#i managed to stand the whole time!

[lovelaceisntdead]

So. Chappell Roan.

#my friend took most of these because my five year old samsung could not cope #i will be talking about this forever btw. i don't leave my house ever. #yeah these photos are awful sorry we were being in the moment #i had SO much fun #this was a HUGE deal for me too and I'm really proud of myself #i managed to stand the whole time! #didn't faint didn't lose any limb function didn't even really dissociate that much #also. does anyone know the bassists @. asking for a friend. #i also looked really fucking hot i would like that on the record. #posting these mostly for me and also B #Chappell Roan

[spacey-llama]

one more time

featuring the clip that made me obsessed with this man (its the one at the very end)

#jack ryder #the creeper #btaa #batman the audio adventures #hey fun fact the p in remington p cord stands for mickey so actually rip has been here the whole time- #mr dc told me himself #also sorry for putting so much of the beginning of s2 episode 1 in there but i think its peak jack ryder #they managed to cram everything i hope to achieve when writing him into 5 minutes and i commend them for that #anyways love the way he says the word jaundice #he says it like #✨jaundice✨

[warlordfelwinter]

the whole scene before you unlock the dying gasp is still top 10 cutscenes that fuck the hardest in this entire game

#emet taking out all the scions #the wol almost losing it to the light #ardbert stepping in to get you back on your feet #as the shadowbringers theme starts to play #the wol standing up in that enormous blast of light and emet briefly seeing azem in our stead #the exarch managing to pull enough power to summon seven more people across time and space to help us #emet's explosion of darkness that traps us in the trial arena like #it's just all so good #the way emet sees us contain the light and stand; strong; whole enough for him to see us as we were #and he still refuses to back down still insists we aren't worthy #aaaaaaaaaaaa!!! #now time for a trial i actually genuinely enjoy #emet's a fun one imo #fel's ffxiv #shadowbringers lb

[quietwingsinthesky]

i do think a lot about the master & the doctor both deliberately seeking out other regenerations of each other than whoever they’re mostly interacting with. especially when they just want a chat, a moment’s truce, something that could be called comfort if they dared to put it into words. easier to do those things when, well, they’re still enemies, but the hurts are farther apart in time. ‘i’m your future, you’re my past, we’re both still hurting each other where we come from, but that’s a different me and a different you, and tonight, can’t we just play a game or share a bed for old time’s sake?’ you know?

#and its very much not a secret thing obviously. theyre both very aware theyre doing it. theyre crossing up their timelines like crazy. #anyway this idea brought to you by me reading a summary of a fic where thirteen goes back in time and fucks simm!master aldjfkgjks #which is. a little off topic from what im going for here. but yeah also that they do jump around the timelines to have sex. #but something about that fic idea specifically intrigued me because like. there’s that whole year where the master is just in one place #playing the part of harold saxon. he’s not going anywhere. #and like what if versions of the doctor just showed up. to bug him. to yell at him. to lay side by side on the floor quietly for as long as #they can both manage to stand it. and obviously to have hate sex on his desk. #i mean what kind of angsty fuckery would that dredge up right? to be able to visit the master before he even dies in their arms in his #timeline. and its not about stopping it or anything. just about the fact that he’s there. he’s not going anywhere. #idk. something to think about i guess.

[dykedivorce]

if any other bitch in konoha had been gay apart from sasuke none of this would have happened to my son naruto.

#pussy from the turbotron edgelord 3000 and his whole life went up in flame. NOT worth it #no but fr it's insane how he bamboozled every fan into thinking he was so interesting and cool and badass when . #at the point im at in shippuden hes by far the least interesting of the main characters. one track mind (vengeance) and no depth beyond that #like the other characters rn : sakura coming in to her own ; finding her path and her strength + sharing a connection so deep with naruto #over their common loss that they both just Know although they absolutely cant talk about it #yamato: the only survivor of orochimaru's monstrous experiments on children; kakashi's stand in thats so different from kakashi #it makes you wonder what it would have been like with him as their teacher from the start; #a mystery thats clearly trying his best but whose mission truly is A Lot #SAI: A BRAINWASHED SPY A PAWN FOR A SECRET ORGANISATION WHO CLINGS TO HIS HUMANITY NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES HES BEEN PUNISHED FOR IT #WHO FELL IN LOVE WITH NARUTO FOR MAKING HIM REALIZE HOW DEEP THINGS COULD BE FELT AND HOW DEEP RELATIONSHIPS COULD RUN #WHO HAS BEEN DRAWING A BOOK FOR HIS DEAD BROTHER FOR YEARS EVEN IF HE'S FORGOTTEN WHAT HIS BROTHER LOOKS LIKE #WHO DECIDED TO SPARE SASUKE BECAUSE HE'S LOVED. WHO JUST WANTS TO LEARN HOW TO LIVE A HUMAN LIFE. #MOST AUTISTIC CODED CHARACTER OF ALL TIMES HAS NEVER SUCCESSFULLY MASKED A DAY IN HIS LIFE. #sasuke: sasuke #anyway. im not touching on naruto because i could be here for days #BUT while sasuke on his own so far is very whatever. the narusasu dynamic is truly one for the ages #bc i just saw the ep where sasuke manages to see kyuubi inside naruto and wooshes him away and it's very like. #oh so hes literally seeing naruto's demons and banishing them even as hes telling naruto they dont matter to each other anymore. #oh ok cool cool cool cool this feels normal and not something to obsess over #jesus christ why am i typing all this. who here cares #naruto thoughts

[coffee-bat]

i think tf2 could really use a "behind you" command

#like in the past week ive had at LEAST 5 situations where i wished i could give a quick. that #mostly concerning spies #like sure 'spy!' is a command but 1) its so overused that almost noone reacts to it 2) its not specific. ok but spy WHERE #it comes up a lot in mvm #like the time i was running from respawn and my team was fighting the tank as a group. i was still far but i suddenly saw myself behind them #i yelled 'spy' while running to them but it wasn't enough and 2 got fucking killed. bc yknow. ok spy but where #or the time i was up on the roof with a medic that for some reason decided im worth healing the whole round (that's rare). we heard- #-the spy alert and i turned my attention away from sniping to watch out for the spy. medic didn't. he was standing a few ft behind me #i see a 'scout' running up towards medic out the corner of my eye. hes not seeing it. #i ran and miraculously managed to kill the spy with a pan RIGHT as he was starting the backstab #and like ok that made me feel good about myself and like i repayed the medic at least partially. but yknow. still way too close for comfot #(for context my turning isn't very good bc i'm using touchpad instead of mouse for looking around. so thats part of the reason i wish i - #-could warn people about danger that im unlikely to get to fast enough yknow) #anyway. ramble over sorry. im having game thoughts #ramble #tf2

[rickybaby]

I’m now kind of laughing about the pictures of Daniel today with ZB, knowing this was going to drop today. Like I know he was being genuine because he’s too nice but I like to think it was in the back of his mind.

I mean, as much as we say he’s too nice to stop and interact with that team, he’s a professional in a professional environment. So he kind of has to do what he needs to do irrespective of how he might personally feel towards them

#also unrelated #just wanted to reiterate I don’t believe mclaren actively sabotaged Daniel or anything #because sure this is a high stakes sport where it means millions between p4 and p5 in the standings #and we’ve all agreed that yes Daniel never managed to gel with their car but you have to agree that THEY gave up on solving his problems way #before Daniel gave up on the relationship and they pretty much sat back while Daniel chased his own tail trying to determine what’s wrong #and #Daniel specifically told them what he needed to get used to the car and Andreas and co went around at the end of 2021 saying #Daniel’s feedback has been essential to make us understand the limitations of our car and we’ll take what he said in consideration #only for them to admit at the end of last year that to implement Daniel’s suggestions meant changing too much of their car’s dna and #that wasn’t something they were interested to do #and then they showed up in Bahrain this year with the most godawful car and no longer had a convenient scapegoat #and had to go and redid their whole car and copied the rb philosophy which they could have done at #the time daniel told them to #but no

[trashbaget]

tell me your failed/embarrassing flirting stories to make me feel better, i’ll go first: today i said “get out of my way” forgot to say “i’m kidding” then immediately said “bye”

#it is awful having feelings for someone you know and have an established friendship with #but crushing on someone i barely know is knew to me and i legit feel like an idiot every time i do something stupid like this #i can’t just. talk to the guy #if i say hey and he says sup i say ‘sup indeed’ like what the fuck is that #i can barely even say hello to him #don’t get me wrong i’ve DONE it but most days i’m like #ah fuck there he is #okay you can do it just say hi #just say what’s up #and then he’s already gone #also. like. the setting we’re in is soooo not good for talking or flirting realt because um. it’s work he’s my coworker.. so um. do i fuckin #ask him for his number?? or to hang out??? but like. he’s kind of a stranger to me what do i want to hang out for 🧍 #but like. ​i dont want to do that until i have at least one successful interaction #or like. an actual conversation. #which is gonna be really hard to manage because he doesn’t talk much at all to anyone and i really only talk if someone talks to me first or #i’ll say something absolutely idiotic and ridiculous (and honestly i do that no matter what) #anyway so um. i guess i’m just gonna keep making a fool of myself until i get it right and hopefully i don’t screw it up 🥴 #i lost all my confidence in the last year and i cant do anything chill or smooth anymore (i was never that good in the first place but at #least i could PRETEND i knew what i was doing. like i could sell it. the whole weird and lost bit.) #anyway. i felt better for like 5 minutes when some guy at the gas station flirt failed with me on the way home. but that’s partly my fault #too oops. in his defense he probably could not see that i had headphones on bc upon mirror inspection they were well blended with my hair #but i was waiting to cross the street and this guy tried to like nod and smile and i did not know it was to me until i got to the other side #where the gas station was and and like. tried again and i awkward half smiled and saw his face get all mushy and confused like mine FELT 20 #mins before when i’d flopped so hard trying to flirt and by the time i’d processed WAIT i think he was FLIRTING WITH ME i was already gone 🤡 #but at least it ended better than the poor 14yo who very confidently asked for my number #who. i shit you not. SCREECHED for a solid 44.5 seconds and bolted the other direction when i said sorry im 21 #his friends were standing there like wtf too and one was like i am so sorry about him 🤦 #cheers to being fools universe

[lucy-ghoul]

i wasn't born with a normally functioning brain because then i would have been too powerful, nothing and no one could have stopped me

#the ocd is really unbearable these days #i just wish these damn meds would work... like. they did in the past #i had breakdowns but i always managed to stand up again and recover #not this time tho. i tried at least 5 different therapies since 2023 started and nothing really worked #i actually just got worse. this has been the most nightmarish year of my whole fucking life #i miss who i used to be before getting so sick... i miss finding joy even in the smallest simplest things #val speaks #txt

[honexjams]

everyone who's disabled one way or another and simply has to keep going to work no matter how devistating it is on your body and/or mind, I see you and I love you. that shit is so rough and you're an absolute trooper for keepin it pushin

#talkin.555 #disability #cfs #i tell myself this every day #i dont even have a diagnosis for whatevers goin on w me but some type of way #my legs bad my heart bad my anxiety is present which it never rlly was as a teen n shit so like #something #def is going on #my personal theory is cfs but goddamn do i not have the energy to schedule a dr appt #and i brought it up to my pcp and he was like #first of all u ducked out on the last 3 appts so bringing up a whole xtra thing is like not sumn im equipped to address #which is understandable #but also he was like nah ur prolly fine just get more sleep #like dawg #ive tried every sleep schedule feasably possible for weeks at a time each to self test if i can manage anything better that way #and Now that ive exhausted my personal efforts to self doctor i am coming to you and u just say #nah prolly not #like mf i am livid #i cant stand for more than 10 mins without limping and i have a series of quitting jobs i liked because i couldnt handle the physical strain #of standing up for 8 hrs #im always groggy my brain foggy my hearing slow and i cant move like a 21 yo usually does like #there is something wrong and he didnt even give me time of day #like sorry i gave u an extra hour off a few times the past few months but like i am miserable and wanna know #Any way to at least help #lotta tags #sorry abt the rant im just #a commie and dont think a 40 hr work week is good anyway #and ive been progressively getting worse with my Exertion Tolerance for bout 3 years now #like i would love at least a finger in the right direction #from a med professional

[janiedean]

the more time passes the more it's obvious why I'm shit at expressing emotions and why I loathe doing it openly and it's a damned shame neither of my damned parents reads fantasy because maybe if i told them the more you are like this the more i end up like stannis baratheon's reincarnation if the damage isn't done already they'd get the fucking point

#i'm so fucking tired that every single time i have to express not feeling great/up to par/on top of things #it becomes YOU WANT TO BE A VICTIM AND BLAME OTHER PEOPLE FOR IT #jfc i want to rest #i've spent three years coped there with them with first row seat to parent one becoming completely paranoid but okay #and that's not even 5% of the problem #i'm too tired to stand i'm doing two jobs at once one of which is draining af #neither of them is even netting me immediate money #i've worked sundays for a whole damned month and a half #they have zero idea of half of the shit i'm dealing with #bc the mOMENT you talk about your feelings it's C H I L D I S H #and then 'why didn't you talk about x before' #idk didn't wanna get told it was my fault and i had to man up maybe #and like my father has a half excuse i'm not disclosing bc his business #and it's like what i suspect not anything anyone said out loud #but god my mother could fucking get a hint #yeah let's go to therapy for years so that every single time i patch a hole in the ship #CANNONBALL FROM THE OTHER SIDE HAPPENS #and it's worse all over again #meanwhile my stomach has been closed up since an hour and i can't even stand up #and then i feel like i shouldn't complain until i manage to move out #i just want to go in a forest for six months and stop being perceived tbh #i hope i don't regret posting these tags but jfc #At YoUr AgE I hAd A jOb AnD a BaBy #yeah okay sorry i'm not you #there's a fucking reason i'm never gonna have children it would wreck me and i know it #but since YOU did it then everyone can

[bellerintwo]

this is going to be the thing that ends me. apologize for what? for getting us higher on the table than we could’ve imagined after recent years? for letting us dream that a league title would be possible for us? all because it hurts? i would rather have the pain than to have never lived through this season with this group of players, to have never seen us win the nld away, the ødegaard black kit masterclasses, granit’s entire season, bukayo and nelli reaching g/a milestones, the summer games in the pink kit, wilo and big gabi at the back, aaron’s incredible saves, gabby jesus and zinny bringing a new kind of passion to the team, eddie’s last minute winner against utd, reiss’s 97th minute goal, jorgi and leo and kiwi coming in at the transfer window and having an impact immediately, leo’s 3 assists in one half, jorginho’s strike that lead to the m*rtinez og, winning games that no one ever expected us to win, mikel’s emotions on the touchline, and all the love the players showed for each other and the fans. we are more a family now than ever and not one person on this squad/staff (excluding the obvious) has a single thing to apologize for.

#again I’m so sorry for being annoying an emotional please block me if you need to but I need to speak into the void or I die 😭 #I can’t stand to see anyone apologize for one of the greatest seasons of football I’ve experienced in such a long time! #I am so sad that the players are so sad but there is so much to be proud of !!!!! this and so much more!!!! #I won’t hear a word of negativity towards anyone at the end of the day they did their best and that’s all we can ask for #I know management was bad but people who are being hateful on twitter etc? this is not the answer #everyone is learning everyone is growing and when they eventually win a title we’ll be glad to be able to say we were here the whole time #the same way we’re glad we never said arteta out bc look at what having faith in people does!!!! we have so much to look forward to! #Mikel Arteta

[theflyingfeeling]

still sick but alive, unfortunately 🤧

#last morning when i got up i wasn't at all sure i'd live to see the release of deadzone lol #since then i've been able to walk and stand up somewhat normally without wanting to cry and/or die #last night i slept more than the two previous nights combined. which still isn't that much but at least i did sleep #i did also wake up so completely drenched in my own sweat (from mild fever going down after i had taken a painkiller for a headache)- #-that i had to get up and dry myself with a towel 😂 #and there was a huge wet spot (of sweat) on my bed where i had lied 🙂 #i have lost three fourths of my vocal range so i can't e.g. laugh #(not that i've had a whole lot to giggle about these past few days 💀) #i'm bummed out i can't do preparations for my new job #i definitely should've started earlier but i would've had plenty of time this week had i not caught the cold at the stupid festival 🤧 #i did not plan this! besides i'm not gonna start working weeks ahead for a job i'm not even getting paid for yet #for the same reason no one can expect me to work while sick for a job i haven't gotten a single penny from #hell even if i WAS paid no one could expecte me to work while sick #so i shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to work on my fic instead of the course plans #which btw i already sort of have because my predecessors gave me practically ALL the material i might need #so all i reallly need to do is change the dates of the course plans and bob's your uncle #but i'd like to also study the material a bit before teaching it so that i'll at least seem like i know what i'm talking about 💀 #mom said on the phone that i've managed situations like this before so i will manage this too and she's right i guess but 😭😭😭 #but yeah i guess this is some sort of developement from last year when i had the 'rona- #-and felt awful about ordering food/groceries in because ''i don't want to be a bother'' 😂

[quietwingsinthesky]

🌹:O

:3c

Lucifer doesn't care how the labcoats say it works; he knows there's no such thing as a clean break from a drift the minute the plug is pulled. Instead, Michael goes from a second consciousness beside his own to being dragged out of Lucifer the further Lucifer gets from him, both of them gripping tight to the connection until it slips, until it snaps, with a violent recoil that knocks Lucifer's brain out of alignment and reminds his legs that they don't work. His next step falls too fast, too heavily, and refuses to take his weight. It's only Michael, now only a voice outside of Lucifer's head yelling his name, catching him from behind that allows Lucifer to collapse to the floor with his dignity intact.

#is this more than one sentence? yes. yes it is. because tumblr deleted this post once and pissed me off. #i had so many tags about lucifer already and boom. gone. #anyway. tfw you see your boyfriend get severely injured during a battle and this makes you panic so bad you manage to make it a few meters #which is a lot for a guy who can't actually walk. #lucifer's got a whole Situation. turns out plugging a guy's brain up to a giant robot is not without its bugs. #especially when said guy was one of the first to be stuck inside the giant robot with his brother. and testing was a lower priority due to #everyone wanting a faster solution to the Giant Fucking Monsters. so lucifer's brain got overloaded and can't send signals to his legs #anymore to move right unless he's hooked up to a mech. technically when this first happened the doctor told him 'well if you stop doing mec #shit you can walk again.' but 1) he's not doing that. and 2) that was years ago. just because that recommendation is still on a file #somewhere doesn't mean it would actually work for him. or even that it would have back then. it's still the official answer for 'fixing' hi #because that's better optics than the truth. which is that he can't walk.* #(technically. technically. if he was left disconnected from the mech for a week he could walk. it would also be exhausting. and painful. #and slow. this is not something lucifer considers to be helpful information when he moves faster and with more ease in his chair. #this is something other people like to point out about him that makes him want to start hitting them. and it's not even really true anymore #the 'a week disconnected' thing. again. was a long time ago. it would take over a month for him to stand nowadays.) #(v few people Get all of this but like. michael is one of them. he's in lucifer's head enough that it would be weirder for him not to get i #add to that him being one of the few people who has seen lucifer walk nowadays and focused more on 'hey he looks like he hates that' #than praising it. and he gets it. and is also the requisite amount of annoyed when lucifer *runs off* before michael can help him into his #chair!! not the first time this has happened and will not be the last. michael's used to catching him.) #ask #oh my god that was so much rambling. this isnt even the point of the fic btw. this is just. backstory. worldbuilding.

[47-protons]

i need to kill the creature in my brain i think

#gripping it and shaking it and slamming it to the ground #sometimes it is small and little. like a hamster or perhaps a domesticated rat. it is managable #i can hold it and cuddle it close to my chest and go hey. Hey. you're okay. promise. you've misinterpreted something #and here is what is actually happening. #and other times. it is just a giant hulking mass of dark fuzzy goop and if it touches you you lose time and everything is fuzzy and muted #and you are beating it off with a broom or a stick or your bare hands or a childhood book you grabbed off the shelf #and it's larger than the room you're in and it's all encompasing and it's so so so so so fucking Mean to you. #and i can't ever kill it. but sometimes if i take a nap. or cry it out. it at least gets smaller. maybe down to a Particularly irate #large dog. and then from there. when we have both calmed down. i can see that this dog just has a thorn or a sticker in its paw or something #and i can help it. and we can both calm down. and we are both so so so tired. and it will go back to being a hamster. and i can hold it. #and this cycle will always repeat #you pick out the hurt and you look at it and you go Well. seeing it helps. and i at least Know now. what hurt me so bad #but it doesn't necessarily stop you from stepping in the sticker patch again y'know?? #especially when sometimes i think my parents will toss whole sticker bushes at me and not realize it #and i feel lowkey like i'm sitting in the middle of the elementary school baseball diamond again. surrounded by stickers and goatheads. #none of this makes sense but i am Very bad with emotion words. i have sad and happy and a few other specific ones #but for the most part beyond that?? every feeling i feel is not Words it is Situations And The Feelings Attached To It #loving my dog is like being taken to an ice cream shop on your birthday as a young child #loving my best friend is like standing in the grass with your shoes wet from the dew watching the sunrise and the specific rose-pink #that the clouds turn in mid-august.

[noxtivagus]

I LOVE LITERATURE SO MUCH. MY FAV COURSE FR

#🌙.rambles #ARGHHH TODAY WAS SO GOOD #w biology w the. oh my god i missed lab so much 🥺 #i was just so curious n interested the whole time n it made me so so happy looking n managing stuff yk n #i'm rlly a fast learner 😭 i ended up helping some classmates w their own yk #literature tho i was so happy oh my god i was the only one who liked the 3rd short story the most #MARK ON THE WALL BY VIRGINIA WOOLF !!!! 🤍 #ms. was talking abt how out of the three it's the most. complex? idk but a lot of ppl didn't understand it as well i think #MY CLASSMATES CLAPPED WHEN I STOOD UP BCS #for each story ms asked us all to stand up for which is your fav n so with mark on the wall i was uh. the only one #hflsfksjfs n then the last question before ending class.. smth w element of plot n what does it mean to be human #i was fucking restless in my seat but i'm so shy so my hand was shaking but #at the end i finally got the courage to recite 🥺 IM SO HAPPY IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF #n then today i think i actually felt for once that i'm part of my class bcs i'm usually so shy #back to that question tho. this is my fucking expertise #made me rlly realize i am such an empath :^) i won't deny my intelligence i love it actually #i think. a Lot. i do consider myself to be decently self-aware. i know myself well #i can. understand others more personally too yk? oh my god i'm rlly glad w what i recited in class hehe #i cld've said sm more but hflsjgksjfs >< i'm happy w how i presented myself #honestly when i'm not nervous or anxious i really thrive. i'd be a really good friend n lover maybe n. speaking comes naturally #when i'm not nervous 💀 n when i'm passionate abt smth bcs i cld speak on the spot n have a coherent yk lil impromptu recitation or speech #n do well <3 i rlly mean it when anxiety just fucks me up bcs i'm confident in my own self #in the car rn n earlier dad brought up the concert n said he was actually rather interested in going #yh he knows their genre n all 🥺 n uhm. of how lyrics aren't very 'wholesome' as he said T_T #OFC.... MY DAD LOVES MUSIC YK HFLSKFJS #he's interested in accompanying us bcs we need an adult but he. has work so :c #we'll buy the tix later i think but mom said like condition no tailor for our prom dress this year #YEAH NP FUCK LOOKING PRETTY. MUSIC IS BETTER. #maybe tailor w grad ball or wtvr next year >.> honestly i'm just all in for the experience. #i don't care much for looking pretty or having a date for just shows n looks n confidence. i care more for the experience as a whole