#i try to fill the days with stuff i do on my on bc there are no ppl do do sth with

[silenthillbunni]

._.

#no to be mean but sometimes i just dont have the energy to make myself like reply to ppl nd try to interact #continiously ppl block me bc i dont reply fast enough or etc etc #nd it's just like damn i tried just to get blocked???? 🥴🥴🥴 #also funny thing in my experience it's mostly girl mutuals who lose patience nd block me #hmmm inchresting 🧐 #anyway im wording this clumsily but like im just so exhausted nd my heart's tired #im tired of building some sort of light online attachment to someone #just to feel crushed when i notice they've blocked me nd i dont even know why??? #also wanna be clear that im referring to ppl i've talked to. not just interactions. sksks 🥴 #i know not everyone will block me nd i know there r nice ppl here but like i dont have the energy to sort thru it all #or take chances bc im tired 😭😭 #i feel bad bc there r ofc very kind ppl who reach out to me nd stuff but in my bones im dejected #like what if i actually do start talking nd i start feeling affinity to u nd slight healthy attachment nd then boom one day u block me??? #i feel mean nd oversensitive complaining abt this but idk 😣 #i liked this mutual nd talking to them but they blocked me nd idk whyyyy what did i do i always do smth y'all gotta fill out a form telling #maybe if i had irl friends i wouldnt care tho im aware im a loser

[akkivee]

i’m pretty sure the reason we got nagosaka’s second round of solos mimicking the og album art was bc kr was making a concerted effort to bridge the gap between the amount of music the ogs and nagosaka have lol

but those first solos for the og divisions were their beginnings as characters so maybe we can pretend round two solos for nagosaka is their true beginning lol

#vee queued to fill the void #both sasara and kuukou backslid in terms of development between the mcd era and 2nd drb #and i blame the true hypnosis mic lol #sasara while still a flighty sonuva btch opened himself up to samatoki in a way he should have with rosho (bc of his past with rosho) #and kuukou believe it or not lol would not be the type to trash an entire establishment and stay blind to his team’s needs back in the day #like kuukou is quite literally learning that lesson about not charging bullishly at others’ problems in both the unami chapter and nb track #and what does he do with jyushi and hitoya in harmonious cooperation???? charge bullishly at them assuming that’s all it’d take to help them #frfr both sasara and kuukou backslid lol #post 2nd drb tho???? with these solos????? where they’re fundamentally the same but show the lessons learned????? #these solos are their starting point ACTUALLY lol #which would make nagosaka’s first solos more representative of their pasts ngl!!!!!! #like those solos probably suit the nagosaka in the first manga run!!!!! #kuukou cocky as shit jyushi defined by his past hitoya’s finest rizz but heart hidden #sasara my life’s a tragic comedy let me run away to find a different outlook rosho trying to figure out how to stand on his own #rei the mastermind and that’s all you need to know lol it lines up very well #man!!!!!! that’s some good shit lol!!!!! this is the stuff that has kept me in hypmic for half a decade LMAO

[transmechanicus]

Your techpriest takes her mask off and looks like this, wyd?

#my stuff #my face #black hair #i went shopping yesterday to try and fill my wardrobe with casual stuff and i’m DELIGHTED that i can now be Just Some Girl #like i don’t WANT to be a fashionista every day #i DO want to be able to throw on a shirt and a skirt and call it a day #and now i CAN! at least a little! bc skinny jeans being 30 bucks HURTS on my budget #pixie cut #lesbian

[cinna-bunnie]

I've been hanging out with my manager so much lately !! i usually only talk to her virtually once a week, i am so energized.. i love her 😩

#every time we work together it's basically just hanging out n being productive at the same time #and we click v well :3 i feel like we have gotten closer!! she gave me some pointers bc I'm doing my first annual review in a few days #which I'm Very New to bc this is my first time being a manager fr 👉🏾👈🏾 wanna make sure i do it right bc my associate is v v appreciated #always idk she fills me with energy and even just talking to her virtually i feel like i can take on the world so i am living rn fe #fr #☝🏾😌 and I'm going back tomorrow. sometimes things being chaotically busy is good #we r setting up a new office together on short notice and it's gone surprisingly well so far considering it's the #first time I've ever brought a new building up (⁠￣⁠ヘ⁠￣⁠;⁠) things r looking v good and we're almost done. #but in the meantime it's mostly just us in the office and it's nice to spend time together 😇 i can never get enough of her #😹 when she's at my office in my city she'll be like oh sorry I'll try to wrap up quick‚ so i can have my desk back n stuff #and I'll be like oh no ur good there's no rush 0: i always love ur company. I'll just work right here (⁠✿ ‚‚⌒‿⌒‚‚) #*pulls up a second chair or sits on the floor* #she's a real peach ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა ♡⁠ #also she bought me lunch and i got us coffee today.. girl she brought me chicken satay !! 🤤 #I'm still p set.. more time for antics before needing to eat.. thank u sm (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠)

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#theres a special kind of agony in tryinf to find an apartment in an college town with a housing shortage #everythings expensive as fuck and im sure its frustrating for everyone but i feel like its especially frustrating for me #bc it takes me so much fucking time to understand the information right in front of me and then i doubt myself so i have to check and check #and double check and triple check that im on the right website. that im inputting the right info #and its like. what if theres a better place i could b looking? like i found a management place to apply to thats expensive but less #expensive than another place but the building looks like its kinda on the edge of town like 15min drive from school #which i hate bc im an anxious freak and its gonna b worse than driving here bc itll get icey as fuck there #like proper inches of snow all winter. negative negative cold. so its like. do i take a nice apartment thats kinda far away #or a slightly more expensive apartment thats like 10min from school and more in town #and then theres the application stuff. and i cant fill anything out without having a full on like sobbing breakdown #but im that way abt everything. i do that all the time when i have to buy plane tickets #its exhausting. and i cant plan my exit until i know when i can move into a place. whatever. it doesnt help that my hormones r fucked rn #or i hope its the hormones. ive been so tired. so so tired. like sleeping 9hrs and still tired when usually im wired after only 7hrs sleep #i hate it. and super brain foggy. and this week i have to finish taking measurements for the last time #so i gotta decide if im gonna go in tomorrow or Monday to start it. its gonna suck so bad bc im gonna try to do it in 6 days. which will b #agony. but after that ill never have to do it ever again. ugh. im just so tired and i dont wanna limp my way into a new project feeling #like damaged goods. which is exactly what it feels like now. ive just done a very good job of making my job difficult #cant go into the lab without feeling physically ill. drained away all my joy. now theres only a sad distant recognition of how far ive #allowed myself to fall. i kno ill feel better once i have a place to stay and i can quit my job just getting there is taking an eternity #unrelated

[pepprs]

beaver gnawing on wood noises

#purrs #delete later #this is gonna be a bad / hard post and i’ll have to delete it. like it feels like in making it im invoking cosmic forces to show me karma or #idk like being an ingrate or whatever. but sometimes i find myself on social media rabbitholes looking at instagram pages of.. women who #like really genuinely appear to be good moms to their kids. and love them for who they are and don’t try to make them anything different. #and who celebrate their quirks and stuff. and even share interests with them at the bare minimum. and it just makes me want to sob. like the #knot in my throat. i shouldn’t do it bc i just hurt myself but it’s like. im so lucky i have a mom and that she provides for me. and i know #there are valid reasons for that being all she can do. but also why can’t she… idk.why can’t she ummm love me. or celebrate me. or find #magic in me. or at the very least accept my humanness and be open to me like giving her feedback on stuff. even tonight at this panel this o #one woman was like yeah my two daughters call me on stuff and im like you’re right. if i called my mom on stuff (and i do) she would give me #the silent treatment (and she has) or eviscerate me (and she has). and people in my work life and on here call me endearing and say all #these things. but it’s like none of it can fill up the absolute aching pulsing void that is… my mom. my mom!!!!! is just a person i live #with anr resent most of the time. who has hurt me so badly. and i could have had a mom who like. let me sing and didn’t mock me for it. #and who came in and said goodnight to me and my sister instead of leaving us to o ur own devices because we’re twins and we had each other. #and 14 years ago today was the day that fully cemented in that she could not be that kind of mom and would never be. and i know she tried so #hard and i know she has been hurt and is still hurting. but i just want to scream. like everyone deserves a mom who loves them for who they #are and shit. and how fucking unfair is it that.. like it sounds so selfish and entitled. b it how fucking unfair is it that i got a mom who #im afraid of and then there are people like fucking… m*lissa err*co and sh*ron wh*atley (those are just the famous ones) who by all #appearances seem to be like.. not only loving but open. seeing their children as human and magic all at once. instead of a war prize and a #symbol of their own hardships or whatever. like it’s just so fucking unfair. i hate that this is the way things are for me and that it will #never change and that if it ever does i have to be the one to change it or i have to heal from it and let go of it. like FUCK that! i want #love from my mom! FUCK the fact that she can’t give it to me!!! she has to!!!!!! but she won’t. idk. delete post <3 #like so genuinely i should not be even typing these words bc god is gonna smite me now lol. but my heart is howling #and the shitty thing is i don’t think i’ll be able to be that kind of mom if i ever become one bc of how badly all of this has hurt me. and #bc of all that i don’t even think i want to become a mom anymore bc i don’t want to be the reason a child feels this way or grows up to.

[stinkrascal]

i am SO cold I AM SO COLD. my FINGERS. owwwwwwwwwwwwww

#its 48 degrees outsid 48 DEGREES???????? HOW #thats ummmmmm #thats 8 degrees celsius for the everyone else #why did america do that to us. like why did we have to be not like the other girls about fucking degrees thats so lame #anyways ow my fingers ow ow ow owwwwwwwwwwww #im trying to fill out renters applications but my fingers hurt too bad #i just wanna decorate my sim houses :( #im almost done w the vatore house #except i cant change the wallpaper bc it keeps deleting my clutter when i change it for some reason AHHHHHHHHHHH i hate it #so now they just have white walls which is so boring #everyone decorates their house so goth so im trying not to do that. but i dont want it to be boring either you know #NO WHITE WALLS #im gonna decorate vlads estate next its gonna be lots of red and blacks bc hes emo #i like to think the strauds still own that estate. they just moved whenever brie got pregnant w the triplets #because vlad knew they were gonna have a BIG family. so therefore they need a big house #so he built the home they live in now and decorated it to brie's tastes bc he loves his wife <333 #i know the strauds used to live in a different house before they started living in the one they live at now but stfu. im retconning #one day im gonna post pics of their home i just gotta finish decorating like 5 bedrooms #THERES SO MANY ROOMS IN THAT HOUSE ITS TOO MUCH but yes anyways. lots of stuff and things to do #kisses my ocs on tjhe lips #wow this post really went on a lot of tangents huh

[dreamyghostie]

.

#sigh #its all so empty rn #i try to fill the days with stuff i do on my on bc there are no ppl do do sth with #but that gets increasingly difficult and i cant concentrate on anything i do alone for long before it gets boring #its like im spinning around in empty circles in my own head #which makes me exhausted and full of unused energy at the same time #desperately needing social connection that fills my everyday life #or a real everyday life at all (: #this is definitely not the summer i thought of having #and the worst is that i have no idea how long it will stay like this #personal

[noxtivagus]

evening has come again huh

#🌙.vent #i'm really sorry for the vents lately but i need a way to let it out. & this. this is as far as i can go with that #i need to do better again i know i can i have to :') people waiting for me. others n me.... #last night i downloaded a game for my friend. for her. & then another friend i told her i'll reply before the day ends :< 'take your time' #she said but sob she opened up abt smth n i wna help i really do & fuck it just hurts too bcs i know the ppl around me are. struggling too #i try not to put others b4 myself if i'm struggling like rn but :< i hate the helplessness. wish i cld do smth more for you #i wish i could at least be enough to help them. for you for you whoever you are i would always be willing to make these sacrifices #i'm gna cry it's been so overwhelming lately bcs i'm filled with so much hope and despair simultaneously #what do i do? which do i choose? how do i decide? how am i supposed to do. enough. find a balance #n then other friends i haven't gotten to replying yet today bcs oh i'm too worn down right now n i hate it so much i'm sorry #& other than all the stuff i want to do for myself and for others there's also things like school n #it hurts you know? i'm very much aware i've been worrying my family lately. i can't. sleep properly. i can't bring myself to finish eating #:< n then it also gets overwhelming when i. look to better things. bcs it gen makes me v happy when. idk i feel inspired or creative or wtv #but it hurts when it's also simultaneously so overwhelming bcs it's so hard to do something with it #& thinking of good memories. how fleeting those moments were. how times have changed. but also of. of how more may come #but maybe. maybe only if i'm better. if i'm not this hollow husk of my usual self? fuck i know i'm too harsh on myself. unnecessary pressur #i'm more than it i know. but at times it's just so hard to feel better when i'm. 🥹 i really really don't want to be a disappointment. #for others n. for myself.... bcs i know as always in the future. wtf the fuck happens then. i do know that parts of me will never change. #wnvr i look into my past i'll always know that i deserved being more kind to myself. bcs i'm human too. #this empty feeling of being stuck somewhere being hope n my despair hurts v much bcs it's so contradicting & overwhelming #n i wish in these moments i cld be enough for my future self. n for those around me #i wish i was better at communicating! tell everyone i know how much i appreciate them! how much i wish they'd stay in my life #i wish i cld really just say but i'm afraid that my honesty might scare you away. so instead i hide. you probably don't feel the same nyway #crying it hurts i think past experiences have made me too used to people leaving. but i can't be vulnerable enough to be #soft enough to the extent of being so honest. i've been hurt before when i was kind n younger n naive sure but oh so innocent #struggling sad n it was so bad then that i. oh i remember how it hurt.... i refuse to let myself go through that extent of loneliness again #i wish though that. i could. revive my mind. my motivation my inspo my creativity hasn't exactly dulled but it's become more passive #am i afraid that if i really be myself then i'll be alone again? if i'm weird if i'm too honest n soft n. i don't know. #it hurts feeling like i'm stuck with being too little n too much at the same time. how do i. just be. enough. for you. for me. #it hurts i'm crying i'm sorry i'm so sorry fuck i'm so overwhelmed n lost i don't want to think right now it feels so empty n i'm tired

[pointsfortrying]

woe to feel nostalgia for a culture that had never been your own yet you had participated in for years,,,,,

#rye rambles #saw some photos of italy and mention of santa lucia.... #we'd leave out grains for her donkey once in elementary school the class set up a lil place for santa lucia #and the next day the grains were scattered on the floor bc of the teachers ofc but our tiny kids minds were blown!! #head in hands #italy had Several issues but god i miss miss the vibes #never rly got to explore the town i lived in (bla bla mental health stuff) and i regret it constantly! #my memory is So shot bc of repression etc but the few things i do remember that are good are just... holds gently #library and parks my beloveds #that one underground furniture store that had the Tiniest arm chair #the one store out of the way that only had 1 display window and it was filled with katanas #christmas market and also thursday(?) markets that guy who gave me an apple for free but i didnt like apples so i gave it to my sister #running around the fountain in the duomo and getting splashed by stray droplets #the pizzeria store and the food trucks that sold french fries #it rly just is that isnt it you'll always miss the things you don't have anymore #always regret not having cherished the good things more #and thats okay #i cherish the few positive memories i have and i try to cherish what i got now more as well even if its hard #sdfjklsdlk #ignore me i am just having Thoughts #been in a vibe recently contemplating just how #different my life is #things change #and its weird #but it doesnt have to be all bad #simply... thinks...

[racke7]

> Struggled to stay asleep bcs of back-pain. > (AKA, waking up a few times during the night, and every 5-10 minutes an hour before my alarm goes off) > *every single fucking day this week* > Woke up with a sore throat. > Hmm. > No fever. > Did morning-stuff. > Started coughing. > Hmm. > Still has back-pain, also a bit nauseous. > Tries to go through morning-routine for work. > Has no bread for making lunch-sandwiches. > ... > Fuck this. > Sends a message to my boss that I'm taking a sick-day.

#personal stuff #it was going to be a day filled with meetings and other easy things. so. not great. but also. fuck this. #(also. i think my back-pain might be from moving around during the day. instead of my spine trying to kill me. so that's new.) #i think my coworker actively stresses me the fuck out. bcs he agrees to ''do stuff'' and then wanders off not-doing it. #or actively making more work for me by doing it WRONG for seemingly no reason. #he's a second pair of hands. and i appreciate that when it comes to running around installing shit. but... yeah. #(obvs not helped by us having dead-lines to meet of getting shit ready for installation. and how we're struggling with that.) #and in a perfect anti-capitalistic world. maybe i wouldn't care about results. but that's not how my brain works.

[bunnyb34r]

Holy shit my fatigue is so bad today. Like I'm not "I need a nap ASAP" tired (I mean I could nap) but "holy shit I cannot be upright any longer I'm fucking exhausted" tired

Honestly suprised I was able to shower okay, but I did kinda have to hype myself up to do it :/

This shit sucks so bad... I miss having energy... I miss not feeling like shit every day

I haven't felt "healthy"* since I was 12. I think puberty was when my nervous system was like "oh so we're like permanently gonna be this stressed... oh" and just gave out bc that's when my cfs started. Never stood a chance

*I mean I didn't ever feel like a normal healthy child, but I felt a hell of a lot closer to healthy than now

#marquilla #is it the long covid? is it long covid part iii? is it 'It's March™️' (worst time of the year stress wise) is it bc my ptsd has been #triggered and shit the past week and my body is tired of that shit? am i sick? is it work stress? who knows!! (: #i was busting ass at work today bc i recovered like 1/4 my area then focused on labeling my boxes for inventory bc i only have THIS WEEK #to do it as far as i know (i think it starts when we get back from break) so im hauling ass trying to get my boxes counted and pulled #forward with nothing behind each other (except for my to be liquidated stuff bc i have several boxes...) and ive been throwing my spare #boxes away to avoid getting yelled at bc we technically shouldnt have that shit... and ive been kinda dumping clearance shit on the table #sgdggdd like i semi recovered it first but its $3 theyre gonna be destroyed anyway #i have about 2/3 of the second half to go still (first half is all done except clearance and NikeShitë bc tiny boxes...) so idk #and im worried ab everything going to liquidation when im on break bc like thats gonna be empty space on the table that i doubt anyone will #fill bc 'thats too haaaard [childrens]' but idk i just dont know #im just so stressed and tired i might go to the movies Tuesday bc Oppenheimer is back in theaters bc it won Oscars and I think ill go on #discount day so it's only $6 and ill see what the hype was ab but im skeptical of it being good tbh #anyways im fucking tired and i hate it

[gemharvest]

Anyways also feeling kinda down that I haven't worked on owed in a bit & that today I was supposed to start back up but kinda. Didn't get anything done.

Just kinda really feeling drained lately and idk how much of this is because I just got done with being sick/ being on my period back-to-back and whatnot and I really want to be creative but then when I try everything Just Sucks. I'm very thankful I didn't have to go in this past Wednesday, and that I do not work again until next Wednesday as long as I am not called off then too (or as long as the other kennel person doesn't need covered ig), because maybe it'll give me the time to get my energy back without having to worry about doing shit.

#ramblings #were getting closer and closer to the end of the year and like. #idk i just do not feel like ive been doing anything #ive been doing stuff but its not what i wanted it to be like. my mom and i still havent worked out taking comms #so i still have not been able to take any and i dont think we will be able to work this shit out until after the holidays #idk. someones over tonight so i dont wanna bother but i might try talking to her abt it. to see if we can at least work out a day #when we can get things sorted out. because i really want to take commissions so i can have more income than a part-time job #<- without having to take on a second job/ quit the job i have now for a fulltime one #also as we get closer to a new year im filled with dread abt having to do college. even if i just do online classes i wont lie to you ive #liked the freedom ive had not dealing with school. i know i need some kinda education so i can try and find a reliable job #but its just. the last time i was in school it got me to a really bad place mentally and i just dont wanna deal with that again #sorry. i just wanna think out loud abt this stuff rn i guess #havent rlly talked abt this with anyone. theres only so much my friends can do bc the majority of them i can only talk to online #and idk how well my family would understand. especially my parents. without scolding me for like. loathing school and shit

[exopelagic]

just take this

#I know I’m posting a lot like this recently but #I’m just so fucking tired #I tried so hard at the start of this term to make sure I wouldn’t be struggling like I normally do and then stuff happens #and my shit gets moved around in ways that are out of my control and I’m in hell again #and I just like. even when things are good at the end of the day I’m pretty consistently kinda sad #is this the fucking winter I swear to god #I think it probably comes down to the fact that I have a truly ridiculous amount to think abt rn and it’s so hard to keep track of it all #and there’s always something immediate that I need to do alongside multiple long term things which I’m chipping away at but are always there #like immediately I have two presentations to write #and less immediately I have 6 lectures to catch up on. I gotta watch two before Monday #presentations and ideally some lectures by Thursday #and then on top of that there’s the coursework we just got given that I need to think about within the next few weeks #an essay Tuesday after next #figuring out a project area which means at least 3 more meetings. ideally more #also within the next 2-3 weeks bc otherwise I won’t have time #and then on top of that hockey is starting to feel like a job. #between mounting admin I’ve been trying to keep on top of and neglecting my degree and it being so busy and having to fill in for people #who are missing #and then the new skates are better but have their own issues and the laces fucking kill my hands #I need to find time to just go to a free skate sometime but that’s not happening until the new year :/ #bc I’m going home immediately after term ends bc my sister is doing a performing thing that I need to be home for to watch the dogs #so my mum can go #and then like. constantly getting new drama that **I** have to deal with for some reason bc this one girl has decided I’ve betrayed her #a ‘massive fucking betrayal’ apparently even though I barely know her and I had no idea what was going on with her #and then. the whole fucking situation with The Guy #and god this different guy after hockey tonight when we were cleaning up was complaining and made a dumb joke and I made a dumb joke #and it was. dumb. and he was like hey luke is everything okay with your degree bc you’ve been more and more tired every time I see you #and he was taking the piss but he’s Right #luke.txt

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#im back in my apartment. and im rather sick. just a cold but like woke up feeling ok and then over the course of thr 12hr travel day #i was increasingly feeling worse and now im like 😵‍💫 its probably worse bc 7hr jet lag and my hormones r fucked #so im a bit recked. im supposed to go instruct undergrads tomorrow doing a procedure that fills me with rage even when i dont feel terrible #well see how awful i feel in the morning. i also have v lil food here bc ive been gone so long ugh #so much i gotta do. and do i feel better than when i left? not especially. i still wanna fucking quit working here. my dad is like #prioritize ur stuff bc u gotta move in 2 months and hes right but its gonna b real hard to stick to that #ugh. i feel so awful. i dont wanna work tomorrow. #i also watched that salin4 gomez doc on her brain stuff and it made me cry. and i was like weeping as i drove back from the airport bc a #lotta thimgs. but whatever itll b a 3 day weekend and im gonna try to b better abt doing as lil work as i can manage #so i dont like die. ya kno. but whatever. 2 months left. then i move. the process of getting #permits for sampling has already begun. ill b outta the desert soooooon. the light is there #unrelated

[be-good-to-bugs]

never again would i like to work on Halloween

#the bin #halloween is for spending alone or for getting absolutely wrecked and being qround a bunch of people #NOT for spending at work doing work being at work stamding at work walking around all day at work doing work at work #but hey. at least it was a very slow tuesday bc everyone was busy with halloween. so ill only have 1 tuesday left #looking forward to starting my new job. i actually kinda really enjoy customer service. i love interacting with people for short time #ofc people can be mean and bad but i can deal with that just fine. i get so much out of short nice interactions and those are discouraged #where i work now. i try to be nice and have friendly interactions as much as i can because its nice but overall my experience is just around #people but not interacting with them otehr than to ask them to please move. when i do interact with people im so nice and helpful and i like #doing it but its kinda bleh. idk. i know im prob gonna hate this job a lot of the time too but id like something different. #and honestly i think itll be good for me. my social anxiety and ability to interact with people is so much better than it was before #and like. it happened so shortly after starting this job. i had to do things so i did and now i know its ok. i have a better understanding #of how people behave and react to how i am and all that stuff. and i think itd be nice to be in an environment where i can be kinda jokey #im a silly person but i think ive cracked maybe 2 jokes total while working at this place for almost 6 months #i make like 12 jokes a day at least when i interact with other people. when i talk or tjink about stuff i just make jokes constantly #but i.dont feel like i can do that at this job. the people are nice but its just a different environment and my type of humor and #personality doesnt mesh well if im joking. i work well there but its kinda bleh for me #but my managers were very nice about my giving my 2 weeks so. and perfect timing because tomorrow im training someone #new to start the same job as me to help out. woulve been doing it anyway and theyd be tehre to fill in when im out suck but instead i #think theyll just replace me so it works out. and i like teaching peope how to do my job :> #me rambling abt my life. nobody cares to read this lol. its not matter. these posts are boring but it feels nice to post stuff like it #makes me feel less isolated even of nobody sees it. different from thping it into a private notes app #idk. i need to talk to people more