can’t do this ever again,” he says quietly, his breathing starting to regulate again.
“What do you mean?” you lean on your elbows, looking up at him with confusion, “Was it not okay?”
Of course, it was okay, Heeseung thinks your pussy might be the best he’s ever had, but it’s not logical to try and keep this fantasy alive. You were too different, this encounter was fueled by anger and rage between you both, hardly the start of a picture-perfect relationship.
He discards your underwear and pulls his own bottoms up, tucking his softening cock into his boxers and jeans, “It was great, but I’m supposed to protect you, not fuck you,” he says, shuffling back into his seat, starting the car.
“We’ll use protection next time,” you shrug, fixing your seat to sit upright, “It’s no big deal.”
Heeseung sighs, his frustration evident as he starts the car and pulls out onto the road. "You know that's not what I mean, Y/N," he replies, his voice tinged with resignation.
The rest of the drive home is filled with silence, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy in the air. Heeseung's thoughts swirl with the fear of losing his job, the guilt of failing to protect you, and the sudden need to be inside you all the time.
“We forget about this, okay?” he asks, eyes flickering to you.
You nod in agreement, but a smirk tugs at the corners of your lips, betraying your true thoughts. Deep down, you know that you won’t forget about it, and this will certainly not be the last time you find yourself fucking Lee Heeseung - You'll make sure of it.
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cyborg-franky · 2 months
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Could you do a HC about the ideal partner for Law, Zoro and Kid? What kind of person they would fall for and which traits it needs for a long lasting relationship ❤️
Oooh yes, I can do this!
Written for a GN reader!
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Law
Law needs someone who can challenge him, and push him out of his comfort zone.
Someone who isn’t scared to argue with him when they think he is in the wrong.
Law also needs someone independent, he can’t handle high-maintenance or clingy people. He needs to know you can make your own mind up and have your own views regardless of what he thinks.
You need to be okay with his family, the heart pirates are alot to handle but he won’t compromise on this. 
Animal lover.
Someone who is okay with limited PDA and knows he has his own way of showing love and affection.
Someone with a wikied sense of humor like his.
Kind, he may not seem it but he needs someone who is soft and kind and tries to bring out his caring side more.
Smart, likes to read, someone who can match him in conversation.
Nerd. If you are also a big nerd into comics he will find common ground with you and feel he can be his true nerdy self around you.
Honest. Law doesn’t like people who lie or try and manipulate him.
If you're loyal to him he’ll be loyal to you.
Alright, so he likes people to be dependent but he also deep down likes being his partners ‘scary dog privilege’ 
Must hate bread. Or eat the bread from his meals for him.
Understanding. Law has some damage and needs someone who gets that.
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Zoro
Zoro doesn’t have a very big checklist of the ‘type of person’ he goes for.
Just don't be loud or bossy and he’ll vibe pretty well with you.
If you are a huge sword nerd he will be all over that and if you also like to work out he will be delighted to have a workout buddy. 
Napping is a must. Either snuggle up with him in the sun and take a nap at his side or simply just be okay with him napping as much as he does. He needs someone laid back, and can’t handle a loud or intense personality to date. 
He is happy to spend all his time with his partner he just needs someone who is also happy to enjoy a comfortable silence with him.
You don’t need to be into drinking, again, as long as you don’t tell him what he can and can’t do he’s happy. He would like to have a casual drink with you sometimes though, when he’s a little tipsy he is happy to go on long rants and talk about his thoughts and feelings.
Be his partner and his drinking buddy.
Be his emotional support compass. Be able to stir him in the right direction, and I do mean physically and not emotionally there.
Grab him his arm and just pull him.
You need to be firm with him. Loyal and honest and also have a good sense of humor. He likes to have a chuckle and he does have a silly side.
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Kid
You need to keep up with this boy. He can’t handle someone who is easily upset or sensitive. He needs someone to match that same wild spark that runs through him.
Have a passion for adventure and don’t be scared to get your hands dirty.
He wants someone who doesn’t shy away from his loud and boisterous nature. Embrace him for him.
Also needs to be liked by Killer. If you don’t pass Killer’s vibe check there is a huge chance you won't pass Kid’s.
He enjoys picking fights and starting arguments, he lives for some passion and some shouting with the person he’s courting so scream, shout, and give him just as good as he does. Challenge him, don’t be scared of offending him.
Be okay with how rough he is, Kid needs someone who understands that and doesn’t try and change who he is, and doesn’t want to sand down his edges.
Be there for him regardless of his flaws and he will open up to you and you can make each other a better person with time and understanding.
Love the thrill of the fight. Nothing makes his heart sing like fighting a hard battle side by side with the person he loves.
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pathetic-sapphic · 6 months
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arcane characters and their toxic traits in a relationship?
Arcane characters and their toxic traits
a/n: it is almost 5 am so i haven't proofread it yet ;; hope you'll enjoy it regardless
VI
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Tries to take on all the burden and suffering on her shoulders. She never wants you to get hurt or to bother you so she'd rather suffer in silence. This greatly affects your communication as she may get distant whenever she's dealing with some problems, which in turn may make you think that you did something wrong and that she's ignoring you. This simply comes from a traumatic past where Vi always had to take accountability and sacrifice herself for others. She will work on it once she sees the way it affects your relationship though. She just doesn't want to be a burden.
JINX
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Very insecure when it comes to your love and loyalty towards her. Jinx is so used to thinking that everyone will eventually abandon her and you're the one person she really cannot lose. Because of this, she will often come off as overprotective and possessive. You will need to make your boundaries clear and reassure her often. Because she's so scared of losing you, sometimes she will go to drastic ends in order to make sure you're still happy with her and don't want to break up. Can also be very impulsive and has trouble sticking to the plans you two made.
CAITLYN
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Can come off as insensitive when it comes to finances. Of course, she understands that many people aren't quite as well-off and Caitlyn genuinely cares for everyone but sometimes she doesn't quite understand how affluent she is. She might overwhelm you with expensive gifts, luxurious trips or over the top galas. She won't understand if you're ever hesitant when buying something or why you always make sure to see what's on sale at the market. It will take some time getting used to and you'll have to explain to Caitlyn the differences between your upbringings. Caitlyn isn't a judgemental partner, she just likes to spoil you, though she will tone it down if she notices you getting uncomfortable.
EKKO
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Very stubborn when it comes to asking for or receiving help. He will push you away and hide his wounds or problems from you. Ekko is just so used to handling things on his own that he hates the idea of letting you bear his burden. He needs a long talk with you where you'll show him your support and help him realize the importance of confiding in one another. Ekko doesn't realize that it isn't a one-sided thing, meaning that if he helps you out when you need it, you'd do the same for him. Sure, he has the Firelights, many of them who are his friends but he rarely felt comfortable enough to confide in anyone. It's easy to forget that he is just a boy, trying to shoulder the weight of the world, and that he doesn't have to do it all alone.
SEVIKA
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Surprisingly inexperienced when it comes to romantic relationships. Sevika rarely gets attached to someone, beyond the sexual sense. For her, lovers are people she sleeps with to release the tension and frustration that builds up during her shift. She never truly had a partner, someone to whom she can show her soft side, someone who will cherish her beyond her body and money. Because of this, she often struggles with showing love towards her partner in a non-sexual way or a way that doesn't include physical touch. Words. That is the biggest problem for Sevika; expressing her appreciation and adoration through kind declarations is something that will take a while for her to learn.
SILCO
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Silco is often too focused on his cause towards Zaun and forgets his other priorities besides that one. This causes him to overwork and come off as cold towards anyone he deems a threat to his goal. Because of this, he may ignore his partner whenever he's stressed out and deep into work. He's also rarely home, and since he isn't a fan of PDA, it can be hard to deal with the feeling of missing him so much. He tries to make it up to you with gifts but you'll need to explain to him that such luxurious things cannot replace his touch and company.
VANDER
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Similar to Vi (where do you think she got that trait from?), Vander is so used to shouldering everything on his own. He wants to assure for you to live a comfortable and fulfilled life, even at the cost of his own happiness. He works tirelessly to keep the Last Drop and the Lanes afloat and seldom shares the workload with you. You can see how the stress wears him down but he will deny it until he completely bursts under pressure. Vander doesn't understand how much it hurts to see him like this, but some kind words and gentle touches can help when coaxing him into leaning on you too.
VIKTOR
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Workaholic who never takes care of himself. So burdened down with the little time that he has left, Viktor doesn't plan to waste any of it by doing trivial stuff such as eating or resting. As loving as he is, Viktor can be an insanely stubborn partner. You'll probably have to hoist him over your shoulder and lock the door to his office in order to take him away from work for a couple of hours. He doesn't realize just how detrimental the negligence when it comes to taking care of himself is to his health. You need to explain to him that he won't get anywhere by working himself to the grave and you'll probably have to beg him to let you take care of him.
JAYCE
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As smart as he is when it comes to his field of work, Jayce can be quite dense and heedless of other people's feelings. If you're the type of person who doesn't know how to talk about their problems or struggles with communication, there will be some issues in your relationship with Jayce. He's the type of person who asks you what's wrong and, once you give him a half-assed 'Nothing, I'm fine.', he goes all 'okay :D', pats your back and wanders off. You need to be direct and blunt with him because hints and exaggerated sighs simply won't do the trick.
MEL
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Mel is an incredibly intelligent woman who knows how to get what she wants. This means that she can be quite manipulative at times, I mean you have to be if you want to succeed in politics. She'd never act that way with you on purpose, of course not, but it may happen unintentionally. She is also another workaholic who may appear too cold with her feelings but this is simply because she's hesitant to bring her walls and defenses down. It'll take a lot of time and patience to see her vulnerable side.
GRAYSON
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Grayson is sort of a combination between Viktor and Vander; works too much and is too selfless for her own good. Grayson takes her job very seriously, safety of the citizens is of the utmost importance to her. This leads to her neglecting her own well-being and health. Lots of caffeine and many long nights in the office are spent by Piltover's Sheriff and, the older she gets, the more it wears down on her. It's hard to ignore the bags under her eyes or the tiredness in her voice as she drags herself into your shared home late at night.
AMBESSA
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Quite cold and guarded, someone who doesn't appreciate or understand feelings like mercy or kindness. She believes that every single person is inherently selfish and wants something from her. This is why she doubts your good nature so much in the beginning. It has been a long time since Ambessa let herself get involved romantically with someone so she has a lot of re-learning to do. This may come with a cost of your feelings being hurt from time to time, especially if you're a sensitive and kind-hearted person. As much as Ambessa loves you and tries to show that, it isn't easy to sweep years of experience under the rug. You'll need to be strong while she gets used to upholding a romantic relationship.
CASSANDRA
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Cold and regal, oftentimes comes off as strict. Cassandra only wants the best for you but sometimes she just doesn't know how to say it. So instead she might go behind your back in order to ensure your safety and happiness. This often backfires, especially because of your opposing opinions. You feel as if she's treating you like a child while Cassandra simply thinks that she's looking out for you. Is also insanely stubborn, it'll take time for her to learn to look at things from your perspective.
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libraincarnate · 1 year
Text
astrology notes: 6 🐉
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quick note: i'm absolutely not an astrologer. these are just a collection of some observations, thoughts, theories, and personal experiences. above all this is just for fun. lastly, these may or may not apply to you but you might find something to be true about your friends, family, or lover. enjoy!
🗡 sag mercury: “be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it.���
🗡 @elysiansparadise had mentioned that people with sun square moon may have parents who have a strained relationship with each other or they may be very incompatible. my friend has this aspect and long before checking her parents’ synastry chart i thought they worked better as friends.
her parents were childhood friends- her mom has an aquarius venus which can be a “friends to lovers” type of placement. they have an 11th house stellium in their synastry chart.
they have been married for a long time- her dad’s venus aspects her mom’s saturn. with that being said, venus represents aphrodite, love, femininity, women, love & mars represents ares, masculinity, men, sex. her dad has venus opposite mars in his natal chart and her mom has mars square venus in her natal chart.
they’re different in the way that moon and the sun are night and day. her dad is more logical & reserved/introverted. her mom is more emotional & social/extroverted. they share the same faith but they also have some important differences regarding their religious beliefs. she’s loud, he’s quiet. etc.
🗡 how many of you with scorpio, mars, or a fire sign in the 8th house have red as your favorite color?
🗡 taurus/libra/venus in the 2nd house: these natives are so naturally beautiful & radiant. they don’t have to try hard at all. they have a personal sense of style. jewelry was made for their bodies.
🗡 libra rising: libra rising is known for having beautiful symmetrical faces. i’ve noticed some people with this placement who don’t have symmetrical faces might wonder why.
#1 you’re human so it’s normal to have an asymmetrical face, most humans do.
#2 you may have have one of your dominant planets in the 1st house. remember that different planets rule different body parts and are associated with different physical features. for example, if you’re moon dominant and it’s in the first house you may have a fuller/rounder & cherub like face. mars dominant 1st house- strong/defined face & forehead, could be androgynous, lusty eyes. saturn dominant 1st house- intimidating smaller eyes, mature face, sharp facial structure/features.
or you may have harsh aspects to your rising sign. for example venus relates to beauty so having venus opposite rising may have an influence on your appearance or how symmetrical your face is.
#3 with that being said having harsh aspects to your rising doesn’t make you unattractive. you're gorg/handsome regardless so who cares.
& if you’re not a libra rising, you can also apply this logic if you don’t have much of your rising sign’s physical traits.
🗡 neptune-venus aspects: wanting to “fix or save him/her” fall in love during the process and live happily ever after.  
🗡 leo mars: might not like when people touch their hair, certain people like hairstylists may be excepted.
🗡  the house your venus is in can show what you like or love about yourself, what others like/love about you. some of your attractive traits & qualities. and what you like about others.
venus in the 1st house: you might really love your self and be an advocate for self love. others may love your personality, your perspective of life, and think you have a beautiful body. you could be attracted to confidence, the way a person carries themselves.
venus in the 10th house: you may like your work ethic, how independent & disciplined you are. others may like the way you take initiative, your ambition, your honesty. you could be attracted to those who possess fame and success.
venus in the 3rd house: you may like the way you think/your way of applying logic and processing information. others may love talking to you, how you have a way with words, your accent. you could be attracted to well kept or veiny hands, people with vehicles like luxurious cars or motorcycles.
venus in the 4th: you may love your mom a lot. like being at home & could be into interior design. others may like your family/being around them, the idea of starting a family with you, your warm and nurturing personality. could be attracted to those who are family-oriented and possess emotional intelligence.
🗡 fixed signs in the 9th house: may be religious. their faith is important to them. they take their spiritual life seriously. a firm believer in whichever doctrine they subscribe to. very devoted individuals. might speak about religion and their beliefs often. often going to a place of worship like church, the mosque, a temple, synagogue, etc.
these aren’t fixed signs but cancer in the 9th gives me mother mary vibes lol. virgo here would probably be quite pedantic and technical regarding things like details about sacred text and spiritual practices/rituals.
🗡 having both gemini and scorpio placements in a chart can make one sneaky, stealthy, ninja, fbi son of a gun. scorpios know how to be secretive, source information, remain in the dark and disguising themselves as your shadow as they observe. able to move around quietly. geminis are fast, agile, also able to source information, devious, double agent like, quick thinkers. they both just know things. always a step ahead.
🗡 jupiter in the 5th or positively aspecting your ascendant or inner planets in the 5th house: winning games, contests, bets, money, prizes without much effort. i remember winning bingo like 5 times in one round and people started getting annoyed lol.
if you read this until the end i hope you enjoyed it & thank you so much for reading. ♥︎♥︎♥︎, those hearts are for you.
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i'd love to hear about manmaru metadede !!! i heard it's really Gay but no one ever details it. not a lot of it is translated too, as far as i know, but i really like it.. any excuse to talk about something you like is good too
NO YEA not a lot is translated and the manga itself is already more niche compared to like, mopupupu so its not too well known. translation efforts have really started picking up the past year though (shoutout to @/kirby-manga-translated they do great work). if it needed to be restated for new followers since i havent tl'd in a while, i know a decent amount of japanese so i read them on my own :)c
shoutout to my guy @/rosakikoza as well for giving me his scans hehe. the majority of images below are his or taken from his scans. the rest are mine
*deep breath* the tangent. im gonna need to put this under a cut dont mind me 😍😍😍 did i say 3 paragraphs? i meant 20. like 20 paragraphs
meta knight is absolutely pathetic and incredibly down bad for dedede this manga. its adorable. multiple people ive talked to or seen have come to the conclusion it seems like he has a huge crush on him. a quick brief for those who dont know but this mangas meta is admittedly Veryyyyy different from how you'd expect a meta knight to be. uncharacteristically friendly and cheerful and. pathetic is really the best word for it. hes kinda a loser. incredibly protective of dedede, he switches between two modes of fussing over him quite a bit and semi-often going into incredible rage bloodlust modes over protecting him or his image (youll see a good amount of jp fanwork depict this version of him as a yandere for that reason)
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theres also been more than one occasion where meta knight tries to commit seppuku upon accidently doing something he sees as unforgivable towards his king (its in the chapter i just screenshotted above too, another time he broke dededes clock and freaked out about it). i-. dont consider this a cute ship thing for the record im just stating it to emphasize the extent of metas obsession towards dedede this manga. the mans got Problems...
apart from that, also quite differing from most interpretations of both of them, both of them seem to genuinely really like spending time around each other all the time. it comes off as casually domestic and is very cute...
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regardless of my attempts to brief it, i dont feel like im explaining this very well so lemme just show you a frankly ridiculous amount of reasons for why i keep feeling like this mangaka ships metadede
-fake kiss: self explanatory
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-fake proposal: also self explanatory
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mk: Will you marry me!?
ddd: Yes!
context for this scene is that theyre rehearsing for a play, but actually its later revealed that meta knight is playing the princess while dedede is playing the male protag so im not exactly sure it makes sense that hes the one proposing here. my speculation is that to make the proposal seem legit for the gag they Had to use meta LMAO but thats just my take
also to be noted, right after kirby hears the proposal he immediately runs off and tries to tell everyone the news before ddd+mk stop him and explain that its fake. hes not thrown off or weirded out at the idea that they could be getting married in the slightest. kirby says gay rights Real i love him sm
-this one is from what i call the memory loss chapter:
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dedede loses his memories from getting hit in the head too hard. the gang figures out that beating dedede up or otherwise causing him injury causes him to regain some of them back though, to which kirby attempts to harm him with increasingly violent means, much to meta knights horror. mk spends the entire chapter trying to protect dedede from him, and it doesnt work obviously, but after a particularly hard hit dedede remembers everyone again... except for meta knight. to which meta knight gets upset about and lets kirby lay into dedede for real. you see where people get the yandere personality from now right. i dont recall this trait coming out too often but ill talk more about it later
-the whole chapter thats a cinderella retelling with dedede and meta knight. also also self explanatory COME ON LOOK AT THIS ONE. LOOK AT IT.
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mk: Y…You're…
ddd: Wow, he's so beautiful!! It's like I'm dreaming…!
-theres the mangaka chapter which is a more recent one
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the gang makes manga for dedede. meta knight's manga is about how cool, brave, and heroic dedede is. mysteriously enough however the only thing hes good at is drawing dededes face and nothing else. the implications of this one drive me absolutely insane. is it supposed to imply that meta knight stares at his face all day?? admires his appearance??? he looks at him so much he basically has his face memorized????? HUH???????? theres no heterosexual explanation for this. acting like a teenager with a crush out here got damn
=various images im sharing out of context because they r cute
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head pats. holding hands and reaching the goal together. peak.
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KNIGHT DRESSUP FOR THE KNIGHT. AHAAHGH
ddd: Hoho, pretty spiffy don'cha think?
mk: Ohh!? It suits you!!
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fellas is it gay to shout "OHH! META KNIGHT!!" with a dopey grin on your face upon being saved like a damsel in distress
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sometimes meta knight acts domestic as fuck too. his copy abilities as he states are: cook! clean!! and sleep!!!
regarding my thoughts on their dynamic in this series overall, i think theyre absolutely adorable. meta knight emits dog energy in this one. eager golden retriever towards dedede, though dedede has his sweet moments towards meta knight too. (viewing it with a shipping lens just for this post ofc) while meta is the more active crusher, some of the stuff above seems to imply that dedede has feelings in return as well :') they just get along really well too its great. theres a different chapter where they perform as a comedy duo. theyve done plays in multiple chapters. its my hc for these versions of them that they love doing performances of all kinds together and do a lot of rehearsals and writing in their free time...
and the yandere stuff i feel like i should address as well. i try not to take some aspects Too seriously because its to be expected things are over emphasized for the sake of the joke with gag mangas. but oh man the man definitely has problems. he needs therapy. i tried to be transparent in listing those aspects as well so people can make their own conclusions on it But theres one more thing id like to mention regarding that
meta knights personality has been shifting to be different from what i listed, as of the most recent volume. my beloved forgotten land arc... a first for this series in that, while the chapters still retain their gag humor and dont take themselves that seriously, its a serialized story that mostly follows along with the game plot that lasts nearly the whole volume (as opposed to other game arcs in this manga being episodic stories, using the games as their theme rather than a full on setting). with the more serious tone of the serialized story, theres a frankly startling hint of character development i never wouldve expected from a gag manga at the end of it
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kirby gets ko'd the first round of the meta knight cup so meta knight joins the meta knight cup instead. turns out when he does that the final boss of the cup is dedede. meta knight Really doesnt want to hurt dedede and so dedede promptly kicks his ass without a second thought and wins the tournament. while the crowd cheers for dedede's victory, meta and dedede have a small talk where dedede tells him he doesnt need to fuss so much about hurting him/him getting hurt. presumably this is supposed to mark the end of meta knights intense overprotectiveness because (its never been clear-cut due to the nature of the manga previously, so its a lil hard to say) dededes shown he can handle himself, or like, isnt some fragile thing. i really hope itll stick around because i think its a great addition to both of their characters. the meta-knights have also been appearing way more frequently as of very recent chapters (ones that havent been compiled into a volume yet) which seem to also hint to meta knight getting more independence to his character from dedede's loyal servant. im very excited to see where it goes :D
and like, last last disclaimer if anyone needed it; even tho i love metadede and i like to see things through ship glasses sometimes i absolutely try my best to keep my biases out of my translations. putting out accurate translations means a lot to me! this entire post is me purposely putting the ship glasses on so please dont take it as "omg metadede is canon in this manga". you know way back when i was the only active translator for this manga someone tweeted at the mangaka on twitter mentioning that there were english translations around and he replied to that person. didnt respond to the fan translation thing specifically but the fact that he could know who i am definitely kinda terrifies me. if anyone goes around saying that his manga is the metadede manga because of me and he even has the slightest sliver of a chance of seeing that i will kill yall fr LOL
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fatuismooches · 2 months
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Love a dedicated fatui blog!<3 I would like to know what you think Dottore would be with a people pleaser s/o? Maybe because they have been neglected as a kid, and tend to ignore their own needs in hopes of pleasing others. Can be headcanon or fic, it’s all up to you<3
Dottore would be confused about why you insist on pleasing others so much. Most of the time it's not beneficial to you, rather the other party receives your time and energy, while you receive nothing. What are you thinking? Why do you run yourself ragged for the sake of others? Obviously, he finds it annoying to see others use you like that, but you seem to be unable to say no. Only accepting with a tired smile. He'd remain silent for a while, observing you and trying to reach a conclusion by himself before he confronts you.
In a way, he can understand a little bit, he never went so far as to try to please others deliberately, but he did want someone to accept him, to understand him. Perhaps you feel a similar way? Still, he does not believe you need the approval of those people. You are better than them. You don't need them. You should prioritize yourself over them. And you have him, do you not? Of course, this is easier said or done, considering how long this kind of behavior has been instilled in you. Despite how you will probably try to dodge his questions he will end up getting an answer out of you eventually. It's Dottore after all.
After you end up spilling your childhood to him, it makes a lot more sense to the scholar. Well, you two are more similar than he initially thought. Although he is not the best at comforting, he would hold your deflated, tired body while you cling to him. However, it makes him wonder how many times he asked you for something and you said yes merely to please him. While he does value your loyalty, he finds no pleasure in forcing you to do something. It's funny to think a man like him could care for another's feelings so much.
From then on Dottore will make sure a segment is by your side as much as possible. This means no one will dare to ask anything of you. And if anyone does, he will find out and make them rescind their request. No exceptions. A part of him wants to keep you in the lab with him for a while so you can catch up on taking care of yourself and not worrying about others for once. Many would say selfishness is a bad trait. But he feels no remorse in teaching you it. He will teach you that you always come first if he has to, regardless of the methods.
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ashersanity · 4 months
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DoL hardcore should be a mod at this point QUICK START BRAINSTORMING IDEAS.
tutorial npc is obviously gonna be replaced with bailey? Cuz it makes more sense? cuz well no tutorial is needed just a note on PC’s bed by a previous victim
“sorry to cut this short but this town is full of lunatics I always feel like I am being watched every time I talk to you I felt like something was off so i started to hide things in your wardrobe paper spray and a Bat, if bailey finds out you have theses he/she will surely take them away so hide them under your bed nobody checks underneath the bed - ???”
That’s all I can think tbh
Honestly, don’t think the game should start that way in my personal opinion. The idea of there being a previous victim before PC would mean this is a normal, everyday thing that happens to everyone regardless of who they are. Vrel has stated a few times before that PC is in fact special, unique. There’s a reason why they have certain traits that no one else possesses in this town like oh, I don’t know.. the ability to transform into a fucking divine being? Angel and demon? Animals too? Not to mention the crazy amount of skills they pick up on as they execute it with perfected movements, better than anyone else in the game. That’s abnormal, obviously so.
Better idea in mind, PC stands out among the others in town, there’s just something that inherently differentiates them from others, catches the unwanted attention of certain.. people, people that you do not wish to attract into your life. It’s inevitable though, isn’t it?
Make your childhood friend head over heels for you, slipping beneath your covers at night as they press themselves further into you, erratic breaths against the nape of your neck. Make the school delinquent pause momentarily in their tracks once they get a glimpse of your figure, making your way to your next class in the hallways, unaware of their eyes on you. The school freak (who’s already one anyway) hidden behind one of the corners, watching your every move and memorizing your schedule down to a T. The avid church goer, gaze transfixed on your praying form with your eyes gently shut, gentle hands clasped together. Having to snap themselves out of it before going back to what they were doing, trying to get that image out of their head.
Even better, don’t specify which mod this is. Make it seem as though this is just the regular version of the game, only to be met with Robin blocking your path, sanity barely discernable in their eyes. “You can’t just go! Bailey’s going to take you away from me! You have to stay!”
No matter where you go, no matter what you do, they’ll always find you, they’ll always like you and they will make sure they’ll have you.
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neptunes-sol-angel · 1 year
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Enjoy!
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Pile One
What makes you attractive are mainly the things that you feel don't make you attractive. I'm seeing you have excellent posture, but hold back on it sometimes because it accentuates how broad your shoulders are, but it's a trait of yours that people love and also admire. Your raspy voice is what's favored by many, and your deep belly laughs are enough to make another persons's day. Daintiness and grace, are what you may feel defines desirability, but the power of your beauty ties to something more freeing, untamed like flames that aren't meant to stop burning. Even if you don't feel confident with your features, people love what you don't conceal, like face blemishes and acne, scars, freckles, your forehead, how frizzy your hair is, and your teeth when you smile. You could be athletic and/or not afraid to get your hands dirty, your presence and how people learn from you is fun. It also seems like a big thing that people find attractive about you is your attention, they love how protective you are about the things and people that you care about, how you bring others out their shell, and you're comforting to be around to the point where even if people don't say what they want from you, they secretly want you to initiate a conversation out of them.
Pile Two
Yours eyes are one of the main things that people find attractive about you, there's something about the shape, but people could love the way that you look when you're sleepy, or your gaze is something that's found to be very tranquilizing and soft to others. Your beauty is very "swaying". You could have a lovely voice, especially if you sing. Your could have mystical facial and body features that people could find unreal or not possible to have without surgery. I'm picking up a lot of demure energy from this pile. Perhaps it took you awhile to know that you're beautiful because of your environment, but it's important to recognize that you have a mesmerizing pull on others with your appearance. People love it when you're confident, but it's the silence about it that seduces them, your eye contact is being brought up again, but I'm also seeing a grin that's both mischievous but irresistible. I keep getting pretty privilege, the energy that your beauty exudes makes people want to give you favors, gifts, or be a provider for you in a way that you won't have to lift a finger.
Pile Three
What makes you attractive is the way that you pamper yourself. If you're into makeup and fashion, you could come across people who try to humble you by saying that you focus too much on your appearance, that they prefer someone who's natural and doesn't wear makeup (even though no one asked what they liked), or tried to tell you that you won't find any success with wanting to be a model or a beauty influencer. But these are projections from people who insult what they can't have or aspire to be if they realized how much control that they actually have over their lives. People see you as very powerful and care-free, and wonder "how does so and so do that? What is their secret", but like Nike—you just do it. Your appearance could be described as sultry, mysterious, yet whimsical. You could have thick and luscious hair, especially if you have curls. But when it comes to clothes, you don't wear the outfit, the outfit wears you. Common first impressions that people could have about you, is that you're intimidating and could potentially be mean or uppity. But like Maddy, from Euphoria, people find out that you're an actual big sweetheart, that helps others find the beauty and confidence with themselves. A beautiful person inside and out. I also feel like your fashion sense isn't at all conditional, you show out whenever, wherever. There's trendsetter energy in this pile too.
Pile Four
Y'all look like money. Everything about you looks rich, regardless of what your finances are. Nothing about you looks cheap when it comes to your clothes and the way that you furnish your house. You guys could make your own clothes, be into flipping house or excellent party decorators. I feel like you're the person to have when it comes to thrifting. People love how not only do you look expensive, but also how assertive and picky you are with your standards. You don't play about your morals, any bad vibes that you pick up about a person, who to be friends with, and who or what you choose to support and spend your money on. What makes you attractive is how out of reach you are. You could be seen as demanding, but people have a soft spot for it and are impressed by someone who knows what they want. You could also been seen as artistic and are extremely detailed when it comes to your work, presentations, gift giving, writing, and lectures. The way that you mentally stimulate people is attractive, and although you may seem mean, people love the way that you're gentle when you teach them about something or when you do acts of service for them. You could be associated with "cancel culture" but people admire you for actually having a legit reason behind your disproval of someone or something and that you aren't hypocritical.
Pile Five
Regardless of the condition your skin is in, people find it to be very beautiful because of it, I'm getting that it has a luminescent glow. Your personality could be jubilant, youthful, and refreshing. You could have full cheeks, doe eyes, button noses, or full pouty lips. People love your side grins. You could be described as someone who's head is always up in the clouds, but at the same time you're sensible. You guys could be a proud plant parent, or love studying biology and botany. Maybe you guys prefer rural environments to live in and could love the cottage-core aesthetic. I'm getting that you guys could also smell really good, maybe it's the perfume or cologne that you wear, but I'm getting something more natural, like your pheromones. People could be attracted to you but can't really figure out why, you're extremely comfortable to be around, and there's something about you that evokes escapism in even the toughest workaholic, your presence could make others want to skip out on their responsibilities, and there's also this gentle aura about you that softens the relationship that people have with themselves emotionally and materially. You guys could also be playfully flirtatious, your beauty is very nymph-like.
Pile Six
What makes you attractive is how spiritual you are. People believe that you have access to secret knowledge or "magic" that could benefit to their healing or elevating their life in some way. There's a lot of alchemist energy in this pile, so people could be fascinated with your growth, or how you always seem to bounce back and transform yourself to something stronger from your pain and losses. Your aesthetic could be considered eccentric and blinding in some way. A lot of attracted to you, but could see you as unapproachable. Like they're Icarus and shouldn't fly towards the sun unless they want to burn, so there's definitely a fear of rejection. But also a deep desire to be intimate with you emotionally or sexually, but also to know the things about yourself that you keep hidden, or about your past. People could also be attracted to how you don't want them, and actually love that you're mean to them and leave them out in the cold. It's like a heart break that they're willing to risk.
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thynisia-pac-readings · 8 months
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[PAC - Your first date together. Please do not copy or repost any part of the reading.]
There are 4 piles. This a general, collective reading as usual, take what resonates, this is for fun! Regardless of the banner, it doesn't have to be a romantic relationship - it could be friends or relatives.
This extensive reading includes sub-questions, signs and quotes! I also read possible things about you and about them, because why not! You can take it as further confirmation that it's your pile. XD
Take a slow breath, clear your mind and intuitively pick an image or number (you can ask your higher self and your spirit guides to help you choose it).
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Pile 1
Signs:
It's 1:11PM I'm not even joking, number 8, relating to each other, reciprocated feelings, sudden confession and realising it's reciprocated, February, Lewis
No way I just got a poem on reciprocity by Cleo Wade!!! Two messages on that; for some it's reciprocated, for others don't waste time on someone who doesn't reciprocate your feelings!
United States, North America, Mexico, area between North and South America.
Astrological placements: Moon domiant, Cancer, Jupiter dominant, Sagittarius, Pisces, Moon conjunct Jupiter. Virgo rising, Gemini rising, Mercury in Aries, Mercury in Capricorn.
Possible things about you:
Life path 7, deep thinker, big on self-improvement and self-reflection. Maybe you're into manifestation as well. You might be very pretty according to societal standards, or you like to take care of yourself and your appearance. I think you're someone very kind and caring to others too. Do you do the same for yourself? Such an empathetic soul. You're a gift on Earth my love, know that.
Maybe you want to fly away, you want some freedom and get away somewhere far, but for some reason you've got to stay where you are. It's alright, all in due time.
Some of you may like Aphrodite or Venus, or you're in that phase of your life that she rules over, such as beauty, goddess energy, sacredness, femininity, etc.
Some of you may want to be a mother really bad, you want your own baby, you love children. A small minority of you could have a child already, but some may get pregnant/be a new father in the near future. :)
Possible things about them: 2 groups came up so you may intuitively pick 1 or 2, or both!
group 1:
they're the ones who feel the same about you haha!
they may also want a child or want their own baby, that's so sweet Pile 1. very caring individuals too and maybe that's something you relate on between each other.
they may feel like you uplift them whenever you speak or are physically with them. I feel like whenever you're around, they don't have these dark thoughts anymore. Maybe you ease their anxiety naturally, without even trying. I feel like they really feel comfortable and safe with you, and whatever the future holds, they hope that you don't let go of them. Actually, they wish to not let go of you. They don't want to. They see you with such respect and admiration, they really love you in that sense. It's not just infatuation or attachment, they love your traits/character.
their love language could be gift giving or handwritten notes.
group 2:
wow, we've got an ambitious and hard working person here. very powerful and independent. wants to rise to the top, they want to be successful and go higher. they want to excel at what they do, career wise or romance. it's like Suga singing "I wanna big house, big car, big ring" (something like that lol). great at multitasking and overseeing plans, but they could tend to be a bit controlling as a result. like their work mindset spills over in the personal life and relationships. it is not very bad though, but they may not realise. For some of them, if you tell them honestly that they're being a bit controlling or disrespectful in certain ways, they will feel bad and apologise and try to correct their attitude. They're not a bad person, they want to do their best so much that they are less self aware.
Your first date together:
How - probably not in the most romantic way? whatever is going to lead to that first date is not peaceful. maybe some misunderstanding or friction has to happen for you two to take that step forward.
Where - somewhere dry or far from water. Or there's not much around, far from the city. i.e. you might go hiking with them for the first date...are y'all dating a German? LMAO. On a more serious note, if you're a woman don't go on first dates where there's literally no one around. Safety first.
What - again could be hiking, rock climbing, risky/outdoorsy activities, dates in nature...
Quote:
"Friendship is a sheltering tree" (Cornwall, L., 2015)
"When we focus solely on validation from the outside world, we end up being very easily controlled by circumstance, but when we remain humble and firmly rooted in our ever-present goodness, we can celebrate our accomplishments and learn from our disappointments without letting them be the things that define us" (Wade, C., 2018)
That's it Pile 1, I really enjoyed reading for you. Remember this is a collective reading, so take what resonates only.
If you want to purchase a reading from me check my masterlist or go straight to my listings here. discount code: TUMBLR
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Pile 2
Hi Pile 2! This is my creative pile <3
Signs:
November, teenager, architecture, museum, fashion lover, gossiping together or telling each other the crispy stuff, someone with a loyal character, someone looking after a garden or wanting to have one - maybe likes flowers.
Being a romantic, someone wants to be in love, someone has Venus in Pisces, someone thinks about love or their crush.
Be careful of trains.
Someone is going through an experience which pushes them to find their inner strength and resolve, which increases their self-confidence.
Venus trine Saturn, Venus in the 8th house.
Hawaii, Japan, Africa/South Africa cities, East China cities, South Korea, your person can be from Argentina
Possible things about you:
Pile 2, I'm getting some of you like gardening and drawing. In particular, you might like bees and are a strong supporter of saving our bees. You might have a green hand. Not even a green thumb, the whole hand lol! Some of you might have had past lives as nature spirits like faes, you might have an affinity with them or have them as spirit guides.
Some of you might know a lot about nature in general or you might even know a lot about indigenous flora and fauna, or specific species of plants. Some of you may have seen orbs of faeries outside...
Possible things about them:
I think the person you're thinking about likes fashion, or for some they might relate to you regarding nature/gardening. They might have fine features or seem delicate and gentle. It feels like looking at ice in their eyes, but it is so gentle. It is reflected in their personality as well. Very kind and calm. Number 33 on the card is jumping out to me, so you might see this number as well.
Ok definitely they are into fashion. For some, this is someone older than you. For others, your person is definitely more mature than their actual age. Like, very very mature and wise. It doesn't feel like it comes from difficult experiences, it feels like they didn't have as much of a difficult upbringing. Maybe they were naturally this way, and good parenting may have helped.
Side note, they could be a bit dreamy.
I don't usually get the past lives card but here it is, so this friend could be from a past life. Or, I'm getting they might remember theirs.
First date together:
They might tell you straight up that they want to go on a date with you. They might text you or ask you face-to-face. You guys have a good connection, very in synch. You two might be very vocal on your date, as in talking a lot and expressing yourself.
Some people in Pile 2 might go karaoke or sing at some point while you have fun together.
Some of you might actually have a unique date where you dress up, put on makeup, get all pretty and fun i.e. cosplay! You might take photos or film your date, you're going to be out there! Ooh lala so fancy! xD
It feels like it's your usual hangout as friends but somehow it's also different, closer and it's getting more realll. I.e. you might get more touchy-touchy this time, they might hold your waist or your hand, or they might kiss your cheek by surprise... Aw this is cute xD
Quotes:
"the time has always been now"
"I will not be a victim"
"you are going to be okay"
"the timing is always right to love someone"
(Wade, C., 2018)
That's it Pile 2, I wish you the best 🤗. Remember this is a collective reading, so take what resonates only.
If you want to purchase a reading from me check my masterlist or go straight to my listings here. discount code: TUMBLR
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Pile 3
Hi Pile 3! What an interesting and sweet pile.
Signs:
November, strong friendship bond that was made naturally, finding your tribe, realising your own value and worth, sticking with your real friends, be grateful for the loving people and goodness in your life.
Neptune in Taurus, Gemini Rising.
Australia, Sydney/Canberra, Pacific Islands, Samoa, Mongolia, Kazakhstan, Russia.
Possible things about you:
You are very shy, secretive, and value personal space and privacy very much.
Some of you like to read physical books.
I'm seeing of you are teenagers, younger girls.
You are a good listener and confident, people always trust you to keep their secrets, and you will not even tell your best friend or your dog a word of it.
You keep many parts of yourself hidden, for example you are secretly very nurturing and creative. You might like little children.
Possible things about them:
I'm seeing yellow and a ball, so I feel like they really like children.
They are also like a big ray of sunlight. They are that person that illuminates the room as soon as they walk in.
They are very honest and open, and perhaps you like that about them.
They are also very warm and compassionate. They bring people in and make sure not to leave out anyone. Never puts themselves above anyone else and aways try to harmonise everyone.
Like you, they dislike discord. You just have a different way to deal with peace/discord and people. But they like your own way of being and they don't want you to change.
Your first date together:
Interestingly enough, I feel like some of you might have your first date with children around, maybe looking after some, i.e. their little cousins or siblings.
Some you might go fishing and/or have a picnic outside.
During this date, they will absolutely love how you don't hide any part of yourself, you're just being yourself and expressing yourself without restriction. You'll come out of your shell because you'll be influence by him, by the children, and you'll be super comfortable overall. You might actually have lots of fun. Scenario example of the date could be that you, them and their little cousins all go fishing, and then you have your picnic nearby; you have fun all day.
I feel like you and your date are seemingly opposite but actually very similar within. You just express yourself differently and process things differently. You might even be a ENFP/INFP or ENFJ/INFJ duo.
Quotes:
"Shepherd-like compassion means considering the benefit of the masses first, so that we place others first and 'I' last". (Yuthok, L. C., 2005)
Aw that's it Pile 3. Thank you for reading. As always, this is a collective reading so take only what resonates and the general ideas with you.
If you want to purchase a reading from me check my masterlist or go straight to my listings here. discount code: TUMBLR
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Pile 4
Signs:
October, fake friend, chasing after someone's love - love is to be received, not chased after, someone wise and mature, compassionate, someone who likes include everyone and whose motto is "we're all in this together"
Someone here has to let go of someone that does not deserve them.
Someone here could receive a letter from the person they are thinking of in this PAC.
Someone's person for this PAC is a romantic relationship and it could be very passionate.
Mars in Scorpio, Mercury square Neptune, Mercury square Pluto, Jupiter in 10th, Jupiter in 12th
Sudan, South Pacific, NZ, Hawaii, Cuba
Possible things about you:
You could be very emotional and sometimes letting emotions get to you, and it might be hard for you to be more in control. I feel like you guys might sometimes let your emotions get the better of you or affect situations you're in. And then you suffer the consequences. I.e. getting overly angry and saying things you regret later, or getting upset, crying, and not being able to react properly and also regretting later on.
I sense some of you are super generous, but you're so kind and compassionate that some people take advantage of you. I feel like a minority of this group are super kind-hearted and never see the worst in people; you never expect people to lie or have bad intentions - or you could be neurodivergent and just not realise it. I'm feeling upset for you 😭
Actually, if you're neurodivergent, it would make sense why it's hard for you to manage your emotions sometimes.
Some of you could have been having a hard time taking care of yourself and organising things ahead, almost feeling like a ghost or a shell. You're especially lacking self-care and that's been taking a toll on you. I also sense that it's causing you to feel disconnected from yourself. You could be trying to desperately hold on to yourself.
Overall, Pile 4, you're very wise and mature, very compassionate and you have strong values. You do not tolerate lying or deceiving, unfairness and similar unacceptable behaviours.
Some of you like to bring people together, others like things to be peaceful in a social context even if you're not the social butterfly.
Possible things about them:
I'm getting that they are someone really smart and intelligent in that they are very creative. They like to create and build things. They are innovative. However, they are possibly channeling this energy in the wrong place or activity and it's wasted. Their confidence and self-esteem is affected as a result.
They're very optimistic and positive so once they regain their spirit, they will get a breakthrough.
Might have a very messy mind, octopus mind, or hyperactive mind
Head in the clouds type of person, they don't mean to ignore you Pile 4. That's also how they get all their cool ideas and solutions
Some of you may have manifested them
The smoke in the card is calling at me so perhaps someone will understand bc I don't lol
I think they could also be someone who values justice and fairness, as well as respect in general
Your first date together:
Honestly all I'm seeing is you might spend your first at home with this person, or at least most of you will
Super chill, relaxed, comfy. Doesn't look like you'll be doing much or do anything that requires much effort.
Could be something simple like playing video games at home while eating snacks, but it's just you and them in the house.
I think part of the reason is because there's not much else to do? Maybe you live in a boring area for your age range.
They might gift you something speciallll. Maybe a birthday present. Or a handwritten letter, like I mentioned in the signs part at the beginning.
Honestly I'm just seeing this date is something pure, just nice and you guys are super kind and have a great time with each other.
Quotes:
"Love yourself enough to tell the truth." (Wade, C., 2018)
If you want to purchase a reading from me check my masterlist or go straight to my listings here. discount code: TUMBLR
"Often we don't want to act as though we did something beneficial all by ourselves; rather, we feel a need to acknowledge the help of others." (Yuthok, L. C., 2005)
That's it beautiful Pile 4, thanks for reading and I hope you had fun reading this PAC. Let me know your thoughts!
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Hi! Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed! I quite enjoyed this Pick-a-Pile. I also tried a new format, so that the post is shorter and hopefully easier to read. Let me know if you prefer the paragraphs though 😂
I might do a Past Life PAC next! I want to do something original, so the format could be different again 👀
Enjoy your date! 💕
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the-s1lly-corner · 3 months
Note
(This was inspired by an OC post I saw)
Can I request headcanons for Jax being affected by a love virus, (as in being forced to act lovey-dovey because of a glitch the reader carries)? I hope this makes sense.
Jax w/ a love virus!
might be a little different than the post youre referring to because i dont know what post youre talking about </3 written as the reader and jax already being in a romantic relationship since i think otherwise i may be uncomfortable writing it </3 will touch more on that in the actual post but!! kind of written with like, a slight angst angle at the beginning, going off my own silly ideas since i dont know specifics for this!! my toxic trait is seeing someone call a recipe "hard" and "difficult to master" and my immediate reaction is to make the thing. i learned how to make macarons i can learn how to make panettone... not today though i need to get the nuts and fruits for it
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he doesnt care if he was sick, when he recovers from it hes going to be so embarrassed. will become argumentative with anyone who tries to bring it up, even if theyre being neutral or supportive of him.. it might be easier for him to come to terms with it and live it down if you (his main target) are already in a relationship with him
i think he might be really upset if he got the virus from you; regardless of if you can control it or not.. it sucks, yeah, but this isnt like a flu or cold, but
yeah
bonus points if you yourself dont show many symptoms of the virus and even more bonus points if you decided not to tell anyone about it; i think if it were like this it would warrant break up material for jax
obviously i dont know the specifics, and i do want to keep this somewhat vague so it can hopefully be morphed to fit what you, the anon, specifically saw/read
but how is he like during the actual virus/infection?
clingy. very clingy
sure, jax was already clingy in his own way before getting sick, what with keeping an eye on you and trying to keep you all to himself when you guys were alone... but this is... something else
he constantly follows you around, and might even drape himself over your shoulder while you're trying to talk to someone else
gets visibly antsy and even irritated when separated from you for too long, perhaps even becoming a little verbally aggressive to the other circus members if they try to get him to calm down
wont even hesitate throwing himself into danger. not to save you. but to be around you. "if you die im going to die with you" mentality, pretty much
audibly whines when you have to go do something. embodiment of the "nooo you hang up :3" thing but way more intense and kind of obnoxious (obviously not a knock to anyone who does it, jax is just ramping it up to 100 and beyond)
if hes showing typical... sickness.. symptoms (fatigue, fever, ect) youre going to have one hell of a time keeping him in bed. youre probably going to have to monitor him until he recovers; because otherwise hes just going to follow you around the circus
this is already normal jax behavior but hes going to push people, hes just going to do it a little more often and more aggressively in order to get to you while hes sick
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shinoposting · 1 year
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A comprehensive guide as to why Aburame Shino is peak Autistic Representation
Very long post under the cut!
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( This is poorly organized and doesn't actually include everything, but you know :] )
It starts with the flashback to when Torune was taken and flashbacks to early academy days, during which Shino is about 7.
He showed no interest in playing with other children, or in making friends. He didn't see a point in talking to people who didn't want to discuss his special interest, which he dedicated all his free time to, and he didn't emote when Torune was taken away, even though it impacted him very deeply. Even as a small child he talked "like an adult", monotonous, strange phrasing, over-explaining, and too quietly. When he wasn't being ignored by his classmates, they were trying to use him.
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Later on when you see him socialize more, in Pre-Teen and Teenage years, more things become apparent.
In general he seems semi-verbal, most of the time silent, and becomes agitated when forced to repeat himself. Konoha Hiden expands on this, saying that he wishes people just knew what he meant and felt without him having to talk, and that he is bonded to Akamaru because he feels that Akamaru is the only one who he can communicate with in that way. When he's upset he isolates and at one point is even seen hitting his head when he was trying to cool down and was interrupted by unwanted social interaction.
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He doesn't understand why people need to see his face, and usually doesn't look in the direction of the person he is addressing. He also doesn't understand jokes, rarely laughs, and angrily dissects puns…but then later puns become his entire sense of humor. He's never dressed for the season, either. Aburames tend to be very covered up by default but besides his Part 1 outfit he is always in multiple layers regardless of the season. (Year round trench coats are a huge autistic stereotype.) He gets along better with people outside of his age group, respected by adults and looked up to by younger kids who think he is cool and knowledgeable. Konoha Hiden also states that during this period he was suffering with comorbid Anxiety and Depression.
There's a lot of black and white thinking on display, for example he is anti-alcohol-- obviously he would have been taught not to drink as an Aburame, but he also doesn't like when others drink. He sees it as universally bad. He's a stickler for the rules and often scolds his peers for not following rules and guidelines. He also seems like a bit of a prude even though it is suggested that he himself has a dirty mind (noticing girls' cup sizes and the implications of Road to Ninja treating his Personal Business as a personality trait) which is a funny hypocrisy I have noticed in a lot of autistic people. He holds a hell of a grudge and ruminates endlessly, which is documented at higher rates in autistic people due to rigid thinking.
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He is trying to make friends like Torune wanted, and is now aware that not having friends is a bad thing. He starts feeling the pain of being ostracized not only in general but also by his friend group and isn't even sure if he has friends. He is 17 years old before he understands what allistics consider friend status.
We start to see some of his sensory issues pop up too. He is seen wearing sunglasses even at night and while sleeping. He hates any food that smells strongly and his favorites are pretty bland. He pulls a piece of meat out of his mouth, in public, uncharacteristically violating taboo. He was able to identify the number of people in a distant group only by sound at a time when this would have been above his skill level. (Which makes sense. Team 8 is thus Eyes, Ears, Nose. More on this later.) By Boruto, he has added ear protection and stronger eye protection that he wears when he is expecting to be near fluorescent lights or crowds. Suddenly his overall mood is greatly improved and he can smile openly.
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He shows signs of hyperempathy in being overly distressed when losing insects, as he has many millions of them, and having an exaggerated physical response to anticipating Sakura and Naruto's despair.
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He has chronic bitchy resting face and is extremely blunt to a a degree of being insulting, which makes people assume he is a mean person. He also comes across as pedantic to his peers, when from his perspective he's just didactic, and even though he over-explains everything his peers still have difficulty understanding what he's saying.
He will also randomly connect the topic of discussion to his special interest and begin infodumping about bugs, and isn't aware that people around him are not interested or worse, repulsed by his special interest until told, at which point he feels personally hurt. Generally his interests are very stereotypical of an autistic person: bugs, comics, ecology, strategy, etc.
He seems level-headed and robotically analytical until he reaches a certain threshold when he suddenly over-emotes in dramatic and awkward ways.
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You might notice that when his hands aren't in his pockets, he doesn't seem to know what to do with them; they're always balled into fists, which smells of someone who was taught not to stim. Even so, when he gets really excited in Konoha Hiden and is being himself, he starts spinning around. His speech quirk preceding frequent over-explanations (Why? Because... / The reason is because...) is also considered a type of echolalia.
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Mentioning Hiden, in the Blank Period we start to see changes associated with the autistic experience of starting to understand that you are awkward, not knowing how to fix it, and all the anxiety that comes with that. He is stuck riding the lag train and is fully ready to become a hermit in the woods.
He isn't understood in the way that he wants to be understood. He can't let himself get comfortable in other people's homes. He uses his trench coat as a barrier between himself and other people, treating it like a security blanket. He still doesn't understand how his choice of attire affects people's perception of him and becomes agitated when he's told it makes him look suspicious. He doesn't appear to be pursuing any intimate relationships, and displays a lack of boundaries when picking Choji up with his insects when he gets excited.
The lag train becomes even more apparent in Boruto. He hasn't found a partner, his friends are growing even further away from him, and possibly worst of all he's seen as more childish-- too grown-up as a kid, too immature as an adult.
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He is masking extremely heavily for the sake of his career, mirroring Iruka, removing almost all of his personal identity from his appearance including the parts that made him feel safe-- everything has to be professional. This actually hurts his ability to work with kids because he already knew how to talk to them, but he is now trying to emulate the image of a teacher for the sake of professionalism.
In the classroom he struggles with things I have seen real-life autistic teachers talk about: He works well with the younger kids, they love him and his fun facts, but the older ones can tell that there is something different about him and they will ignore or outright bully him. It's very difficult to control them or hold their interest. (He later develops stomach problems due to stress from working with said older kids)
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The big problem is that he is not good at masking. In traditional settings with very clearly defined roles and rules of how to act and what to say he gets by just fine, but in organic interactions it's nothing but spaghetti and this causes him severe stress. He is proud of himself for being able to speak to many people in a day now but at what cost? Pattern recognition and rigid thinking of course leads to rumination spirals, and under extreme pressure he starts reverting to childish things. He has only had Kura-maa a short time before he becomes attached and starts personifying it. This may seem childish, but autistic people are more likely to do this and will continue to do so later into life than their allistic peers. (See Object Personification in Autism: This paper will be very sad if you don’t read it)
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He has become a real people-pleaser, allowing himself to be imposed upon constantly, and apologizes excessively even for situations that were not his fault, which are both behaviors many autistic people pick up. And, for all his masking, he can't hide that he is still terrible at understanding and constructing metaphors, ie "bad insects" and the yakisoba bun analogy.
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He is trying his damnedest to adapt and accommodate himself in a rapidly changing world that wasn't very friendly to him to begin with. He was able to slide under the radar as respectable and somewhat normal when the world was as rigid as he is. Now every day he's facing new challenges that he isn't used to and he's acting a little fucked up and neurotic, overcompensating and making it worse.
So yeah, maybe he's not 'cool' by most standards. Not everyone gets a happy ending where they become the most ideal version of themselves. Not in real life, and not in animes that have hundreds of characters. What's important is that he is exactly on the trajectory set by previous installments to the series and very accurately and thoroughly depicting autistic struggles in every aspect of life. And that's pretty cool to me. :)
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adventuringblind · 3 months
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Oscar Piastri Ghoulverse HC's
Oscar won the poll I put out, so now I am subjecting you to all the ideas that have been rolling around my head. I'll do a whole fic, eventually, but to give you an idea, I present you with this!
Specific scenarios are always welcome, and my inbox is open to questions!! If you want to make a request, it's an option on my request form, which you can find HERE!
I'm super excited to share this, and feedback is always appreciated! What do y'all want to see more of?
GORE, VIOLENCE, AND NSFW CONTENT BELOW THE CUT!!
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IMAGES NOT MINE
Appearance
A trait amongst all ghouls is dark eyes. Docile, unhungry ghouls have iris' but they are hard to make out if you aren't staring at them from at least four inches away. Oscar's are golden, and you can't change my mind.
See images for horn and tail references
His tail, although it has sharp ends, is olldly soft to the touch. It's nice to cuddle with and be wrapped in. Soft tails are prone to getting matted, but Oscar hates anything to do with combs. It's a struggle to get him to his tail groomed.
Ghoul horns can range in neutral colors and shades. Oscar's are black. Some horns are scaley, where others are more bone like. Oscar's horns are bone material and shed away the out layers ever so often. Oscar's are ridged, but the flat surfaces are smooth.
Similar to Max's due to the Ao3 fic. I just haven't been able to picture him any other way.
All ghouls get pointed ears and sharp, elongated canines. Oscar has a wickedly sharp set of teeth that he takes pride in.
Abilities
Reminder that all ghouls have really strong senses and are incredibly strong.
Oscar's abilities lie in smell. He's in the select group of ghouls that can pick out individual scents and discover emotions with his nose.
It smells different for each ghoul.
Like sexual frustration smells like a he snorted a sour patch kid and sadness smells like bleach.
That being said, he reads people like an open book.
Heaven forbid you lie to this man... he will know.
The good thing is that he knows when someone you dislike is approaching and can warn you.
Mannerisms
His tail has a mind of its own and betrays his inner emotions that he doesn't show on his face.
Oscar will say he's fine and doesn't need affection, but his tail will refuse to let his partner go.
It you watch carefully enough, it will play charades to reveal what Oscar is truly thinking about.
He's doesn't like to hunt. He'd rather find food sources through morgues or ghouls that do hunt.
However, he's also not afraid of it if it's truly necessary. Especially if it's for his partner.
The tribe the drivers have created usually switches off on who is tasked with finding food. Some get it through trainers that are trying to help them, some have deals with hospitals and morgues, and other prefer to vigilante style that shit.
Oscar does all three. It usually depends on where they are and who he can get in touch with, if anyone. If he can't, then he'll opt to hunt. But that's a worst-case scenario.
He always goes for the throat and the chest. Something about eating a heart is alluring to him, and his tail makes it easy to get to them.
As a romantic partner
POSSESIVE
He is not afraid to admit that he likes people knowing that his partner is claimed.
Furthermore, it's a protective instinct. Oscar knows the dangers that are out there regardless of what species his mate is.
He'd prefer not to have a dead lover, thank you very much!
It doesn't help that ghouls are rather territorial of what's theirs. Oscar behaves, but you can FEEL him growling at people he doesn't want to get too close or he wants to get away.
To the outside world, he's perfectly smiley, and nobody would ever know. In private, he's attached. He just needs to he near you and smell that you are okay and he'll be fine.
Prefers to stay in with the tribe to do anything fun. It's easier when he gets to look like himself.
The most patient of people.
If his partner is a ghoul but hates the eating human dilemma, then he'll try to make it as normal as he can.
If they are fine eating but not gathering, say no more because Oscar will take care of it.
Because he can smell emotions, he is very attentive. He knows you're sick before you even do. He knows every emotion you're feeling and exactly how to respond.
He's a romantic at heart and wants his lover to feel safe and valued. He's willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen.
Sex!
Yes, sex with ghouls is it's own ordeal
They've got feral animalistic instincts.... tell me they aren't good at it
Humans are also naturally drawn to ghouls
Easily seduced
Which is good considering ghouls have these lovely phases where they get riled up with pent up energy and emotions from pretending to be human all the time.
It depends on the ghoul how often this happens.
Oscar's is, at the very least, going to explode twice a year.
He saves it all up and just loses it at some point.
That being said, he's had consistent sex but typically, it's set up by one of the older tribe members until he learns to do it himself.
Also, it should be noted that these phases are all sorts of intense emotions and not just sexual.
Oscar is doubly clingy and possessive and WILL NOT let his partner leave him if he can help it.
Good luck getting away until he's calmed down.
His tail makes a very good rope to hold a partner where he wants them.
If his partner is a ghoul, then you can expect intertwined tails all the time, including any kind of making love.
Biting... this is a thing for most ghouls, but I felt I should mention it. Oscar bites a lot. Especially a human mate because the amount of trust that would take is ridiculous. He'd never break that and wants to show that through his actions.
Plus... you taste like the most delicious god damn meal ever, and all he has to do is lick you to be satisfied.
If you try to feign arousal, he'll lose his shit. Don't lie to him about it because he'll spend hours figuring you out and leaving you a mess in the process.
Oscar is experimental, and let's be real here... the quiet and most unassuming of people are often the kinkiest beings.
He is open to everything as long as he's not actually eating you, and it's SANITARY. Maybe he'll draw blood from a human partner and bite down on the mating bite he's already put there, but he's not insane... he's not going to rip you open in any kind of dangerous fashion.
Unless his partner is a ghoul because that brings in new factors. If his partner likes hunting then they'd do it together and have probably fucked high on adrenaline and covered in blood. He will also pay special attention to a ghoul partners' horns since they are so sensitive. As in... he'll lick them. Maybe he'll use them as guides.
Giving him head? Best believe he's gripping his partners horns instead of their hair.
Depending on the mood, he will either growl or purr during sex. There is no in-between. Oscar is patent and always tame, but when his emotions do breakthrough, then it's an extreme. This is no different.
We're on the dom Oscar agenda for this blog, btw... (if you haven't noticed already).
He can and will man handle you if he's in a mood and you're not cooperating.
You can't really tease him because he'll just give it back worse later on when you're alone. You can certainly try, though! All you have to do is bite him on the clavicle (mating mark spot) and it'll drive him insane.
Why? Because he's possesive and love when the feeling is reciprocated.
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bscully · 11 months
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Why Zagreus is such a good character
*Obligatory Hades spoiler ahead* Zagreus is so so so interesting from a meta perspective. While his design certainly went into the "attractive bad boy" direction, he is not your usual hyper-masculine protagonist.
Definitely not!
It starts off with his physique, which is not that of a tall, beefy body builder, but more of an ancient greek athlete. He is also shorter than most other Gods, of average size by mortal standards, and doesn’t take kindly to people making fun of his height. I find that a fascinating character design choice to make. From there, let's continue with his character.
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His temperament is sanguine; he is a ray of sunshine and loves to share all the warmth that rests in his heart. Which is a fascinating trait to have as Prince of the Underworld, who is veiled in Darkness by Mother Night, Nyx, herself. The following Berserk quote comes to mind: "He who bears light exists in the deepest shadow".
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(There is a big conceptual overlap between Hades and Berserk, but I’ll just leave it at that for this post)
Zagreus is a sociable, extroverted type who values family and bonds over everything, is respectful, polite, charming. From someone like him, genuine kindness and honesty are a guarantee. Together with his capacity to empathize, it allows him to form meaningful relationships. His noble spirit and attitude are befitting of a prince. He does not mind stepping out of his comfort zone and challenge himself, either.
When you first beat Hades, he asks Zagreus to tell Persephone that Cerberus is doing well. Zagreus instead demanded an answer for a question in exchange of telling her. However, this question was left unanswered as Hades was taken by the Styx before he could reply. Later on, because Zagreus is a good-natured person and knows his priorities, picking his mother’s needs over the grudge he could hold against his father, he tells Persephone anyways.
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There are moments in the game where he is sensitive, observant and catches up on social cues very quickly. He listens to others and apologizes to them when he feels like he may have overstepped a boundary, such was the case when Thanatos berated him for allowing Orpheus visiting his muse Eurodyce and meddled into their affairs without their consent.
Sometimes he appears to have troubles expressing what he feels, or is perhaps insecure or anxious to express it (particularly when interacting with Meg, who is rather intimidating). But despite his hesitations and fears I think he is still doing a good job at it.
Judging from a brief conversation with Alecto, he appears to know how to form healthy habits and deal with difficult situations in a productive, nurturing manner (the fact that 1. Alecto doesn’t take kindly to his attempts at getting along and 2. Zag doesn’t like her for it, is kinda funny to me). He is capable to mediate and settle conflicts between people, this is literally one of the game's primary goals.
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Judging by what happened between him and Megaera, it appears he also wasn't always this mature and went a long way learning from his mistakes. His sometimes boastful confidence and his running mouth probably were one of them. Regardless, I'm deeply impressed with Zagreus' emotional intelligence and maturity.
Considering how so many other protagonists typically are characterized, this such an unusual way to write a male one, and as such he really stands out.
I believe it is absolutely necessary that protagonists like him exist and we honestly do need more like him: as these shine a different light on nurturing masculinity and what it can be.
Zagreus is not less of a man because of the radiant and kind person he is. Quite the opposite so, I personally find him extremely attractive (he’s doing things to me oml). He is just being himself: unfiltered, optimistic, with a good sense of humor. He is not even trying to fulfill any gender roles in any shape or form, simply embracing the bonds he has for what they are, living the moment. He does whatever it takes to make the world around him a better place and make the people around him happier. And he started doing that once he stopped running away from his problems.
This reassurance is something boys and men (including those who identify as such) urgently need nowadays.
PS: I’m still not over the fact he canonically likes plushies, the lil dork
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nicki0kaye · 3 months
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random Kallus hc inspired by someone else's post #2
man he's gotta hate that he lost his bo-rifle to fucking Thrawn
like so the moral of the Honorable Ones to me was Kallus realizing he has nothing of value in his life--he has TWO personal items to his name; this fuckin glow rock and his bo-rifle which he has just learned is his by right. Regardless of what he did to Lasan, regardless of all the awful reasons he should never be accepted by any of his enemies, that fucking bo-rifle is his and no Honor Guard of Lasan can argue otherwise. There are a lot of reasons he turns on the Empire, but this is where it starts. The realization his life is so small and so empty, and he just limped back to it. Why? Why is this life worth living? And with more research, it stops being a selfish desire to ditch and becomes an informed hatred of the Empire, BUT
lets go back to that kernel of rebellion. Kallus' life is small and empty. He's got a Rock and Bo-Rifle. That's all that defines him outside his identity as a ISB officer.
He just acquired the Rock. He's been living with bo-rifle as his single defining trait for maybe a decade at this point. It's an extension of his beef with Lasat in general, which started on Onderon when one blew up his first Big Boy Mission. It makes sense he'd fixate on such a traumatic event but it's not JUST that. You don't get to have personal hobbies or a sense of fashion or really any kind of identity within the Empire outside who you personally want to fuck up. Kallus chose the Lasat and got fucking spiteful about it, which led him to the Siege of Lasan, where he won his bo-rifle.
but like, it's more than that. It isn't just hatred--if it were, I don't think Zeb would have gotten to him. I think that Kallus has had a buried respect for the Lasat for a long time, if only because of how much time and effort it took to win and then become proficient with the bo-rifle. Then there's the layer of it being the only true outlet for identity he's allowed. THEN there's the fact the bo-rifles are a Force weapon. They've got kyber crystals inside them. And I personally subscribe to the idea that everyone can sense the Force, thus be guided by the Force, it's just that not everyone can recognize what is intuition/one's own emotions and what is the Force, nevermind having an ability to influence other shit with the Force.
What I'm trying to say is I wanna believe Kallus bonded with his bo-rifle in a cosmic way. He is the Warrior, hunting the future; the Force always had plans for his ass and saw that a Force-conductive weapon made its way into his hands, that he then spent years becoming deadly with. That fucking weapon is connected to his soul.
and he lost it to Thrawn.
Thrawn didn't beat him in a fight while Kallus was armed with his bo-rifle, but he super beat his ass in a fight. Even if Kallus could argue he didn't earn the bo-rifle, Kallus couldn't retrieve it before having to gtfo. It's still somewhere on Thrawn's stupid ship--my assumption is that Thrawn goes and adds it to his collection of stolen artwork.
Regardless, Kallus doesn't have it anymore. This thing he poured what little identity he was allowed to maintain, years of hard work and practice and countless battles where he relied on it to keep him alive as his primary weapon, nevermind a Force connection, anyone would become attached to a weapon after years of service. This reminder of Lasan, this piece of history, its fucking gone now.
I don't think he'd think he's allowed to mourn that, considering all he's done, but you can't logic away your feelings, and now he's with a group of ppl who actively find that kind of coping pretty fucking unhealthy. At some point he's gonna have to process what that weapon meant to him and its not gonna be pretty.
imo, he gets a tat of it on the forearm of his dominant hand. He'd think about it for a long time but only go through with it after finally discussing all his mixed up feelings with Zeb, who would super approve of him paying his respects to a sacred fuckin weapon this way. It was his, by right, by soul, by will of the Ashla.
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cosmic-cogs · 1 year
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So, I want uh... an Autobot (NB) reader and Soundwave, both pinning on each other and in a more calm battle (maybe 2v1) readers "subtlety" compliments him in his battle skills and the other member of the team prime is like 'THAT'S THE ENEMY' while Soundwave is completely calm about it, at least in the exterior and beating their asses. You are welcome to add whatever you like, and if it was headcannons I would be pleased
(I am aware that that would be extremely ooc from Soundwave but it's was a funny idea in my head 😔)
You get both hc's and a short blurb, aren't I so delightfully evil? Also I don't know how I managed to make this into angst but I hope you like it.
Pairing: tfp!Soundwave x nb!autobot!reader, romantic
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Missions with Bulkhead were, simply put, fun. There were no real restrictions, safe for the obvious once like "don't cause human casualties" and "aim for the spark but torture isn't cool". No one would complain in the background as the wreckers lived up to their name and utterly wrecked the surrounding area.
Bulkhead didn't complain about the mess, no, but he did complain about… other things. 
"Oh! Such elegance and grace! He moves like he's air~' the bot practically purrs in admiration as they stare at the sleek Decepticon who's very much so trying to get somebody killed today.
"Uh- hey you do remember that he's the enemy, right? Haven't hit your processor and forgotten that, have you?" Bulkhead asks as he barely dodges another attack from Soundwave, giving his teammate an opening to shoot, which they gladly take. To no one's surprise Soundwave gracefully moves to the side and dodges the energy blast, "I knoooow, it's such a shame the cute ones are all Decepticons, right?" "I- have you lost your mind?!" "First Knockout, then Breakdown, and now him!  I mean seriously, what's with that?" "(N/N) now is not the time for this" talking and fighting at the same time come to the pair like breathing comes to humans, at this point it's just how things are. They kick ass and exchange their thoughts in the process. 
"If not now, when?! I can't just gush over him at the base! Arcee would yell at me" they frown, taking another shot at the con, finally landing a hit though it barely even scrapes his paint job. 
Bulkhead is so done. If it was anyone else- correction- if this was an autobot his friend was gushing over he'd be nothing but supportive. Truly he wishes them all the best. 
Not with a goddamn Decepticon though. He's internally begging that they're just messing with him.
They aren't. 
Miko definitely sneaked through the groundbridge to witness the battle and yeah she definitely heard and yeah she definitely ships it.
In a sense, Soundwave is completely unaffected by the compliments. Of course had this been a time of peace he would have entertained the thought of returning the affections, but he knows it's a foolish thought now. His spark may yearn for a lover but he denies the call, he won't betray his cause, not after everything he's done in its name, and he knows the autobot is unlikely to betray their friends.
He's neutral toward the compliments, he doesn't need the praise, he's not blind to his talents. He knows he's graceful, agile, and though he doesn't give it much consideration he knows he's beautiful in the eyes of many.
Though slowly and slightly he warms up to the bot. They seem kind, he might be a Decepticon but that is still a trait he admires, even if he more often than not would take advantage of such a trait.
As time goes forward, slowly he starts to go just slightly easier. Gives them a second longer to dodge, doesn't immediately go for their spark. 
Small changes, but once he hopes they can notice. 
Maybe after the war is over, regardless of whose victory it'll be, maybe then he could spare them more of his time, get to know them a little better. Return their compliments, allow himself to open up to them.
But that is all wishful thinking, he's aware of as much. But it's a wish he keeps close to his spark.
Perhaps he would meet his doom by their servo, or perhaps he would extinguish their spark before that wish ever came true, they were in the middle of a brutal war after all. 
He's fully aware that each fight could very well be his last, or theirs. He knows that each time seeing them could be the last, he tries to savor those brief moments.
Either way, whatever the future holds, however the story goes, he hopes that their face would be the last thing he sees. Be that because they bested him in battle, or because they'll be the last thing he'll be thinking of, along with his long lost cassettes.
There was a time they met alone in a barren battlefield, or, now it was just a field.
There was no need to fight, no real desire to.
Both were standing face to face with an enemy, yet neither made the move to kill.
No, for that brief moment they looked around and exchanged their wordless confessions. 
The world was still, for a moment it felt like the years of endless bloodshed were yet to happen, or almost as if they never existed at all.
It felt like they were back home on Cybertron. The other's presence didn't feel like the one of an enemy, no. Instead it felt like they were both new sparks who had met for the first time, yet at the same time it felt like they'd known each other for all their lives. 
It felt like all these eons spent at war had been pointless after all. 
They stared at him for a little longer and he stared back, he didn't need to say a word, they understood the meaning easily.
"After the war"
"After the war"
That was a promise he could only hope he could keep.
But as the cruel and unrelenting fate, which at this point he assumes to be vengeful, would have it, he was right. That accursed moment of separation came eventually. Not because death tore them apart, rather it was the fault of humans. 
Now he was to roam this lonely realm, Shadowzone, alone, silently watching as the bot he'd made his sweet promise had to quietly grieved for him in solitude. 
After all, Bulkhead was under the impression they were merely joking, and how could they ever tell the others the reason behind their sparkache? As if they'd understand the pain that came with this loss, one they needed to cope with by their lonesome. He was their enemy yet he was undeniably loved by them. But now it seemed that said love could never truly bloom, not even after the war as they'd once promised to one another.
He never left their side, not till they went too far for him to follow, back to Cybertron. 
Now he's alone.
Even still, he hopes that one day he'll be able to keep his word. 
"After the war"
He'll wait for that moment for as long as it takes, but at the same time he wonders.
Will they be waiting for him as well?
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