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#i think ive done this meme before but idc
creatively-cosmic · 1 year
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heres my disaster of an expression meme i made for personal use! i uhhh dont care if you use it i don't care about credit whatever. go crazy (though if u use it n post it a tag might be cool.. 🥺)
heres an id bc it might be hard to see ig
[ID: A blank 4x5 square expression chart. Across the top row from left to right reads "Relaxed, Notable, Intense, Extreme" corresponding with four columns. Across the left side from top to bottom reads "Vocals, Tears, Teeth, Shaking, Silly Lookin'" corresponding with five rows. The first row of boxes reads "Talking, Laughing, Yelling, The Madness Takes Hold." The second row reads "Yawning/Tired, Happy Tears, Sobbing, 'You just killed a loved one and I'm not holding back anymore.'" The third row reads "Smiling, Grimacing, Snarling, HELL HATH NO FURY." The fourth row reads "Stimming, Anxious, Scared for their Life, About to Snap." The fifth row reads ":3 / :< / -_- / etc, TBH, Pog, Low Quality MSPaint Doodle."]
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wonderingduke · 1 year
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𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍.
— BASICS
NAME : Vinny/Vincent
PRONOUNS : any tbgh but people usually use he/they
ZODIAC SIGN : Libra but I was born at like the right time at night that Scorpio was also in the sky so I consider myself a cusp of the two
TAKEN OR SINGLE : taken but I am poly and pan!
— THREE FACTS
I've always loved dinosaurs and history ever since I was kid, I ate up those fact books on ancient histories and animals like nothing else mattered!
I was a practicing pagan for awhile but due to mental health and living situation I've had to put on hold but, I've been told the few times I've done tarot and oracle card readings for people they were well done and correct! Ive been told by a few that I have good natural talent for it KLHKLJH
For Spotify wrapped I've been in the top 1% for Mika and Orville peck I love these two a lot as well as the indie band Rare Americans. music fills me with so much joy and I love applying it to ocs and muses.
— EXPERIENCE
PLATFORMS USED : discord and tumblr I honestly don't have much experience rp I'm not like those people who have been doing it for years I mostly write and developed ocs and talk about events and headcannons for them mostly wasn't until the last five years I've picked up rping way more.
PLOTTING / WINGING IT / MEMES : I honestly don't mind whatever but I do love writing up replies for prompts and stuff it's a fun thing and I enjoy it.
—MUSE PREFERENCE
GENDER : mostly end up doing masc characters but it's not by much I have pretty much equal fem and masc muses
MULTI OR SINGLE : I do have a few single blogs but, my need to rp so many characters and such caused me to make a multi as well (current my most active single muse blogs are @wonderingduke and @hauntedmoonstone
LEAST FAVOURITE FACECLAIM(S) : Idc as long as it isn't like you know racist homophobic etc people from real life and shit.
— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT
FLUFF: I do like fluff but mostly for shorter rps there has to be a lil more than sickly sweet fluff for it to go on for a long time for me.
ANGST: LOVE it haven't rped it much but Im constantly thinking about it KLHKLJh
SMUT: IDK honestly I'll rp it I don't mind a lot of my muses are lowkey easy to get into that mood KJHJKLH but I haven't rped smut before other than with my boyfriend and an old close friend.
tagged by @imposingclaymore tagging: anyone who wants to do this I can't think of anyone right now who either a) hasn't done this yet or b) would actually do this KL;HJJKLh
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rickriordanfandam · 3 years
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opinions on riordanverse ; my edition
a lot of people have been doing this so i decided why not right. probably gna lose some followers or smth but anyways. pls respect my opinions! if u disagree, thats fine, but please be polite. unless any of my opinions strikes u as morally wrong then pls point it out to me respectfully. thanks!
- i actually liked drew. im so sorry to everyone who hates her but full offence, why. think about it this way ok, first of all drew became hc because silena died. silena was the traitor, the one who betrayed chb, yet after she died campers celebrated her as a hero? and then drew suddenly has to replace her and live up to idk that legacy she left behind,, when all of a sudden this girl named piper swoops in and takes her place. idk abt u but i wld be salty abt that too. not only that, but as an asian, the chances of drew having faced racism/bullying as a child is pretty high (she studies at brooklyn academy). which means that when she finds out shes a demigod, and arrives at chb where most of the campers are white (this is an assumption btw), she’d obviously be scared of being bullied for her skin color right?? so the first thing she wld do before the campers get to bully her is to bully them before they can do so. (sentence structure here is wack i apologize) ofc this might not even have happened, drew could have had a perfect childhood && was a b1tch for no reason, BUT EVEN THEN HER ROLE AS A BULLY WAS PRETTY VITAL BECAUSE THAT FURTHER SHOWED THE CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND PIPER,, HIGHLIGHTING PIPER AS A HERO//GOOD CHARACTER,, AND THEREFORE MAKING READERS LIKE PIPER MORE. anyway stop hating on drew please. ALSO WHY IS THIS SO LONGA SDFJHG
- jason isnt bland, the fandom just kinda erased his backstory (thanks to @pjohoo-memes for the phrasing lol)
- reynabeth wouldnt have lasted/would have broken up several times. idk i just see them as two extremely powerful characters who have firm opinions and will definitely clash at some point. in a platonic relationship,, i can see them as really good friends but as lovers? idk i just think theyll break up
- PIPABETH
- i dont really like jercy,, i see them as better friends than lovers. also idt jason and percy were that close..?
- the dam and not my type jokes are srsly cringey and were never funny. ik that seems hypocritical since my username literally makes use of the dam joke but honestly i dont actually like the joke. its not funny to me and has never been funny
- the seven were not best friends. they definitely argued,, and honestly probably werent as close as the fandom makes them seem. like ure dumped with 6 other people, out of which u only know a few. my introverted ass would have jumped off the argo 2 quicker than leo valdez could bomb camp jupiter up. also leo was a dick to frank. so what if frank is bigger sized?? thats not a valid reason to tease him
- the fandom needs to stop hating on octavian while worshipping luke. if u hate luke and u say u hate octavian too, then okay. but if u tell me ure a luke stan but u despise octavian?? imma disagree w u. luke was worse than octavian im sorry. first of all, octavian being a dick was kinda justified. hes been after the praetor position for so long, and everyone keeps saying to “wait for jason” when suddenly this dude, whos a son of NEPTUNE (neptune wasnt liked much by romans), and the camp decides to make him praetor?? dude i would be pissed off big time. and then afterwards, he finds out that greek demigods are real and the dude they made praetor is greek. AND THEN GREEK DEMIGODS COME TO CJ AND ONE OF THEM BOMB IT UP?? octavian has been told all his life that greeks are scum and this dude called leo valdez attacks cj. sure it was an accident, but did octavian know that? no. so it was honestly justified that he was such a salty prick im just saying. also some of yall be hating on octavian for cutting a teddy bear open and thats the funniest shit ive ever heard i swear 
- luke didnt go to elysium
- travis and connor stoll r way too underrated. the two have been head counselors of the hermes cabin since luke was revealed as a traitor, can u imagine the stress? luke, the person they probably looked up to as a brother, betrayed them. and they didnt even have time to process this when they were  thrown the roles of being hcs. that would have been so stressful and i would probably have broken down if i were them. the stoll brothers taking turns to wake up at ungodly hours because a new camper is crying and homesick and terrified, the stoll brothers having to comfort and take care of new campers, having to deal with the amount of people in that cramped space because not enough campers are being claimed fast enough. having to resolve issues between campers in the hermes cabin all the time. the stolls arent just comedic relief, and we need to stop treating them as such
- tratie shldve been canon idc idc
- demigods of the demeter cabin arent talked about enough and i love the fact that meg was demeters kid. like she isnt the child of one of the big three yet shes so powerful.
- we need to hype clarisse up more her character arc was phucking amazing 
- rachel is overhated. sis found out greek gods exist and regularly come down to earth to fuck around and went “ok cool”. queen shit behavior methinks
- the floor 19 crew of mcga is srsly underrated. like do u even remember halfborn gunderson, mallory keen, tj, etc??? bc i feel like we only remember samirah, magnus, alex, and sometimes blitz and hearthstone
- sadie (tkc) was kinda annoying at first. i like her more now tho but i rmb not liking her for a phat while
- tkc and mcga need more love
- carter kane and jason grace arent boring. theyre just really sweet boys who are too good for this world and yes yes yes 
- hazel and frank (especially frank) need to be hyped up more. i hardly ever see anything about them. also yall seem to forget that frank was literally made praetor and that even hecate admired hazel and was willing to fight beside her because of how powerful she was
- frazels age gap is kinda sketch but i still think theyre really cute
- nico definitely had trauma from going to tartarus on his own
- GROVER IS PERCYS BEST FRIEND
- annabeth isnt smarter than leo but neither is leo smarter than annabeth. ive seen a lot of discussions about who is smarter and heres my hot take on it: neither. theyre equally smart, just in different ways. leos a genius mathematically speaking. he has no issues solving math problems meant for people much, much older than him. annabeth on the otherhand, is great at strategies etc. she can make an army of 1000 more powerful than the enemy, even if theyre outnumbered. so in my opinion, both are equally as smart//u cant compare their intelligence, because their talents lie in two different areas.
- while i do agree rick riordan isnt a god and that hes bound to make mistakes,, AND that hes given us a lot of representation,, if the representation offends the people its sposed to represent, then theres a problem. im talking about piper as a poc and wearing feathers in her hair. im not a poc, so i cant speak for them on whether or not its wrong, because i dont know either. HOWEVER, i have seen multiple posts BY pocs talking about how they didnt really like rick’s representation of piper, and thats an issue. pocs have been and are still oppressed and discriminated against by many. as a white cis man, we cant really blame him for not knowing (tho he could have done a research,, asked some pocs,, idk), but by representing pocs in that manner, hes influencing impressionable kids/teens into thinking “oh pocs wear feathers in their hair all the time” etc, which isnt true. the pjo/hoo series is extremely successful, and kids who read the books will probably start forming inaccurate opinions on pocs. the amount of fan art that depicts piper with feathers in her hair dont help either. “but rick said so in the books, so its canon” yeah well rick isnt a god and he can get some things wrong at times. im not saying we should cancel him, im saying we should start educating ourselves and not spread false info like pocs wearing feathers in their hair all the time. also that snake song shit where she sang Summertime was just- yeah. bc heres the thing you can be racist, and still include minorities, but portray them in a racist way. And even then, ignorance isn't a thing to admire. Getting those facts wrong still has a major impact. It continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes.
“ With the feather thing, I looked it up myself; it takes less than five minutes to figure out that Cherokees don't braid feathers into their hair. I didn't grow up in the country where my parents are from. I have many other first/second generation American friends who have also been through that, with a bit of a disconnect from their culture. But something that most of us have in common is that when we didn't know something, and when our parents weren't that big of a help, we looked it up. We sought out resources online and through other people from our culture to be able to connect more with where we came from. Some of that took a Google search. So I find it hard to believe that Piper, a girl who Rick's trying to portray as someone who is attempting to connect with her culture and is totally against racist stereotypes, wouldn't know that eagle feathers aren't supposed to be braided into your hair casually. She may be disconnected from her culture, but she's also shown to want to connect back to it. Piper wouldn't be casually braiding feathers into her hair while also telling off people for being racist. It makes no sense.” - reddit thread (down below) 
for those of yall who wanna know more please please read this, it has a lot of things i wanna add in here : https://www.reddit.com/r/camphalfblood/comments/gy3gl2/piper_mcleans_portrayal_is_innacurate/ 
as well as https://finding-my-culture.tumblr.com/post/189422373260/maxie-ratties-and-cattie-finding-my-culture 
i will be posting screenshots of these in future posts so if ure viewing this on ig and u dont have tumblr,, dont worry 
- the fact that most of the strong female characters in the series refuse to be “girly”, and ngl i dont really like that. just because ure girly doesnt mean u cant be strong. 
- piper would have been a great way for him to start making the strong characters act girlier, but instead he went with the “I’m not like other girls” trope which is quite obnoxious to hear constantly, and I don’t think it’s necessarily great for younger girls to read that idea growing up.  the closest we've ever had to a strong female character who was also into "girly" things was Silena. when I was younger I admired Piper's "I'm not like other girls" thing, but then I got older and realized that the whole mentality of "not like other girls" is super obnoxious, and a little bit toxic
i have a heck load more that i cant rmb rn but yeah feel free to add more 
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sxdomy · 7 years
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1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? not @ all3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? tissues, napkins, sticky notes, random cuts of notebook paper4: how do you take your coffee/tea? two-four sugars w creamer or 1/2 n 1/2 (tea)5: are you self-conscious of your smile? not after i got braces6: do you keep plants? no7: do you name your plants? 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? idk the only art i do is in photography, and i try to do dark/spooky shit.. it doesnt have a meaning9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yes10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side 11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? i dont rly have a friends group, less drama that way12: what's your favorite planet? smth has always intrigued me abt mars13: what's something that made you smile today? lars (:14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? idc it's somewhere to live.. we can fix it up if we have the money. if so, i would prob have a bunch of shit everywhere lmao15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it says language programming ??16: what's your favorite pasta dish? some plain old penne/rigatoni w red gravy, but it has to be GOOD red gravy .. none of that ragu/preggo shit17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? black and it already is dyed that color, but i do want to experiment a bit and get few pieces red18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. JESUS.. these are endless... once i RLY had to pee, and i was @ school. it was after school hrs. my friend and i were waiting for the game to start. all the doors were locked up @ the school. i think they took out the portapotty from outside, so i said to my friend, "let's go to the lower field" (we have an upper and lower field idk what other schools have lmao) despite it saying there are cameras down there (which IK for sure bc i've seen the computer w the school cameras, and there are ones surveilling the fields), i peed. in 8th grade during lunch, this girl pissed me the fuck off. i can't remember what she did, but i picked up her sandwich and threw it to the ground.another time in 8th grade during gym, my friends and i were fooling around during a fitness walk (walk thru the trail surrounded by woods oooo). i was yelling "IN DA GREENZ" bc i was a rly weird kid, and now we bring it up whenever we see bushes. OKAY lasT memORYYY in 8th grade, i was on the soccer team. i sucked @ it... the ball was coming to me, and i tried to kick it. instead of kicking it, my foot went on top of the ball resulting in my fall19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? i used to keep a journal. last winter was the most recent journal i'd had, and my guidance counselor purchased it for me. i was going thru a rly hard time, and it was an outlet from that. after the winter ended, i never felt the need to write in it again.. it hasnt gotten that bad20: what's your favorite eye color? lars' eye color21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. 22: are you a morning person? depends... if my sleeping schedule is just like that, I LOVE WAKING UP IN THE MORNING. if i don't usually, then no fuck it lmao23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? literally nothing, but i do that when i have obligations... i get to it @ some point24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? lars25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? i've broken into my friend's house and my own. breaking into my friend's house wasn't rly that weird. i was out of it bc i had hardly gotten sleep the previous night. i also had permission lmao it wasn't as if i just went in. my friend had forgotten her key. breaking into my own house was actually bizarre ...26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? i usually wear my docs, but i switch out. before getting my docs, i wore my all black vans W LITERALLY EVERYTHING. the only time i wouldnt was when i wore a light outfit, which wasnt often bc 98% of the time i wear all black27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? i don't chew gum. it has aspartame, which is literally poison28: sunrise or sunset? i haven't seen a sunset since i was a child, and i want to definitely see it again29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? monty is my lover30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. socks are good. if you wear them in the cold months around the house, you are less susceptible to sickness. they also work well when you wear them w most shoes bc they prevent sweat. lars take notes (; i love wearing weird socks. i love socks. i usually never match socks bc no one will see them?? if i wear a black sock, i try to match w another black sock tho. i do sleep w socks in the cold months. otherwise, my feet would freeze. sometimes i wear multiple socks in the summer to keep my feet warm. i do wear white socks sometimes32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. i wasn't w my friends, but i found a drunken man in my rm after 3am on st. patricks day two yrs ago33: what's your fave pastry? cannoli34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i kept this one stuffed animal who was a girl. she had blonde braids, and i used to kiss her on the lips when no one was looking. i knew it was weird bc she wasn't real. i also used to pretend i was fucking her... it was a weird childhood. idk where she is now35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I LOVE PENS!!!! okay im going to sound like a weirdo.. i only love certain kinds. i hate cheap ass pens. my fav pens are the ones that u click on the bottom to get the tip bc the clicking helps me concentrate. it's also fun to just click it. i haven't used a clicky one in awhile bc i bought myself pentels. i love pentels as well bc they come in nice colors, and i rly like the cap for it. i like pens that come from certain companies bc it looks like i've been somewhere.. maybe i have? i've gotten free pens from places and some of them i just found w that lettering lmao 36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? nine inch nails (:37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? dont care as long as ik where everything is. my parents call it messy, but i call it my peace38: tell us about your pet peeves! i hate when ppl put things back where they don't belong. idk i dont keep track of this shit39: what color do you wear the most? black40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? none41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? 1984 by george orwell42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! starbucks LMAO43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? no one44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? the last time i was w lars45: do you trust your instincts a lot? yes46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. idk47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? high fructose corn syrup48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? idr what it was then, but now it's getting raped.. ive had this fear since i was 14 i think49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? i dont usually buy that shit50: what's an odd thing you collect? wristbands.. i like to say i've been places51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? lars , peach // the front bottoms52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? the yr just started, bUT I LOVE IAN'S (IDUBZZZZ) VIDEO OF "I HAVE CRIPPLING DEPRESSION"53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? i want to see rocky horror picture show. i've seen heathers, beetlejuice, and pulp fiction. i love heathers and beetlejuice. i didn't understand pulp fiction entirely, but that could be bc i was spammed by a gc while watching it54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? idk55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? idk56: what are some things you find endearing in people? smile57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? i never realized that this song sounds like five mini songs put together... i did reenact them in my head58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? nonexistent lol59: what's your favorite myth? black eyed children60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? anything from edgar allan poe61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? idk i hate getting gifts i'd rather give them, but i don't usually give them bc i never have money when it's time62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? ORANGE!63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? no64: what color is the sky where you are right now? grey65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? lars66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? idk67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? i have SAD soooo68: what's winter like where you live? FUCKING HORRIBLE, but it's worse in other places69: what are your favorite board games? ive been missing guess who? lately70: have you ever used a ouija board? no, but my math teacher says u have to make it from a certain wood and put a spell on it for it to work... too much work 😩71: what's your favorite kind of tea? lipton lemon!!!!!72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? i try to note everything down, but sometimes i can remember things w/o writing them down73: what are some of your worst habits? staying in bed for too long74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. bye75: tell us about your pets! i have a dog, and she's old af lmao i never rly liked her idk i hate dogs76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? homework and probably calling up my new job to see when i have to go in.. cant be arsed.. 77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? FANCLUB!!! (:79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?lars gave me cute cat headphones80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white.. i didn't choose it81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. i can't rn82: are/were you good in school? i made it into university, so i guess so83: what's some of your favorite album art? the devin n god are raging inside of me // brand new .. cant think of many in particular84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? one in remembrance of my friend who died and a full sleeve85: do you read comics? what are your faves? no86: do you like concept albums? which ones? YES YES YESSSS MANSON 'S CONCEPTS R SO GOOD (: 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? idk88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i just rly like frida kahlo89: are you close to your parents? no90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. i want to visit/live in philly so badly ):91: where do you plan on traveling this year? texas92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? i only put a little fresh mozz on it if there is quite a bit93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? i just wear my hair the same everyday94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? lars95: what are your plans for this weekend? none96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? omfg i had 20 or so awaiting updates last summer that i had to finally do bc it was fucking up my computer97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? what98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? i dont hike99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. NOBODY'S PERFECT BY HANNAH MONTANA100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 yrs into the future.. why would i want to relive the last 5 yrs of life ?? idk im just fine living w my past mistakes.. they've shaped me
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hattrixx-blog · 7 years
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Personal journal 13
It's been another week without thinking about killing myself so that's good, but I feel bad for saying this I hard slowly started getting over her like I still smile and feel better when she txts Me...i seen her Sunday...she said she missed me so much...hugging her made me so happy...after a few drinks her and Megan were dancing and megs called me over and I joined in so us three were dancing on the porch, she smiles at me and says "this is gonna be awkward" and jolts back so it's just me and Katie dancing for a second before I let go...they both went back to parting and drinking and I sat back down on the corner of the couch being a lonely quiet loser as per usual....they kept drinking, after long enough my friend Sara made me a drink and it calmed me down a touch I went out front and walked around the yard watching the party and games going on, I didn't see her for a out 20 min and when I came back to the porch we said "oh good I was worried you left" and it made me really happy she generally sounded and felt like she missed me...now I'm crying thinking about her again 4 hours before I start my new job...i got there to help megs set up and cook at 1, Katie got there at 6:30 as she was parking I pointed out to megs that she was here, we were walking down the path down to the yard to play some games, she stopped walking and looked at me and ask if I was ok with that...it broke me a little...what problem would I have with it...did she say something did she have a problem with me being there...did anyone??...with kayln and her mom/siblings they all accepted me into the family but with megs family as much as I love her and them tommy and the girls don't really seem to like me much idk I haven't done anything and I really want them to like me id like to be around for party's and random shit for years...i lost myself last time I seen her...i feel find now but...when tommy was putting megs and Katie to bed before I headed out Katie hugged me for like a solid 3 min just resting her head in my shoulder telling me she missed me while drunk in my arms, ;^/ i know they say drunk brings out the truth bug that was loving hug idc what it meant to her if it ment anything at all or she even remembers...i felt truly loved in that moment...i didn't think anything else in that moment, time stopped and I just hugged her tight and held her close...i love her and I don't know what to do about it...theres parts of me that just want to blow her phone up and talk to her 24/7 but I don't want to push her away I want her to know i feel the same if not stronger then i did two months ago...i think about her so much...me and kayln when to the mall and when to a goof party store and I was looking at all the little funny buttons with jokes/memes/ symbols and my first thought would be how much she would love them...ive thought about killing myself alot in the last 7 years and I've never found a real reason not to but now I have found so many of them lately...kaylns family...megs family...katie...my family all of them are my family I love them all...i want to make them proud and happy...i just fooled myself into believing that no one cares and I would be alone for ever...evrn if Katie doesn't love me the same way I do her I can tell she loves me in it's own way...i have them all to talk to anytime I need... if they texted me at 4 am and told me to come save them i would be there asap no matter what I'm doing....lets see who will pick up faster the next time I need someone
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i got myself tagged by @ilyatath​ and @fmlforeverwrites​ and its taken me so long to do this bc im trash but hye ho here i am!!!
rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people. yeah im not even gonna get close to 20 people and i have a feeling that some of you have already done this but oh well @asharadaynes​ @tooextremeforlouisiana​ @aaron-burrsir​ @kreacherwrites​ @kryptxns​ @opalcscent​ @beccabec876​ @mynameismelodypond​ and if any of y’all who ain’t tagged wanna do this then be my guest
the last
1. drink: strawberry and kiwi squash which honestly tastes a surprising amount like nondescript punch
2. phone call: i don’t make phone calls but i guess when my auntie called last week to check one of the boxes she was storing here??????
3. text message: last general message was to an rp partner this morning lmao bc i wanted to hurt her w ship inspo
4. song you listened to: lost boy by ruth b i think????
5. time you cried: months ago idk like it could legit be 2 or 18 months ago i have no idea
6. dated someone twice: u presume me to have dated someone once
7. kissed someone and regretted it: regret can be avoided if u never do the thing in the first place
8. been cheated on: u can’t get cheated on if u never dated in the first place
9. lost someone special: as long as ghosting on friends doesn’t count then this is a hard no
10. been depressed: yeaaaahhhhh the apathy’s still w me even outside of the severe episodes
11. gotten drunk and thrown up: surprisingly enough ive never actually reached this point before even beer olympics wasnt as dicey as id expected
3 favourite colours
12. dark reds (like burgundy, maroon or crimson)
13. black like my soul
14. idek black and red or my go to faves maybe dark purples/blues??????
in the last year have you
15. made new friends: yeah yeah yeah going to america kinda meant i had to lmao
16. fallen out of love: im gonna say no but this is a massive probably
17. laughed until you cried: i dont think so????? but idk maybe
18. found out someone was talking about you: nah i dont think so im too boring to be talked about
19. met someone who changed you: im gonna say yeah, im probs gonna say this a lot but going to america was hella good and it was p hard not to be changed by all the stuff over there
20. found out who your friends are: sorta yes sorta no idk let me be a cryptid in peace
21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: i. have. never. been. kissed.
general
22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them i think idk i should probs clear some of those dicks out
23. do you have any pets: unfortunately no but i want a fucking cat when im older
24. do you want to change your name: not really nah. it’s basic but its mine and i kinda like it but if u use the wrong form of my name for our friendship level then i will feel uncomfy
25. what did you do for your last birthday: packed up all my shit then chilled w my friends and played mario kart
26. what time did you wake up: around 9 i think???? i dont do well w remembering shit
27. what were you doing at midnight last night: im p sure i was sorting out my inventory in da:i, idk i was deffo doing inquisition shit then
28. name something you can’t wait for: the last jedi to come out. gimme fucking force sensitive finn!!! make jedistormpilot canon u cowards!!!!!
29. when was the last time you saw your mom: an hour or so ago. she’s around and hovering and i just want her to go
31. what are you listening to right now:  the goldbergs is on in the background rn but im not actively paying attention
32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i mean it felt like there were three dozen different toms back at school so yeah
33. something that is getting on your nerves: my parent’s constantly hanging around, the dread thought that my sister is coming home in around an week and i will get no peace
34. most visited website: this blue hellsite
35. hair colour: brown
36. long or short hair: it’s kinda long but it really doesn’t look like it lmao
37. do you have a crush on someone: not really?????? idk emotions are weird fucking things
38. what do you like about yourself: i mean i tend to refuse to back down on most things so i guess dedication is a way to make that sound positive??????
39. piercings: honestly i dont think i could ever get a piercing they weird me out for myself they say as they have a tattoo and are planning like half a dozen more
40. blood type: o+ which i guess is a pretty versatile type
41. nickname: no-one actually calls me this but my fave for me would just be d. the single letter by itself. and it absolutely has to be in lowercase people do also often call me dan and sometimes danny but none of them are at the right friend level and it is a Bad
42. relationship status: single as a pringle for 20 solitary years
43. zodiac: taurus. i was also born in the year of the ox so rip anyone who tries to argue w me
44. pronouns: they/them pls n thnx
45. favourite tv show: i watch like a million different shows and they are all trash but rn my fave is probs coach trip and i hate that most u have never seen it and dont know how much fun it is
46. tattoos: i got a geometric heart on my chest and im planning so many more pls message me about it so i can gush about it to someone
47. right or left handed: right like any good god-fearing person who is not influenced by the devil and witchcraft
48. surgery: ive never had surgery myself and i hope i never will (unless it’s for organ donation)
50. sport: i row, not well but to a vaguely competitive standard and i enjoy it even though my hands are llike permanently callused now
51. vacation: my last one was to boston for a week after the academic year ended but going to mexico over easter was gr9 too
52. pair of trainers: if we’re talking actual proper trainers then  ive only got one pair from decathlon but i do have some hella nice vans which i got for p cheap
GENERAL
53. eating: food is good. and not to be stereotypical but chicken is the best. esp rice and peas and chicken. also carbs. there is no such things as too much carbs. the media is lying to you
54. drinking: rum. it might be a bad thing that my first thought was to go to alcohol but idc im a mess
55. I’m about to: idk probs play some more inquisition
56. waiting for: my motivation to return from the war?????? to finish studying so i can move out of my parents’ house and steadily become the family’s queer cryptid
57. want: my parents to shut up and leave me alone. not gonna happen tho
58. get married: yes ofc i do im a fucking romantic mess bicth lemme indulge my fantasies
59. career: philosopher lmao. i get paid to sit around and bullshit all day what could be better
WHICH IS BETTER
60. hugs or kisses: ofc hugs are better lmao they’re just like !!!!! hug me all day idc
61. lips or eyes: eyes ofc, eyes are soft and pure. gimme those fucking eyes
62. shorter or taller: honestly i love me a good height difference either way but like ideally she’d be taller but im like 6′0 on a good day and i have to keep reminding myself that’s kinda tol so taller is unlikely rip me
63. older or younger: idgaf tbh but im amongst the youngest most of the places i go so younger would be nice i guess lmao
64. nice arms or nice stomach: umm idk both are nice and give good #aesthetics but i gotta agree w ilyatath and say goodlegs are the best plus good legs basically ensure a good ass
65. hookup or relationship: i told u im a fucking romantic gimme them sweet ass relationships. make me know that im special and important to u
66. troublemaker or hesitant: honestly hesitant but if my friends are causing trouble bet ur ass imma be there tagging along
HAVE YOU EVER:
67. kissed a stranger: im p sure y’all can guess the answer to this by now lmao
68. drank hard liquor: it’s not a real drink unless there’s liquor in it
69. lost glasses/contact lenses: one time i lost a pair of glasses the same day i got them
70. turned someone down: nah this has never happened to me
71. sex on the first date: ive never kissed someone, what else do u think i haven’t done.......
73. had your heart broken: yeah no this hasn’t happened. not properly anyway. like i said, feelings are weird
74. been arrested: it’s not a crime if u dont get caught
75. cried when someone died: nah ive never been close enough to anyone i knew who died
76. fallen for a friend: sorta yes sorta no im weird feelings are odd and my life is a mess
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
77. yourself: i wanna say yes but kinda no my self confidence also needs to return from war
78. miracles: i wanna say i do but im not sure the universe is a fundamentaly chaotic system so i guess weird shit deffo could happen
79. love at first sight: i think some people can get it but i doubt for me and most people will probs have to work for it
80. santa claus: nah that man’s a scam
81. kiss on the first date: if u wanna kiss on the first date then fucking do it!!!!! dont let life hold u back!! dont let ur dreams be memes!!!!! u take their face anfd fucking kiss it!!!!
82. angels: eeehhhhhhhhh probs not
OTHER:
84. eye colour: brown. kinda darker brown than my hair but still brown
85. favourite movie: Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) directed by Joe Russo and Anthony Russo
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