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#i need research for my phd and i can't leave my house
delphi-dreamin · 2 years
Note
Delphi 💝
I have a few asks for you 💕
8,9, 10,11,12
-🐈‍⬛
Hello Ari dear! 💖💖
8) are you a jealous person
Not really? I can be a bit, but not like..."hulk out and try to kill a bitch over a trivia game" jealous. 🤣
9) whats the worst pickup line someone has asked you
Gosh, I don't even know that I've ever had a pickup line used on me? I've been with Kait for like...my entire adult life. And it's not like we go out to clubs or bars or anything. 😅 Though she does like to try the "Hey, do you come here often?" bit. If my eyes could get stuck in a roll, I'd be blind.
10) do you believe in ghosts
Short answer: Yes! Long answer here!
11) what are your ambitions
My ambitions? Hmm...Well, it's a dream of mine to get my PhD in microbiology and work for either the CDC or the WHO. Or, alternatively, work full time at the prion lab at UCSF. Hell, I'd even go to the UK to study them. I just wanna get my hands in the research.
12) 3 deal breakers in a relationship
Hmm...aside from the obvious abuse red flags, 1) They can't hate animals. I'm an animal whisperer and I love my cats and dog. I'm not giving up my animals for anything. 2) Being too clingy. I'm an introvert and I need space. Once the honeymoon phase is over, I need space from my SO sometimes, too. It's a thing. 3) Not taking their share of the housework. I'm not your maid and I'm not your momma. You're gonna help out around the house or you're gonna leave.
Thank you for the ask!
Intrusive asks
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I’m On Fire [Chapter 2]
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With her sister’s wedding fast approaching and her Mom hounding her about finding a date, Y/N makes a terrible decision that lands her and her least favorite genius in a confusing situation.
Chapter Summary: Y/N and Spencer start to put a plan together.
A/N:  I’ve got a head cold at the mo’ but I had to get a covid test just in case so I’m not allowed leave my room till I get the results! So enjoy a bonus chapter while I wallow on my own for like 36 hours :( On a positive note, thank you guys all so much for the response to chapter 1 I really didn’t see that coming! I’ve tagged everyone who asked, let me know if you wanna be added
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem Reader
Category: Fake Dating, Enemies to Lovers, (Eventual) Smut, Fluff, Angst, it’s a Slow Burn Baby
Warnings: Cursing, some NSFW language/themes
Word Count: 6.1k
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Series Masterlist
Masterlist 
"Are you coming up or what?"
The question was still ringing in my ears. It caught me completely off guard. 'Up' as in up to Spencer's apartment? Where he lived? I knew he lived somewhere in theory, just like I knew deep down that he wasn't made in a test tube. 
Without noticing I've undone my seatbelt and I'm hopping out of the car, following him around to the front door. I guess I am coming up.
Spencer's apartment is more cosy than I thought it was going to be. It's warm and lived in. It's not big, but I think that might be what makes it homely. Something about the way he behaves had me thinking it would be fully decked out in stainless steel or glass or something. But it wasn't pristine, it was messy. 
There were books bursting from the shelves that lined the walls of the apartment, along with books laid open over nearly every surface in the place, it looked like he was in the middle of reading all of them, and honestly, I didn't doubt it. Maybe I'd misjudged him. He even had some photos of what looked like his family, and maybe friends, even some of the BAU, lining his walls or propped up on his mantle. He had little trinkets and souvenirs on his shelves too, evidence that he'd been around the country for reasons other than a case. I would never admit it to him but there was a real charm to the place.
Once we got inside he took off his bag and suit jacket, tossing them on the desk just inside of the door. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do, and he seemed to pick up on my awkward energy.
"You can make yourself at home" he said, his confident streak remaining. I had no idea what to do with that. What would even make me comfortable in Spencer Reid's apartment? I took a seat on his sofa and just sat with my hands resting in my lap. Really not even sure where I should look without feeling like I was invading his privacy. Even though I wanted to. I think it was morbid curiosity, looking for clues on who this man might actually be outside of the BAU. What I really wanted to do was stand up and walk around, soaking in every bit if this place as if it would help me decipher our messy relationship.
He returned to the living room a few moments later, two mismatched mugs in his hands. He places one in front of me on the coffee table. I pick it up and take a sip. It's lemon and ginger, how did he know what kind of tea I liked? I held the mug in my hands inhaling the steam in an effort to relax. When I look up he's watching me, arms folded across his chest.
"So, how does this thing work. What's the game plan?" I honestly have no real idea. This evening really got away from me, I was still expecting to snap out of it and wake up in my bed at any moment.
"Well I can't say I've ever been in a Sandra Bullock movie before either so this is uncharted territory for me too" I say with a chuckle, trying to ease the tension. Even a little. I can see him crack a small smile but hides it almost instantly, his face hardening again.
"My sister, Margot, she's getting married in like 4 months." I can feel myself tense and I shake out my shoulders, I have to remind myself that he's agreed to this already, "Fuck it, I'm just going to be honest with you. My Mom's mostly freaked out that I'm too attached to this job and that I'll just never find someone again." I shouldn't have said again, fuck. I hope he didn't pick up on that. Who am I kidding. "Even though, I'm not sure I care if I do or don't?" he doesn't say anything, like he's waiting for me to continue. I know I've shared a little too much already but I keep going.
"Margot's 2 years younger than me, I introduced her to her fiancé Philip, we met in college, he's a sweetheart. But since they've gotten engaged Mom's gotten exponentially weirder. I think she's convinced I'm fully going to die alone, as if that would be the worst thing that could ever happen? Anyway, she's been trying to auction me off to all these guys, using this wedding as an excuse. I'm not sure how much of that phone call you actually heard earlier but Mom was trying to sell me on this guy, David, and I just… snapped." I look up at Spencer and he unfolds his arms, leaning in ever so slightly coaxing the story out of me.
"David, he uh, he worked for my father for a while back in high school, filing documents and stuff, busy work mostly. He used to make out with me when he was at our house after school, but then he'd ignore me in the halls the next morning. I know it's because I was a pariah back then or something but I didn't want to think about it today and I just got worked up. I shouldn't have let on that you were my date, I was just going to ask if I could bring Garcia or something, and I'm sorry." I cover my face in my hands, "I'm insane, you can back out if you want to."
I can hear him move from his spot on the opposite side of the sofa, he takes my wrists and gently pulls my hands from my face. He looks into my eyes, "I'm in this now Y/N, what do you need me to do?" he asks, and there's a genuine earnest in his voice that I think I've only ever heard a handful of times. And it's never been directed at me.
"Okay, well we've got a few months before you ha–, wait, fuck!" I throw my head back, there's already a complication, "shit" I curse under my breath. His eyebrows knit together, sitting upright.
"What's the matter?" he asks.
"I forgot about my Mom's 50th, it's next month. They've got this whole huge party planned back home in upstate New York. I've gotta go and they'll probably want to meet you, or they're gonna have a load of questions for me at least. I can try and get you out of it I'm sure"
He gets that cocky look again, he shakes his head "I don't know, I've always liked a bit of competition" he reclines back into his corner of the sofa, taking a satisfied sip from his own mug before speaking again. "You know, if I've got to learn enough to pass as your boyfriend in a month, surely that means you've got to learn enough to pass as my girlfriend within the month, no?"
Oh god. What have I done, why didn't I think this far ahead. "I mean, yeah I guess you're right." I had to remember he was doing me a favor. I had to get over myself. "Okay, if you're sure you're up for that?" I ask, and he nods, and I think he looks excited, or maybe he just finds the whole situation funny.
"If anyone's up for the competition it's you" he says, and I'm not sure if that's a compliment or a dig but I nod in agreement.
He takes another sip of his tea, collected and relaxed. I can't help but notice how at ease he is when he's in his own surroundings. I'm so used to seeing him sitting at a desk surrounded by paperwork, or combing through file after file in the make-shift office in a small-town police station, usually flustered or anxious, or antagonizing me whenever he wasn’t. This was a different Spencer. Completely in control, at ease.
"Alright, shall we get started then, we can't really afford to waste any time can we?" he was actually sort of right, so I nodded. It was only now occurring to me that I'd have to share parts of my personal life with him if I wanted this plan to work. We already knew the basics about each other, I'd read his file when I started at the BAU, I'd read everyones. And I feel like it was safe to presume he'd done the same.
His eyes bore directly into mine as he leaned forward, I think he was enjoying how uncomfortable I must've looked.
"How about I ask you some rapid-fire questions and you have to answer 'em?" he asks, and it's as good of a plan as any, and I can't think of any other suggestions, so I nod.
"Okay, shoot." I say, unsure and nervous, so I brace myself. I'm just grateful that he's making my life easier rather than harder for what feels like the first time since I met him.
I really should've known better.
He leans in, "So Y/N, first question, when did you lose your virginity?"
I almost choke on the mouthful of tea I just took, that can't be what he just asked, and he looks like he's savoring my shocked expression.
"I uh, I don't think you need to know that?" is all I can get out.
"Really? You think that's something your boyfriend wouldn't know about you?" he's right, but I didn't want to admit it outright.
"I feel like I sort of already hinted. It was that same guy David, I was 18, he was 19. We had sex on the couch while my parents went out one evening. I kept my bra on the whole time, he came, I didn't. It was all very standard stuff." I wasn't sure what compelled me to add that last part. I think I was giving in to the open honestly thing. "So what about you Doc?" I challenged.
He didn't seem embarrassed, or even shy. "I must've bloomed little later than you" he admits with a soft chuckle, "Vivian Stewart, I was 21, she was too. It was the last semester of my last PhD and I figured I must be missing out on something. And I sure was" he smirks to himself. "I came, she did too, 3 times. I did a lot of research ahead of time" he mirrored my story and I rolled my eyes. It was hard not to feel a little impressed but I tried with everything I had to stifle it so he couldn't tell. I wish it didn't make me feel something but it did. I gulp down the mouthful of tea that's been sitting in my throat.
I have to shake myself back to reality. I can't give him the satisfaction of throwing me. "My turn." I command, "When was your last relationship Dr. Reid?" I ask, "I mean like, serious one, not like hook-up" I clarify before he can ask. He thinks on it for a moment.
"I'm not sure what you classify as fully serious, but I guess it was this girl, Rebecca, we dated for a while when I first joined the BAU but it didn't work out. What about you?" he flips it back.
"So that was what, like 6-ish years ago?" I ask, he just nods.
"Mine was like 3 years ago now I think. I met this guy Nathan on my first week of college, we dated for like 4 years. He moved here for me when I got accepted by the BAU." I had to stop myself from delving into the detail. It was a long time ago now but it still hurt. "Long story short, the hours were demanding and they got in the way more than I would've liked. We ended up splitting a couple months after I got the job." I tried to play it off like it wasn't one of the more devastating things to happen in my life. But something told me he’d registered that, so he didn't push.
His energy picks up and he looks at me with a grin, but there's something a little sinister behind it. "I've got a more fun question for you." he leans in closer to me, "Y/N, when was the last time you got laid?" I just looked at him in shock. 
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me, I can go first if you really need me to?" his voice didn't waver,
"Fuck you Reid, I know when it was!" I snapped back at him. I did have to think back a little farther than I'd like to pull up the memory.
"Met this guy in a bar when I was out with Pen one night, we went back to his place and hooked up." I say as deadpan as I can make it.
"Well that's not very exciting is it?" he jokes, "Did you at least cum that time?" I know he's just trying to rile me up, but I answer anyway.
"As a matter of fact I did" I earn back a little of my confidence.
"I'm so happy for you, but you did manage to avoid my initial question" fuck "when was this exciting night of yours Y/N?" he probes, like I really, really wished he wouldn't. I could lie, but I'm sure he'd be able to tell. I cringe before I can say it.
"About 8 months ago" I mutter, just low enough for him to hear.
"Sorry, did you just say 8 months ago?" He nearly shouts in disbelief, he seems to find it funny.
"Hey fuck you Spencer!" I go on the defensive, "When was the last time you even got laid?"
"Like two and half weeks ago" he says, confident, and still laughing, "Wait wait, when was the last time you got yourself off? I know you're not waiting 8 months!" he giggles and I think I could kill him. I know I kept giving him outs but was it too late for me to just get up and leave?
"I'm not doing this with you if you're just gonna make fun of me Reid, I get enough of that at work" I get out, my voice is serious but I'm trying to hide how awkward all of this is making me feel, and I don't know that I'm doing a very good job.
I can tell that's gotten to him, he relaxes and eases up on the giggling. "Look okay wait Y/N. I'll stop, I'm not actually trying to make fun of you. I was being serious, I think stuff like this is important if we're gonna have to be comfortable around each other enough to seem like a real couple. Plus, it'll just help break the ice?" he shrugs. "But you don't have to answer if you don't want to."
I soften, because I agree, even thought I hate that he's right. "Fine" I collect my thoughts, "2 nights ago I'm pretty sure." I regret it almost instantly, but breaking the ice is supposed to feel awkward.
"Same here actually," he chuckles, "what'd you do?" I'm so startled by the question I almost forget how to answer.
"I, uh, my, my vibrator? I just felt like uh, I watched some..." I still can't force out a whole sentence. It's not like I was always awkward about sex or anything, I could talk to Garcia, or honestly probably any of the other team members about it. But with Spencer it didn't feel as comfortable. He still sat calmly, smiling just a little.
"Same here, 2 nights back, but with my hands I guess. I wonder if we were doing it at the same time?" he mutters the last part gently and my head goes a bit fuzzy. My eyes drift away from his face and settle on his hands, the mug he's holding looks so tiny with his fingers wrapped around it, I wondered how they'd look wrapped around my-
"Okay I think that's enough for one night, don't you think?" I jump up off the sofa and turn, mostly so that he doesn't catch the blush thats creeping from my neck up to my cheeks. And because I don't know what I'll say, or regret saying, if this conversations continues on its current trajectory.
"Sure," he says, standing up next to me, and I want to move further away instantly, "you're probably right, and it's getting a little late now anyway" he glances at his watch. Ushering me back towards his front door and opening it up. Before I can walk out he lightly touches my shoulder to turn me back to face him, and I wonder if he can feel the heat radiating from every part of me.
"So are you free next Friday after work?" he asks, and I'm so flustered I almost forget why, I just nod. "Perfect, how about we come here again and we can dive into preparing? You could also make a start on getting these onto a hard drive?" he gestures to the antique looking hardbacks adorning the shelves.
'Sounds great!" I perk up, feigning enthusiasm, "See you then!"
"Well, see you Monday morning actually Y/N" he smirks as I walk out the door. Fuck, he was right.
I really hadn't thought this through.
——
The weekend was a bit of a blur. I decided to try and put some useful information into a document for Spencer. It felt strange to try and condense my life into as few pages as possible. I knew Reid had an eidetic memory, and nothing would necessarily overwhelm him. But I also knew that he was someone that the team relied on to fill in a lot of the gaps in the rest of the our knowledge. So I felt bad about dumping a load of information on him, especially considering it was a favor he was doing for me.
I'd complied the majority of my life into a 15 page document and printed it out. Hopefully that would address most of what my family could guerrilla attack him with. There was also something unsettling about the imbalance. I was going to give him so many of the intricate details of my life in a little file, whereas all I really knew about Spencer was what I'd taken it upon myself to learn about him throughout the past few years.
I'd read all of his work while I was in college, given how he was the gold standard of getting into the BAU at a young age, I wanted to know who this guy was. I think I'd pictured something different. And I couldn't deny there was something enticing about finally getting to know him after all of these years of working together. Maybe this could actually be fun, or interesting at least.
----
I arrived early on Monday morning. I thought I was first into the office as usual but Garcia was sitting in my desk chair waiting for me. The second she saw me walk in she tensed, she must've known we were the only people in this early.
"What happened! You've been avoiding me all weekend?" she asked, and she was right. I'd drafted enough texts to her, trying to explain what the plan was, mostly without wanting to admit that she was right. Maybe I was stubborn.
"Alright okay, I drove Reid home." I admitted, dropping my bag by my desk. She rolls her eyes at me, dramatic as always.
"Well I knew that already Y/N damn! What happened next?"
"Fine, we went into his apartment and talked for a while. Trying to sort out the details, get a handle on things I guess?" I said, unsure of how much I should actually give away about our conversation.
"What things!?" She shouts, standing up from my desk,
"I don't know Pen, like logistics and stuff, I still haven't decided how I feel about that little stunt you pulled on Friday night!" I let my frustration get the better of me, and maybe that's why I haven't talked to her. It could also be because I know she's able to read me like a book and I'm not even sure how I feel about this whole situation.
"I call bullshit." She counters, "I know you were relived as hell when I sorted that whole thing out. You would've had anxiety tummy all weekend if I hadn't called Spencer!" I just go silent, she was right. I'd gotten so caught up in the whole, 'how to have a fake boyfriend' that I'd almost forgotten about how stressed I was about Spencer hearing my call in the first place.
"Okay, shit" I sigh. "Maybe you were right Pen. We're actually meeting up again this Friday after work to make a plan for the next while, so I guess that's progress?" I shrug, trying to play it off like this whole situation doesn't make my stomach flip.
"Ohhhhh! So like a date?" She probes, her enthusiasm rising drastically.
"Oh my God Pen no! Like an appointment at best" I diffuse the situation
"Ugh that's no fun" she says, not even trying to disguise her disappointment.
As if on cue Dr. Reid walks through the double doors into the bullpen. Both Garcia and I wave, overall awkwardly, but making an attempt pretend like things were completely normal and like nothing had changed since the last time we were all in the office together.
Penelope heads to her office as the bullpen starts to fill up quickly. Less than an hour later though Garcia's back at my desk and there's a new case that needs the teams attention in Boston. I follow her into the conference room and wait for the rest of the team to join. Spencer follows a moment later with 2 cups of coffee in his hands. I can see my mug in his hand and my automatic response is that he's messing with me. But he places my mug in front of me in the circular table before taking the seat next to me, listening to Garcia's briefing. I don't know if he's ever sat next to me in this conference room, at least not by choice.
I barely had any time to finish my coffee before I have to say goodbye to Garcia and hop on the jet to Boston.
----
The case was grueling. More so than usual. It was wrapped up late on Thursday night and the team decided to fly back home first thing on Friday morning. I was exhausted. Even if there was enough time to get sleep each night it wasn't like I got any. Whenever a case got on top of me like this it made it hard to rest, or get it off my mind at all until it was wrapped up. So even though it was over, that didn't mean I wasn't exhausted.
Hotch gave the team the rest of the day off, given that we have until submit our paperwork by Monday. I wasn't sure if Spencer's invitation from the following week still stood. I didn't want to ask, partly because I was so tired, but also because I was scared. I wasn't about to show up at his house in an effort to have a heart to heart, or hand him a condensed version of my life story on a manilla envelope if he was as drained as I was.
Standing by my desk I packed up everything I'd need to get my paperwork done over the weekend, I was just about finished when Spencer snuck up behind me, perching himself on the edge of my desk. "So, you almost ready to go?" he asks, like it's the most obvious question in the world. I couldn't really hide my surprise.
"Oh yeah. That's fine, I mean, if you're still cool with that?" I ask, and I hate how flustered I sound, like he makes me nervous.
"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" He chuckles, standing up straight.
"Cool, gimme a sec and I'll be good to go."
I pack up the rest of my stuff quickly and we make our way out. There's something that feels a little eerie about the two of us being in an elevator together alone again. It was a different kind of awkward to how it felt a week before hand. It almost felt like a kind of tension rather than a hatred or a rivalry. Either way we rode down in silence.
Once we got to the basement Spencer walks out of the elevator and walks straight to my car without having to ask. I unlock it and he hops into the passenger seat. Like this is a natural interaction. Something we do all the time. And I don't hate it as much as I thought I would.
"So," he says, buckling up his seat belt and breaking the silence, "do you know how to get to my place from here or do you need directions again?"
"Well I've got to turn on the engine first" I tease, hoping he picks up on the reference to our last car ride, he chuckles like he does.
"Are you hungry?" he asks
"Starving."
The delivery guy get's to Spencer's apartment at almost the same time we do.
---
Once the food's been demolished the two of us finally sit on his sofa, the same sides as the week before. "So, shall we get back into this?" He asks, sitting forward slightly to pull a notebook out of his satchel on the floor. It's small and lavender, and it's got a pen clipped into the spine. He cracks it open and flips to a specific page.
"Sorry, what's that?" I ask, pointing to the book, he looks confused,
"They're my notes?" he says, like it should be obvious
"Your notes?" I ask,
"My notes on you." he smirks, again like I'm silly for even asking.
He had notes on me? He had a whole notebook on me? What was even in that thing?
"You've got notes on me?" I ask, my hands reaching out to grab it, but he retreats faster than I can catch him. "What have you got in there that's so serious?"
"Nothing." and his tone's a bit too stern and I don't really want to push it when he's being so uncharacteristically nice to me.
"I've actually got this ready for you" I pull the file out of my own bag and toss it to him. "I'm not sure exactly what you need to know but that should be the majority of it at least."
He opens it up and glances over the the pages. It takes him all of 2 minutes to get through the whole thing. It feels unsettling that he's taking in a boiled down version of my life while I'm just sitting on the opposite side of the sofa. Trying to avoid the attention I pipe up.
"Um, hey, maybe it would be a good time for you to show me where to make a start digitizing your books over here?" I stand up and make my way to the shelf. He jumps up off the sofa and walks toward me, visibly excited.
"That's actually a great idea, I thought that the theses from my degrees could be a good place to start, since I'm pretty sure they're not backed up anywhere." he guides me to a section of the book case by the window. There's a series of leather bound hardbacks, the same gold font embossed on the spines. I recognize all of them, pulling out the first one.
"This is my favorite" I say without thinking about it and he does a double take, clearly thrown.
"You've, uh, you read my work?" he asks, completely puzzled. I'm sort of proud that I've managed to make him this awkward, and I nod.
"Mmhm, back before I joined the BAU actually. Before I really knew you" I regret saying the last part, it comes out a little meaner than I really wanted it to so I back track. "Spencer, I read all of your work while I was in college, you were like the gold standard. I don't think I slept more than 2 hours a night throughout my PHD because I was just trying to get as much done as you." and his face softens at the admission. But it takes him a moment before he responds. Leaving the two of us in silence a little too long.
"I had no idea" is all he says.
"I think this one was best" I say propping up the one in my hand, "you get a bit cockier as you move on” His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, "but I'll start with all of these I guess" I grab the matching books and stack them in my arms. Walking over to his desk and setting up. Glancing at the clock it was only 7pm so I decided to just make a start.
Spencer didn't contest. Letting me just get settled at his desk, I pull out my laptop and begin work on transcribing the first volume. After a few minutes he silently places a cup of tea down beside me and goes to sit on the sofa. The time rolls in quickly after that, each time I look up at Spencer he's carefully combing through the file I'd given him. Re-reading it and making little markings in his lavender notebook. I'm not really sure what I put in there that was worth making a note on but clearly he was reading between the lines on some things. That little notebook was like a profile of me.
When he seemed like he'd finished writing he pulls out his phone, scrolling through it aimlessly like I'd never seen him do before. It made him look so normal. His eyebrows knit together as he's looking at something on his screen and he stands up. Making his way over to me at the desk and shows me what he was looking at.
"Who's this?" he asks, "This guy you're with?"
I recognize the photo instantly. It's from a few years earlier, Nathan and I on the beach, my head resting on his chest. He'd taken it while we were on vacation celebrating our anniversary. That was about a month before I got into the BAU, I had no idea that was going to be our last anniversary. I gulp down the emotions that it stirs. I'm mostly over the whole thing by now, but looking at old photos like that, photos of happier times, it can still sting.
"That's uh, the boyfriend I was telling you about last week. Nathan, we broke up not long after I joined the BAU?" he nods, but he's smart, and I kind of figure he already knew that.
"Ah alright" he takes out the hardback and jots another note down. Maybe he's trying to get a read on me.
"What are you doing?" I gesture to the phone,
"It's research, do you not think that if you and I were really dating that stalking your social media profiles would be on my agenda?" he's smug, and he's right. But I guess I just didn't expect it from him.
"Well that's not really fair now is it? I can't reciprocate, you've got no social media presence whatsoever!" he finds that funny, letting out a deep chuckle and tucking his phone away in his back pocket.
"Maybe so, but that imbalance is hardly my fault. Besides, you've read all my dissertations apparently..."
"Bastard" I joke, slamming my laptop shut and throwing a pen from his desk at him so that it lightly bounces off the top of his head.
"Hey, there's no need for violence Y/N!" he rubs the spot beneath his curls, "Maybe it's time you took a break actually?" he says, sitting himself back down on the sofa.
I was reluctant to admit it but he was right. My eyes were starting to go a little fuzzy after looking at the screen for so long. I stand up and stretch my arms out above my head, feeling my spine stretch out after sitting for so long, letting out a low groan. Spencer waves me over to the sofa and I join him.
"How about we go back to basics?" Spencer asks with a small grin, and I can't help but let out a long sigh.
"I thought I was taking a break, no more questions" he just laughs at me,
"Relax, you're not that interesting, it's just a simple question." he states, and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to find it funny or offensive
"Ugh, fine, shoot"
"Well, actually it's two questions" he corrects, "what's your favorite movie, and what's your favorite snack?"
I'm confused mostly by the fact that it actually is a simple question, I was expecting something a lot more contentious, but also because he looks eager to know the answer.
"I'm not really sure what my favorite movie is to be honest, one of them is Night of the Living Dead?"
He nods to himself, and jots it down in the notebook again, "Alright, I can make that work" he stands up off the sofa before turning back to me, "and snack?"
"Peanut butter cups I guess?" I respond and he grins ear to ear, which is a completely new sight, and I like it way more than I thought I would.
"Perfect, gimme 2 minutes!" he leaves the living room and wanders towards the kitchen.
Spencer returns a few minutes later with a DVD, a packet of peanut butter cups , and a thick knitted blanket gathered in his arms. He drapes the blanket over me and gently places the peanut butter cups on top of it before popping the DVD into the player and sitting down beside me. I'm not really sure how to process any of the situation. Am I about to watch a movie on Spencer Reid's sofa? Sitting next to Spencer Reid?
"I... I, uh, thought you were just asking for your notes?" I ask, pointing at the notebook resting in his lap. He picks it up and throws it onto the coffee table.
"Sometimes I find experience is the best teacher, don't you?" he asks before pressing play, “And besides, it should keep you quiet for a whole 96 minutes” of course.
I can only nod in agreement, I'm not really sure what I'll say if I try to speak. I get myself cosy under the warm blanket and we watch the movie in near silence.
Once the credits roll Spencer finally speaks up, "I actually went to see a screening of this last month downtown, there was this little old horror movie fest-" I cut him off without really realizing, I'm just strangely excited that we've genuinely got something in common.
"Holy shit, I was there!" I say, more enthusiastic than the situation calls for.
He laughs at my excitement, "Well, I guess we have more overlap than I thought, that should probably help with the whole charade." he stretches his arms up over his head and let's out a small, gentle yawn. I'd been enjoying myself more than I thought I would, or would ever tell Spencer, that I'd almost forgotten that we'd both been on a case for almost every waking moment of the past week. I really should feel a lot more drained than I do.
I was just after midnight when I suggested that I head back home. I offered to take some of the books home to work on throughout the weekend but Spencer insisted that I just work on them whenever I came over again. I sort of felt like I should thank him for the evening when I was on my way out the door, or give him a quick hug, no that felt wrong. In the end all I could really muster was a lousy, "goodnight" and a meek wave on my way out the door before I drove home. And couldn't get to sleep.
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luxurybrownbarbie · 3 years
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I was at my neighbors house with my mom for some Easter celebration and everything was going Gucci until they started talking about the vaccine. My mom will be getting the vaccine and everyone there was saying how whoever gets the vaccine will die and puts devil in them ( oh God) and that everyone getting it will die in 3 years and I'm like do you understand how disrespectful you sound to so many doctors that literally have dedicated their whole lifes and education in issues like this to help humanity and still don't even get paid much as researchers so they have no benefit in lying ( note that I didn't call all of them batshit dumb and crazy directly however they didn't miss a chance to call whoever disagree with their hands down idiotic opinions stupid) and they were like yea but who gives money to the unis huh yea the government does and I'm like bitch is my mom giving 80 k to a uni the government? Or the rich ppl that give 1 million to elite schools so that their kids get in. City university nyc don't even require much payment and the PhD students don't get much salary at all, have literally zero time for themselves due to the research they have dedicate their whole existence to so that a dipshit boomer like you comes to tell them that because they heard some crazy Drs saying don't do it bc conspiracy that's the truth. They literally said with passion 3 of them that trump advised people not to do it bc of his son doing it and being mentally challenged, but I literally can't find trumphead saying that anywhere??? And they like if someone in the system says don't do it u don't and I'm like that someone is corrupted as hell so taking anything that he says as a fact is incorrect (still I didn't search if he said anything of what they were talking bout, but having searched now he hasn't) and then another dude says be careful what you're saying because you might expose yourself (says the people that literally think vaccine is the devil and has chips and trump is the messiah or something🤮🤮) and I'm like expose myself to who?? I know exactly how smart I am and what I'm talking about, I don't need anyone's acceptance on that. The convo with that old man was very interesting and I literally had to tell my mom to wait and not leave soon because we were talking about some deep and interesting issues, until he started talking about antivaccine and trump. Bottom line is all these people are like a cult and think they are better than anyone with their half to zero knowledge, think they're all about good energy while most of them don't even talk to their kids, hate on immigrants and gays and surely women and don't miss a chance to call anyone that disagrees with them stupid. I hate people 🙄
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vide0n4sty · 4 years
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gay goth seeking other gay goths to talk about gay shit, goth shit, horror movies and vampires, please enquire in the ask box
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e2019 · 3 years
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have you ever read house of leaves? your blog reminds me of the writing somehow
never heard of it so idk whether this is meant as a complement or insult. gonna have to check it out and return back to this post later. need to do some research before i know whether i should say “cool thanks” (assuming the book is well-written) or “go fuck urself… but also i don’t disagree with you” (assuming the book is poorly-written).
i can't think of any books rn that aren't some type of theory or philosophy, or not by george orwell or dr. seuss. but i like the ancient greek epic poetry type stories. toni morrison song of solomon, if i wanted kids that's how i would name them. but i've never wanted kids, so maybe my next next pet? bc i already made a deal to name the next 2 pets dante and virgil because my brother liked inferno so much that he won't stop telling me things about it and trying to get me to read it.
interestingly, one of the first instances of psychosis that i ever experienced (and was very quickly able to figure out that "something's not right, that isn't real...") is i thought that i discovered some pseudo-christian cult and read the corresponding reimagined version of the bible all in one night, and from what my brother has told me about inferno, it seems like it was basically the same but opposite; instead of dante traveling from hell to heaven, this psychosis cult was all about taking people from heaven and casting them down to hell if it turned out they were a whore (since that was the only irredeemable sin, more or less). but in real life what i actually did was stand by my desk for an indeterminate amount of time and google shit like "johnny appleseed whore" on my phone because i was trying to find a pdf to share in the groupchat with me and the homies. then i gave up eventually and wrote a huge analysis of which of the cult's beliefs were good or bad and why. but it ended up being too long to send, so i just went to bed. woke up the next day and i was so fucking confused.
anyway, the only things i can remember off top that people have said my writing reminds them of is some weird reddit post of a guy going OFF for several big honking paragraphs about how, when people say nice things to him, it just makes him more depressed; or my friend who has like a philosophy phd and my brother who is just some type of philosophy nerd, turns out that at least like 90% of what i had believed to be my own “original thoughts” are actually just things that some ancient greek dude already philosophized and wrote a book about some hundreds or thousands of years ago; also, "homestuck," insists a friend of mine who has never even read it; sometimes "ben shapiro" if someone is really trying to insult me; and the rest of everyone else pretty much just says “huh what the fuck are you trying to say”
personally i think my writing is very bad. all my sentences are too long-winded and contain infinitely many clauses. i respond in at least 5 paragraphs to something that probably only really needed a couple sentences. i whip out both my thesaurus (regular size) and dictionary (pocket size) just to spice things up a lil here n there and make it even more obnoxious to read. sometimes it's too confusing even for me to understand (which reminds me, there's this one "story" that i wrote a while ago and which no one who has read it so far has understood much, if anything, about it.. myself included. so i'm gonna have to do some digging around, but i'll post it if i find it, then this is gonna be just a "creative writing" blog).
anyway, it probably is hard to tell, but i actually do have a pretty solid command of the english language, if i do say so myself. like, not to flex on dyslexics or non-native english speakers, but i know some pretty advanced shit like "parts of speech," "prepositional phrase," "homophones," "oxford comma," "what the fuck is a semicolon and what does it do," also "all the other punctuations," and the list goes on... also learning spanish helped me to understand english even better as well. and what's more is that i can read too! my goal in life is to be able to read finnegans wake. i already understand what it's "about" (at least, in as much as anyone can confidently claim to understand it), but i want to be able to read it for myself. i have tried several times but never made it beyond the first few pages before getting way too lost. i imagine it to be a pretty accurate simulation of what it feels like to have a stroke.
well what i was trying to get at in that last paragraph before i got sidetracked is that yeah, i know my writing is horrible and it would be easy for me to clean it up if i wanted to. but i don't want to because that wouldn't be as much fun for me. however i do not mind trying to communicate like a normal person upon request if one so desires. otherwise i'm just gonna keep doing this shit.
what makes me feel good about myself though is that my english teachers always loved my essays, so i think that has to count for something at least! if i could have chosen any major that i wanted in college, it would most likely have been english or philosophy or something like that where you won't be able to get a job that earns any real money. maybe astronomy or physics.
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