#i’m gonna fucking cry over them

[agentplutonium]

i’m physically going insane thinking about Milo/Sweetheart right now. Cause like. Do you know what I want to see? That passion that the two of them share but softer, y’know? These guys spent six years together and they still have the same spark for each other that they had when they first met. I get that these guys are known as the sluts (affectionate) basically, but like. I don’t know if I’m able to say it any other way than softer.

I want. Domestic them. Not saying they’re not already domestic, but I want to see soft domestic them. I want to see them not be able to get their hands off of each other, but it’s just them holding each other. It’s just them brushing a hand along an arm or a back as they pass by each other while doing chores. It’s them tangled together, a season and a half deep into a drama show that they said they’d “just watch one or two episodes of.” I want to see hands held, arms linked, an arm around the other while they’re out in public. I want to see them kiss any part of the others body they can reach at any time. I want to see quick pecks of kisses while passing. I want to see slow, burning kisses, because one heart was to full to take it anymore. A kiss full of admiration, and attraction, and love that it makes anyone who hears about it sick.

I want flushed skin at the random touches. Heart speeding up just a tad when they’re close. Lingering touches. Lingering gazes. Watching each other in full fascination when the other isn’t looking. Pupils dilating when they catch sight of the other, no mater the circumstances. I want to see soothing hands against aching muscles, rubbing anywhere they can, melting the stress from the others body.

This goes both ways too. Cause, yeah, Milo is great, and he’s so good to Sweetheart, but Sweetheart is a dotter to. They know when Milo needs help relaxing, and half the time they benefit from the rest as well.

I’m going to write a fic one day that embodies exactly what I’m talking about and then I’m gonna retire from the redacted fandom me thinks (/j). God i need this fic so bad and I want to write it so bad. one day, mark my fucking words cause i cannot get enough of this

#guys genuinely cannot rn #i’m so #i am projecting so hard cause i want a relationship like theirs #but my point still stands #milo and sweetheart my beloved #i’m gonna fucking cry over them #i love them so much please #redacted audio #plutonium_rambles #redacted audio milo #redacted audio sweetheart #redacted milo #redacted sweetheart #redacted headcanons #redactedverse

[dani-dabbles]

From “I can’t stand him”

To “I can’t lose him”

#I’m fucking​ emotional over these two #I’m gonna be crying over them for the next few months #minimum #they feel forever about each other #rwrb movie #rwrb #rwrb cast #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #red white and royal blue movie #red white and royal blue #character development #alex and henry #taylor zakhar perez #nick galitzine #history huh? bet I can post some

[the-crimson]

Aight thoughts on todays bbh lore cuz we got A LOT. Just stay with me through my nerding about trees it’ll be worth it XD

We pretty much got 100% confirmation that he is intentionally hurting Baghera and Forever and that he thinks of himself as expendable. What fascinates me the most is when Bad asked Foolish this

“Is there anything wrong with burning the forest to save the trees?”

At first glance you might think YES if u burn the forest then there won’t be any trees??!! However it is a custom on fire risk zones to create controlled fires that burn up brush and dead trees so that the risk of a natural and far more devastating fire is reduced. Additionally, if a fungus infects a forest, burning the infected trees may be the only way to prevent the spread to the rest of the forest.

On top of that, there is a specific type of tree species that requires fires in order to reproduce. These are often Pine trees that drop pinecones. Pinecones hold seeds inside them that only germinate when immense heat is applied to them: the heat of a forest fire. When they are within these temperatures, the seeds germinate and the pine cones pop, scattering the seeds on the forest floor. These trees adapted to form a symbiotic relationship with fire one of if not the most destructive natural forces on the earth.

Do you know one of the trees that has developed this adaption? Redwoods.

Do you know which tree bbh brought up when giving Jaiden a PINECONE gift for her birthday today? A Redwood.

I’m like actually going insane. This can’t be a coincidence right????? I’m not going crazy right???

The whole reason I noticed this scene is because I live near the redwood forests in California and I know all about the way these trees depend on fires for their survival. It’s something that’s always fascinated me. That’s when I assume Bad was going to ask foolish the above question before Jaiden and Teana cut their conversation short while they were talking on the Titian . He literally had these specific trees on his mind when he was going to ask about burning down the forest.

Let me tell you another thing about Redwood trees. They are ancient. They are massive. They are sturdy. Natural fires are a common phenomenon here and a majority of the redwoods survive with barely a scratch, maybe an inch or two of its outer bark scorched. Nothing it won’t grow past in a year or two when these trees easily live for 500+ years.

(Side note, if there is one place in America you should visit it’s the redwood forests of California. It is literally like entering a portal to another world. These trees are 10-15 ft in diameter easily and you can just feel how ancient the forests are. It’s one of my all time favorite places to go)

So, in the situation Bad is proposing, burning the forest to save the trees, he is actively thinking about Redwoods in this hypothetical. Not only trees that are extremely resistant to fire but trees that depend on fire to survive. That completely changes the way he is approaching this question.

In his hypothetical, the forest will burn. The animals will die. The brush and non redwoods will turn to ash. The land will be scarred and the trees themselves may look dead, branchless and black. But. But. A season will pass and new branches will peel through the charcoal. Seeds deep in the soil will surge forth as the soil is fed nutrients from the ash. Animals will return. Pinecones will shed their fertilized seeds to give birth to a new generation of trees. And by next year, the forest will look just as vibrant as it had before the fire. Trees may bear the scars of the flames but life continues and it continues and it continues always.

I might actually be going crazy bbh makes me crazy cc!bbh makes me crazy I’m losing my mind

#qsmp #crimson speaks #badboyhalo #look #biology and ecosystems was a major hyperfixation in high school #like science in general has been one of my special interests since I was a baby #and I just so happen to have an intimate knowledge of redwood in particular #cuz I used to spend my summers camping in these forests #also #don’t tell me they are called sequoias #we use redwood and sequoia interchangeably #and I grew up calling them redwoods #but seriously I’m actually losing it over BBH’s lore today #he planted that pinecone and redwood mention INTENTIONALLY #KNOWING HE WAS GONNA ASK FOOLISH ABOUT BURNING THE TREES #AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHA #SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP #he’s so fucking insane #and amazing at planting and pay off #omfg

[aroace-polyshow]

mmmm. more hw thoughts to distract myself. tsukasa’s good at cooking and packs lunches for his siblings and himself ofc, but once he meets rui he also starts bringing homemade lunches to school for him. and also sends stuff back with rui for nene so neither of them are eating nothing but frozen meals or not eating at all. eventually once the group is closer and they start having sleepovers tsukasa brings food for all of them every single time. its a game to guess what he’s going to bring now. in general i like to think one of tsukasa’s love languages is acts of service and it very much applies to hw. no one is ever starving w/ chef tsukasa around. he loves his friends <3

#marlo’s stuff #hollow ☆ wonderland #the first time tsukasa brings rui a lunch he nearly cries btw #HE ALSO LEAVES LITTLE NOTES AND MAKES THE FOOD LOOK SUPER CUTE. it’s a habit since he does it so often for saki and toya #nene gets her meal for the first time and its shaped like a jellyfish and she just stares at it for a bit. #and she feels so happy and warm and she’s sure its the best food she’s eaten in forever #no one is hungry on tsukasa’s watch. someone mentions they’re hungry on voice chat and he immediately calls them into sekai #to give them some food. or just fucking goes over to their house. #thinking about gaining weight as a sign of healing btw. that happens to rui and nene here. augh. they all love each other so much #i’m gonna cry

[the-maladjustedjester]

I probably think this every time but legitimately season 7 is my favorite of all time now. I loved the stories they had, I loved the character development Rick’s been inching through, I could’ve had more Jerry but that’s my critique every season bc I have a fucking problem… the emotional connections and relationships were satisfying and felt real, and I love seeing Rick getting his ass handed to him every episode. It finally feels like he’s slowly clawing his way out of the hole he’s spent his entire life digging. And damn if the last scene didn’t make me tear up with an unexpectedness I hate to love.

#I thought we’d be going the adrenaline junkie route for sure #after killing his nemesis finally he needs something else to cling to #but god the choice at the end to choose morty instead broke me #also I swear these writers are reading my diary #our flag and Rick and morty both going the exact way I was imagining #either that or we should get them on some medication bc this has been the year of suicidal ideation for me #and that being reflected onscreen might be a cause for concern #anyway I’m gonna go sit an a corner and rage over the fact that I’m crying over Rick and fucking Morty #it’s so embarrassing to have interests

[frecklystars]

I’m so sad I won’t be able to watch the Oscars until I’m home from my trip in the third week of March ☠️ the whole world would have seen I’m Just Ken by then and I’ll be left behind 😭😭

And it’s not just “wah im gonna miss a show” bc I don’t rly care about the show itself necessarily. This is my main F/O and I won’t be able to see him but other ppl will. I have felt so disconnected from Ken. I’ve gotten a handful of inbox messages where ppl say “oh i have him call ME his sweet girl now because of your comic” or ppl will tag my ship art with Ken as “oh that’s ME and Ken” and it hurts. I’ve said multiple times I’m not comfortable sharing F/Os but ppl just? Don’t care?? My self insert isn’t somebody for you to project onto, holy shit why is that so hard for some ppl to comprehend

Now when he calls me sweet girl in my fics/drawings I don’t feel anything anymore, I’ve tried making comics and I feel absolutely nothing from him, it doesn’t feel special anymore bc so many people keep self projecting onto my self insert as if she were an “x reader” experience. I’ve felt disconnected from Ken for a couple of weeks now and I’ve been trying so hard to feel good with him again but I can’t. I’m so numb. I don’t want to lose him and the fact that the self shippers who openly project onto my stuff will see him singing live, but I won’t, feels like another major step backwards away from him, if that makes sense. My ship with him doesn’t feel special anymore. I need these characters so badly, I don’t have anybody else if I don’t have my Ryan F/Os and I don’t want to go back to months ago when I had absolutely nothing to hold onto and I was fighting every day just to stay alive. I’ve had special interests completely ripped from me due to abuse and I can’t go back to feeling as bad as I did last year, I had never felt worse and I’m so scared of feeling that way again. I need my F/Os I need Ken and I’m so far away from him now I don’t feel his love for me anymore and it’s terrifying bc last year was the worst year of my entire life and I don’t want to go through my flashbacks and nightmares all by myself, I don’t want to go back to constantly planning my own demise when my trauma was so fresh and I had nothing to comfort me. I jolted awake from more ptsd nightmares today, which has been nearly an everyday ordeal for a year, and I wanted to think of Ken comforting me like I usually do but I didn’t have the heart to do so. I feel so unloved and replaceable the way ppl easily replace my S/I in all of my posts, I don’t believe he’d care for me anymore.

I keep having meltdowns bc the thought of losing F/Os all over again during a time when I’m STILL in such an unsafe situation shakes me up so bad and I don’t know how to solve this problem. I need him with me I need comfort from these characters but I don’t feel connected with them anymore bc I’ve associated them with a dozen other people. At this point I’m not really upset about missing Im Just Ken, im upset about the fact i just feel nothing whatsoever and watching that live could have helped a little but I won’t be able to access it until other people have already seen it, and it won’t feel special anymore. And my ship with him just in general doesn’t feel special anymore, none of them do, and I’m scared and devastated and I don’t know how to fix it

#vent #whatever I’ll just cry about it and delete this later #I don’t want to fucking hard block every self shipper who dumps their tags onto my posts but god. you just don’t do that!!! #it’s common courtesy!!! i can’t share f/os I’m fucking sorry I can’t bc then I’m gonna lose them!!!! and I lost *everything* last year #I can’t lose Ken too but I’m scared I already did #and I want to go offline but I can’t I have to do commissions 😭 because I’m broke asf I can’t afford groceries #I wanna rip my hair out #ppl who didnt follow me last year + didn’t see how bad I was doing May-July have no idea #‘I wanted to die I felt so bad I was unsafe and stalked’ is a fucking understatement and I lost F/Os who were so important to me #and the idea of losing Barbie/Ken scares me to death #I don’t want to go back to feeling as horrible as I was 7 months ago I can’t do it. i can’t do it but I feel him slipping from me #and I wouldn’t if ppl just!!! would stop!!!! tagging my OWN ART as their self ship!!! tagging my stuff as theirs!!! #putting ship tags all over my own posts that are personal to me my god please I’m so tired

[transboykirito]

you people are fucking insane

#i know who this is btw they’ve made 4 blogs just to harass me after i block them #i was gonna end up crying myself to sleep tonight anyway so thank you for the material to help with that. #literally what’s the point. why do i do any of this. #why do i bother writing anything when it’s just going to be compared to someone else. #why do i bother editing when the fandom is dead except for harassing me. #who do i bother getting sober and getting clean and going through all of that bullshit. #why do i bother bending over backwards to be nice to people who send me this. and worse. #i’m not even posting the really bad ones i got tonight. that described my mutuals assaulting me in graphic detail. #people i love and care about and consider friends. who i already worry don’t actually like me. #i’ve spent all day stressing myself sick over the absolute terror of someone not loving me. and then this. #and you people know that. you know exactly where i’m vulnerable and you know how to attack it. #i’m done. i’m so fucking done. i can’t do this shit anymore.

[twinksintrees]

i’m so tired all i wanna do is cry

#i feel. Bad #i’ve felt off almost all day #i hate rhis #this #i don’t like change i don’t want my show to be over #fuck #i know i will go back and do more shows and i’m not scared of losing that #i’m just #attached to This show and the routine i’ve built around it and i’m prepared for That to be over #i’m gonna cry fuck this #saturday is going to destroy me #ramblings of a henry #in other news theater people are the best people #i love everyone so much #the crew is so sweet and welcoming and i feel so fucking supported and at home already #i’m going to miss everyone so fucking much #i know i’ll see them again but still. i’ll miss them :(

[arionawrites]

1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!

2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr

3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!

overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!

#aritalks #i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use #not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before #and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk #but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day! #the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow #also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years #(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years #and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk) #was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!! #i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight #so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday #my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work #my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all #over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins) #but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered #(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting #when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so #just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my #mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19) #so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her #and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too #i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure #out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still #dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not #the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one #if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it #but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help #and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks #just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️

[starbuck]

where did my productive phase go? i miss her…

#over the summer when i was just doing literally EVERYTHING and it was somehow fine… #of course i was taking two courses then - not fucking FOUR #which absolutely makes the difference… #i think i’m just overwhelmed to the point that EVERYTHING feels like a hassle even if it’s really not… #EVERYTHING is a ‘dragging my feet and groaning and crying’ type of situation even if it absolutely does not need to be #which is gonna hopefully be better once i’m no longer taking four courses at once #and just generally once March and all my BIG responsibilities are over #but right now it’s just like ugghhhhhhhh #whyyyyyyyyyyy #if i could take some classes i CARE about - that would be GREAT… #at least all my professors seem nice and normal this semester #i seem to be charming them so far - which is good #i usually do #and good grades up front means less anxiety later #so we are Getting Through It #just not HAPPILY…

[boyczar]

please remember that it is a compliment to be disliked by people. most people don’t even like themselves. think about why you even want to be liked by somebody. why do YOU like YOURSELF?? why give a fuck about whether or not somebody with so much work to do on themselves doesn’t like you? they literally do not even like themselves. they can’t genuinely “like” you.

#mine #so tired of people who literally only know to people please #‘people pleaser’ is such a joke of a phrase bc they’re literally the most disappointing people i know #they don’t respect themselves #they live in such a way that is so repulsive to me it literally gives me euphoria to know they dislike me #call me names lie about me tell me you never wanna see me again #it’s literally bliss #like what do they expect? #for me to cry on the floor and beg them to love me?? i am not a fucking codependent like everyone else you know #i’m not gonna fucking fawn over you after you mistreat me #and of course no one else will defend me bc they’re all cowards too #afraid to not be on the narcissist’s team #bc the only other team has literally one player and that’s the scapegoat / truth teller #literally who tf wants to go against the narc?? nobody!! that’s why they think i’m stupid #it’s a blessing to be hated by cowards #it’s a sign you’re doing at least one thing right #acoa #family systems #codependency #narcissitic abuse #sick & tired of people living in these beat-around-the-bush type relationships where they are never direct and they are never happy #they don’t actually CARE about each other #they just want to be comfortable!!! #well it’s not COMFORTABLE to grow #‘you’re not the same person you used to be’ yeah well you’re EXACTLY THE SAME!!! #i love when people think that’s an insult #go ahead and tell on yourself #you have never changed or grown or confronted the ways that you treat people #i’m over it #it’s such a joke when these people try to talk to you

[filmcel]

and it makes me sad reading my old writing to see how depressed and sad i was and how i’m doing better but schools in the way of me doing better bc all it does is stress me out and make me suicidal 🤗🤗🤗

#captain’s log #i’m crying i want to sleep and do nothing for the rest of time #Ranting to my sister #and i feel like i’m just waiting for her to tell me how to fix it and not be dumb and stupid #but she can’t cuz she’s like me and struggles #and it fucking sucks #cuz there’s no solution #u either give up or u keep trying even if u might suck and even if you’ll take the L. #it’s genuinely gonna feel like nothing in a week or so. but right now it feels like the end of my life #i promise to stop talking like this when i’m done w this fucking assignment lmfao #ik it’s cringe and annoying but i’m just having a hard time #and i can’t tell my parents cuz they’ll just kill me over it #talking to my parents helps me . when they’re not insane. but anything school related just is not a topic i can bring up #cuz school makes them insane cuz they think i’m incapable of everything #^_^ sigh

[celestial-toys]

been laying here listening to Lucky by Dermot Kennedy on loop for half an hour while thinking about Everything Stays and crying

#it’s good crying dw i am just. i have so many feelings about this story #Seven’s Celestial Commentary #Everything Stays #writing stuff #i may be stuck in bed struggling to type due to personal reasons but that will Not stop me from cooking up ideas for this fic #there is gonna be so much fucking angst and it’s gonna hurt soooooo good #the more i listen to it the more the possibilities expand #i can easily see Moon and Reader going back and forth between verses vulnerably arguing over Sun #but i can also see it being Sun and Moon getting real and discussingcougharguingover Reader #can’t decide which i like more #god i wish y’all could see this story the way it plays out in my head #next best thing would be to keep writing and sharing the story instead of vagueposting abt future plot points tho wouldn’t it lmao #and GOD don’t even get me fucking STARTED on Two Hearts… #Dermot Kennedy’s music is responsible for yet Another plot point for this story and i can’t even be mad about it. his fucking lyricsss dude #‘and so we jump to the THEATER??? in that SAME OLD TOWN???’ DO WE? FUCK I GUESS WE DO NOW!!! #picture me listening to that song and inspiration hitting me like a truck. diligently taking notes like the lyrics r instructions from God #‘she sees his face?? and HE sees HER as the LIGHTS GO DOWN???’ write that down write that down #‘the life that they should’ve had sat between them that night??’ FUCK Man yeah it sure did!!! #anyways it’s chill i’m chill. i’m very normal about my little stories and their musical inspirations! #and i’ve listened to these songs a very normal amount (translation: they will likely be in my top ten for the 2024 wrapped) #(cut to the scenes playing vividly in my head) ‘Well‚ at least I can always say that I /told/ her!’ #‘I can’t relate to having a heart like that‚ Sun! With all of your wonder and your trust intact…’ #like no i wouldn’t lift the lyrics directly for the song to use as dialogue but FUCk does it work well.. Lucky is such a good script for- #like- a heated conversation between my Relentlessly Positive Sun and my Apathetic Jaded Moon #‘How could our farewell mean as much as our time? Honey‚ I’ll be gone. It’s better if I’m something that you leave behind.’ #‘I used to paint these trees‚ now I just scream at the sky. Honey I was wrong. Guess there’s certain things you never leave behind.’ #*sobbing shaking throwing up clawing at the walls* I Am Normal About These Characters #anyways uh. on an unrelated note how many song lyrics do ya think i can cram into ES before it’s Too Many #gonna have to start getting creative with how i can incorporate more songs in a way that feels natural and not forced #even tho i am forcing it. i am forcing it very much bc i have songs with applicable lyrics and y’all Will read them one way or another

[pebblezone]

this Tylenol ain’t shit w

#talkingcore #emotions. man. #there’s so much music that I just haven’t listened to in a bit and it’s making me feel things it’s not even like sad things I’m like damn #how long has it been since I’ve listened to beautiful stranger by Madonna as featured in Austin powers international man of mystery #but also something in my brain feels like it needs to cry like I don’t feel like I physically can but something needs to be released #so do I go pet sounds? smile? falsettos? I feel like I need to be in a sleeping bag and Contemplate #fun fact! Kendra Morris has an absolutely stunning cover of don’t talk (put your head on my shoulders) #I’m pretty neutral on beach boys covers tbh I’m never crazy about them since like they really never measure up #how many mid covers of god only knows can I take? not many. but like she & him have their little Brian Wilson tribute I like that. #the covers are a lot better when they don’t try to perfectly replicate whatever the fuck Brian Wilson was doing they aren’t him #brain wants to go melancholy mode but I’ve no clue over what. girl just tell me what I’m supposed to be sad over I’ll commit to the bit #need to keep listening to new stuff but also need old stuff Maybe that’s it maybe I just need old stuff again? like routine?? shit idk #also like at 5 am I woke up and remembered how in choir people kept comparing me to the director they had the year before me #and the thing is she had the same name as someone else in choir that was student teaching my first semester so I kept thinking they were #referring to her Id be in my choir fit my silly suit my proud butch uniform and they’d be like oh this is so ‘insert name’! #and it kept throwing me off because the student teacher was like. not like me at all so I was like fuck #what kind of girl core energies am I accidentally emitting this is Bad. so anyway 5 am I’m like fuck it I need to research this person #I search. find her. she’s butch. I’m blessed. they weren’t lying like man we do such a good job at being generic! yay! #butch And in choir! love to see it! keep thinking how I am destined to be like in my 40s doing mundane tasks #I’m gonna be soooooo good at watering plants and putting salt on the sidewalk before it snows and cleaning drains #need to be a dad mom so fucking bad you don’t get it I need to drive carpool and take off work for dentist trips and watch hgtv #AHHHH i think that got rid of some of the sad lfg💥💥💥💥this must be super long god damn sorry