madeofbees

[madeofbees]

Your trauma was valid even if your abuser was abused in the same way themselves. They still chose not to break the cycle

#hi yes this is my favorite thing ever #abuse tw #trauma #ptsd #cptsd #actually cptsd #cptsd recovery #breaking the cycle #mental health

[madeofbees]

My subconscious does not think that much.

—my wife when I asked if she moved her arm because subconsciously she doesn’t want to be holding me or touching me anymore, as opposed to because she moved her arm because people move their arms

#our life #Su #things that help the trauma brain #affirmations #cptsd #living with cptsd #cptsd recovery #oh the ridiculocity

[madeofbees]

tumblr user @mustprotectmattcaseyatallcosts gets it

this blog has one official position on Chicago Fire and only one: Matt Casey.

#chicago fire #matt casey #mustprotectmattcaseyatallcosts #jesse spencer #one chicago #i would die for him #I would anything for him #he is the best man

[madeofbees]

i wrote an epilogue i have nothing to say for myself

#harry potter #severus snape #neville longbottom #sneville #sevnev #hp fanfic #my writing #bliss #it’s done #for real this time #my fifth novel good god

[madeofbees]

being a human is so hard i didn’t even get the choice to opt in or not, from here on out i will be living in the woods just outside of town and being a cryptid instead opt me tf in

#cryptid #cryptids #cryptidcore #humanity is dead #long live monsterity

[madeofbees]

can someone hire me as a lighthouse keeper. my grip on reality is soooo stable and i will behave so normally under conditions of extreme isolation. and i promise i wont try to fuck the light

#I make no promises about giant tentacled fish men though #lighthouses #the lighthouse #the shape of water #the kraken’s sacrifice

[madeofbees]

#sobbing #i can’t believe this #every single day #for the rest of my life #horrible #0/10 would not recommend

[madeofbees]

Odds for Why I’ll Walk Away from Chicago Fire Rewatch:

• Gabby Dawson - 1:1

• Herrmann’s Entrepreneurial Spirit - 1:2

• Nicki and the Parade of Lying Women - 1:3

• Pressure from One Chicago to watch the rest - 1:4

• Sylvie purposefully leading on my dear friends - 1:4

• Men Don’t Feel Pain We Risk Innocent Lives For Our Egos - 1:5

• The death of my dear friends - 1:6

#chicago fire #one chicago #gabby dawson #leslie shay #christopher herrmann #sylvie brett #hank voight #there are so many awful people #but on the other hand #you have #matt casey #wallace boden #joe cruz #brian zvonecek #mouch mcholland #it’s a mess honestly #but it’s the mess that I want so xD

[madeofbees]

Folks have got to understand that they probably aren't messed up by some Secret Big Trauma that they just can't remember; but rather by a million tiny microtraumas that they do mostly remember but don't even register as traumatic because nobody actually understood that these things would cause trauma, much less stack on each other over the years.

#cptsd #complex post traumatic stress disorder

[madeofbees]

the terrible boredom of insomnia

#insomnia #narcolepsy #if I have to be awake #I’d like to be able to use the extra time #but noooo #too tired for awake #too awake for sleep

[madeofbees]

I am no longer depressed, anxious, sad, unhappy, or any of that bullshit. I am engaged in a 24/7 full scale war against my brain who wants to kill me. Once again, I survived. Once again, I will fight another day. I will wage my wars with therapy and soft yarn and TV shows made of friends and yummy breakfast food and ice cream and cats. And one day, when my brain remembers it’s safe and it can put down its swords, I will welcome me home with open arms and unconditional love.

In the mean time, I will sleep, because apparently this war can only be waged at 5:30am :)))))))

#cptsd #actually cptsd #cptsd recovery #living with cptsd #bpd #borderline pd #depression #mdd #anxiety #panic #ocd #intrusive thoughts #it keeps me from blaming myself for the depression #no no #I am bitchslapping the depression with love and kindness #mental health

[madeofbees]

had a little photo shoot with Gracie ✨ ✨

#cats #kittens #tuxedo cat #cats playing #crazy kitty #idk how tags work #she’s simply the best #better than all the rest #Gracie #my cats

[madeofbees]

i’m staying up late bingeing horror movies because my migraine medicine works and for the first time in years i can do what i want and watch what i want when i want and that is nonstop horror day after day after day forever

#memantine #horror movies #horror marathon #i am so happy #i went through all five #insidious #movies in two days #oh gosh there have been so many i #m forgetting what else I watched #today: #keep watching #which was just a rip off of v/h/s does the purge #so now as a palette cleanser #the strangers #liv tyler #i’m dying #i love this death #she is so pretty #m3gan #that’s it #catching up on my #james wan

[madeofbees]

Nearly fifty years of being gay has taught Fidelman that it is a mistake to let certain statements pass unchallenged.

—You Are Released, Full Throttle, Joe Hill

#solidarity #idk how to tag this #it makes me so happy #fills me with joy #righteousness #social justice #human rights #i always say this #by not saying anything you’re giving tacit approval #saying it’s okay to say things like that #and it’s not #joe hill #full throttle #you are released #lgbtq community #stop aapi hate

[madeofbees]

If you ever need proof that something beautiful and magical can come from the darkest, cruelest places.

If you feel like there’s no hope for you because you were raised in a garbage dump.

If you feel like the world took your only chance at goodness before you even knew what good or bad meant.

Just remember that Mark Schwahn:

- told Craig Sheffer that he’d never kill him because he was based on his real brother

- screamed at 22y/o Sophia Bush for cutting her bangs because that’s how the cheerleaders at his high school wore their hair and they wouldn’t sleep with him

- he’s her lobster try he’s her Voldemort

- tormented Hilarie Burton until Moira Kelly told her “run” and saved her life

- that time when eighteen women who were cast and crew on OTH banded together and published a letter accusing him of sexual assault and harassment

- is responsible some of the strongest, longest-lasting friendships I’ve ever seen, because that’s what happens when one person tries to ruin everything and everyone: they banded together to survive, protect, and love each other, and to create something amazing despite, and maybe even to spite him

There is only one Tree Hill, and it does not belong to the monster whose name is splashed all over the title screens. It is our town, our school, our family, and we will always win over the Dan Scotts and Mark Schwahns of the world. They don’t get to spoil us. They don’t get to win.

We do, and we are beautiful.

#one tree hill #craig sheffer #hilarie burton #sophia bush #moira kelly #metoo #timesup #brooke davis #peyton sawyer #keith scott #dan scott #death of the author #not to mention everyone else #I’m still only at the end of s3 #ptsd #cptsd #actually cptsd #just cptsd things #hope #affirmations #look for the helpers

[madeofbees]

yip YIP yip YIP yip YIP yip YIP yip YIP yip YIP

UH HUH UH HUH

#yip yip #the yippies #sesame street #muppets #90s nostalgia #yip yip you #yip yip me #yip yip baby #yip yip family #uh huh #insomnia #this is what my brain does instead of sleep #late night thoughts #that was a joke #if it wasn’t clear

[madeofbees]

ageless - 2006 / 2019

#drew barrymore #she is so beautiful #has not aged a single day in her life #✨women✨