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jonspurpleskirt · 3 years

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Perks of Beholding

Summary: Jon gets distracted from paranoia by learning he can now understand animals. This somehow solves all their problems. Or: Jon turns into a Disney princess the fic.

No Warnings apply. It’s just fluff. Heavily inspired by this lovely TMA comic: ___

It started with the Admiral. Jon was about to read the first statement his mysterious benefactor had sent when he heard a small "Jon!" from the kitchen. It had a strange, rumbling undertone to it and sounded as though a human was trying to imitate a cat.

Jon startled so hard at the unfamiliar voice that he send the papers he had in his hands flying. Instinctively grabbing the tape recorder he sprung up.

"Who's there!"

The Admiral came out of the kitchen, rubbing against the doorframe and purring. "Jon! It's time for a midday snack."

Jon blinked hard, wondering if he had lost his mind entirely, while a much louder voice was screeching in delight.

"Admiral! I can understand you!"

"Give me food Jon, I beg of you. I'm famished."

The Admiral jumped up on his lap, claws snagging on the worm hole riddled arm. It should have already been healed, but Jon continued picking on it.

"Ah..ha. Careful please. I'm damaged goods."

"My apologies. Now food and then cuddles? I crave attention."

Statement forgotten Jon spend the rest of the afternoon debating with Georgies cat about the pros and cons of feeding the Admiral without Georgies consent, sneaking snacks anyway and cuddling on the couch.

To say that Georgie was bemused when she got home was an understatement. "You can speak cat now. Are you shitting me?"

"No. It's amazing! Georgie this might be the only good thing to have happened to me in years!"

Georgie rolled his eyes, grinning. "Don't be so dramatic. So what? Are cats really planning to overthrow us lowly humans? What is he saying?"

"I'm pretty sure he wouldn't tell me if that was the case. Admiral is there anything you'd like to say to Georgie?"

The Admiral, who hadn't budged from Jons chest since after he had been fed was staring straight at him. "Tell her I love her."

Jon turned to Georgie with the most serious face she had ever seen on him. "He wants you to know that he loves you." He announced gravely. And then, after a short pause. "But he loves me more."

"I didn't say that."

"He didn't say that!"

"No, but I know."

The Admiral bit at his finger and then immediately licked the raw skin as an apology. "Unruly kitten."

"I'm not a kitten!"

"You know I'm not sure if the noises you make are cute or creepy."

~~~

His language comprehension skills didn't only focus on cat speak, Jon found out soon after. He had been brave enough to step out of Georgies flat to go for a quick walk (and buy some cat food that Georgie refused to get for the Admiral), when a voice from above cooed at him.

"So shiny!"

Jon froze at the croaky exclamation, scanning his environment and trying not to panic. There was no police nearby. Which was good. But also bad if this was going to turn out to be a robbery. There weren't any people around at all, actually. Jon had gone out at an ungodly hour as to avoid big crowds and thus being seen.

The only being he could make out was a crow perched atop a lantern, gazing down at him. Jon pointed at himself. "Are you speaking to me?"

The crow tilted its head. "It would seem so, human."

"Oh. What is it that you find so shiny?"

It considered his question for a moment, then flew down. Jon flinched when the bird landed on his shoulder, a sharp beak tapping the hair clasp Jon had used to keep his mess of a hair out of his face.

"This. I'd like to have it."

Jon itched to stroke the black feathers that caressed his cheek. A childish excitement that he hadn't felt since uni thrumming in his chest.

"You can have it. Just let me take it out first."

The crow hopped on his other shoulder, nibbling at his scarf while Jon gently untangled the clasp from his locks, careful not to jostle his new friend too much.

"There we go. Here."

"Thank you. This kindness will not be forgotten."

Jon watched the bird fly off with his possession and wished his human encounters could go so smoothly.

Word did get around fast that he was a friend of corvids and provider of shiny things. Wherever he went at least two or three crows or ravens would appear within minutes chatting him up. Most of his spare change went to them and soon he found himself buying little trinkets for them to carry off.

In the weeks that followed Jon got out more and more, keeping to parks at unreasonable hours, driven to converse with all kinds of wildlife. He hadn't touched most of the statements he had been send, too fixated on the new, harmless ability he had been granted. This had improved Georgies and his relationship immensely. She had been worried that he would obsess over who could have murdered Leitner. Him going out and talking to various animals might not have been any less strange, but at least it felt harmless enough to her that she left him to it, sometimes even tagging along.

Jon had always felt it easier to communicate with animals. And this didn't change with his new ability. Interactions were simple and their stories were interesting, with a perspective foreign enough to catch his interest. Animals viewed the world rather differently, had different priorities and had less behavioral rules that Jon could mess up.

And they weren't shy to seek out his touch once they got to know him. More often than not these days Georgie would find him with a squirrel draped around his neck, a bird pulling his hair or a cat in his arms. He had even tried to talk to some insects once, but told Georgie with a look of disappointment that they didn't have the mind for idle chatter.

Like humans not every animal was friendly or even a good conversationalist. There was a white and grey pigeon nesting close to Georgies flat, who made for dreadful smalltalk and couldn't hold a thought to save its life. And Clara the sparrow loved to spew a litany of curse words at him, because she found they sounded funny.

In the end, however, his curiousity to learn more about his abilities led him to check out more of the statements and eventually, try and contact Jude Perry. They met in a quaint little café, opting to sit outside because of Judes flamability and Jons want to have a better chance of escape should anything go wrong.

Jon didn't shake Judes hand when she first asked. But after her statement and her willingness to give him the contact of an acquaintance he felt he had to. He reached out to take her hand when a crow dived down and crashed between the two. The ball of black feathers shook itself and snapped sharply at Jons hand.

"What do you think you are doing you lanky idiot! Do you not have any instincts left in your body! What are you?! A fledgling? Shame on you! You nearly gave us a heart attack!"

"I'm sorry, but you really should fly away. Your feathers are beginning to sizzle- Ow!"

The crow had squawked at him in a rather unbecoming manner for such a lovely lady, but had heeded his warning and flown onto his shoulder, opting to snap at his ear and pull it to get him to leave the firey lady, cussing him out all the while.

"I get it, I get it! Please stop assaulting my ear."

"What."

Momentarily having forgotten his audience in order to get the furious crow out of his hair, Jon send Jude an apologetic smile.

"Sorry. Marah seems to be quite against me shaking your hand. Ow. Would you stop that I'm not doing anything!"

"You can speak with animals?" Not even Jude - I'll burn everything you love to the ground - Perry seemed to be immune to the craziness of the situation. Her grin had turned from feral to amused. The air around her had gotten colder as well.

"Ah, yes. Wasn't Gertrude also able to do so?"

Jon had finally been able to get Marah out of his hair and was cradling her against his chest, patting down her ruffled feathers and let her play with the shiny decorative coins that hung from his scarf.

"I don't think I've ever seen her doing that. But then everyone Becomes differently."

"Becomes? Ah... right sorry, no further questions. I... I guess I've always had more interest in animals then humans. Could that... I mean that could be the reason."

"Could." She echoed him, eyes fixed on the crow nestled in his arms.

A flutter of wings made both of them look up and startle at the sight of dozens of black birds perched along the roofs staring down at them.

"Did you call them?" She hissed.

"No. It's not like I can control them. I occasionally give them stuff? And they make great conversation partners. I guess they're just pretty protective of me?"

"Fledgling." Marah huffed, winding one of his long locks around her beak and tugging.

"Ow. They call me fledgling for some reason."

Jude snorted into her boiling coffee. "Yeah that checks out." Her gaze skimmed the dark wall of feathers above them. People around them had become uncomfortable as well, hurrying to get out of the area. The waiter was giving them nervous glances, too.

"If it would ease your mind I doubt they'll try to attack you if you play nice?"

"You sound awfully unsure of that."

Jon shrugged as best as he could without jostling Marah too much. "I'm still not sure how all of this works. That's why I'm looking for other avatars."

Jude shook her head and laughed. "A Watcher not Knowing something. The world never ceases to surprise me." She took out her phone, which had a cracked display, the plastic scorched where her fingers touched, but miraculously was still functioning. "Give me your number I'll forward you some of my contacts."

"Thank you!"

"Don't. You'll pay me in cute pet pictures. Once weekly."

Jon smiled, that sounded like a much better price to pay than a scorched hand. "I'll do that. Any favourites?"

"Owls." Jude said without hesitation, then blinked and scowled at him. "You'll have to get a grip on that if you don't want Mike to throw you out the window."

"I'm sorry. I really don't mean to do... whatever I'm doing."

"Watch your wording then. Don't ask questions or whatever."

Jon sighed, holding out his phone for her to copy his number. "Right."

He bought Marah her favourite pastry as a thank you for saving him and promised to get her that pretty ring she had seen. It was quite expensive, but Jon thought it was worth it.

~~~

Jon was a bundle of frayed nerves when he went to visit Mike Crew. They had written back and forth a bit over the days and no matter how much Jon tried to coax Mike into meeting him somewhere more open the Avatar of the Vast never budged.

So here he was, sans crow support, knocking on the door of a serial killer. The young man that welcomed him in was only shorter than him by maybe an inch or two. He had donned a fake smile and was asking if he wanted some tea.

Jon didn't. He had a set of questions, hungered for Mikes statement. But Judes warning stopped him from immediately going for it. Drinking bland tea he didn't want was probably the better alternative to being thrown out a window. Not that that was still a very real possibility afterwards.

"I'd love to. Thank you."

Mike seemed surprised that he had taken him up on the offer. "Huh. Well then. Come in. I only have Lavender and Peppermint, any preferences?"

Jon tried to distract himself from the very obvious scar on Mikes neck by taking in the spacious flat he had just entered. "Peppermint sounds nice."

"Peppermint it is, then."

Jon trailed after him into the kitchen, a bit lost on what the etiquette was when being a first time guest. Was he supposed to wait somewhere? Go to the couch? Was he even allowed to take a seat before being told?

At least he had gotten better at small talk. True Mike Crew wasn't an animal, but Jon had found out that being nice was actually well received by humans and avatars alike. (What a shocker.)

"You have a lovely apartment."

Mike shot him what looked like a genuine grin. "Thank you! A gift from Simon. He's taking good care of all the new Vast avatars. Tends to try and adopt them, but I quite like my autonomy and the family parties he throws are dreadful."

Jon couldn't help but pout. The terminology didn't confuse him as much anymore. Jude had deigned to explain that to him via text, with a lot of gloating and bad puns. "I wish the Eye would be so welcoming. I swear for an entity that's all about knowing it doesn't tell me shit."

"Tough. You sure you work for the Eye and not the Web? Here. Come on don't just stand there like a bean pole the couch is a perfectly good place to sit."

"Good lord I hope so. I hate spiders."

"Cheers to that."

Not asking questions was hard. Jon was an impatient man, endlessly curious. And something within him craved Mikes statement. He opted to be honest with Mike about that, telling him without turning it into a burning question and the Avatar nodded in understanding.

"Alright I'll tell you my story then. Because you were nice enough not to ask and we short people should work together."

Jon hadn't been prepared for the sad tale that had been Mikes life. It seemed that he had only been able to somewhat settle down in the last few years. Being on the run for so long, Jon could only imagine what it did to a persons mind. He was only being wanted for murder for a bit now and the stress and paranoia was already killing him.

"Huh." Mike blinked when he was done, tea gone cold in his hands. "That was actually pretty therapeutic. I'm not opposed to doing this again."

They talked idly for a while after, Mike far less aggressive in his attitude than Jude, although he did lightly threaten him once or twice and gave him a horrible case of vertigo when Jon accidently insulted his taste in books.

Their conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door and Mikes eyes narrowed. "I thought we agreed you'd come alone."

"I did." Jon defended himself, fear easily flooding back into his body.

They both stood and carefully inched towards the door. Just as Mike was about to open it, mouth already open to scold whoever had dared to interrupt him, a chorus of loud hisses, meows and a surprised shout made them freeze.

"Jon! A Hunter is here! We've got her handled. Run!"

Not thinking Jon snatched Mikes wrist and pulled him away from the entrance to the flat. The floor underneath him seemed to give way, but Mike at least hadn't fully thrown him into his domain. He dragged them both deeper into the flat. "Shit that's Tonner."

"Who?"

"The police. I ah... might be wanted for murder at the moment. I thought I've been descreet enough. But apparently not. Sorry."

He didn't like that Mikes eyes gleamed with a newfound respect after hearing that. "Oh yeah. I forgot that murder was illegal for a moment. Who did you kill?"

"I didn't." Jon scowled. "I was framed. It was Jurgen Leitner."

"Leitner?!"

"Hmhm. Turns out he was hiding below the institute the whole time. Honestly he was a rather pathetic old man."

Mike tsked. "Good riddance."

"Quite."

Mike eyed the window as the cursing from outside continued. They both flinched when there was a gunshot. Jon lurched forward, running towards the sound, only to be harshly janked back with surprising force. "What the fuck are you doing?!"

"She's shooting the cats! I need to save them!" There might have been a bit of static in his voice, fueled by the panic.

An inhuman growl came from outside and a layered voice shouting "Stay back!".

"That's a Hunter out there!"

Jon only let out a pathetic whine. His cats. He couldn't leave his cats! But the arm around his waist didn't let him go. Mike cursed behind him.

"You're crazy. And weird. You owe me for this."

"I can pay in cute animal pictures."

Mike snorted and let Jon go, leaving him to open the door. As soon as Daisy was in sight there was a loud Pop and a yelp, then she was gone. Jon knelt down in the mass of hissing fur, hands stroking over every body he could find, frantically looking for injuries on any of his babies. They came to him immediately, butting against his hands, chanting "Jon!" and started to purr up a storm.

"I think she just fired a warning shot." Mike mused, pointing towards the ceiling.

Jon heaved a huge sigh. "Oh thank god."

Mike tilted his head at the strange display before him. "Are those free of fleas?"

"Of course! They all are perfectly well behaved, clean angels."

Mike rolled his eyes. "Cool. They can come in then. I'm sure they just saved both of our lifes. Might as well reward them a bit."

And that was how Jon joined an impromptu sleepover at a supernatural serial killers flat, drowned in cats and delightfully tipsy, because Mike insisted on drinking to not dying.

The next morning greeted them with more knocking, which was nearly drowned out by the screams of the cats begging for food. Mike shot him a tired look.

"I deal with the cats. You open the door. You only presumably killed one guy. I'm sure they won't shoot you on sight."

Jon really didn't think that logic was sound, but decided against arguing with Mike, who turned out to not be a morning person at all. Some of the cats came with him as he greeted Basira, who frowned at his entourage.

"I didn't know Mike Crew was secretly a cat lady."

"Ah no, that would be me."

"Right. That sounds more believable. I just came by to let you know that you're in the clear. Elias Bouchard is the murderer. We have evidence now."

"Cool." Came the nonplussed reply from behind Jon.

Both avatars (could Jon count himself as an avatar at this point?) stared the police woman down. Jon unsure how to either continue or end the conversation and Mike probably trying to glare her to death. By the looks of it Basira had suddenly developed a very bad case of vertigo.

She stood her ground, though, clearing her throat and staring right back. "Would you know where Daisy is? She came her to investigate yesterday and I didn't hear from her since."

Mike giggled, Jon sighed and the cats purred in triumph, looking smug. This did not reassure Basira in the slightest.

"Your feral mutt was making a racket outside my flat, Officer."

"She was shooting at the cats." Jon was still upset about that, bending down to cradle one of them against his chest. The good boy immediately began licking his chin to soothe him.

Basira just about held herself back from snarling at them, keeping her cold, professional mask in place. "And where is she now?"

Jon glanced over to Mike in question. The Avatar of the Vast grinned. "Enjoying a long skydiving trip!"

"I'd like to have her back, please. We'll need her to confront Elias."

"We?"

Basira shot him a glare. "Yes." There was no room for arguement there.

Jons shoulders slumped and Mike patted his head in faux sympathy. There was a scream from outside.

"There. Done. See you around Archivist. Send pictures not Cops."

"If I survive this." Jon grumbled, the cats trailing behind him as he left with officer Hussain.

Daisy met them halfway down the stairs and nearly lunged at Jon. Basira took the whole car ride to calm her down. A task that was made even harder by Jon, who was unconsciously bristling with static, still very much furious about Daisy trying to harm his babies. No matter how many times either of the women explained that they would never and that Daisy hadn't aimed at any of them, Jon could not be calmed. This was the only reason why Basira allowed him to take a huge orange tabby into the car.

Really.

#tma #jonathan sims #jude perry #mike crew #fanfiction #fluff #my writing #i will not stop writing until jon has befriended everyone #i just need this guy to be happy okay #also on ao3

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anxiousnerdwritings · 4 years

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Could you do headcanons for yandere Jon Kent (platonic)? I love your writing!

Yandere Platonic!Jon Kent

Thank you! I hope this is what you were looking for. I got a little too carried away writing this one.

-Anxious 💚

You guys probably meet at school, sharing the same class. And maybe you’re assigned the seat next to him. He’ll probably befriend you from that day on. He’s pretty sociable so it’s no surprise that you’d get along pretty fast. The two of you being the best of friends right away.

He’ll always make you laugh no matter the situation. There’s not a day that goes by that the teacher hasn’t threatened to move the two of you away from each other. The two of you would be quiet for a while but then the jokes, funny facial expressions, and laughing would pick up again.

He’ll often invite you over to his house to study and hangout.He’s pretty smart, especially with math. It’s been noted he can solve math equations pretty fast, being able to think them through before anyone has the chance to. So, he’ll definitely help you with class assignments and homework.

He likes spending time with you because you’re his best friend outside of being hero (not that he would ever admit that Damian was his friend too). There’s not way you wouldn’t meet Damian and Bruce. They are always around, at least Damian more so than Bruce. You’d probably strike up an acquaintanceship of sorts. Like you’re not necessarily friends but it’s not like he doesn’t like you either. You both are pretty friendly with each other, you more than him , but he doesn’t mind you. He’d probably make an off hand comment, complimenting Jon’s taste in friends, specifically you.

You’re probably the only friend he has at school and outside of being a hero. His family loves you and the sense of normalcy you give Jon. You’re genuinely a good presence all around. You give him the feeling of an average life, and he likes that. He won’t really understand it until the two of you are much older, then it hits him as to why he is so taken with you. You’re nothing like him and his family which makes him feel like he doesn’t have to prove himself or worry about not being a good enough SuperSon.

Don’t get him wrong though. He wants to tell all about the hero stuff. He wants to be able to tell you about his time helping save the day, or about what happened on patrol the night before, or how he an Damian kicked some criminal ass. Just stuff like that. His family is very adamant that he doesn’t tell you anything and that you stay in the dark about the hero stuff.

And he will, but he plans for you to find out on your own. He will say things here and there, making off hand comments or referencing things that have happened on patrol, and the like.

“Oh look Y/n! I always wear red and blue and super boy wears red and blue. Isn’t that weird, haha? It’s like we’re the same person.”

You two are pretty young though so most of it will fly right over your head. But when you do catch on and confront him, he’ll be so happy and relieved. Like it’s about time you found out, now he can tell you all about his day outside of school. His family won’t be too, happy about you knowing, wanting to protect you from all the danger that they have to deal with, but they can’t say that they aren’t relieved. Now they’re able to be themselves completely, not having to hide anything.

Krypto can fly around as much as he pleases now, Jon can show off his cool abilities, Connor and Clark con openly use their strength, and Kara can finally speed around the house and what not. Lois will even let you in on her newest story regarding the newest attacks, criminals, villains, and what not. Not that she didn’t do that before, bit now she is more open about it. No one has to keep themselves under wraps while you are around anymore.

And you’re around a lot! You may as well live at the Kent house. Louis has even jokingly offered you to move in, which made Jon ecstatic. You guys would be able to spend every day together, 24/7. But when he found out she wasn’t serious, he was pouty for the rest of the day, leaving you to cheer him up.

Even though you basically live at the Kent house, that doesn’t mean he’s not at your house just as much. Your parents absolutely love Jon. They think the world of him, just as the Kent think of you. So he is always welcome to your home. Jon will use that as his excuse to pop up at your window at an ungodly hour at night while he is on patrol. Checking in on you making sure you are safe and sound.

Jon has really taken to listening to your heartbeat, especially when you have sleepovers. It really helps ease him when his thoughts start wandering to you getting into danger or getting hurt. He wouldn’t know what to do with himself if anything ever happened to you, especially if it was because of him or his family. whether it was because you know about them being heroes or it was because he had hurt you himself.

He would hate himself if he ever hurt you. He’s still young and figuring out his own strength and abilities. He wants to show off for you, show you how cool he is. So it’s only a matter of time before you get hurt.

He’s also still trying to keep his emotions in check. He can be pretty emotional, he’s still a kid so it’s understandable, but that spells out trouble with his powers. If he ever finds out or hears, or god forbid sees you get hurt, he’ll fucking lose it. You’re the most important person to him, and if you got hurt, he wouldn’t let that person live. It would take Clark, Connor, or Kara to stop him. He’d take out anyone in his was just to get to you.

The more he gets into his protective and possessive state of mind, Jon would become increasingly more hostile about anything having to do with you. He’ll still be your loving, goofy, anime obsessed friend, but he’ll be more aggressive towards outsiders, whether it’s passively or not. He’d also be paranoid of other people outside of you and your friendship.

Even your parents and friends you’ve made outside of him, he’s become weary of. What if your parents want you to not be friends with him? What if they want you to stop talking to him? What if your new friends are trying to replace him? Oh, he’d be pissed.

He doesn’t want you to leave him. You said the two of you would be friends forever. No matter what. You wouldn’t leave him, right? You wouldn’t abandon him, would you? Even if others were telling you to, you wouldn’t right?

He’d think back to when his mom joked about you moving in, if something happened to your parents then you’d be able to stay with them. There’s no way his parents would just let you go into the system or anything like that. But if you end up staying with other relatives, he’d be even more upset. What if they take you out of Metropolis? What if they take you somewhere far, far away from him? Well, it’d be a shame if something happened to them too. And anyone else who decides to take you in, other than his family.

When you do end up living with them, Jon couldn’t be happier. You’re with him, by his side all the time. He doesn’t have to worry about you being hurt or in danger because you’re right there, next to him. Safe with him and his family.

At school things are pretty much the same as the two of you get older. You and Jon are as thick as thieves. You don’t even really notice Jon’s obsessive behavior, or his protectiveness and possessiveness. And you don’t take notice of all the people purposely staying away from you and Jon. How it’s only you and him sitting at one of the cafeteria tables, alone. Everyone else is as far as they can be from the two of you, but you don’t notice, only focusing on Jon. At least, he wants you to only focus on him. He doesn’t want you to see how you’re the only two in the courtyard, or how no one else will want to be your partner for projects, and how your other friends have been avoiding you. He’s glad they’re finally out of the picture, anyway.

Jon will even scare off any love interests. He’ll even pretend to be your boyfriend just to ensure no one else gets to have any of your time. He’s grown pretty dependent on you and having your constant attention on him. He wouldn’t know what to do without you or it.

If you ever bring up spending less time with him, or talk about hanging out with other people, even if it’s jokingly, Jon would freak out. I mean it’s not like you can get away from him, you’re living with him, but that doesn’t mean that Jon would let up on his possessive behavior. He doesn’t want anyone else near you let alone taking up your time and attention.

As stated before, you two are often sitting together in class, always by each other. And the teacher would always threaten to separate you two. Well one of your teachers later on in your school years, actually did, one of you on either side of the classroom. Jon was not happy at all and it didn’t go unnoticed. As the months went on with you two apart, only for this one class, the teacher took notice of the glares and dark looks directed to her from Jon. Talking to his parents about it, they just brushed it off saying how he’s just hurt that you and him aren’t sitting by each other.

After hearing that, the teacher started paying closer attention to the two of you and how close you were. Over time, she became increasingly uneasy about your’s and Jon’s friendship. Picking up on the unhealthy red flags right away. She also tried bringing this up to the Kent’s but they again just brushed it off, saying that’s just how the two of you are with each other. Always chalking it up to, “That’s just Jonathan.”

She didn’t like hearing that, so she continued to desperately try to keep the two of you away from each other. Or more like keeping Jon away from you. You were none the wiser but Jon, he was enraged. He didn’t like this teacher what so ever. She was getting in the way of something she didn’t understand. How could she? You and Jon were soulmates but not in a romantic way. You’re best friends and best friends can be soulmates, like you and him.

Jon had finally had enough of this teacher and her meddling, and so he was going to get rid of her once and for all.

While out on patrol he made his way to her home, having already followed her before, planning what was about to happen for a while. Jon wanted to freak her out, get her all stressed and paranoid, maker her have a reason to be scared. He wants to hear her heart jump out of her chest, hear the adrenaline rushing through her veins, and he wanted to hear the fear in her voice and see it in her eyes. He wanted to scare her to death.

He goes about making noises, breaking things. Causing the woman to get startled, jumping out of bed, quietly sneaking around to see what or who was in her home. He can already hear her heart racing and pumping adrenaline through out her body. After a few more agonizing minutes for the teacher, but amusing minutes for Jon, he finally gave her one last scare. Grabbing her he takes her out of her home, up high into the sky, where no one can see them.

“You should have stayed out of mine and Y/n’s business. Now you’ll have to pay.”

When he’s high enough, he let’s go of her. Hearing her fearful scream and her heart racing so fast, he knew she was having a heart attack. Before she could hit the ground, Jon grabbed her and flew her back to her home. She was already dead, so he carried her back up to her room, and put her back in her bed.

Getting home, Jon comes in through your guys’ shared room’s window, changing his clothes, Jon got into his bed across from yours. Looking at your peaceful, sleeping face, Jon is able to go to sleep himself, smiling knowing that things will be back to normal starting tomorrow.

#yandere jon kent #yandere jonathan kent #yandere superboy #yandere dc comics #yandere supersons #jon kent #jon kent imagine #yandere imagine #yandere headcanons #yandere superman

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plaggs-stanky-cheese · 3 years

Text

Princess of the Order Chapter 3

I wake up in a room full of darkness and 2 people in white jackets. All I am able to remember is Marinette screaming my name. MARINETTE!!!! I yell and struggle in my binds. My struggles stop short when thousands of needles are thrust into my body. I scream in pain, completely unaware of Talia A-Ghul watching in the shadows with an evil smirk on her face

Marinette's screams ring in my ears as the needles are being thrust into my skin.

" DAMIEN!

DAMIEN! "

"Damian!"

My head snaps up and I stop fiddling with my ring. I see Grayson all up in my face. " What?!" I say pushing Grayson away. " You zoned out baby-bird, we were asking about the bust you did yesterday. Can you identify any of the dealers?" " Yes, I can. It was Smith and Douglas. Now if you excuse me I will be heading to my room." I quickly get up and put my hands in my pockets by habit. Instead of heading up to my room, I headed over to the gym. I quickly hang up a punching bag and start.

Left

Right

Left

Right

Uppercut

Roundhouse kick

Repeat

I closed my eyes and repeated the routine. Flashes of the doctors went through my mind. I hit harder. Soon I notice that the bag has gone limp and unhinge it. I drop it on the floor and grab a new one. Since I had a lot of training with the miraculi I became more physically and mentally stronger. I kept going, each punch getting stronger and stronger.

"Damien look! A flower bud! Do you think that it will bloom in my hand because of the ladybug miraculous?"

" No Damien you silly goose the bunny hoop hops in the tree then comes out the other hole!'

" *giggles* D-Damien s-stop p-put the robes b-back haha"

" DAMIEN NO WATCH OUT!"

Someone taps my shoulder. I immediately turn around and punch them. " Demon spawn...you good?" says Todd, his head leaning to the side successfully dodging the punch. "-TT- I am fine Todd '' I grumble and head over to my water bottle and towel. "okay... Be ready Alfred will be leaving at 7:30" Todd says and leaves.

I quickly get ready and hop into the car. As Alfred pulls up to the academy I fiddle around with my ring. I momentarily slip it off and examine the inside of it. I read the carved message

"I love You Dove"

I stare at it for a while until Alfred opens the door for me. I grab my book bag and slip the ring back on. I climb out and head over to the homeroom ignoring everyone.

Damien had just finished writing his notes for class when a bright light filled his vision. He didn't flinch nor close his eyes. All he did was stare. He was then greeted by his Queen. He saw Marinette. Her clothing disheveled and ripped and scars all over her. Damien reaches out toward the girl and softly says "Sahib Alsumui, are you okay?" his only response is an ear-bleeding screech and a stab in the stomach

Everyone stares at Damien when in the middle of a lesson he gets up and mumbles about going to the washroom. He then walks carefully out the door, confusing everyone. Jon stares at his friend with worry etched on his features

The class finishes and the bell rings as a symbol of the class ending. All the students get up and head over to their last class of the day, Damien still nowhere to be seen. Not one student notices Jon Kent frantically calling Damien on his phone.

Damien bursts into the "Haunted " bathroom on the second floor. He grasps his stomach, gasping for air. He has had many of these kinds of...attacks but he never reacted to them much which left the question ringing in his head.

" Why am I affected now?"

But Damien did not let that thought run through his brain, no not yet. He gasped out in pain and scrunched up into himself. He falls to the side of the floor, right before his vision blurs.

Jon Kent cared for his friends very much. The sunshine child befriended almost everyone that he met and cared for them deeply. If anything happened to them Jon would never forgive himself, so imagine the fear that coursed throughout the half-Kryptonians veins when he checked almost every bathroom in the school and his Best friend wasn't in any of them. Jon's head was filled to the brim with many dark possibilities of what could have happened to the Wayne ward.

The boy did not have a care for his last class. It was art and he shared it with Damien, like the previous one. Damien could be back at art right now Jon, you're just being paranoid! A voice in his head whispered. Jon considered that idea and was leaning over to keep looking when he realized he had no leads. Jon sighed and made his way towards class, head down.

" Again." said the cold voice of Talia Al Ghul, my new 'mother'. I shook my head murmuring pleads, only to be stopped short when I felt the same agonizing pain that only came from having electricity shot through your veins. I knew Talia's plan was to make me feel nothing, and so far it wasn't working. I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists as my body screamed in pain. I could barely see the outline of Talia when suddenly everything stopped. My ears rang as I was forced out of the chair and escorted to my room. I gingerly step into my bed and look over to my ring. In 3 more days, it would mark the day I had lost my home and the only 2 people that meant anything to me. Marinette and Master Fu. I still hadn't read the message that was engraved inside the ring. My heart fell, heavy with grief and pain. I...I couldn't stay positive much longer. The chances that Marinette and Fu were alive were 10 to none. I didn't know how long I would be able to hold up without them. Life for me was full of pain, I had no reason to live. Suddenly a laugh rang through my ears. I twisted the ring on my finger, tempted to take it off and read the message but I remember the promise I made to Marinette, I knew I would see her again. I knew I would get her permission to see the message.

Damien jolted up, gasping for air. He looked around his surroundings not remembering where he was or how he got on the floor. He hastily got up and looked into the washroom mirror. His clothes disheveled and his hair a complete mess. He sighed and washed his hands and splashed his face with cold water. He then tried to flatten his hair and smooth out his clothing. In the end, he hadn't been too successful but it was the best he could do. There weren't any clocks in the washroom so he pulled out his phone. It read 3:30 and Damien let out a string of curses. School had ended almost an hour ago and all after school meetings had already ended. No one was there but himself and the staff. He opened his messages and scrolled through the threads, the string of curses growing longer. The chat had said

circusBOI: Damien? Alfred came home without you and Jon said you left class early saying u had to go to the washroom. U Good? we are worried

Broooooose: Damien? Answer please, we're all getting worried.

Deprived Of Coffee: Damien! Answer no joke rn this ain't funny

Ghost: tf are u demon spawnnnnn this ain't funnyyyyy broose made me get ready to look for uuu (but srsly pls answer im worried) I was chilling aaa

And Hundreds more. Damien raced out of the washroom before stopping at history class to grab his things. Damien did not stop running until he made it to the manor. He had never been more grateful for his training with the miraculous. Panting he rang the doorbell and rested his hands on his knees. A camera came peering out and Alfred's voice rang out. " Wayne Residence, How may I assist you?" " *pant* Hey Alfred, *pant*" " Master Damien!" Alfred said in surprise. The doors immediately opened with Alfred running out to help him. " Where were you, Master Damien? We were all worried sick! The other masters went out to look for you!." Alfred dragged the boy inside and placed him in the nearest chair. The butler disappeared for a moment before returning with water. The butler murmured something about calling up the other masters from the Batcave before leaving Damien alone. Damien placed down his things and hastily drank. A minute or so later Dick burst in everyone else not far behind. A string of " BABYBIRD!" " DEMON SPAWN" "DAMI '' and others rang out as his family and Jon gave him a huge hug all at once. Ignoring the feeling of hugging them back he let his arms go limp around them not bothering to remove them.

Soon enough they let go and Jon said " Dude, what happened? You literally got up and walked out of class mumbling about going to the washroom!" Everyone switched looks while Damien looked down biting the inside of his cheek. He hadn't thought of an excuse yet. He couldn't tell them that he wasn't actually Bruce's child. "Wait, Damien didn't even ask the teacher? daMIEN MUMBLED?!" Jason yelled out panic lacing his voice. Bruce sat down next to the most recent robin and asked: " Damien what happened?"

" Damien, what happened?" I stayed quiet. I could sense Drakes gaze over me. I can feel him analyzing his every move. Drake was the smartest of them all, so I am quite surprised he didn't notice that I'm not bruce's real son. " Were you attacked by a Rogue?" asked Tim. I think that over in my head. It could work as a good excuse but..it's too risky.

"No.." I finally said. I didn't know what to say. " Then what happened baby bird?" said Grayson the most concern I have ever seen etched onto his features. "I...I was actually in the washroom when I felt a prick at the back of my neck and then everything went black. I don't know what happened in the interval I was unconscious" I fibbed. " It must be the League then. No one can sneak up on Damien no matter how hard they tried" stated Bruce murmuring. It made my heart swell in pride happy that my father figure thought so, even if the statement was a lie. I was the best at the order, only second to Marinette. She was the best anyone had ever seen since the order first started and the first ladybug was chosen. Dick nodded at Bruce's statement and said " We'll keep a watch on them" then patted my shoulder and left. Bruce quickly told me to finish my homework before he, Drake, and Todd exit the room leaving me and Jon. Before I could say anything Jon whispered " You really scared me Damien. Don't do that again please" looking up towards me with a pleading look. A look that made me want to tell Jon everything, tell him that I wasn't who he thought I was. All I could bite out was this " I-I can't promise that Jon. I can't." Jon nodded in response and brought out my homework His voice thick with emotion, he said: " Well, wanna get started on this? I'll go get mine!".

Robin jumped from rooftop to rooftop occasionally grappling his way to the next building. Nightwing joined him a bit after laughing as Robin went faster in attempts to beat the first robin. Robin was mid grapple when he yelped in pain and fell through the air.

"ROBIN!" yelled out Nightwing before running over to catch him mid-fall.

Into the coms spoke Batman as he asked Nightwing what happened. Nightwing quickly answered panting, as he held Robin in his hands. He quickly checked his brother's pulse before saying in his coms " Agent A ready an IV and bed, QUICK!"

~~~~

yes its a bit shorter then the last chappie but it had to be shart cus yall gonna be getting a surprise soon and I had to work on that hehe

annnyyyywayyy

MERRRY CHRISTMAS

HAPPY NEW YEAR

MAY ALL YALL STAY SAFE AND HEALTHY LOVE YOU GUYSSSS

feliz navidad yall

ADIOS

#damienette #Princess of the Order #marinette #damien

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asknightqueendany · 5 years

Note

The Big Five (Bran, Arya, Jon, Dany, Tyrion) who will survive is only something that George R. R. Martin wrote in a letter about the upcoming series in 199-fucking-3. It was supposed to be a trilogy. There was supposed to be a love triangle between Tyrion, Arya and Jon. Also dany wasn’t supposed to have dragons in that outline so STOP using the big 5 to justify that Sansa isn’t an important character! It’s getting old and transparent.

I’m cracking up. Have you people even READ the original outline? No? I highly suggest you check it out before sending me asks on it again. You can see the original photos and transcribed texts HERE.

But let’s go through it because it’s a glorious Friday afternoon and I feel like taking some people down a notch.

The things I seem most about GRRM’s original outline as reasons why it shouldn’t be taken seriously are: 1) it was supposed to be a trilogy and 2) there was supposed to be a love triangle between Jon, Arya, and Tyrion. I don’t know where you got the whole, “Dany wasn’t supposed to have dragons” thing anon because according to the outline, there be dragons:

But let’s take a look at the letter. George states, “There are three major conflicts set in motion in the chapters enclosed. These will form the major plot threads of the trilogy, intertwining each other in what should be a complex but exciting (I hope) narrative tapestry. Each of the conflicts presents a major threat to the peace of my imaginary realm, the Seven Kingdoms, and to the lives of my principal characters.”

The first threat, George says, is the Lannister/Stark conflict.

The second threat is the Dothraki invasion, led by Daenerys in what George thought would be his second novel - A Dance With Dragons.

And the Third and final threat to Westeros would be the Others in his presumed last novel - The Winds of Winter.

Now, right off the bat, George has already used all the book titles, with TWOW in progress. On the show, we’ve already seen the play out and conclusion of the Lannister/Stark war. Daenerys/Dothraki invasion of Westeros has happened in the show. And the Others had begun invading the Seven Kingdoms at the end of Season 7.

So all of what George first said has come to pass, just eight seasons and seven books, not a trilogy.

In AGOT, things George said would happen was that Ned and Cat were doomed (✓), things for the Starks would get worse before they got better (✓), Ned would find out what happened to Jon Arryn (✓), Robert would have an accident and the throne would pass to Joffrey (✓), Ned would be accused of treason (✓), and Ned would help Arya and Catelyn escape to Winterfell (did not happen). HOWEVER - Cat never needed escaping from King’s Landing AND Arya did escape King’s Landing after Ned’s beheading - she just didn’t receive help from him.

George says of Sansa: she will wed Joffrey (no) and bear him a son (no), “and when the crunch comes she will choose her husband and child over her parents and siblings, a choice she will later bitterly rue” (✓ - Sansa DOES choose Joffrey over her family in the Riverlands and then again in King’s Landing by going behind Ned’s back to tell Cersei of his plan to send them back to Winterfell and willingly volunteers to write the letter to Robb so that she can still marry Joffrey (not because Cersei made her write it, she did it for Joffrey). Tyrion befriends Sansa (✓) and Arya (no) and becomes disillusioned with his own family (✓).

I’m just going to quote the whole letter from now on because I’m too lazy to type…

“Young Bran will come out of his coma (✓), after a strange prophetic dream (✓), only to discover that he will never walk again (✓). He will turn to magic, at first in the hope of restoring his legs, but later for its own sake (✓). When his father Eddard Stark is executed, Bran will see the shape of doom descending on all of them, but nothing he can say will stop his brother Robb from calling the banners in rebellion (✓) . All the north will be inflamed by war (✓). Robb will win several splendid victories (✓), and maim Joffrey Baratheon on the battlefield (no), but in the end he will not be able to stand against Jaime and Tyrion Lannister and their allies. Robb Stark will die in battle (no), and Tyrion Lannister will besiege and burn Winterfell (no - kinda).” - Winterfell does get besieged and burned, only not by Tyrion, by Theon and Ramsay. And of course, Robb will die during his war against the Lannisters, just not in battle.

“Jon Snow, the bastard, will remain in the far north (✓). He will mature into a ranger of great daring (✓ - kinda), and ultimately will succeed his uncle as the commander of the Night’s Watch(✓ - kinda). When Winterfell burns, Catelyn Stark will be forced to flee north with her son Bran and her daughter Arya (no - kinda). Wounded by Lannister riders, they will seek refuge at the Wall, but the men of the Night’s Watch give up their families when they take the black, and Jon and Benjen will not be able to help, to Jon’s anguish (no). It will lead to a bitter estrangement between Jon and Bran (no). Arya will be more forgiving … until she realizes, with terror, that she has fallen in love with Jon, who is not only her half-brother but a man of the Night’s Watch, sworn to celibacy (no - kinda). Their passion will continue to torment Jon and Arya throughout the trilogy, until the secret of Jon’s true parentage is finally revealed in the last book (no - kinda).” - though Jon isn’t a ranger, he goes on a ranging and is pretty daring. He does become LC but not succeeding Benjen, succeeding Mormont. Bran does flee to the Wall, but to go beyond it. Arya tries to flee North/to the Wall but doesn’t make it. Jon is tormented by a love because of his NW vows of celibacy - Ygritte - and does develop feelings for his kin - Daenerys.

“Abandoned by the Night’s Watch, Catelyn and her children will find their only hope of safety lies even further north, beyond the Wall (no - kinda), where they fall into the hands of Mance Rayder, the King-beyond-the-Wall, and get a dreadful glimpse of the inhuman others as they attack the wildling encampment (no - kinda). Bran’s magic, Arya’s sword Needle, and the savagery of their direwolves will help them survive, but their mother Catelyn will die at the hands of the others (no - kinda).” - as stated, Bran does go beyond the Wall, Jon is the one who falls into the hands of Mance Rayder, Jon does get a glimpse of an Other attack on a wildling encampment (Hardhome), and Bran’s magic and direwolf do save him from the Others (The Door - Hodor).

“Over across the narrow sea, Daenerys Targaryen will discover that her new husband, the Dothraki Khal Drogo, has little interest in invading the Seven Kingdoms, much to her brother’s frustration(✓). When Viserys presses his claims past the point of tact or wisdom, Khal Drogo will finally grow annoyed and kill him out of hand, eliminating the Targaryen pretender and leaving Daenerys as the last of her line (✓). Danerys [sic] will bide her time, but she will not forget (✓). When the moment is right, she will kill her husband (✓) to avenge her brother (no), and then flee with a trusted friend into the wilderness beyond Vaes Dothrak (✓ - kinda). There, hunted by Dothraki bloodriders (✓) [unclear] of her life, she stumbles on a cach***e of dragon’***s eggs (✓ - kinda) [unclear] of a young dragon will give Daenerys the power to bend the Dothraki to her will (✓). Then she begins to plan for her invasion of the Seven Kingdoms (✓). - Daenerys does wander the wilderness beyond Vaes Dothrak (after she hatches her dragons) with her Khalasar in the Red Waste. She does get dragons eggs, just given to her at her wedding instead of stumbling upon them (really, that’s just better storytelling on George’s part. If she had just randomly found them, it would feel too coincidental). Dany did kill Drogo but not to avenge Viserys; it was to put him out of his misery. Dany does use her powers to bend the Dothraki to her will (burning the Khals to become TSWMTW).

“Tyrion Lannister will continue to travel, to plot, and to play the game of thrones (✓), finally removing his nephew Joffrey in disgust at the boy king’s brutality (no - kinda). Jaime Lannister will follow Joffrey on the throne of the Seven Kingdoms (no - kinda), by the simple expedient of killing everyone ahead of him in the line of succession and blaming his brother Tyrion for the murders (no - kinda). Exiled (✓), Tyrion will change sides (✓), making common cause with the surviving Starks to bring his brother down (✓ - kinda), and falling helplessly in love with Arya Stark (✓ - kinda) while he’s at it. His passion is, alas, unreciprocated (✓ - kinda), but no less intense for that, and it will lead to a deadly rivalry between Tyrion and Jon Snow (yet to be seen).” - Joffrey is killed and Tyrion is accused though he wasn’t guilty. Cersei follows her son to the throne after Tommen’s death (which was her fault so she essentially killed him), Tyrion joins Daenerys to bring down Cersei, he falls in love with Dany (according to all of Peter’s interviews about his feelings for Daenerys), as Dany is in love with Jon, it seems Tyrion’s affections are reciprocated, and we don’t yet know if Tyrion and Jon will fight to the death. It’s possible.

So anon, I’d say so far as George’s predictions go for the entire series, he’s gotten it closer to his original outline than not. So please, for the last goddamn time, leave me alone with this bullshit that the Original outline doesn’t mean anything so far as Sansa’s character and I should stop referring to it. Almost everything George predicted he’d write, has come to pass. Perhaps not how he originally thought…but largely, it’s all happened.

Wanna know why Sansa’s a “major character” in the show? Look:

And it’s because of Turner’s strength, Benioff continued, that it made sense to give Sansa a dramatic storyline this season and to use Ramsay’s engagement for that very purpose. In fact, the showrunners first thought about putting Sansa and Ramsay together back when they were writing season 2. “We really wanted Sansa to play a major part this season,” Benioff said. “If we were going to stay absolutely faithful to the book, it was going to be very hard to do that.

D&D wanted it. It’s not George’s story or George’s plan. Dan and Dave like Sophie’s acting and wanted her to play a more major role. So they gave her that. It has absolutely nothing to do with the series as a whole or the endgame. Sansa is not a main character and she will matter very little to the endgame.

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mmazzeroo · 5 years

Text

Chapter 11: NED III - Why Didn’t You Want Me?

@helloimnotawesome - Finally chapter 11. It was really hard for me to write this and I’m sorry if it’s hard for you to read. Chapter 12 will be up in a few mins.

NED III - Why Didn’t You Want Me?

"I'm ready when you are...I think. If I could just get this out of my eyes."

He was watching his eldest son trying to fix that unruly mop on top of his head that they called hair.

With a frustrated groan Jon threw his hands up in the air. "Stupid hair! It has a life of its own. Let's just forget about it. It's fine."

"Here, let me help you." He stepped up behind Jon and tied his hair up in the back just like his own was. "There! All neat and tidy like you wanted it." He leaned around and smiled.

"Thanks, dad."

"No worries." He padded Jon on the shoulder. "You're ready?"

Getting a curt nod from Jon he turned to Barristan.

"Camera ready, Commander Selmy?"

"Ready as can be, Dr. Stark."

Today Jon was having his picture taken for his first official identification papers carrying his real name of 'Jonathan Dayne'. That would make him, and his children, the last of the Daynes - a lineage thought to have ended with the deaths of Ashara and Arthur and the disappearance of Jon. Well, once they got the legal thing sorted out that is. Once again something he dreaded telling his newly returned son. Why does getting your child back have to be such a mess?! DA Martell had offered to come join for this particular matter, but he'd told the lawyer that it might be better to just be him and Jon for now. He wasn't entirely sure how Jon would take the news.

Jon sat on a chair propped up against the wall by the door. Still just wearing hospital scrub-pants and a shirt, tie and jacket borrowed from Robb. Looking very formal and handsome from the waist up. We need to get him some clothes of his own. We need to get him a place upstairs with the rest of the family. We need to get him home! With just a few quick snaps and a signature, Commander Selmy was out the door again, promising to be back later in the day with all the documents.

"So how many people know I'm back?"

"Besides the family?"

Jon nodded as he removed the jacket and hung it on the back of the chair.

"Only Commander Selmy and your Dr. Tarly."

"Oh well, that would explain the Dothrakhi guards still by my door," Jon laughed lightly.

"In part," he laughed nervously. Crap!

"...and in part..?" His son looked at him expectantly. More crap! Remember, no beating around the bush. Just say it!

"Well, I couldn't quite figure out the legal ramifications of bringing you back from the dead."

Jon laughed. "I'm sorry I thought you said 'back from the dead'."

"You've been missing for 20 years..."

"You had me declared dead?" Jon had a disbelieving look in his eyes that grew darker with every second - as did his voice. "Dead! DEAD?!?" Stay calm, Ned, stick to the facts.

"Well, actually it was the Martells. With Arthur and your mother's tragic deaths and no known whereabouts for you they became the legal guardians of your ancestral home, Starfall. The law stipulates that, in such a case, if no heir has come forward after 10 years then the guardians automatically become the default owners of the property or properties in question as the case may be. In this case the Martells chose to extend the waiting period till your 21st birthday, but..." He looked warily to his son who stared back at him with such a look of betrayal he found it hard to keep the eye contact. "Currently Starfall is owned by the Martells, but out of respect they've left it untouched."

"Respect?!" Jon snorted. "You've got to be fucking kidding me!"

"I'm sure they'd give it back to you—"

"I don't give a shit about some stupid old keep that I can't even remember ever having set foot in! Didn't even know it was mine until now. Why the fuck would I care?" He was at the receiving end of one of the harshest looks he'd ever seen. I've woken the wolf in him. Sneering Jon added, "it's the principle!"

Jon was highly agitated as he paced back and forth along the length of the bed, clenching and unclenching his fists and jaws.

"So you just agreed? Just like that?"

"No, I...it isn't like that, Jon. Listen to me, son..." He held his hands up so show he meant no harm, but Jon wasn't having it.

"Son? Oh yeah right, now that I by dumb fucking luck managed to land myself in your hospital, I'm suddenly your son again? Huh?" He snorted and shook his head in disbelief. "Was I your son while I was rotting away at Pyke Island and Craster's Keep?" More sneering. Wait. Craster?! Thought it was bad enough when he'd mentioned Pyke Island a few days ago.

"Jon...please calm down."

"Calm down?! Why?? I'm dead aren't I? Can't get much more calmer that that!!" This is going worse than I imagined.

"Jon, just listen. Please..."

"Listen to what? You explain how no one bothered to look for me all those years? How no one cared to try to find me at all? Listen to that you mean? Yeah can't wait to hear your excuses for that, 'father'!" The last word clearly said to mock him.

"That's enough, Captain!!" Raising his voice had made Jon stop in his tracks. He slowly turned around to face his father. Glaring. Good, get it out son. Now talk calmly and evenly. He's a wounded animal, Ned.

"I know I deserve your anger." Jon snorted. "And I'm sorry. Truly I am. There's nothing I can do to change what's happened, if I could I would've years ago." Jon continued glaring at him. "I understand your anger—

"—no you don't!" His son was practically growling at him now. Good thing Ghost isn't here he would've ripped my throat out by now.

"Fine. I don't understand, but I do know the kind of anger you must be feeling. That impossible anger strangling the grief, until the memory of your loved one is just...poison in your veins. And one day, you catch yourself wishing the person you loved had never existed, so you would be spared your pain."

"Oh wow! You didn't just have me declared dead you actually wished me dead? Did you wish my mom dead too? Aunt Lya? Uncle Arthur? Huh?? Just so you could've been spared the pain you felt? Not selfish and self-pitying at all, Doctor!"

Jon was back to his pacing but there was a more aggressive edge to his walk now. A fury looming underneath, bobbling like lava in a volcano just waiting to erupt. I'm going to need Vis for this. Why didn't I think that could be a possibility? Crap on crap! He slowly went to the door, slightly cracking it open and in a low voice told Aggo to go get Viserys asap. As he turned back to face the room, Jon was standing over by the window hands resting on the frame. Amazing how anger and adrenalin can make his body forget how much pain it's actually in still.

"I didn't feel that anger you speak of, Dr. Stark. I had used up all my anger being dragged across the Dothrakhi Sea. Burned skin and blistered feet. They loved taunting me by calling me names like 'Ahesso' because I was white as snow, or 'Verro' because I growled like a wolf whenever they touched me. Every night at camp they'd take turns to pick one of us 'slaves' for target practice. For the first many months they didn't bother with me because I was so small." Dothrakhi Sea? Did we even look there? Did we ever consider him a victim of human trafficking? Oh gods!

"One day one of the Khal's sons picked me to fight against him for 'the evening entertainment'. He was maybe a year of two older than me. I was seven I think. Everyone laughing. Clearly expecting an easy fight with him just toying with me. Of course they didn't know that both Uncle Arthur and Aunt Lya had been teaching me old fashion sword-fighting. Of course neither of them had noticed me watching them every night from my spot in the shadows. So I held my own. He still won but it was a tough win for him. After that they only referred to me as 'Hrakkar' - their infamous and illusive white lion. Because I had hid like a predator in the grass they said and because I was fighting like it was a matter of life and death. Something they found endlessly amusing."

Jon finally turned to face him again. Those beautiful grey eyes had turned almost black with pain, anger, and betrayal. His mouth still holding a sneer.

"I learned something that night. I learned I could survive if I wanted to and if I was smart enough. I learned that befriending pain and violence can be a means of survival. A lesson that carried me through the hells that were the orphanage on Pyke Island and the so-called 'military boarding school' of Craster's Keep. Ever since that night in the Dothrakhi Sea whenever I've learned a lesson it comes with another painful memory. I've watched family and friends die, I've had to kill to survive."

"Jon, please, you don't have to do this to yourself anymore."

"No, I don't, but you need to hear it." Jon again sent him a hard look. No room for debate or negotiation.

"As a small child I was told there was nothing out there to fear. But the day I saw my parents brutally murdered I caught a glimpse of something. And, wherever I was taken next I went looking for it, searched in all the shadows. Until one day I discovered that that 'something' that was out there lurking in the darkness, that 'something' terrifying, that 'something' that wouldn't stop until it got its revenge...that was me."

"...you speak of your parents murdered, but I'm right here—"

"—because I thought you were dead, dad!! What I saw, what I heard didn't give little Jon any indication that you could've possibly survived. So when I talk about thinking someone would be out looking for me I don't mean you. For all I knew my parents were dead, so of course didn't expect you to come find me anywhere, but I kept hoping that someone, anyone would come. But...no one did. No one ever did! I might as well have been dead all this time!"

The pain was dripping from his son's tongue like drops of blood - and it might as well have been. His own or his son's he couldn't say, but it felt like blood being spilled like it had been 20 years ago in Meereen. He couldn't stop Jon's stream of words flowing like a strong river through the canyons. He's seizing his moment. He's never had the opportunity to lash out at me like this before!

"Do you know what it feels like to be abandoned like that? To know that no one cares? That you were not worth looking for, not worthy of being found? To know that the love and care and light and laughter you'd known were never meant to be yours?" Jon was beginning to sob no longer able to hold back the tears he'd fought so bravely all this time. "In fact maybe it was never real in the first place. It was just a figment of your stupid childish imagination! Because you're just a worthless piece of shit, a pathetic excuse for a human being who is not worthy of any form of love or kindness whatsoever!!!"

His son was back at yelling now. Angry tears streaming down his face. Glancing back over his shoulder he saw Viserys' face looking like he'd caught a big chunk of Jon's speech. Jon himself had given no indication that he'd noticed or even seen Viserys standing there in the door.

Suddenly Jon swung his head around as if something hit him.

"Why didn't you look for me then? Why didn't you do something? Anything? ANSWER ME!! Were you just up here in your ivory tower hoping, wishing, praying I was dead like all the others?!?"

With tears running down his own face he tried to find the words to answer his son, but there was nothing that could be said. I'm so sorry, son, so sorry for all the pain you lived through, all the hells you've survived. My heart is breaking for you, not for your angry words at me, but for you, my sweet boy. Thinking so little of yourself to be able to survive. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!

Standing in the middle of the room Jon stared at him with murder in his eyes. Wolf written all over his face - sneer on his lips, jaws clenched, fists clenched so hard the knuckles were white. Out of nowhere he started screaming.

"ARGHHHH!!!! I HATE YOU!!!! I HATE YOU. SO. MUCH!!!!"

Frozen in place all he could do was listen to the sound of his son's already broken heart being smashed again and again.

"Never a hint that you were searching for me. Never a sign. Not. One. Sign. Ever. And now," Jon's laugher was bitter with a manic edge to it, "now you want me to believe that I'm just to step back into this family like nothing happened? 'Here's your family castle, son', 'here's you're inheritance, my boy', 'here's where you'll be showered with love'. I can't take it. It's too much. It's. Too. Fucking. Much. I CAN'T TAKE IT!!!"

Jon grabbed the nearest chair and threw it against the wall smashing it to pieces. In the background Viserys' calm voice could be heard in the hallway.

"Nothing to worry about. He's just passionately redecorating the room. Move along people. Nothing to see here."

He felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking up with a start there was a pair of lilac eyes looking at him with nothing but sympathy.

Jon had collapsed on Ghost's mattress now covered in splinters from what used to be a chair. Curled up in a fetal position he was sobbing uncontrollably.

In a quiet voice Vis said, "I think it's time for me to take over, Dr. Stark. If you can, please go find Davos and tell him to bring Max, ok?"

All he could do was nod as he helplessly watched his son fall apart before his eyes. As he quietly closed the door behind him his mind kept repeating Jon's heart-wrenching words: "Why didn't you want me?"

#joneryssecretsanta2018 #jonerys secret santa #helloimnotawesome #jonerys modern au

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fedonciadale · 7 years

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Bittersweet - Chapter 10 - The vaults in Castle Black

I know that with GoT 7 being on, now is probably not the best time to go ahead and post a chapter of a slow-burn fic. But I have time to write at the moment and I thought a chapter with Bran might make up for some of the times we missed him on screen… Also on AO3.

Castle Black has changed so much. It looked nothing like the Castle Black of Sam’s memory, where he had joined the Night’s watch and had been so unhappy until Jon Snow had befriended him. The King in the North now. Don’t forget that. The castle was bustling with activity and Sam judged that there were about 500 men. Some of them sported banners of the Vale.

Sam was looking forward to meet Edd Tollet again, who was Lord Commander now, but the journey had not been a pleasure. Winter journeys were always hard, but when just a week after he had arrived at Winterfell the Gods had called upon the king in the North to come to Castle Black, Sam had been devastated to leave Gilly behind. Somehow the Gods had read his mind. ‘Don’t worry, you will return most likely, but you are needed’. Sam had not found this particularly reassuring, but who was he to contradict the Gods.

So, they had left Winterfell and the cosy great Hall and set out to go for Castle Black. Jon’s reaction to the call of the Gods had been peculiar. He had rushed everyone to set out and yet when they had left Winterfell, Ghost and the two direwolves Nymeria and Summer at his heels, his horse had somehow dragged and Ghost had been running back and forth until he had finally settled at Jon’s side in the evening when they had set up their first camp. His tongue had been lolling from all the running.

The small and sturdy horses with their ‘bear paws’ had made better speed, when Sam had expected and apart from the sleds, most of the foot soldiers had funny boards under their shoes that helped them glide over the snow. ‘Snow planks’ the Northerners called them and Sam had been impressed by the idea. Podrick Payne, who was a very unpretentious captain of the household guard, told him that it had been the Starks themselves who had invented them one afternoon when the King and Lady Sansa had been playing with the twins.

Sam sighed and looked at Podrick’s back. He was speaking in a very low voice with Alys Karstark. Again. They always thought that nobody could make out what they were talking about, but by now almost everybody knew about what Lady Alys was pestering everybody, and Podrick in particular. She seemed to have an absurd interest in the exact nature of the relationship of King Jon and Lady Sansa. Why can’t she just stop talking about those bloody rumours. I wish Alaric had never brought that up. Sam remembered that Alys had been very upset about this rumour when they had all been on their trip to Winterfell, but the reason for that was beyond him. And her behaviour was strange as well, sometimes it seemed like she just wanted proof that there was nothing whatsoever to be believed in that rumour, at other times she seemed to be after proof that Jon and Sansa were indeed as the rumours claimed, lovers.

“Why hasn’t he married, then?” Alys asked in a hush voice, that somehow sounded desperate and angry at the same time. Sam sighed and urged his horse forward. Podrick was a nice chap, but he wouldn’t say anything more than point out, that neither the King nor Lady Sansa would ever do anything remotely dishonourable.

“It makes a lot of sense, if you think about it.” Sam interjected. Alys looked at him as if daring him to come up with something. A long time ago her angry look would have been enough to make Sam shut up, but he only had to remember the Maesters at the citadel and Lady Alys’ glaring glance slid right past him.

“If the King would marry into one of the Northern houses, the others might feel put down. This way he favours no house. He can’t marry one of the Free Folk. The Riverlands are a shamble, any alliance to be earned there is worth nothing and certainly not worth losing the alliance of the remaining Tully loyalists. He would lose that, if he would go back on his proclamation of Eddard and Rickon as his heirs. The same is true of the Vale. The knights of the Vale were brought into the fold by Lady Sansa, the cousin of Lord Sweetrobin. They would not stay if Lady Sansa’s children were robbed of their birthright.”

“I don’t think he would or should disinherit them,” Alys said, her voice sounding angy. “But why can’t he marry? He must have,” she hesitated and made a vague gesture with her hand.”…urges”.

“No family would give their daughter to the King if they have no chance to see their grandson as King in the North some day in the future.” Sam said. “To proclaim his nephews as heirs and then beget children on a wife would certainly produce a succession crisis in the next generation and it would alienate the Riverlands and the Vale.” He decided not to press the point about Jon’s ‘urges’.

“But Sansa should not demand that of him.” Alys answered.

“Lady Sansa,” Podrick said pointedly. “Lady Sansa loves her brother and would not demand anything. I have first-hand knowledge of how far her loyalty goes. I was there, when she took down Lord Baelish. But she could not prevent the Vale standing up for her and her sons’ birthright, if King Jon would marry.” He glared at Lady Alys.

“Nor would he ever do that!”, he added, pointedly. “He loves his nephews!”

“Lady Alys,” Sam tried to calm Alys down. “It makes sense really. Lady Catelyn always feared that Jon Snow would be a threat to her trueborn children. King Jon and Lady Sansa show a united front and anyone trying to put a wedge between them would be bound to fail. They just ensure that there isn’t even the slightest possibility to do so.”

The look that ran across Alys’ face was very hard to read. Sam did not know, if his words had reached her. Podrick looked at him thankfully, and Sam decided to add one more thing.

“I agree that is an unusual arrangement, but it makes sense, even in the history of the Starks it is not unheard of. There were four Stark sisters who acted as regent for a Lord Stark who was under age and none of them married, so that there would be no succession problem. I must admit that I don’t remember their names.” Please, just stop will all these questions. You are making the Northerners very uneasy. Lady Mormont who had judged Alys to be competent enough to fight even though she had lost against Brienne, had even stopped to talk to her altogether.

“As usual the names of the women are not remembered.” Alys said with a disgruntled face. “And although even if it makes sense politically, I still don’t understand why the King has no mistress.”

Sam made a point of letting Alys hear his exasperated sigh. “The son of a mistress would also be a threat, especially since the king is a bastard himself.”

He was struck by an idea. “Do you want to be the king’s mistress?”, he asked in a low voice, and had the satisfaction that Alys’ face acquired a very dark red colour, if of shame or anger, he could not have said. She vehemently shook her head, but his question shut her up, at least for now. Sam first thought, that his question somehow had struck home, but when he looked behind him, he saw that Alaric, the ever curious singer, had urged his horse at their side and he looked like he had listened in.

But the damage has been done. Now, these rumours are floating about and I doubt the Northerners will ignore them all like Lyanna Mormont seems to do.

When they rode into the courtyard of Castle Black, Edd was already waiting for them.

“Sam the Slayer has come to gloat about his Maeser’s chain. It looks so heavy I’m surprised your neck is not sore,” Edd’s voice boomed. Sam dismounted and embraced him.

“I’m glad to see you alive and well, too,” he said.

“Alive… “, Edd said. “I suppose that’s true… At least I hope somebody would have informed me, if I had turned into a wight.”

The Lord Commander was embraced by the king as well. “Lady Sansa sends her regards.”, Jon said.

Edd nodded. “Tell her thank you, if you see her again.” His long face looked even more troubled than in Sam’s memory.

“Is it that bad?”, Jon asked.

Edd nodded. “Giant wights, a few White walkers, and he insists, that we have to clear the road to the weirwood tree north of Castle Black.

“He…” Jon said. “You mean, the Gods.”

Edd nodded again with a very guarded look on his face. “Yes, the Gods.”, he said.

“We will start first thing tomorrow morning, we have some fighters who haven’t seen wights yet.” Jon called for several people, Alys Karstark and Alaric among them.

“The Lord Commander of the Night’s watch is my second in command for this operation. Heed his words well,” Jon said. He eyed Alaric with a wary look, that Sam had seen quite often when the singer was about. “You wanted to make a song about the wights. Try to stay alive to sing it.”

“Did you give them the speech about how they have to hack them to pieces.” Edd asked.

“Of course, we trained every day after we broke camp. Still, I want them to talk to some of the seasoned black brothers.” Jon answered.

Even Sam had been included in the training sessions. His time in the Citadel had reduced his abhorrence of blood. But Jon insisted that everybody should train on a field that was put up especially, to avoid the ropes and sticks while fighting, each of them representing some arm or leg of a wight, that might still be moving with a semblance of living and intent that could mean the death of a soldier - and a new wight to join the army of the dead, if the battle did not go their way.

When Jon left them to speak with Ser Davos, Edd took them all inside, but when Sam tried to settle at the fire, Edd put his hand on his arm. He looked at him with eyes that seemed even sadder than a moment before. “Not you, Sam. I’m sorry there is no time for catching up with old friends. He told me to bring you to him.”

Sam was confused, but followed on Edd’s heels. In Winterfell the Gods had told him, that he was needed, and maybe he would now learn what he had to do.

Edd led him to deep down into the deepest vaults of Castle Black. Sam remembered them well from the time he had looked for answers on the White Walkers in the oldest books of Castle Black. I could have stayed here. I learned a lot in the citadel but not the things I wanted to learn.

Sam was very surprised when they came across a chamber that could be almost called cosy. There were no books, but a fire in the corner and a small child that looked almost fat in many layers of furs. She played with little wooden knights that were elaborately carved. The child had a small braid and was about as old as his own Melassa and Sam was certain, she was a girl. When she heard them come, she turned and ran to Edd and embraced him. Edd stroked her hair. “Little Cat, how are you, is it not too boring down here?”

“No, I have my knights” the girl said. “And daddy said, this time we only have to stay a few days.”

“Here is a visitor for your father,” Edd said, “but I might be able to stop and play a little bit with you, if your father has no need of me.”

The little girl turned to her corner with the wooden knights again. “Daddy already promised that you’ll have some time. Bring this visitor to father.”

She looked at Sam and extended a small hand. “Hello, I am Catelyn.”

Sam shook her hand and smiled at her like he would have at his own daughter. “I am Samwell,” he said.

Edd went to the door to the next room that stood ajar and knocked. A deep voice answered. “Bring him in.” Sam shuddered involuntarily. The last time he had heard that voice, it had been at the weirwood tree in Winterfell. There it had boomed and been faint at the same time, as if someone spoke in a grand room with an echo that was only a memory and not the living voice.

He almost dreaded to see the man behind his voice. The Gods?. Edd said ‘he’. What does this all mean?

When he entered the chamber, he recognized Brandon Stark immediately. The last trueborn son of Eddard Stark was sitting in a chair, furs on his knees and a bunch of books on the table before him as well as a game of cyvasse. His face had grown long since Sam last saw him, the child’s face had become the face of a grown man with too much worries.

Sam stood rooted. “You,” he said. “You are the voice in the weirwood tree. You are the Gods.”

Bran looked at him with green eyes that held too much wisdom for a man of his age. “I’m not ‘the Gods’. I never said. I am. It’s just…” he paused. “ … convenient to let people believe that my voice is the voice of the Gods. They tend to do what I say, if they believe I am the Gods.”

Sam felt like the breath had been knocked out of his lungs.

“How is Jon?”, Bran asked.

“He looks well enough, a bit troubled, but that’s nothing new.” Edd answered. “He brought Alys Karstark as you said he would.”

“Tell the men to be extra careful about keeping my presence here a secret, then.”.

“I already did, you’ve already instructed me to do that,” Edd looked troubled. “You don’t sleep enough, if you forget that.”

“Did he bring the singer?,” Bran asked.

“Which one is that?,” Edd wanted to know.

“Alaric, the man with the slender hands.” Sam interjected, having found his breath again.

Bran nodded. “Yes, that’s the one. Is he here?”

Sam nodded.

Bran breathed a deep sigh. “Good, even if it is somewhat dangerous. That man is too curious for his own good. Keep him well preoccupied, Edd, will you?”

“Of course, Lord Stark,“ Edd answered. “Where is Lady Meera?”

“Fetching some books.”, Bran said.

“This could be dangerous,” Edd said. “Someone might spot her.”

Bran shook his head. “Apart from our dear Sam here, nobody is going to look for books. Just watch out for the singer. Tell him tales about the Night’s watch struggle against the Walkers. He’ll like that.”

He waved his hands invitingly to the seat next to him.

“Samwell Tarly, sit down, there is much we have to discuss, and time is running short. I would have liked to have you here sooner, but I could not call you before you came North.”

#Jonsa #Jon x Sansa #jonxsansaff #jonsaff #jonsa fanfiction #jon snow #Samwell Tarly #Bran Stark #dolorous edd #actuallyjonsa

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thejustinmarshall · 4 years

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A Bicycle Crash

In my memory of the house, which is from when I was much smaller, the retaining wall was always around three feet high. But after three decades, and a little googling, I now realize there’s no way it was taller than 21 inches. Still, when I was seven and a half years old, it was a big deal.

I had a black and gold Huffy Thunder 50 dirt bike that I have in retrospect realized was a vehicle for many life lessons, not the least of which was learning how to get up a hill, courtesy of my mom, who would not let me stop pedaling and walk my bike on the way back up the hill to our house after little league practice; we’d just ride circles around a flat spot until my legs stopped screaming and then we’d finish pedaling up the last two blocks to the house. That was a noble lesson in persistence, which continued to pay dividends in many areas of my life for decades afterward.

This other lesson, via my Thunder 50 and the 21-inch retaining wall along the driveway of our house, was just about physics. Mostly gravity. The retaining wall—three railroad ties stacked on top of each other—kept the neighbors’ front yard from rolling into our driveway, which was just wide enough for two cars. Or, if you were playing basketball, almost enough for a high-school-regulation three-point line: 19 feet, 9 inches from the hoop, or just past the edge of the driveway and in the dirt of the front yard, under the branches of the big sugar maple tree. You could just get off a shot without hitting the branches if you stood right in front of where the three-point line would be.

I had seen my brother Chad (a year and a half older than me and naturally more relaxed and athletic in 100 percent of all sports we tried as kids) ride his BMX bike off the retaining wall with no hesitation or real effort, landing on both wheels in the driveway and then steering out to the right onto Cherry Street. I’m sure I assumed I would try it someday myself—it was just a matter of working up the nerve. I have since wondered why I chose the night before my first day of third grade to try it, and I have no explanation other than that kids who are seven are kind of dumb shits. We continue to be dumb shits in many ways throughout life, but hopefully recognize this fact early enough in life and spend significant effort trying to become less of a dumb shit every year we are alive.

Of course there are pivotal moments, and this is one. I pedaled around the driveway, then up the neighbors’ driveway, checking out the launch point, chickening out several times. I spent probably a few thousand hours in the driveway of that house, mostly playing basketball by myself, and in my memory, the scene there is always lit with the golden light just before dusk, as it was in this scenario, in August, when I finally got together the nerve. Nobody else was around, no friends peer-pressuring me into it, no one wanting me to hurry up so they could take a turn, just me, trying stuff by myself.

I pedaled through the grass, up to the top of the retaining wall, and expected I would float off just as I had seen my brother do, landing on the pavement and rolling away, a small triumph. Instead: I didn’t pull up on the handlebars hard enough (or at all?), might have been going too slowly, and rolled off the retaining wall, landing on my front wheel, toppling over the handlebars and catching most of the brunt of the fall with my face. It had less of the grace of a bicycle stunt a third-grader imagines, more of the grace of a load of dirt sliding out of the back of a dump truck as the driver tilts the bed up and back and the tailgate swings open. A dump, if you will, into a pile.

My family moved from that house in southwest Iowa across the state a few years later, so I haven’t been back to the scene of the crash since I was 13, but thanks to Google Street View, I can revisit it online and see where it happened. The house has been painted a different color, the basketball hoop has changed, but everything else looks the same.

And like a lot of things from my earlier years, including not getting sent to detention in high school (just keep your mouth shut about 75 percent more often) and dating (also keep your mouth shut about 75 percent more often), doing it better seems so simple in retrospect: pedal hard, pull up. As the saying goes, “Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from poor judgment.”

Of course, I didn’t pedal harder or pull up at the time, so after I peeled myself and my bicycle off the pavement, I went into the house with blood starting to trickle out of my face and my upper lip starting to swell. The first day of school started in about 13 hours, and I don’t remember exactly what I wore to school that day, but when I was growing up, you wore nice clothes the first day of school, so I probably did, maybe even a new shirt. But also two giant scabs on my face.

Eight years later, I went to high school on the opposite side of the state, and befriended a classmate named Dan, who had a smile that took up half his face. He loved to laugh, and so did I, but his laugh was so loud and bright that whenever I made him laugh in class, or in the hallway, or anywhere, I felt like I was doing everyone else a favor. And at some point, I told Dan the story of riding my bike off the edge of the retaining wall, landing on my face like a pile of dirt falling out of the back of a dump truck, and Dan loved the story. Specifically when I remembered that there were two women walking down the street at the time, who had probably seen the whole thing from about 150 feet away, which struck Dan as probably the funniest part, and once he started laughing at it, I agreed with him. Dan probably made me re-tell him that story seven or eight times in high school, in the lunchroom, in the football locker room, in the back of someone’s car when we were drinking Busch Light driving down a gravel road somewhere in Chickasaw County.

When you’re really young, you get ideas from some rather ridiculous places about what you want to be when you grow up. You want to play in the NBA, be a rapper, or have a job that literally only exists in movies, like a hero cop who doesn’t play by the rules but always saves the day, or a writer who can afford to live in Manhattan. Lots of us, at one point or another, want to be good at flying off things on skateboards, skis, and/or bikes, and some people do become good at it and maybe make a living at it. I didn’t give up riding my bike off things that day in the driveway—I learned to ride wheelies, went off a few small trailside ski jumps, and later, mountain biked proficiently enough to enjoy both of my tires leaving the ground for up to three-quarters of a second at a time. But I’m sure somewhere in my seven-and-a-half-year-old brain, I started to think maybe big air wasn’t going to be a thing for me.

By the time I turned 25, I really wanted to be an adventure writer, following in the footsteps of climbing writers like Mark Jenkins, Jon Krakauer, and Daniel Duane. For a long time, whether or not it was actually true, I felt like I should write stories about strong, courageous deeds, survival in near-impossible situations, the sort of heroism we find in classic adventure tales. Thankfully, there are room for other types of stories, not just the capital-A Adventure stuff I was first inspired by, and I have been able to make somewhat of a living from telling stories about the outdoors. Every once in a while someone will ask me how I got started doing what I do, writing about the human-powered things we do for fun and “fun” in the mountains and on trails. Usually I tell them about the first mountain climbing story I ever had published, for $40 back in 2004. But now that I think about it, that’s not true at all. It was probably dumping my bike off a knee-high jump in a driveway in a small town in southwest Iowa, landing on my face, and practicing telling and re-telling that story to my giggling friend Dan, hoping to get it just right so everyone would hear him laughing three rows of lockers away.

—Brendan

More stuff like this in my book, Bears Don’t Care About Your Problems: More Funny Shit in the Woods from Semi-Rad.com, out now.

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olivereliott · 4 years

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A Bicycle Crash

—Brendan

More stuff like this in my book, Bears Don’t Care About Your Problems: More Funny Shit in the Woods from Semi-Rad.com, out now.

The post A Bicycle Crash appeared first on semi-rad.com.

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seo75074 · 6 years

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Transcript of Letting Go of Perfection in Order to Achieve Your Goals

Transcript of Letting Go of Perfection in Order to Achieve Your Goals written by John Jantsch read more at Duct Tape Marketing

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Transcript

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John Jantsch: Would you consider yourself a protectionist? I certainly would not consider myself a traditional protectionist, but I wonder if there’s times when viewing my view of the world through other people’s lens has cost me, has held me back, has stopped me from doing what I was meant to do

In this episode of The Duct Tape Marketing podcast we visit with Petra Kolber, she’s the author of The Perfection Detox: Tame Your Inner Critic, Live Bravely, and Unleash Your Joy. I think you better check it out.

Stuff like payroll and benefits are hard. That’s why I switched to Gusto and to help support the show Gusto is offering out listeners and exclusive limited time deal. You sign up for their payroll service today, you’ll get three months free once you run your first payroll. Just go to gusto.com/tape.

Hello and welcome to another episode of The Duct Tape Marketing podcast. This is John Jantsch and my guest today is Petra Kolber. She’s international renown fitness expert and wellness leader. Also, the author of a book we’re gonna talk about today called The Perfection Detox: Tame Your Inner Critic, Live Bravely, and Unleash Your Joy. So Petra, thanks for joining us.

Petra Kolber: Oh my pleasure. Thanks for having me John.

John Jantsch: And I also forgot to mention that you are, you’re gonna shoot me, Scottish.

Petra Kolber: Oh, my god. You are so off. I am British. My dad was Scottish though. I have to be honest, my dad was a Scott.

John Jantsch: There’s a little Scot in your accent still, what’s left of it.

Petra Kolber: If you say so. Okay, we’ll just leave it at that, because my mother’s turning in her grave right now going, Scottish?

John Jantsch: I could have called you Australian.

Petra Kolber: That too. I’ll answer to anything John. If I’m just talking to you, whatever works. I’m fine with that.

John Jantsch: All right, so let me ask you this first. Is this book autobiographical?

Petra Kolber: Well they say you teach what you need to learn, so yes. For me it was autobiographical in a sense, but again for me the pain point of the book, as you know with sales and marketing speak to the pain point. That was definitely my own personal pain point for many years and I thought, if I can help people fast track the seven year process or so that it took me, John, to figure out that you don’t have to be perfect to do great things in this world, then I though it’d be a book worth writing.

John Jantsch: So detoxing is really hot right now. I mean there’s probably half a dozen books in every book store about it, and diets and what not. What does that speak to you think?

Petra Kolber: Well I did the name Detox to be honest, like we had talked about before, my background was fitness for 30 years, so detoxing, nutrition is definitely a piece of that and if you look at the books cover, The Perfection, Perfection is very lightly written, so I do believe many people who pick this up thinking it’s a juicing book, but again, so hey why not build on a cultural trend. That’s not why I called it that. Like with detox from anything is basically cleaning out the crud, and that’s what this book is about. It’s not cleaning out the crud from your body or your nutrition, but really your mental aspect and whether you’re gonna go for a job of your dreams, you’re gonna start that business you’ve been thinking about. It really is about, not what you’re doing, but do you feel worthy enough to even begin the dream and how do you feel about yourself along the process?

John Jantsch: Okay, so let’s start here. What does perfection look like?

Petra Kolber: Ha, great question.

John Jantsch: I’m probably saying that because I have no idea. It does not enter into my life in any sense.

Petra Kolber: You are so lucky John, let me tell you. So I do believe perfection means different things to everybody and I do believe a lot of people have asked me. Why did, this book as you know is definitely got the woman perspective, yet I speak to men and woman across the board, and many men come up to me and go, “Oh my god, you were speaking to me.” Perfection means different things to everybody and what I ask people to consider is, when you think of the word perfect in the three main areas of your life, self care, the relationships of your own personal family relationships, and your work. When you think of the word perfect, does that add joy to your life or does it suck the joy out of you? Because perfect and perfection is only a word until you attach a meaning and an emotion to it. So this book, this idea of perfect, you know detoxing from perfection, some of your listeners might go, “Well, hey perfect works really well for me in my business.”

I strive, and this is not about not working hard. This is not about wanting to be the best that you can be. It’s not about wanting to be the leader in your field and what it is about is how are you feeling about yourself when you’re striving for these high goals? Do you ever reach them, or they are so high where perfections become the basement level. Maybe we can look at different metrics and a different definition of success.

John Jantsch: So I work with a lot of entrepreneurs and one of the things that I see is almost rampant in that community is that they didn’t define what perfection was. They’re striving for somebody else’s view of perfection because they see somebody else being more successful in their view, or whatever, having more customers, a bigger launch, a bigger house, you know, whatever it is, and how much do you think that, that plays into it? Is that we don’t step back and even define perfection. We just try to hit somebody else’s target?

Petra Kolber: Oh, that’s so interesting John. Nobody’s ever really put it to me that way. Yeah, I agree and I think whether it’s comparison … I think we are comparing being by definition. We need to look at other people for inspiration and I think Jon Acuff was the one that said, “Don’t compare your beginning to everybody else’s middle.” And what happens, especially in this world of social media and the online culture where everything is coming across our feed so fast and if you’re like me, for many years I never had this idea that I had anything unique to say, so who was I to be doing a book, a bran, an online course and so whether you see it as perfection, like you had said, or you see it as a lack of confidence or the gap between where you are right now and where you want to be, I think it’s all about the same thing John. We start looking at ourselves, unwittingly comparing ourselves to others, and then out negativity biased, which is a part of our evolution, is automatically gonna hit on the things that we think we are not enough of.

Or in some cases, we think we’re too much of this and what happens is then, we then stop beating ourselves up and judging ourselves, and I should know better, I shouldn’t be comparing my brand, or my launch to someone else’s launch. The challenge is the part of our brain that’s the strongest, it’s not part of your character flaw, it’s a part of our genetic makeup and unless it goes managed and unless we notice these thoughts John, like “Oh, my god, their launch was so perfect. Or, “They wrote the perfect book, ” or, “Their online program is so perfect,” and unwillingly we’re comparing our back story and our struggles to what we see as their overnight success, which in reality is 10,000 hours of hustle and hard work, and failure after failure and iteration 2.0. This is when we get stopped in our tracks and so it’s where we stop doing, we start watching and then we start becoming paralyzed because we start judging what we think we’re doing to everyone else’s highlight reel.

John Jantsch: So physical toxins, are quite often aligned with something you’re familiar with, as a cancer survivor. How is perfection toxins, what’s that costing us?

Petra Kolber: You got some great questions John. You know what, the interesting thing about this, people often say, “Ah, it’s just a thought. I’m just having these thoughts. I’m beating myself up.” And now science is showing that these thoughts have a physical reaction, a chemical reaction to your body. So what we’re seeing now in this world of elevated stress, elevated anxiety, in the entrepreneurial world and in the life’s of our children, elevated depression, although with our kids, they’re saying anxiety is going up, as depression is coming down a little bit. Every time we have these thoughts, our brain, every time we have a thought of self judgment and doubt, or worry it’s not a status quo, it’s gonna trigger irresponsible in your body. It’s either gonna be fight or flight, or tandem befriend and this cortisol, the adrenalin, and placed on top of the adrenaline and cortisol that gets triggered every time we have an email alert, or a text come in our we have an argument with our partner, or work partner.

This is all having a physical impact on our body and our immune system, our health, our joy, our happiness, and so again, people go, “Oh it’s just a thought.” “Uh, yeah, no.” Because your body can now not … This is science, the science of neuroscience. Your body cannot tell the difference between an actual something we should be afraid of and go on physical defense or a thought where we ramp up and have this same toxic, like you said, toxic emotion built into our body and often to put on top of that John, this work is often happening behind a computer and we’re sitting and you and I just spoke about this before. Sitting is the worse place for our body, our health, our happiness, our focus, our agility, our resilience. So you put all these thoughts on a body that’s now static, it’s just compiled and exasperates to a magnificent and an unfortunate level.

John Jantsch: For the record, I’m at my standing desk right now as we record this interview. I want everybody to know. So let’s pick on social media a little bit now. So let’s pick on social media a little bit, shall we. You know my last interview that I … Who knows when people will actually be listening to these. They probably won’t come out back to back, but Dan Schawbel, Back To Human: How Greatly Leaders Create Connection in an Age of Isolation, and one of the main thrusts of his book is that technology, while it does enable us to do some cool things, it’s probably made us more isolated than ever, and I suspect that in the perfection game, social media is a pretty big culprit isn’t it?

Petra Kolber: Yeah, absolutely. I love that idea. I think the currency of the future is gonna be connection and I heard Gary V. speak recently at an even and he held up his phone, and he goes, “Technology doesn’t have and opinion,” and I was like, oh that’s good, ’cause I had become silently very judgy about social media and technology. It doesn’t have an opinion, but it’s how we feel about ourselves and how we decide to use it and what our intention is when we’re going onto social media, or any form of technology. So again, it does magnificent things. You and I are having this conversation across the country because of technology. My thought is with social media in particular, there’s many great aspects of it. It allowed me John, over the course of two years recently, to pivot my branding from fitness to happiness and now to this idea of becoming our best selves versus our perfect selves. Social media will allow me to do that without paying a PR company, yet we often use social media to deflect, distract.

We often go on when we’re bored, when we’re a little bit lonely and that is the worst place, the worst time for us to jump on, because then that negative bias, our inner critic is quick to ramp up and then start again, going into that comparison mode, and even though we know that what someone is posting on social media there, there are a million dollar launch, or that perfect this, or we know that’s probably not the exact truth. Maybe it’s a little bit highlighted a little bit, while our brain knows that and for females especially, we see the pictures going across out feed, with that million Instagram followers. Our heart has a really hard time discerning what’s real to what we’re seeing across our feed. So I just say, there’s nothing wrong in social media, but make sure you’re going on with full attention and with what intention. There’s so much noise out there. Do we want to add to the noise or can we elevate the conversation. Add things that make people think, make them feel good, make them want to share what it is that you’re sharing about your thoughts and your view of the world today.

If we’re there to elevate the conversation and make people feel less alone, than it’s a great thing, but then again I keep coming back to this idea of when you step off your time on social media, do you feel more joyful, or has the joy been sucked out of you, and then maybe it’s time to look at who you’re following, your intentions, and just kind of do a quick little detox on your social media too.

John Jantsch: Wouldn’t it be great if in your business all you had to do was the stuff you love, the reason you started the business and not all that administrative stuff, like payroll and benefits, that stuff’s hard, especially when you’re a small business. Now I’ve been delegating my payroll for years to one of those big corporate companies and I always felt like a little tiny fish, but now there is a much better way. I’ve switched over to Gusto and it is making payroll and benefits and HR easy for the modern small business. You no longer have to be a big company to get great technology, great benefits, and great service to take care of your team. To help support the show, Gusto is offering our listeners an exclusive limited time deal. If you sign up today, you’ll get three months free once you run your first payroll. Just go to gusto.com/tape.

So I probably wasn’t gonna bring this up, but you opened the door to it. Do feel that men and women approach this idea of perfection differently?

Petra Kolber: Yes, I do. I mean I think … This is why I wrote the book form a female perspective, ’cause while I’ve had many conversations with men, and I think the suffering is there, but I think it’s a little different. I think, and again, tell me, correct me on this John, I would imagine that sometimes it’s easier for men to compartmentalize their areas of their life. So my job is, I’m crushing it, I’m succeeding, my goal is to be perfect, and their like great, but perhaps your relationships are suffering, or maybe your self care is suffering, whereas I think women have a harder time separating their self care to their relationships, to their work life, to their family, so there’s more of a trickle effect. If I’m not feeling great in this area of my life it’s gonna kind of have a little bit of a trickle effect where I think, and I hope I don’t get a lot of blow black on this.

It might be easier for men to compartmentalize just a little. So while perfection’s working in their work life per se, maybe their self care’s suffering, or their family life is suffering and it doesn’t have the ripple down effect quite as much, and feel free to correct me on that.

John Jantsch: No, no, I agree 100%. I think society plays a huge role in that too. I remember when my kids were little and I’d take them to … I might have one of them, well I have four, so I might have had all four of them and I’d be carrying one in the grocery store checking out and you know it never failed. Somebody, “Oh you’re such a great dad.” And I wonder what it would take for somebody to actually say, “You’re such a great mom,” if my wife was doing the exact same thing. I think society really … You know, we have much lower expectations I think on men sometimes.

Petra Kolber: It’s a great point and again, not to do any bashing, but I think this expectation that women also place on themselves and the conversation is absolutely changing, a little bit, but even if the conversation is changing externally it’s really hard on the internal conversations that we have with ourselves to ease up the judgment and the self doubt in that area of our life.

John Jantsch: Okay, so we’ve talked a ton about perfection. Let’s talk about detox. Where do you start?

Petra Kolber: Well like with anything I would love to say with this book we start with the joy, but unfortunately you have to clear out the muck. So the first part is just clearing out what’s not working for you and it’s not everything, especially with perfection. Any kind of detox you want to keep what’s working. So you’re gonna keep the flowers but pull out the weeds. So I’m gonna jump back a little bit about perfection John, because there’s many aspects that you want to keep, you’re a hard worker, you strive for excellence, you triple check your work, you’re a great friend, you’re a great coworker. None of that we want to get rid of, but whatever you’re detoxing from, we need to get rid of the stuff that’s not working for you right now. So first bit is clearing out the muck. Then the universe in your brain does not like a vacuum, so you got to put something good in there and this is where my work and my studies with positive psychology enter in. Again our brains default ids the negative, so if we leave a space, then more negative’s gonna come in.

It might have a different voice, a different accent. It might have a Scottish accent, but it’s gonna come in. So we got to put something positive in there and then we want to really be robust for the future. So it’s kind of clearing out the clutter, the muck, which often has happened from our past. Cementing a really positive presence and then from that there’s actually sustainable steps, like creating new habits. As we know, it’s those many daily habits of small, small steps that create magnificent change over time. So how do we do sustainable actions, sustainably new habits around our thinking especially that allows us to create a flourishing future.

John Jantsch: Yeah, that replacement idea is so big. I just read a post, a friend for a long time in this content world and he wrote a post recently. He talked about how he just one day decided to stop drinking alcohol and it just turned into months into year and then he turned around and realized he’d gained 40 pounds and how to like, okay, now I need to replace that with exercise. I think that is so true of our condition isn’t it?

Petra Kolber: Yeah. I mean the thing is, it’s that familiarity. It’s that we’re gonna come back to a habit, whether it’s negative thinking, negative actions that we do, without even realizing that they are negative. They have negative impact. So again, it’s just … And again with this world of becoming, we’re in this attention economy where we’re our lack of full attention. So often times these habits, I think, the negative ones creep in even faster these days, because we’re kind of partially focus, we’re partially engaged without even realizing it. We’re think we’re multitasking, we know there’s no such thing, and I think that has an effect on our inner dialog also, because we’re not fully aware of even the inner habits that we’re maybe replacing, what we thought was a negative just with another negative. So again it’s bringing attention and full intention to all aspects of your life, which is exhausting. So it’s, you do the best you can with what you have.

John Jantsch: Well and you certainly make this point fully in the book fully, but I do think a lot of people when they kind of wake up one day and say, “I have to change something externally.” They really don’t have much success, or at least they don’t stick with it until they change something internally first do they.

Petra Kolber: Yeah, I mean at the end of the day you can want whatever you want. As an entrepreneur, a small business, you can have all the right desires, but unless we’re really looking at the why, what is our driver? Are we being driven by creativity, possibility, seeing failure as just proof that we’re trying, and there’s data in the disasters. If we’re not secure in our foundation John, where we’re building it from a place of, “We are enough,” not meaning there’s not a ton of work that we still need to do to get better at certain aspects of our business, but what often happens is, we can sustain these habits, because the foundation their built on is floored. It’s from an idea of I’m not enough. I’m trying to prove something. I’m trying to prove my worth, versus how can I add worth to the people I’m trying to serve. So again, it’s just with kindness and a curiosity, just continually asking ourselves, why I’m making these choices? Why am I wanting to do this business? What is it in the end that I want to leave? Our legacy. It sounds like a little be grandiose to say, but it really is at the end of the day, don’t we all want to leave the world a little better than when we found it?

That means that we have to continuously and consistently explore our whys and our feelings, not about just the work that we do, but as we grow and evolve and also one thing to make clear is, the closer you get to doing work that really matters, the more you’re gonna struggle with this, because fear is gonna show up, because it just … To me it’s a sign that you’re doing work that you really care about, but when you can flip that wear and stop worrying about, like Seth Godin says, “To be remarkable, means you’re gonna be remarked upon, not just the good but the negative.” When we can flip the fear about what are people gonna say about me if they don’t like my work, onto I’m afraid that I don’t get my work out there and maybe that one person their life could be made easier, by me sharing what it is I believe in, then that’s work worth doing. So, but again, it’s not easy. Our brains gonna notice the negative, the critics, the behind the screen warriors, but when we can believe more in our work, than more about what people think about us, that’s when we can take action behind our dreams.

John Jantsch: So let’s end on a cynical note, shall we?

Petra Kolber: Okay.

John Jantsch: Some might say that perfection has it’s benefits.

Petra Kolber: Yeah, no, again, I mean I never said it didn’t...

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Petra Kolber: Oh my pleasure. Thanks for having me John.

John Jantsch: And I also forgot to mention that you are, you’re gonna shoot me, Scottish.

Petra Kolber: Oh, my god. You are so off. I am British. My dad was Scottish though. I have to be honest, my dad was a Scott.

John Jantsch: There’s a little Scot in your accent still, what’s left of it.

Petra Kolber: If you say so. Okay, we’ll just leave it at that, because my mother’s turning in her grave right now going, Scottish?

John Jantsch: I could have called you Australian.

Petra Kolber: That too. I’ll answer to anything John. If I’m just talking to you, whatever works. I’m fine with that.

John Jantsch: All right, so let me ask you this first. Is this book autobiographical?

John Jantsch: So detoxing is really hot right now. I mean there’s probably half a dozen books in every book store about it, and diets and what not. What does that speak to you think?

John Jantsch: Okay, so let’s start here. What does perfection look like?

Petra Kolber: Ha, great question.

John Jantsch: I’m probably saying that because I have no idea. It does not enter into my life in any sense.

John Jantsch: So physical toxins, are quite often aligned with something you’re familiar with, as a cancer survivor. How is perfection toxins, what’s that costing us?

So I probably wasn’t gonna bring this up, but you opened the door to it. Do feel that men and women approach this idea of perfection differently?

John Jantsch: Okay, so we’ve talked a ton about perfection. Let’s talk about detox. Where do you start?

John Jantsch: So let’s end on a cynical note, shall we?

Petra Kolber: Okay.

John Jantsch: Some might say that perfection has it’s benefits.

Petra Kolber: Yeah, no, again, I mean I never said it didn’t...

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seopt58147 · 6 years

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Petra Kolber: Oh my pleasure. Thanks for having me John.

John Jantsch: And I also forgot to mention that you are, you’re gonna shoot me, Scottish.

Petra Kolber: Oh, my god. You are so off. I am British. My dad was Scottish though. I have to be honest, my dad was a Scott.

John Jantsch: There’s a little Scot in your accent still, what’s left of it.

Petra Kolber: If you say so. Okay, we’ll just leave it at that, because my mother’s turning in her grave right now going, Scottish?

John Jantsch: I could have called you Australian.

Petra Kolber: That too. I’ll answer to anything John. If I’m just talking to you, whatever works. I’m fine with that.

John Jantsch: All right, so let me ask you this first. Is this book autobiographical?

John Jantsch: So detoxing is really hot right now. I mean there’s probably half a dozen books in every book store about it, and diets and what not. What does that speak to you think?

John Jantsch: Okay, so let’s start here. What does perfection look like?

Petra Kolber: Ha, great question.

John Jantsch: I’m probably saying that because I have no idea. It does not enter into my life in any sense.

John Jantsch: So physical toxins, are quite often aligned with something you’re familiar with, as a cancer survivor. How is perfection toxins, what’s that costing us?

So I probably wasn’t gonna bring this up, but you opened the door to it. Do feel that men and women approach this idea of perfection differently?

John Jantsch: Okay, so we’ve talked a ton about perfection. Let’s talk about detox. Where do you start?

John Jantsch: So let’s end on a cynical note, shall we?

Petra Kolber: Okay.

John Jantsch: Some might say that perfection has it’s benefits.

Petra Kolber: Yeah, no, again, I mean I never said it didn’t...

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lxryrestate28349 · 6 years

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Petra Kolber: Oh my pleasure. Thanks for having me John.

John Jantsch: And I also forgot to mention that you are, you’re gonna shoot me, Scottish.

Petra Kolber: Oh, my god. You are so off. I am British. My dad was Scottish though. I have to be honest, my dad was a Scott.

John Jantsch: There’s a little Scot in your accent still, what’s left of it.

Petra Kolber: If you say so. Okay, we’ll just leave it at that, because my mother’s turning in her grave right now going, Scottish?

John Jantsch: I could have called you Australian.

Petra Kolber: That too. I’ll answer to anything John. If I’m just talking to you, whatever works. I’m fine with that.

John Jantsch: All right, so let me ask you this first. Is this book autobiographical?

John Jantsch: So detoxing is really hot right now. I mean there’s probably half a dozen books in every book store about it, and diets and what not. What does that speak to you think?

John Jantsch: Okay, so let’s start here. What does perfection look like?

Petra Kolber: Ha, great question.

John Jantsch: I’m probably saying that because I have no idea. It does not enter into my life in any sense.

John Jantsch: So physical toxins, are quite often aligned with something you’re familiar with, as a cancer survivor. How is perfection toxins, what’s that costing us?

So I probably wasn’t gonna bring this up, but you opened the door to it. Do feel that men and women approach this idea of perfection differently?

John Jantsch: Okay, so we’ve talked a ton about perfection. Let’s talk about detox. Where do you start?

John Jantsch: So let’s end on a cynical note, shall we?

Petra Kolber: Okay.

John Jantsch: Some might say that perfection has it’s benefits.

Petra Kolber: Yeah, no, again, I mean I never said it didn’t...

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Petra Kolber: Oh my pleasure. Thanks for having me John.

John Jantsch: And I also forgot to mention that you are, you’re gonna shoot me, Scottish.

Petra Kolber: Oh, my god. You are so off. I am British. My dad was Scottish though. I have to be honest, my dad was a Scott.

John Jantsch: There’s a little Scot in your accent still, what’s left of it.

Petra Kolber: If you say so. Okay, we’ll just leave it at that, because my mother’s turning in her grave right now going, Scottish?

John Jantsch: I could have called you Australian.

Petra Kolber: That too. I’ll answer to anything John. If I’m just talking to you, whatever works. I’m fine with that.

John Jantsch: All right, so let me ask you this first. Is this book autobiographical?

John Jantsch: So detoxing is really hot right now. I mean there’s probably half a dozen books in every book store about it, and diets and what not. What does that speak to you think?

John Jantsch: Okay, so let’s start here. What does perfection look like?

Petra Kolber: Ha, great question.

John Jantsch: I’m probably saying that because I have no idea. It does not enter into my life in any sense.

John Jantsch: So physical toxins, are quite often aligned with something you’re familiar with, as a cancer survivor. How is perfection toxins, what’s that costing us?

So I probably wasn’t gonna bring this up, but you opened the door to it. Do feel that men and women approach this idea of perfection differently?

John Jantsch: Okay, so we’ve talked a ton about perfection. Let’s talk about detox. Where do you start?

John Jantsch: So let’s end on a cynical note, shall we?

Petra Kolber: Okay.

John Jantsch: Some might say that perfection has it’s benefits.

Petra Kolber: Yeah, no, again, I mean I never said it didn’t...

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repmrkting17042 · 6 years

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Petra Kolber: Oh my pleasure. Thanks for having me John.

John Jantsch: And I also forgot to mention that you are, you’re gonna shoot me, Scottish.

Petra Kolber: Oh, my god. You are so off. I am British. My dad was Scottish though. I have to be honest, my dad was a Scott.

John Jantsch: There’s a little Scot in your accent still, what’s left of it.

Petra Kolber: If you say so. Okay, we’ll just leave it at that, because my mother’s turning in her grave right now going, Scottish?

John Jantsch: I could have called you Australian.

Petra Kolber: That too. I’ll answer to anything John. If I’m just talking to you, whatever works. I’m fine with that.

John Jantsch: All right, so let me ask you this first. Is this book autobiographical?

John Jantsch: So detoxing is really hot right now. I mean there’s probably half a dozen books in every book store about it, and diets and what not. What does that speak to you think?

John Jantsch: Okay, so let’s start here. What does perfection look like?

Petra Kolber: Ha, great question.

John Jantsch: I’m probably saying that because I have no idea. It does not enter into my life in any sense.

John Jantsch: So physical toxins, are quite often aligned with something you’re familiar with, as a cancer survivor. How is perfection toxins, what’s that costing us?

So I probably wasn’t gonna bring this up, but you opened the door to it. Do feel that men and women approach this idea of perfection differently?

John Jantsch: Okay, so we’ve talked a ton about perfection. Let’s talk about detox. Where do you start?

John Jantsch: So let’s end on a cynical note, shall we?

Petra Kolber: Okay.

John Jantsch: Some might say that perfection has it’s benefits.

Petra Kolber: Yeah, no, again, I mean I never said it didn’t...

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seo90210 · 6 years

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Petra Kolber: Oh my pleasure. Thanks for having me John.

John Jantsch: And I also forgot to mention that you are, you’re gonna shoot me, Scottish.

Petra Kolber: Oh, my god. You are so off. I am British. My dad was Scottish though. I have to be honest, my dad was a Scott.

John Jantsch: There’s a little Scot in your accent still, what’s left of it.

Petra Kolber: If you say so. Okay, we’ll just leave it at that, because my mother’s turning in her grave right now going, Scottish?

John Jantsch: I could have called you Australian.

Petra Kolber: That too. I’ll answer to anything John. If I’m just talking to you, whatever works. I’m fine with that.

John Jantsch: All right, so let me ask you this first. Is this book autobiographical?

John Jantsch: So detoxing is really hot right now. I mean there’s probably half a dozen books in every book store about it, and diets and what not. What does that speak to you think?

John Jantsch: Okay, so let’s start here. What does perfection look like?

Petra Kolber: Ha, great question.

John Jantsch: I’m probably saying that because I have no idea. It does not enter into my life in any sense.

John Jantsch: So physical toxins, are quite often aligned with something you’re familiar with, as a cancer survivor. How is perfection toxins, what’s that costing us?

So I probably wasn’t gonna bring this up, but you opened the door to it. Do feel that men and women approach this idea of perfection differently?

John Jantsch: Okay, so we’ve talked a ton about perfection. Let’s talk about detox. Where do you start?

John Jantsch: So let’s end on a cynical note, shall we?

Petra Kolber: Okay.

John Jantsch: Some might say that perfection has it’s benefits.

Petra Kolber: Yeah, no, again, I mean I never said it didn’t...

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