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tinycaprisun · 4 years

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a song not about love

title: a song not about love characters: chuck taylor x trent beretta word count: 1864 part: 1/1 warnings: mild cursing, no character names are said (but the perspective is alluded to be chuck’s and the “best friend” is trent) a/n: hi! so, holy crap i’m actually doing this... i know, it’s freaking me out too. i guess for context, yesterday i literally did not sleep at all and in a 5 am sudden burst of energy, this little fic came out of my brain. i’ve never posted my work online before, so this is kind of a big thing for me? also, this is so different from how i normally write because there is next to no dialogue, and it’s not, uh... funny? but it sure is something ahah

He won’t say it. That one fucking word that has been tormenting him for what feels like his entire life. He will not under any circumstance say it, or hell, even feel it. It sets you up for failure, for a gashing claw directly to your heart as it punctures and plays with what little you have left.

It’s like that song from Hercules, he thinks. The one where Meg is singing by the fountains about her feelings for Hercules and denying them every step of the way. It feels like that, except the brunette knows this isn’t some sappy Disney movie. This is real life, the one that made him hate himself every time he looked in a mirror. The one that gave him no other option to cope with everything that swirls in his mind at blinding rates than to drown what he does have away.

Words were never his strong suit, with him always clinging to actions and movement, as more often than not, his mouth would betray him with what would come out of it.

There’s this burning sensation, festering deep under his skin, well into the flesh, that tingles and jumps no matter what he does. It gets worse when he’s around. Not that he would know it, his friend was never good at picking up on just about anything. Itching, almost, with him unconsciously rubbing his arm over and over trying to forget that was where he had last touched him. A congratulatory pat, and that was it.

The thought of already being dead crosses his mind. That perhaps, he is already dead, and that what he is living now would be his own personal hell. Set up explicitly to torture him for the wrongdoings of when he was alive. He wonders what that life was like, and if the people he knew now were there. That gave him no solace, as even if he were still living, there would still be his best friend there ruining it all.

Ruin in the best way possible, he amends. Because without him, the brunette can’t picture his life in any capacity. There would be none as far as he is concerned. There was so much of him that did not have, that lived in his friend.

Someone a long time ago said they were soulmates. Platonic, he assumed at that moment, was what the man meant. All this time later, he knows what he was getting at. He won’t say it, he never will, but he knows why the other man said it. That memory liked to crawl into his brain sometimes, replaying like a song you have stuck in your head until you can’t take it anymore and finally listen to it. It does not ease your pain, the song is still stuck.

Soulmates were someone that housed all of the pieces of you that you did not have. The parts of you that you could fully - the word - because they were in someone else. Maybe that was why he liked keeping his friend around all the time. Because they were the same person.

Except they weren’t. His only slightly shorter friend was better than him at literally everything, not that it bothered him. It just made for more to... This was getting harder and harder to not say by the ever so slowly ticking seconds.

His mind takes over again. Blocking him even farther from reality than he already was, to think.

It’s the way he smiles, he ponders. But only when it’s at him. Tiny, unguarded, and sweet like pineapple fluff. Adoration is always in there too; along with warmth, and if he himself was feeling extra in his own head, intense longing. He silently prays for the last one. Never has been sure why, but he hopes with everything he’s got, that it’s in there somewhere.

What was longing? Catching his eyes across the room as they sparkle under even the dingiest of LED lights? They’re brown, like rich earth that used to be beneath their feet when they would do an outdoor show. Exposed from years of treading, letting others walk upon it without question, working down to its most basic form. It’s very core. He decides that him and the earth aren’t so different.

There is no reason to be like this. So deep into his own recesses that even the most forceful of tactics will not rouse him. Akin to a coma, however his eyes are certainly still working and there is definitely a concerned friend staring at him through their own pair of sunglasses and a neutral expression.

He says something, slow and quiet like he usually does. It does not compute. His friend says it again. He cannot speak, but he can shrug while moving his gaze to stare past him.

It’s radiant over there, a shining oasis asking to have its glory basked in. Unsurprisingly, it’s him. Recognition helps bring back his question. Longing is time. All of it wasted, even if there is still so much to go. No mercy is given to him, not that he believed he deserved it.

His mind jitters and trails off again as it usually does. It’s his voice, he considers. Peering at him would make you guess it’s low and gritty, but he knows far better than that. His voice is of a baritone, but it’s far too uplifting and sometimes outright high to be anything else. Smooth also felt applicable, calmly finding its way to the right words and pitches as his hands say what his mouth can’t. He really enjoys that quality about him.

Reality is boring, he concludes. Sinking back into his cave of wonders and mostly misfortunes he calls his brain. He has his muse of which to think about... again, and the brunette couldn’t be any more content.

Content is the wrong word. Again, he is no good with those, but he does know that content is something he will never be. His is different though, for a reason he will not say. Fuck, are we really back to thinking about longing? For a third time? Is this what he wanted; to be caught in an infinite time loop, ala Groundhog’s Day, where he relives every thought he’s had for the millionth consecutive time?

To be fair, that was how it always was when he saw him. Everything surfacing at the same time and he gets caught in the crosshairs, winning the wonderful luxury of wading through them again.

His laugh is nice. His hair looks good today. The tank top he has on is way too tight fitting and leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination. Not hard to imagine anyways, he’s seen it a thousand times, having roamed it with his hands. But only briefly, and the idea sends him into a tizzy.

One that marks the end, the one that finally has snapped him and made him have a new goal. It’s like drowning again, except not in his usual Crown. This is one where he actually can’t breathe, unable to get above water safely and take those precious gulps he so desperately desires.

He is standing in front of him now, fueled by this very known force that has a known name that managed to carry his battered body to the other side of the room, without him even noticing. There is no one else in the room. Or maybe there is, but he can’t tell. For him, it’s only his friend and himself, which is all he could ever want.

His best friend asks him how he is. He does not answer. The other brunette seemed vaguely alarmed by this, commenting on this fact and letting the notion hang in the air. There is no true reply, not to what he is asking nor to anything else. They stand in silence, pressure building and concern rising, like a dam that’s about to burst open and destroy everything in its wake.

Being forward has always been his calling card. Breaking any tension or an awkward silence with little tact and a lot of bluntness. He’s rough around the edges, as are most things in his life.

This one comes off as a cliff though, hurtling himself off of it and waiting until he hits the bottom. But there is none, all there is- is his best friend, still concerned for his well being, because of course he was. Did he really need another reason?

Now there was even less reason to be cautious. If he didn’t say something now, the brunette was going to faint, the lights behind his green eyes going out like the flickering flames of a candle. Where he would drop, essentially dead to the world, straight to the floor and live there for eternity. Or until his friend kneeled down and checked on him.

That idea… The thought of waking up to his face. Seeing him tending to him because for his friend, life seemingly depended on it. But he didn’t know that. What he did know was that the thick and uncomfortable quiet that had filled the room; reminiscent of a smog like haze, was becoming unbearable.

Caution. Wind. Blunt. Do it. He has to. He will explode if he doesn’t. His best friend is staring at him with what feels like baited breath and stitched brows. He looks completely mental, clearly needing to say something, anything really to amend the situation. At this point it doesn’t matter, he’s so gone for him that even if this irreparably damages their relationship, he would at bare minimum be rewarded with getting real sleep at night.

His mouth opens on its own accord, letting the words waterfall out nearly unceremoniously as he keeps eye contact with his friend.

“I’m in love with you.”

He says it.

The one fucking word that has been tormenting him for what feels like his entire life. He says it out loud, to his best friend’s face, with a few words before and after it. Sure, he could say that they don’t matter as much to this whole ordeal he got himself into, but truly, they make up the full saying that has been playing on loop on his head for months.

His friend doesn’t react, not instantly, staring at him with a blinking gaze as either his brain self-destructs, or tries to figure out a way to let him down easy. Heavy doubt sinks into his bones, weighing him down and taking residence within him.

It’s a new, hellish, spiraling sensation that the brunette was not ready for. He was used to his usual downward hole of thoughts, usually brought about by his unmitigated need to bash himself, but this… This feeling didn’t even compare, with it being so much more destructive and raw, it opened him up like he was a frog being dissected and leaving him vulnerable to the world.

He finally speaks, his words soft and slightly timid as he can’t seem to look away from him. Unlike what he was expecting, his friend's expression was open and understanding, albeit still taken aback by his forwardness.

“I… I love you too.”

#chuck taylor #trent beretta #chuckie t #trent?#no real names #aew fanfiction #wrestling fanfic #shut it liz #tinycaprisun writes #my writing #chuck tea #trenty b #fics #current song: why not me

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dilettantereviews · 5 years

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Due to some personal circumstances, finishing this list took longer than I’m proud of, but I hope it’s worth it.

Isolation by Kali Uchis- This was a hard album to write for, not because of the quality (obviously), but because it’s so all over the place and hard to classify. I first paid attention to her through an ONTD original about pop stars with personas, then I thought of her as an indie pop girl, and her collaborations with rap and Latin artists make me compare her to women in R&B or urban music as well. But she’s just Kali. People always talk about “it took Ms.Nancy 8 years for her debut but it’s iconic!!” but for Kali I definitely feel it. The psychedelic baroque intro alone lets you know that you’re about you go on a journey of an album. Songs like Miami, Tomorrow, and Your Teeth, My Neck (and I guess Just a Stranger) all talk about the uncomfortable intersection between wealth and desire, while songs like Dead to Me (lol) give some brevity and energy to this album. For critics who think she can’t sing, Killer has a great Winehouse-esque performance. The album cover looks like a Prince Protege vanity set fantasy painting.

Joyride by Tinashe- Tinashe had a weird 2017, with Flame flopping, Light Up the Sky dropping, and a bizarre Taco Tuesday outing (why?!?! They said it was a networking event, but for who? The girl has more collaborations than all the different companies Pepsi distributes for), but her 2018 was better. We got a random HQ picture that turned out to be the first cover for a tringle that lead to Joyride. She answered many questions like yes, she did need to use legal options to release Joyride, and no, she didn’t like Flame. She release a great pop album that is a little Frankensteined together but you can still use all the songs. Although things seem murky now, I feel that Tinashe will keep giving us great, unique music. Personal favorites include No Drama, Faded Love, No Contest, and Ooh La La.

Caution by Mariah Carey- I keep seeing people mention that this is their first Mariah album, which is appropriate, because this feels like a new beginning for her. It’s my first Mariah album too, but I’ve seen one Popjustice member say that this is her only album where she mainly sings in a lower register and where the background instrumentals are darker electronics. I’ve heard that Me.. I am Mariah at least tried out new things, but this incorporated everything successfully. I’ve never really listened to Mariah before because I just figured it would be mostly ballads and midtempos, but this album kept things unique. Highlights include GTFO, A No No, Giving Me Life, and Portrait. This album is the sonic equivalent of putting your favorite Bath and Body Works moisturizer on, making a warm drink, and hiding under a weighted blanket, and who doesn’t want that in a year like this?

Take Me to the Disco by Meg Myers- People say that there are too many meaningless buzzwords (true) but I don’t think alt vs indie rock is one of those. Indie is generally minimal and guitar based but alt is left of the middle rock and expansive. Meg went for category 2. Following her great debut album from 2015, she went for a bigger, better, and darker sound this time. It reminds me of Tori (Tear Me to Pieces and Jealous Sea sound very Choirgirl), PJ, Trent, and the Smashing Pumpkins. Take Me to the Disco is a nice ballad that starts out the album, which doesn’t prepare you at all for Numb, the following track. Done and Funeral are also strong. Listen if you’re tired of slackers in music.

Childqueen by Kadhja Bonet- If music indicates mood, I don’t know what Spotify premium subscribing, Allmusic reading, time travelling aliens would know about 2018. Sure, there were some political albums, but I feel like the pace of crappy events was faster than (High quality) political music. Even on a personal level, 2018 wasn’t ridiculously iconic or anything for me, and I was still petty and had grudges to work on. That being said, I have no clue how psychedelic music became big for me this year. We had Moodoid, Melody’s Echo Chamber, The Internet (sort of), and Dita Von Teese. But my favorite is perhaps Kadhja Bonet, whose theatrical sounds are like the score to an old Disney movie. Mother, …, and Second Wind are great. Bonus EP was released this fall.

so sad, so sexy by Lykke Li- I haven’t really listened to Lykke before, so I figured her pop reinvention was a good time to get into her. This album reminds me of Nelly Furtado for indie songwriting but with hooks. Although sometimes the trap parts are a little awkward (use vaporwave instead!), this was a good reinvention. My favorites include Two Nights featuring Amine (he is NOT a rent a rapper!), Jaguars in the Air (you and me we’re psychedelic!), and of course, sex money feelings die. I would love a Jessy Lanza remix album commissioned.

Silk Canvas by Vanjess- Everyone loves whisper registers and high pitched whisper singing in R&B (Diana Ross, Janet, Aaliyah, Ciara, Cassie, Tinashe) but what I really love is a deep voice (or at least one that sounds a little raspy). Vanjess joins Her, Total, and T Boz and even The Weeknd in the deep vocals crowd. Don’t mark these Nigerian princesses as spam, just give them a stream, no bank accounts required. I like that they have a better understanding of making a cohesive album with different genres and still staying in a certain vibe instead of doing the same song 12 times. Even their remix EP gets that. Control Me and Addicted, the big singles from this album, are good symbols for their moody R&B sound but they have more than that. Touch the Floor is more uptempo in the vein of Kaytranada, as are the excellent Through Enough and Another Love. My Love reminds me of Aaliyah’s One in a Million. The One picks up where the 80’s revival trend left off, but improves on the synth funk sound. Even Cool Off the Rain, a 2 minute interlude, is worth listening to.

7 by Beach House- I don’t know what made this album click with me. This is my 4th album for Beach House, so I thought I just wouldn’t get them by now, I listen to dream pop and shoegaze enough where I thought I’d like any vibey music. This album didn’t reinvent the wheel but it has warmth to it, without losing their signature ‘when your arm has pins and needles and you need to wiggle yourself to a healthy blood circulation again’ sound. Favorites include Lemon Glow, Black Car, Dark Spring, and Girl of the Year. I also recommend Wax idols and Pinkshinyultrablast if you’re looking for more shoegaze..

Dita Von Teese by Dita Von Teese- This was always going to be a niche passion project by a burlesque artist, so I don’t think it was ever going to set the charts on fire, but not even the internet cared about this? If you miss Lana’s old Hollywood glamour, you should check out this album. It mixes 60’s psychedelics with electronic music to create a perfect loungy sound. I’m not saying I’m those “I miss 2012 Lana!!” but I stuck with her through her Old Hollywood Jackie Kennedy Born to Die phase, her 60’s Manson Girl Ultraviolence cult phase, her 50’s (?) maps to the stars Honeymoon, and 70’s singer songwriter Lust for Life phase, so I was excited to see what other incarnations we would get. Would we get a full on spaced out culty version of Honeymoon? An 80’s Midwest goth album? A late 90’s vaporwave mixtape? Okay, most of these are just words thrown together that nobody would want, but Dita’s album had the concept and the execution there, all it needed was the audience. The French songs have a certain sadness in them. I like Bird of Prey and Dangerous Guy as well, but the whole album is well produced and beautiful sounding, so you should listen to it if you just want some easy listening that’s riskier than most of pop and alternative’s current artists.

Black Panther- Yes, this should count as an album. I’ve seen people treat The Hunger Games soundtracks (yes, those movies didn’t spontaneously appear on TNT one day) as real albums and stan Lorde’s vision for it. I’ve seen people stan the soundtrack for A Star is Born, like it’s a real Lady Gaga album, but Black Panther is where y’all draw the line? Okay. Aside from the breakout single, you get a good vocal performance from SZA, a top tier Jorja Smith song, the best flute performance of 2018, and the downtemp Seasons. That a random soundtrack can have that much cohesion is good for Kendrick Lamar but bad for other artists.

#best of #best of 2018 #kali uchis #tinashe #mariah carey #meg myers #kadhja bonet #lykke li #vanjess #dita von teese #black panther

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sabbyvincent · 6 years

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How I Met Tom Gurney:

I had remembered it like it was yesterday.

I was exiting Hattrick's class, which was ironic considering I shared the class with Tom. I left to go to my locker, intending to put all of my books away when suddenly as I opened it, I was surprised to discover a bouquet of pink roses with a box of chocolates. I was in awe in that moment, my heart bursting with pure joy. No one had never done something like me, and I found it so romantic. I assumed it to be one of the greasers, or one of the non-cliques doing this for me. Possibly Jimmy, because I know he has a reputation for picking locks and running errands for other student's to put chocolates or flowers in a certain someone's locker. Upon retrieving the flowers in my hand by the stem, I discovered an anonymous folded note attached to it. On the front, it had revealed my name. I didn't recognize the handwriting, so I immediately cleared the boy's names. It was decent, and had a mature appeal to it. It was readable, and when I studied with Jimmy before I knew it wasn't his. His handwriting was much sloppier and careless. This person took the time to write my name perfectly.

I unfolded the note in hopes of finding the person's alias. But it was nothing. However, my heart was warm, palpiating more than normal. I read it word for word, carefully, trying my hardest to interpret who the culprit could be. It asked to meet me at the motel located in Bullworth at 7:00 on a Friday night, and the person addressed them as the famous secret admirer of everyone's life.

When I was in the dorm room, I pondered who this person was. I remembered taking all of my yearbooks I had from years prior to it, jotting down ideas in a notebook who my secret admirer was. The frustrations and irritations I would get, as it didn't make sense. I became annoyed that I was musing like this and making it out to be some mathematical equation. (Which coincidentally, my roommate Beatrice Trudeau who was studying on her AP Calculus homework) I decided to crumple the paper into a ball and toss it into the trash can, allowing my worries to fade away and be replaced with a grateful attitude that I received such a love letter like this.

I didn't tell anyone about the letter and the gifts. I was so thankful Beatrice didn't question the sudden change of having flowers in a vase. She was so occupied in her frequent study sessions we barely had a chance to bond much. Perks of having a introverted and closeted nerd for a roommate instead of a gossiping popular girl like Christy Martin. (No offense to her though, we are actually good friends.)

The main reason for not telling anyone was because at a school like Bullworth Academy, rumors spread like wildfire. (Legitimately stolen from a Sabrina Carpenter song- awesome first name by the way) Privacy was bound to get leaked, and all of your deepest secrets. For example, Vance's rash? When he told it to Lefty, he later told Luis, who told Casey, then transferred it to the entire football team, and then later the preps, and eventually the entire school. Or Mandy Wiles not so discreet crush on my brother? That too spread over to the entire school. He is well aware, and although is flattered he doesn't feel the same about her unfortunately for her.

Being smart, I kept it to myself at all times. I didn't even bother telling Ricky or Jimmy about this, and I trusted them with my entire life with all of my personal secrets. They were people I knew I could go to and trust. I didn't want my brother to find out, because if he knew someone had been sending me gifts- he wouldn't condone it and would kill the guy. Unlike me who found it flattering, he would take it as some creep trying to harass me.

His instincts just baffle me sometimes, but I guess I see his point.

So, Thursday, November 13th arrived, fresh and peaking through with gusts of wind. It was chilly, so I decided to zip my leather jacket over the burgundy colored dress I wore.

What? If I am meeting my secret admirer, might as well look nice right?

I brought the note with me, rereading through it. I borrowed Vance's cheap, dimestore watch and kept checking the time. 6:49. 6:50. 6:55. 6:58. I watched as time past by so quickly.

With a blink of my eyes, the watch struck seven, almost as if it was some fairytale, ripped from the plot of Cinderella. Here I was, standing pretty for fifteen minutes and feeling like I was fading. I awaited another ten minutes, and impatient, I had concluded that my secret admirer had stood me up. Perhaps it was a prep, thinking it would be all fun and games to jokingly arrange a meet up for me- the greaser princess who could tell my viscous, temperamental older brother that I was scammed of a date- and be beaten to by us, their rivalry clique. The smile that once lingered on my face that day was replaced with a grimacing frown, actually saddened by the fact he didn't show up. I swallowed my pride and disappointedly padded my way back to the girl's dorm on the dirt gravel behind the motel. Suddenly, a voice interrupted me.

"Wait."

His voice was soft and unrecognizable. It was relent, almost as if it could never be destroyed with pure anger. I had never heard his voice before, so it was indistinguishable who this person was. I turned around carefully, astonished to find a fellow classmate by the name of Tom Gurney standing before me. His buttoned up polo was loose at the top, only one being left unopened. How he managed to wear short sleeves and not freeze was beyond me.

"Don't leave." He attempted to convince me.

He approached me, shifting his footsteps towards me with caution. I couldn't help but take note at how his stance was a bit shy, almost as if he was hesitant to even make plans in the first place. When he made it closer to me, I offered him a small smile.

"You are my admirer?" I had asked him with amazement. He was a part of the Bullies clique and was friends with a couple of guys I had gone out on dates with. But they never pulled anything like this on me before.

"Uh.... yeah. I'm sure you were expecting someone better. I'm sorry about that." He apologized, feeling insecure. I shook my head negatively in response.

"Don't be sorry Tom. As a matter of fact, I am flattered." I responded simply, making him break out in a sly smile.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

We stared into each other's eyes for a moment. I couldn't stop staring at the bruise on his right eye, which made me feel so sympathetic and concerned. It had caused it to break into a small space in his brow, which made me ponder about his home life, or any fights he had involved himself in. Another thing about the Bullies was how they frequently participated in fights. I always saw one of them attempt to fight my brother or his friend's, but usually it never worked out. They were decent fighters, but all they did was punch, shove, or grapple then shove their opponents to the ground. The style never stood a chance against my clique, nor the preppies for that matter.

"I know we've never really had an encounter with each other til now, but I think you are the prettiest girl in school."

It was such a stereotypical thing for a guy to say. But hearing it from him, it sounded like he had actually meant it. Lola has never gotten involved with him, always going to Trent, Wade, or Davis to have a good time instead. I know occasionally I've spotted Angie and Christy holding hands or making out with Davis or Wade, but I never seen any of the other girls with Tom.

"You really think so?" I asked, grinning so cheekily and foolishly.

"Yeah, you are beautiful."

I blushed hard, but in the course of the night he couldn't notice. It wasn't so revealing, thankfully.

"That's so sweet, Tom. You know, you could of always just asked me out if you wanted to." I insisted. He nodded in response. I had came out with a muse that perhaps the reason he couldn't was because of Johnny. I was aware some of the boys were concerned about their asses getting kicked by Johnny or the others, and sometimes it was never a fully committed relationship because of it. Most of the time, he didn't approve the relationships I had. The boys were never condemned to be good enough for me, his sweet baby sister who deserved the whole world. He still thought of me as the innocent five year old girl he sought to take care of at the age of eight years old. I was like a daughter to him in a way.

"Good! Cause I was wondering if maybe... you wanted to go out camping with me and my friends in Bullworth Forrest this weekend? We could get to know each other better. If not, that's okay, I completely understand."

His offer was so sweet and caring. He was easily winning my heart at this point, being so considerate of my needs and wants. He was nothing like his friends, wanting to pick on others. They were sexually desperate for a girl to be with and get in her pants. This guy was different. He had a mature vibe, seemingly coming off as respectful towards girls.

"Sure, I would love to." I answered with a smile.

"Great!"

He informed me all of the things I needed to know- like where to meet, when I should arrive there, etc. It was on a Saturday morning I would meet him at the motel. Since I would be home that Saturday at me and Johnny's house, I have to sneak out. I needed to keep it secret from Johnny and the boys. If he knew I was going out camping with a bunch of guys, he would lose his freaking mind and act ballistic.

"Okay, sounds great."

"I'll walk you to the dorms, if-if you want." He offered shyly. I couldn't help but giggle at his reoccurring timidness. He was so cute! I felt so guilty I haven't taken a noticing to him prior to this.

I saw how he extended his hand out in front of him. So, I decided to take the initiative and accept it gracefully. I felt all tingly after colliding my hand with his, the way our fingers intertwined and laced with each other. His skin was surprisingly soft and gentle, just like his personality. He reminded me so much to that of a stuffed teddy bear, plush and cuddly.

The night walk home, all I wanted was to be with him, craving his presence. He never let go of my hand, and our eyes were locked in gaze. I declared that was the night I began to fall for the precious sweetheart, Tom Gurney.

#tom gurney #Bully oc #tom x oc #tom gurney x oc #selfshipedition #selfinsert #otp #bullyscholarshipedition #originalcharacter #cuties #johnny vincent #bullies

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sargenthouse · 7 years

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INTERVIEW WITH BLIS. // Bearded Gentleman Music

Ladies and gentlemen, I am announcing it here and now. My choice for album of the year is none other than the magnificent debut LP, No One Loves You from the Atlantian band Blis. This powerful and confident record released on Sargent House Records comes out swinging in full force following their buzz-inducing EP Starting Fires In My Parents House. With a familiar emo/post-hardcore sound and loud/soft dynamic, Blis. manages to take your familiarity with these attributes and make you feel like you are hearing them for the first time, while appreciating the nostalgia.

No One Loves You is an emotional listen from beginning to end.

Full article via Bearded Gentleman Music.

With frontman Aaron Gosset’s lyrics, touching on his past, the birth of his son, his issues with parents and partners, or his stance on religion. Sometimes all of the above, and all at once. Or even sonically. With dynamics ranging from subtle, melodic and subdued, to intense, crashing and angst ridden. This record is a heavy hitter and will weigh on you throughout the day.

Blis., consists of Gossett, drummer Jimi Ingman, and bassist Luke Jones. The band was formed and fleshed out over the course of the last five years to the current line-up we see on No One Loves You. On this record we see songs that were written and refined over the course of the last few years. Needless to say I was floored when I heard the final effort.

I was incredibly excited and fortunate to get the opportunity to ask Gossett a few questions regarding No One Loves You, and his personal experiences in creating this album, as well as a few other things.

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a data-cke-saved-href=&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;quot;http://blismusic.bandcamp.com/album/no-one-loves-you&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;quot; href=&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;quot;http://blismusic.bandcamp.com/album/no-one-loves-you&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;quot;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;No One Loves You by blis&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;

I’d like to personally start the interview by telling you that No One Loves You is easily my favorite record of the year so far. I have been waiting to hear what you had up your sleeves since Sargent House announced your signing. It is truly something else and just what I needed to hear at the moment, so thank you!

The lyrics on No One Loves You are pretty open and emotional. Between touching on things like your past with your father, your family and son, or religion and God. Is there any of those things that are a little more sacred to you personally, and a little harder to share?

There are definitely some topics on the record that I am uncomfortable to talk about but I try to practice transparency when doing interviews. I want the listeners to know what these songs are about and I believe it will bring them closer to the songs.

I was reading that you really feel that through the creation of this record you were really “tested by life.” Obviously, the writing and recording process can be an arduous one. Would you mind giving a little insight to what else may have added to this feeling?

I felt like my relationship with my son was in jeopardy the entire time that I was working on this record because the mother of my child was so obsessed with her faith that she allowed it to come between our relationship. We have a much better relationship now. I’d like to say I put the past behind me, but that would be a lie. It is a constant struggle day to day, but we try hard to make it work.

No One Loves You is such a captivating listen. The dynamics and range are so deep. Your previous EP, Starting Fires In My Parents House also shows the same, but it is definitely taken up many notches in the entirety of the new album. Did your sound always feature the soft/loud dynamic, or was it developed over time?

I think with this record we wanted to do something with more depth and more dynamics. There were moments where the lyrics permitted the music to be more vulnerable and quiet and there were other moments where the music needed to be chaotic to match what was being said. I think the soft/loud dynamic is something that we find endearing. It’s an aesthetic that is present in a lot of our main influences, so naturally our music was bound to take a turn in that direction.

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You’ve been quoted as having influences such add American Football, Pedro the Lion, as well as comparisons to Modest Mouse and Silversun Pickups. Are there any influences that we might be surprised to learn that the band draws from? Perhaps not a direct sound comparison, but even in any other light?

I would first off like to state that I’ve never been a fan of Silversun Pickups and it’s not because I don’t like them – it’s just because I’ve honestly never really listened to them. I don’t understand why we get that comparison so often- although I’m not offended by it. However, I find it funny that we get compared a band that I don’t think I’ve ever listened to in almost every form of press.

Honestly, one of my biggest influences is Nine Inch Nails. I don’t know if that’s made obvious through our music, but I definitely take a trip through their discography several times a year and go in and out of obsession with that band. It has shaped the way that I work on and write songs. I really appreciate Trent Reznor’s method of pre-production and I love the idea of adding several layers to something to make a huge and complex sound. When I listen to their records I always hear something new.

Tell us a little bit about how you came came to connect with Sargent House.

I was obsessed with Sargent House when I was in high school and listened to every band on the label. One day (out of the blue) Cathy sent us a message through our inbox on Facebook inquiring about our plans with our next release. I think I had a small heart attack. I have no idea how she found us, but I’m thankful she did.

If you could pick any two of your label-mates for a “dream tour” who would it be?

A world tour with Chelsea Wolfe and Emma Ruth Rundle. Maybe we could get Nine Inch Nails to headline.

What has been has been your most memorable tour and why?

We did our first full U.S. tour with our label mates Mylets and And So I Watch You From Afar a couple of years back. It was very educational in regards to what is expected of us if we want to be a professional band. We made a lot of silly mistakes on that run as well as a ton of great ones. I think we all took a lot of wisdom from the experience and feel much more prepared for the future because of it.

We’ve interviewed a few other bands from Atlanta, most saying great things about the music scene. We know it took a little bit of time to solidify a line-up and kind of find your place. What was your experience coming up in the scene? Were there any bands from out there that you look up to?

Honestly my experience with the Atlanta music scene was pretty harsh. I tried for a long time when I was just a solo act to get on local shows, but I always felt pretty ostracized from the music scene (if you ask me it’s because I don’t look the part). It wasn’t until a guy name Kyle Swick came along and gave me a chance that I was able to consider myself a part of this music scene. He was a promoter for a now deceased venue called The Wonder Root in East Atlanta. They hosted thousands of shows over the years, a few of which I was lucky to be a part of. Kyle was always great about getting people to come out to these shows and always picked the coolest bands. I appreciate him giving me a chance to play despite what I look like.

Okay, last question. If you were to only be able to listen to 3 albums for the rest of your life, what would they be? And why?

With Teeth by Nine Inch Nails / The Fragile by Nine Inch Nails / Me and all My Friends by Kelsi Grammar

All of these records have had a heavy influence on the way that I write and I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of listening to them.

Also I think a few honorable mentions would be Control by Pedro the Lion, The Cradle by Colour Revolt and Third Eye Blind’s Self-Titled.

#Sargent House #Blis #No One Loves You #Bearded Gentleman Music

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peach1337xo · 7 years

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Ooo wow I actually got tagged in one of these things! Thankyou @metatronmanticore! xo THE LAST: 1. Drink: Red cordial 2. Phone call: A lady from my employment services agency. She's cool. 3. Text message: Mum's coming over tomorrow morning to bring me some cold medication. Woot! 4. Song you listened to: Yellow Magic Orchestra - Loom 5. Time you cried: I was having a pretty shit time of it last week but I'm not sure if I actually *cried*.

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: A long period of yes/no/yes/no/yes, but does that really count? 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Oh like lots of times. Plenty. 8. Been cheated on: Oh yeah. 9. Lost someone special: Not in a death sense, but definitely in a they've gone away permanently sense. 10. Been depressed: Uhhhh...only for as long as I can remember? 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: This is basically my favourite thing to do. I need to stop that.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. Purple 13. Yellow 14. Green (I don’t actually know if these are my favourite colours because limiting a colour to a simple name like this is kind of redundant and not very expressive -- there’s all the shades and hues in the world that don’t have names -- but this’ll do for starters.)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Not really, but certain friendships have grown a lot more. 16. Fallen out of love: I fell out of love with an entire city. 17. Laughed until you cried: Oh ya. I try not to because otherwise my make-up runs and that shit stings. 18. Found out someone was talking about you: I don't think people talk about me. 19. Met someone who has changed you: Have I even met anyone new in the last year? 20. Found out who your friends are: Oh yeah. Definitely. 21. Kissed someone on your facebook list: Apart from the Euro-airkissies, just one. 22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: About 90%. There's a few Bemani heads from around the place I haven't met IRL. 23. Do you have any pets: No! And I'm devastated about it. Once I get my shit a bit more together I'll adopt a pupper. 24. Do you want to change your name: I did for the longest time, because it's so hard to find my name on shit. Also I have to spell it out so it gets written down the right way. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I had an eye injury so all my plans for a shit-hot 30th birthday went out the window. I hung out with Mum and Dad and ate chocolate cake though, and that was really nice. 26. What time did you wake up: Ummm, about 7.30am? 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I was asleep! Work today. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Things to get a little easier, for everybody. 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Uhhhh, shit I don't know! Couple of weeks ago? 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: You know what this is so don't even ask. 31. What are you listening right now: My own tinnitus and the clack of the keys beneath my fingies. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: AND NUMBER THREE IS NEVER SAY HIS NAME. (Who needs that sentimental bullshit anyway...) 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: The ongoing ritual of trying to escape poverty while mentally ill. 34. Most visited Website: Three-way tie between Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr. I just stay in a refresh loop of those three all day.

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME: 35. Mole/s: I have a few little ones on my arm and one on my back. 36. Mark/s: I have a birthmark on my ass, and one on my leg that looks like a ballet shoe en pointe. 37. Childhood dream: Wear a tailored suit, have a BMW, and have a mobile phone. 38. Hair Colour: The most boring shade of brown ever, and a bit of an auburny reddish brown on the bits that still have dye on them. 39. Long or short hair: Long hair. I wish I could cut it off for management's sake but I look shit with short hair. 40. Do you have a crush on someone: I have girly crushes on a lot of people. This Tumblr is mostly a collage of whichever hot celebrity I happen to have a crush on this week. 41. What do you like about yourself: I still pick myself up and give it a go after life routinely explodes in my face. 42. Piercings: Just my earlobes. 43. Bloodtype: No fucking clue haha. 44. Nickname: Some peoples used to call me Peach. Now I have a real name again and it's sad. 45. Relationship status: Spending a lot of time with someone spesh and going on monthly burger dates and going to record fairs and only ever watching Twin Peaks at the same time and sharing each other's clothes and going for drives and singing to Radiohead together, but it's not a relationship. I don't want to call myself single though because there's nowhere else I'd rather be. 46. Zodiac: Scorpio. 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favourite TV Show: Currently watching Twin Peaks, I'm Dying Up Here, Underbelly 49. Tattoos: Nothing yet. One planned. 50. Right or left hand: Right handed. 51. Surgery: Nah. I should have taken the opportunity to get my ears fixed though. I'm a total wingnut, but I don't want it done for cosmetic reasons anymore though. They just hurt after a few hours in headphones. 52. Hair dyed in different color: I'm not really into abnormal coloured hair, but I do put through a permanent box dye every now and then when I can be bothered. 53. Sport: Not an athlete, but avid sports watcher. Gimme soccer and basketball, mostly. 55. Vacation: I need to spend a good long stretch of time in New York City before I cark it. 56. Pair of trainers: Vans Authentics for me!

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: I just ate a pretty shithouse frozen pizza. That was disappointing. 58. Drinking: Still drinking red cordial. 59. I’m about to: Probably resume flicking through Tumblr for a while longer, and then perhaps get onto working on tomorrow night's radio show. Maybe. 61. Waiting for: My pay to go in so I can buy this wicked-cool faux leather jacket. 62. Want: A better damn pizza because that shit I just ate was disappointing! 63. Get married: Having a party and committing to the best person ever? That sounds like something I want to be a part of. But, only when everyone else can. 64. Career: I'd love to be able to do radio as a full-time paid gig because I like hiding alone in rooms and talking to myself. Also, on the radio no one ever has to know how shit at life you are. The ultimate image job.

WHICH IS BETTER: 65. Hugs or kisses: I can make out for days. I am a makey-outey person. 66. Lips or eyes: I guess if I like someone I'm always looking at their lips because I'm thinking about getting all makey-outey with them. (See #65) 67. Shorter or taller: I like someone I can get makey-outey with without too much effort. 68. Older or younger: The closer in age the better, and generally older than me because I'm old fashioned/ingrained misogyny or something. 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Gimme a set of arms that look great in a tight t-shirt. 71. Sensitive or loud: It's possible to be sensitive *and* loud. I mean, just look at me. I guess I prefer sensitivity though. 72. Hook up or relationship: Hooking up is evil and yet here I am been doing it for a whole year now. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Give me a bit of trouble, but I'm almost always the troublemaker. I need a bit of trouble so I know I'm not completely terrible when I do it.

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: Loooooads of times. 75. Drank hard liquor: DRINKIN' HARD STUFF. LISTEN TO THE RADIO. FULL BLAST! 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I lost a pair of Prada frames once. They were fucking expensive. I also look back and they were pretty fugly so good riddance I guess. 77. Turned someone down: Yeah. 78. Sex in the first date: I've had sex *before* the first date. 79. Broken someone’s heart: I'm sure I have. In fact, I know I have. 80. Had your heart broken: Ohhhh ya. Aw geez. 81. Been arrested: Not yet! I've done a TONNE of shit worthy of an arrest though. 82. Cried when someone died: Not anyone I've known personally, which is odd. Some of those big celebrity clangers get to me though. Especially the suicides. 83. Fallen for a friend: Several times. It almost always does not turn out well.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: I do! I just don't have many opportunities going for me right now where others can believe in me too. I'm in the business of generating those right now. 85. Miracles: Nah, more just sheer fuckin' luck. 86. Love at first sight: Not so much "love at first sight" but more of a "this person is going to be very important to you someday", because I definitely believe in that. 87. Santa Claus: Nah. I believe in Father Christmas. 88. Kiss on the first date: As I have already established, I am a big ol' fan of making out so yeah I normally go for it. Fuck it. 89. Angels: Sometimes, when I feel very very desperate and alone, I'll have a pray. No harm in it.

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: He knows who he is. 91. Eyecolour: Blue. 92. Favorite movie: Blade Runner, I think? Yeah. That's a pretty good one. I was supposed to tag people in this but I seriously can’t be arsed at the minute. I kind of picked at some old scabs writing this so I want to go back to flicking through Tumblr and stare at photos of Trent Reznor until I feel better.

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