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cupcraft · 2 years

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Wasn't sure where to send this without it just being my closest friends, and I don't have any public social media so I'm going to put it here to just get it off my chest, feel free to delete this or not respond. But while following the whole Dream situation currently, the lengths some people have gone through to defend Dream and to weaponize traumatic experiences just to defend their favorite cc instead of accepting the most likely truth is so scary, and so so sickening. It's left me and some of my friends, all of us victims of grooming & CSA (including the dreaded r word), (albiet not Dream's victims, so I can't imagine how fucked up the victims themselves feel) shaking because of the whole precedent set of "believe all victims unless the abuser is someone we like/love and in that circumstance we'll pick apart everything and dissect your trauma infront of millions of people so we can call you a liar and an attention whore" ...

it's incredibly fucked up to see and while these people have chosen that stance of hyper-analysing solid proof for anything, even picking at the victim's reasonable emotional responses to such a situation, has left the "real victims of this genre of abuse" that they "defend" so violently terrified of speaking up, ever, even if it's not about Dream. I feel bad for the victims, if it was enough to make me and other victims who are removed from the situation scared and trembling, I can't imagine how bad it is for them. Not even mentioning how the legal justice system is so heavily skewered against SA victims that, even if it does go to court, the victims are more likely to be proven "wrong" and Dream will get off scot free.

Idk. Just wanted to get some brewing strong emotions out somewhere, feel free to delete or ignore this, I'd understand fully :) everyone please remember to do something unrelated to ccs that you love and find comforting, drink some water, eat some fruits and/or veggies, etc.

hey anon i did want to post and respond to this and just want to say thank you for sharing this with me that is not easy by any means and im so fucking sorry that happened to you and your friends. if this was not okay to respond to pls send me another anon and ill delete it. imma turn rbs off on this for now just to be safe.

thats why right now our rhetoric (not yours i mean the fandoms) is so fucking important. because the hyperfocus and analyzing Amanda and judging her emotional response because she doesnt fit what they think a victim of dream's should look like is abhorrent and it does shit like this, which is so traumitizing and awful for ppl like you and anyone else who has experiences with abuse/grooming/etc. I dont speak much about my own experiences and they are not the same by any means, but even i have been a bit triggered by this rhetoric bc of some things ive experienced in similar topics (i dont want to vent esp after you shared you experience so ill be vague).

I havent seen it on my dash but i have seen it on twitter and stuff especially. Be so careful how you talk about people who come forward about grooming/abuse/etc. Be careful how you scrutinize victims. because it has real fucking impact.

and as this lovely anon said please find comfort today and take care of yourselves srsly. even log off for a week if you need to. my heart is going out to everyone, especially amanda and any other victims.

Thanks again for this ask <3

#ask #tea.cups #dream situation #tw sa #tw rape #tw grooming #ask to tag

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xxxtoony-brosxxx · 3 years

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Ngl I feel so bad rn

Tw vent

Like I feel like the worst person alive bc rn I took the iPod from my sis bc we had an argument since I paid the most for it anyways and bc I wouldn’t give it back she hit me and I hit back to get her off of me

Like wtf is wrong with me!? I shouldn’t have hurt her, it’s hurts bc it makes me feel like I’m just like my abusers. And I feel so so bad that I did that, and then all I could think abt was how evil I am as a person that that stupid iPod is more loveable than me how she was willing to hurt me for it, my chin, lip, and elbow still hurt from it and I feel as if I deserved it.

I had all these overwhelming feelings abt what I did and how I only proved my family right, that I’m a wicked, cruel, evil, unworthy of love, fucking disappointment.

Idk why I can’t be good enough I always fuck up, I only hurt ppl, y tf can’t my fam love me, why do they all hate me, I can try my best but it’s never good enough and they tell me all the time how bad I am and it hurts, why tf am I so unlovable to them? What did I do wrong!! I think abt it and ever since I was a little kid my family hated me, I’m sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry I’m a screw up, I’m sorry I was born, I’m sorry I’m alive, I’m sorry I fucking exist!!!!

A lot of thoughts came rushing in, my head hurts from it all, my eyes burn from crying for two hours feeling like I deserve to die.

My head is shrieking for me to self harm and kill myself

I had to rub my wrist roughly to keep myself from attempting to do so as I sobbed and trembled from the fucking horrible being that I am.

I wanted it to stop, all the pain, but it just kept coming until I just held my throat to imagine suffocating to make it end, I hate how it made me feel better to imagine dieing to escape the pain but I just wanted it to stop so bad I didn’t know what to do.

I feel numb and disappointed and disgusted in myself I wish I was good enough I wish I could feel like a good person, I wish I wasn’t bad, I wish I was loveable to my family, but Ig I’ll never be.

I say I want to be loved by my fam bc I was raised that if u hurt ur fam even if they hurt u ur a evil person and now, I believe it. I just wish they could love me like I love them. I feel like im drowning myself for them, I hate this fake disguise that I wear for them, the smile, the laugh, the kindness even after I’ve been beaten and told awful things that I can’t help but feel I deserve. I’ve grown tired of trying to be strong and hopeful, even if I don’t feel any hope left.

I wanna give up so bad sometimes, but I hold on. Not bc of someone or something but bc I’m scared of being judged after death. Like I’ve been judged all my life and my fam claims it’s selfish, evil, idiotic, and weak of someone to do so, I’m afraid I’ll have to hear the judgment spread like wildfire in my family, I don’t want those words to be my legacy and how I’m remembered, so I force myself to push even tho I’m drowning in a sea of sorrow where happiness is always in sight but always out of my reach as I’m chained to the wait of my burdens and pulled deeper every time I try to fight my demons, my chest burns with emotions that I can’t show.

Bc if they see, I’ll be judged, mocked, criticized, and beaten for daring not to be happy. I feel like a fuckin stranger in my own home, I can’t even look in the mirror without hating myself, I’m sick of being me I’m sick and tired of living, idk how much more I can take, but I promise to everything I am and everyone that I won’t kill myself even tho I want to. I’m sorry for everything, I’m so so sorry, and I’m so so tired of fighting. That hope of being happy has faded to a single lit ember and I hold onto it for dear life but it’s really hard for me to keep the light from fading I’m really trying I promise. It’s just too much- 💔

#toony talks #vent #tw vent #tw suicidal thoughts #tw suicide mention #tw self harm #tw self harm mention

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pepprs · 5 years

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[DONT RB] ok so there’s no way for me to talk abt this that isn’t gonna make me look like an absolute dumbass but im in the middle of a creative existential crisis and i rly need help figuring it out :•( this is gonna get SUPER LONG so im putting it under a readmore. thank u to anyone who reads this!!! and double thank u to anyone who can give some input / advice, i rly rly appreciate it. im sorry abt the length!

aight so for some background.... ive been drawing n writing poetry for abt 5 yrs now and both of those things r rly important to me. in school im an english major w a creative writing minor (for the poetry) and i work as a graphic designer (for the art) so ive been growing a lot as an artist and writer esp in the past 2 yrs and im kinda workin towards one or the other (or ideally both somehow!) as a career. one of the biggest dreams ive had since i started seriously pursuing both of these hobbies 5 yrs ago is to publish a book of poetry that i design / illustrate myself, and also to have a portfolio online where ppl can read all of my poetry and see all of my artwork (both professional / work stuff but also archives of all of my sketchbooks since those r rly important to me!!!) and maybe even make some sort of online shop where ppl can buy my art (stickers, keychains, etc!) and my poetry books!

that sounds pretty simple right? WRONG!!!!!! why? bc im a fucking idiot! and there are several dumb things i do that make this dream completely impossible for me to achieve! love that for me!

so for starters... ive been posting (almost) all of my art and ALL of my poetry online for all 5 yrs ive been creating it. that’s bad because:

ive hardly ever used my real name (which i would want to use for the book / shop / portfolio), it’s been under my usernames / aliases that go along w them (p*pe, pep, pea, etc and related usernames that shall not be mentioned) and i started going by my real first name only abt a yr ago, but still maintain those usernames for the most part in conjunction w my real name

my work has been primarily been posted to d*viantart and tumblr which aren’t exactly the most uh... professional places to do that. not that there rly are many i guess lmao but still

my online persona on these platforms is rly like. lax and loose which is Cool And Quirky when brought into a professional setting if it’s done right i guess.... but im just immature and unprofessional. i swear all the time, i shitpost constantly, im incessantly tmi? and that’s not even it like it’s just a whole mess!

SO there’s that whole set of problems and like im just concerned because... i stopped posting art online last yr for the most part and a lot of the old stuff that’s on dA (since that was rly where i did it most) is bad and not worth sharing like that anyways, so im not as worried abt that. but my poetry.... i still actively post that online in all my messiness and candidness here and like. it’s rly not that hard to find me? like if u copy a poem of mine and put it in google it’ll pull up my dA right away! and that’s like.... GOD i just am embarrassed for anyone irl to see that or for that to be connected with my irl / professional self in the future, but i don’t want to stop posting my work there (or here!!!!!) bc the community is so supportive and ive made some rly good connections / built a lot of traction over the 5 yrs ive been doing it. (PLUS for the online portfolio i wanna do specifically... i kinda want to post all of my art and poetry there, like everything ive ever done (specifically poetry, ive written almost 500 poems over the 5 yrs ive been doing it!), but i feel like that’s not rly the most professional thing to do and idk how to even gauge whether it is or not :-/)

but that’s not all!!!! because there’s another part to this and that is: the very nature of the content i produce is Not Good! for my art it’s not as much of a problem bc since I work as an artist rn a lot of what i make is professional, but for my personal art... a lot of that is either self portraits or my characters and a lot of my characters are like. animals. like specifically pepe (who is basically Me As A Cat).... i draw her constantly and so much of my best work is of her but it’s just like? embarrassing i guess for my ocs to take up so much of my portfolio and sketchbooks and stuff and share that. like i know everyone has characters and it’s not bad to do that and share that but i feel like ppl will judge me :-( so it’s made me rly hesitant to post stuff to my art ig for example bc i just don’t fucking know how to act, like it’s bad enough that i can’t type the way i want to and i have to type in proper caps n whatever instead bc irls i don’t know / trust as well follow me (including some ppl from work? Yikes?)....... but i feel like i can’t share my sketchbook stuff for example bc it’s all cats and my characters and visual shitposts and im uncomfy to share that bc like... im almost 20 and i don’t want ppl to think im immature or whatever? i kno i should feel like it’s my account and i can post wot i want but like. i fucking can’t bro i just can’t!!

and THEN.... my poetry. that’s the biggie bc like for my art? even tho im uncomfortable i don’t mind sharing that w ppl i know irl but for my POETRY.... it’s very easy to find like where i share that i guess? (the google thing i mentioned earlier but also its linked to my art on here and dA too... f) but i literally never actively share my writing w irl ppl unless im performing @ an open mic or workshopping in class bc im fucking terrified of the possibility of irl ppl finding my poetry. it’s almost ironic how public ive been w it online but how private i am abt it irl... it’s like im living a double life and it’s fucking terrible but it’s the only way i feel safe. bc like art is what i do for other ppl and also to destress and vent when i need a quick fix on my own time. but poetry.... that’s personal, it’s where i feel most like myself, it’s how i talk abt my life and ppl in it and make meaning of things and talk abt things authentically and Get Deep. and my literal worst nightmare is for ppl (who have the explicit ability to by virtue of Knowing Me) to read into it and Understand what im talking abt and have that power over me and see me differently for feeling the way i do or doing what i do. ive actually already been burned by this before after my mom read some work of mine that had been published irl (i don’t want to get too into it but basically i retroactively outed myself thru her reading that poem for what it was and it was Very Very Bad) and as paranoid abt it as i was before, it’s even worse now that it’s actually happened to me and could happen again at any time, esp if i decide to take my work further.

that manifests in a few ways too, like my writing is so cryptic and vague and very heavy on metaphors / symbolism and shit partially out of that deep fear and need to shield myself and my work. sometimes in spaces where i do feel comfy sharing, ppl have a hard time understanding my poetry unless i give context. online and on stage and in workshop ppl don’t rly know me outside of a context where the only thing we have in common is self expression thru poetry, so i don’t rly mind sharing more when it’s appropriate. but if i were to share my work as a book or w/e, ppl im close to (who maybe don’t always think like a poet / artist does bc they aren’t that) would want to buy it and read it and might ask abt what it means and i don’t even know what i would do in that situation. and if ppl were to read my work and see themselves / others in it, whether it is abt them or not, im scared it could genuinely damage relationships like it did with my mom.

SO UH.... idk where im going w this rly, i kno it’s long and rambly and melodramatic and im probably overthinking it and making a mountain out of a molehill and nobody even knows / cares abt me AND my work @ the same time enough to read That Deep into it. but it just fucking sucks that im so uncomfortable and insecure that i can’t comfortably fulfill literally the one single long term goal / life dream that i have. andthe thing that sucks is i can’t talk to Anybody abt this except like... my sister and brother bc they’re the only ppl i genuinely tell everything to, but they don’t have the knowledge and expertise abt art / poetry that like... my poetry prof does, for example. and my poetry prof is one of the best ppl ive ever met and the Only person ive ever met irl who respects and understands my poetry in the exact way i need someone to. she and i have been talking and she rly wants to help me publish my poetry bc she sees merit in my work and knows how bad i want to / how successful it’s been already, but i don’t know how to talk abt this to her bc im embarrassed to tell her abt posting online and being ashamed abt my muses and all that and it just!!! sucks so much bc i kinda want to publish my work @ least once before i graduate and do it semi regularly for the rest of my life? but there’s so much in my way and it’s just! FGGFHDGJGGGG

#purrs #DONT RB #lms if u read please!!!#ALSO!!!! i sound so dumb but i rly hope i didnt offend anyone.... i dont judge anyone but myself for the stuff i do and as for being uncomfy #w sharing my work.... its literally not u its me and my deep dissatisfaction w who i am as a person. and in a perfect world i would b comfy #sharing things abt my life w other ppl but im not and its on me and not bc of anyone else (w the exception of my mom lel)#i guess the aquarius moon rly did jump out 😔#god i feel so dumb and mean and conceited for posting this but if anyone has suggestions / advice / anything rly i rly appreciate it!#and thank u so much to anyone who took tje time to read this @ all bc like. its a lot i kno im just. a lot

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mentalillnessmouse · 7 years

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Hi do u have any tips on how to talk about my mental illnesses in a healthy way? Friends keep saying "I'm here if u need to talk etc" and I wanna take them up on the offer but 1 im not used to talking about my feelings and it still feels weird 2) I dont wanna overload them with my issues bc they have their own stuff to deal with and I dont want my problems to have a negative impact on their mental health. How do I monitor myself/stop myself from overwhelming ppl and open up in a healthy way?

That’s a good question! It can be hard to be vulnerable and accept support from friends/love ones. I have struggled with opening up to friends in the past also and definitely have struggled with maintaining healthy boundaries. Here are some tips from my personal experience to open up while maintaining healthy boundaries:

How to start the conversation:

- identify ahead of time some of the fears/reasons you are hesitant to reach out to them and work on overcoming those hurdles. Remember if friends are kind enough to offer their support, they will most likely be willing to follow through with it. If you are worried they will judge you, remember that you don’t know what they are thinking until you ask, and it is okay to ask what they think about mental illness or about what you shared with them in order to get that validation. Friends are meant to be there for us through the good and bad times, if your friends are genuine, they will do their best to support you. keep reminding yourself of these truths.

- Send a text or ask in person if at some point soon you can take your friend up on their offer of support when you are struggling. Give them a heads up that you are nervous about talking but that you want to try. Ask them when would be best for them (that way they can be in the right mindset for offering support). You could even consider communicating by text at first about how you’re feeling if writing is easier for you. Ask them to hold you accountable for talking about a specific topic. For example, you could say: “Remember when you told me that you’re here for me if I ever need to talk? I am struggling a lot right now with what I think(*or know*) is mental illness. I could use someone to talk to, but I am scared about opening up. I would like to try to talk to you about some things, sometime soon, whenever is good for you. In case I struggle to bring it up, I would like to share with you about my …. (fill in the blank- depression, self-harm, anxiety, whatever).”

- If you talk to them in person, you can ask for them not to look at you! Honestly, I have told friends this before, and it can take some of the pressure off starting to talk.

- They may have questions, especially if they don’t know about mental illness. Be prepared for that. They may also feel unsure of how to help, thats okay too. Point them to our blog if you want!- so they can learn how to support you best. We have lots of resources on how to help a friend.

-Consider letting them know what you are expecting of them before you start- just to listen, their opinion on something, advice on how to handle a particular situation etc- that way they can know what you need from them

In terms of making sure you are maintaining healthy boundaries, some things to keep in mind might be:- Remembering to ask them about how they are often. It can be easy for us to only focus on your struggles, especially once we’re more comfortable with seeking support from someone, but friendships go two ways. Remind them that if they ever need to vent about anything, even if it feels trivial compared to what you shared, that you are there for them as well. -Especially if you know they have a history of mental illness or trauma, it may be good to ask them if there is any topic they struggle with hearing about. People have different triggers and if they are also struggling, they may be more sensitive to them. - Remind them (and yourself) that they are not responsible to “fix” you or protect you. if you relapse with an addiction, have a panic attack, enter into a depressive or psychotic episode or anything else, it is not their fault.

All in all, remember you are not responsible for their reactions- it is not your fault if they get overwhelmed, scared, sad, or any other emotion in response to you opening up to them. It is their responsibility to set their own boundaries with you about how much they can handle, but you can help in that by using the tips I mentioned above to help them determine their boundaries and making you aware of them. It is hard to open up and be vulnerable, but it can be worth it. The more you start to do it, the easier it will become. You may also find some of the resources below helpful:

How to tell someone about your mental health & interactions with others

This post on telling someone about your mental health problem has some great tips and advice.

This is a post with links to various module you can complete to help you assert yourself.

Here is a online self help book that has some self help tips and information on social skills training.

Talk about Mental Health

How to start your conversation

How to tell the people you love

Video for Parents By Teens Explaining Depression

Helping Your Family Understand MDD

Take care,

Ari

#Ask MIM #Anonymous #telling a friend #opening up #setting boundaries #healthy boundaries #ari

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theastralsea · 6 years

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#like not to keep whinng but that honestly haunts me everyday #im terrified im gonna fall in love with anyone besides a cis dude but will be too afraid to date them because of my fucking family #or that theyll meet one of my queer friends and judge them #or a queer friend will accidentally out me #like!!! i shouldnt be so scared of this!! i honestly WANT to date a girl or enby but jesus christ #i dont want to be crucified by the closest ppl in my life!!!#personal #i took a short break last time but i think im. gonna delete my app for a while #venting on here only makes me feel more alone yet i still do it #i guess its therapuetic at the time but i end up feeling pathetic

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compunctionjunction · 7 years

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70 horrible questions

I was tagged by the lovely @1of1prism thank u my guy <3

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Maybe better than some people but probably also worse than a lot of people lol. Sometimes I go to people’s houses and I’m like ???what is this “communication”. Also depends on the day and parent. i have an entire tag devoted to my dad lol

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? I dunno probs my mom or one of my friends

03: Do you regret anything? Lots

04: Are you insecure? "My insecurities have insecurities” tho tbh i’m gettin pretty good.

05: What is your relationship status? Single and not ready to mingle

06: How do you want to die? in control and ready 2 go

07: What did you last eat? cream of chicken soup... chocolate frozen yogurt... caramel pudding....... I just had my wisdom teeth out.......give me real food......

08: Played any sports? Never, in my life. The audacity.

09: Do you bite your nails? Ahuh! Sometimes!

10: When was your last physical fight? ive never been in a 2-way fight but the most recent 1-sided one was probs in gr 6 when one of my friends (aha) dragged me across the classroom by my hair lol

11: Do you like someone? No :\

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? try 72 hon

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? lol trump (im not changing ur answer sophie cause its accurate lol) also anyone who aligns w him and rn all the conservative MPs for being dicks and a lot more I’m full of hatred rn

14: Do you miss someone? i miss being able to eat real

15: Have any pets? my sister has 2 ferrets :\ but she moved out so no

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? my face hurts

17: Ever made out in the bathroom? made out a cheque to my haters (just kidding i have no money and no haters i just was trying to be funny. im sorry. i need humour right now.)

18: Are you scared of spiders? i mean i think it depends on how dark it is and how big the spider is tbh

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? i dunno i’ll need an informed consent form

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? :\

21: What are your plans for this weekend? first i gotta recover and then i gotta finish like 5 papers and hang with people and have a sleepover and hang with more ppl and watch a bunch of tv

22: Do you want to have kids? How many? I want to give birth to 0 kids tho I am still undecided on adoption etc. I’d probs be a rly good godmother tho like im just sayin. @1of1prism @purewhiteflames ;))

23: Do you have piercings? How many? no piercings as of yet tho i wanna get my ears pierced i think. but my dad disapproves of anything like that so i’d probs have to wait to either move out or be financially independent lol

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? rn? english, women and gender studies, most things involving research-based papers where i have free reign over the topic

25: Do you miss anyone from your past? lotsa ppl tbh

26: What are you craving right now? food........that i can eat........ chickenmelts........hamburgers......pizza........pasta......... :’(

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? prob lol but do i care

28: Have you ever been cheated on? we’ve all been cheated on.......by the system.....

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? that would require having one

30: What’s irritating you right now? my goddamn jaw and people eating food I can’t eat in front of me. my parents had mcdonalds yesterday. you know what i had. a milkshake. my sister brought home bacon wrapped scallops. I haven’t had scallops in like 2 years cause they’ve doubled in price and the one time we have scallops let alone frickin bacon wrapped scallops (like what the hell what kinda fancyass lunch) I cant FRICKIN eat it. Oh but I can smell it. I can hear u crunching on these foods. “Mmmmm!” ya shut up.

31: Does somebody love you? Do you know how popular I am? I am soooo popular. Everybody loves me so much at this school.

32: What is your favourite color? black and hot pink together

33: Do you have trust issues? ...........why are u asking..........what will u do with that info.......

34: Who/what was your last dream about? NO FREAKING JOKE!!!!!! i HAD A FRICKIN DREAM WHERE DANNY DEVITO CAME TO MY HOUSE WITH THIS LADY AND THEY TRIED TO BUY MY HOUSE AND MY MOM WAS LIKE “no..” AND THEY WERE SO MAD AND DANNY DEVITO TRIED TO STEAL THE HOUSE KEYS BUT I CAUGHT HIM JUST IN TIME like what kinda fake tumblr text post but it’s real i really dreamed that. I honestly can’t believe it. I would doubt it myself except I told someone abt it right away when I woke up. so now i will never forget.

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? my mom and this nurse because I woke up in a cot after being high on laughing gas and some other drug and steroids so not only did I wake up and I didn’t know where I was and no one was there and there was like an hour gap in my consciousness but I was coming off a high LOL

36: Do you give out second chances too easily? definitely not lol I give 2nd chances on rare occasions but as a general rule if u break my trust I won’t trust u in the same way again lol “trust is like a mirror. u can fix it if it’s broke. but u can still see the crack in that mother fucker’s reflection”

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? hmmmmmmmmmmmmm forgive i guess

38: Is this year the best year of your life? well not politically or in a global sense but in terms of like self-growth and stuff I’m doing pretty well so far I’m doin pretty good. workin hard... having fun.. loving myself..

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? i have never in my life sullied my lips with someone else’s bacteria-laden lips

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? n.........o

51: Favourite food? chicken pasta alfredo, chicken pie, chicken vol au vents, chickenmelts, eggs benedict, um, double chocolate fudge tart from dufflet... hmm, Sophie’s dad’s lasagna and also pasta al fuerno or whatever that’s called like yum, uh.. it’s really easy to list these off when i CAN’T HAVE ANY OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also poutine, and I also rly like Subway (ham and cheese on italian herbs and cheese bread with lettuce, onion, pickles, and mayonaisse, toasted...)

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? kind of but I tried to explain it to someone once and they were like ??????what ur saying makes no sense and contradicts itself and i was like ya probably lol

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? watched a bad tv show my parents were watching and drank a giant mcdonalds milkshake and iced my face

54: Is cheating ever okay? honestly who am i to judge ur relationship and forgiveness and stuff but like imo if someone cheats on u they don’t respect u as an equal in that relationship or probably as a human

55: Are you mean? i can be a bit of a dick tbh but most of the time when i say something mean in my head im like “why is my mouth saying//why are my fingers typing these horrible ass things??”

56: How many people have you fist fought? well ive never used my fists on anyone but 2 people have punched me in the stomach does that count lol

57: Do you believe in true love? at the same time, i wanna hug you, i wanna wrap my hands around your neck, you’re an asshole, but i love you... so much i think it must be true love, true love. it must be tru-e love, no one else could break my heart like yo-o-o-o-o-o. yo-o-o-o-oh, oh-o-o-oh (No)

58: Favourite weather? either when its foggy and tranquil or when its like 23-25 degrees and sunny but also there’s some clouds so it’s not like direct hot sun on u but it’s still warm enough to wear shorts

59: Do you like the snow? i like when it’s snowing and quiet and peaceful and i like lying down in the snow and having that feeling of hearing everything kind of muted? but ya i hate slush and ice and stuff

60: Do you wanna get married? not really but i might for tax benefits LOL

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? No, get that shit away from me

62: What makes you happy? lots of things especially seeing other people happy and genuine

63: Would you change your name? Maybe tbh it’s something i’m thinking abt right now cause I’m not a super fan of my name but maybe not officially and I also don’t wanna start shit with my fam I think my mom would be upset lol

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? ya cause they don’t exist lol

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? well thats nice cause I like him too but what’s with this “opposite sex” bs like i know what u mean but like

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? like seriously it’s not a real thing sex and gender are both constructs it’s a spectrum, a range. my buddy. pal. listen. (also ya i like to think anyone in our friend group but like probs john cause I can be scathing with those guys but as if i’d ever be vulnerable around them LOL)

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? like ur gonna keep going with this. ur gonna keep doing this. thats fine. but i can give u some reading. like i have all these pdfs if ur interested. no joke. and if pdfs are unaccessible to u i also have a bunch of youtube links. like hon. (my dad)

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? wow i dont even know if i can tag u back @1of1prism cause if im being honest i think it was @purewhiteflames oops, yikes!!!

69: Do you believe in soulmates? no but i do think there are people that u are much more compatible with than other people

70: Is there anyone you would die for? i dunno we’ll see if/when it happens lol

I’m not gonna put anyone else through this so you can say I tagged u if u wanna do it but like lol

#tag game #about #man i forgot abt some of the things my dad has said and then i went through his tag and i was like #oh ya!!! that happened lol!#i guess it is easier to forget than forgive after all loool #my dad #marinapleasecontinue

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im-reed-ing · 7 years

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tagged by: @heroiiic u are a cool person and I am a chicken nugget thats too scared of bothering u on discord, but if my phone wasn't physically broken id share u a screenshot every time soren came to say hi to me in FEH

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better.

((alright but when have I ever followed the rules...... just sayin))

1. nicknames: reed... uh..... sometimes ppl call me weed to mock me but then i just punch them and its good (just kdding im weak as shit)

2. gender: hey so i find that if you don't identify yourself, people you talk to online are less likely to preemptively subconsciously stereotype you and therefore judge you before really getting to know you. So let's keep it that way. Unlock lvl 3 friendship before I reveal who I truly am to you LMFAO

3. Star sign: aries grr!

4. Height: 5'5", maybe 5'6" ??? idk man all i know is my little sister is taller than me and it makes me mad bc I personally am not that short!!!!

5. time: 2:16 am

6. bday: March 22

7. favorite bands: well shit uh, Sakanaction, Bump of Chicken, Dogcatcher, The Oh Hellos, FOB, Unison Square Garden.... im sure im missing something but... o well.

8. Favorite Solo Artist: I can't choose so u get all of em. Hachi (Yonezu Kenshi), Aimer, Sasakure.UK, Harito, Keichi Okabe, EMI EVANS god ,,, As well as a collection of, indie people,... and anyone that did the drakengard/nier osts / gravity rush 1 & 2 Osts, wow. seriuosly. Amazing.

9. Song stuck in my head right now: Douse shinundakara, (its a lie that its not stuck right now but its been for the past few days!) because I found the jp translation and made english lyrics and have been practicing hittin those high notes in the car on the way to school LMFAO.... same with hoshii no kieta by Aimer.;..... its like car karaoke hawhaw

10. Last movie I saw was. Uh. UHHH. In theaters, it was Hitmans Bodyguard, which by the way was campy and ridiculous and pretty funny if seen with the right people.

11. Last show I watched: was Rick and Morty, earlier today, in my school lounge on my computer. s3 ep 7 is really, really good. Like really good. It's also pretty fucked up.

12. when I created this blog: its been. A very. long time. this blog has only really ever been for reblogs... if u wanna chat w me find a discord server im part of and bother me there... or pm me, because i prefer one on one conversations even if im shit at keeping them going.

13. what I post: oh shit i answered this one already by accident OOPS UHHHH i reblog good art, shitty memes, and PSA's that I think are important. Im here to haev a good time. I have a seperate art blog that's in my about tab so there's that.

14. last thing I googled: the definition of the word galvanized. I am now slightly more verbose.

15. do I have any other blogs: like, two. artblog, old blog where I uploaded covers when I was in middle school, and a personal vent blog.... i accidently reblogged something to there though so I deleted it oops lmfao. But its ok, it was meant to be ephemeral and writing my thoughts down is therapeutic so I'll make another one once again.

16. do I get asks: literally never. Not even bots, LMFAO.

17. why did i choose my url: I've stuck with the name Reed for a really long time now but its also a pretty generic name, so i came up with this shitty pun and it stuck. it's probably my steam username too but like shifted around a little. any time i can't get 'reed' as a username i default to im.reed.ing or something like that.

18. followers: whoa, 175, really???? I get the impression that quite a few of them are inactive though, or i post so irregularly and infrequently that no one ever sees my posts LOL.

19. following: 380 and still counting. I turn on notifs for artblogs I really like!!! >;3

20. favorite snack for movie/tv: Honestly I used to not chow much while watching or itd be something generic like chips, but recently I started marathoning naruto of all things w a friend and we go to the asian supermarket beforehand and we get like a bunch of popped rice chips or sweets and various foods and some iteration of hi-chews and THAT is my favorite marathon snack tbh.

21. average hours of sleep: NEVER ENOUGH. It goes from like 2-3 hours on days when i have no self ocntrol... to like 12-16 on days when i... have no... self control.... lays down slowlyl.....

22. wHAT THE HECK THERES NO NUMVER 22 TRIKEY skdjhfksu cMON MANG

23. lucky number: my rng is shit but my favorite number is 4 because someone dear to me likes that number... but also because 4 is unlucky in some places, which I identify with.... but also bc 4 is the # of sides in a square/diamond, and squares are perfect and good shit and aesthetic. My boyfriend is a squa-- //kicked jk jk ramiel is a octohedron, i take it bac k ....

24. instrument: i can play the piano (barely) but I used to also do violin trumpet and a teeny bit of flute.... learned the ocarina too bc im a zelda nerd, and I dont mean that silly little 4-hole one. But I also sing and stuff and have been actively practicing, one day ill make a decent cover and learn to mix and be one of dem cool youtaites..... lays down slowly. this is fine.

25. what I am wearing right now: a lot of things,,, a watch, a hyper light drifter sweater. headphones, underwear, pants, a tshirt, socks, existential dread... u name it lol.

26. first celeb crush: since i honestly never cared much for real life celebrities, i'll just give you my anime/video game crushes instead and like...... wow i can't honestly remember my first ones???? oh shit wait OK it was probably both ashitaka and san, my first ghibli movie was mononokehime... they are just so freaking coo l... ok thtas a lie i lowkey wanted to BE them. Both of them.

.... idk man u cant ask an aroace person what their crushes were bc idk what those are!!! I assume u just really really really like something/someone and thats that, I GUESS??? I wanted to be link too once upon a time. And nausicaa. and a good chunk of the soul calibur 2 cast, and starfire from oldtimey teen titans. i was a simple child ok???

27. dream job: listen thats complicated idk about what my dreams are for a job, but I do want to be an animator and a storyboarder and a game developer and a game tester and a movie critic and a cinematographer and a director and a story lead and an illustrator at some point, and gotta try it before I can knock it ya know?

28. Dream trip: anywhere, so long as its with the people I really love. One day, I'll pack a few things into my car and run away for a little while. I'll come back some day! But for those long hours on the road with another person or two, marvelling quietly at the world around them as it passes and listening to music in the car... that sounds like a nice temporary reprieve.

29. favorite food: i fucken love poki bowl. SPICY SEAFOOD + RICE YAAAaaas

30. nationality: was born in murica, but both my parents are immigrants from now-ukraine. So we all speak russian at home lul.

tagging people: ha, tags are for nerds. @one-becomes-two @trash-knights @nhiners @awishwee @deerwood @montejeska @queenchro @chicken-mcnobody DONT HAVE ANY MORE BLOGS I CAN REMEMBER this will have to do.

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