#i wasn’t out when we were together

[iammissingautumn]

yo i be adding pins to my friends boards like “I have a [picture of a glass Crush bottle] on you” and *insert romantic love quote*. and i’m like. should i worry about them interpreting this the wrong way? and then i add a picture of people making out to some of my friends boards and I go. Yk. I just won’t worry about it.

#i’m aromantic what are they gonna do? #accuse me of feeling alterously towards them? just think about it homie that’s the only thing i feel for my relationships #ohhhh noooooooo u think i love u? u think i’d kiss you? #yeah freak. i would. #id kiss you. and id never look you in the eyes. if you’d prefer #we’ll do whatever #okay but seriously i kind of do #it’s like. idk how different i am to say id do anything for someone if they asked me and were willing to build smth with me #it’s just not romantic #so i’ll talk to orange and i’m like. we’re exes yk. old exes at this point but i’m like. #i wasn’t out when we were together #so i came out as aro and now we’re close again and im like! yeah i loved you for a reason #i didn’t have these issues back then but they just didn’t feel attainable back then #and i think we’ve attained now #meanwhile #oli and i could die in each others arms. i think we could be amazing #or we could like. just be cool #either #id just love to love him more #id love to be allowed to lvoe him more #and anjum. i wish i could live with her so badly. i just feel like we could peak like that #wolf 🐺 #orange 🍊 #neiru 📱 #mod caden

[laniemae]

Why I believe John/Orekoto was lying about his motive in Neoplasm

Ok so double just came out and I have a lot of thoughts. When a new MV comes out I usually wait a while until I can make a proper analysis but this one is mostly going to focus on neoplasm. And in particular one thing me and my friend found particularly suspicious about John’s (Orekoto’s) testimony when it comes to the murder(s).

When Es questioned John about their murder, he responded very clearly with “Yeah it was me, I killed them off”. And after that Es questioned why he did it, only to say that he did it only because they were annoying him and it was whoever was walking by. Es goes quiet at this which might imply to me some sort of suspicion on his testimony. John goes on to say that he can’t remember how many he killed because he was just born back then and his memory is kinda fuzzy.

Instantly this set off a ton of red flags for me, it just doesn’t make any sense when you think about it. Earlier on when John fronted he started acting all violent and threatened to beat up Es, who just calmly laughed it off. Es seemed to be quickly notice something was off, as their calm demeanour enacted an also suspiciously calm demeanour from John. Es then said it was strange because they assumed him to be a monster. After hearing that John instantly went back into that violent persona that they were showing as soon as they fronted.

This scene is very telling to me. John is not violent, or evil, heartless or anything like that. He’s only acting that way to potentially come out less. And be even straight up says “if I had stayed a monster… maybe that would’ve been better.” Then instantly takes back what he said by just going “…what?”

From this it’s very clear, like I said, that John isn’t evil. But then that takes what he said about his murders into question. That he only did it because he just got annoyed and killed random passers. This clearly isn’t true when you take into account the whole interaction with Es, because otherwise he would’ve attempted to kill Es the whole time and not go docile when they weren’t acting scared.

I believe that John is trying to dip back into his monster persona he made for himself here. He probably figured out that acting evil all the time wouldn’t work, and when questioned on such a sensitive topic such as the murder he just went with the option that made him the least sympathetic, and Mikoto more sympathetic in order to lower his stress levels by not telling the full truth. 

As for who committed the murder/s, I’m still pretty unsure. In double it looks like both sides are perpetrators. But this also takes into account, what about those scenes of John killing the mannequins? It seems like it matches up enough to what he said in the voice drama but I don’t think that’s the smiling gun.

Milgram is an extremely complex series, and in no way should the easiest option be assumed as the right one. Unreliable narrators are a big thing in the series, and we should look at a character’s MV with how they view themselves in mind. For example, Kazui thinks himself as a monster and this is especially prevalent in Cat, where if you’d take it at first glance you might assume that he’s evil or whatever, just as he views himself.

The same should apply to John as well. He wants to believe he’s a monster in order to protect Mikoto from more mental stress about his murder, and might end up with him fronting less. This likely subconsciously played itself into double and even MeMe, where John portrays himself as evil as that’s what he wants people to view him as.

I feel like when discussing who’s the murder and if John is evil, we should definitely take this into account otherwise our future opinions will be biased.

Ok so someone just mentioned the fact that he had a baseball bat in the first place means it was likely a premeditated murder. So him killing people just because they annoyed him would be a really weird thing to say because that would’ve been an impulsive murder, and he had a weapon at the time.

#milgram #mikoto kayano #Milgram theory #yes I am calling him john I think it’s hilarious and fitting for a little goober #This was basically a theory me and my friend came up with when we were watching neoplasm together #I could’ve gone into more depth with this but I feel like this summarises what I want to say good enough #From the start I felt like it was very clear he was lying about killing those people because they annoyed him #Im surprised so many people took that at face value #Remember prisoners can lie in their voice dramas and their view of themselves can affect the mvs #People should really take this into account otherwise it’d probably prompt even more “john/orekoto is evil” bs again #And I don’t know how to fit this in but I’m still thinking alot how #In the first trial voice trailer mikoto says “my (boku) life it wasn’t supposed to be this way…” #In the glitched out segment which is heavily implied to be when/around the prisoners committed their murders #LanieMae’s theories

[enigma-absolute]

…

#rough day today with an emotional mess at the end #rough as in it wasn’t BAD just… I had low energy the entire time and lost the day really #I don’t know how my mom does it. she has it worse than me and she expects me to be more bounding and alive and USING my energy #buddy. pal. I got rude and angry because I was LOW and I DO NOT HAVE YOUR PAIN TOLERANCE THRESHOLD #on MULTIPLE levels. physical and emotional #you went to dental school in Otago in the 90’s. I did animation school 2019-2023. #you escaped communism and were a stranger in a strange land and married my father who became a bat from hell and you had to escape him #AND keep the kids in good schools and in God. #I didn’t. I was the child who had it worst on the spectrum and had the PTSD to crawl out of during high school. #of course THAT put a dampener on me growing up in several ways (and uh. being on this hellsite in 2014 didn’t help either) #mom I love you and you love me. we are clearly NOT the same ever #I’m a little over the age dad married you at first now. I do not have the same threshold nor tolerance as you. I AM more sensitive yeah #and I’m trying to work through it but damn it it is hard trying to stay soft in a world getting crueller. #and yet! I have my father’s face and eyes in anger! I wish I could be more kind and loving on low energy and I’m sorry! #I am genuinely an ass when I’m tired and ticked off and want none of your help and I wish I wasn’t! alas! #I do not! have! your threshold nor tolerance! #when I finally get myself together and have a full place to call my own. with bills and all to pay. #I will finally allow myself the relief of lying down onto the kitchen floor and sobbing. #in the knowledge and safety of solitude. #Chris rambles #AUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #vent

[villainsidestep]

“think abt smth besides v3!au” no

#gideon shut the hell up challenge #would love to think abt canon fawn but unfortunately there’s nothing to think abt there so. #we still can’t figure out how to write a big thing abt the fawnchen stuff but. since we’ve been thinking in general. #fawnchen sitting together at the memorial/funeral… the ortegas try to coax fawn into sitting in a seat between them but fawn is still too #emotional in v negative ways (angry at them; blames them; hates them) to consider it so they sit on the end of a row and next to chen #there is a lot of dialogue in mind abt him asking if they’ve talked to the ortegas yet and asking if they blame him [implied: the same way #that they’re blaming the twins/hb/themself] and fawn says that he wasn’t in the room [so he couldn’t have stopped anything] and he asks #again if they blame him [for not being there to help in the first place] #+ way later (read: autopsy photo time) fawn noting that chen seems to be treating them differently? he’s notably trying Not to but he’s #being weird enough that it draws attention to itself. v soon after he is ofc injured and argent joins the rangers and fawn is like #oh I get it…. he was worried abt how I’d get along w someone New joining. kinda fucked up he doesn’t trust me but it’s fine #would love to say they’d still get along but honestly without the villainy from fawn they’d probs be like neutral-positive @ each other #+ obvs even later than that is when herald joins the team and eww can you imagine what a complicated nightmare that is for fawn #on one hand. new hero!! his brain is super open and he’s nice and wants to get along w you!! on the other hand. he’s a Fan of yours and #probs only hesitates to bring up ur dead brothers (bc they were Also his icons) bc he has been trained by both ortegas to NOT!!! do that #I think they’d honestly still get along tho :) maybe if he catches them in a good enough mood he can get some brothers lore from them

[badolmen]

So funny how trauma will just kick you in the fucking teeth with the most random triggers.

#ra speaks #personal #watched the most recent quintin reviews vid which like yeah I went in with expectations of the content #and it’s not like I actively avoid stuff that depicts/discusses abuse I’ve been going to therapy long enough to know my most sensitive #triggers and stuff. but…idk something abt when he got to the drake bell section just set me off something fierce. #I’m all nerves and stress and self loathing/misplaced guilt from my own past bullshit #like brain can we please cool it we’ve been over this for years why you freaking the fuck out now? (I mean. logically. I know why #and how trauma works and that I’m just having emotional flashbacks but still. ugh.) #brain please be real niceys to me I have a meeting in an hour we cannot be having a panic attack. #you’re safe you’re good it wasn’t your fault etc etc can we please go back to being an adult more than a decade past all that? please??? #survived my meeting so I’m gonna vent abt this a bit more bc. let’s be real. #I don’t rememember a solid 3 years of my adolescence and it fucks w me sometimes. #I remember things before 4th grade. I remember 4th grade. then bam I’m in 8th going to high school. and like #I know logistically what happened. I know emotionally I hated/was so fucking scared of [redacted] until I finally left that fucking school. #it’s just. frustrating bc if I remembered maybe I’d feel more justified letting myself get upset abt it. but I don’t so suck it up buttercup #it probably wasn’t even that bad if you don’t actually remember it so pull it together. #hell for all you know it had nothing to do with [redacted] and you were just on bad meds/depressed and forgot three solid years of your life #after meeting [redacted] <- I am not convincing myself unfortunately.

[vlindervin7]

the thing abt red white and royal blue is that the premise is fucking stupid. however, reading the book i was able to more or less look past it bc i really enjoyed the characterisation and the way the story was built and the dynamics between all the characters, but when you make a movie and you erase key character elements, take away the chemistry, and refuse to focus on family (biological and chosen) dynamics for more than a second, while everything is also being incredibly badly acted. what do you have left? the stupid plot, which just does not hold up

#so many things i missed like alex’s bi awakening was so watered down and where is june and why are his parents still #together as if the divorce isn’t one of the things that shapes his character #where’s the stupid six why did they barely communicate after they got outed why didn’t we get one of the best moments #aka love him on purpose #where is rafael luna who is also so important to alex’ character #idk there were just so many things that they did to make it more digestible to the public which only served to make it a Bad when it wasn’t #high quality to begin with #jasmine has thoughts #and don’t get me wrong there were some things i did enjoy. this is gonna sound stupid but i liked when they smiled at each other bc it felt #very genuine and i quite liked the sex scenes even though they were weirdly paced. obsessed with stephen fry’s homophobia #but those things are not enough to make it really enjoyable #rwrb

[mebiselfandi]

I have “I talk about my best friend and throw up 60 times disease”

#I love her so much it hurts #it’s so pathetic #we only have one picture together which my mum forced us to take when we were 12 and no I will never be okay #I need her here with me like it genuinely hurts wtf #and it keeps getting worse #I’m sick and it feels like I’m dying #see what not sleeping for a whole night does to a bitch? #3 cancer scared in one year from her #finding out she almost died and I wouldn’t have known #I can’t take it anymore my hearts gonna give out #she’s finishing college and I haven’t even started #I’m so normal about her #I’m not in case it wasn’t obvious

[heartshapedtrap]

just hung out w friends for five hours and feltso full of whimsy I could pass out <333 I miss them so bad already but I get to see them tomorrow tooooo

#like it wasn’t even planned we just talked on the phone then met up at **** house chatted while our other two friends made us friendship #bracelets and watched the cat be silly with a bowl of water that was like two hours of us doing that #then agroup car ride (I love when we do this sm it’s like my favorite part when we hang out) skin to skin in a tiny fucking car laughing #talking listening to music on our way to Taco Bell then rode around taking scenic routes b4 gas station break to like pee n buy snacks :33 #flicked up another scenic route went to the epic park w the cool playground n reminisced about how it felt like being a kid again at 1am #I’m convinced all these fuckers are neurodivergent bc not one of them can go without stemming and ***** fucking climbing on top of the every #single thing LMFAO doing backflips off of swings and stuff too I had like an insane amount of whatever bc I skipped like the entire time #just to idk be silly and **** joined in :))) switches seats in the car and went to another park then rode in the car again to more scenic #routes and all the way back to **** house to get our stuff and each driveour cars back home <3 #we group hugged at the epic park and the moment was so surreal bc we all were close to crying especially ******* like I love my fwends sm i #cannot even properly describe how happy they make me feel like sonearnestly so #I weirdly felt closer to ***** tonight too probably bc we indulged **** antics together and were skin to skin in the backseat of the car #like having to fasten each others seatsbelt his arm awkwardly behind me n out the window that close n how alike we are… #OH WAIT him and **** buzzed their hair like days before n it really hit me that I haven’t seen him w shirt hair since I’ve first known him #when we all were once coworkers together and it’s like a fond memory now and crazy to think about how we’ve all grown together as friends #ok done being sappy now b4 I actually fucking cry like eyes are on the brink as I type :p #* #personal #heartshapedtrap #can y’all tell I left my journal at home… and needed to like remember how happy I’ve felt since seeing friends <3 #omggg i forgot to mention how they all cheered and were like happy for me during the scenic car ride that I’m almost certain im lesbian #still unsure of myself but I think that’s probably the closest label idk I just feel really happy that they support me nomatter what yaknow

[angelnumber27]

I want to murder the love I feel for the man that cheated on me twice and beat the fuck out of me every day while claiming he loved me more than anything

#He is now dating the girl he cheated on me with at LEAST twice FOUR years ago :-) #so awesome and great for me to know they probably stayed in contact that whole time! love that! #found out bc he got a text and it said ‘I could kiss you all day’. #while we were together and everything was fine. I don’t understand why he did that. #this shit literally makes me want to off myself lol #and it fucking sucks because we dated for five years and it was so good for so long #and I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone #but there’s nothing I can do #he also was the one who got me addicted to fentanyl. #and as soon as he went to rehab and got sober he left me. I wasn’t clean yet and could have died and he just left. #found out soon after he’d been seeing her. #when he cheated he sent me multiple pictures of her naked and her in our bed. #and my dumbass got back together with him. #every time #I was fucked up before this relationship but now I am literally irreparable #I can’t heal from this shit #he’d tell me to kill myself #and say he wished I was dead #knowing how difficult shit was for me and how suicidal I was #he’d strangle me and spit on me and trip me and punch me in the face #he’d constantly tell me I ruined every aspect of his life and that I was the worst thing that ever happened to him. #then he’d tell me that I’m abusive because of my mental illnesses. #I’m so tired :( #I’m so fucking damaged and broken from this shit I cannot even put it into words. #abuse tw #physical abuse tw #physical abuse cw

[eeunwoo]

.

#actually also #I was thinking abt this bc I can’t sleep and like. #u guys prolly remember my bestie m///ika and I’ve never talked abt it properly but like #we were best friends for abt 6y before she ghosted me bc of a new boyfriend (army guy which is already 🤢 but yeah) #and like before she ghosted officially she basically met another group of girls and a guy online and they all have regular meet-ups and #hang out. which is fine. but it’s such a slap in the face bc they’re like. all rich lol #like they say they’re not but if u can afford regular trips across the country. hotels and restaurants and parties. u are rich #and I already know she’s rich but yeah I thot our friendship kinda looked over class status lmao #but to see her make friends strictly w rich people and suddenly forget all her morals re other stuff has been. hard on me to deal w frankly #I unfollowed her on all socials bc it makes me sick to my stomach knowing that she ghosted me even tho I asked her a few times to just tell #me if she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore. bc I saw it coming bc when she made other friends and got the new bf she started pulling #away. and I know ppl grow apart but we never really did. she just decided I wasn’t good enough. completely out of the blue decided to stop #answering my messages. idk #my trust issues skyrocketed since then #we were so close I was supposed to teach in the usa and we were gna move in together like it was that deep #and yeah idk. I think abt it every so often bc. it’s upsetting #like #I thought she cared abt me lmao but #I guess I’m basically only good to make ppl feel good abt themselves and then if anyone else comes along I immediately get ditched #it’s an awful existence to have #mrow.org

[roaringroa]

to the beautiful girl dressed as juliet from the halloween party two days ago: i am still thinking about you

#she was crazy beautiful and we danced for so long #she was a friend’s friend so at one point we went to sit together with everyone else and there weren’t enough chairs #so she pulled me onto her lap and when i told her to be careful cause i’m heavy #she said not to worry cause she works out so she can handle hot women????!!!! whjsgjajakshs #should have kissed her then and there but we literally had just sat down in the middle of all of our friends so i thought later #and at one point i think before that she kighted me with a water bottle?? i can’t remember why but i kneeled in front of her #so she knighted me and then gave me a kiss on the forehead and then one on each cheek #should have kissed her then too but i think we did the knight thing as a demonstration to ppl so again all of our friends were paying atten #anyway after both the lap the knighting and dancing very closely for a while i took her somewhere else #like outside so i could find an excuse to kiss her #but there were other couples there and everyone was asked to get back inside #so we did and then we sat down somewhere #we were chatting and then she said something about the guy who was flirting with her and how she wasn’t sure she should kiss him #because (here i don’t remember exactly) something about her ex boyfriend and how that guy wasn’t sober #so after that i was like wait am i sober enough so i realized i was a little too drunk and didn't try anything again #anyway we continued to dance and flirt but nothing more #and then she left and all i could think of please can i see you again #cause i would really like to kiss you and now i'm still thinking about her #but i don’t use insta and even if i did i prob wouldn’t flirt with her via insta cause i'm too chicken #but if i don’t use insta how can i see her again since i don't see our mutual friend that frequently #ou mutual friend is my high school friend and her middle school friend #my high school friend group is planning to get together in like a month and a half ( we have to plan in advance lol) #so i might ask about her then 💀💀💀 #might be a little pathetic to ask about someone you met once after 1 month and a half but honestly i really did like her a lot #and i AM a little pathetic so… #also just to be clear this is not the girl i kissed in the sonic costume lol i was dressed as wednesday addams and didn’t kiss her :( #also no hate to the girl i kissed in the sonic costume she was cute but juliette girl was so... asdjlkfsçad #my post

[pepprs]

not to keep liveblogging the retreat but it’s over now (it has been for most of the day). i cried so much today and it was amazing. im so sad and so happy and so relieved and so tired and so proud

#purrs #retreat tag #i was rly anxious facilitating today and overwhelmed bc we had to pack (i didn’t help at all and felt terrible) and i didn’t finish writing #notes to ppl and i had to facilitate and i was nervous abt the emotions. and then we got there and i said the final words and started crying #and this time EVERYONE was looking at me. but it wasn’t sad tears it was like…. wow. look at this. we made this together. we went through so #much this week and also for three years and we did it and it all mattered so much and we’re here together. and i felt all my past and future #selves and pods and cohorts in that moment and all the ones i didn’t get to see too. and it was so… wow. and then i was bawling when we were #hugging goodbye and someone in my pod hugged me for like a solid 2 minutes it felt like and we were just rocking each other and crying 🥹🥹🥹🥹 #it doesn’t even feel real but also it was SO real. i can’t believe it’s over. not to keep talking a but crying but i cried for like an hour #when i got picked up and we went back to the hotel omg.. like this was MONTHS of intensive prep and planning plus 2 years of the heaviest LY #lifts to put on diminished versions of this magical thing and we got to do it this time and everything that led up to that mattered and the #ripples will roll out forever. im a little scared bc part of me feels distant from it bc i know so much now and have a lot of experience w i #it but like.. this program changed my whole life. introduced me to so many of the people i love. exploded my world into light. and i got to #be part of doing that for 43 other people. i feeel so lucky and warm #i feel cringy for talking abt it on here liek it’s disingenuous / just for performance but i rly mean that its just thisis my public diary 🥴 #like omg. 5 years ago. and 3 years ago. and last semester. and now it’s over???? but also it’s just beginning. wild #naur also im a staff coach now and it was kinda sad the distance i felt. like they were scared of me / felt like i was untouchable a little #bit but it’s like… im only a couple years older than you. someone in my pod was a year older than me! so that was sad. but it was good

[boag]

idk why i deadass thought you were like middle aged in a 20's kind of way bc you seem so grown up in my mind then i realized you're only one year older than me. aging is wild

Omg that’s crazy to me. I don’t think I’m grown up at all like I’m super childish and naïve imo but I do get this occasionally idk I think I’m just cheugy

#when I was 16 and me n my friend Devin who’s a year older than me lived together #and we were always throwing parties #his like 17-19 yr old friends always got surprised when they found out I wasn’t in my 20s #like what #I was just always walking around with a glass of wine and they all thought I was like 23

[jinniebit]

.

#genuine question #how do y’all make friends? #this should be something that came naturally with life right? #but I guess I dis something wrong because I think I never learned nxhshd #when I was in school I had some friends or what I thought were friends because it was just us graduating that we never talked again… #but they still do hang out bc I see them posting but I was never invited… like wasn’t I part of this friend group too?? #same thing with college… I had this lil group and we used to do everything together and again after graduation #never heard of them again…. #am I doing something wrong??? #we did talk for a few days but then they just stop answering #and that leaves me at were I am now… a grown as adult with a friend group with 0 friends except for my sis that lives in another country… #kfhsmdjka #well as you can see my mind is still all over the place and I keep overthinking everything jdudmshshd #bye I’m actually going now… #oh yeah part of me is also freaking out because of today’s concert…. TASTE like??? wtf was that???? I AM NOT READY FOR THIS ALBUM! #anna.nonsense

[sluttyten]

Fucking wild day at work today like what the fuck

#like it wasn’t all that wild until literally the last two minutes of my shift when I walked outside looking for one of the shift managers #because my GM was on a conference call and the other two shift managers that were there plus another one who had just like stopped by were #all nowhere to be seen #any fucking way….. I walked outside because I knew that the one that stopped by was out there talking to the one that opened this morning #and I walk out there like who is in charge right now and they were like idk and then I started to be like oh well I just needed some #questions answered about stuff before I leave (which I ended up saying fuck it and not asking or saying anything about those things) #but then!!!! (also keep in mind these two shift managers are my closest work friends and the one has been working with me since day 1 over 4 #years ago and the other has been around for the past like 2.5 years probably?? but like we worked together every day pretty much) #anyway I say that about having questions and start to tell them and they’re like well it doesn’t matter #or it didn’t matter to the one or something like that BECAUSE SHE IUST GOT FUCKING FIRED #AND I SWESR TO GOd I WAS LIKE DID I HUST MISHEAR THAT WHAT THE FUCJ DO YOU MEAN YOU JUST GOT FIRED #FOR WHAT?!? what could she possibly have done? #and it’s some big long bullshit and I just can’t believe it #so I stood out there for another few minutes on the clock not paying any attention to wtf is going on in the store because literally what #the hell but eventually I was like I’m just gonna walk in and clock out #but we still didn’t know who was in charge and then like 3 of us were leaving but no one new had come in yet so I just had to interrupt the #GM on his call (with our district manager sitting beside him) to be like can I leave? and then I just clocked out and went and stood outside #for like 45 minutes with my friends talking about the absolutely bullshittiness of the entire situation #like I can’t believe it #and I’m sure that she can’t believe it either #it was literally out of nowhere #our GM didn’t even know about it until after she’d been fired like it came from higher up in corporate and I just…. I hate this for her #but at the same time and she said this too that she was comfortable here (same) and if she wasn’t fired she probably wouldn’t have quit for #a long long time and like… same here #but if the other shift manager that I’m friends with quits she better tell me first and we’ll put our two weeks in together #I’m not fucking staying when everyone I like working with is Gina #because days they’re not there o fucking hate it #we went from having a good core group of people every day to it just being the three of us and now it’s just the two of us #plus like another 3/4 people that I usually love working with #though one of them irritates me a lot too but she’s been there since the start for me too (and she’s also on the brink of quitting)

[iloveyoumorethansoup]

I have no idea if I am upset or not bc I simply am not that in tune with my emotions rn but like man. It’s gonna be weird

#like I won’t feel like if I want some quiet time then I have to hide out in my room #and I won’t have to hear republican news all day everyday #but also. that is my mother. and like there’s nothing I do with her because we have nothing in common #but also I would still talk to her. she was on my nerves more often than not but that’s just because she and I aren’t fit to live together #we were meant to live apart and then we can get along #but I don’t know that she’ll ever speak to me again after today. i don’t need her to live with me #in fact I’d prefer she didn’t. but that doesn’t mean I want her out of my life #now my dad wants me to take a weekend off to go to Maine with him. and it’s like. i have work. but also Idk that I feel like doing that #when I was depressed in middle school and hated everyone my mother was the one who I talked to. and she wasn’t particularly helpful #and never thought to get me help and she was miserable herself so we were just collectively miserable I definitely said my fair share of #hurtful things. because I know my misery stemmed from my parents and I told her I wanted to leave and I didnt think I ever wanted to be back #and I know she still remembers bc she’s commented on it within the last several months. she never forgets. just stews on things #apparently she’s still stewing on things from when I was 4 #her leaving today was incredibly immature and she said some very hurtful things #and like I do this it’s best she moves out! and I hope in time she can realize the way she did it was wrong #i just wouldn’t be surprised if she became a stranger to me #I don’t know if I’ll see her on Christmas or my birthday or any other day #soup talks