#i just wish i never said anything.

[7-oh-ta1]

Y'all I won't lie I be sad asl all the time

#lindsay speaks #// vent #this is the only way i know how to talk about my feelings to get them out of my chest so kindly ignore #i have a bad complicated relationship with my mom. i had an issue that's really be bothering me and can't talk to anyone about #because everyone just thinks I'm weird and brushes me off. so despite knowing better i try to talk to my mom about. #she brushes me off and acts like I'm weird and is like well I'm tired lol goodnight #like I'm sobbing on the phone to you and your my mom....... even if you don't feel like it's a big deal #it's something that's really bothering me. and i feel like you genuinely can't be arsed to say anything but stock #''that's just life'' quotes. like i know that that's why I'm in distres #and the stupid thing is she does this everytime i or my siblings are distressed but fuck i just really needed to talk to somebody #about how I'm feeling and just like every weak person i turned to my mom #i just wish i never said anything. #i know she's going to tell everyone i just i hate all of this and i hate i can't trust anybody to just let me be upset #sorry i didn't want to talk about fucking oatmeal and actually have issues i really need someone maybe MY MOM to just pat my back #being alive sucks so much how tf am i supposed to stay alive for the good things when i have nothing good of my own #i have nothing #not even parents and those come free with your fucking existence #btw I'm fucking stupid because she tells my aunt who thinks I'm a burden by being born every fucking thing because everytime i open up to #her i ''stress her out and she deserves to vent too'' #i hate this existence

[diteach]

Fellow morms

Recently, a loved one of a person dear to me passed away, but they are not of our community.

Has it ever happened to you and did you prepare funeral potatoes for them? Or do you happen to know if gifting food in time of grief is generally well received outside of our community?

Serious question

#this post's got the morms #teach says #i wouldnt necessarily prepare a whole casserole of potatoes #but im wondering if it could be a nice gesture #i want to do something concretely for them bc i know theyd never tell me they need something if i just said the ritual phrase “is there #anything i can do for you“ #i will obviously offer anyway but i wish to do more for them #tumblrstake #queerstake

[bumblingbabooshka]

Tuvok says that Vulcan children are very well behaved and have a lot of emotional control by the time they’re ~elementary school aged which makes sense but also makes me want to see what a Vulcan toddler or kindergartener acts like since they can’t be reasoned with as well (can’t really meditate) + are babies and also brimming with near irrepressible violence/emotions.

Vulcan toddler is just quietly accompanying their parent along on an errand. They stop and point to a toy of some sort and ask politely if they can have it. Their parent explains that they have enough toys at home. The toddler immediately throws the tantrum of the century. Just turns into an absolute wild animal in their rage. Other Vulcans are just like “aaa I remember when my children were that age” but any aliens around are like “oh my god is that thing OK??” I imagine even older Vulcan children would have issues with emotional control given that they’re also children! Though they’d of course know they needed to control themselves and behave...sometimes you just slip up. Vulcan children are playing together harmoniously. Then one breaks the established rules of the game. “I made contact with your arm. You are now the chaser.” “You did not make contact with my arm. I dodged your attempt.” “You dodged unsuccessfully. I made contact with your arm.” “I did not.” “You are cheating.” “I believe you are the one cheating.” And an adult has to rush over as one pounces on the other and they both begin screaming and clawing at each other’s eyes. The rest of the children are watching with interest or perhaps grabbing implements to assist their friend.  Little lapses in emotional control would probably be common until they reached like....highschool age. I can imagine an eleven year old Vulcan hearing they can’t sleepover a friend’s home and immediately shattering a vase before apologizing and cleaning it up.  It also seems like bullying would be very prevalent on Vulcan. Spock is canonically bullied frequently and it seems natural that Violent, Extreme Emotions in teenagers would lead to that kind of behavior which isn’t outwardly unacceptable (like crying, laughing, etc) but still satisfies an illogical desire towards cruelty and establishing dominance.  Vulcans schools probably have so many ‘Bullying Is Illogical’ seminars that do nothing and everyone makes fun of behind their teacher’s backs. Two Vulcan teenagers bullying each other, trying to see who has the more emotional reaction. If you cry or get mad you lose. Only babies cry and get mad...seems pretty illogical(cringe).  Vulcans seem to be very focused on respectability so I’m sure that as bloodthirsty teens there would be a lot of accusations and rules...if you hang out with X then Z,H and Y won’t talk to you. If you apologize too soon then they might accuse you of behaving too emotionally and gossip about you...if you don’t apologize at all they might accuse you of behaving too emotionally and gossip about you. It’s very stressful. Tuvok also said when he was a teenager in that one flashback that he was ready to fight over the girl he had a crush on (saying he’d “issue a challenge” or something) so I’m implementing that into my personal understanding of Vulcans...like adults do NOT want these kids to fight but amongst other teens they’re like:  “Seynar is my boyfriend.” “I disagree. He sat next to me during meditation three times this week.” “Only because I was absent.” “Then he is fickle and will be mine soon enough.” And then they challenge one another to a secret duel after school. Dueling to the death is very cool and grownup v_v (teens rarely die from such duels though bc either the other teen stops or someone told an adult). It makes sense to me that teenagers with violent urges would fight one another in a way that they consider acceptably adult. (mimicking the marriage ritual thing or even pon farr...romantic and cool.) Imagine being a teen Vulcan and your crush starts hinting that they have another person who might be interested in them....hmmm.....and you know you’re gonna have to duel for them or lose em. Such is life. Vulcan teens seem like they’d either date a lot (emotional whims) very non seriously (because they’re all betrothed) or date not at all because they’re gonna get married to their betrothed anyway. Loving someone other than your fated match is probably a pretty big trope in Vulcan romance stories...or maybe the opposite? Like someone bad tries to steal your heart but you remain resolute and return to your fated match as is logical. Anyway all this to say that I think Vulcan children and emotional control is something that’s fun to think about. Especially regarding how Vulcan children would act around adults vs other children. Vulcan child to adult: I will do my best to get along with my sibling. (2 seconds later once mother has left)  Vulcan child: You may play with the red toy. If you play with the blue toy I will harm you. Bodily. Meanwhile their older sibling is rolling their eyes like ugh....threatening violence is for babies....now to prepare for my logical and very adult duel for the love of my life whom I have known for three months. v_v

#vulcans #my writing #this is just stream of consciousness thoughts though #I just think Vulcan children should behave differently than adults...brains not done cooking yet and mastery of emotions is not complete #vulcan children being almost entirely self interested until a certain age #at which point they become very outward-facing...trying to please others around them and be liked/respected by their peers..trying to fit in #and then as adults they're able to strike a balance between knowing oneself and being respected by others #Vulcan teen frantically trying to decide if it's more logical to obey their parents wishes that they not go out to a party #or to go to the party which T'Yana said EVERYONE was going to be at.... #since T'Pol says that Vulcans were (pre-reform) in factions I think that'd carry into their modern emotions... #is it more logical to be loyal to the familial 'faction' or the friendship one? #Meanwhile their baby sibling is screaming and banging their fists against the door because they WANNA! COME! IN! LET ! THEM! IN! (No.) #eeeeveryone thinks babysitting a Vulcan child will be SO easy until they threaten to rend your flesh from bone then set the house ablaze #because you wouldn't let them stay up five more minutes #star trek #I think Vulcans should be a little fucked up and wild but want that to NEVER EVER get out #I hope this makes sense v_v #how vulcan children act around peers vs adults vs alien adults etc should be different #hehe I also think as small children they'd just call anything they personally don't wanna do 'illogical' and their parents have to sigh and #teach them how to separate 'what is logical' from 'what I want to do'

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying #shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl #in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated #bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not #her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet #so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive #personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd #compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from #happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is #like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil #not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am #barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me #and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them #but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and #thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard #to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds #nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of #brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but #that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer #defying the stats but for how much longer? #i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it #i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else #excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things #unrelated #ed mention #i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama #bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]

[saviourkingslut]

not to be about opera again but to be about opera again. as an art form it has the reputation of being super stuffy and something for snobs who don't know how to have fun only but honestly this was one of, perhaps even THE main theatrical entertainment for centuries. i wish people knew how hard these things can go and how engaging they can be. like characters kill and die and fight wars and (almost) commit human sacrifice left and right. characters fall in love they mourn they're ecstatic they cry they're furious it's an extremely dramatic and emotional art form! and i understand that opera does not appear approachable bc of the general conventions of the art form but i promise old works can be fun and engaging if you go watch them with some preparation beforehand (reading the libretto helps) - not to mention not all operas are old bc there are so many modern operas which engage with topical events! also the music slaps.

#le triomphe de trajan (1807) out here calling for a man's execution with this banger: #point de grace pour ce perfide; que tout sons sang coule sur un autel #(no grace for this treacherous man; let all his blood flow on an altar) #this is also annoying to me when people write historical fic and the characters treat the opera as this elitist thing #that they don't know anything about. #you know when they go to the opera reluctantly and then they have no idea what's going on on stage or who the composer is. #which is. very unlikely for anyone with the money to attend an opera in certain opera houses in the 19th c. tbqh #like im more of an expert on paris and vienna idk what it was like in london #but if you were decently (upper) middle class or nobility (esp in paris) you went regularly. this was like a whole social space too #i recently read a fanfic and one of the characters was like 'oh it's in italian. i don't know that' and the other character went like #'it's by a man called donizetti what did you expect' #(this was situated in 19th century london) #like first of all. donizetti was NOT a librettist he was a composer he did not write the text #and second of all. he worked on french operas ?? so did rossini. and spontini. #opera was an incredibly international art form. also bc productions would be performed in different countries all the time #(sometimes changed and/or translated but not necessarily) #and again like i said. this was one of THE main forms of entertainment. people were familiar with its conventions! it was well-liked! #ofc bc of the seating prices it was not very accessible to lower classes most of the time #but lbr most characters that get written into an opera scene in fiction are at the very least decently bourgeois lol #i wish people knew how to properly historicise forms of entertainment whose reputation has changed in the modern era #from what it was a century or more ago #very adjacent to people 'cancelling' old lit bc of 'bad takes' like idk how to tell you this but people thought different back then #completely different world view from what we have today. that does not make lit from that era irredeemable it is just from a diff. time #acknowledging that and reading the text critically but also still enjoying it are things that go tgt here #ok rant over (it is never over) #curry rambles

[newfeeling77]

anyone filming a video on their phone in public i dont care ill walk in the way ill interrupt whatever. unless its teens making skating videos. because i think thats important even if theyre in the way of me getting to the atm.

#not really relevant but #every time i sit in the park i remember when i was like 16/17 #sitting in the PARK with the lamest battle jacket and my big platform docs because i was in that part of my life #like i looked mildly punk enough that like a normie would think i was really cooking with gas #and this fucking girl and her boy with her idk if they were students or just annoying #she was walking around taking pictures with a DSLR and she started taking pictures of me feeding the pigeons for no fucking reason #didnt ask just did it #and i wish it had happened now bc i would tell her to fuck off and you shouldnt take pictures of people downtown without their permission #bc youre just asking for unnecessary confrontation. also its rude #but i never said anything bc i was 17 and nervous #the pictures probably sucked too she was too far away and the lighting was bad.

[yesokayiknow]

cannot believe that in 2007 the eighth doctor adventures writers just decided to put toxic yuri in their show. they did that for me

#not me going insane over 2 minor recurring villains #but literally what the fuck is going on with the headhunter and karen #what if an amoral assassin and a normal office worker decided to become partners on a whim & now they time travel and commit crimes together #like what????? #the headhunter could not give less of a shit about other people and doesn't think karen is useful at all and yet just keeps her around #and karen's like yeah she hates my guts and also she makes me kill people. it's a laugh though can't complain #and i'm just meant to be normal about that?????? huh??????? #also the way they both just flirt with lucie every time they see her is so funny #karen's like hey babe!!!! how are you!!!! do you want to join us!!!! while holding a knife to lucie's neck shdjshs #while the headhunter's like ah lucie miller the thorn in my side [saves her life] this means nothing [saves her life] you disgust me [saves- #doctor who #big finish #i've finished s3!!!! whoop!!!! #my thoughts are why does lucie miller keep getting turned evil and can it keep happening bc it's hot. who said that #my only issue with this format is that it's very adventure based. which yeah it's called the 8th doctor adventures #but i wish there was more breathing room for lucie. the doctor keeps being all sad (fair his life is awful) but lucie's going Through It #and never gets a chance to really process anything #also the retroactive continuity errors make me laugh #'i'm 900 years old' no the fuck you're not! you still have the time war yet buddy! #i like to think they're just signs of 8's swiss cheese memory #i hope there's books set in this era. i'm sure nobody will be able to tell me bc they gave up 20 tags ago agdkhsjshsjs

[suncattle]

I don't trust no fuckin body that doesn't question or criticize their own government

#the American government WISHES everyone would blindly trust every thing they say as fact #there is not a government in the world that shouldnt be criticized #“oh yeah well my government said-” AND YOU TRUST THEM??? #YOU THINK THEY WOULDN'T LIE TO YOU #YOU THINK THEY'RE NOT MANIPULATING YOU TO BE A LOYAL LITTLE SOLDIER THEY CAN USE AS CANON FIRE? #i just can't understand it #how can you be so fucking dumb to believe the people that directly benefit from lying to you #marco yell #“obviously those people were arrested because they committed crimes” yeah man who exactly told that? was it the person who arrested them? #was it the person who has a reason to make you think they're always in the right and have never done anything wrong #is it the person who needs your support and backing to kill the “criminal” and deem “punishment” #is it the same person that the us police modelled their tactics after? #except somehow worse cause us courts don't accept confessions that were beaten out of people #(i would also like to very loudly state fuck the usa btw this place also fucking reeks and sucks balls)

[sunmisbf]

anyways bestie oversharing time but yesterday i was telling my coworker (45 yr old man btw like this is important keep that in mind) that i wanted to start working out bc i want to be fit like have abs kind of but not really that extreme so anyways regular conversation about working out right so today he comes in n shows me screenshots of like hyper realistic drawings of skinny women w huge boobs in bikinis n he goes so don’t pay attention to the whole body just the stomach, is this how u want to look? n it was multiple pictures guys n i was thinking in my head like he searched these up thinking about me? made me very uncomfortable. whatever i tell him no not like that bc those r literally drawings not even real women. n then later he made me something to eat n i asked him if he could cut it in smaller pieces n he says why? do u have a small mouth? okay whatever normally i would’ve been like okay stupid ass question but bc of what happened earlier i was like what did he mean by that. was it a sexual joke? AND then later on we were walking towards each other from opposite directions n i didn’t immediately move out of his way n he poked my stomach n i laughed bc what ELSE am i supposed to do? n i asked him why he did that n he said well u didn’t move like why would he even think it’s okay to touch me. anyways that’s weird right like i’m not being dramatic

#long ass paragraph sorru. i just need to get it out #i don’t know if he’s exactly 45 he’s somewhere between 40-50 yrs old whatever whatever he’s old enough to be my dad either way #like how did me talking about my body in a working out context turn into him being comfortable being like this to me i wish i never said #anything #.txt

[moongothic]

#Moon posting #There's a lot to be said about FF7's themes and Cloud's character arc and how a lot of it ties into toxic masculinity #And like. The scene in VIIR where you play as Aerith when Cloud comes out of the bar in a dress and he's absolutely MORTIFIED by his get up #That fucking out-of-body horror and distress Cloud is going through even though there isn't anything for him to be ashamed of? #How humiliated he felt and how the compliments on how he was looking didn't make him feel any better? #That was me when my mom forced me to wear a skirt to my grandma's funeral back when I was in high school #(The last god forsaken time I wore a fucking skirt) (And even at that point I hadn't worn those things for YEARS) #That scene with Cloud? Yeah. Big ''I'm in this picture and I don't like it''-energy. #So this whole thing of Cloud wanting to live up to a horrible twisted idea of masculinity (a Shinra Soldier(/Sephiroth)) #And realizing that he never can but(/and?) doesn't have to. That his masculinity is already good enough. That's wonderful. #Also Cloud is just kinda gender leave me alone #Sure wish I had a PS5 because I sure would like to play Rebirth but I am not dropping 700€ to play a single fucking game #Already feel bad enough about getting a Switch last year just for TOTK #Can't even watch my fave Tubers play it because I wanna experience it on my own too #Woe is me

[katyspersonal]

I really feel like such a helpless adult baby sometimes. Some things just take too long while to heal, and even when I think I've got no more pain left, something refuels it. Some wounds feel like putting a fireplace somewhere in innermost part of one's being; as long as it is there, there is a risk of someone throwing fuel in it and making it burn. And these fireplaces are so, SO darn hard to uninstall. Just.. how do I heal this?

#/vent #personal #yes it is about A again #I just can't believe that for her someone being rude when hurt/harmed/scared/belittled/etc is- #-much worse than stalking harassment bullying and lying #and that she wanted to take revenge at me for words I took back THAT SAME DAY to the- #-point of hurting two other mutuals she liked that never did anything to her at all #like.... I just can't cope with the fact that someone wanted to harm me to the point of willing to- #-pay a PRICE to do that #and over what? over me blowing up when she told me I was wrong about who the stalker was #also when they got caught after sending message off anon on accident A also pretended that- #-she never doubted who it was #like dude? you deadass told me I was wrong because you 'asked them and they said no' #for someone who lied SO many times A sure is strangely oblivious to the fact that guilty people can lie! #i just wish it stopped hurting already #like every time I think I got over it something 'fuels the fire' again #how I am 26 and still feel shocked that some people are JUST cruel and treacherous? for no reason?

[seilon]

every newer gen kpoppy who calls it revolutionary every time a big name bg member wears something vaguely skirt-like should be required to watch lee sungjong of infinite putting his whole pussy into performing coming of age ceremony by park jiyoon wearing the song's classic form-fitting black side-slitted dress with zero gimmicks way back in 2012

#its Required Material re: historical kpop genderfuckery #no but im 100% for real. this was in the middle of the era where bg members doing gg songs in drag and whatnot was a really #common gag at concerts and in variety shows and whatnot- especially using bg members who were/are considered the most effeminate #basically it was a big Joke and never taken seriously. alot of the time the dances would be exaggerated and whatnot and yeah they #werent like. REAL covers. werent usually respectful of the original gg/female idol's work and all that. haha man in dress type humor #i know if you're old enough to be following me and into kpop you probably know this already and im talking into space but whatever #anyway. sungjong said fuck that and fucking killed it with a genuine live cover (dance And vocals) of coming of age ceremony #which- as you can imagine based on the title- isnt just an iconic female idol song but one that's blatantly about female sexuality #and whatnot. wore the dress that's in the original mv (or something very similar) and didnt play it up with a wig or anything like that #(like what's usually the case when male idols cover gg songs to make it more clear that its a Costume and they are Crossdressing rather tha #just. being a guy and wearing a dress.) #did not shy away from the sexiness of the dance AT ALL to the point of riding the floor at one point more or less which. god fucking damn #but anyway. it's totally true to the original and is unapologetically sexy in an inherently orientation-fucking gender-fucking way and GOD #wish it got more attention than it did because THAT is revolutionary. thats the first performance i ever saw where a male idol did a #female idol song in the original female idol outfit live without any gimmick or even the implication that it COUNTS as drag. its SUCH a #big deal imo. and it helps that its really fucking hot but thats neither here nor there. anyway. i know its been years but i still have so #many feelings and opinions about sungjong's coming of age ceremony performance ghfgjhdgfdh WATCH IT #sungjong #infinite #kibumblabs

[phantomthievez]

p4 is infuriating BUT I LOVE IT but it's infuriating

#.txt #only at 06/06 so no in-depth spoilers (i know the main twist) but #AUGH #THEY KEEP DOING THINGS AND THEN BACKTRACKING #like in yukiko's dungeon and the whole 'is chie her prince?' thing #rn kanji's on the roof with us and he's like 'no i'm alright i never liked guys :P' after his shadow said like 1837487482 times that HE DID #(not even including how they portrayed his shadow) #what they're GOING to do with naoto is going to drive me nuts it's just AUGH #like idk. does this drive anyone else with reading comprehension insane #i see so much twt discourse being like 'no kanji was just scared of his feminine side!!' his feminine side includes crushing on naoto? #really obviously so? #i just wish we saw this game without the obvious censors #(not just saying that bc i'm a souyo through and through) but so many little things just make sense if characters were queer #not tagging anything nobody needs to see my lukewarm take

[no1ryomafan]

I have said this before but me being self proclaimed number 1 Ryoma fan and that being possibly literal-bc even if this bro had fans before me I might’ve simply done the most for him by talking about him so much + being the first to write fics that are in depth studies on his trauma across canons-I gotta say if there’s one other character I rotate a lot that isn’t him it’s probably Kei. (Shocking it’s not Hayato even if I do think about him too- but it’s usually associated with Ryoma bc gays 🗿)

I’m not even exaggerating when I say Kei would be my favorite and only isn’t because she doesn’t exist in many other canons yet my brain rotates the endless possibilities of how to incorporate her. I’ve already written a fic where she’s in shin vs neo verse which worked surprisingly well but I’ve been thinking how universally she could appear in other things. (Whether it be fitting her into a idea of a possible Go team in New or just a new canon completely) I think what I’ve narrow it down to is that she could be like- in Michirus role? Like she’s the supporting female who isn’t a pilot but helps out the real occasionally which I think would align very well especially with the original manga role she has of being Hayato’s assistant. And even if Hayato isn’t grandpa mode yet he still very much is in Saotomes position at that point. Not sure if she’d Hayato’s biological kid to further parallel Saotome and Michiru given well Hayato already adopts the Go team and his wife is irrelevant LOL.

I have no idea if I’ll ever write this specific idea but I’m still- rotating it cause this is such a easy way to get around “picking between Sho or Kei as the 2nd pilot” since both of them can still exist even if one doesn’t get to pilot, idm my supporting females. (Granted there could always be like- plot line where Sho gets hurt so Kei is temporary pilot but I can’t remember if Getter ever really did this since “once your hurt your ass is basically replaced” lol)

#meg text #getter robo #au rambles #I think I rotate her so much because my friend and I talked about her relationship with Go #like it makes so much sense if among all the universal constants in getter one would be Kei is important to Go #granted the shift from “she’s my love interest” to “she’s my sister” will never not be so fucking drastic 💀 #also I get why in SVN she wasn’t there for time and idk where you’d fit her but man Kei deserves a more significant role #hence why I imagine her in Michirus role because even if she also had it ROUGH some iterations knew how to use her #also Kei already has a established relationship w gai mainly thanks to arma so- Sho deserves to speak with her too #they can be besties who rat out on the boys but still have high respect for hayato #granted I know the real reason why this hasn’t happened is because Kei is a minor character and “no proper go manga adaptation??” #at this point I don’t expect a anime but it be nice if Go team got used in a spin off bc we had a good run of OG team #I’d also want them to use arc in spin offs too but I understand their more- finicky characters to use #given their main thing is their actual descendants of existing characters and one of them is our first boyo (ryoma) #if you took out the bloodline stuff it make them feel redundant because you can just use go team for that #also honestly despite how mixed arc anime is for everyone they really don’t need to be in anything after this #other then wishing they get something with nicer animation but that’s what’s SRW is for #(also back to Kei I’m a bit upset she did not get a cameo in arc even if she’d probably look horrendous it was just salt in the wound) #(GAI LITERALLY SAIDS WHEN HE DIES IN THE MANGA HE SEES KEI WHERE WAS SHE WITH ALL THE GETTER GHOSTS?) #actually Michiru wasn’t there too so it was probably just woman erasure /hj

[potential-fate]

why would I want to focus on work when I can instead look through my old pleasantview story and see what I can turn into short fanfic oneshots on AO3?

#my posts #I wish I was kidding but I simply cannot focus today. >_> #the oneshot thing is just something I recently thought to do because I'm honestly never going to do anything else with it at this point #like for fucks sake it's been... what 4 years? since I touched it? at least???? #I have like #all these random scenes that no one has even seen based on it #or based on headcanons and shit #and a few older scenes reworked anyways. #so my brain said “well you could polish them up and post them somewhere they don't need to be in order?” #and here we are #potentially pleasantview

[v-a-l-e-n-jill-t-i-n-e]

I wish Hisana was a more important character who and would be brought back, because Rukia has had little to no opinions on her since finding out she was her sister. Like never. Even some line alluding to her true feelings regarding Hisana would be kinda cool, but you could argue that maybe she feels a tad bit negative towards her but doesn’t want to confess it since she doesn’t wanna ruin her relationship with Byakuya, and I completely agree that Rukia probably does hold some anger towards her sister for abandoning her in a place that caused her significant trauma, then again she probably feels a bit grateful since she ended up meeting Renji, someone who later goes on to become her husband and father of her child. These conflicting emotions could be perfectly represented, but since Hisana was never a fighter nor a member of the gotei 13 the likely hood of her being detrimental to the story (unless there’s an arc based around Rukia’s family - which probably won’t happen since she doesn’t have any biological family other than Hisana and now ichika) is possibly zero.

Like there’s so many questions regarding Hisana, but we will probably never know since Kubo has kinda shown his disinterest in her story considering her story ended at being Byakuyas wife, and dying with him next to her, and having been a starving mother figure to her sister in the past to the point where she couldn’t take the suffering and was probably convinced Rukia would die regardless due to her poor care taking (and a plethora of other traumas and insecurities she got from Rukon). She got a somewhat “happy ending” since her physical suffering (excluding her illness) had stopped and she found love, but her guilt kept her stranded till her death. I just think it’s cruel irony a year after her death Rukia was found, and she was just out of the grasp.

Anyways thanks for listening to my little rant, if anyone has any good fan fic suggestions with an “alive Hisana” au then I’d love to know!! ❤️

#bleach #rukia kuchiki #byakuya kuchiki #hisana kuchiki #byakuya x hisana #renji abarai #ichika abarai #renruki #so much of Rukia’s past was hidden behind the scenes #wish we could have seen things from her perspective #also im very interested in her opinions on her sister #her anger and appreciation but also confusion would all be my predicted responses tbh #gia post #sorry for the rant I was just watching a video where it said the chance of her coming back is basically zero #and I just wanted to cry myself to sleep with the knowledge that we’ll never know anything about her personally #everything about her comes from Byakuya #like if we could even know her last name before she got married we could link that to rukia and get more lore lmao