#i really enjoyed typing it up though.. thank you again shannon! <3 <3

[poptartmochi]

33, 42, 53? 💖

ohh, thank you shannon!! 💙💗💙 i peeped the questions really quickly and these are ones I really was hoping someone would ask me, so 🥺🥺🥺 I am very grateful for your ask! 😭💗 I hope you're doing well (also!! ty for liveblogging the novels [i couldn't remember if it was just tgcf or if you did other ones too 🤦🏻‍♀️]- they're really interesting and I can't wait to read them once we move!)

under a readmore because this one... she got a Bit Long ;') <3

prompt

33. something you want to learn

ohhh, so much!! Academically for me, there's the entirety of. music and pedagogy that I really cannot wait to learn about once I go back to school, but beyond that dear god. i am consumed by the desire to learn and the exhaustion to never do it smh!

There's a ton of things I want to learn to better my character for Ren Faire, including hair-styling + makeup but also things like sewing, bookbinding, calligraphy... Corylana drives me to want to learn all sorts of niche things- I've been eyeing leathercrafts, blacksmithing, and embroidery to broaden her horizons. Also wanted to learn how to play things like the dizi and guzheng so that I could play them as part of her character, although now that sometime has passed since I first had those ideas, I think it'd be better/cooler/??? to learn Vietnamese instruments like the đàn tranh, đàn nguyệt, đàn tỳ bà, or the đàn tứ as a way to connect with my culture... I rotate it around in my mind Often!

Outside of Corylana + school, I also want to learn how to speak Vietnamese and Spanish, cook things that are more involved, play the harp/ukulele/kalimba ??, knit....... the list goes on and on. I hope I live a long time so that I can do all of it :')

42. favorite book(s)

This question jeff the kills me because it's been so long since I've had time to read for my own entertainment + I have terrible memory so I don't really remember what books I did enjoy a long time ago. A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki was one of my favorite books in high school, but a friend read through it v recently + it made me realize I don't remember it as well as I thought. 🌪 When I used to work at the library, I shelved Loung Ung's autobiography First They Killed My Father that I eventually decided to read it and its sequel, Lucky Child and god.... I cried so much reading those books, they were really good! I used to primarily tend to the nonfiction portion of the library- some other books that I frequently shelved and really enjoyed were Thee Marie Kondo <3's Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up (a fucking life-changer alongside her show.. completely changed how I viewed cleaning and organizing things and I'm really excited to apply that to our new house!) and the Little Book of Hygge! idk about you guys but I really enjoy nonfiction (is this Because of my old job or did I gravitate towards that section Because I subconsciously enjoy it??? a mystery...) so! if anyone has any recs I would love to jot them down! :3

53. 5 things that make me happy

this question... 🥺🥺🥺 questions like this are so sweet, thank you for asking it shannon 💞💞💞

as much as they drive me crazy, my family! esp my nephew- I think his birth really changed all of us and it's just. really cool to see him grow up. 🥺😭😭😭

keeping up with you guys + seeing what everyone is getting up to! i'm shit at keeping up conversations but it's genuinely always really nice to know everyone is doing alright :')

when you pour water from the fridge and it's Cold, instead of being lukewarm........ feels like hitting the jackpot <3

going to home stories, like Lowe's or Home Depot, and adventuring through their gardening sections... I'm not sure if you could call those liminal spaces but being in them is SO nice, i always feel like a little froggie haha

flying! there's something about going to airports and just being nobody, surrounded by other people who are on their own literal journeys and have their own stories. and also being up in the clouds and just watching the ground sloooowly slip by (although.. nothing emotionally gets me like when you're juuust low enough in the air to make out cars and stuff + you can watch them driving as if they were toys. OR when it's nighttime and the streets of cities are lit up like veins + if you fly over a highway you can Feel the flow of traffic in your own veins. I think all of this is like. a microdose of the overview effect haha!) I think I also enjoy flying because. for some short time. you are completely unreachable >)

Bonus sixth! just bc it's loud rn + on my mind. I honestly really enjoy having a room by the highway! I get in my own mind A Lot and it's comforting to have the sound of tons of people driving by to remind me that life is much larger than you think, that it goes on regardless, that to someone else the things I stress myself out about mean nothing.

another one smh... but stormy weather.. we're either in or approaching hurricane season and you can tell because it storms Allll Day Long <3 it's been thundering since at least 4am and ugh! weather my beloved!

#help!! i started to get emotional while answering this one!! 🥺🥺🥺🙈🙈🙈🙈 #i really enjoyed typing it up though.. thank you again shannon! <3 <3 #giving this a final once-over i think i've realized.. wbk i'm hyper-critical of myself and judge even the tiniest things i do... a lot of #the things that make me happy are things that remind me how insignificant. in the grand scheme of things. i am LMAO 🙈🙈🙈 #this even applies to my philosophy!!!!!!! i would say i need to lie down but i'm already in bed XD #sriracha ask game #sriracha.txt

[heartfragment]

Heart Fragment Walkthrough: Clive

In a lot of ways, Clive is similar to the protagonist. He has the same cynical view of the world, the same sharp tongue, and the same inability to be honest with himself. The strange events that bring Clive into your life make you wonder, though: is he an ally? Or an enemy?

Note: Most endings have multiple ways of getting to them. This is a guide to guarantee you get them all, but feel free to mix and match or experiment with your own ideas!

Endings Overview

(for those who don't want a full guide, just the general idea of how to get the endings; if you want a step-by-step guide instead, keep reading!)

Clive branch 1 criteria: certain traits will add points towards this branch. Branch 1 can be unlocked by focusing on the following traits: genuine, nurturing

Clive branch 1, good ending, romantic: end the route with a pink heart or higher

Clive branch 1, good ending, platonic: end the route with an orange heart or lower

Clive branch 2 criteria: focus on the following traits: nosey, paranoid, cautious

Clive branch 2, good ending, romantic: end the route with a pink heart or higher

Clive branch 2, good ending, romantic BONUS: end the route with a pink trait or higher AND the bold trait unlocked

Clive branch 2, good ending, platonic: end the route with an orange heart or lower

Clive bad ending 1: choose "Little Red is eaten by the wolf" during Act 2 of Clive's route, then choose "Keep on running" later on

Clive bad ending 2: choose "Little Red is saved in the end" during Act 2, then choose "Run" and "Turn to look" later on

Clive bad ending 3: have the paranoid OR cautious trait unlocked on Saturday of Act 2, and avoid the previously mentioned bad endings

Clive bad ending 4: have the paranoid trait unlocked on Wednesday of Act 2, then choose "Don't meet up with him"

Clive bad ending 5: choose "Don't do it" when prompted in Act 3, AND do not have the cautious or nurturing traits unlocked

Clive bad ending 6: have cautious trait unlocked on Saturday of Act 2 OR have Clive's heart at dark blue or lower

Full Walkthrough - Common Route

Be polite

Don't disturb her

Yeah, it's me

Sit near him

Search your mother's name

Read the obituary as well

Should I start posting selfies too...?

Ask Shannon about mutants

Offer to shake his hand

You are seriously all crazy

Yes

Yes

Walk in

Admit you're curious

ask all the questions available

Don't pull away

Do more research on your laptop first

Don't tell Kay

I'm not too sure about this yet

Speak up yourself

Tell her it was about something else

Nah, I can go by myself

Yes

Yes

Ask if you can draw Kay

Were you blind from birth?

They can be different now

Don't disturb them

Don't do it

Yes

Yes

Post about yourself

The panacea

Yes

Jasper

You don't think it's too late for that?

Thank you

Welcome home

Your father

I think it has improved

Superpowers

...a good power to have

I want to know more

Your teacher

No, sorry

A full nights rest does sound good

I was just curious

Yes

Post about yourself

Run away

click the eye in the bottom left when it appears with Shannon to read her heart

Tell her about your father

Yes

I feel inspired lol

Do I really need to move?

Am I going to survive this...?

Follow him

Clive is behind a tree, slightly right of center on the screen

Are you saying I was attractive?

Tell him why

Tell Shannon that you're moving

type in "Clive" when prompted for his name

Don't reach for it

Don't reach for it

Don't reach for it

Don't reach for it

Reach out to the hand

I'll tell Clive

I'll tell him about Jasper

You can come again

select the red/orange fragments

Fantasy Intro / Act Zero

Maybe we can hang out

So you think I'll be safe from now on?

CREATE SAVE POINT 1

Text her

Let's meet up soon

I guess I'll go outside for a bit

I am scared, to be honest

Leave the subject alone

Mention all the dreams you've had

Please tell me

Give him the benefit of the doubt

Pancakes are great!

Alright

Yes... I want to talk about it

Ask about his interests

Maybe I should give it a try someday

Yes I am

Maybe

there are three shells on the screen (one small, one medium, and one big). the small shell will lose the contest, medium will end in a tie, big one will result in you as the winner. it's up to you which you do but the medium shell will add a point in favor of Clive's branch 2. the small one is near the very bottom of the screen, slightly to the left on the shore. the medium one is near the shore down from center and slightly to the right. the big shell is a little bit away from the shore and further to the right than the medium shell. end the search by finding the feather at the bottom right corner on the sand.

Grab his arm for support

I'm not happy

Clive Act One

So... what shells did you find?

I should get some rest

...nice (romantic) OR ...interesting (platonic)

Keep your eyes shut

A latte

I'm not sure

I really miss him

Tell the truth

It's alright

Go to the forest without hesitation

Stay

How did his heart end up this way?

Try messaging him on StarxSocial

Sure

Clive Act Two

I believe you

Get up and sit next to him

CREATE SAVE POINT 2

What's wrong?

How long ago did you meet?

Leave the matter alone

CREATE SAVE POINT 3

...Little Red is saved in the end

It sounds like fun

I'll take your word for it

Thanks for bringing me here

...afraid of storms?

Let's take cover somewhere

Suggest continuing in clear weather

I want to play it with you (romance) OR the game sounded fun (platonic)

Reply to Clive (romance) OR reply to Shannon (platonic)

It's kind of nice to have him around

You should stay for lunch

I wish I could have told you where I was

You are pretty bad at it

No, you can stay

Ask what Lana means by that

I am enjoying myself

CREATE SAVE POINT 4

Run

Keep on running

Steam achievement granted for continuing to run: "Filthy Mutant!"

I'll keep fighting

Message him now

I'm worried about you (romantic) OR I hope you're safe (platonic)

choose neither option; instead, click the window curtain

Steam achievement granted for clicking the curtain: "Clive? Are you there?"

I believe Clive has a genuine explanation

Meet with Clive

Steam achievement granted for meeting up with him: "Benefit of the Doubt"

I don't believe that

Clive Act Three

1 update will show up on your phone in the bottom right corner while in Lana's living room, check it

Touch his hand (romantic) OR Offer words of support (platonic)

I want to be closer to him (romantic) OR I do care about Clive (platonic)

Come back to the city with me

Steam achievement granted for inviting Clive to come with you: "Come With Me!"

Leave the topic alone for now

Cover him with a blanket

I like the way you are now (romantic) OR You already remind me of Kay (platonic)

Try to contact Jasper

Clive is more handsome than I thought (romantic) OR Why is he so self-conscious? (platonic)

Yes

Clive End Branch 1

1 update will show up on your phone in the bottom right corner after you got to take a nap, check it

Don't go (romantic) OR Be careful (platonic)

1 update will show up on your phone in the bottom right corner while on the beach with Clive and Gray, check it

Steam achievement granted for reaching Branch 1 ending: "My True Home"

RELOAD SAVE POINT 2

Clive Act Two - Guide to Branch 2

You don't need to hide in your hoodie

How long ago did you meet?

Ask him about it

...Little Red is eaten by the wolf

It sounds like fun

I'll take your word for it

Why did you bring me here?

...stalling to spend more time with me?

Let's run home quickly

Suggest continuing when the weather is clear

I'm willing to try it

1 update will show up on your phone in the bottom right corner after you get home from being with Clive, check it

Reply to Clive (romance) OR reply to Shannon (platonic)

It's kind of nice to have him around

You're leaving already?

I wonder what's up with the coincidences

No, you can stay

React by being flustered

Run

Turn to look

Steam achievement granted for turning to look: "Friends with the Enemy"

Clive was working with him

I want to find out the truth from Clive!

Message him now

I'm worried about you (romantic) OR I hope you're safe (platonic)

Maybe it was Lana's phone

I want to know his side of the story so far

We'll talk, but not in person

Some people aren't supposed to exist

Touch his hand (romantic) OR Offer words of support (platonic)

I want to be closer to him (romantic) OR I do care about Clive (platonic)

But you could still get hurt

What happened to him?

Steam achievement granted for asking what happened to him: "Nosey"

Cover him with a blanket

You can't replace Kay

Try to contact Jasper

Clive is more handsome than I thought (romantic) OR Why is he so self-conscious? (platonic)

No

Clive End Branch 2

1 update will show up on your phone in the bottom right corner while talking to Clive in your bedroom at night, check it

...I love you (romantic) OR ...you're my best friend (platonic)

Steam achievement granted for reaching Branch 2 ending: "Internal Consequences"

Bad Ending #1

RELOAD SAVE POINT 3

...Little Red is eaten by the wolf

It sounds like fun

You could word that a bit better

Why did you bring me here?

...afraid of storms?

Let's run home quickly

Wait until he invites you again

Reply to Clive

I think he's sticking a little too much

See you later, then

I wonder what's up with all the coincidences

Do whatever you want

Run

Keep on running

Steam achievement granted for reaching bad ending: "Deal with the Devil"

Bad Ending #2

RELOAD SAVE POINT 4

Run

Turn to look

Bad Ending #3

RELOAD SAVE POINT 1

Don't text her

I'm going to stay inside

It's terrifying

Ask her about it some more

Read her heart when the eye symbol appears

Keep it to yourself for now

Refuse to be friends with him

CREATE SAVE POINT 5

It'll be fine

I do prefer waffles, actually

Alright

Yes... I want to talk about it

Ask about his interests

Maybe I should give it a try someday

No I'm not

No way

find the feather in the bottom right of the beach

Grab his arm for support

I'm not happy

So... what shells did you find?

No way, let's have a rematch

I should plan my next move

...weird

I need to look eventually!

A latte

Well...

I don't really know

Make something up

I prefer you don't pry anymore

Go to the forest without hesitation

Leave

How did his heart end up this way?

I hope he's safe right now...

Sure

Don't give up

I still want him back!

I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt

Maybe a little

You don't need to hide in your hoodie

Do you spent a lot of time with Clive?

Ask him about it

...Little Red is saved in the end

Isn't it too childish?

You could word that a bit better

Thanks for bringing me here

...afraid of storms?

Let's run home quickly

Wait until he invites you again

Reply to Shannon

It's kind of nice to have him around

You're leaving already?

I wish I could have told you where I was

You're embarrassing him

CREATE SAVE POINT 6

Leave it for another day

Steam achievement granted for reaching bad ending: "Quiet. At Last."

Bad Ending #4

RELOAD SAVE POINT 5

I don't trust him

Pancakes are great

I'd rather not

I don't want to talk about it

Walk in silence with him

Click the eye when it appears to read Clive's heart

I need to keep an eye on him

No I'm not

No way

find the feather in the bottom right of the screen

Get up on your own

I'm not happy

You can go home now, you know

I should plan my next move

...weird

Keep your eyes shut

Black coffee

Well...

I don't really know

Make something up

I prefer you don't pry anymore

Think it through

Click the eye when it appears to read Jasper's heart

Leave

I want to help Kay...

Can I really trust him after that?

I dunno...

Give up

But what will happen to Clive?

Steam achievement granted for reaching bad ending: "You did that wrong"

Bad Ending #5

RELOAD SAVE POINT 6

Go meet with him

Run

Keep on running

I'll keep fighting

CREATE SAVE POINT 7

Leave it here

Steam achievement granted for reaching bad ending: "Fool..."

Bad Ending #6

RELOAD SAVE POINT 7

Take it home with you

Wait it out a bit longer

I want to know his side of the story so far

CREATE SAVE POINT 8

We'll talk, but not in person

Some people aren't supposed to exist

Offer words of support

Clive has grown on me

You should leave town too

Say good night to him

You can't replace Kay

Don't do it achievement granted for reaching bad ending: "Poison"

Bad Ending #7

RELOAD SAVE POINT 8

Don't respond

#heart fragment #clive #clive heart fragment #walkthrough #heart fragment walkthrough #otome walkthrough #clive walkthrough #otome game #otome games #otome #english otome games #english otome game

[mrs-dragneel-stark-solo]

Made for Me (part 1)

18+ content!!!!

Part 1 of Made for Me

Pairing:  Hayden Christensen x Lexi!OFC

Word count: 3480

Warning: choking, hair pulling, oral (M/F) receiving, smoking , tied down, master/pet, blindfolded, ice use, toy use, unprotected sex.

Note: this is a fic I created for the amazing @thorne93​ since she’s been such an amazing friend and because she wrote me a steamy professor! Tony x reader/ Bruce x reader. I hope this lives up to the standards of smut seeing as it's my first time writing it! Enjoy!  Send me some feedback or some love.

Songs played while writing this:

Sexy Dirty Love- Demi Lovato

Come and get it- Selena Gomez

Boyfriend- Ariana Grande

Be Mean- DNCE

Addicted- Saving Abel

We all have that one celebrity crush from when you were a child and for Lexi  that person was  Hayden Christensen, having grown up watching him be Anakin was amazing the work he does as that character was always something that she  admired and not to forget how gorgeous he was.  The one thing that we all have fantasies about is being able to meet our crush and be with them, what she didn’t know was that her biggest fantasies were just about to all come true.

Lexi has been looking forward to the Star Wars convention all summer long and it was finally here. She went  alone as her best friend hadn’t been able to make it. 

After getting to the convention center she had grabbed her poster and a few other things.  Lexi had a good feeling about today. 

“Woah! There’s so many cosplayers here!” She exclaimed to herself. 

She walked around looking at all the booths. There were a few things she would go back to get later on in the day there had been a replica of Anakin’s saber that she had been looking to get for sometime and knew she would get it before the autograph signings. 

New to being a  cosplayer she had created a gender-bent version of Anakin when he had been turning to the dark side.

The corset was a dark brown and the skirt was dark brown fading to black. She had the hood on and wore contact lenses to show the red eyes . Many other people came up to her asking for pictures. This made her more confident and when she got the replica lightsaber  she knew she was ready for when she met Hayden Christensen.   She’d gone to get in like pretty early but was still surprised to see how long the line was.

A few more people were in front of her before getting to him. 

“Ahhh I can’t believe I’m about to meet Hayden!” She squeals. And a person behind her agrees. They chat to pass the time until she’s next.

“Next!” Said the person who was passing the fans in. 

Lexi walked up to the table and was met with a very smiley Hayden and her heart skipped a beat getting to be this close to him. 

 “Wow! Can you give me a turn please? That cosplay is spectacular” he said to her completely blown away by how beautiful she looked in the female version of his character. 

“Umm… s-sure” she blushed. 

He could tell she was a bit flustered and he liked it. Not getting to see her eyes clearly he went around the table. 

“Do you mind if I pull the hood back?”

“N-no not at all Hayden.”

Getting closer Lexi was able to see his blue-gray eyes she was completely entranced by them. 

He’s a lot closer than she thought he’d be. Lexi felt the warmth of his breathing as he took off her hood. 

“Whoa neat! Your wearing contact is similar to the one I wore.” 

“Really? I looked everywhere for some that look the closest to them.”

 “Well I gotta say you did some great work with this, mind if we get a picture?”

“I would love to Hayden”

He pulled out his phone and took a selfie and then had someone do a full body for him. 

“Hey do you have an Instagram? I’d like to send these to you so you can have a copy.” 

“Yeah umm here let me type it into your phone.” 

He handed her his phone and he can’t seem to stop looking at her. Or that  when they met at  the convention they would hit it off and there was something that he found mesmerizing about Her. 

 “Here let me sign the light saber and anything else you have.”

“Thank you so much!”

“Hey can you tell me your name?”

“ Its Lexi”

“That's a cool name, to Lexi the greatest female  Anakin I’ve ever met”

“Thanks again this means a lot.”

“I’m glad I got to meet you Lexi” he goes and hugs her and kisses her cheek. Taking a step back he sees she’s blushing. He winks at her and walks back behind the booth. 

Lexi has never been this flustered and quickly pulls the hood back on to hide her reddening cheeks.  What she hadn’t noticed was that he had written his number on the back of her poster.

 That very night Lexi and her friend Shannon shared screens to watch a movie and they talked about what happened at the convention. 

“You're not gonna believe this but Hayden asked for my Instagram”

“No way! Omfg lucky you, now I really wish I'd been there to see your reaction’

“ Remember that cosplay said I was gonna do for the gender bent Anakin”

“You actually took it nice what did he say”

“He actually wrote a little message on my poster saying that  I was the best female Anakin he’s ever met. “

“Why did he want your Instagram for though?”

“He took a picture of me with him as a selfie and then he asked someone to take a full body picture both of us together and he wanted me to have a copy”

“Lucky girl I bet you were freaking out.”

“I couldn’t stop blushing he was really close to me like upfront he took off my hood so you can see my contacts”

“You sound so smitten right now Lexi gosh I bet all the others were jealous”

They’d  finished watching the movie and  had a long conversation. Lexi went back to working on some of her things for her blog when she got a little notification on her phone.  She picked up the phone to see what it was only to discover that it was a following request by none other  than Hayden Christensen. Lexi couldn’t believe she was seeing this, he really did follow her.  she was wondering whether she was dreaming or not so she clicked confirm. 

 Soon  a message popped up  saying “ Hey Lexi I hope you don’t mind me just here to send you the pictures. It was really great seeing you and in the cosplay. I hope I get to see you some other time” 

She was  shocked he wanted to see her again but he’s a famous actor and thought  she’s a simple fan now he’s probably saying that just to be nice so she texted back “Thank you for the pictures I hope I see you at the next convention.” 

After that Lexi put her phone down and turned it off going back to what she was working on. She wanted to talk to him  but she didn’t know if Hayden would actually respond so she said to herself, “I think I’ll just continue working on what I was writing, I doubt he actually wants to talk to me just another one of his million fans”

Hayden didn’t really know how he would start off his message so he sort of went out on a whim and sent that he  “Cannot believe he met her, she is such a gorgeous woman and the  cosplay was unbelievable there was just something about her that he couldn’t quite stop thinking about, in a way she was very unique” and there was just this little feeling he had what he needed to see her again, although his work schedule may not allow it this soon he knew he’d find a way to see her.

Few months pass and nothing happened he didn’t text her because of filming but that maybe she would text him first to be honest he was very nervous he didn’t know exactly how he would start off a conversation with her he really wanted to get to know her but he felt that through text won’t  be the same he wanted to see her talk about herself and see how she reacted and how she expresses herself.

Lexi was a little bummed out that she never heard back from him after the last thing he texted her. She hadn’t replied because she just didn’t know how to reply. After a while she really believed that just maybe he won’t want to talk to her but seeing as she hasn't given  a single reply she went back to her  life being a blogger, go to school doing her thing until she her phone dinged “Lexi I wanted to know if you were free sometime tonight I’d like to meet up.” It said but quickly he added “if that’s OK with you” 

She was thrilled and scared because Hayden is one of her favorite actors ever and to just simply be texting him was a dream come true. Not wanting to leave him hanging  again she replied “I’m free at 7 tonight. Where do you want to meet?”

“Great I’ll see you then ;)”

“Wait how will we meet up, I live  in  Tennessee?”

“Don’t you worry about that I’ll have everything ready.”

 A little confused she went along with it. She had faith in him and whatever it was he was planning. Lexi was beyond thrilled and nervous because she was gonna meet up with Hayden Christensen! Her forever actor crush. 

Even though she still had 3 hours until they meet up she began planning what she would wear. She wanted something casual but also cute. So she went for one of her go to outfits. Having her current hair color  be pink, blue and purple she just washed  and let it air dry in  it’s cascade. As for her makeup she kept it simple with some blush, mascara and some matte lipstick.

As she finished getting ready she was screen sharing with her friend and co-writing partner so as not to fangirl so much in front of him. They were watching Awake a movie he happens to be in, her friend hasn't seen it so Lexi showed it to her while commenting throughout the movie Lexi kept her phone nearby so that she could see if she got a text. About halfway through the movie she finally got a text saying that she should come out that there’s a car waiting for her. She was getting excited again and would have to ask him how he knew where she lived. 

“Omfg! I just got a text from him saying there’s a car waiting for me!” 

“Good luck have fun and tell me all about it!” Shannon told her. 

Lexi stepped out of her house and indeed there was a car parked waiting for her. The moment she walked down  the stairs she was greeted by a  chauffeur. He went around and got the door for her and helped her in and she thanked the man.  The ride  had a bit of a calming silence which had been a big help since Lexi was still very nervous about what the night would bring. 

The car had stopped at a new food place that had been opened a few days prior to you going to the convention. The chauffeur got out of the car and opened your door and soon had taken you to the entrance where Lexi was met with Hayden holding some flowers.

“Hey Lexi I hope you liked these I didn’t know if you had a favorite flower so I got a variety of them.”

“Thank you Hayden they look beautiful.”

 “They look as beautiful as you do tonight.”

He made her blush with that compliment. “So Hayden, I was wondering how did you ever figure out where I live?”

“Well I actually saw some of the things you posted on Instagram and had some help figuring out where in Tennessee you lived” he said sheepishly. “Don’t tell your friend but she was  a big help too.” he smiled

Lexi was really at a loss of words because he went to all this trouble just to want to hang out with her.  The night was spent getting to know each other as if they’ve been friends for years. Throughout the night he  just couldn’t stop smiling at the way that Lexi spoke about her writing and the things she does.  It had been over 4 hours since they were at the restaurant, not wanting the night to end just yet Lexi got bold enough to ask  where he’s planning to stay,

There’s a little hotel not far from here that I was planning to get a room at.”

“Well after such a great time tonight I wanted to invite you to my home I have a spare bedroom there that you could use,” she shyly said. “The least I can do is make your stay here in Tennessee relaxing.”

“Thank you, that’s very kind of you, I was actually hoping to get a chance to do some sight seeing here, I was hoping you could show me around?”

“I would love to do that, how about we head home for now and we can make a list of what you might want to see?” 

“Sure, lead the way darling” he moved to the side so that she could get back to the car. He put his hand on her lower back as they walked out of the restaurant.

 Once they arrived at her house she led him to the guest room that was right next to hers and left him alone so that he could get set up and comfy. While that happened she changed into a big shirt and some shorts that she normally wore around the house. Meanwhile in the other room Hayden had gotten settled and changed from his outfit into a plain t-shirt and some sweatpants. After that he walked to what he assumed was the living room and looked around, there were many pictures of Lexi with her friends and family.

 He was admiring her book collection when she walked in and asked, “Is there anything I can get for you?” 

“No, I'm fine thanks for asking” he headed for the couch and sat down.

Lexi couldn’t help but watch him walk over to the couch. He looked so good in sweatpants. She stifled a groan at how turned on she was getting by the way he was dressed or how relaxed he looked in her home.

“I noticed you were looking at my book collection anything in there that caught your attention?”

“Yeah there were a few that I might take a look at later on if you don’t mind”

“Not at all, you’re welcome to borrow whichever you find most interesting.”

“That’s very kind of you Lexi, for tonight and everything”

“It’s no problem at all, but I should be thanking you for such an amazing night”

"You don’t mind if I open this window for a quick smoke do you?” he seemed a little nervous about asking.

"Go right ahead, make yourself at home" she waved at him. feeling less nervous now that they seem comfortable around each other.

He walked over to the window seat and opened the one window, there was a nice breeze out and he pulled out a cigarette from his pocket and his lighter, but what he doesn’t know is that Lexi loves seeing him smoke  in movies and knowing that he actually smokes is  even more nerve wracking. He notices that she’s started to rub her thighs together and figures out that she likes his little bad habit and he’s enjoying that it’s the little things that he does can easily get her turned on. She doesn't even know that he actually heard her moan when he walked over to the couch.

he turned back over to the window to blow the smoke out. he walked back to the couch where Lexi was now sitting at and sat close by her, being this close to her he could see the shade of brown that her eyes were a mix between milk and  dark chocolate and even though they've known each other for a few hours he has this urge to pin her to the couch and mark her  so everyone knows who she belongs to. He knew however he would have to wait and hope that he can show her that he wants to be a part of her life. He wasn't really sure if she would feel the same about him the way he feels about her.

He rubbed his hand on his chin and felt the small beard he was growing he would need to shave soon or else it would begin to bother him, plus the film he was going to be a part of required he have a clean shaven face. Lexi however thought he looked good with the beard, it was a nice change to always seeing him have a baby face on screen or at conventions.

“So what brought you to this quiet little town?” he started asking hoping to get to know her more.

“My family lived here for most of my childhood and I’ve never really considered leaving this place” she played with her hair and looks up “don’t get me wrong I do wish I could travel more but there’s ever really been a chance to do that.”

“Sounds like this place is your little slice of heaven, I’d be lucky if I had a place like that myself.” He places his arm behind her and his fingertips lightly brush her shoulders

“If you could go to one place in the world where and why?”

She shivered feeling his fingers ghost over her shoulder. “If I could go somewhere I think it would be Venice because I love the culture and the food too,” she blushed. “I think it would be an amazing place.”

This gave him an idea as to where he could take her next time, he hoped there would be  more things he’ll be able to plan with her or for her. 

“So tell me Mr. Celebrity, what’s it really like?” Lexi teased him. “Is it really like they say?”

“And what exactly do they say?” 

“That's mostly paparazzi, glitz and glam?” she cocked her head. 

“Well for the most part it can be but I'm not really one for that I like to keep my life as simple as possible.” he smiles at her. He can’t help but feel so relaxed around her. “That’s why you hardly see anything about me on tv”

“Well if anything the moments you are on tv are the best.” she blushes.

The rest of the time was spent talking about anything and everything. There were moments of silence but they weren’t awkward. She felt as if she’d already gotten to know him so much more than she’d ever expect and he felt the same way there was so much they both still wanted to know about each other but this wasn't the time for that. Later on they’d both come to find that they equally had the same interests sexually. They talked for hours on end that night till Lexi realized that it was 3 am and they still planned on going out to do some sightseeing. 

It had been hard for Lexi to fall asleep knowing she had her childhood crush sleeping in her guest room let alone knowing she’d be spending the whole day with him seeing all over the place she called home.  Sleep finally found her and all she could dream about was Hayden sitting at the window smoking looking so gorgeous under the light of the moon. She woke up pretty early and headed out for a quick jog hoping that would bring her some energy for the day.

Hayden had woken up a little after she had gone on her run so he had taken his time trying to figure out what they could do. He laid in bed for a bit searching for things nearby hoping he might get to see some exciting stuff or even get to see her favorite places here. Once he had an idea on what to do he tossed his shirt on the bed and grabbed some fresh clothes and headed to the bathroom and turned on the shower letting it steam up for a bit. Neither of them had realized that the other was in the apartment.

“Hmm looks like he might still be sleeping, Oh I hope I didn’t keep him up too late” she said to herself as she headed to the kitchen to drink some water, Meanwhile Hayden was getting his things in order to shower. Unaware of him being in the bathroom she went to her room to grab some fresh clothes for the day and headed for the bathroom the door was pretty thick so she couldn't hear the water running. She walked in and was surprised when she bumped right into a very much naked Hayden.

#hayden christensen #hayden christensen smut

[fluentlanguage]

#clearthelist July 2018: French, Welsh, And Why I Am Not Learning Chinese Yet

Welcome to my latest language learning update through #clearthelist. Clear the List is a support and accountability blog group sharing monthly language learning goals.

The Fluent Show

Fantastic month for the Fluent Show as we reached 270,000 downloads in under a year. YAY!! Thank you so much.

I loved the conversation Lindsay and I had in the episode “What is Fluency, What Is Mastery…And How Do You Get There?”, my top pick for the month. Every ambitious learner should hear discussion, so do check it out.

What Happened in June

June was always going to be a busy one, because it was the first launch of my brand new course German Uncovered. This is a story-based German course going from zero all the way to B1. There was much to do, and it meant a few early mornings and evening shifts. If you’re on the course, give me a shout. I’m so excited to finally share it with you.

In June, I also attended my first Canterbury Pride celebration and took a lovely week off travelling to Marseille. I also attended the People's Vote March in London.

Learning Welsh

Welsh is still my main language, though it came up a little short this month.

Cymraeg Gogledd neu Cymraeg De?

One thing that slowed me down was my belief that I should switch from the Northern Welsh accent (which I’d studied for 2+ years) to the Southern Welsh accent. Why? Because I moved from North to South in England.

This turns out to be a silly idea. When people tell me “everyone will understand you no matter what accent”, they are right. When they say “only a few words are different”, they aren’t right. Even though it’s possible to understand both types of Welsh, learning to speak them both is harder than I thought. Just look at these two sentences:

1. North Welsh: Dw i eisiau gorffen cyn yfory.

2. South Welsh: Dw i’n moyn cwpla cyn yfory.

As far as I know, these are supposed to mean the same thing, but all native Welsh speakers will understand both.

My tutor at the Welsh class I attended told me “no mixing your accents”, which has made the idea of switching what I’ve studied next to impossible. My italki tutor is a lot more chilled, saying it doesn’t really matter as long as I’m not taking formal tests.

Conclusion: Welsh accents are confusing. I think I’ll declare Project Southern Welsh something I don’t want to continue. I stopped making progress because I felt trapped in this whole accent confusion, when it’s not that relevant. For now, I’ll speak how I speak and let life go on.

Let’s look at the goals from last month.

Listening

I had hoped to continue watching the series Ffit Cymru. But the show’s focus on weight loss as a measure of all good in the world started getting on my nerves. So I watched perhaps one more episode, and my listening in Welsh came up a little short.

Reading

I had hoped to finish the book Sgwp (there should be a ^ on the w but my keyboard can’t cope), and I’m getting behind on this one. But I did take my edition of the magazine Lingo Newydd with me and read it on the beach in France. Result!

One cool new resource I’m using in Welsh now is parallel.cymru, a website featuring parallel articles in Welsh and English. I’m loving the fact that I can read more on screen now, and I even submitted an article myself.

Click here to read my article on parallel.cymru in English or Welsh

Speaking

My goal was to fit in two 30 minute sessions with my tutor Gwyneth, and I did succeed. Scheduling these in advance was a huge help. I was a worse speaker than usual due to the accent kerfuffle, and due to speaking French for 10 days this month. But overall, mission accomplished.

Writing

I wanted to stick with poetry and write a haiku in Welsh, but I didn’t get it done. I didn’t even write much else. WARGH.

Daily Contact Goal

In May, I logged 14 days of contact with the Welsh language. Pretty good considering I was very busy with the German course, and also spent 10 days in France. My most used resources were Lingo Newydd, Ap Geiriaduron, and italki.

Speaking French In France

My second language of June was French, as I recorded my first bilingual podcast in French and English and then took some time off in Marseille. I had a great time, and noticed the difference a week in the country makes.

I was able to speak French pretty well anyway, as it’s a language I’ve studied on and off for 22 years. The week in France worked wonders for my comprehension and my speaking confidence. I refreshed all those everyday phrases like “you’re welcome”, “that was awesome”, or “for takeaway, please”.

I also learnt I enjoy being not-perfect at French. Here in England, I speak a foreign language almost every minute of every day. It doesn’t feel all that foreign anymore. But in French, I am still a learner. There’s a challenge, and that felt great because challenge means progress.

We didn’t stay in the main tourist quarter, and so a lot of people were amused and curious about this German and English couple where only one half speaks French. My husband relied on my French skills and I could tell that speaking the language was an advantage almost everywhere.

Good to Remember: People Switch To English For THEIR Reasons

In a busy restaurant, the host told me how to get to my table in French. It was noisy, and I didn’t understand what he was saying. I said Pardon? and he switched to English. I told him that I do speak French and he can speak to me in French.

His answer? “It is very busy here and I can speak English. In other words: He was too busy to slow down. He didn’t care if I speak French well, and he wasn’t judging my language skills. This was about getting something done.

If you’ve ever been in a similar situation, remember that people switch languages because it’s best for them. When someone switches to English, it’s often because they have other things on their mind than your language progress. Click to read more about this and get tips for dealing with the situation.

Goals For July 2018

Now that I’m in the intermediate haze with Welsh, I find it more important than ever to keep going forward. Happy to put French to one side and focus on Welsh again this month, especially because at the start of August I want to go to the National Eisteddfod again!

Listening

So disappointed I can’t watch the World Cup with Welsh commentary! I need to get ready for the Eisteddfod so it’s time to hear a lot of Welsh. I will Listen to Welsh For 90 Minutes Every Week Doesn’t matter if it’s the Pigion podcast or a show on S4C, the most important thing is that I hear a lot of Welsh right now.

Reading

Try and Finish The Book Sgwp Same as last month!

Speaking

Have 1 Long Lesson and 3 Conversations Loved having shorter classes in June (I scheduled 30 minutes at lunch times) and I’ll keep going with that, but as we know I struggle with yes/no in Welsh so I’ll also book a long lesson to drill these specifically.

And it’s time to catch up with my exchange partner!

Writing

Every month, I read about poetry and I read some poetry. But I’ve not written any. Goal: Write 1 Poem, Any Kind

Maybe asking myself to even to a Haiku was too much, a hurdle in front of getting started. So I will dial down the ambition one more. Easy.

Finally there is one more language I am playing around with, but here’s why I’m not learning Chinese right now.

Chinese

I’m still not learning Chinese. I’m going at the pace of two words a week. There’s so much in this language: words, tones, characters, all of it unknown to me. I can best describe this as a Prep phase, way before “learning the language”. I don’t want to put pressure on myself at this stage at all, and all I’m doing is driven by curiosity.

I had a similar phase in Russian and Welsh, where I’m currently at A1 and B1. Prep phases feel so valuable to me, especially when the other language is different from the ones I already know.

The Prep Phase And My Languages

Here’s an overview of the languages I know:

I speak German and English at native levels. (C2)

I’m fluent in French (C1?).

I’m conversational in Welsh, if the conversation partner helps me. (B1)

I’m somewhat conversational in Spanish, if the conversation partner helps me loads. (A1-A2)

I can read Spanish, Italian, some Latin. (A1)

I can read Cyrillic and exchange basic pleasantries in Russian. (A1)

I’ve never done much with Asian languages.

If I started to learn Romanian or Swedish I probably wouldn’t need a Prep phase. But with a new unfamiliar system, I find this extremely useful. If I decide to take this further, dabbling with tones and apps could turn into learning Chinese for real. But for now, I’m just learning about the language.

How Was YOUR Month?

Do you have a Prep phase too? Are you struggling with accents in your target language?

I would love to read about what you’re up to in the comments below!

If you want to join the linkup and share your own goals for the month, hop on to Clear The List with Lindsay Williams and Shannon Kennedy.

#clearthelist #chinese #french #welsh #goal setting

[linestv]

Top 10 New Shows of 2019

Luckily, 2019 turned out to be a much better year for freshman TV than the year before. Cutting down the list to just 10 was a hard enough task, and that is with me still missing some great stuff that I didn’t manage to finish in time. I had a total of 26 new shows to choose from, which is 24 down from last year. Turns out this list is better than last year’s, so quality over quantity?

10. Perpetual Grace, LTD (Epix)

Perpetual Grace, LTD was given a chance just because it existed on Epix. Get Shorty managed to find itself in the #2 spot of returning shows last year, so it was only natural I should try out some of their new offerings. Good thing Perpetual Grace did not disappoint! Led by a fantastic cast, the story is truly one of the most insane things I’ve seen on TV. Not even necessarily because the story beats are unique, but because the presentation is unlike anything else. Fantastic cinematography and directing gave this it’s very own look, and I loved every second of it. Add some Ben Kingsley giving amazing monologues here and there in his typically psychopathic speech pattern, and you’ve got a winner.

9. Catch-22 (Hulu)

Catch-22 was a real breath of fresh air. It’s not often I’ll try out a show set during a World War, as that is not usually my cup of tea. I went against my instincts with this show though, and I am so glad I did. Catch-22 is not at all your average war show or movie. It has such a different tone to it that I haven’t seen in any similar show. Some really clever writing throughout, and some of that elevated by Kyle Chandler’s incredible performance. It’s a short show to get through, but it’s a great watch. I’d love to see more of these somewhat light-hearted shows set in times and settings you wouldn’t usually see them.

8. Undone (Amazon Prime)

How could you not give Undone a shot? Just one look at its gorgeous animation should be convincing enough that this is worth the small amount of time it asks of you. Rose Salazar turns out to be a great lead, and Bob Odenkirk is as charming as always. The way they play into the story with this unique style of animation is stunning. The story, it’s the type of mindfuck that I absolutely adore. Not only are you traveling through time, experiencing timeloops and entering potentially different universes, you’re doing all that with amazing visuals and performances to boot. It got a surprise renewal for season 2, but I’m not complaining!

7. Doom Patrol (DC Universe)

Doom Patrol might sound all doom and gloomy, but it really is not. In fact, it’s probably the most ridiculous superhero show or movie I have ever seen. And I mean that with all of my possible affection. This show does not seem to give a fuck in all of the best ways. It’s constantly surprising you with whatever weird shit they try to do next, and almost always easily succeeding. Diane Guerrero anchors the whole show with a compelling and believable turn as the personality-changing Crazy Jane, but all the others characters are a total hoot as well. Normally I would argue a show is too long if it’s 15 episodes of roughly 60 minutes, but every minute here was enjoyable.

6. Harley Quinn (DC Universe)

A second animation show to add to the list! Harley Quinn more than earns its spot. As if a show starring Harley Quinn wasn’t amazing enough, it turns out to actually be great on its own as well. Always hilarious and constantly cracking jokes, it’s hard not to enjoy a single second of this show. Kaley Cuoco does a brilliant job at portraying Harley Quinn exclusively through her voice work, and her relationship with Poison Ivy is easily the standout of the show. Enter lots of cameos from all kinds of DC characters too, and you know you’re in for a good time. They also swear a lot. Fuck.

5. Encore! (Disney+)

A reality show?! First a documentary show on last year’s list, and now we’re doing reality! Encore! easily deserves it’s #5 spot. Not often does a show bring you this much joy. I’m a big fan of musicals overall, and seeing these people go back to their high school lives and give an encore performance of one of their high school musicals is just too fun. It brings me tears of happiness. I have cried. Many times. It’s a shame Kristen Bell decided that she didn’t want to show up anymore, because that’s the only thing that could’ve made this better!

4. Why Women Kill (CBS All Access)

Why Women Kill was a total surprise. Sure, I was always gonna watch a Marc Cherry soap show. I’ve never seen more than one episode of Desperate Housewives, thanks to its terrifying length, but that doesn’t mean I have to miss out on his new projects! Glad I decided to not miss out on this. It’s a genuine soapy spectacle that had me rolling as much as it had me tearing up. Ginnifer Goodwin and Lucy Liu’s storylines are a total blast, and while the Kirby’s isn’t quite as good, it doesn’t let down the show in the slightest. Add some really fun production design and an incredible directed finale, and you’ve got a soap for the ages. Also, that intro!

3. The Morning Show (Apple TV+)

Probably my most anticipated show of the year, and while it didn’t quite manage to get to first on my eventual ranking too, third is pretty damn respectable. It’s hard to pass up a show starring both Reese Witherspoon and Jennifer Aniston, who are both masters of the ACTING here. It manages to balance its more light-hearted storylines as well as it’s very serious and touching storylines very well. They also made Aniston sing Not While I’m Around, which is as if someone looked into my brain and knew exactly what I would want.

2. The Other Two (Comedy Central)

This show came totally out of nowhere. The Other Two suddenly got these great reviews, and I was like: why the hell not? Turns out to be one of my best impulsive decisions of my TV career. Heléne Yorke gives an astoundingly funny performance was Brooke, and genuinely might end up in my comedy hall of fame if she keeps at it like this. Not just Heléne makes the show though, because the writing of the show is as sharp and funny as anything. Molly Shannon makes for a great supporting role too, so really you can’t go wrong with this show in general. Easily was my favourite of the year until...

1. Watchmen (HBO)

... until Watchmen happened. I’ve already got a soft spot for Damon Lindelof, okay? I’ll admit it. The Leftovers topped my returning shows of 2017 list, with good reason, and now Lindelof returns with Watchmen to once again top a list of mine... with good reason! Watchmen is an incredible miniseries. Twists galore, top tier performances, sharp writing and huge standouts such as A God Walks Into Abar and This Extraordinary Being is probably the best way to summarise the beauty of Watchmen, but no words will truly do it justice. Do yourself a favour and just watch it already.

The top 10:

1. Watchmen (HBO) 2. The Other Two (Comedy Central) 3. The Morning Show (Apple TV+) 4. Why Women Kill (CBS All Access) 5. Encore! (Disney+) 6. Harley Quinn (DC Universe) 7. Doom Patrol (DC Universe) 8. Undone (Amazon Prime) 9. Catch-22 (Hulu) 10. Perpetual Grace, LTD (Epix)

Honorable mentions:

David Makes Man (OWN) Evil (CBS) Unbelievable (Netflix)

My hope and prayers from 2018 came true. 2019 ended up being a fantastic year for TV. Would I have expected most of these shows to make my list when we started? Probably not. It’s always best to be surprised however, and I hope that 2020 will have many surprises in store for me as well. Let’s not alternate between good and bad years, let’s make it all great.

#top10 #2019 #TV #ranking

[theritualofourexistence]

2-0-GREAT-TEEN.

Just kidding. I absolutely refuse to call 2018 a “great” year. Mostly because I don’t know that anything is ever really “great” to me... I enjoy life’s complexities and I’ve worked hard to embrace them. But, when you take that approach, the live-in-the-moment, go-with-the-flow perspective shows you the good and the bad in basically everything. And while I have accomplished a lot this year, nothing is ever purely good. If nothing is ever purely good, and there’s always at least a little bit of bad, it feels sort of misleading to call anything “great.”

This sermon may or may not be connected to our idiot-President’s infamous slogan. 

And the knowledge that America has never really been great because we’ve been slaughtering entire populations of minorities for literally our whole existence.

ANYWAY.

That’s not why we’re here today. Today, we’re here for a recap! It’s early but I saw a post on Facebook recently that inspired me to sit down and write this now so here we are. 

Theeeere’s the punchline! 

Though I think some people probably see that little comic and think, “wow, what a dark way to look at a year,” for me (and for many people I know) not only is it a very real feeling but it’s also a triumphant one. 

So, with that picture in mind, let’s look back at 2018.

I survived my mom’s second foot surgery. My year started with Mom’s recovery from foot surgery number two. We weren’t able to do our normal holiday travel but it was really nice to spend that time at home and just relax. Once she was feeling well enough to travel, we headed to Jersey for time with cousins and their sunshine babies. 

I survived THE EAGLES WINNING THE GOTDANG SUPERBOWL. And let me tell you, I very nearly didn’t. The number of times my heart came to a screeching halt in my chest during playoffs and the run up to the Superbowl was too high to count. Then the actual game itself. I legitimately burst into hyperventilating, heaving sobs when the game ended. I’ve been an Eagles fan for a long time... I think I’m probably amongst the masses when I say that no one had expectations for success going into the playoffs last year. Watching the Eagles win was SUPER cool, but do I think they’re a great football team? ... No. I love them. And I will always root for them. But last year felt very much like some sort of fairy tale. An admittedly fun fairy tale though.

I survived my first semester of full time classes and internship. It was hard but I did it. And I got some good experience at a non-profit that focuses on rehabilitation of returning citizens... something very close to my heart that I hope to make a significant part of my career some day.

I survived the March for Our Lives. And I am SO glad that my professor allowed us to leave class to be a part of it. There are a handful of other socio-political/social justice issues that I wish I could’ve marched for but at the end of the day, gun control is one of the most important issues to me and I am honored to have been among the marching masses that day.

I survived Avengers: Infinity War. Barely.

I survived (and passed) my comprehensive exam. Though I spent most of my vacation preparing for and worrying about it... I did what I needed to do to cross it off my list and I am so proud of how I managed my anxiety in the weeks leading up to the exam.

I survived Crisis Intervention Team training! This is how I completed the internship requirement for my MA program and it ended up teaching me a lot of incredibly valuable skills for crisis situations as well as introducing me to a lot of the local resources available in Centre County. Hopefully the contacts I made during my training will be helpful in the continued pursuit of my career as well!

I survived the World Cup. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted, but it was still SO much fun to watch good soccer with my family. My team ended up being Croatia and they came so, so close to winning their first Cup. France played like champions for the whole tournament though and I cannot wait to see the type of player Mbappe becomes.

I survived my family reunion! I have almost always struggled with personal comparison. Whether that looked like competition between my friends in high school for the best grades or judging which cousin got into the best school and how well they did there... it’s been a problem for me for a long time. I’m the oldest of 15 cousins on my dad’s side. I am the only one who is overweight/obese. I am the only one who is nearly 30 and still living at home. It is SO hard not to get sucked into self-pity when I think about these things but my time with my family ended up being a true delight. 

I survived a beautiful photo shoot with my two favorite ladies. Shannon and Mikayla set me up for the best birthday present ever and I had a reclaiming-my-body-positivity photo shoot that yielded some of the truest, most beautiful pictures of me I have ever seen. I am still so thankful for this gift!

I survived our family trip to LBI. I played lots of mini-golf, I spent lots of time in the sun, and I gave myself a chemical burn with lime juice. COOL COOL.

I survived seeing “Hamilton” at the Kennedy Center! The show was incredibly and I feel so fortunate to have seen it... the staging was remarkable and I still think about it A LOT.

In a period of one week, I survived my best friend’s bachelorette party, a serious allergic reaction to a bug bite, and an infection that required antibiotics. I dunno, that kinda speaks for itself. SO fun to share in the party for my best friend... SO hot. And SO not fun to go to urgent care like 4 times in the course of 3 days.

I survived the Kavanaugh saga. This is maybe the thing I am most proud of. I won’t get into it again here but I spent a long time really upset and managed to come through the worst of it. See previous posts for more info.

I survived making cupcakes for and being a part of MY BEST FRIEND’S WEDDING. It was amazing. I am so honored to be a part of your lives, Kelley and Zak, and I am so grateful to have shared in your special day. It’s almost time for your honeymoon and I cannot wait to hear all about your first real adventure as husband and wife!

I survived flipping the house. We still have a lot of work to do but voting is one of the best ways to work for change and I did my duty this fall. 

I survived iron deficiency anemia! In three months I was able to boost my hemoglobin from 9 to 13.8 by taking supplements every other day and by rearranging my diet... I don’t exactly know what that means but my mom says it’s super impressive so this is also something I’m super proud of!

I survived another full semester of classes and my first paid job in my intended field! It was a LONG semester. There were times when I really struggled emotionally and I am so grateful to everyone who helped me stay on track. 

This year I survived a handful of excellent tattoos, I survived the 200th anniversary of Mary Shelley’s “Frankenstein,” I survived so many wonderful friend dates with my tribe in DC, I survived panic attacks and migraines, I survived dating apps, I survived ups and downs and politics and nausea and cat cuddles... I survived my Masters program.

So here we are. I’m not in a great mood today. I’m anxious about our travel for the holidays and my upcoming job search. I have a lot of things on my to do list and I’m sprinting head-first into my fourth holiday season of single living. There are a lot of things up in the air for me now so I’m finding it hard to be positive. But the reality is that for all the hurdles and successes of 2018, when you boil it all down, I survived a lot. We all did. And if nothing else, that’s something to be proud of and to celebrate.

Plus, if I survived all that, I’m sure I will keep fighting and finding new ways to survive whatever comes next. 

If nothing else, I’ll just keep re-reading “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire” until I feel better.

“As Hagrid had said, what would come, would come... and he would have to meet it when it did.”  

#2018 #recap #annual report #annual recap #a year in the life #a year in review #ups and downs #Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire #survive #surviving #positive #anxiety #successes #failures #keep going #keep fighting #keep surviving

[mounicalucia-blog]

5 Things Professional DJs Wish You Knew

These days, everyone seems to be a DJ. Or at least everyone knows a DJ. Within the past 10 years, the industry has sky rocketed to astronomical heights. When I was a kid, I didn’t realize that Djing was even a viable job option.

Now, at 33, it’s my full time career. Even though the industry has expanded exponentially, it seems like there is very little dialogue between Djs and the rest of the world. Many of my friends have expressed that they aren’t really sure what I’m doing, it just looks technical. So in order to shed some light and understanding on what’s actually happening behind the decks, I present you with 5 things that Professional Djs Wish You Knew. Enjoy!

1. It’s more than a party. We are working.

So you walk into the bar and you see the DJ in the corner, slighting bumping to the beat, grooving away in the mix. It looks like a good time. It is a good time. I get to watch people and play the songs that will become the soundtrack of their experience. I love it! But inevitably, someone will come up to me and want me to dance, take shots, listen to their life story, etc, not really keeping in mind that I’m currently in the middle of a DJ set.

I’ve always wondered why the barrier of performance respect isn’t really there for Djs. Perhaps because we are so easily accessible? Maybe because we are the hub of the party. Who knows. I come from a performance background, myself. And never, when I was in the middle of a symphonic performance, a dance recital, or while I was mid-monologue on stage during a play, did someone come up to me to do any of the before mentioned things. But it almost nightly happens to me as a DJ. And almost always the person asking me gets offended when I don’t adhere to their request.

Regardless of whether it’s a request to come have a dance, have a conversation, step away for a drink, or whatever, it’s taking my time and focus away from the overall flow of the event. While I can break away for short bursts of time (under 60 seconds usually) to listen to a customer request, engage in short conversation, etc, I am still responsible for keeping the music going and managing the vibe of the event. Anything that takes our attention away from that is basically distracting us from doing our job. So while we might be in the middle of a raging party, and we are absolutely having a great time, please remember that we are still working, and that it isn’t really the time or place for distractions. Get my social media handle and slide in the DM if you wanna talk.

2. Putting together a good set is a lot harder than putting your itunes or spotify on shuffle.

With the digitalization of music allowing for increased accessibility, the number of people who have access to the tools needed to dj has also increased. In the earlier days, a DJ was defined by their library of music, often possessing records that were hard to come by. With anyone being able to copy a hard drive or rip an mp3, it’s gotten to the point where it seems anyone who can program their Spotify to shuffle is a self-titled DJ. Professional Djs want you to know that a lot more goes into playing a killer set than programming a playlist in Itunes.

For a DJ set, you never want to stop the music, so it’s more like you’re playing one long song. I always imagine my sets like making a musical quilt. This is achieved through mixing and mashing songs in variations of clever transitions. (More than the auto fade that your itunes does) A DJ set is defined not only by the songs she chooses, but also by the way she chooses to move between them. A good DJ set will sound fluid – without sudden breaks in the music or the vibe. In order to achieve this, the DJ must beat match the songs to make sure they flow in time with each other. And that’s just the beginning. More advanced Djs will incorporate more in-depth techniques such mixing in key, musical phrasing, tone play, word play, and scratching into their transitions and sets.

Check out DJ Puffy’s Winning Set from the 2016 RedBull Thr3style World Finals for some amazing examples of advanced mix techniques. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=...)

3. I’m a DJ. NOT a Jukebox.

This one is huge. Like HUGE. Like every professional DJ I know wants to scream this from the roof tops type HUGE! Let me set up a scenario. Your wedding reception has ended and you and the wedding party have decided to night cap out at a local club. When you walk into the club, you walk right up to the DJ, announce that you are the bride and then present a list of 10 songs that you want to hear. Congratulations. You’ve just acted completely entitled and self-centered and successfully mistaken the DJ for a jukebox.

Let me break it down for you. The person who you should have given the list of requests to is the DJ you hired for your private event. When that event ended and you walked into a different establishment, that DJ’s obligation is not to you, but to their client (which is the establishment that they are working for) When you walk up to the booth, interrupt their set, and make your numerous requests, you are completely disregarding the intention of the venue and the creative intention of the DJ by insisting that the entire vibe and focus switch to you. Save that for the private event Djs (which start at $100+/hr) who are being paid to make everything about you.

It’s important to remember when you walk into an establishment, the venue has a specific goal for the night, and it’s the Djs job to execute a set in a way that will help achieve that goal. A lot of times that means saying no to your crappy, off-placed request. For example, some frat boys thought it would be funny to hear Elton John’s Tiny Dancer at midnight in the middle of a dance club. Much to their disliking, I said no. Because, if I had played that song at that moment, the 3 idiots who wanted to hear it would have laughed at their inside joke, and everyone else would have left and gone to the next club over to continue dancing. Many times, as the person managing the vibe of the night, half of our job is to ward off those terrible requests so no one kills the vibe and the venue stays busy. That’s one of the biggest reasons venues hire a DJ and don’t just leave the music in the hands of whoever is quickest to the jukebox.

4. Most Djs cringe inside when someone walks up to the booth.

I feel like this one should come as no surprise after I set up those last two scenarios. As I was saying earlier in the article, there seems to be an apparent lack of performance respect that gets extended to Djs. From rude and demanding requests from patrons to being told I’m the worst DJ ever if I don’t have a specific song, to having people actually throw things at me from the dance floor to get my attention, the way many patrons and club goes treat Djs is often poor at best. Now, this isn’t everyone that we encounter. But it definitely happens on a regular, nightly basis. You get to a point where you see the giggling group of girls coming up and you already know that they’ll be asking you to play Despacito again even though you just played it like 20 minutes prior. Or they’ll walk over and say “play something I can dance to!” while you’re looking out at a full dance floor. Or they’ll ask what songs you have (like you’ve got time to go through the 60,000 plus songs on your hard drive) and try to look over your shoulder at your music library. Often times they’ll just walk up and thrust a bright phone screen in your face (basically blinding you) that has youtube pulled up with the song they want to hear. Other times, they’ll walk over to the booth and try to make conversation, or worse, intentionally distract you so that you mess up (flashing, twerking, touching gear, etc) Others will approach with the “I used to/ am/ was/could be/wanna be/dreamed I was once/a dj – can I get in on your set? Like you’re supposed to just turn over your turntables and tag them in. These are the sort of interactions that we get more often than not when playing out as a DJ. (And it’s not just from giggling groups of girls.)

Every now and then, someone will walk up (and I’ll be secretly cringing in my head, preparing to kindly handle whatever mess is about to be dropped on me) and they’ll simply say, “You were fantastic. Thanks for playing a banging set!” They may even throw down a tip. Those are the ones I live for. But they’re also few and far between compared to the other ways that people choose to treat djs.

I think if I can speak for all Djs, the one thing we really want from club goers is to be treated with a little more respect. #respectthedj Many of us don’t mind humoring requests, but you’ll find at the end of the day, a little respect goes a long way.

5. You Get What You Pay For. Every. Single. Time.

This last is for everyone who has ever hit up a DJ talking about I can’t pay you, but you’ll get lots of exposure! This one is specifically for you. And it’s something that holds true across all industries and in all types of business. Which is the part where you get what you pay for. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard clients tell me how awful their DJ was, only to find out that they barely paid $100 and some gift cards. HOLD THE PHONE. WHAT? I know everyone wants to get the best deal possible on things. That’s part of our bargaining nature. But seriously, I feel like I need to break down costs for some people to understand.

While you’ll find variations up and down in either direction, I believe a good median expectation price for a private event DJ is starting at $100 an hour. Time frame, Season, location, equipment add ons, and etc. will obviously add additional cost to that price point. Sometimes when I present a quote to a potential client, the response will be an astounded “but this isn’t a wedding!” to which I want to add that median price point for a wedding DJ starts around $150-200 an hour.

Again I’m picturing a confused client scratching their head and asking, “but that much money? Just to play a few songs?” And again I feel the need to break it down a little further.

First, keep in mind that the average professional DJ set up is a several thousand dollar investment, with an average setup ranging anywhere from $2k – $10k+. Also, true professionals keep back up gear on hand in case of emergencies. Next, there’s insurance and music licensing. The average working DJ will shell out another few thousand over the course of the year in music licensing costs and insurance fees. To operate legally and on professional, industry standard equipment, it’s not a low cost.

The other side of that is professionalism. This is the difference in a $50 dj who shows up an hour late, plays inappropriate music on poor quality gear that doesn’t sound good and feels as though his job was done just by showing up, basically completely embarrassing you in front of your guests. Versus a professional DJ who arrives early, has gear set before people arrive, is courteous to you and your guests, plays music that is appropriate, is able to manage the flow and logistics of the event in a way that’s seamless to your guests, and overall creates an enjoyable environment that complements your party. These are prime examples of experiences created by a professional vs by someone who just happens to own some DJ gear.

Professional Djs want you to remember when you get that quote, the value of the service that they’ll be providing you. While the price may seem high, remember that part of what you’re paying for is peace of mind. The same way that Grandma used to say you never skimp on Peanut Butter or Hot Dogs, if you’re looking for high quality entertainment at your next event, I’d like to suggest that you don’t skimp on DJ services either. The drapes and table clothes, you can probably get away with going cheap. But the DJ can either enhance or ruin your entire event. I don’t know about you, but I’d prefer to take my chances with the drapes.

Visit - 5 Things Professional DJ's Wish You Knew - DJ Shannon C

#professional dj #femaledj #tampagirl #djs #girldj