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voidendron · 4 years

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Deep Blue Sea: Ch. 16

Chapter 16: Abandoned Subnautica/JSE Egos Crossover

(( note: I haven’t played/watched gameplay for Below Zero yet, so please don’t spoil anything for me! Things from this fic might retcon stuff that happens in it, and I apologize if they do, but I don’t want to spoil any more of the game for myself than what already has been ‘til I can play the whole thing through myself ))

Warnings: Swearing Characters: Marvin the Magnificent, Jameson Jackson, Dr. Schneeplestein, Chase Brody, Jackieboy Man POV: Marvin the Magnificent

Silence.

Pale Faces.

Keen’s words hung in the air between them.

“…We need to help him.” Jackie’s voice startled the rest of them from their shocked trance.

Marvin swallowed. Shook his head. Oh, hell no. “Are you insane?!” He ran his hands through his hair with a shaky breath. “There’s somethin’ here! We need to get off this island!”

“I am not putting my life on the line for someone else,” the doctor growled.

Jameson signed something—Marvin had no idea what it was, but his frantic nodding had him figuring that the chef agreed with them.

“He’s in danger!” the security guard insisted. “The recording was recent—he could still be alive!”

“Jackie’s right.”

Marvin’s head whipped toward Chase when he agreed. “No. No, no, no. He’d been so damn calm in his other messages, and how he’s panicking! You really want to run into whatever made Keen panic?!”

Chase frowned. “It’s a small island. How bad could it be?”

Their three-against-two changed when Jameson ducked his head, then offered an agreeing nod. He was signing again—Marvin would really need to learn those, wouldn’t he?—and the other two so…hellbent on saving Keen sagged with relief.

“Really no other way to change your minds?” the entertainer asked.

“We’ve gotta find Keen,” Jackie repeated, “and hopefully Yu, too. There were only two of ‘em, there’s five of us.”

“Yeah!” Chase was tucking his flippers and Seaglide near some…ferns? was that what they were?

“And if something does come after us?” Marvin challenged, gesturing harshly first at the doctor, then Jameson. “Doc’s ankle is fuckin’ shredded and James’s got broken ribs. They’d be picked off easy.”

“Anything attacks either of them—any of us—” Jackie hoisted up his broken flare in threat; he didn’t have to say any more than that.

Marvin and Henrik glanced at each other. For once, it seemed like they were both on the same page: They did not want to meet whatever had gone after Keen. Did the other three just not understand self-preservation? God…

He tossed his flippers near where the others were putting theirs. His air tank and Seaglide followed, but he was far more careful not to throw those down.

Seeing Henrik’s flippers actually laying with everyone else’s made him double-take. Marvin had always thought he had big feet. Definitely made sense why both of them had needed more materials than the original dive suit blueprint had called for.

Deep breath. The others were leaving the beach, leaving the two of them behind. Well, Marvin would much rather stick with the group than be left alone on the island.

“Come on,” he grumbled. He really wished they’d brought survival knives. He’d feel a little better if he could at least defend himself. “So!” he called ahead—both Chase and Jackie glanced back at him. “Any plan for what we’re gonna do if we find whatever went after them?”

“Depends on what it is, I guess.” Chase shrugged; he was walking backwards now.

Marvin just frowned and shook his head, watched the path ahead of them.

Wait.

…Path?

Henrik was eyeing it, too.

“Please tell me you’re thinking the same thing.”

“Something has traveled this same route for a long while, yes.”

They were following the path, and Marvin couldn’t help the unease settling into his gut. The feeling only amplified when they came across an old habitat and its overgrown garden.

Glances cast around, and Jackie was the first to approach the settlement.

It looked abandoned. Falling apart. Broken windows.

It had been there a long time.

“…I don’t think we’re the first to get stranded here,” Jackie said, voice soft.

Then, he was suddenly yelping; Marvin and the others jumped and scrambled away. From the way Marvin saw it, he was acting solely on instinct when he swung his flare and the little ankle-biter of a creature went flying.

When he blinked at it, Marvin actually found it in himself to snort. Was that thing some kind of…crab?

“Scared the hell outta me,” Jackie muttered, “but there’s no way that’s what had Keen panicked.”

“Unless he got swarmed?” Marvin suggested.

“Maybe..? I’m don’t know…”

Chase cleared his throat, pointing to the habitat. “They had to have made it off the planet, right?” Chase was inching forward, toward the multipurpose room’s shattered window. It looked like a mudslide had caused it. “I mean, it’s clearly been abandoned a long time.”

Marvin’s eyes were scanning the old habitat. He didn’t like this.

“Yo, check this thing out!”

When Chase tried bolting in through the broken window, Marvin grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him back. “That window’s broken. You really want to step on glass with bare feet?”

“But look!”

Marvin’s gaze followed his pointing finger. There was…something, in the room. Glowing. It didn’t look like anything he’d ever seen before. “What is that thing..?”

“I mean. It looks like the mud’s covered all the glass?”

When Marvin’s grip slackened, he must have taken that as a go-ahead and ran into the room. He was careful while climbing through the window not to cut himself on any of the glass that still remained, and when he came back he had something in each hand.

“There was a data log, too. Also, this thing’s surprisingly light? Like…what is it?”

He gave the data log to Jackie to put in his PDA, then set the glowing whatever-it-was on the ground between all of them.

“Is like a tablet,” Henrik said.

“Yeah,” Chase agreed, “but it doesn’t look human.”

It seemed Marvin and Henrik had the same idea when they both reached for their scanners. Marvin’s scan finished first, and everyone’s PDAs chirped as the data was transmitted to all of them. When he read the information, he only shook his head.

“I really doubt it’s human. Estimated to being abandoned here hundreds-to-thousands of years ago? Yeah, definitely not ours.”

“Alien technology?” Henrik winced as he knelt down to pick it up, ran his fingers over the glowing purple symbol. “What were these people doing with it?”

“Well, from the sounds of it,” Jackie said—another chirp as the data log transferred from his device to the rest of theirs, “—they found it, and also had no idea what it was.”

“They? How many?”

“I count four people in the recording. Three men and a woman, but I’m relying on the PDA translating for me ‘cause they’re definitely not speaking English.”

Marvin opened the new file on his own device, listened for a moment, then shut it off to read over the translation instead. “Sounds like they were from a Mongolian settlement. I don’t speak it, but I’ve performed for one a few times.”

Four people had lived in this now-abandoned habitat: Two Torgals (probably related, he figured), Sepse, Maida. Where had they gone..?

When Chase and Jackie explored the rest of the habitat and came back with a few more data logs, it looked like where they’d gone was deeper. Much, much, deeper.

Apparently they were part of Torgal Corporation—no wonder the names were familiar. Paul was the head of the company and had gone missing about ten years ago. It hadn’t been the same since.

…Ten years ago. God. They’d never made it off the planet, had they? Would that be their fate, too? He could feel his stomach twisting.

Bart was Paul’s son and heir to the company, Marguerit Maid a hired mercenary, and Antony Sepse a microbiologist.

He could see it in the pale faces of his comrades they all feared the same fate, and it was Chase to break their silence.

“I…I kinda doubt we’re in the mood now, but I see two more habitats.” He outstretched an arm, pointing. “There, and there.” Perched oh so precariously at the tops of two mountain peaks were, sure enough, two more habitats clear even through the fog that seemed to have lifted some. “C’mon. We can still try findin’ Keen and Yu. Who knows. Maybe we’ll have better luck than that group did.”

Marvin closed his eyes and took a slow, steadying breath. They’d find a way off the planet. They had to. But…did that really mean rescue never came for that group..? No, don’t think about it, he scolded himself. Instead, he offered a hand to help Henrik back to his feet, and the five of them started for one of the habitats.

What they found didn’t lift their spirits any. A PDA, not a data log, met them. Bart and Antony—the other two were dead?—regretting going down so far. Bart was ill in the recording. With the scientist’s help, they were trying to find a cure, but failing. One of them mentioned that Antony was wearing a special suit—some sort of hazmat diving suit—that had kept him from catching the same illness, and now left him needing to be extremely careful not to touch Bart with his bare hands.

Then it was over. Nothing more to the recording; just a dying man and one of his crew members trying to save him.

“I’m really startin’ to hate this planet,” Chase growled. “What do you think he had?”

Instead of an answer, Henrik pulled his scanner from his hip and ran a scan on himself. The answer had Marvin furrowing his brow.

“Performing self-scan. Vital signs normal. Detecting trace amounts of foreign bacteria. Continuing to monitor.”

He aimed it at Jameson. Same answer. Jackie: Same. Every one of them ended up with the same results. “Trace amounts of foreign bacteria” just kept looping in Marvin’s head. That couldn’t be good. Right? How the hell would they even have it? They didn’t even know that it was the same thing Bart had, but a part of Marvin very much was suspecting that it was.

“Could just be…I dunno, some sorta alien flu?” Chase shook his head and stood a little straighter. “We’ll keep an eye on it, okay? Don’t let it get to you, though. We’ll worry about it if we need to.”

If we need to, Marvin’s thoughts parroted. As if they hadn’t just listened to a man dying in a recording.

“…Do we really want to check that last habitat?” Marvin leaned out the door to peer across at it. “Things are just getting fuckin’ worse and worse on this island.”

Keen and Yu attacked by something. Survivors from ten years before who’d probably died long before rescue could even hope to find them. Some weird alien artifact that Henrik and Jameson were taking turns carrying. An alien sickness.

“Whatever is there can only be the cherry on top, yes?” Henrik grumbled. He was leaning against the wall, foot held off the ground. Jameson was sitting on the floor near him, eyes squeezed shut and hand pressed to his chest.

“Besides,” Marvin added, “those two clearly need a rest, and I am not resting on this island. Far as we know, whatever went after Keen and Yu could be, oh I don’t know, watching us?!”

Chase grimaced and gave Jackie a look.

“We, ah…” He ran a hand through his bleached hair, fingers catching the tangled curls. “What if we have them head back to the habitat? And…you can join ‘em?”

Jackie started nodding. “We can’t just abandon those two if they’re still alive. I’m not doin’ it.”

“And splitting up is probably the worst thing we can do,” Marvin muttered.

“We either split up, or all go to the next habitat together. I’m not leavin’ this damn island until we at least know what happened to them.” Chase crossed his arms, closing himself off for further debate. He’d made up his mind and there was no way Marvin was going to change it.

“Fine.” Marvin pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine. I want them alive just as much as you do, but I’m not risking my life for them.”

Chase shouldered past him. “Then let’s get back to the damn beach so you can leave. Fuckin’ hell.”

Did Marvin feel guilty for it? Sure. Did he feel awful leaving just the two of them on the island while he took their injured comrades back to their habitat? Sure.

Was he going to risk his life for someone who sounded like they probably dead anyway? Hell no. Marvin knew his priorities, and that definitely wasn’t one of them. He felt bad for Keen and Yu, holped that whatever killed them hadn’t let them suffer, or that they had, by some miracle, survived—but he wasn’t going to stick his neck out for them.

He’d had enough near-death experiences these last few days to last a lifetime, thank you very much.

Flippers back on, air tanks attached to their masks, Jameson helped into the Seamoth, and they were off.

His only thoughts were “good luck” when he glanced over his shoulder, saw Chase and Jackie at the edge of the island now, watching for them to make sure they made it a safe distance away. Then the two of them disappeared into the brush.

Good luck, he thought. You’re gonna need it.

#fanfic #jacksepticeye #subnautica crossover #the septics #marvin the magnificent #chase brody #jackieboy man #dr. schneeplestein #jameson jackson #blitz indites #deep blue sea #dbs ch16 #swearing /

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neutralonketchup · 5 years

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all of them. every single one

sweet and pure asks

🐰- do you believe in soul mates?

not really. I believe that people can be very similar and naturally complimentary to one another but I believe too much in people’s ability to change and not enough in fate to believe in soul mates. also I think its restricting to think that there’s one perfect person out there for you and that each person you meet could be them so you Better Not Lose Them. so yeah tl;dr No

💌- diary or journal?

Journal

✨- which fictional character (book, show, or movie) do you relate to most?

Most recently Llewyn Davis which isn’t a good thing but more generally probably any iteration of Peter Parker

💕- are you crushing on someone?

Nope, and i haven’t been for an Almost Concerning amount of time

💋- kissing in the dark or kissing in the rain?

The rain, simply because you can feasibly see whats goin on

🐝- describe your aesthetic in emojis

😴👻🍂☔️🧙🏼‍♂️

🍼- what is your favorite memory?

Not a specific memory but more a Genre of memory: summers as a like 10-13 year old, having absolutely no responsibilities or obligations, waking up to a cool breeze blowing through the window and knowing that the day is entirely truly yours. It was the most relaxing state of being and I doubt I’ll ever feel that again. More recently a few days ago me n a buncha my friends sat down and played Minecraft on a LAN server for like 7 straight hours and it’s honestly the most fun I can remember having in a long time

🌸- what is your favorite flower?

I really like lavender, but also white roses are beautiful in how delicate and pure they are, and cherry blossoms will never not take my breath away

💖- have you ever been in love?

I honestly don’t know. Possibly? The trouble with love is I don’t know if you ever know you’re in it until you’re in it.

🍰- strawberry or vanilla?

Vanilla

🍯- describe your favorite smell

The smell carried by the wind on a grey, blustery, intermittently stormy fall day. The kind of day where the only sunshine you see comes down in rays through distant breaks in the clouds and when you step outside the smell of wet leaves and winter on the way fills you with a Sense Of Power.

🎂- if you had 3 wishes, what would they be?

1. To constantly have enough money for whatever I wanted to spend it on

2. To make everyone in the world respect the Human Rights Of eachother

3. Shape-shifting

🍪- cookie dough or cookies?

Cookie dough

☕- coffee or tea?

Tea, black with cream and 3 sugars

🍃- would you rather live in a sea with mermaids or a forest with fairies?

The sea. I’ve always thought since I was a little kid that if I could live underwater I’d be the most comfortable I’d Ever Be

🍂- what’s your middle name?

Robert

💫- what is your sun, moon, and rising sign?

Libra (which is why these are all paragraphs explaining my indecisiveness), Capricorn, and Leo

🌧️- favorite thing to do on rainy days?

Curl up next to a window and read or play video games or watch a movie or do something to recharge in proximity to the storm

🍭- how tall are you?

6’ 2”

💒- which show would you want to live in?

Oh gosh most of the shows I watch take place in worlds that’d Kill Me, and that includes Galavant but imma still say Galavant cuz Swords + Singing + Dumb Comedy is an ideal way to live. Runner up is the X-files cuz I’d die but I’d die in an atmospherically pleasing way and that’s all I need.

🎄- what is your favorite holiday?

Halloween. No contest. There’s candy, a fun spooky atmosphere, good weather, and absolutely no obligation to travel home and see family

🍦- what scented candle is your favorite?

I’ve got one right now that’s called Waterfall I think that is perfect in a way I think scented candles should be which is that it makes the room smell imperceptibly good. You don’t consciously notice when it’s lit but the room smells subtly Better

🎶- favorite song right now?

Movement by Hozier

💘- 3 ways to win your heart?

The number one way is humor but I don’t mean that in a Tell Jokes kinda way I mean like you gotta be able to pick up on and run with bits with me and be able to have a back and forth so I guess it’s more creativity in general than just humor but like if you take a joke I make and run with it and send it right back my heart melts, like all my friends are So Funny I love them so much. Other than that kindness and a gentle nature because that means you’re a person I can easily be around and on top of that passion. For whatever. I know people who are super into Silent Film and Flags and Irish Poetry and all sorts of other stuff that I’m not particularly into myself but I love hearing about it because they’re all so passionate about it and they make it interesting with their own interests and Yeah

🍩- current mood?

Weirdly Alive which is strange because I’ve been sleepwalking through life for almost 6 months now

❄️- what is your favorite season?

Fall and nothing else comes close. It’s magical.

💍- your current relationship status?

Single and Staying That Way

📷- a photo of yourself

Here’s one from tonight

💅🏻- do you like being spoiled?

I mean on the level that everyone does cuz doing things for yourself sucks but tbh I can’t stand it because I can’t accept people going out of their way for me

🕊️- 3 habits you have?

1) Pacing. I do it constantly, to the point where it makes others uncomfortable

2) Whistling. It’s my brains autopilot function and probably really annoying for those around me

3) Drumming on things with my fingers

🦄- how do you perceive yourself?

Honestly Not Well. I don’t think a lot of myself. Like I think I’m smart and decently funny and like kinda attractive but I have no motivation and no marketable skills and no confidence. So basically as someone who is kinda Lost currently

🦋- how do you think others perceive you?

From what I’ve gathered, better than I do myself. People seem to think I’m funny and like a good dude to be around. But at the same time I think I’m pulled in so many different directions in my life that I’m not Overly Close with too many people so I don’t think a lot of people think they can come to me with stuff which is sad but something I’m trying to change. Also people come onto me a lot so potentially I’m Hot? Needs more research

🌈- things I find attractive in girls/guys

Well things I find attractive universally are humor, a nice smile, contagious laughter, intelligence, confidence, passion, and sorta grunge-y, indie clothes. I really like glasses. And I’m a big fan of tall lanky scruffy dudes, which I think calls for some introspection on my part as to my Image but that’s a whole different issue

🍓- one secret about yourself

I cried for 2 hours straight after watching Honey I Shrunk The Kids at age 7

🍒- how do you act when you have a crush?

Prolly really dumb. I haven’t had one (that I’ve been consciously aware of at least) for a while but I like go outta my way to talk to them and talk about them and do shit specifically to impress them and all that kinda fun stuff

💔- the reason behind your last breakup?

I’m not Emotionally Prepared to be in a relationship at this stage in my life, I’m not happy when I’m committed like that, so my last couple have been because of my own unhappiness and uncertainty

💬- what your last text message says?

My last message sent to someone was over Snapchat and was just “it’s a concern” but my latest actual Text Message was “That is understandable and I will now be turning myself in to campus police”

🎥- what show are you currently binging on?

I’m currently avoiding TV shows because if I start one I’ll HAVE to finish it asap and I can’t handle that kinda restriction on what I can watch (I’ll get around to it) but the most recent one I binged was The Haunting Of Hill House which is phenomenal please watch it

⛅- what is your morning routine?

Wake up, turn off my alarm, wake up again approximately 3-5 minutes before the start of my first class, sit up slowly cursing heavily, pull on the same pants from last night cuz my belt and wallet are still in them, throw on a sweater, brush my teeth/deodorize, put on walking music, walk to class and prepare an excuse

💗- who do you miss?

Currently not any one person specifically but most of my Theatre Friends have been Super Busy with a show for the past like 2 months straight so I haven’t seen any of them outside of class and I really miss them but the show has Ended so I’ll be seeing them more now

🥀- last time you cried?

Last week my friend asked me if I’d removed a box of old dumplings from my car that’d been there since mid January (I had not) and I burst into tears

🎁- when is your birthday?

September 29 1998

🔪- scariest/creepiest experience?

Probably the time me n my friends drove out to a Haunted Bridge in the middle of the night to “find a ghost” and we didn’t find anything but i was terrified the whole time anyways. Also the time I thought someone had broken into my home over the summer and had to Sweep and Clear with a meat cleaver

💤- date someone younger, older, or same age as you?

Close to my age, which might change as I get older and age starts to matter less but right now it’s a big deciding factor in Shared Life Experience

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trespeak · 7 years

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™ The wonderful @raytaku tagged me for a meme thign. U da bes, Ray!

5 things you’ll find in my bag:

my iPad Air 2

my journal

a pair of Finn and Jake Funko Pop keychains (technically on the bag but w/e)

a fortune cookie to read on my radio show (except when I fucKING FORGET TO PUT ONE IN THERE)

no writing utensils, infuriatingly

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom:

posters (the ones I had up in my dorm before I moved out were these)

Adventure Time (Finn riding on Jake’s back with a sword and shield in front of their house)

Bravest Warriors

Daft Punk on the cover of Rolling Stone

the album art for 4x4=12 by deadmau5

Destiny: The Taken King

an Iron Giant print made for an on-campus screening

a stylized version of the O2 Arena in London

Regular Show

a 70′s style version of the Enterprise for Star Trek Beyond

the teaser poster for Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

a homemade Tiny and Big one

a promo poster for streaming the radio station I DJ on/volunteer at.

(I also want a Death Cab one and might end up printing myself a Scud the Disposable Assassin one and/or a Does It Offend You, Yeah? one. We’ll see.)

lots of old trash from food I haven’t bothered to clean up

an aging desktop rig and a Xbox One S

my fledgling collection of physical CDs, film and games:

Daft Punk’s Random Access Memories (first album I distinctly remember buying for myself)

Death Cab for Cutie’s Narrow Stairs (my favorite album ever, and a new addition)

Forza Horizon 3

Porter Robinson’s Worlds

Snakehips’s “All My Friends” single and remix EP

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (and the first two books in color and Seconds)

Sunset Overdrive

Turbo (that snail is fast)

White Sea’s In Cold Blood

Zedd’s Clarity (the Deluxe Edition)

a shit ton of cables and wires

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in life:

Git gud with a shit ton of music-related things (a more traditional DAW like Ableton or Logic, a MIDI controller like the Novation Launchpad or MIDI Fighter, turntables, etc.) and improve the quality of my production skills

Make a vidya gam! I have a license for GameMaker: Studio that’s kinda just lying around.

Start a podcast and streaming on Twitch/Beam/etc. Right now in the case of the former I actually do have a bit of a plan starting to come together (my working title is Late Night Game Night, and I’m gonna start with a six-episode season of fun little stories about games I love), but the latter has kind of hit a snag because I can’t get streaming to work on the networks in my dorm. We’ll see how it goes next year, I suppose.

Build myself a personal website that isn’t on Tumblr and doesn’t suck. (I’m actually kind of getting really close to this? I took a development class and it kind of lit the flame under my ass to teach myself how to get a site in working order.)

Go to E3, Coachella, Bonnaroo, Ultra Music Festival, Ibiza in general, Gamescom,

5 things that make me happy:

electronic music (holy CRAP yes, even beyond the stuff that’s gotten popular with the EDM revolution we’ve seen the past few years; a lot of my favorite artists are either kinda low-key or otherwise popular but without real mainstream success to speak of)

my Things (special interests) / characters in media that I end up heavily identifying with for whatever reason

when I scream about things I like on Twitter and actually get acknowledged by the creators of said things

my family and my friends, both here at home and in Kentucky

writing and being able to express myself through a variety of different means

5 things I’m currently into:

Scud: the Disposable Assassin (Drywall is my goddamn SON I love him so much y’all)

Pickle and Peanut (h8rs make me famous)

Gorillaz and Damon Albarn in general (Humanz has rekindled my love for Blur and Plastic Beach in a significant way)

Titanfall 2 (I’m loyal robot companion trash and I want to play it pretty badly even though I’ve spoiled myself on the plot)

Samurai Jack (I’mma get caught up real soon, I think)

5 things on my to do list:

get my finals done

read some comic books

apply for some jobs?

see how to go about getting college credit for an internship I’m doing over the summer

eat

5 things people may not know about me:

I have an off-the-wall universe of fictional stories focused around a really unusual place called Greyson City living in my head. The Stuck trilogy (which is 100% mine) and the Sparks spinoff series (created by my best friend, but developed with my help) are the core bits that really sorta serve as the foundation for it, but high school really pounded my ability to commit to because it was almost impossible to invest myself in it without having an adverse effect on my performance in classes. I’m slowly but surely coming around to the concept of coming back to it, though.

I make music. After the whole Stuck thing slowed down I needed a new creative outlet that I could still invest myself in without exhausting my ability to focus on my schoolwork when need be, and I found that music was much easier for me to do so with; I was still stimulating myself by getting into it, but it never ate into my time enough to have a negative effect on me the way my writing unintentionally did. I’d like to think I’ve gotten much better at it as time has gone by, too; my work has helped my personal projects stand out in college and is present throughout the near entirety of an indie film our film club made at school.

I was kind of an aggressive jerk when I was a kid; one time I punched a kid in the face in first grade for cutting me in line. (I feel like a fundamental change in personality happened with me between 1st and 2nd, and since then I’ve kind of just been a Soft Boy™ like most know me as today.)

In relation to the last point, I was bullied pretty ruthlessly in my earlier years, particularly during the second half of elementary school. I wouldn’t go so far as to say my experiences were something I’d choose to make happen if I had the option, but I do credit them for helping me develop a sense of empathy I probably wouldn’t have had (or at least been able to outwardly show) otherwise.

I’m tagging @rocketverliden, @ovisiphorus and @electro-bolt, and anyone else is welcome to do it too if they please

#treman's world #holy HIT this ballooned into a hell of a post #y'all can't say I don't talk about myself now >:3 #about me

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streetlites · 7 years

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Replies!

pixeltrashcan replied to your photo “Rando bamf townie cruisin past the criminal hideout… It’s the glasses!...”

LOOOOOL I freaking love her and am not surprised to see this in your game at all

I saw her and was like, I neeeeeeeed you! I’ll find her later, I’ll probably marry her into the family next generation... just, er, ignore the fact that she’s either a YA or T right now XD

something-wicked-sims replied to your photo “Rando bamf townie cruisin past the criminal hideout… It’s the glasses!...”

Damn. Looks like I decided to make a cameo appearance in your hood.

You and your bat need to show up more often!

something-wicked-sims replied to your photoset “Emilia!” The hair on the back of my neck rose but I kept walking....”

Ow my heart. But I kind of wish they would just stop running into each other. It's making me cringe.

Weeeeeeell... they do kinda work together. Emilia still hasn’t discovered the wisdom behind the phrase “don’t shit where you eat”. So they’ll see each other around. Lucky them. D:

something-wicked-sims replied to your photoset “My eyes burned. Ki-Tae has colic. What exactly that means, I don’t...”

Oh Gene, there's nothing I hate more than watching clingy ass people refuse to let go. Oh how the mighty have fallen. I need a plan B.

He is being fairly clingy, but I don’t really blame him for trying to warn her away from going to the raid. He does actually care about her and thinks he’s doing the right thing by trying to convince her not to go. But he’s annoying about it because Gene.

lovelychooser replied to your photo “Mood board tag! I was tagged by the wonderful @neutralsupply, the...”

LOVE THIS! But then, I love Em so I guess it's only natural. :D

I loved yours! So purple-y ooooh.

lovelychooser replied to your photo

^ agree with Nicole. Plus Yulian's hair is SO not stupid. :D

Shhh, it’s ok bb.

something-wicked-sims replied to your photo “Mood board tag! I was tagged by the wonderful @neutralsupply, the...”

Gene's board tho ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yeeeeeess ♥

glammoose replied to your photo “Mood board tag! I was tagged by the wonderful @neutralsupply, the...”

Oooh, interesting! I've never actually made a proper mood board before.

They were great!

something-wicked-sims replied to your photo “Mood board tag! I was tagged by the wonderful @neutralsupply, the...”

This is the legitest shit, seriously

I was afraid it wasn’t a proper on because it wasn’t too color matchy. I tried. There was an attempt.

pixeltrashcan replied to your photo

thank god it didn't go like this

It was the *kisskiss* that didn’t work for you, wasn’t it? :(

dinaswimmer replied to your photo

LMAO "kisskiss "

V. romance.

something-wicked-sims replied to your photo

You mean "How it DID go: AN AU by Jade's Brain"

It was an epic masterpiece. I’m glad you thought of it.

beautiful-enigma88 replied to your photoset “Emilia!” The hair on the back of my neck rose but I kept walking....”

Emilia had enough of his shit lmao.

Yeah, she’s pretty much done with him!

pixeltrashcan replied to your photoset “Emilia!” The hair on the back of my neck rose but I kept walking....”

Ugh fucking Gene making her try to feel and shit. I'm sorta happy she doesn't know if she loved him tho....

She feels like she doesn’t have anything to compare it to other than romance movies/novels and knows that she didn’t feel like that. She also knows that those things are garbage. That said, this is probably the most thought she’ll give that question before she goes back to ignoring shit like that.

lovelychooser replied to your photoset “Emilia!” The hair on the back of my neck rose but I kept walking....”

Those abs again. Making me feel about about myself and shit. :D

Right?! I think she’s been going crazy on the weight machine.

lovelychooser replied to your photoset “Gender Bender challenge? I was tagged by @pixiegal and I thought...”

Oh, my, Yuliana looks hooooot :D

That is a mighty handsome woman

lifeasasim replied to your photoset “[Obligatory Oasis Springs Appreciation Post]”

So beautiful!

Thank you!

tharmalegacy replied to your post “unpopular opinion: People with small dogs tend to spoil them rotten...”

Actually I spoil every dog. I've had big dogs, small dogs. Of course they behave, but they're spoilled to the core

I don’t mean ‘spoiled’ as in, “they get lots of love and treats”, I mean, “little dog snaps at a larger dog/person, owner laughs about little dog not knowing fear”. Little dog continues to be a jerkface until it hurts someone or gets hurt.

#pixeltrashcan #something-wicked-sims #lovelychooser #glammoose #dinaswimmer #beautiful-enigma88 #lifeasasim #tharmalegacy #replies #nonsims #saviorhide

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elizabethrobertajones · 7 years

Text

12x11 watching notes

For once I think it's kind of obvious what my expectations are if you've been reading my blog... I also was spoiled last night after it aired that my favourite reoccurring guest star is in it, but on the other hand there's a ton of second hand embarrassment... I've just got back from yoga so let's try and be zen and enjoy it :P

Also it's not a plot episode so I can be a bit more chill and enjoy the MotW nonsense without writing 100 miles of meta. I hope

Witches! (we already knew that, I'm just putting another note into "the only actual monster we've seen so far has been the one werewolf and one vampire Mary killed and everyone else has been a human, angel or demon this season" jar

I need a better label for that jar

Anyway from the looks of things this episode is all about a very human fear that just happens to be tripped by witchcraft and it would be a fucking waste not to milk it for 99% of the episode)

Holy shit they used the "poor little guy" from 3x09 that always breaks my heart. Are they really churning up old Edlund stuff so much that the recap was 90% 3x09 and they decided to give Dean a bunny BECAUSE of his broken heart at the sight of the dead bunny in 3x09?

I really hope Edlund is watching this season and laughing like crazy

Anyway before the promo is even over, we have an interesting point of thought for the episode, and a comparison back to Dean revealing a weird vulnerability for no reason in the middle of a case. And more Edlund parallels than you can shake a stick at.

Oh good the cold open is the witch who curses Dean... Definitely going to milk this for all it's worth. This is like fan fics where the first like 3 paragraphs are "and then they met a witch and it cursed them and then ran off or got killed" and all the rest is just whatever they actually wanted to write.

More Dean running around in woods (Purgatory callbacks), and mirroring a few episodes which started with the traditional cold open victim actually being the monster pursued by hunters.

Dean waking up lying in the forest on the ground... He's done that a few times, in more dire circumstances I've seen paralleled together - 11x01 and 5x04. Interestingly I guess knocked out both times by a dark mirror to himself but who would never actually harm him. There's something peaceful about the way he has the bunny hanging out with him.

It makes him seem harmless too.

...

You know I could stop watching this show right here... I've seen 12x10 and now I've seen Dean Winchester calmly pick up a rabbit and call it "buddy" I mean... is there even anywhere to go from here?

But I've heard Kuma is in the episode so I shall press on

Like, emotionally though, I think the show might be over for me :P

The town is called "Eureka Springs" which is kind of funny, because of the double water association and of course the association to revelation and learning. We gonna get a big scientific discovery about Dean outside of the now doubly confirmed fact that rabbits are his favourite animal?

KUMA

Oh dang he's got a big part here... Do I gif all of it?

I should probably backtrack because I was just reading myself writing about 2x20 for some reason this morning (I think I was looking for something else completely unrelated) and I stumbled on a little discussion about subverting it or, well, its obvious relevance now Mary is around. The woman with the stroller assumes Dean is homeless and tells him not to buy a drink when she gives him some cash, which I guess was a thing in that episode that everyone assumed Dean was a drunk. It's a tiny detail (I mean, he IS an alcoholic, although functioning better than usual and his drinking has got a lot better since he lost the Mark) but if we're peeling back Dean, I think an interesting little one to start with.

I mean, we've started with Purgatory!Dean, and Actual Fluffy Bunny Lover Dean, so... it's a bit wild.

Dean remembers Sam's number.

Not where he is though.

Waffles! I'm with Dean here.

I too drop everything in a crisis when waffles are an option and someone's just paid me to leave them alone.

(Okay that's never happened - I'm delightful)

"What psycho doesn't love waffles" I mean come on even METATRON loved waffles, although they did not love him. Which is perhaps a more important sign of how dreadful he was :P

Ah jeeze I really want waffles.

Promo scene!

We have NO idea what Dean did the night before, so the thing with the girl is even more out of context... I wonder what it will end up being about? He looked like he was pretty busy hunting that witch last night. Events do not add up.

Sam has been convinced by Dean asking for painkillers that it's a hangover, and I think *Dean*, knowing himself, might think he just got blackout drunk somehow. The woman telling him not to buy a drink remains vaguely important, thematically...

Sam also is getting concerned, and makes a general life advice warning to Dean to stop drinking so much.

Okay the girl who slapped Dean comes in, looks at him and goes "oh my god" and is ushered away by her friend - did THAT happen in the promo?

No, no it did not. Her response is given way more attention here - that was definitely edited out for the promo. Crafting the scene to look like something different. Huh. (I mean I know they've used different takes in promos, like in 10x01 using one which completely changed how much of a jerk Demon!Dean looked from the finished product... They do really manipulate these things.)

I really like how we're dumped on this case like Dean is - we only have one advantage, that we're already aware he's cursed while he isn't. Aside from that, we seem to be discovering it like Dean is, like how Sam springs the idea we're going to the morgue next on us.

Also did Dean lick his knife more intently in the promo asking for a friend

Huh I don't think her interaction with him has changed very much - I'm pretty sure she did just say hi then slap him in the promo too. The way she stopped when she saw him though is very suspicious because she sounded so horrified to see him.

Oh no Sam and Dean are wearing nice coats with their suits. I guess there's gonna be a lot of gifs :P

Really pretty morgue technician with no lines. Honestly if she doesn't get killed off that will mean finally after a lousy streak, we make it through an episode without a black woman being killed.

Well the first thing to go is Dean's ability not to be squeamish and weird. There's definitely a text post out there making fun of Dean for spending a year in Purgatory covered in guts, but getting weird about using a public telephone. Well, whatever barrier Dean has up about guts is aaall gone.

Please don't puke, we've made it over a season without you puking on screen and we're doing so well.

Oh no is this where Dean crashes the car. He's disappearing fast :< I thought that might be later in the episode.

I suppose Sam has to realise eventually that something is wrong with Dean.

I can't believe Sam lets Dean drive when he's "plastered"... I mean he must drive over the legal limit basically all the time and Sam's used to it, but can we just... make this a "wear seatbelts" road safety episode? Please take that car away from him, Sam.

OH NO Sam takes this moment for honesty hour - "Makes me want to crawl into a bottle too" - when Sam is drinking we KNOW it because he so rarely does it as a coping mechanism. I am indescribably sad about him saying that he feels this way :(

I mean I just take it for granted that Dean feels like shit so it's easier to deal with that :P I've been worried about Sam all season and he gives so few clues it's basically a pictures on a board linked with red string scenario to deduce if he's happy or not >.>

FINDING DORY REFERENCE

"Not going to apologise for loving that fish. Not to you, not to anyone." Dean has his barriers down and he does not care who knows he likes watching Disney movies. And the fact that it's probably Sam he's most prickly around when it comes to protecting that facade... Sam is, well, gonna learn a lot about Dean he feels like he probably didn't want to know :P

Honestly, Dean is me trying to remember the names of common household appliances.

There's something really bitchy about the way Sam labels the light stick and then covers the rest of the room in post it notes, even though Dean hasn't forgotten what they all are yet.

Rowena! :D Mostly because Dean doesn't want to bother Mom or Cas... I notice something there - Cas is someone who a few years ago they'd have absolutely bothered for some weird magical problem. Now Dean wants to keep EMOTIONALLY distant from them because they're his family and he doesn't want to worry them/them to see him like this/him to blurt anything he doesn't remember he isn't supposed to say... In this case the fact that Dean DOESN'T want to call Cas for help sure says a lot more about how much he likes him.

Anyway Rowena is a badass and I love how she gets into these weird scenarios. This one is much better than all the finding a rich husband and killing him malarky - fleecing rich dudes over rigged poker games is definitely more empowering :P

Okay yeah one of those post it notes says "Wall" - there is definitely a montage we missed of Sam being a hilarious bitch about it to Dean, and they're only phoning for help once it got kind of really not funny any more.

I wish we saw that

Dean and his "ICE BUCKET" what a tragedy

"All these dumps look the same" Dude, don't be rude to Wanek. I'll assume this is because you can't REMEMBER them.

Also the whole, living in a billion motels and until recently never having a place to call home thing - I was joking ages ago about Dean keeping a scrapbook about all the weird motels they went to or stealing mementos from them to remember the truly tacky ones... But the idea that almost all of them completely blur in his mind and he just doesn't notice or appreciate the differences...

I love using Dean's "the last thing I kinda sorta remember" to take us to the office. They mentioned Memento but honestly I'm still thinking "Dude where's my car" although I know Dabb hasn't watched that because he's deathly afraid of Emus, so it's possible Glynn had to sell the Memento angle despite having other things in mind.

Like Finding Dory

Dean steals a cigar (or two) - more implications that he smokes. I suppose when an angel heals you regularly or you were immortal for like a year and a half you kind of don't think of the consequences. I know some people don't really *smoke* smoke, but would have a good cigar if it came their way like this... I think Dean kind of has smoked in phases through the show, especially when he was younger, never mind all the implications he smokes weed, so... him stealing a few cigars is just more sneaky referencing this.

To the bar! Hey, waitress Dean got slapped by!

We have more stuff with the names and badges - Dean messing up getting his badge out in time because he forgets to do it, forgetting what their cover is... Basically, a little demonstration that he's forgetting their covers in general - HIS covers in general. The FBI identity is something I've written reams on so I won't go into it but yeah it's his Performing!Dean next layer up, and what he does with it can often tell us stuff about how he's acting with his more sturdy and thorough Performing!Dean layer underneath, before we get to fluffy bunny lover Dean who watches Finding Dory.

Anyway she calls him out for using ANOTHER name the night before, and he's like "sometimes we have to lie to protect our cover" which is the most Dean saying ever.

Oh hey and then as usual with the badge thing, a moment later we're slammed with something RIDICULOUS like, for example:

"And then you hit the bull." "What??" < both Winchesters "Oh yeah, you had the hots for Larry as soon as you walked in." "He - you... rode Larry?" *Dean shrugs like whatever* "Was I good?"

yeah so that's not a coded conversation that sounds SUPER FUCKING GAY out of context and considering the "hots for Larry" comment, doesn't do so badly IN context, especially as it's such a, uh, suggestive thing :P There's a girl riding it in the background and yeah, the whole movement to keep on the bull? I know it seems like a manly sport, but it involves a lot of writhing and pelvic movement and that bull is like as masculine an icon as you can get.

And Dean had the hots for it

oh god :P

Worked to win the waitress over anyway :P

And she apologises for taking advantage of him. Wow. I don't think Sam and Dean even know what all those words mean put together in that order. :P

"First action in I don't know how long, and it's like it never even happened. Figures." "See now that's comedy"

When WAS the last time Dean hooked up? Back in season 11 some time... 11x13 it was suggested. (I have a lot of Snymelo vibes from this episode)

Honestly Cas is living right at the Bunker just man up and go talk to him and I guarantee that I could get you some action in about 2 lines of dialogue if you let me...

(Sadly last episode actually convinced me that there's really good reasons Cas hasn't made a move and Dean is pining unsuccessfully after him so I can't even be mad :P)

"It's like watching myself on netflix" Aw

"I know how to shoot a gun!??"

:D Oh sweetie

Sam giving Dean the Talk.

No that sort of talk. the "monsters are real" talk.

You know who does that? CRAZY PEOPLE.

Nope, "Awesome. That's awesome."

He's feeling a bit better about the job I guess than back in Yellow Fever where he had the equivalent moment.

Aw he found a torch! He's so happy! "I'll man the flashlight" Yeah this is Yellow Fever again :P

Oh god we're only 18 minutes what can possibly-

Jesus Christ Siren Episode reference You've not talked about that for EIGHT YEARS.

See, last night I compared these 2 episodes before this one ever aired with the assumption that the Yellow Fever parallels might be obvious but the Siren Episode would only be a sort of leech onto that because of its own parallels to Yellow Fever so we would have to walk through YF as an intro to the Siren Episode and how it could be applied to this one

(Sue me I was already planning the meta and this episode is following the exact same pattern as Yellow Fever and the Siren Episode so I'm feeling really vindicated, right about now :P)

The point I made LAST night was that Sam had been reading Dean wrong all this time and messing up his chance to understand him in the previous episodes. This time, Sam doesn't really have any reason why he'd get Dean wrong? The enemy of the season is miscommunication and not understanding Dean is Sam's biggest miscommunication.

Whether he's taking advantage of Dean's cheerful no-memory state, and the suspicion Dean won't remember him bringing it up again or what, Sam feels secure telling Dean about the Siren, at least I assume not telling Dean HE was attracted to it, but that this is a thing that happens. Dean can't lash out, Dean doesn't feel defensive... He just takes this information as Sam tells it to him without being weird about it.

The fact Sam remembered and wanted to tell Dean though... Well, like I said, Yellow Fever and the Siren Episode are basically the same thing ESPECIALLY from Sam's perspective. Here he is for the 3rd time and Dean's all fucked up again, and no wonder Sam remembers.

He also mentioned Djinn "not granting wishes" which means my reference to 2x20 earlier was super legit. *more smugness*

(sorry :P This episode is fun. I like that the new writers have watched the show)

Anyway, I'll be thriving off that reminder for a while :D Better carry on watching before I get sucked into a vortex of comparing episodes before I even know how this one goes.

Aw Sam calls it "the Talk"

"Best job ever!"

Dean thinks they sound like heroes, Sam, who has the lived experience, voices some actual goddamn complaints about the job. GO SAM. I guess he's thinking Dean won't remember this conversation and so he can voice some things.

So HE does the "you know who does that? CRAZY PEOPLE" speech that Dean didn't make.

AAAAAAAAAAAAH Bloody handprint. "Our best friend's an angel! WHaaaaaat!!!" I worry :P

Cas will be fine, I don't think Jared's even had his 3rd kid yet. Misha needs to give them all paternity leave by having more Cas-centric episodes.

What a beautiful set up. Smol babies and more Cas.

But yeah something horrid might happen to Cas briefly.

Also Sam told Dean that he was "our best friend" and so Dean is totally failing to grasp exactly what Cas means to him.

He probably only remembers Sam as well as he does because he's right in front of him - if Dean had been with Mary or Cas he'd have forgotten the other 2

"Is that a dead guy?"

Dean looks grossed out but also "Cool!" because dead monster.

Witches! These guys seem like fun people.

"I want my family back" she says while having Mary's hair and looking at the dead guy.

Oh dear.

"Is that a dead guy?"

Sam needs to get a post it note for the dead guy.

ROWENA

"your hair is so bouncy" I think Dean is full of cute observations like this he's just never allowed to say and I think that's so sweet I might barf.

(You should hear how he talks about Cas ANYWAY)

Dean remembers porn but not quality TV oh dear >.> Sam puts Scooby Doo on for him, which I guess is sort of Dean's role in this episode :P More dogs on TV - reminder of the second "dog that thinks it's people" line with the person who said it the first time in the room...

"Dean Winchester is going to die." "Sucks for that guy!" Well at least he's happy :P

Sam drags him away for a toilet conversation

Dean briefly regains a sense of self and is miserable

Sam why did you do that

"You know, I've seen my brother die, but watching him become... not him. This might actually be worse" Please, you watched him descend into the Mark of Cain and then babysat demon!Dean for an episode, this isn't new :P

OH SHIT here's the "my name is Dean Winchester" speech and it's delivered directly into a mirror I am not going to make it

That was terrible also can I have a new heart something happened to this one *shows a box of shards to the cashier*

Sam don't be bitchy to Rowena when she's the only one who can help.

And Dean is struggling to remember anything

Oh nooooo

Poor Dean :( :( :(

or whoever he is

Sam is putting Dean's life on the line to be weird about Rowena helping them.

OH NO Dean's still struggling with it

"I don't know"

*wails*

"Stop touching everything!"

I kind of love poor Dean when he's like this :( He's so sweet and... I don't know. Living in the moment because that's all he's got.

Also who is that voodoo doll of because they're having a terrible day too.

Aww Rowena already hates the British Men of Letters, so I guess she'll be helping later.

"These witches sound like dicks. I think you have plenty of snuff."

Dean interpreted that she was talking about herself despite not knowing anything. Dean is good at subtext.

Also that has real echoes of "Doug's a dick, you deserve better" which made me squeee over Dean x Donna although obviously as the waitress said, it would be completely taking advantage of Dean so Rowena better not butter him up too much while his barriers are down. Especially as Dean has a "ugh witches!" gag reflex while himself.

It's also interesting that this is a barriers down thing for him to say. He was still getting over ACTUALLY being roofied when they talked to Donna that time, and I didn't think Dean was totally out of it there because he was engaged quite well in the conversation, but heh, it's an interesting comparison.

"What a gift not to remember the things you've done!"

Oh no don't TELL him, Rowena.

"You're a killer" "scores of people" *gagging* "the greater good" (hey we had a "the greater good" earlier this season, right? I was laughing about the parallels to Hot Fuzz... Was it something the BMoL said? I see to recall paralleling their control of England to the baddies' control of the village)

I like that Dean and Rowena both have a gag reflex about each other's professions. But really loving this dynamic.

He might forget in a minute that Rowena told him he was a killer, at least.

Rowena having honesty hour because like Sam she's assuming Dean won't remember this (as you might have guessed I am fascinated about what Dean DOES remember about this)

"Power's what matters" Oh my god she's had actual character growth about this because of having to watch God and Amara suck at being the most powerful beings in the universe. Haaa.

Rowena does love nose-booping Dean

Sam is being pretty dangerous and scary in that way he gets when Dean is dying. Why do I get the feeling he's about to get a lesson in being reckless.

I wonder what the butterflies symbolise. We've seen them on the show before, but in very different contexts. Hope someone else is on that because I have no immediate ideas. Like that they re-animate to cause harm. Not sure how much symbolism here for what though :P

Aw Rowena does care :D in her own way. No respect for the car. Pfft.

(I feel like someone's gonna be all "Dean remembered Sam when he was in danger!" but the phone is right there with his name on so I'm not sure)

Having Gideon laid out like that is pretty ominous...

"We can bring him back!"

Yeah, okay, that was fairly obvious since he was still in the room the whole time :P

Wow guess they're swapping Sam for him or something.

- Aw Rowena wearing a long black coat and being badass.

Eeeeee more Rowena backstory.

I love her so much.

I mean everything we learn about her is so sad but it makes her motivations to be badass and not take any shit and obtain wealth and have nice hair really sympathetic :P

I am really loving how they're making Rowena more sympathetic.

Grenade launcher: DENIED

I swear to god this had better be building to Dean shooting it in 12x23 as the crowning moment of awesome for the season or what is even the point

Are these all Rowena's notes or did Sam leave the ones in the trunk

Whoever did it (I shall have to look at your handwriting again) you did good.

BUT

It was using Dean as a weapon. He had no idea who he was, no purpose, just these orders/suggestions and he went on instinct, couldn't even talk, COULD fire a gun, and had enough instinct to load the gun, walk into the house, and fight the witches.

I'm reminded of 9x21 (which I will be watching up next! Aaaah the dang rewatch! And GAVIN coming back...... Although maybe the new and improved Rowena might make that more interesting)... Whoops I... forgot... What I was saying. Uh. 9x21. Dean in the middle of the dark decent. Goes to kill Abaddon (mirrored in the fight with Lily and Ishim last episode), and for the entire scene from the moment he comes in the door, I think until they leave the building, Dean does not speak a word. He just goes in there on instinct, charges Abaddon, and pushes through he wall-shoving to get her, all on this brutal killer instinct that Rowena has reminded Dean he had.

Dean with no sense of self was very cute and goofy, but he retained his moral code (killing monsters bad, person who kills monsters hero) and he retained his killer instinct, so stripping him right down like that, I think this was the message of what has been programmed deepest into Dean, the things that would go last when everything else about him was disappearing. And considering I've been working through the last few episodes of season 9 lately, I'm chilled. :S Especially that the back up plan was to throw Dean at them as a weapon (I wonder if Rowena did it then, because Sam didn't have the thought Dean would do it, unless he labelled it all when they knew it was witches, but earlier in the episode when he was going on his labelling spree)

Dean takes Sam on total trust as well about who is the witch and who is his brother. We don't know if that was his instinct or being obedient to what he was told... I'm guessing this is going to be something with 2 readings.

I'm assuming the cheap answer is the love of his brother runs that deep and instinctively he would know.

Why was Sam NOT at the restoration... Aside from for setting up "who's this hippy"

I mean they even used the sad family music! What jerks :P

Probably best to piss Sam off immediately so to avoid soppy hugs.

"Can't believe you called Rowena" "Can't believe you rode Larry" "Hey, I was awesome on that bull."

THAT'S your take away from this, Sam? I mean I'm thrilled but that's just... hilarious.

Especially as they don't mention the waitress again so the reminder is all about Larry and not about Dean's other conquest of the night :P I’m laughing.

Does this episode end with Sam leaving the super powerful book of spells on top of the impala and Dean drives off and it falls in the street

I say this because I'm feeling emotional about Rowena implying Dean should talk to her if he remembers their conversation, and Sam is now talking about how he's jealous of Dean's no-memories buzz

Dean is like “our life sucks but if I was happy I wouldn’t have a shot at hooking up with an angel”

Okay no Sam took the book of witchcraft.

That doesn't bode well at all.

*she says vibrating with pent up frustration about how witch!Sam is being teased roughly twice a week with no pay off since like... ever*

Yay I knew we'd get to see Dean riding Larry at the end.

because this is Yellow Fever.

I like Yellow Fever.

This is sort of embarassing having all of the other Dean stuff in there... You should have just stuck with him and Larry

Let them have a moment.

This is their song.

#12x11 #season 12 spoilers #my stuff

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thiswasasuperterribleidea · 6 years

Text

The day he left... & the next 47 psychotic days after...

Things get funny here I swear. I’m not here to tell you all of the extraordinary highs or rock bottom lows of my relationship. It was both very perfect and very horrible. We never had that middle ground… But he was my go to. He was my weakness and as soon as I was with him, every problem melted away and I felt at home.

For some reason this is the analogy I chose for the day he left… Every time I say it I get a weird look. I should probably stop using it and find another analogy. And by probably I mean definitely… It’s a little much…I said it to the therapist I talked to and even her eyes screamed “WOW YOU’RE DRAMATIC AND KINDA CRAZY…” And I literally pay her to tell me that I’m NOT crazy…so that must mean it’s a bad one. But here it goes again…

Do you remember what people said the day of September 11th? Well I was in the 1st fucking grade so I actually don’t… BUT, from every documentary I’ve ever watched I know that everyone said it was a beautiful day. Like it was an unusually perfect day... Skies were blue with no clouds in sight, good vibes all around. That’s how this day was. He left my condo that morning, (the condo that I moved out into solely to ease some tension off of our relationship …YIKES) So, we were not physically together but were texting and laughing. Now I know people say “lol” and have a straight face.. but I know I had him laughing at our conversation. It was a Sunday and my spoiled Italian ass was attempting to make meatballs for the first time alone because my mom has cooked for me my whole life. I had no idea what the hell I was doing or where to begin but I knew I needed STALE Italian bread for the bread crumbs. If you’re Italian you understand why they have to be stale… I just learned and I’m very excited about it! They have to be stale bread crumbs so that the meatballs are crunchy not soggy! DUH… So I called him to rant because apparently in this new shit town I moved to, NO ONE CARES ABOUT ITALIAN BREAD! They only sell weird kinds. No Appicella’s Italian Bread for milessss. I called Darren trying to explain. He had no idea why I was running from grocery store to grocery store for bread. Couldn’t understand why I couldn’t buy a box of bread crumbs for my meatballs. It was funny. I said some other funny things when I was back home making my sauce…and I know he was laughing at me.

The reason this was such a big deal and why it relates to the pre 9/11 plane crash perfect day is because this was rare for us. We rarely ever had good texting conversation we always fought when we were apart. It was what I would consider a perfect day. We were talking normal, he was going to come over and watch a movie that night, probably have some really great sex. Then he said my name. That was all it took. A text came in that read “Francesca” and I felt the mood switch so quick. From the playful conversation that I was so happy with …to seeing my own name on my phone … it was honestly worse than seeing the most feared “We need to talk…” He follows up with a serious “are we ever going to get better?” … Are we ever going to get better?!?!?! I’m over here thinking we’re having a pre 9/11 perfect day.. thinking this is how we’re supposed to be and he’s asking me if we’re going to get better? This is better to me.. this is what I want EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!

So what do I do? Pretend to be a hardass obviously… My instant reply “If you want to break up with me… just do it now.” Next thing I know, the phone rings… and BOOM he ends it. Juuuuust like that. Lmao. It’s actually kind of funny… Like who the fuck did I think I was? Did I think my vagina was THAT awesome or something? Did I actually think that he wouldn’t end it with that being my response? And that’s when my walls came crashing down and the analogy almost sort of comes together. (Maybe not…?) Well being a hardass clearly didn’t work… so I decided to move on to the next best option… DESPARATE AND PSYCHOTIC!!!

First he asked for space... In case I haven’t made it obvious enough yet. I don’t know what the word space means. Also, thank you to my saint of a Nonny, (No sarcasm intended) ...I didn’t know what the word no meant either. This guy would straight out tell me he lost all feelings for me... and you know what I did??? I told him he was lying. Lmao. Legit said no, you do, you’re lying to make me go away. DOUBLE YIKES. He asked for space, and I didn’t want space. So do you think I gave him space? NoOoOoOo chance. I decided it would be better to blow up his phone with 50 texts and phone calls. You probably think I’m over exaggerating right? 50? No one has time or energy to call 50 times right? Wrong. I’m actually probably UNDER exaggerating. 50 is a low ball. Now this is a pretty much every day thing for a full month straight. But my psycho games were only just beginning...

The next two things I did are two things I will regret for the rest of my life whether Darren ever decides to forgive me for them or not. And... disclaimer ...I am sharing this part mostly because I want to pretend I am giving you all advice... but in reality I don’t think there is a single human being that needs to be advised to NOT do this because I feel like I am somehow the only bat shit crazy girl alive to ever think of this... So if you read this and let me put this crazy thought in your head and you don’t think it sounds like THAAAAT bad of an idea... please slide into my DM’s and let me save you. First off. I went home one weekend. Just for the sole purpose of doing this by the way ... took my mother’s cell phone and sent Darren a sweet little text. And by sweet little text I mean...some restraining order worthy text where I impersonated my mother- someone who wanted nothing to do with Darren, and tried to convince him we had her blessing and to give me another shot and come over for Thanksgiving and Christmas because hey guess what everything can be perfect now!!!! ....yeah. That was my all time lowest point. Now I can say a lot of negative things about myself. Insecure, borderline crazy... the one thing I can’t say is that I’m a compulsive liar. Everything I said in those texts while impersonating my mother did come from her mouth. I am trying to make this blog light and funny...as a way to cope but this breakup was the absolute darkest time in my life aside from my Poppy passing away. I never felt anything like this. I showed up to work late every day for a month. When I was there I was barely working. I was negative and miserable all of the time. My parents didn’t know what to do with me. But they were there for me in every way they could be. See my parents were highschool sweethearts. My mom never had a broken heart. She had my dad. And she still has my dad. She never didn’t have him or someone. She never had a broken heart. And that made it very hard for her to comfort me as my mother because she couldn’t relate. Whenever we would talk, she would say “Francesca, We’ll get through this... everyone goes through a broken heart.” The thing was... NO MA YOU DIDNT!! AND I’M SUPER SALTY BECAUSE OF IT RIGHT NOW...One time she told me she did go through a broken heart because she had and I quote... “crushes” on people before my father... When I tell you I had to get up out of my chair on the back porch and walk myself inside to excuse myself from that stupidity... I just can’t even lol. She was trying, but she was clueless. But she did sit down with me a lot and not all our conversations were that useless. She did promise me that if God ever brought Darren back into my life that she would give me her support because seeing me go through this made her realize all she cares about is my happiness. So I wasn’t a total liar. Only sorta... But the problem was really what I was doing to Darren during this. I was literally hiding behind a cell phone screen trying to change his feelings off of something fake. Literally toying with his emotions. I can’t even imagine what would have happened if he fed into it. Our relationship would have been based on a lie... it makes me sick. I don’t know what I would have done if he hadn’t found out it was actually me texting... which brings me to the second thing I will always regret which was impersonating my roommate still trying to fuck with Darren’s feelings. Cause I mean 1 person just wasn’t enough.. go big or go home right?

The good news here is... my roommate isn’t that great of a friend in general. But right here in this instance. She was a great one. The real MVP. She threw me under the bus fuckin haaard. She told Darren it wasn’t her, it wasn’t my mom it was no one but me. I am so greatful for that. Well, I am now anyway. Actually as soon as she told me she let Darren know it was me impersonating everyone I literally cried so hard I had to leave work lmao. I was so mad. I honestly felt like she was being the shit friend that she had been before. Like she had some loyalty to Darren or something and not me. It was such a feeling of betrayal. I thought about it for the rest of the day and realized how great it was that she did that for me. Now don’t get me wrong. Darren isn’t stupid or weak and truthfully I always knew that whether he thought he was speaking to my mom or my roommate Danielle... he wasn’t changing his mind on me. But if there was ever a second of weakness for him. Where he changed his mind because of those conversations. Our new relationship would have been doomed before it even started. So I have to give her credit where credit is due and thank her for not giving me the chance to potentially build a relationship off of a lie and being a true friend. I bought her a caramel apple from edible arrangements to thank her... But then I ate it all. I had to go get her another one the next day.

It got to the point where Darren blocked me. I sent him countless love letters expressing my feelings, tried talking casually, and also tried impersonating anyone I could lol. I tried making my manager Dwight reach out to him and pull for me because they are friends too. I did some crazy shit there too. At the end of work I would follow Dwight to his car and ask him if he could try and get Darren to give me another chance. One night I even hopped in the passenger seat and begged him until I forced myself an emotional breakdown. I sat there in his car crying and when I tell you this guy looked like he saw a ghost... oh my god the look on his face now was priceless. The way he fake tried to comfort me, patting my shoulder it’s making me laugh just thinking about it now. I was so messy. The next night when we walked out together he made sure I locked the branch door and he deadass sprinted to his car to get away from me lmao. While I know he was for sure telling Darren about my crazy self.. he was a pretty solid friend to me during this. A lot better than some of my “real” friends. We had a lot of laughs and he talked me through a lot. Long story long the bad news is we’ve probably gotten a little to close over the past two months but I guess that’s just what happens when someone is helping someone through something.

The real good news is Darren blocking me was my come up and exactly what I needed.

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