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augmented-beauty · 4 years

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That didn’t stop you before

Did I just miracolously got a piece for Fictober done? Did my hiatus finally end? Let’s hope so ‘cause I’m sick of it.

Summary: AU where things go a bit differently and Adam and Alex end up being together back in Detroit already. Happens before the events of Human Revolution, but Adam is already working for Sarif. Alex comes back home after her usual shift at DPD in a bad mood, and Adam is right here to help.

Prompt numer 4

Fandom: Deus Ex

Relationships: Adam Jensen/OC (Alexandra Montgomery)

Rating: normal/general

Warning: none, just some light swearing

Word count: 1436

Adam and Alexandra being cute as hell and domestic fluff under the cut

You can also find this on AO3.

I didn't think people could surprise me anymore in their ignorance, but I was clearly wrong. I'm so grateful my shift is over for today because I can't bear with some colleagues' bullshit anymore. I get ready to head back home as fast as I can, storming out of the locker room and heading towards the parking lot where I left my motorbike this morning. I put my belongings in the trunk and then the helmet on my head, get on the saddle and start the engine. Luckily, it's not a long ride, I only need to go and buy some fresh ingredients for dinner before heading back to the flat I share with Adam. I do my groceries shopping as fast as I can, and something like half an hour later after leaving the locker room, I'm finally home.

"I'm back, cariño!" I call out for Adam, even though he probably heard me already.

"Hi, sweetheart!" he greets back from the bedroom.

As always, I barely have time to close the door before Kubrik rushes towards me to say hello, wagging his tail at the speed of light. This good boy always manages to make me smile, at least a little bit, no matter how pissed I am. Tonight is no exception, but I'm pretty sure my bad mood is still evident. I make a left to leave the shopping bag on the kitchen counter before venturing further into the flat. The classy, glass table Adam picked for the entrance always comes to my aid, and I leave my purse and helmet there. I properly greet Kubrik while climbing down the stairs, and I can already feel a bit of tension melting away from my body. Hearing Adam's footsteps as he comes out of the bedroom and walks towards me only makes it better. I look at him and meet him halfway, snaking my arms around his neck as he bends down a bit to give me our usual 'welcome back home' kiss, while his hands go to my waist. It might be a habit, but we cherish it deeply, and never get tired of it.

"Been home long?" I ask him, still not letting go, face still quite close to his.

"Some minutes. Just had the time for a shower and to get cosier."

I hum in approval, taking in his features. "Love that sweater on you." I reach for another kiss, savouring it in its briefness.

"How was work?"

My only direct answer is a groan "You first."

"Not bad, pretty tranquil, actually."

"Glad to hear that at least your day was better. Some people can only seem to be so fucking annoying, ugh."

"How about I get everything you need to cook today ready for the use while you get cosier too?"

Sounds wonderful" I give him a peck on those perfect lips of his before letting him go "Thanks, babe."

Heading into the bedroom, I change into a pair of leggings and one of Adam's baseball hoodies and then go take my make up off. Those small gestures are already helping a lot, and borrowing his hoodie once again was definitely a good idea. It smells like him, so, like home, somehow. Heading back to the living room and making my way to the kitchen, I notice how he also put on some lofi music, knowing damn well how much I like when I need to relax. Seeing me in his hoodie makes him give me a little smile and kiss my temple most sweetly.

"Want me to help you with that?"

"No, don't worry. I don't mind the cooking, and you've done enough already. Thank you for asking, though."

"You're welcome, beautiful." I give him a kiss on the cheek before getting started with the chopping of the veggies. While I do so, Adam wraps his arms around my waist and rests his chin on my shoulder gently. "Ready for your vent if you feel like it."

I sigh in frustration, ready to spill everything in hope to finally feel better for good, at least for now. "It's just...I might not be heavily augmented, but I still get so pissed when I hear bullshit about us. I just wanted to have a small break at the cafeteria in peace, you know, the time for a coffee. I get there to do that, and I can only hear some other cops I don't know that good saying nonsense. I tried saying something, but I got too pissed and just left with my cup in hand. I don't even know what had them starting, maybe there's an augmented rookie or something. The only thing I know is that they were saying how our life is much easier as our implants give us advantages in the workplace and shit like that. I couldn't help but feel called out, you know. How can they be so blind and don't realise that most of the time we don't even ask for our augs? It's not like we choose to be born with a genetical disease or to lose a limb or an organ! The post-surgical period is painful most of the times, and the eventual rehab is everything but easy. Don't even get me started on the life-long need for nu-poz. Sure, I'm lucky, I don't need heavy prescriptions, but many others are not that blessed, and the side effects for higher doses are terrible."

"Not to mention all the slur directed at you and the exploitation that occurs at times. And forced augmentation."

"Yeah, but go tell them that! Do they really think it's funny and easy to be augmented? We get discriminated, sometimes treated like we weren't human at all, and for what? For a fucking prosthesis? Sure, they're more sophisticated than in the past, but have been existing for decades now!" I fall silent for a brief moment, putting words and ideas together. "It's not the eye augmentation that makes me good at shooting, it's my skill, and all the training I went through! Just because someone has an augmented limb or whatever doesn't mean that they're automatically good at their job, it's more complex than that!"

"Everyone can be good at what they do, doesn't matter if they're augmented or not. Sure, for example, augmented people might be able to do manual labour more swiftly than someone who's not, but it's not like they don't need extra tools or don't make mistakes. Augs are not the problem, greed and ignorance are and augmented people are not to blame for this. In the end, we're all victims somehow."

"Exactly! And I've tried to tell them in fewer words, but anti-augs are so fucking stubborn."

"That didn't stop you before." I can hear the proud smile on his face by how he sounds, but I'm still a bit puzzled. "People might be stubborn, but you always find a way to successfully be heard. Sometimes you manage to educate people, and if they're too ignorant to learn something, at least you roast them as they deserve. So yeah, maybe you didn't shut them up today, but I'm sure next time they'll be talking shit, they might end up learning something. And if they're hopeless, they'll get what they deserve."

I stop in my tracks, putting the knife down and turning my head a little so that I can look at him. My fingers intertwine with his, and his thumb gently caresses my skin as I get lost in his eyes, noses lightly touching. "The world would be a better place if there were more people like you."

"Could say the same about you."

I can only smile at his sweetness and sincere admiration, feeling way better. I lean closer to him a bit for yet another sweet kiss of his, so full of love and care. "Gracias, mi amor. Me haces tan feliz."

Adam doesn't let go of me as I keep on cooking, and the only thing that changes is the subject. We keep on talking while I cook, and he makes me laugh, still with his chin gently resting on my shoulder, only moving to occasionally plant a delicate kiss on my skin. Even after dining, that's how the night rolls. It's all about gentle touches, heartfelt laughs and the mutual enjoyment of each other's presence, with Kubrik laying down near us in the living room. Doesn't matter how harsh the world is towards me sometimes, once I open the door to our home, that's all my life it's about. If someone asked me to picture Heaven, that's what I'd describe them.

#fictober20 #fictober 2020 #deus ex #deus ex human revolution #deus ex oc #adam jensen #alexandra montgomery #alexandra maribel montgomery #adam jensen x alexandra montgomery #adam x alex #my writing

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mousehole5000 · 4 years

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tgcf lb the second. chapters 7-13

love that we’re getting fu yao and nan feng described as “two little pretty boys” amazing and completely as expected also everything theyve done is 10000% funnier now

The military officials heard their impromptu, slapstick live comedy and couldn’t help but smile. The dissatisfaction in their hearts had dissipated a lot, and they felt a bit more closer to the other three. This resulted in the sedan chair becoming much more stable. - tbh it is often true that if you make people laugh they are more likely to like you in my experience. to be fair what xie lian did was funny theyre a funny trio

okay time for some creatures and beings. base slaves do sound terrifying no thank you i do not like hordes. remind me a bit of husks from mass effect and those were the worst so. also xie lian wielder of silk ribbons i like it

im very :eyes: at fu yao and nan feng rn. i think theres more going on with them..... i have suspicions but we’ll see

well goodbye butterfly boy who crushes skulls and spiritual arrays and sick boots and taught me what a vambrace is. im guessing we shall meet again i have the strangest feeling that ive heard about you

In fact, all of the dead people in this room wore wedding garments while smiling even in death. - grim!!! spooky!!!

The moment he finished saying that, he pinched that corpse’s face twice. The youngster only felt that the skin beneath his hands felt smooth like tofu, making people’s hearts feel itchy. - eww!!!! also dont feel up the corpse buddy wtf. also everyone leave little ying alone

Drip, drop. Drip, drop. This created the frightening scene of a forest filled with corpses as blood rained down from above. even more grim!! - happy halloween kids

When he heard Fu Yao’s explanation, Xie Lian thought in his heart, ‘This name was truly unnecessary. If it was a ‘Devastation’, then it was a ‘Devastation’. If it wasn’t, then it wasn’t. Just like how there were only the phrases, ‘ascended’ and ‘haven’t ascended yet’. There were no such things as ‘near ascending’ or ‘approaching ascending’. On the contrary, adding on a ‘near’ word made people feel awkward. - nevermind the deaths, xie lian needs to make some points about semantics. it has nothing to do with the situation at hand and i love it

QI RONG IVE HEARD ABOUT YOU FROM MY MUTUALS!!! terrified

Who knew how many times he had already said that phrase tonight. Every time something happened, Xie Lian would have to say it at least thirty to forty times. However, there would always be people who turned a deaf ear to his warnings. He felt truly quite helpless. - not sure if this is be xie lian is dressed up as a bride or if its just his bad luck. or if its bc thats just how people are. either way i feel you buddy

“Excuse me for this.” Xie Lian grabbed a hand from each bride before placing them on each other’s necks. The two brides suddenly touched something and were very surprised. Since they couldn’t see anything, they began to fiercely destroy each other. - xie lian stop being funny fjlkajdfs;kasj also right after this he goes into his street performer spiel upon being applauded. amazing

the visual of this fight with the villagers inside the ruoye loop and all the brides is pretty sick. also xi lian on the spirit phone to ling wen while the villagers cheer is very funny

heteronormativity obfuscates another mystery... but also a possessive jealous bride walking on her knees... thats quite a figure!! and tbh it is interesting that everyone assumed that the ghost was a bridegroom who didnt want to see happy couples and not a bride who didnt want to see happy couples. congrats xie lian for thinking

bruh she ripped his skull out and it screamed

i mean the indiscriminate killing of innocent women is bad but other than that im on her side tbh fuck this general pei guy

ow wtf i just cried a little bit. xie lian’s reassurance to little ying... her response.... wtf ;_;

As for the matter between General Pei and Xuan Ji, unless one was directly involved, it was better not to comment on who was right or wrong. He could only pity those seventeen innocent brides, the military officials and drivers who had escorted them. It truly was an unexpected disaster. - valid. still sympathetic to her tho i just am

human face plague..... bruh. okay might have to alternate between reading this and watching hannibal not sure i wanna do those together

He really wanted to hang a sign on his back saying, ‘Ascension is not as good as collecting scraps’ and promote it in the mortal world. - this lb is officially just funny xie lian moments now

The meaning behind his words were basically, the female ghost Xuan Ji causing trouble could not be blamed on General Pei, because she originally did not have the ability to cause it. If they wanted to pin the blame on someone, then they should pin it on Green Ghost Qi Rong, for it was him who took in Xuan Ji and gave her the ability to harm people. - told you. i was right to blame the men

i have indeed seen the donghua trailer so my suspicions that butterfly boy was indeed hua cheng being confirmed are just like. yep. exactly as expected.

i read the second half of chapter 12 on my phone so i didnt get any quotes but hua cheng rise to infamy funny. xie lian listening to it all and just going “hehe silver butterflies pretty” is also funny

i forgot that xie lian was in debt but im glad he paid it off good for him be free

After a while, Ling Wen really couldn’t stand it anymore and privately told him, “Your Highness ah, the things you send in the spirit communication array are all very good, however, I’m afraid that even a Heavenly Official a few hundred years older than you wouldn’t send them.” - fakhlsdfjakl; ling wen really told xie lian he was facebook grandparent posting in the spirit communication array

Since he couldn’t fix this, then it was still better to just forget about it. Xie Lian gave up on this issue, and as a result, stopped being gloomy as well. - you know what i respect that attitude i really do. xie lian said well ill just get over it and he did. i need to do this with twitter

However, this kind of problem didn’t exist for Xie Lian. With the curse upon him, he was no different compared to mortals, and thus could eat everything. And because he was a seasoned veteran of a hundred battles, no matter what he ate, he wouldn’t die. Whether it was a steamed bun that had been lying around for a month, or pastries that already sprouted some green mold, he would definitely be fine after eating those things. Since he had a constitution like this that defied the heavens, he actually got by alright during the period he collected scraps. - im sorry i know i keep saying it but xie lian is so funny i love him fjasdlfsdjfadksl literally king of eating garbage i love him so much

okay more hua cheng lore next time. and this interloper in the cart... ok

#mouse mumbles #tgcf liveblog #honestly so far everythings just really funny #except the gruesome bit and the bit where i cried #but i really do like xie lian a lot

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jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets · 4 years

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Love Undercover - Ch 4

Title: Love Undercover

Fandom: CSI: Las Vegas

Pairing: Greg Sanders x Nick Stokes

Rating: Mature

Summary: In part one of this series, Nick and Greg get sent on a special undercover mission by Grissom and Brass, an undercover mission as a couple at an all exclusive couples resort. Their mission is to find their targets and keep them safe while maintaining the illusion that they are a happily married couple, but they may end up finding more then they bargained for while at Lovers Lane Resort.

AO3

Masterlist

*** My works are not to be posted on any sites without my permission! Please and thanks!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter Four

Once they were finished with the massages, both of them feeling amazing afterwards, they walked out with James and Oliver, and stood outside.

The four of them stood silently in a group for a few minutes before James was the first one to speak, “Wow,” he said, pulling Oliver closer to him, “I feel great.”

“I would be perfectly fine with a nap right now,” Greg sighed and leaned on Nick, “or another massage.”

The four chuckled and Nick rubbed a hand up his back, “A promise is a promise, Darlin’.”

“And I will be holding you to that,” Greg smiled and pushed himself closer to Nick, “so, would you guys like to join us for another activity?”

“Sure,” Oliver reached into James’s back pocket and grabbed the itinerary, scanning it quickly, “instead of another activity, since we are all still so relaxed from the massages, why don't we walk one of the hiking trails?”

“Yeah,I'd love a walk,'' Nick tightened his arm around Greg’s waist and started making his way towards the trails with James and Oliver right beside them.

~~~~~~~~~~~

They had been walking for just about an hour now, James and Oliver were slightly ahead of them, and Greg was starting to get used to the feeling of Nick's hand in his. The trail was peaceful, a nice breeze was blowing through keeping them cool, and he couldn't help but think how he would love to get used to this. To just being with Nick… loving Nick.

“Hey, Greg.” he hummed and turned to Nick, snapping out of his thoughts. “How come you picked tomorrow as our anniversary date? Not that I'm mad, but I was just wondering why specifically tomorrow?”

“Well,” he drawled with a slight blush creeping up his cheeks, “if you think about it, in a way, it kind of is.”

Nick stopped walking for a second, tilting his head as he turned back and continued walking, “What do you mean?”

“October 6, 2000, three years ago. It was my first day on the job in the labs, and-”

“The first day we met,” Nick nodded and laughed, “I remember seeing you for the first time. You were late, very classy for your first day of work, and came barreling into the break room looking for Grissom.”

Greg laughed so hard he nearly snorted, “And I found him.”

“Oh, you found him alright,” Nick had to stop walking, turning to face Greg with a huge smile on his face, “with your lab coat on backwards, clipboard upside down, and somehow you had managed to get cream cheese from your bagel in your hair. It was the best day of my life.”

“And the worst day of mine!” Greg slapped his arm playfully, “I thought I was going to die of embarrassment. And Grissom just walked over to me and picked the cream cheese out of my hair, then walked away.”

“Oh,” Nick was nearly doubled over laughing now, “oh, it was hilarious, but also very cute.”

“Cute?”

“Yeah,” Nick settled a bit, his laughs tuning into a light chuckle, “it was very cute.”

Greg eyed him for a moment before adding with a smirk, “You know, Nick, that's not the first time you've complimented me on this trip.”

Nick raised his brows, then moved closer and took Greg’s other hand, holding them between them, “Well, Greg, I-”

“Hey, guys!” They both turned and saw Oliver waving them down, stopping Nick from finishing whatever he was about to say. “Come and take a picture, James is setting up his tripod.”

“Sure thing, guys,” Nick waved back and then led Greg over, leaving him curious about the end of that sentence.

“All set,” James said as they reached them and they stood in front of the camera, “should we do a nice one first?”

They all nodded and stood close together, both couples wrapped together for a nice picture. Next up was a funny one in which James suddenly dipped Oliver as the shutter was going off and Nick grabbed Greg for a nuggie. Next up, was something a little harder for the two of them though.

“How about a kiss picture?!” Oliver clapped his hands together and that was the exact moment that Greg’s heart decided to relocate to his feet.

He turned into Nick with wide panicked eyes and whispered, “What do we do?!”

“We knew this might be a possibility,” Nick tried to calm him with soothing hands on his shoulders, “and I don't really see a way around it.”

“Maybe we can think up an excuse, what if I tell him I have a cold sore?”

“I…” Nick looked at Greg with what Greg could only describe as hurt, “Is it really that bad to even think about kissing me?”

Greg was speechless, all he could do was choke out half a syllable. That's not what he had meant at all, in fact, he had assumed he was doing Nick the favor by offering up an excuse.

“You guys ready?” James asked, arms around Oliver, “Once you're good I'll set the camera.”

Nick sighed then, and turned away from Greg, “I don't think we can do this one guys, Greg’s got a col-”

“No! No, were good to go,” Nick looked to Greg with a raised brow, “cold sores all cleared up now, Honey, no need to worry.”

“Alright,” James said, “five seconds starting now,” and set the camera then got into position with Oliver.

Nick turned to Greg and held his hands out to rest on his waist, but they ended up just hovering there instead, until Greg took them and placed them where they belonged.

“I thought…” he began, but Greg stopped him and put his hands around Nick's neck, pulling him a bit closer.

“That's not what I meant,” he shook his head, playing with the hairs at the nape of Nick's neck, “not even close.”

And then he pulled Nick in all the way. Their lips pressed together in a perfect kiss. Soft, sweet, slow. They fit together like a puzzle, like soul mates, and that's exactly what it felt like. It felt like this is where they were both meant to be, where they belonged.

They heard the camera go off somewhere in the distance but found they really didn't want to pull apart. Nick instead pulled Greg closer, and Greg sighed against Nick's lips giving him the perfect chance to slip his tongue into his mouth. Greg reciprocated, tilting his head to allow Nick better access, and joining Nick's tongue with his own in a slow waltz.

“Hello?!” Giggles from behind Nick had them both slowly coming back to reality, and much to their disliking, pulling apart to turn to the other couple with sheepish looks, “Guys, I know it's your anniversary but whoo, I didn't think it could get any hotter than it already was in Vegas, but I have been proven wrong.”

The two just shyly walked over to look over Oliver's shoulder as he sifted through the pictures they just took, they were great pictures they had to admit, but both of them had a sweet spot for the last one in particular.

“Hey, if I give you my number, can you send me those?” Nick asked.

“Yeah, definitely.”

After the quick exchange of numbers, the couples were off again. But this time instead of holding his hand out for Greg to take, he wrapped his arm tightly around him and pulled him right up against his side, Greg settling in with his hand on Nick's chest.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The two couples spent the rest of the day together, finding that they did all get along quite well. By the time dinner came they were all starving and couldn't wait to get their hands on whatever food the resort was serving them tonight.

They were all pleased to see that it was set up like a buffet and there was so much to choose from. Soups, pastas, and salads were set up at one end, and on the other it seemed tonight's main course was roast beef, veggies, and mashed potatoes. Greg's mouth was watering just at the smell of the food hall.

“If you guys wanna grab us a table, James and I can grab some plates?”

Greg nodded, “Yeah, we can do that.”

“Okay, be back in a minute, Sweetie.” That was a new one, Greg thought, but didn't have much time to think about it when his face was being lifted by Nick’s fingers on his chin, and brought in for another lingering kiss.

When Nick pulled back he stayed just a breath away from Greg’s lips for a moment, seeming to be contemplating the situation, before just smiling and leaving with James.

Greg shook himself back to reality and turned to join Oliver in the hunt for an open table. It took a few minutes, but they finally managed to find one near the back and hoped that Nick and James would be able to find them when they came back with the food.

They sat facing the buffet so they could keep an eye out for them coming back, and Oliver decided to ask, “So, how did you and Nick get together?”

“Uh…” Shit, they hadn't exactly narrowed down that story yet. “We-we met at college.”

“You're a vet tech and Nick’s an accountant right?” Greg nodded stiffly, “Did you have a class together? Mutual friend set you up?”

“Uh, yes! Yeah, a friend of ours set us up, his name is Gil. Actually,” Greg chuckled thinking he might as well use it cuz it did technically happen, “When I first met Nick, I had cream cheese in my hair. I was late for a class earlier that morning and somehow managed to get cream cheese from my bagel all over myself.”

“What a cute story!”

Greg nodded and ran a hand through her hair, “How about you and James? How did you two meet?”

“Well, it wasn't as cute as you and Nick. It was as simple as our parents knew each other through work. James’s dad is a judge and my mom’s a cop,” he shrugged, “last year my mom was working a case that involved some old convicts James's dad had put away in the past. Once the case was over my mom invited James's family over for dinner as a thank you for helping her out, and we started talking, and soon after started seeing each other. Pretty simple.”

“Still cute though,” he smiled.

“Yall talking about me?” Nick asked as he and James found the table, and placed their trays down.

“Actually we were,” Greg smiled up at Nick as he placed a full plate in front of him then sat down beside him, “I was telling Oliver about how we met at college.”

Nick laughed and reached up to run a hand through Greg's hair, “The cream cheese thing?”

Greg was so hoping Nick would jump to the same story as him, and thankfully they seemed to be on the same wavelength, “Yep!”

“Yeah,” Nick sighed as he ran a thumb over Greg’s cheek then pulled away to grab his fork, “it was the moment I fell in love with him.”

“That's so sweet,” James answered, pulling up his own chair, “it was also love at first sight for me and Oliver. Thankfully our parents worked together for a few months or else we would have never met.”

“And thankfully our friend Gil was kind enough to set us up,” Greg said and leaned in towards Nick, “or else we never would have gotten together.”

“Well, I love the fact that we are all a bunch of sappy cheese balls,” Oliver laughed, grabbing his fork, “but I'm starving, so we can pick up this lovely conversation later, and let's dig in. This looks like it's going to be amazing!”

The other three agreed and very quickly joined Oliver in eating what was probably the best meal they had ever had.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The resort had finished the night by serving ice cream for dessert, and once they were full the two couples left the hall together and walked back towards their cabins.

The evening cooled the temperature a little bit, giving the four boys a little relief from the regular Vegas heat. Grasshoppers and crickets could be heard playing their songs under the almost full moon, and they couldn't help thinking that it was the perfect end to a great day.

“Well, this is us,” James said, stopping them in front of one of the cabins.

“What do you guys say to spending the day together again tomorrow?” Oliver asked, a hopeful hint to his tone.

“We’d love to,” Greg smiled, thankful that they seemed to like them, making staying close to them for the detail easier then he had hoped, “you have Nick’s number, so why don't you give us a call when you're ready tomorrow and we can chose a few activities for the day?”

“Sounds like a plan.” They both waved and James held the door open for Oliver as they went inside. “Good night, guys.”

“Good night.” They answered back, and once the two were safely inside their cabin, Nick and Greg made their way to theirs.

They walked inside, exhausted in more ways than one from the day's events. Greg let go of Nick's hand and walked over to the bed, plopping back on it with a sigh, while Nick hovered by the door shifting on his feet.

“Hey, Greg.” He hummed, not lifting himself from the bed. “I uh… I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable today with the whole kiss thing. You didn't have to-”

“No, Nick,” he shot up this time, “I wasn't uncomfortable, actually I… I was more worried that you would be the one who was uncomfortable, because I wanted to. Kiss you, I mean.”

“You did?” Nick perked up and moved away from the doorway.

“I… yeah, I did,” Greg rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, “and since we're being honest, it's not the first time I've wanted to.”

“I…” Nick was suddenly flushed and only able to stutter, so Greg stood and slowly walked over to him.

“And if I'm being really honest,” he said, reaching Nick and running a hand up his chest to rest at the base of his neck, “I want to do it again.”

Nick stood stunned, he wasn't sure how long he was like that, but it was long enough that Greg started pulling back with a horrified look on his face. He managed to snap out of it and grabbed Greg by the waist before he could get too far away from him, and pulled him back flush against his chest. He bumped his nose against Greg’s, closing his eyes with a sigh as he said, “I can help with that,” and leaned down to kiss Greg with as much passion as he could muster.

One step at a time Nick slowly walked them backwards as they continued kissing, never once breaking apart, and laid Greg gently back on the bed. He shifted them up to the pillows and laid them on their sides. They continued kissing, exploring, eventually ridding each other of their shirts, pants soon to follow. They laid there in their boxers, kissing and touching long into the night, before eventually they couldn't keep their eyes open any longer, and they fell asleep wrapped together, lips still touching in a gentle kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~~

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Tags: @panchostokes @greggonpancho @cadenceh2o

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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932

What's your favourite sport? Do you prefer to watch it or play it?: I love pro wrestling, if you count that as a sport. I definitely prefer to just stay in front of a TV – I have never been in a ring, nor am I physically fit to even give it a shot without getting harshly injured. Conversely, I love table tennis but I’d rather play it than watch a game.

Who was the last person to send you a friend request on Facebook?: It was a stranger who, upon checking, seems to be some sort of spam account promoting a pyramid scheme. Happy to nope the fuck out of there.

Have you ever been to that person's house?: Definitely not. I don’t add people I didn’t know on any level, anyway.

How recently did you wash your hands?: This morning when I cleaned up after Cooper.

How many girls do you know named Emma?: Not a common name here, so I don’t know any Emmas.

[trigger warning under this I guess. Lots of angst going on at the moment.]

Are you upset, for any reason at all?: Yeah. I’ve been feeling very upset and under stress lately...to give you an idea, I find it a personal achievement to have gotten up and taken this survey. I’m at least self-aware that this is a temporary slump, but while it’s here hanging around, it really sucks to be in it.

How did you feel when you woke up today?: Shitty. The only reason I got up at all was to feed my dogs but otherwise I’ve been glued to either the couch or my bed.

When you're stressed, what helps you to relax or calm down?: Lately, it’s episodes of Good Mythical Morning. Rhett, Link, and their crew will never have any idea just how much they’ve helped this 22 year old, now-wondering-what-her-purpose-is-in-life fresh college graduate keep sane, but I’m glad they have hours upon hours of content and podcasts lying around to keep me company while no one else can.

What were you doing before you started this survey?: I finished another survey that I abandoned yesterday, and was watching GMM to fill up the silence in my room.

Is there something else you should be doing, that's more important?: I’ve been job-hunting 24/7 but lately I’ve been giving myself a break on weekends since no one will be processing applications or booking interviews on a Saturday anyway.

When was the last time you neglected to do something that you'd planned?: Around noon today.

Is there someone that can always make you smile no matter how bad you feel?: Apparently not. I’ve been a wreck all month so far and nothing has worked. Before September, I certainly thought animals or certain humans worked as cures for me.

Do you have any friends that you feel don't fully appreciate you?: I don’t feel that way about them. I think my friends care for me a whole lot, which I appreciate. I’ve had friends come to my DMs quite a few times in the last few days with messages of support since I’ve been a little vocal about how sad I’ve been feeling these days, so I for sure don’t feel invisible. Making me feel present is the best gift anyone could give me.

When was the last time someone told you that you were beautiful?: Last week when Gab came over.

Who was the last person that apologised to you?: Myself.

What were they apologising for?: Haven’t been looking out for myself recently.

Do you think they meant it?: I guess not, because I still haven’t stopped being destructive towards myself.

Would you be embarrassed if your parents looked at your Facebook?: I have them as my friends so they see everything. But I’m 22, so while they can complain about some of my posts (and it’s usually the political ones lol), they can’t tell me to take anything down anymore the same way they were able to do so when I was younger.

Describe the personality of the person you have feelings for.: She’s very warm, understanding, generous, and immeasurably protective of the people she loves.

What does your pencil case look like? What's in it?: I have a plush dog pencilcase that I use for my pens and pencils (given by my sister) and a pink pencilcase with a floral design that holds my highlighters (given by Jane).

In your Facebook friends list, who is the first person listed under 'D'?: Some girl named Abby whose surname begins with D. She was someone from my high school and we mutually know each other, but we’re not friends and we’ve never even talked.

How did you meet him/her?: I’ve never talked to her but I’ve known of her since grade school I guess? since she’s my sister’s batchmate.

Did the last person you kissed have facial hair?: No.

You're locked in a room with your ex. Any problems?: It would just be my girlfriend too so there wouldn’t be any problems, except that I’d probably break down crying upon seeing her again because I’ve barely pulled myself together over the last week and have had to go through it alone.

Be honest. What are you most afraid of?: These days I’m definitely doubting my capabilities and achievements and all the shit I’ve put on my resumé and portfolio, and now I’m scared if any company will even give me a chance. I’m honestly holding a little bit of resentment for every employed person right now because I have seen absolutely no one talk about how brutal this whole process/waiting game is, lol. This is so SHITTY, is it just difficult for me or what???? I’m so baffled.

In the last 24 hours, have you seen or spoken to anyone you dislike?: I’ve dealt with myself, but that’s it.

What colour are the eyes of the last person that told you they loved you?: Dark brown.

What is a word or phrase that you say often?: I like saying “I guess” because it makes me sound unsure about most things and thus makes me not 100% accountable if things go wrong hah. I do have another answer that’s more in line with the angst and depression I’ve been going through recently, and it’s that I’ve repeating BoJack Horseman’s ‘piece of shit’ monologue to himself, but this time saying it to myself.

Name 3 songs that remind you of someone special.: Sparks by Coldplay; anything by Mitski; and anything by St. Vincent.

How much chocolate do you have in your house atm, if any?: We have...a lot. We still have the chocolate cake from Nina’s birthday and we recently received an entire pack of various fun-size chocolate bars like Twix, Three Musketeers, etc. from my aunt. We also have chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream that I normally would finish up in a day, but I’ve been saving it for every future job rejection I receive.

Who is the most intelligent person you know?: Chesca.

Do you have younger siblings? If you do, are you protective of them?: Yes. I’m protective of my sister but I don’t show it lol. We are not showy in this family.

Who was the last person you insulted?: Idk probably a politician on social media.

What are the other members of your household doing at this moment?: I have not gone out of my room all day...I did not miss this sensation. It’s been a while since I’ve locked myself up for this long.

Do you have any neighbours that you don't get along with?: There’s a house behind ours that loudly plays 80s and 90s power ballads and love songs and it gets insanely irritating and makes the neighborhood feel cheap, but I keep my feelings to myself and I’ve never actually confronted them about it and asked them to stop or decrease their speaker’s volume.

How recently did you speak to the last person you kissed?: Like 30 minutes ago. I’m not very talkative these days and it was actually just the second time today that I initiated a bried conversation. I feel bad for her, and I can’t wait to get better so I can start treating her right again.

Who was the last person you told to get lost, or something similar?: I don’t usually tell this to people.

Give me a random line from the last song you listened to.: “We know better so we’d both better go.”

Have you ever had an argument with the last person you Facebook messaged?: Lots. She’s my girlfriend lol.

Do you have any plans for tonight?: I don’t know. If I feel any better, I’d practice and review for my upcoming interview this Tuesday, but if I’m not okay by then...I don’t know. I’ve stopped planning my days out recently and just go where my legs take me.

Where were you at 9 o'clock last night?: I was at the dining table trying to take a survey, but I quickly lost interest in it.

In the past week, have you slept past midday?: Kind of. Like I mentioned, Gabie’s on the night shift so I’ve been keeping her company, which means I occasionally take naps in the afternoon.

Is there anything happening tomorrow, that you're looking forward to?: No. I’m so scared of tomorrows now.

Is there anyone you used to be friends with, that you now dislike?: I dislike Athenna only because of her attitude and the way she treated Angela during the last few days of their friendship. I don’t have any personal beef with her, at least I don’t think I have. She likes stirring up shit though and I won’t be surprised if she was able to make up a story about me to get our other friends to dislike me.

What is your least favourite chocolate bar?: Eh, I’m pretty picky about chocolate bars so I have more brands that I dislike than the ones I do enjoy. I only like Reese’s, Butterfinger, Twix, and Whittaker’s.

Do any of your friends or relatives have the same birthday as you?: Just this girl I went to grade school with named Mitch. Otherwise, April 21 babies are a rare breed apparently.

Name the last song that made you cry.: O by Coldplay.

Who do you miss at this moment?: The me from like two weeks ago lol. How far I’ve fallen.

Where is that person?: Stuck in August, I guess.

Have you ever dyed your hair an unnatural colour?: No.

Have you had any deep conversations today?: No.

Is your television on atm?: It’s not, but I have my phone playing GMM videos on YouTube to keep me company.

If it is, what are you watching?: It’s one of their product test videos.

Are you wearing anything blue?: My shirt is blue, actually.

Who were the last 5 people to make you smile?: Rhett and Link, and that’s pretty much it.

Do you use Twitter?: Sure.

Tell me about the last YouTube video you watched. They’re pitting brand name cleaning products and natural cleaning products against each other and seeing which one is more effective. I love these videos of theirs, hahaha.

Is there anything else you'd like to say?: No, I feel like I’ve grilled myself enough in this survey.

#survey #surveys

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sirenfromthelostcity · 5 years

Text

The One Where The Reader Finds Out

A/N: Sooooo sorry this took so long to post but it’s finally done! I was actually kinda struggling with this request a bit bc I couldn’t see Jack as a pinning type of guy (he’s just so frickin smooth and handsome how come ppl aren’t throwing themselves at him??) but this was actually really fun to write once i got stuff in order. It’s kinda modeled after this episode of Friends (The One Where Ross Finds Out) so you’ll see some similarities if you’ve seen the show. This is my first ever Jack Traven imagine so i really hope i got his character right or at the very least you guys kinda enjoy it. Feedback is always appreciated but now I leave you to it! <3333

Words: 4.2k

Jack Traven can be described as many things. His fellow colleagues at the LAPD often use words such as reckless, bold, and dauntless to describe their fellow comrade. His close friend and supervisor Harry would call him straight up crazy but also very intuitive and clever. As for you, his best friend, you would say that Jack Traven is nothing short of compassionate, valiant, and brilliant. For the most part, all of these descriptions of Jack do not fall short of his actual disposition. But what would best describe him in his current situation is painfully conscious of how painfully oblivious he has been.

It has been nearly two months since Jack had the brilliant idea to go on a double date with you, your current boyfriend Ian, and his then girlfriend Scarlett. Although you weren’t initially too fond of the idea he meant no harm by it. All he wanted to do was meet the new man in your life and judge if he was good enough to be with his best friend. His vigilant nature is something you’ve always admired about him and it is because of this that you agreed to the double date.

“So,” Ian turned forward in his seat to face Jack now that you and Scarlett have excused yourselves to the ladies' room, “you’re the infamous Jack Traven, (Y/N)’s mentioned you a lot and to be honest, I was a little intimidated by you.”

“Don’t sweat it, man, (Y/N) likes you a lot, I can tell.”

“I sure hope so,” he sheepishly smiled. “So you two are childhood friends?”

“Yeah, I’ve known her for most of my life. We met when we were kids through mutual friends, we lost touch after high school but reconnected when I joined the force a few years ago and found her in the forensics team.”

“And the bond has been restrengthening ever since, huh?”

“Yes it definitely has,” Jack chuckled briefly before taking on a more serious demeanor. “Listen, Ian, (Y/N) is really important to me. She is an amazing, smart, beautiful, and extremely down to earth woman who doesn’t deserve to have her heart broken.”

“Don’t worry Jack, I know I’d be a fool to not recognize (Y/N)’s worth. I know we haven’t been together for long but I really care for her.”

“I’m glad to hear it. It would be a real shame if I have to kick your ass,” he joked.

He remembers laughing and even toasting in your honor with Ian that night shortly after that conversation. He remembers the great food, good service, and the exuberant vibes of the restaurant. For the most part, everything was going great that night. Then he saw Ian wrap an arm around your shoulder, effectively bringing you in closer to him, and stirring feelings of unease deep within Jack. At that moment, Jack mentally reasoned with himself that he was simply being protective of you. However, he wasn’t able to conjure another sound explanation for why he’d feel a tug at his heart strings whenever he’d catch you smile at Ian or interlock your hands with his.

Jack rubs at his temples, recalling the night of your double date and mentally kicking himself for not reacting to his own signs sooner.

“Sir,” the waiter calls out to Jack, pulling him out of his reverie. “Are you ready to order or would you prefer to give your party some more time to arrive?”

Jack pensively casts his eyes on the empty seat opposite of him, a seat reserved for an already late blind date Harry had arranged for him due to being tired of seeing Jack “all mopey and sad about (Y/N).”

“Y’know,” he sucks at his teeth, “if I’m gonna eat alone tonight I’m gonna do it right. I’ll have the steak with steamed potatoes, a side of mac and cheese, and a beer. You guys have that here right?”

“Yes we do, sir. Which one would you like?”

“Surprise me,” Jack hands his menu to the waiter and the waiter disappears into the kitchen to post the order.

A moment later, the waiter returns with a beer for Jack and he wastes no time in opening it and gulping it down. He stares at the empty seat in front of him and continues to ponder on you and the rather disheartening news you had given him earlier in the week.

“He asked you to go on a vacation with him?”

“Yeah!” you beamed.

“A vacation,” he repeated in feigned joy. “Together… with Ian?”

“Yes, Jack,” you laughed. “For about a week I believe.”

“And only after two months together…. Wow…. Things are getting pretty serious between you guys, huh?”

“Well, two and a half months now and I guess so,” you shrugged. “I mean, I really like him. He’s one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever met, after you of course. Plus, I’ve been feeling really stressed out with things lately so a few days off and being in different setting just might be what I need right now.”

Jack motions to the waiter for another beer and the waiter readily complies. Once again Jack downs the drink as quickly as he received it in an attempt to drown his sorrows and his longing to be with you.

Moments later a slender, short-haired brunette donning a chic black dress hurriedly enters the restaurant.

“Good evening, ma’am,” says the hostess, stopping the mysterious brunette before she can venture too far, “can I help you?”

“Yes, Hi. I’m really late for a date,” she replies, her eyes surveying the restaurant for her date, “he’s probably- Oh! He’s over there!”

The waiter is handing Jack another beer and taking the empty bottle to discard it when the brunette approaches his table and introduces herself.

“Hi, you’re Jack right?”

“Yeah,” he looks up at her in question.”Are you Annie?”

“Yeah I am and really late, sorry about that but my bus caught some traffic on the highway.”

“It’s no problem,” Jack rises from his seat and quickly straightens out his brown suit jacket before shaking her hand and pulling out her chair in which she gladly sits on.

Jack signals for the waiter and he promptly returns with a menu for Annie and waits patiently for her to order. Since Jack already finished his second beer he requested a bottle of wine for him and Annie and once the waiter exits their date resumes.

“So Harry tells me you’re in the force with him,” Annie starts.

“Yes, I am. What else did he tell you?”

“Don’t worry, it was all the good stuff,” she smiles and Jack gives her a small smile back.

“In that case, he probably didn’t have a lot to say,” he jests.

“Don’t sell yourself too short now, it was enough to get me to come here.”

“Well, since you know about me, why don’t you tell me about yourself?”

Annie starts to go on about her interests, her job, how her day went, and her connection to Harry and his wife, Patty. Her connection to Harry and Patty is actually a pretty good story. Too bad Jack is too zoned out to pay attention to it. Annie is by no doubt charming and attractive but Jack can’t help his thoughts and attention from shifting back to you and Ian.

I’m not just jealous. How can you go on a vacation with someone you’ve only known for like two months?

But how can an idiot like me not have notice he’s in love with his best friend?

Time passes and the waiter stops by to collect their now empty plates. Jack nods every now and then and has been downing cups of wine quicker than he can notice. However, Annie does.

“Um, are you okay?” she questions.

“Hmm what? Yeah, why?”

“Oh, I don’t know, you just seem a little-”

Jack’s cup makes a loud clinking sound with the now empty wine bottle as he attempts to pour himself every last drop of the bottle before haphazardly tossing it into the ice bucket and chugging his cup of wine.

“Jack,” Annie calls for his attention.

His drunken eyes shoot up in question before releasing a tired sigh, finally recognizing what he’s doing.

“I’m sorry. I’m not normally like this on dates, or in life, I don’t even drink wine like that. You’re great, you’re beautiful, it’s not you,” he rambles.

“What is it then?”

“It’s me-– well, it’s this friend of mine.”

Annie, knowing exactly where this conversation is heading, props her elbow on the table and rests her head on her hand.

“Does this friend happen to be an ex-girlfriend by any chance?”

“Not exactly,” he looks down. “She’s my best friend. We’ve been friends since we were kids so we’re really close. She’s always been the one person I know I could trust indefinitely and she’s always been there for me, she just… she means so much to me.”

“Oh, I see, and what’s the issue with this best friend?”

“She’s going on a vacation with her boyfriend.”

“Wow, no, yeah, that seems,” she furrows her brows in confusion, “awful?”

“I mean they just started going out,” he motions with his hands. “Would you go on a vacation with a guy you knew for only, like, two months?”

“No, not really–”

“Exactly! He exclaims. “Why do they even have to go on a vacation? Why can’t they just go on another date or just hang out, something less serious than a vacation, why not go out to dinner or something, do one of those… what are they called? What are they called? What are they called?” he snaps his fingers, trying to think of the word he wants to say and not realizing he just said it.

“Uh, a date?”

“Yes!” he exclaims again. “Man, you’re so smart.”

“Yeah,” she flatly says. “Listen, you clearly have feelings for this friend of yours. Why don’t you just, I don’t know, tell her how you feel?”

“It’s too late for that,” he slumps in his chair. “(Y/N) has a boyfriend now and I’m just an idiot who didn’t know about his feelings soon enough. And she’s happy, she looks happy. It’s not right of me to ruin her happiness just because I want to be with her. I just wish I could get over her, why can’t I get over her?”

Annie huffs and her bangs gently fly up.

“Look, Jack, I’ve been where you’re at. You’ll get over her. You just feel like this now because you haven’t gotten any closure–”

“Closure!” he enthusiastically points at her. “That’s it! I need that! How do I get that?”

“Well, there’s no one way to it. Really it’s just whatever it takes so that you can finally say ‘I’m over you.’”

“I’m over you,” he repeats and motions with his hands. “That simple.”

Jack begins to look around his surroundings and an idea strikes him when he sees a man behind him talking on his cellular phone.

“Excuse me, sir,” he calls for the stranger’s attention but when that doesn’t work he scoots his seat closer to the man, nearly falling off from it, and continues to call for his attention until he finally turns around.

“Hold on a second,” the man says into his phone before directing his attention to Jack. “What?”

“Hi sir,” he slurs, “can I please borrow your phone? It’ll only be a minute.”

‘“I don’t know if you noticed but I’m currently using it”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed but you’re in the middle of having dinner with a pretty lady and you being on your phone right now is rude.”

After bickering with the stranger for a few minutes, and being quite unsuccessful in getting him to give him his phone, Jack grunts in frustration and begins to search for his badge.

“Look I didn’t wanna do this but,” he flashes his badge to the now startled stranger, “LAPD, sir, I'm gonna need you to surrender your phone to me right now, I don’t wanna have to call for backup.”

“Oh my god,” Annie murmurs under her breath, rubbing at her temples with her hands.

As expected, the man finally yields his phone to Jack and he quickly thanks him for it before turning back to Annie in his seat and dialing your number. His eyes are squinted and he messes up the first two times when marking your number but he finally gets it right the third time. He gets your answering machine and patiently waits to leave you a message.

“Hey (Y/N), it’s Jack. Just calling to let you know that I’m good. Everything is all good now. I’m really happy for you and Ian and the sudden vacation you’re both gonna go on. Feel free to bring me a keychain from wherever you go because I’m over you. That’s right. I am over you. And that, my darling (Y/N), is what we call closure.”

Jack lazily holds the phone above the ice bucket before dropping it in and leaning back in his chair and Annie immediately calls the waiter for the check.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next day…..

Jack is awakened by a pounding ache in his head and the sudden exposure to daylight makes him cringe in pain even more. He slowly rises from his bed, closes his curtains, and goes to his medicine cabinet in the bathroom to search for some aspirin. Upon finding the desired drug, he pops one into his mouth, turns on his bathroom sink, and uses his hand to cup the water to drink and swallow the pill. He takes a few more gulps, finding himself suddenly incredibly thirsty, before brushing his teeth and putting back the aspirin. It’s when he closes the medicine cabinet and sees his reflection in the mirror that he realizes he’s still dressed in last his clothes from last night which prompts an important question in his mind.

How did I get home?

Jack cautiously opens part of his curtain and searches his neighborhood for his car. When he doesn’t find it he assumes his date called him a cab and is actually grateful she didn’t allow him to drive himself.

His date.

What was her name?... Andrea?... Or was it Anne?... Annie?

Immediately he begins to feel embarrassed for how foolish he must’ve acted last night. He already knows he’s gonna be getting an earful from Harry since he’s the one that set up the whole thing in hopes of helping John move on from you. Yet, it’s not like he didn’t want to try.

Jack sluggishly makes his way towards his kitchen heading specifically towards his refrigerator for a hangover cure. Right as he’s opening the door to his fridge he hears someone knock on his door. He glances at his watch, noting that it’s only a little past eight thirty in the morning, and wonders who could be at his door so early.

“Morning, sunshine,” you greet Jack when he opens the door.

“(Y/N)?”

You give Jack a quick once-over.

“You’re dressed a bit formal for our breakfast plan but I’m digging the dapper look,” you make your way to enter his apartment and he quickly moves aside, letting you in and leading you to his kitchen.

“Breakfast plan?” he questions again.

“Yeah, we were supposed to get breakfast today, don't you remember?” Jack stays silent with a pensive look on his face and you have your answer. “From the look on your face I take that as a no. Oh, how did your date go last night?”

“How’d you know about that?”

“You told me about it,” you chuckle. “Jesus, how much did you drink last night, you seem pretty out of it.”

“I might’ve drunk a little bit past the average standard of too much.”

“Wow, was the date really going that bad?”

“I honestly can’t remember much but I know it was less than ideal and I know for a fact it was my fault.”

“Why do you say that?” you wonder and suddenly you find yourself being looked at rather oddly by Jack. “And why are you staring at me like that?”

“I Just– I think I had a weird dream about you but I can’t remember.”

“Well that sounds fun. Maybe you can tell me about it over breakfast, if you’re still up for it?”

“Yeah, of course,” he nods. “Honestly food is just what I need right now. Just let me change,” Jack turns around and makes his way to his room but abruptly stops to turn towards you once more. “Did you and I speak on the phone last night by any chance?”

“No, I spent the night at Ian's. I actually haven't even had a chance to check my messages yet, mind if I use your phone?”

“Yeah sure, I’ll be out in a few,” Jack casually swats his hand in the air as an okay before retreating to his room.

You thank him as you move to retrieve his phone and dial your number and code to your answering machine. After about a minute you’re finally able to check your messages and smile in delight upon hearing Jack’s voice.

“Jack, I got a message from you.”

Immediately Jack comes out of his room, wearing only a tank top and his dress pants from last night and a look of panic on his face.

“You sound so wasted,” you giggle.

“(Y/N), give me the phone,” he quickly makes his way over to you but you start to move away towards the living room.

“No way, I love listening to your drunken rambles,” with a secure grip on the phone you run to one side of the couch and Jack anxiously follows.

“(Y/N), I need the phone, give me the phone, give me the phone now,” he pleads, anxiety clear as day in his voice.

Committed to retrieving the phone from you, Jack chases you in circles around the couch until he’s finally able to tackle you onto the couch and swat the phone away from you. However, by the look of pure shock on your face, he knows he’s too late.

“Shit,” he starts, rising from the couch and running a hand down his distressed face, “fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!…”

“You… you’re over me?” you slowly start to sit up on the couch. “When–when were you… under me?”

Jack continues to groan and pace the area, “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

“I mean… it was only a message addressed to me. But… Jack… do you… are you … Jack,” you stand up and grab his arm, stopping his pacing and implore him to explain.

“Okay… okay fine,” he clears his throat. “So-uh basically, lately I realized I have-uh feelings for you…”

“Oh...,” you slowly sit back down to process Jack’s confession and Jack joins you on the couch.

“(Y/N), please say something.”

“.... Pineapple.”

“What?”

“You said say something and I can’t really think of anything to say at the moment.”

“Okay, that’s fair, this is all pretty sudden.”

“Ya think?” you scoff.

“(Y/N), I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do this or Ian. I didn’t mean for you to find out this way. Actually I didn’t mean for you to find out about this ever, I know Ian is a good guy and he makes you happy–”

“Yeah, he is a great guy and he does make me happy,” you say aloud, yet it’s more to yourself as you’re struggling to make sense of all this. “Oh god, Ian,” you rub your temples. “Why now, Jack? Why couldn’t you realize all this before?”

“I mean, what difference does it make now… unless…. do you?... (Y/N)....”

You sit silently hug yourself.

“(Y/N), do you have feelings for me?”

“Yes, Jack, I’ve had feelings for you for the past I don’t know how many years now,” you snap, standing from your seat and pacing back and forth.

“Wait what?” now Jack stands from his seat and stops right in front of you accidentally causing you to collide with him and he instinctively holds you to steady you. “You–you’ve had feelings for me? Are they… are they over?”

“Are you over me?”

You gaze into each others’ eyes, each searching for an answer to their question. You catch Jack look at your lips and you can’t help but look back to his. Before either of you know it you’re slowly leaning into each other until there’s nothing left between you and your lips finally meet. Jack’s arms immediately snake around, bringing you in closer as he kisses you hungrily. You kiss him with the same craving and hunger as this is what you’ve wanted for so long. Yet, after a few seconds you pull back breaking the kiss and turning away from him.

“I’m sorry,” you turn once more to look at him before heading for the door, “I have to go… I just can’t right now, Jack.”

With that said, you exit his apartment and Jack slumps down onto his couch. He traces his lips with his fingertips recalling the taste and feel of yours lips on his before throwing his head back and sighing.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Later that day…..

Jack enters his apartment with Harry following behind him.

“You want a beer?” he asks Harry.

“Can’t.”

“What are you practicing sobriety all of a sudden?”

“Yeah, when the Nile runs dry.”

Jack laughs as he enters his kitchen and opens a beer for himself, Harry leans on a counter and Jack joins him to stand on the opposite side.

“I actually can’t right now. Patty and I have dinner plans in about an hour and I can’t be late or I’ll miss the earful she’s gonna give me for how drunk you were on your date with Annie and if I miss that it’s only gonna be worse when I get home.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. I really did want to try and move on but the entire night I couldn’t get (Y/N) out of my mind. I still haven’t talked to her since this morning ...”

“(Y/N) just needs time, Jack,” Harry reaches over the counter and comfortingly pats Jack’s shoulder.

“What if I lose her, Harry? And I mean completely. What if she doesn’t even want to keep me as a friend?”

“That’s not gonna happen. No matter what she decides, you guys have been friends for years and I know (Y/N), she’s not just gonna throw all that down the drain. You guys will get through this.”

Harry glances at his watch and begins to straighten himself out to leave.

“I gotta go. You’ll be okay?”

“I’ll find a way to be fro tonight,” Jack takes a few gulps of his beer. “Thanks again for taking me to bring my car back from the restaurant.”

“You can just pay me back a beer some other day. See you tomorrow, Jack.”

Harry exits Jack’s apartment and he’s about to go into his room until he hears a knock on his door. Thinking it’s Harry, he puts down his beer and goes to open the door.

“Rethought that beer did you– (Y/N)...,” he momentarily freezes.

“Hey, Jack, can I come in?”

“Yeah, of course,” Jack moves aside allowing you to walk in and you stand by his kitchen counter. “How are you?”

“Honestly? A lot better. And you?”

“At the moment I’m just really glad to see you. (Y/N), can we just forget what happened this morning?”

“Jack–”

“I don’t wanna lose you, (Y/N), I know you’re with Ian and I know things could probably get kinda weird because of what I said but I don’t want to not be with you in any way.”

You smile at his sincerity and your heart flutters within you as you say your next words.

“I don’t want to not be with you either,” Jack grins in relief at your words. “And as for Ian, he really is a great guy… but he’s not you.”

Jack’s eyes light up at your words.

“You mean?...”

You nod.

“I broke up with Ian. It’s always been you, Jack.”

Instantly Jack wraps his arms around you bringing you in for a tight, warm hug and briefly lifting you up. You happily giggle and hug him back, blushing when he pulls back to kiss your forehead.

“You have no idea how happy you’ve just made me,” he kisses your forehead once more. “Aw man, poor Ian, though.”

“Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. Now that I’ve had time to think about it we were moving kinda too fast with the vacation, he’s great but I did kinda just meet him.”

“Well his loss is my gain and I am not letting you go,” he looks lovingly into your eyes before slowly leaning in and capturing you both in an ardent kiss.

The first kiss of many that is to happen in your newfound relationship and the kiss that is to kickstart the new chapter in your lives together.

#jack traven x reader #you #keanu reeves #hope y'all enjoy!

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natsspammityspamspamham · 5 years

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1. Who’s your celebrity crush?

I don’t have celebrity crushes most of the time. I have people who I think are pretty and people that I admire, but I don’t have any of them that I crush on. Alongside my favourite voice actors (seiyuu), Emma Watson would definitely be up there. There’s something about intelligence that makes a person far more appealing.

2. Are you single or taken?

As single as they come! I haven’t even been in a relationship, and I don’t really have any interests in getting into one!

3. Rant. Just do it.

I’m nervous. I’m doubting. I hate this feeling in me. I feel so out of place, so uncomfortable, and it’s eating me on the inside. I wish I had friends in real life. I really wish I did, but it feels like I’m growing apart from everyone, and I’m pushing them all away because I can’t stand being reminded of my past, and I feel like every step I take is just a desperate attempt to get myself back on track, and I’m trying to be proud of myself. I really am. But I have a hard time acknowledging anything that I do. I never feel like I’m enough. I feel insufficient. I feel like I’m just a statistic. I feel inferior yet superior at the same time. My self-image is warped. I feel like I’m lying to myself and to others. It hurts. It hurts a lot, and I don’t want people to know but I do at the same time. It’s a pain unlike any other, and as much as I can say that I don’t feel lonely, I feel like there should be people in my life that I can call my friends, and I want someone that I can mutually call my best friend without them saying that they are just my “good friend”. I want to know that I mean the upmost to a person without feeling I’m burdening them. I want to be No. 1 at something.

I dream about chasing dreams like becoming a medical professional, but I continue to realize and face my shortcomings that would prove that I’m not really fit for it. I want to do it, but quite frankly, I’m too stupid.

I can’t even articulate what’s truly paining my mind. It’s difficult. I don’t know why my body and mind wants to destroy itself.

But sometimes, I think I fix myself better.

4. Do you think it's okay to separate the artist from the art?

Personally, I’m one of those people who usually say no to this question. Now, if you have weird kinks or like pineapple on pizza, that’s none of my business. I won’t hold it against you. However, I find it hard to separate when things are illegal or morally wrong.

Examples:

Net-juu no Susume was a really heartwarming anime, and it was one of my favourite anime that depicted a wholesome adult romance that unveiled many truths about the real world despite spending its time online, but I would’ve never watched the anime if I would have known that the director was a Holocaust-denier. The rest of the staff? I don’t know, but I felt extremely uncomfortable even reblogging content after I found out.

I was planning on watching Rurouni Kenshin, and to this day, I believe I’m missing out, but I cannot support or condone or even watch a series that has a creator as wretched as Nobuhiro Watsuki. If you don’t know, he was charged in February of 2017 for child pornography. He was fined 200,000 yen. It was a slap on the wrist. Even though Rurouni Kenshin wasn’t a reflection on his person according to fans, I don’t feel keen on watching a show created by such a man.

In regards to actors, this goes for them too. If they are not supportive of the LGBTQ community, if they are racist, if they have committed acts that are cannot be condoned, I wouldn’t want to watch them or anything. Again, I have a hard time keeping track of who’s actually clean in this world, and in Japan, there is a lot of covering up. It was recently revealed that a lot of Madhouse anime that people love were probably made at the expense of animators who are human beings.

5. How many accounts do you have?

I have a few.

@nsisbest385 - my main where I stockpile my music @natsspammityspamspamham - This one where I am really open and reblog everything that I want to reblog (no exceptions; if I don’t even think about it, I just reblog) @natsthinkitythinkthinkthonk - used to be for inspirational stuff/writing, but now it’s mostly seiyuu stuff. I post things for their birthdays. I should’ve made a separate account. @semitranslatedseiyuublog - Where I semi-translate stuff but mostly transfer seiyuu content from Reddit. @awkwardbsd - This account has more followers than all my other accounts combined. It’s for awkward screenshots, memes, and other stuff surrounding the Bungou Stray Dogs universe. @dragontypepropaganda - I didn’t tell anyone this existed until now. I’m generally not on it. I just queue and leave.

6. How many pairs of shoes do you have?

Let’s see... uh... 1 for outside, 1 for exercise, 1 for my house slippers, 3 for orchestra that I never use, 2 dress shoes that I really never use, and I’m supposed to get 1 pair of slippers for outside.

7. Opinion on…

I don’t think I can answer this.

8. How many accounts do you follow?

9. Favourite brand of clothing?

I’ve been wearing more Uniqlo lately, but my wardrobe has a lot of hand-me-downs despite being so sensitive tactile-wise.

10. Name a dog

Atticus (boy) and Haruko (girl)

11. What unusual talent do you have?

I can whistle. I haven’t tried in a while, but I can put my feet behind my head.

12. What’s the most interesting school's gossip you’ve ever heard?

Keep in mind, I was only in school until grade 9-10. One of my PE teachers Ms. Snow had really scary eyes. When she got mad at me (which is pretty frequent considering she didn’t know who I was and kept calling me by other Asian people’s names because “we look the same”), I swear her eyeballs would extend from her sockets a little. They looked like they were about to pop out of her head. My sister said that urban legend states that she once fell down the stairs and both eyeballs popped out. She put them back in and carried on.

13. Ever prank called a store?

I think I almost tried once until I got a scolding or something (wasn’t even my parents).

14. What’s your coffee order?

Don’t have one. I don’t like coffee. I’m generally open to tea.

15. What’s a question do you constantly get asked?

“How are you?” I usually choose the easy route to answer to this question. I just say “good thanks”. You want the truth? I lie to myself.

“Why did you leave school?” It was a living hell. I didn’t feel safe. I was breaking down years ago. School nearly broke me, and if I stayed there any longer, I would’ve died (not an exaggeration).

“What are your hobbies?” I usually just say music and watching cartoons* (anime). They usually ask what else, and I just stare blankly.

16. If you had to get a tattoo right now, what would you get and where?

I wouldn’t want one.

17. Google the top song from the year you were born

Apparently, it’s How You Remind Me by *gasp* Nickelback.

18. Rant about your favourite musician

I seriously wish I was able to go to Sara Bareille’s version of the Waitress. I wish I was able to see it on Broadway. She’s such a talented individual, and she deserves all the attention she gets.

19. What’s your favorite teacher you’ve ever had?

All of my best teachers have been outside of school. I would say that my favourite teachers are my current bass teacher and my taekwondo master who has taught me for over a decade.

20. Describe your blog in 3-5 words

Fando(o)m, ranting, anime, seiyuu, random

21. What’s a conspiracy you believe in?

I believe aliens exist. I don’t think it would be logical to assume that Earth is the only planet that has “intelligent” (I say that very loosely) lifeforms.

“But they don’t have water or oxygen” Bold of you to assume that said aliens would need such a thing. I would think they can adapt like humans and all that. I just think it’s dumb to close ourselves off to believing that there are people other than ourselves that exist in this wide and expanding universe.

22. If you could see any concert tonight what would you choose?

I would really want to see the Waitress. If that doesn’t count, I would want to see some seiyuu singing live. It would depend. Hosoya doesn’t sing much anymore, Maaya Sakamoto has a waitlist longer than my lifespan (I have no luck with lotteries), and Saori Hayami has the same issue. I would want to see Sphere live too, but I don’t know all of their songs.

23. If you could break one of your bad habits which would you choose?

My depression... or my anxiety. Actually, those aren’t habits. I guess the closest I will get is doubting myself and beating myself up.

24. Can you dance? Sing?

A strong no to both.

25. What’s something you can’t stop buying?

Uh… I don’t go out and buy anything. I don’t make money so I don’t buy. However, if I did, I would really want to treat myself to good food and anime stuff.

26. Crowds or small groups?

Small groups... obviously.

27. How long before a trip do you pack?

Depends on where. When it comes to the Philippines, weeks for the Balikbayan boxes and less than a week for my actual clothes (usually pack a ton of clothes because I sweat a lot and “we’re not doing laundry!”)

28. What celebrity would you rate a PERFECT 10?

I feel like I don’t have a good grasp of the culture so I actually can’t say anything about my favourite seiyuu. We don’t even know if that’s their true personality. However, I feel like my perfect 10s are Emma Watson and Robin Williams. They might not be my “crushes”, but they are perfect 10s.

29. What quote or inspirational setting do you think is bs?

“When you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up!” Nah man, you just don’t know what rock bottom looks like. It’s gonna get worse.

“Don’t fix what isn’t broken!” All because you can’t see what’s wrong with it doesn’t mean it isn’t broken. Yeah, I’m talking about the school system.

“Pain makes you who you are. It makes you stronger.” I can say that my trauma gives me anxiety.

30. If you had to dye your hair an unnatural colour right now, what would you choose?

I go by “Purple Dino” online so I’d have to say dark purple.

31. You can change one thing about your life right now. what are you changing?

I wish I could breathe properly. My allergies make it so hard for me to exist. It affects my breathing, sleep, dental care, and so much more. I think that’s the one physical thing I would change.

32. How old do you get mistaken for?

Apparently, I look like I’m in middle school even though I’m almost a legal adult.

33. What do you think about a lot?

Anime, seiyuu, my own shortcomings.

34. Do you like your Hogwarts house or do you wish you were a different one?

I like Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff. I haven’t done my test in a while.

35. What does home mean to you?

Home is where you live. It’s where the heart lives. It’s where you feel safe, and it’s where you can take off the mask that you live in during the day. It’s the place where I don’t have to lie through my teeth. I can cry, I can laugh, I can scream, and I can finally be me.

36. What do you think you’d be arrested for?

I feel like I would be caught for pirating anime even if I don’t profit off it.

37. Have you ever been called down to the principal's office?

I’ve been there, but I haven’t been called down there because I really wasn’t important in school.

38. Post a picture of the outfit you would choose if you could have any outfit you wanted

Probably a dark coloured hoodie with sweatpants. That’s my default during the winter anyway.

39. Describe your aesthetic

Tired dead eyes with existential dread and depression. That’s how I see myself.

40. Answer with one of your ‘school memes’ (inside jokes you have with your class/grade) with no explanation

I’m not sure how to say this, but I was really not in the “right crowd” at school, and I was never let into any of these things. I can’t answer this, and it pains me just to read this because I’m missing out on so much of my youth and “high school life”.

I’m tagging @caratheillustrious who reblogged the questions!

#ask

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eponymous-rose · 6 years

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E7 (Feb 27, 2018)

There were a few more (vague) references to the first campaign in this episode than usual, so I’ve tried to keep them non-specific/spoiler-free for folks who are still catching up.

Tonight’s guests are Marisha Ray and Liam O’Brien!

Announcements: Marisha’s feeling better but now Matt’s sick (general consensus is that he’ll be feeling well enough to DM on Thursday); Vox Machina: Origins number 5 will be released on March 7; Laura and Travis will be at Emerald City Comic Con, where you can pick up a physical copy of Vox Machina: Origins number 1 at the Dark Horse booth; ECCC Critter meetups will be on Thursday March 1st at 7PM for a live watch of the show and then March 3rd from 7PM to midnight, both at the Raygun Lounge; the C2E7 podcast is available this Thursday; shout-out to the awesome mods in the community; tomorrow at 11AM Pacific, Brian will be hosting a stream with Sideshow Collectibles, unveiling a statue (tragically not of Sam’s body).

@critrolestats for this episode:

Beau has rolled the most natural 20s this campaign. Her total is 13: one in episode one, and then two in each subsequent session.

Khary’s opening roll was the first time a guest player’s first roll was a natural one; Kit Buss was the only guest to start out with a natural 20.

There have already been 18 references to Judas Priest’s “Breaking the Law” in the campaign. 13 of them happened in this last episode.

Khary mentioned to Liam ages ago that he was about to start DMing for his daughter, which is when they started trying to get schedules to match up for his guest appearance.

Liam’s having fun getting specific with spell components rather than going for the “Apple remote” approach of using a focus to cast spells. The descriptions will mainly focus on more novel spells (he won’t still be describing Chromatic Orb in detail at level 20).

The Geek and Sundry Facebook/Instagram has the video of Khary destroying the cursed die. The pieces were stolen from Dani’s desk over the weekend. The plot thickens.

Marisha talks about how it can be fun to set yourself up for failure a bit, like with the ball bearings. Everyone decides on the next T-shirt: “Critical Role: Embrace the Failure”.

Liam has a bucket list of spells for Caleb, some of which he doesn’t want to mention yet because they’re story-related, but he does really want to get his hands on Mordenkainen’s Magnificent Mansion.

Marisha felt a little warm and fuzzy inside knowing that Beau nearly had her own practically-goldfish moment. She was less concerned about the fall damage than what was potentially at the bottom of the pit.

Gif of the Week: ♪It’s DnD Beyoooooond!♪

The reason Caleb and Nott are together is because “they’re two pieces of garbage floating around in the world like plastic bags”. They were in a little podunk town jail; it wasn’t a major thing, but it was where they met. They both have no place to go. Caleb has “things that he sticks to, but his moral code is dicey. Survival is good, getting by is good, breathing.” Everyone’s still figuring out the relationships, but Liam has been surprised at how much Caleb cares about Nott’s safety.

Both agree that the short rest was worth it.

Beau is surprised by her own fighting ability. She’s always had some natural skill as a reckless fighter and basic training from the Cobalt Soul monks, and Marisha’s been describing her attacks that way: wild haymakers, etc.. “No one’s going to start as fucking Bruce Lee.” But now she can take those solid natural instincts and build upon them, trying to show a progression. Even Marisha was surprised when she succeeded in catching the arrow out of the air.

Liam gets asked who smelled worse: Caleb or Vax in the armor. Pre-year break, Vax smelled “weirder”.

Beau has theories about Caleb’s shut-down last episode. “Beau has Percy Syndrome: she thinks she’s the smartest person in the room right now.” “Caleb is not dying to know much about any of you fuckers.” Combination of not knowing them too well yet and wanting to keep his head down.

Fanart of the Week: Shakäste and Nott!

Another winner: Vox Machina: An Exandrian Musical! Everyone’s been listening to it on repeat. Marisha: “Matt and I cried so much.”

Beau didn’t see the rescue of Nott as risking her life to save her. “She has teenage arrogance, ‘I’m going to live forever!’” She’s driven by cockiness at this point. She knew she could close the gap, so she thought she was the one who could do it.

Had any of them thought about killing the baby manticore? Beau threw out the idea of selling the baby manticore, but she was mainly concentrating on getting in and out and not dying. Caleb thought that if they could kill everything in the room without dying themselves, they should do that.

Brian asks about the grey-morality tone of the new campaign. Marisha talks about the balance you have to strike, “almost a metagame element”, of wanting to be a team. Liam points out that character flaws introduce an element of unpredictability. Marisha notes that the same character qualities can often shift from "good” to “bad” and back, depending on the situation. Marisha: “Tonally, Vox Machina acted emotionally a lot more so far. We don’t have that yet, that connection.” Liam: “It feels like we all want to mess with the system a little more and come at it with a sideways approach, just to see what happens.” Marisha describes how they set the tone with Vox Machina earlier, and how that gives them a little leeway in the new campaign. Brian zeroes in on the notion of “the human heart in conflict with itself” being a great source of drama and excitement for a viewer. “As you guys get closer in the game, those stakes get higher.”

The Nott-Caleb relationship was a last-second decision that “has complicated the fuck out of what I’ve got going on,” but Liam’s delighted to have that complication, because that kind of thing is the heart of the game for them as actors. He points out how episode 85′s massive emotional impact was the perfect example of that kind of messiness.

What Beau doesn’t like about Molly is the same stuff that Beau doesn’t especially like about herself. Marisha suspects it’s the sort of thing that can develop into mutual respect in the long run.

Liam gets asked about Caleb’s moment at the end of the episode. Marisha: “Answer! Answer! You never answer shit!” Liam brings up how Taliesin’s talked about how Matt will take the bare-bones story they provide him and flesh it out in a surprising way. Marisha: “No one’s backstories or secrets are safe from Matt Mercer at this moment.”

Talks Machina After Dark:

Fave tracks from Vox Machina: An Exandrian Musical: “Burn”, “Animus”, “Dear Kaylie”, “It’s Quiet in Town”, “The Room Where it Happens”.

Sometimes Matt and Marisha will go over specific events in the battle where a single moment was clutch. Nott going in when she did saved Fjord from a full round of attacks at advantage. Beau saved Nott by jumping in even with the attack of opportunity, because with her 1 HP, the next full round of attacks would’ve killed her. Jester didn’t have the speed to get to Nott, so Beau saved her by getting her closer to Jester, but then Jester went down... and Fjord succeeded on his wisdom saving throw, which let him save her so she could save Nott. No matter how messy things seem in the moment, laying them out like that show how it can all work out.

Note-taking in D&D! Liam, on trying to decipher scribbles post-game: “Either slow down when you write or don’t bother.” Without the pressure of the cameras, Marisha would do things differently. In the last campaign, she had one book for specific enemies she could refer back to, but fell off on keeping it up around the time they were mainly just fighting specific dragons rather than dungeon-crawl stuff. She currently takes notes chronologically, with specific symbols/annotations to indicate names of cities, NPCs, plot points, etc. Liam: “What are all the dickbutts for?” Marisha: “That’s Laura. She keeps stealing my notebook. ...no, that’s not true.” Marisha brings up some advice she got: keep your notes concise and make them look interesting; she also does doodles now that can draw her attention while flipping through and looking for something in particular.

Theories on Shakäste? Liam: “I think he’s the wind.” Marisha: “I think he’s what we might be in 20 years if we all live.”

“What were your immediate thoughts after Nott stabbed the manticore baby?” Marisha: “The fuck?! (...) Just because it was necessary doesn’t mean it was any less brutal.” Liam: “Caleb has seen Nott do wild, unpredictable things that have a high rate of success. She is a Golden Snitch. It just kind of works out.”

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

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guccixstyless · 6 years

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Our Little Secret

Request: Anonymous- Hey i love your writing! To celebrate my birthday on saturday i want to request an imagine. Maybe you've been together with harry for a few months & even been travelling with him but the fans just didn't notice because you were just walking in the background and then videos of you two singing christmas karaoke at a party (2016 harry singing last christmas still haunts me) get leaked or get posted & suddenly you are bombarded by paps & fans. Thank youuu. Sorry i'm so bad at describing things haha

A/N’s: Happy Birthday! Hope you have a lovely day! Here’s a little present from me aka this imagine! Hope you like it, please do send me your feedback, lots of love!

Word Count: 1.42k words

Pairing: Harry Styles X Reader

***********************************************

You’ve met Harry through a mutual friend, that friend set you both up on a blind date. A date which you’ll never forget, Harry was an absolute gentleman. The date was a perfect dine and wine. You were starstruck a bit but the rest of the night Harry made you feel comfortable and you enjoyed the time you spent with him.

That was the end, you thought, but after two days Harry called you again for a coffee date. Now, you were both full on dating, it’s been three months.

Harry and you both agreed to keep the relationship in private. You saw how his previous rumored girlfriends got hate sent to them and Harry didn’t want you to go through the same. So you kept it a secret between close friends and family.

When you both started dating initially Harry was still on tour so you had to be very sneaky when meeting him. You guys were constantly texting each other and facetiming. It was puppy love.

You attended as much concerts as you could while he was in the states and you successfully did without getting spotted.

You were a normal girl so you were able to enjoy the concert with his other fans, no one having a single clue you were Harry Styles’ girlfriend.

Today was the last concert, so you decided to surprise him. You flew all the way to Japan from New York. Jeff and Glenne helped you plan this surprise.

You were a bit far away from stage so that he doesn’t notice you and enjoyed the full concert, beaming with pride at your boyfriend.

After the concert you went backstage and saw your handsome man, wearing red suit, which looked more beautiful in close distance, laughing at something Adam said possibly. His back was facing you.

Adam spotted you but you signaled him to stay quiet and then you snuggled his waist from behind.

“Surprise,” you said placing a gentle kiss on his shoulder.

Harry quickly turned around and he gave you the biggest grin, “Y/N!”

He spun you around and gave you a long kiss, “You’re here!”

“I am!”

“So that’s why you weren’t answering your phone? I was so worried.” He frowned.

“Yeah, I’m sorry I was on flight,” you said kissing his knuckles, “did you like my surprise?”

“Best surprise ever,” he said smiling.

You then met the rest of the band, while he went to shower you began to catch up with others.

“He doesn’t stop talking about you,” Clare smiled sipping her sprite.

“Yeah sometimes it gets annoying,” Mitch said chuckling.

“He’s smitten, that one I’m telling ya,” Sarah said winking.

You blushed.

You felt his familiar arms snake around your waist before he began mumbling, “what are you guys talking about?”

“Not much, we were just telling her to run away from you, she still got time,” Clare chuckled.

“Heyy, don’t scare her away from me,” Harry whined jokingly and pulled you closer to him.

……..

You stayed in Japan for few more days before Harry and you flew back to New York. You will finally get him for yourself for three months, you were ecstatic.

He mostly stayed over at your place and left very early in morning so that y’all don’t get caught.

“Your baking skills is impressive,” you said as you munched into the cookies Harry baked.

“Is it now,” he said smirking before hugging you.

“Your phone’s ringing you knob,” you said pointing at his phone.

“You are a bully!” he chuckled before answering, “Niall, mate, ‘sup?”

You began scrolling through your phone, Harry came back into the kitchen few minutes and he looked excited.

“Baby, do you fancy going to a karaoke party? It’s just two blocks away,” he asked you excitedly.

“Now?”

“Yeah,”

“Let’s go!”

“That’s why I love you, you’re always up for adventure,” Harry said looking at you lovingly before he realized what he said.

You guys were dating for a little over three months and haven’t exchanged those three magical words yet, so it took you by surprise.

“Yo-you love me?” You asked nervously.

“I love you! I know it’s super early to say this but I’m so sure I love you,” Harry said confidently.

You smiled at him, he’s just too precious.

“You don’t have to say it back yet though if you’re not ready,” Harry said suddenly feeling nervous, you didn’t say it back yet.

You quickly went towards him and whispered, “I love you too Harry, so much,” and with that you kissed him.

You felt him smile into the kiss and then he deepened it. Harry’s phone rang again.

He quickly answered it saying, “yeah, yeah we’ll be there in a bit.”

“Let’s go then lover,” you said chuckling.

“Hey I kinda like that name missus,” he winked.

……..

The party looked fun, everyone was already half-drunk it seemed like. It was not a big gathering rather a close-friends gathering type of thing.

The bar looked busy but after you both arrived you were already handed drinks.

“My love, they have a karaoke setup, let’s sing!” Harry said.

“Let’s do it baby!” You said finishing your drink before going on stage.

“Nick put on a Christmas song mate,” Harry requested.

“Ah our lovely couple, let’s hear it from Harry and Y/N!” Nick cheered.

You and Harry started singing All I Want For Christmas Is You, and you really enjoyed singing with him, it was the first time you did a karaoke with him. You both then kissed while everyone cheered.

“Wow baby, didn’t know you can sing this well, you should be my opening act next tour,” Harry said after you both got off stage.

“Ah no, let’s keep the singing job for you,” you chuckled.

“I texted chauffeur, he’ll take us at my place, let’s just get drunk tonight, baby!” Harry said cheerfully.

It was a Saturday night anyway so you agreed and began drinking. You felt relax and Harry was being extra cuddly.

The night went really smoothly and you guys reached Harry’s apartment safely and without encountering with any paps.

…..

You woke up the next morning feeling Harry’s armm securely holding you, you snuggled closer into his chest and placed a small kiss.

You felt the hungover, your headache were killing you so you went to the kitched and had some advil pills.

You came back into the room, seeing Harry still sleeping, snoring ever so softly.

You took your phone from the nightstand and was surprised to see 13 text messages, you frowned and quickly unlocked the phone and gasped.

“Oh no no no! SHIT!” You yelled slightly.

“Baby, hey what happened,” Harry woke up and he looked panicked.

“Harry! Someone from last night posted a karaoke video of us last night and now everyone figured out it’s us,” you said panicking.

“I’m so sorry baby,” Harry said in loss of words.

“Don’t apologize H, they were bound to find out sooner or later,” you said assuring him.

He kissed your forehead and said, “I will not let anyone harm you.”

“I know you won’t,” you smiled.

……….

The next day when you and Harry stepped out of your apartment you saw a lot of men with cameras outside, you also spotted few fans. You covered the left side of our face from all the flashes

“Oh shit,” you mumbled quietly, bracing yourself to go out.

“Just hold my hand baby,” Harry said gently.

You held his hand and began walking.

“HOW DID YOU BOTH MEET?”

“HARRY! IS SHE JUST ANOTHER ONE-NIGHT STAND?”

“HARRY! LOOK OVER HERE!”

“Y/N, WHAT’S IT LIKE DATING HARRY?”

“WHY ARE YOU EVEN DATING HER HARRY? YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER!” A fan screamed.

“Y/N TAKE CARE OF HIM, WE LOVE YOU!” Another girl screamed.

You both went inside the car and he pulled you closer to him as his chauffeur began to drive.

You were still overwhelmed with what happened just now, you always hated attention and now there’s no escaping.

“Y/N, it’s okay..we’re fine now.” He said, trying to calm you down.

“I’m fine, it was insane out there,”

“Oh tell me about it, I’m so sorry you got dragged into this,” he said sadly.

“Hey now,” you cupped his face, caressing it gently, “I knew this would happen when they found out, stop apologizing, I love you, I can deal with this.”

He smiled softly.

“I love you,” he said kissing you.

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles x reader #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles tour #harry styles blurb

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jeonggukingdom · 7 years

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favorite writers & stories

So, since I was away during the “writer’s day appreciation post” thing, I didn’t have the possibility of tagging some of my favorites on this platform and I really wanted to participate in the event. What I’m doing today is listing some of my all time favorite writers and their stories just to share with you guys the awesomeness I witnessed and to sort of make amends for the writer’s day :)

⚜ A ticket to the sun - @gukvory | angst

Overpopulation of the planet leads to the unethical method of culling thousands of people once every month through a customary enlistment ballot. In such a world where your future is determined by your name on a piece of paper, life becomes much easier when you choose to be desensitised of emotions such as love and affection. But such an ideal flips completely upside down when Y/N punches a kid called Min Yoongi in the face.

This story. Boy, one of my favorite of all times I cannot even express how much I love it. If it were a book, I’d buy every copy out there and cherish it with all my heart. That’s how good this is.

⚜ Sillage - @deerguk | angst, soulmate!AU

siːˈjɑːʒ/ noun

the scent that lingers in the air, the trail left in the water, the impression made in space after something or somebody has been and gone.

I know Fawn is not a reality anymore BUT this was one of the first fan fictions I read on this platform and I was sold. This is the reason why I started writing again when I had stopped years ago, ok. It’s the story that brought me back to my roots and passion and I will never stop putting it out there whenever my favorites are mentioned.

⚜ Equilibrium - @tayegi | angst, smut, polyamory relationship

Jikook polyamory loosely based on Woody Allen’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

What I absolutely love about this story is not the smut, the entrancing sex and the titillating thoughts it evokes - even though they are a wonderful addition - but the way the characters are absolutely human and flawed and even hateable at times. This story seems so real it baffles me. She doesn’t try to make you love each character but she describes them for what they are and that is the most beautiful thing in the world because we all need characters that are human, that can and will make stupid mistakes like we all do. I just love it.

⚜ Transference - @jeonjagiya | smut, angst

During a routine visit to the local bakery, you stumble upon an intriguing business card and figure, what the hell. The business arrangement becomes...mutually beneficial.

I love everything Iris ever wrote and ever will write, ok. But let me tell you: it’s not even just a smut story. Oh no. Iris blends so many more things into it can’t just be described as a smut story. Of course, there are sexual activities in it, of course, there is a lot of sexual tension going on, of course, you’ll need a gallon of water after reading each chapter B U T there is so much more to the plot! And it’s written so beautifully I just cannot believe this is a fan fiction and not something published and sold in the whole world. Damn, I love this story.

⚜ Aquiver - @floralseokjin | smut

Yoongi can’t remember the last time he was able to successfully bring himself to the point of orgasm, then Namjoon gives him a business card advertising ‘Healing Hands’, and that’s where he meets you; pretty and innocent looking, who gets paid to provide hand jobs for a living…

I read this story when a lot of chapters were already out and I WAS ON THE VERGE OF SCREAMING THE ENTIRE TIME. This story got me hooked and left me speechless and let me tell you, a lot of talent is required to make look beautiful even a handjob given inside a shop, ok. Jordan writes so beautifully I just can’t. She makes long chapter feel like a drabble and it’s so utterly amazing.

⚜ Paper Dolls - @jheartseok | smut, slight angst

When the nation’s little sister, IU, gets into a huge scandal, your agency seizes the opportunity to thrust you into that now vacant spotlight. Your self-composed song Paper Doll becomes an overnight sensation, and soon people are itching to find out who was the one who broke your heart. All hell breaks loose once netizens discover that you used to date popular idol, Jeon Jungkook. Little do they know that it wasn’t him who left the relationship unscathed – it was you.

Look, this is written by a goddess, period. I loved every single thing about this and most of all the fact that it could pretty much be a real story too. The realism is so on point it’s mesmerizing and I suffered so much reading this - for all the right reasons - I just couldn’t not mention it.

⚜ A cog in the machine - @ricepot-jisung | angst, smut, robot!AU

a cog in the machine: a small or insignificant member of a larger organization or system

Rams and robot!Jimin. Do I even need to elaborate that further? I just love everything about this. The peremisis got me hooked, the first chapter got me hooked, just... everything. I love it so much and Rams’ angst is known for ruining people’s lives and I am a H U G E sucker for angst so... how could I not mention this masterpiece?

⚜ Mr. Min - @ellieljade | smut, angst

Your CEO caught your attention the first day you started your new job and it seems the attraction is mutual. Too bad he’s only interested in a relationship that benefits him.

If you never heard of this story before you were probably living under a rock. No, I’m kidding but at the same time, I am not. This story is so famous and rightfully so I almost slapped myself when it was recommended to me and a lot of chapters were already out. Like... where was I when this was happening? I read pretty much 3/4 of it in one take. I KNOW. It’s that addicting and it made me go to sleep long past midnight because I just had to finish the chapter. I just love it. It made my heart flutter, it made me cry, it made me scream and it also almost made me throw my phone out of the window. Perfect.

⚜ Miss Dial - @versigny & @cyphertrip | smut

[11:31] You: okay so i’m texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting yoongi and telling him how badly i want his cock tonight. Arent you proud?

[11:32] unknown number: this is yoongi, hi

Just. Just read this ok. I don’t even have words to discribe how much I love this and how much water I had to consume while reading it. This is golden and if you never read a single word of this masterpiece than... go read it now! (No but really, this is one of my top 5 stories out there ok.)

⚜ Patronage - @chimdeer | A N G S T

You are an aspiring artist; you paint, you write music, you recreate life with every measly tool you have. it is a life filled with passion, but passion does not fill your needs. imagine your surprise then, when a man younger than you–but surely of a higher status—approaches you and offers his patronage.

This fic was born by a joke, a way to make me suffer and look what it became: utter perfection. Could this really not be mentioned in here when it was created on exactly what I love the most? And it’s so angsty I just cannot cope with it sometimes. But oh, is it wonderful to read. This ff has a special place in my heart just like its writer does so, go read it.

Ok, these are the ff I feel closest to, the ones I always look up to when I think about writing my own stories and these are also my favroite writers in here and I’m sure I’m missing many in this post but these are genuinly the first that came to mind on the spot. Thank you for reading this and most of all a big T H A N K Y O U to the authors of such beautiful stories. I love you all ♥

#favorite writers #favorite stories

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rhysand-vs-fenrys · 7 years

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A PSA on Online Scams and Creeps (Please Read)

I know this isn’t typically what you all see from me, but lately I’ve gotten a lot of messages from various scam tumblrs, a handful of e-mails, and even a few phone calls. Others have been reporting the same uptick in scammers, and so I wanted to do a PSA for those of you who might find yourselves vulnerable.

Scams do not just target the old and elderly, I personally know people who fell prey to scammers who are teenagers or in their early 20s, and every personal story I share in this post is from someone within that age range.

In this post I’m going to describe some of the scams I’ve seen, and then later on I have a message for anyone who has been the victim of one of these scams.

There is no judgement against anyone who has been duped, if it comes across that way I wholeheartedly apologize. The purpose of this post is to identify some common scams and give some advice on how to handle them if you’ve been caught in a trap. Victim shaming is not my intention.

The Scams:

Hey, I’m a celebrity you love and I’m DM’ing you to tell you _______.

This is like a daily occurrence in some fandoms (Sebastian Stan fandom gets it 8 times a day and that’s why I’m tagging that fandom on this). It presents itself like this: You get a DM on twitter or IG from an account with a similar name to the URL of your favorite celebrity. They tell you they’ve seen your posts in their defense, they’ve gotten your messages, or they saw your icon after noticing you in the comments and fell in love. The first messages probably seem chaste- they’re just opening the door for a conversation and will gradually push it from there.

The important thing to know about these is that they are FAKE, but they’re also good at what they do. They’ll back down if you start to pull back, they’ll reassure you, they might even say “I know it sounds like a scam but I couldn’t send this from my real account because ______”.

No matter what reason they give::: It. Isn’t. Real.

It’s a lovely thought- that your favorite celebrity fell in love with you via IG or twitter. That you moved them so much with your care and honest defense of their honor that they’ve fallen for you in some kind of fairytale romance- but it isn’t real. This scam segues into asking for your address or asking for pictures or money- none of which you should be giving away online to anyone, no matter what. If they really want to contact you, tell them to do it from their verified account, no matter what their excuses are, or they can contact you through official channels.

A friend of mine in high school legitimately believed she was in an online and snail-mail based relationship with voice actor Vic Mignogna, and whatever guy it really was started by sending her little things based on the shows that actor worked on- little fangear trinkets. Over MONTHS it segued into him asking her to send him stuff- like “send me $15 and I’ll hook you up with this little exclusive thing”, or “hey, can I get a picture of you in that skimpy tee I sent”. Luckily she wised up to what was going on (after she told some of us and we told her if she didn’t sound the alarm we would) and handed that e-mail address and the address she’d sent cash to over to the police.

Hi, I’m a follower or other user or this messaging service who wants to talk to you and see where things go...

Skype is the absolute WORST for this scam, but I have personally dealt with this one though even just tumblr. Sometimes it’s a scammer, sometimes it’s just a creeper, either way, it’s dangerous.

My experience was with two followers who I’d chat with normally and they seemed fine, then they started getting more and more out there with their messages. One would ask me for pictures of me in a swimsuit, the other KEPT making comments like “I’m going out with friends tonight, I wish you were with us...” and ignored me repeatedly saying those kinds of comments made me uncomfortable (Flirting with an online person just feels skeevy to me).

I blocked both, and that’s really the best thing you can do. Don’t forget- scammers or pervs will spend weeks if not months if they think their efforts can end in a pay day.

It’s called “catfishing” (though that term mostly refers to when the scammers target men). You can google it for a plethora of examples of various tricks and traps used.

Skype is dangerous particularly because it deals with your webcam. You might see a legit person on your screen, but don’t let that trick you into trusting them. NEVER send an online person something- loaning money via paypal can end with your account hacked, sending stuff IRL is just paying into their hands directly, and things like nude pictures/videos??? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!!!!!!! Just because you can see them on your screen doesn’t mean you can trust them.

A Note About Webcam Hacks//Videos

A lot of scams are scams because they start innocently. A relationship building via some messaging service (this one happened through an early version of skype to someone close to me) leads to... well... you know. You flash a bit of skin, maybe some cleavage, maybe you talk in a swimsuit top or bra, then maybe it slowly escalates and you’re covered by a blanket but you’re encouraged to masturbate while they watch your face or engage in some form of cybersex.

It is absurdly easy to record what is on the screen of your computer. In most Macs, the program is even available as an app to record your screen and/or skype calls specifically. Hell, I’ve used that same program on my PC when working on projects for language classes in school.

I talk in a moment about what to do if you’ve been scammed via an inappropriate video or pictures, but know that cyber-sex is DANGEROUS because of how easy it is to blackmail someone with a screenshot or video.

There is good news if you’re facing that and I will get into that later, but I wanted to post this here along with that previous story.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU’VE BEEN CAUGHT IN A TRAP

****FIRST OFF::: SAVE ANY AND ALL MESSAGES ON AN EXTERNAL DRIVE, FLASH DRIVE, E-MAIL SCREENSHOTS TO YOURSELF, AND/OR SAVE THEM TO A CLOUD SITE, THIS IS EVIDENCE.

***** SECOND OFF::: WITH ALL THAT INFO SAVED- INCLUDING THE SCAMMER’S PROFILE INFORMATION- CALL THE POLICE. SAVING THE EVIDENCE IS IMPORTANT, BUT CALLING THE POLICE IS NON-NEGOTIABLE. THAT IS THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO IF YOU ARE BEING SCAMMED.

If you live in the United States, do not be alarmed if you call the police and they mention the FBI It sounds intimidating, but the FBI handles crimes that cross state boundaries (where there are questions of jurisdiction) and international issues. Because of that mandate, cyber crimes automatically fall under their command, since they can more easily investigate.

ALSO-- DO NOT TELL THE PERSON SCAMMING YOU THAT YOU ARE CALLING THE POLICE. DO NOT THREATEN THEM, DO NOT SAY OR DO ANYTHING BUT CALL THE POLICE.

Once you have contacted the police, report that person’s profile/username to the website or app you met them through. Every single site has a way to report scammers. Take advantage.

The Bad News:

If you’ve been scammed out of money via paypal or you were tricked into sending someone money for any purpose (to help with their “bills” or even straight-up blackmail money):: You’re not seeing that money ever again, more likely than not.

If you’re being blackmailed or scammed by someone you know, then yes- you might be able to take them to court and get that money back... But most scammers online aren’t caught.

There’s just not enough manpower in law enforcement or cooperation between state or national governments for any kind of significant prosecution unless they break more laws than lying online or blackmail. Now, if there is a sexual component to this, that changes how strongly they’ll focus on the case, but you’re still not likely to see the money again.

The Good News

No matter what threats are made against you, no matter what the person scamming you may say--- most scammers do not follow through with their blackmail threats.

Even if they send you screen shots to prove they have whatever they are blackmailing you with (usually blackmail has a sexual component, but not always), even if they sound super serious, most do not follow through.

The fact of the matter is that a lot of scammers do this as their way of making money. They can’t be bothered to follow through with the threats, because it invites more trouble than it’s worth. Remember when I said a lot of scammers aren’t caught because countries can’t be bothered with blackmail and making false statements online? Well that goes out the window as soon as they actually follow through. The charges become more serious, especially if they release any videos or pictures they have of you.

I’ve got to put it in here to be super clear- some may follow through. When I say most scammers don’t follow through I mean that in the handful of cases I have seen of this IRL with friends or even family, the threats were baseless. They never followed through no matter how far they went with the threats- threats that included fabricating screenshots that “show” them e-mailing the file or video to mutual contacts or again doctored images that make it look like they’ve created a profile in your name.

I worked on a documentary about people being scammed, and while that mostly focused on the elderly, we saw plenty of cases where it happened to a teen or young adult. I don’t know of a single case- of the dozen or so I heard- where the person trying to blackmail the victim ever actually did what they said they would. In looking up scams online you see hundreds of stories of people calling the scammer’s bluff and nothing ever escalates.

Again, I’m not saying it never happens, I’m saying that in my experience, the odds are massively in your favor.

If someone *does* follow through with their blackmail threats though---

The Good News

Compromising pictures and media are the most common way scammers catch you in their traps and extort you for money. They threaten to post the videos/pictures if you don’t put up however much they’re demanding.

THE LAW IS ON YOUR SIDE.

Even just in the last MONTH, countries all around the world (including the US and many states individually) have been passing stricter and stricter laws against what is known as “revenge porn”. What ‘revenge porn’ means is that it does not matter if you were consenting to appear on webcam with someone and have cybersex- it doesn’t matter if you willingly recorded it- if the video or any pictures are posted online without your express consent and permission, the person who posted it can be arrested and the website the video is on can be sued.

Because of these stricter laws protecting people from having their privacy violated so wholly, porn websites are getting better about making it easy to report revenge porn and they take it down DAMN FAST. Depending on where you are, a website can be sued for EACH VIEW the video got before it was taken down, adding an extra layer of incentive for them to get it down FAST.

If someone posts ANYTHING without your consent, your first call is to the police to file a police report (in most states this can be done over the phone and you might have to go in at a later time to actually sign the papers). The second thing you do is report that video and contact the website it was posted to. Again, take a screenshot that shows the URL of the site and, if you can, the username of the person posting it. Then take another screen shot of that person’s profile page on the website.

The Bad News

The bad side of this is that yes, people will see it. It might be just one, it might be a much higher number before it’s caught and taken down. The odds are that no one you know will see it unless they’re specifically sent it by the person attacking you.

It’s a horrible situation to be in, and knowing that the law is on your side doesn’t change the embarrassment you feel or the shame of being tricked, but know that you’re the victim. Maybe you made a bad call, trusted the wrong person, but you aren’t the bad guy in this story. The person who is attacking you is the one to blame.

Call the police, I can’t stress that enough. Call the police because they see this happening and they’re police officers because they want to help people and because they want to make things safer. Everything you feel- every last ounce of stress and pain- by calling the police you have the power to maybe stop someone else from feeling that.

It’s a sad fact of the world we live in that people online need to be treated like a computer virus. Don’t trust easily, don’t trust wholly, and don’t take anything at face-value alone.

Also- if someone wants your bank account number for any reason, asks you to send them money for any reason, or even randomly one day sends you a link they want you to blindly follow, BLOCK their ass and spare yourself the headache.

#psa #scams #scammers #tumblr #skype #twitter #instagram #non fandom #sebastian stan #tagging that fandom because they have a serious issue with it

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prixmiumarchive · 7 years

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Goodbye Judas

Or, A Theme I Notice I Love

I have weird Unemployment Restlessness right now, and so I have been piddling at many things such as pointlessly organizing my tumblr things in a behind the scenes way that literally no one cares about. I was trying to find a theme to maybe switch to, then started to work on one myself. Now I’m getting too damn tried to continue for now, but while I was thinking about what feel I wanted for my theme an the fiction I’ve been enjoying most-recently, I was kind of caught on two of my favorite lines from stuff right now. One is from my long-time and probably all-time love, Doctor Who, while the other is from Wonder Woman, the thing I didn’t even expect to like. Then, I was reminded of something else, too.

I have skipped around Doctor Who this year. I still haven’t seen what seemed to be the thematic pin for the season, Extremis. (I got really behind and skipped to TDF, and I’ll catch up later.) But a friend of mine in the roleplaying community pointed ou the quote to me around the time it aired, and it was echoed literally and thematically in The Doctor Falls. The quote that the theme of this season centers around is:

Only in darkness are we revealed. [...] Goodness is not goodness that seeks advantage. Good is good in the final hour, in the deepest pit, without hope, without witness, without reward. Virtue is only virtue in extremis.

Then, my new love, Wonder Woman had Diana learning a hard lesson through experience that, while not the same, complements this very well, in my opinion. Steve Trevor puts it into words when he says:

It’s not about ‘deserve.’ It’s about what you believe.

I say he put it into words, but that doesn’t mean he’s the only one getting the idea. Steve is great and here’s a Mary Sue article chewing over gender equality and Wonder Woman. But the point here is, Diana sort of sees and already knows the lesson she has to learn, in some ways, before she ever enters the world of men. Her character arc has a lot to do with learning how to accept and deal with that lesson. No matter what inspiring genesis of humanity story she believes, that anyone believes, whether it is true or whether it’s not, one can only look to it as one facet of where we are now. Even if we believe that humans were created to be good, to love, and to be just, we must accept that we have taken on many traits that are at odds with that fact.

Diana, in her innocence and optimism, wanted to believe that the negative, horrible traits she was seeing in humanity (and men in particular) were caused by the influence of the God of War. That made things neat, tidy, and gave a particular, singular thing to blame and to destroy in order to save the world. However, she must come to terms with the fact that there is no simple way to put things back the way they once might have been. Hippolyta (I think) warns Diana that men are easily corrupted. No matter what the original, pure potential might have been, the fact is that war and evil have found their way into the hearts of humans. But the hope remains that, at their core, they may have well been created with a better and higher purpose. And that belief, that love should win, even when it doesn’t, is what becomes Diana’s banner in the end.

And while I was sort of meditating on this while trying to figure out the mysteries of HTML and CSS, something I hadn’t even thought about in a while came to mind. If you’re a long-time mutual, you know that in 2015, I got really into Fate/stay night: Unlimited Blade Works. It’s available on Netflix and good, part of a much larger, mind-bogglingly and stupidly complicated thing (universe?) called Type Moon, which consumed me in good ways and bad. In some ways, as a result of fandom experience and prejudice, I kind of quickly left behind the particular installment that hooked me into this network of stories in the first place.

I don’t want to spoil the Big Twists of UBW, in the off-chance a person who hasn’t seen it wants to watch it, since it is my good guess that of the three stories I am referencing in this post, Fate is the least likely most of my followers will have consumed. Because anime, and stuff. But I know some of you have or at least have a functional knowledge of what I’m talking about, so I am just talking about this because it really pricked a little scab, in a good way. In so many stupid, awful ways, 2016 was a trying year for me that made the things I loved feel like burdens, like chores, and like there was no real meaning but distraction behind them. I hate that, and this little moment I’m having has kind of revivified something I lost in the muck. It’s really strange, how good it can feel to just feel like you found a link to fuse past-you to present-you that feels good rather than like a weight of regret and embarrassment. And this is one of those things for me, realizing that 2015 me valued the same lesson that now-me is so enchanted with and trying to take to heart.

I won’t summarize Fate UBW because I’d be here for another thousand words. But I will suffice to say that its male protagonist, Emiya Shirou, is intended by the creator to be a critique of the typical shounen hero, common to anime anime at teenage boys. He experienced a great trauma as a child of which he was the sole survivor, rescued by one of the catalysts of that trauma and raised by him. Being raised by his father-figure-savior, he wants to become just like him because of the joy he saw on this man’s face when he saved him. Shirou, on the surface, seems pretty normal, but he basically was allowed to respond to his trauma by living vicariously, unchecked. He functions as a dutiful, typical exampleo f the above trope in pretty much all ways, prior to his involvement in The Plot as it pertains to him.

He carries a certain self-spun ideology with him into The Plot. If you need a pointer, i will cheekily describe it as The Hunger Games with Mythical Heroes and Witches and Wizards. (They’re called magi in this, so actual fans won’t kill me.) His ideology is that he wants to achieve a world that is fair and just enough that no one will ever need to cry. This brings about a whole heap of trouble of him, both seen and unseen, because he is actually presented as selfless to a fault. For those of you who do know what I am talking about, this is why Unlimited Blade Works feels like the most natural progression to me. In this story, rather than the other two canon-AUs (routes), he actually confronts this and deals with it rather than Option A) Embracing it Fully or Option C) Burn it All Down for My Equally-Needs-Help Girlfriend.

Anyway, in UBW, Shirou’s ultimate confrontation with his ideology is not necessarily what one would think. I don’t speak Japanese, so I cannot be completely sure of the purest import of the line, but when Shirou’s foil is arguing with him about what nonsense all of it is, one subbing ground translated it in a way that I really liked. (And if I’m remembering it correctly, it isn’t the official translation of the line.) He says, in response to the refutation of his ideology:

Just because you are correct doesn’t mean you’re right.

And I just love that, in terms of excessively hedonistic or utilitarian arguments against doing the right thing. Sometimes, even if a person can make a point about why it’s frankly stupid or inefficient to do the right thing, you just do it because it’s kind.

I found a subbed clip of the part I want to quote. If you even think you might watch, don’t watch past 2:00.

For this part to work, to explain what I remembered tonight that makes me feel like there might be some spark of continuity between what has moved me for the past several years, I have to transcribe a conversation. (Again, I’m copying subs, so like, people who understand Japanese forgive me.)

Archer: Hey, that’s Hell you’re walking into. Shirou: This is what you forgot. I admit that at first it was just admiration. But at the heart of it all was a wish. The wish for this hell to be undone. The unfulfilled wish of a man who only wanted to help others, but who lost everything in the end. Archer: Even if that life will be that of a machine? Shirou: Yeah. Even if that life is dripping with hypocrisy. I'll keep striving to be a champion of justice.

And I just love that my mind came back around to this at last. Even if that life is dripping with hypocrisy. That feels like something the Doctor might say. That feels like what Aries tried and failed to shake Diana with. And it just... means a lot to me, as a person, and I hope that I’ll keep learning why and what it means in practice.

By the way, the title of this post is my favorite little line in ‘Last Stardust,’ the song playing in above-linked clip.

#doctor who #wonder woman #fate stay ubw #fate stay series #emiya shirou #conventional blogging tag #archer #mine #mymeta #long post #like a super long post #like you should only read this under three circumstances #circumstance 1: you love me #circumstance 2: you love all three of these fandoms #circumstance 3: you love one or more of the fandoms and are curious about one of the others AND like me rambling about shit

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kaimuki · 7 years

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I’d like to share something I wrote in high school; this was about two months before graduation --I was eighteen years old. I found it a very pleasant read. I posted it on my first Tumblr that I deleted before starting college, and it was in a response to an anonymous request to write about anyone that I’ve met. I hope you enjoy.

Title: Without You, It’s a Waste of Time [A/N: Strawberry Swing by Coldplay.]

Epigraph: I can’t describe to you how surprised I was to find out I loved her. I even hoped for a while that she’d throw me over, but she didn’t, because she was in love with me too. [A/N: I loved The Great Gatsby. I still do.]

Through the darkness, I found myself lying in a bed next to L watching a marathon of really bad horror movies. I should have known it then, that he was changing my life by just spending time with me, but being around L wiped out every pretentious, presumptuous, and pensive ramblings in my mind, left every thought train wrecked resting in peace; I think that’s why it’s so hard for me to write about him now. [A/N: Back then I knew I was pretentious.]

There are two different types of meeting people. One, we physically meet them. We get introduced by mutual friends, family, or we happen to be in the same place and time. We meet people like this all the time, almost every day in fact. Everywhere we go we expect to meet people because, well, the world is full of them. We can’t avoid each other for too long. However, that is not the question.

Have I ever met anyone? truly, unexpectedly, surprisingly? Two, to discover a spirit within a human body, to stumble across the gem of a soul, this type of meeting someone is special. I’ve only done this a few times… and especially with L. [A/N: Drinking game! Take a shot every time I use tricolon! Two down!]

He never wore any fancy clothes, just stuff he thought was cool, stuff really subtle that worked well together; sweatshirts, t-shirts, and jeans, you already know. This made him approachable. He had normal hair, normal shoes, normal things. The idea of normal motivated L, called L to prove himself someone worth knowing. He was funny when he wanted to be; talented without a doubt, and in the looks department, he had something going for him. He had a killer smile when he did show it, a nice voice when he wasn’t quiet. [A/N: Four!]

L was the type of guy who gets under your skin without trying, without even intending to. There was something about him people noticed, something that polarized them to either being insanely intrigued by L or insanely irritated. He never realized this. He was always confused as to why people came and went so quickly. You see, he was easy to judge. People wanted to know what made him tick. They would get close, and after they figured it all out, they left. He was hard to see, hard to read, but easy to talk to and even easier to talk about.

The majority of the time I was around this guy I never really paid any attention to him until we were in close quarters: one, same place, same time. We were sitting next to each other on a bus. He didn’t say much besides the usual exchange in a first conversation, but he offered an ear bud so we could both listen to Kevin Hart’s A Grown Little Man, which I loved. Swinging. I was intrigued, and I didn’t even know it. We exchanged numbers casually, hung out casually, laughed, ate, talked together so casually. We would get into fun, get into trouble together a lot too. Everything with him was so natural. I found myself thinking about him a lot, more and more as I got to know him. Our bus got into a crash that. Everyone was okay. It just gave us more time to pass. [A/N: I actually think I intentionally did not complete that sentence. For reasons.]

Know it wasn’t the relationship. It was never about that. As much as what we were mattered to other people, the idea of “we” was nothing between us. In my mind, he was just L. In his mind, I was just me. I believe this because when it ended, we both didn’t want it to, whatever it was. It was all the little moments we shared, the unconscious breaths and airs we exchanged, the electric touches between our skin that slipped under our awareness, that made up the fibers that connected our heartstrings. It was all those things we would never pass up that stood for something greater than just a collection of memories, a scrapbook of interactions. I don’t know what you could define that as. [A/N: Some of it is cringey. I forgive myself for it though. You don't have to. Five, by the way.]

The Haunting In Connecticut had been over for more than an hour then. It must’ve been some time between 2 and 3am. Mary and Isaiah were asleep next to us, and Chris had knocked out before Texas Chainsaw Massacre even started. I was laying down with my head on L’s chest, feeling much more comfortable, safe, warm with him than with Isaiah, (shots fired,) and we just talked. It had probably been the sixth time we talked about our favorite colors, (mine blue and his olive green,) the second time we talked about bad things, and the first time we ever talked about living. L told me about all the things he wanted to do with his life: go to college, win sports competitions, travel across the universe. He talked about the things that made him sad like whenever his dad leaves, happy like when he gets to tease Nick and Mars, the things that scared him like people getting to know him too well. He talked about what he thought the world outside of this bubble was going to be like. There must be bubbles everywhere. He told me everything, and I listened. While he talked, his finger traced the lines of my hand. The other reached into the darkness of the room, reached through empty lightless space ad sidera, ad astra. He finished, stopped, and breathed for a little bit. I still listened. [A/N: Ten? Maybe my definition for tricolon is wrong. This seems like too much. L said that thing in italics, by the way.]

Inhale. Exhale, deeply and smoothly. Then he says something I would never forget:

This is it. What? This is what I want. I want this forever.

I didn’t ask because I already knew. It’s nice, you know? to have L to talk to; for L to have me to listen because I just want to get to know him, because I like his voice, for the sake of listening; I had L to laugh with, adventure with, to hold hands with and walk under his arm. I had L who didn’t care what I looked like when I ate barbecue or when I bummed around at home; just to have had L, to whom the most important thing is that I felt good, content, and happy, was something all on its own. [A/N: I'm not counting anymore. I refuse to.]

I’ll step back for a second to take a look at this story with you. It doesn’t sound special, does it? When hopes turn into dreams and dreams turn into visions when you close your eyes, you see this and know it inside and out. You know that when he leaves he kisses you on the forehead, tells you he’ll be back again for tea, that he’ll never forget you and that you’ll always be his girl. Because you see it in the movies, in all of those shows, you might be even blessed to have experienced it before, the amazing kiss from his perfect lips, so soft so gentle and everything you imagined it would be, you know exactly what that feels like. Maybe you won’t believe me when I say this was something different and every time it will be something different, but I don’t care if you believe me or not. This is the best way I can tell it.

L and I wanted each other, didn’t know we’d need each other; L and I had each other, even though we didn’t deserve each other. People are gifts, miracles sometimes. When you have someone you want, someone you didn’t know you’d need, when you’re blessed with the presence of someone you didn’t deserve, it feels like the world will give you a break sometimes. When it’s someone else’s choice, to choose you to make happy, to choose you and not Stella, Joleen, or Kaitlin, to not choose Jack or Isaiah, it’s a break. I can believe that now. [A/N: Aliases.]

When it was over, I began to believe in something else:

1. The real good things in life could never be planned or expected. 2. As much as it is about loving someone, it is about being loved.

It ended too soon, too early, but I’m okay with that. Here’s where I meet him: my heart and the spaces in between are painted with my imagination of everything that it was, everything that it could be, before any of it could have gotten spoiled. Who I am now and what I believe gives a part to L. I never got to thank him for that, but the memories should suffice. It’s about hope and faith in fate and love, in the world I guess. There is always a today, a tonight.

We all think of each other, you know.

[A/N: I used to think I had to fight for the real good things in life. I thought I had to fight for love, happiness, and peace. I did. I realized I could do that, easily, in fact, but the love, happiness, or peace that I fought for never meant so much or felt as good as the gifts I were graced with. Serendipity, is that the word I'm looking for?

I wrote this about a year after meeting L. I published it on April 1st, 2012 at 11:11P.M. because that was my sense of humor. I can't take all this seriously, because I knew nothing in life ever truly means anything, but it was also a wish. That life and its experiences were important. Real. Something. You know? Ah, forget about it.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Feel free to ask me questions about it.]

#personal #ludwig

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rueur · 7 years

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Morning Pages (08.01.2017)

Sunday 8th Jan - 7:50 a.m.

I have to admit that this was not the first thing I did this morning. In fact, I don’t know if I can really even call this my morning. I was out until 5:30 a.m. last night. Toni drove me home, and then I just collapsed into bed and tried to get as much sleep as possible before the sun rose. My alarm is set to ten o’clock. I’m meeting Lauren, the girl who moved from Brisbane, at 1 o’clock. Before that, I’ll need to feed the cats and clean out their trays, feed the fish, give Bruno his medicine, and make sure that I myself have eaten and showered and that I am okay. I’m really not okay, though. I’m a bit of a wreck, and last night I was a bit reckless.

So, I decided to go out because it was Saturday night and for most of this year I’ve been kicking myself for not making the most of the weekend and even moreso, the weekend train timetable. I decided to check out the Carlton Club because my friend Cameron goes there a lot and swears by it. Beforehand, however, when the day was a sweltering 37 degrees Celsius, I had been planning to go to the beach. But Bruno got sick in the morning, like vomiting all over the place and then lying on the cold bathroom tiles in what appeared to be a comatose state. I called Emily up and asked her what was going on with this poor, sick kitty, and she said that that happens in weather extremes, apparently. I don’t know if I said all this in yesterday’s morning pages. I don’t think so, he wasn’t throwing up at the time, if I remember correctly. Anyway, I didn’t go to the beach because I had to keep an eye on him and thankfully, he’s totally fine. Even after I left the house for like an epic 9 hour night (straight off the bat too!), he was fine.

I decided to go dancing because I wasn’t able to go to the beach, and also because around 4 o’clock yesterday, I tried to just read ‘A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again’. And I couldn’t focus on the book, I was thinking about Ikaros so much and I hated that I was thinking about him. Do you know what he did yesterday? He rode the Hurstbridge line up and down, taking panoramic shots of the station platforms. I think he needed to keep busy too. Anyway, I couldn’t focus on the book and I was just full of rage and confusion and started bawling my eyes out, sobbing in this room, in this apartment all by myself. I hated myself for it, I didn’t deserve this. His one problem with me was that I was loving him TOO much, I mean I was committed to him. And so easily, he just said that he didn’t want to be with me when prompted but for months, he’s just been putting lacklustre effort into a dead horse or something. I hated that phone call. It was so conclusive, so overtly conclusive that it was disgusting. I kissed a guy last night. He was alone and I was alone and he kind of tacked himself onto me. His name was Nick, and he didn’t look it but he was actually twenty-eight. He had wacky hair and wore a cap that said ‘Nick’ on the back ‘so he’ll always know his name upon drunkenly waking up’, he joked.

I’m a fucking sadist. I just took a long, long pause from writing to look at old posts with Ikaros and I. I woke up depressed, to be quite honest, and now I think I might cry again. I have to meet Lauren too, and she thinks I’m in a relationship. I really wanted to make it work with him. I really did. I could see a happy future with him.

Back to last night! I can’t dwell on this. Nick tacked onto me and I got to know him, which was fun. He was, however, not a good dancer nor a good kisser. Apparently it had been a couple of years (three or four) since he’d kissed a girl, currently recovering from a transient professional career. He worked in community and policy development overseas in Uganda and the Philippines. This was when I started to think that maybe he’s not as young as I thought. I asked him what training he needed for that job, and then he said he completed his Masters in Community Development. That’s when I knew he had to be at least six years or so older than me. So I asked him, and we found out about the eight-year age gap. I felt a bit bad for him because he seemed eager to be with me, like intimately, and for me it was more about just...dancing, and being free for a bit. I did tell him that I had just come out of a long-term relationship, two years I said. And he did ask questions about that, but everything I had told him about Ikaros didn’t stop Nick from saying he thought we had a connection when I said goodbye to him at Flinders Street at 3 in the morning. I told him point-blank that I was a little concerned about the age gap. We both said ‘we’ll see what happens’. I felt bad about that, because I honestly know now that nothing is going to happen. I don’t want to be with anyone, I just want to feel like I could still be with someone if I wanted that. I want to feel sexy, desirable, worth loving. Ikaros was fairly good at making me feel sexy, not so great with the other two.

I started and ended the night, however, with Toni at Crown. I arrived there at 8:30 and scoped her down at table 701 where she was dealing Blackjack. I watched this for a while, totally riveted. She was so fast with the draw! It was mesmerising. There was a creepy guy who followed me around for a bit at the start of the night, in the casino. He saw me at one point, standing and checking my phone back before I had found the table, then followed me to obscure parts of the casino before he and I both managed to settle down at table 701. He sat at the other side and just stared at me, sometimes pretended to be on a phone call and if he caught me staring/glaring at him, he’d feign ignorance with haste. I was livid. After about a half hour of sitting petrified, I got up and dashed around the casino in all directions. To shake him off. I was running for maybe two or three minutes before walking back to table 701, where he was nowhere to be found. I checked over my shoulder and scanned the room with purpose for a long time afterwards and he never turned up again. Quite thankful for that.

I’m quite thankful for Toni too. Talking to her last night was most definitely what I needed. Until Malith comes back maybe. Until Isaac comes back maybe. I’ve been thinking about sending Ben a message too but I don’t know if I should. It’s been about two years since we last saw each other. I met Ikaros immediately after things between he and I ended, but we hadn’t known each other long enough for me to really mourn whatever it was we shared. I also think that if I keep up what I had done tonight - going out, finding a guy and just feeling like I’m in a couple again -, I’m not going to fully experience myself in this late night setting. I want to see exactly how fun I can be, how many people I can meet, how many meaningful platonic connections I can make. After the Carlton Club, Nick and I went to this place called Boney, which had a dope DJ, honestly. The music was wild and original and consistently boss. Carlton Club’s DJ was quite sloppy. Boney did not disappoint. The crowd on a Saturday night was also somewhat more intimate and unique. Carlton Club was just packed with people, like they piled everybody in, and they were all the same, really: young, blonde people in big social groups. No diversity.

I’m finding it hard to finish these pages. I don’t really want to be writing this, to be honest. I feel like I should get more sleep. I’ve had about two hours of sleep and it’s 8:30 a.m. now and I think that if I get this over with and try to get back to sleep that maybe I’ll be a little more fresh-faced for my meet-up with Lauren. I feel like I’m going to have an awkward conversation, telling her that I just broke up with my boyfriend, the boyfriend that I was supposed to be super chill and open-minded with.

I just paused to check Facebook again. I feel so alone right now. I miss him. But he wasn’t good for me, and the sooner I realise that, the sooner I’ll get to be happy and learn to love myself, give all the attention and care and dedication that I was giving him and give it to myself. He said that I use him as a crutch sometimes, to deal with my problems. I think he was right. He also said that he used me sometimes too. And I realised that he wasn’t being critical, he was just describing what a relationship was. People (lovers, friends, family) have to use each other, they have to ask for care and give care, it’s a system of mutual love and respect. I felt like I had given so much of myself to Ikaros over this past year. I took him out when he was unemployed for months. I came and visited him when he couldn’t afford even train fare. I brought him food from my restaurant, I read to him, and I was just there for him when he needed somebody. I encouraged him in his artwork and let him take the time he needed to be himself. I cried occasionally after Skype calls ended, or when he or I had to leave. Just because it broke my heart whenever he could leave so efficiently. Fuck, I just kind of was very prone to feeling like he could just have enough of me a lot quicker than I could have enough of him. It really hurt me on Friday night when he said that he didn’t want to be with me anymore, and when he said that he didn’t really want to work on this relationship anymore. Sorry, that he ‘wasn’t sure’ if he wanted to be in this anymore was his exact words. But what’s the point, you know? I love fiercely and I love for life. I can’t make someone love me that way if it’s just not in them, if it’s just not them. I deserve somebody who didn’t wait a month before he said ‘I love you’ back. I deserve somebody who’s sure about me. Ikaros was never sure about me. And I knew that, months ago. I just ignored it and let the pain of that secret knowledge destroy me over time. I was cowardly. I didn’t want to say goodbye to him but I’ve known I was going to have to for months now.

#spilled ink #morning pages #stream of consciousness #break up #dancing #nightlife #fuckidk #4 #08.01.2017

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makingscipub · 4 years

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Bubbles: A short history

Last week we heard a lot about bubbles, especially school bubbles and travel bubbles. This metaphor has been bubbling up for a while during the pandemic and I became curious about how and where it emerged.

Then I saw a tweet from Gareth Enticott which contained an article about New Zealand researchers who had come up with the concept of ‘bubble’. It was then taken up enthusiastically by Jacinda Ardern, the Prime Minister, and subsequently became a model for other countries. In this blog post I want to tell the story of how the bubbles spread. But, of course, this is only scratching the very surface…

A life-affirming idea

The article indicated by Gareth appeared in the Otago Bulletin Board – a news website maintained by the University of Otago. It says that “Dr Tristram Ingham, a Senior Research Fellow in the Department of Medicine at the University of Otago, Wellington, developed the concept [of bubble] while advising the Ministry of Health on the COVID-19 response for the disability sector”.

What he and his co-workers wanted to do was to capture “the imagination of both the Prime Minister and the nation, and help[ed] frame life under Alert Levels 4 and 3 more positively”. This was the time when social/physical distancing became a new mode of life around the world, but as Ingham said: “We didn’t want at risk communities to be passive recipients of their fate. The methods had to be around empowering individuals and whānau [an extended family or community of related families who live together in the same area] to have control over their own life and situations for self-preservation.”

This empowering and life-affirmative aspect of ‘bubbles’ is something I hadn’t really appreciated until reading this article.

The familiarity of bubbles

But why bubbles? As Ingham pointed out: “Bubbles are a universally known concept, which could be made appealing to children or to people that didn’t have a public health background. They could think of a bubble as a fragile yet beautiful structure that has to be nurtured and preserved. And it introduced the concept of making sure you don’t burst your bubble.”

As we say in metaphor circles, bubbles are a rich and familiar ‘source’ domain that can be easily mapped onto an abstract ‘target’ domain, such as pandemic risk management, and lead to new ways of thinking, talking and acting.

As Peter Adams pointed out in an article for the University of Auckland: “We are very familiar with the behaviour of bubbles: they froth on the ocean, they slide down the dishes, and they glide by on those summer afternoons when children form them with detergent and plastic hoops. The use of bubbles here conjures up an image of me and my loved ones floating around inside a transparent membrane that separates my group out from others and protects us from unwanted intrusion.”

Viral bubbles

The concept went viral and spread around the world. I wanted to follow this spread a bit and therefore looked at the news database Nexis to see how it went. This was not easy, as ‘bubble’, even with ‘AND covid’ ‘OR coronavirus’ brought tens of thousands of hits. So I narrowed the search to ‘bubble AND social group AND covid OR coronavirus’ and that, finally, gave me 82 hits that I could look at in diachronic order. I also looked for ‘Jacinda Ardern AND bubble’ just to see when New Zealand first talked about this. And supplemented it all with some incidental finds on the internet….not the neatest search I have ever done!

Creativity and flexibility

Bubbles as metaphors have been around for a long time and have been used in various contexts, from rumours bubbling up, to the south sea bubble, to social media bubbles which, we are all told, are not good for us. However, in the context of the pandemic, bubbles became more ‘real’ in a sense. Bubbles came to stand for what some call ‘micro-communities’ (Indian Express June 5, 2020).

Here is one visual representation I found, probably originating in China, but I can’t find the artist and here are many more.

The word bubbles attracted lots of other words and so we got : social bubbles, quarantine bubbles, home-bubbles, iso-bubbles (Sydney Morning Herald, 2 June), travel bubbles, bubbles mates, support bubbles, school bubbles, year-group bubbles, class bubbles – even quaranteam as a synonym for bubble, invented in March by a British couple quarantining in South Korea (Mirror, 7 March). In the United States, a synonym of bubbles was ‘pods’, it seems, although it seems that the concept, although spreading informally, was never part of a formal policy, as it was in other countries more keen on social distancing and isolation.

It should also be stressed that bubbles do not only encourage linguistic creativity, they are also flexible and adaptive enough to allow for changing uses over time. As an article in Slate pointed out on 6 May: “What makes the bubble idea an effective communication tool is not just its simplicity but also its ability to morph along with changing regulations. As New Zealand now moves into a lighter stage of restrictions, the concept of the bubble is adjusting with it. Under the more relaxed alert Level 3, New Zealand authorities are allowing bubbles to slowly open.”

Let’s start at the beginning.

March

The end of March, when New Zealand went into strict lockdown, seems to have been the time when bubbles first became a thing in New Zealand. As Peter Adams described in his article from which I already quoted above: “On March 23, when declaring the lockdown, Ardern said, ‘We have a window of opportunity to break the chain of community transmission.’ Her reference to ‘windows’ and ‘chains’ make use of common metaphors, perhaps too common to register specifically in our minds. However, in her next daily briefing she floated another more specific metaphor. We heard her encourage us to, ‘stick to your bubble,’ and ‘you can’t spend time with other people outside of your bubble’. […] By whatever process Ardern and her team came up with the bubble metaphor, during the course of the next two months it has proved a very effective way of communicating some key understandings.”

We now know by what process they came up with the concept! Let’s now look more closely at how it spread through time and space.

It seems that ‘bubbles’ first appeared in the news in an article on 24 March in The New Zealand Herald quoting Jacinda Ardern. At the same time, in a complementary article, one of New Zealand’s foremost pandemic communicators, Dr Siouxsie Wiles, answered questions (she also produced the imaged featured above, which is part of a famous gif).

The article said: “She reiterated Jacinda Ardern’s words of seeing our household ‘as our bubble’ and stay within that bubble. Wiles says there are exceptions to the ‘one household, one bubble’ guideline, such as parents with shared custody of children. Those two households can be considered one bubble.… You can help people out but ‘do not enter their bubble’. The exception is for people who live alone, who can have a ‘buddy system’ set up with someone else who lives alone. They can enter each other’s ‘bubbles’.”

Like ‘lockdown’, ‘bubbles’ are rooted in the conceptual metaphor of a ‘container’. A container metaphor is an ontological metaphor in which some concept is represented as having an inside and an outside, and as capable of holding something else. But bubbles and lockdown are quite different, of course. Lockdown conjured up images of prison, entrapment and house arrest, of crime and punishment, while bubbles conjure up images of (fragile) protection, responsibility and mutual support. Both play an important role in the ‘containment’ of a pandemic disease.

April

On 5 April, when Boris Johnson was admitted to hospital with Covid-19, bubbles were talked about in The Guardian here in the UK: “Before the lockdown, Ms Ardern asked Kiwis to ‘apply common sense’ and shrink down their social group to ‘a small group of individuals who are part of your bubble… the bubble you must maintain’ for the month.” That article was reproduced in many newspapers which also reported on a New Zealand ‘bonk ban’….

On 15 April, the MailOnline used the concept when listing 275 ways of slowing the spread of the virus devised by a team at the University of Cambridge: “’Focus on constraining ‘long connections between people in different social groups who seldom or rarely interact (e.g. people with a shared hobby or interest rather than short connections between people in similar social groups who regularly interact with one another (e.g. close family, colleagues, close friends),’ the report authors write. They go on to suggest governments might ‘Ask people to identify their bubble – being everyone they live with or must have contact with during ‘lockdown’- and ask people to stay as much as possible within their bubble, ‘a piece of advice they apparently borrowed from New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Arden. ‘Making this happen will be up to the people responsible for every element of society,’ said Professor Sutherland.”

From end of April bubbles appeared in newspaper headlines, and puns emerged around ‘burst bubbles’ etc. The concept was becoming mainstream in the UK, Canada, the US, Belgium etc. but with varying degrees of formal or policy endorsement. The small sample of articles I looked at did not contain any press coverage from the United States.

May

In early May, when bubbles became more and more popular, various disadvantages of bubbles were discussed, for example, interestingly, on Fox News (3 May): “MCDOWELL: …The Belgian government is toying with an idea that can help limit the pandemic. It would allow people to form social bubbles of 10 people maximum, no overlapping with other groups. … GUTFELD: This is a bad idea because it’ll cause social signaling. Like oh, hey, guys, I can’t see you tonight. I’m in Bret Baier’s bubble. […] You know, everybody’s going to be humble bragging about what bubble they’re in. And then how do families divvy up a bubble if you got like three kids. It’s going to be a new kind of disaster, domestic strife.”

There were some social dilemmas around bubbles, as discussed in the New York Times, but I don’t think it was as bad as that.

June

On 5 June The Telegraph (again, one should add, interestingly!) even wrote about how to decline a bubble invitation: “Those who dreamt up the idea of social bubbles clearly had no consideration for the chaos that would ensue. ‘If you decline to be in someone’s social bubble, you run the risk of not being included in anyone’s social group,’ says Harrold. ‘If an offer comes along, and it’s people you feel comfortable with, you’ve got to accept it.’ He advises that it can be helpful to think of the social bubble as an official contract; sign up, try it out, and leave if it’s not working for you.”

June was the month when bubbles became mainstream. And empirical studies of bubbles were undertaken at the University of Oxford, the London School of Economics and at London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine.

On Wednesday 10 June, Boris Johnson made an announcement that adults who lived alone would be allowed to form a “support bubble” with another household. However, it seems this was not a straightforward ‘we follow the science’ decision. As reported in The Guardian, scientists were ambivalent, it seems: “Other Sage documents point to the extreme concern scientists had about the introduction of social bubbles whereby households could meet up to form small social groups. In mid-May, the experts urged ‘strong caution’ over bringing in bubbles when other distancing measures had only just been lifted.”

There is thus a difference between New Zealand and the UK. In the former, bubbles were part of the lockdown policy right from the start, in the latter they were part of a gradual easing of lockdown policy. This was the case in most countries, such as Belgium and also Canada where people began to talk about ‘double bubbles’ in June. Even in Germany there was talk of ‘Blasen’ or ‘die Bubble’.

July

On 4 July, some people ‘celebrated’ ‘Independence Day’, when social distancing rules were substantially relaxed in England. People could go to pubs and restaurants, and bubbles became a literal reality, as in this picture of dining pods (and here is a different one featured by CNN; and and older version of a bubble tent in care homes in Germany)!

At the moment the following rules apply when going out for a drink, as reported by The Sun on 4 July: “Punters who meet indoors can only meet in groups of up to two households or support bubbles. Outdoor meet ups should only take place in groups of up to 2 households (or support bubbles), or a group of 6 people from any number of households.”

Bubbles, bubbles…

Since Jacinda Ardern first told New Zealanders to form their own bubbles, the bubble has gone the way of all good viral concepts. As Dr Ingham, it’s inventor, said: “We lost control of the narrative. What I think is quite interesting and ironic is that it seems to be being picked up internationally and a whole bunch of other academics are starting writing about what it means, and the symbology of it. In some cases, they are reading more into it than I even thought at the time.” So we now got meta-bubbles and this post is one of them, I am afraid to say.

Image: Wikimedia Commons, part of a gif by Siouxsie Wiles and Toby Morris

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