#i'll never be good enough

[jzeus1]

Wtf is wrong with me?! Why am I never good enough??? I hate me so fucking much

#no matter how hard i try #I'll never be good enough #😭 #i cant even keep a friend

[cowboyskissin]

big i'll never be good enough to be wanted or deserving of love day today folks

#i try so fucking hard why do i keep trying #i'll never be good enough

[sovaghoul]

.

#i'm sorry i suck #i'm sorry i'm like this #why do you love me? #how can you love me? #i'm trash #i'm worthless #you deserve better #one day you'll realize how much better you could do #role reversal bc suddenly i'm dew #everyone i've ever loved has hurt me i'm destined for this #i'm too damaged and too broken t this point to be any good to anyone anyway #you deserve to be happy #and someday you'll know i can't give that to you #i'm useless #“my hands are not worthy” #nothing about me is #i'll never be good enough #especially not for you #“it's me i'm a freak”

[yungcrybby-anonymousbosch666]

i wish i could strip. you guys don't understand, i've always wanted to be a stripper. the shoes, the money. ugh.

#i'll never be good enough

[fiddler-sticks]

-

#i wish someone would just tell me where my life is going #because right now i don't see there being any use for it #sure i've got dreams but it's not like they're ever gonna come true #i'll never be good enough #at this point it looks like i'll never graduate highschool cuz i'm too stupid and can't learn #and i'll much less move out and get a job that'll pay for me to survive #what's the point of it all if i'm not gonna go anywhere in life or do anything useful?

[roachzrivia]

-

#I'll never be good enough #not for more than a bit of fun #mordi speaks

[mysteriousscribbles]

.

#i'm gonna die alone #and i hate it #i'll never be good enough #personal

[calmparticles]

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#hi!!! not dead!!! i've just had the most creative block ever DKFBNDF/ #here's some poppup whale/dolphin variations for anon! thank u sm vacc anon for the req and kind words - hope u doing good!!/ #all of u asks have been so sweet. bless u! <3/ #poppup #deltarune #myart #and a teeny tiny ambyu. 2 small for the tag. teeny/ #i'm very rusty at art-ing rn - if anyone has any reqs i would love to draw some! i still got lot's 2 go thru too tho <3/ #also i finally went back n edited all my image ids into the images themselves - i'll still reblog ids over @ calmparticles-id/ #cause 4000 characters will never b enough 4 me DKFJBDF i cannot write short ids 2 save my life or u eyes/ #anyways that's enough tags for now!/

[unproduciblesmackdown]

always enjoyed the Chess Set In The Foreground perspective framing used here

now also noting like, huh, a chess set in a general store just visited by marigold competitors who killed one of their guys and are now on the way back from their rendezvous point w/suppliers

#and now to take a big sip of ''nothing suggests lackadaisy ft. people stuck / things repeating / death begetting death'' #not like i suppose we're going to be hit with ''& then mordecai and viktor sat down at the defiance field office for every passing gangster #played chess and then went and properly slaughtered the lackadaisy crew and arbogasts at the funeral home / barn w/car-sized holes'' #good reminder though that Viktor Is Now Active....left off with elsa managing to give him a phonecall; for good measure #lackadaisy #i have no lengthy Mitzi Mordecai Murder Mystery Musings posts for today (b/c not enough fresh musing insights) but no prommies #epiphanies are on their own schedule #quite the chess piece arrangement seen there too lol. can't tell if there's any Classic Configuration in the game b/w viktor & mordecai #not a chesshead and never was lol strategy games??? who's that #or i'll play them but not strategically. invented Flick Chess for indoor recess in elementary school #you flick a piece across the board and whatever you knock off the board = you took those pieces lmfao #though not like that has Zero strategy. thinking of my day enjoying tiddlywinks research #imagine my delight revisiting all this material like oh yeah the little pic of freckle tiddlywinking #let's squop; boys #i'm also supposing that chess sets? checkers sets? and etc. would be common general store features; like phone usage....real general.... #but like; what; are we expecting this Not to bring a response from marigold lol #got the nervous twitch but they're like ''ah it's fine. cost of doing business''

[gothpersy]

Me *slapping together several different art styles*: HARDCORE

#i should have just used the stock photo i used as ref for the disco ball but i have standards so it's drawn #is it messy? yeah #but also nobody's paying me xd #disco elysium #disco elysium fanart #disco elysium poster #i do admit i looked in the direction of alexander rostov's art when drawing the pale/clouds so it's a very similar color palette #not identical though i have different brushes and shit #also I'm obviously not even nearly as good like could you imagine i will never paint like him #not a self drag just facts i am all about low opacity softish stuff #so yeah #i still like it enough to post #next poster will be l.s. dunes again and I'll try traditional art techniques bc i have a whole drawer full of art supplies i do not use

[cicaklah]

thinking about finnpoe/stormpilot again and I am not someone who believes things should be canon!!!! the problem was ALWAYS the abandonment of the characters in general, not that they never got together!!!! trust me, my friends and I can take care of that part. we have so much experience in smashing blorbodes together at the speed of light and generating fusion. the problem is that they looked at those characters who they spent a whole RECORD BREAKINGLY EYE WATERINGLY PROFITABLE MOVIE building up and went...nah, lets focus on the literal space nazi instead.

#swtfa #star wars #i'll never ever ever ever get over it #we could have had it all #it all: a good space opera #with enough space for shipping

[theaceace]

imagining a world in which Simon agreed to go with Edwin and try to escape hell, imagining Simon developing an immediate and very inadvisable crush on the cute guy that just threw a grenade at a demon and Edwin's reaction to that, imagining the reaction of Charles Overprotective Rowland when he finds out that the guy Edwin insists on dragging along with them is one of the guys that sacrificed him to a demon in the first place, imagining the Night Nurse's face when three dead boys pop back through the door instead of two

#dead boy detectives #charles rowland #edwin payne #This is very much not what I would have wanted to see in the show because that episode was perfect to me #But I do think it would have been funny #And hey if you wanted to go the angst route and follow sandman comic lore of 'people stay in hell because they believe they should be there #Then you could have Edwin who has come to terms with who he is and Simon who is starting to forgive himself thanks to Edwin #Getting out of Hell just fine while they're being chased #And Charles 'im scared I'll end up like my dad' Rowland. Charles 'i could never be good enough' Rowland. Charles 'rage issues' Rowland #Who doesn't think he deserves to get out. Even if the thought is deep down and buried #Edwin's reaction to that would be. Woof. Yikes. Delicious #Don't get me wrong Charles would absolutely not stay in hell because I love him too much for that #And so does Death and you absolutely cannot change my mind about that there's no way she doesn't know about the boys #So yeah he'd get out fairly quickly #But just. The potential. The pain. Chef's kiss

[ncutii-gatwa]

TAYLOR SWIFT 1989 (Taylor's Version) ph. Beth Garrabrant

#taylor swift #ts #tsedit #tswiftedit #1989 tv #femaledaily #flawlessbeautyqueens #nessa007 #usersophie #tuserella #edited by me #mine #had to re-edit cause i felt the other ones weren't good enough #not sure about these ones either but i know i'll never be happy no matter what #and they'll flop anyway so whatever

[cerise-on-top]

hi<3 if you can, can you do valeria and laswell with a gothic s/o? like someone who likes darker/morbid things and things like that! love your blog by the way! it’s definitely my favorite blog to come look at after a long ass day <333

Hey there! Sorry, but I couldn't really find too much on what counts as dark and morbid in the goth scene, so I wrote more general HCs, I hope that's alright still ^^;

Valeria and Laswell with a Gothic!S/O

Valeria: She’d most definitely be intrigued, but not too much. In all honesty, she doesn’t know too much about the subculture, she’s never really met a goth who was clearly one. However, if it makes you happy, that’s all that matters to her. While she won’t really know too many bands, or any at all, she’d be more than happy to listen to a few if you want her to. Yes, she won’t always have the time, but when she isn’t too busy she could put on some songs by Joy Division or The Cure, she really doesn’t mind. She can vibe to that sort of music, even if it isn’t her favorite. You’re more than welcome to discuss the literature with her, though. She’s probably never read a single gothic literature book, but she can buy you some. Anything from poetry to a regular novel, it’s quite alright. While she won’t be the best person to go to when it comes to discussing those, she’ll support you either way. However, something she could definitely enjoy would be going clothes shopping with you. The fashion is kind of nice, she has to admit, so she’d be more than happy to buy you whatever garments you desire. Will go out of her way to find something you might like as well. I can’t see her being too much into the history of goth culture, though. It’s nice that you are a goth, if you want to tell her about it, then you can and she’ll listen to you, but she likely doesn’t have the time to research everything by herself. Tell her about its roots and she can definitely appreciate you going against what’s mainstream and how it all came to be. She’s a very defiant and rebellious woman herself, so she definitely gets it.

Laswell: She knows so many people, I wouldn’t be surprised if she has worked with goths before. And even if she hasn’t directly, she’s likely seen quite a few walking around the city. She usually grows worried for them in summer since their attire is black, which makes it quite hot. However, she’d be very intrigued by you and your subculture. It’s something very near and dear to you, so she would put in the effort to learn about your history. Will give some classic bands a listen as well. She just really wants to have something to talk about with you. Besides, she gets to learn more about you. While she may not be the biggest fan of your interest in death, considering she’s surrounded by it more often than not, she’d be more than happy to indulge anything else it has to offer. Laswell spent a good chunk of life left alone with her thoughts, so she definitely knows a thing or two about melancholy, the state of the world and introspection. Maybe not in the same way you do, but she can definitely keep up in a conversation. She’s likely also unintentionally read some of the more popular gothic novels out there and liked them, so she’d make for a good discussion partner as well. While she doesn’t particularly understand the need to make your face completely white, she doesn’t mind. In fact, she thinks it looks quite cool, even if it’s not for her. However, the fashion in and of itself looks really good to her. Again, she wouldn’t want to wear it, but something about Victorian and Edwardian fashion has a certain something to it that she can’t quite place. Like Valeria, she’ll definitely buy you things she thinks you might like. Anything from a suit or a corset to a book about poetry. Beware, though, she will read the books before you can.

#cod #cod x reader #valeria garza #valeria garza x reader #kate laswell #kate laswell x reader #I am so incredibly tired so I'm sorry if this is bad #the day I'm writing this is Monday and I worked for nine hours today which wasn't very fun #I'll be working for nine hours tomorrow again and I'm not looking forward to that but I need that overtime #I've never met a goth before so I don't even know anyone I could ask about it #I know an emo or two but that's not the same #still I gave the music a listen and I gotta say it sounds pretty good #I can see Valeria indulging you in your morbid things though. if you collect animal bones she can definitely acquire some #whether it be through roadkill or ethically killed animals #Laswell wouldn't be too big of a fan of having bones at home but she won't stop you either #she'll just tell you to keep them somewhere she won't necessarily have to see them all the time #she's not squeamish but she prefers to not think about death too much outside of work. she gets enough of it on the daily #Laswell would be more media literate than Valeria though. she's definitely analyzed some poems for fun when she was younger #Valeria doesn't have the time to read too much into something. or read a book at all. a poem maybe but that's it she won't read into it

[bonefall]

So, your Clear Sky post is absolutely horrifying, but it was very needed, so thank you. What are your general thoughts on tackling his abuse for the AU? Like you've said, pretending he's a good guy is not the way to go, but are you planning on toning down *some* of the situations, just to give some of the cats a break? Clear Sky is a very realistic depiction of abusers, but that seems to come across even without victim number 25, yknow? I'm very curious about how you'd like to go about this.

My most recent big change was bringing Slash back into the fold, because I realized that it was actually a disservice to not address where DOTC's themes dip into Colonialism. It's a hard topic, and I'm still trying to work out the details, but I realized it was important.

With how BB!DOTC is such a MASSIVE overhaul, to properly address abuse and the ways it impacts you, ableism and its violence, and xenophobia broadly, a huge reworking of Slash belonged here too. He's one of the greatest examples of how badly WC demonizes non-Clanborn cats. I shouldn't dance around it.

That's what I need to do with Skystar.

MANY of his victims have happier endings than canon, though. Bumble is one of the most famous, bumped up into a major character and directly responsible for the formation of ThunderClan. Bright Storm is taking most of Gray Wing's roles. Birch and Alder are getting examined, with either a father who wants his kids back or Milkweed as the mate of Misty.

A lot of people will die because of him, even more will be hurt, but I see BB!DOTC as a story about victims and survivors.

Others might grab POVs here and there, but as a response to canon which I feel is Clear Sky's story told in many parts, I center this rewrite around Thunder Storm. The path of kindness he marches down, with love and with anger, and the people he helps.

So BB!Star Flower...

Previously I was playing her as ENTIRELY just manipulating Clear Sky. She was loyal to One Eye and trying to get at Skystar to bleed him dry for 8 lives to sacrifice; but connected to Thunderstar over recognizing him as a victim who deserves her idea of justice. So, she offers Thunderstar the final kill, so her father will be grateful to him and he'll get power AND the death of his abuser.

(When Thunderstar looks upon Skystar, pathetic and neutralized down to one life, he thinks about the collateral damage that will descend upon the forest if he accepts the deal. He decides that he has found the line between Justice and Justification. Of course he wants the power to make his enemies cower, protect his people, and eliminate Clear Sky so he never threatens them again; that's not the problem.

He can still do these things. He wouldn't NEED the power of a war god to do so.

But if One Eye returns, he will be endlessly hungry, ruthlessly dedicated to revenge, and set out to devour the whole forest. Everything would get worse, and even more people he loves would die. It's where his desire to destroy a monster would lead to him BECOMING one.)

Even on its face, it was previously missing an element. There's a step between "Starf decides to bring One Eye back" and "Starf offers Thunderstar the final kill" that was bare. This is the piece that was missing-- That she, herself, is trying to reach out to the only person who's ever really understood her.

But more importantly... I do feel this topic belongs here, in BB!DOTC. Abuse is a MAJOR theme. SKYSTAR is a monster already. He's harmed two wives in BB (Bright Storm and Falling Cry) and played toxic games with all three kits (Thunder Storm, Pale Sky, Tiger Sky).

And I'd avoid Star Flower being abused... why? Because it's uncomfortable to confront the pattern that Clear Sky displays? That in-canon, he tries to cut all his victims into the same ideal shape, from Storm to Thunder to Star Flower? ...it should be uncomfortable. Everything that I described in Clear Sky Is A Monster is rooted in the same desire for control, power, and punishment most abusive people share, he just happens to be a severe example.

Yes. That includes how he treats his child and romantic partners. The parallels that are drawn between Starf and Thunder are there because he wants power in the form of obedience. Starf replaces the son as a narrative award for his "growth" of not killing random people anymore for a while.

A cookie cutter is an effective tool because IT ONLY MAKES ONE SHAPE.

You know what's more uncomfortable? Reading canon!DOTC and seeing someone who hurt you reflected almost perfectly in the character the writers think did nothing wrong. Because of "good intentions" that were not there.

I will say though, just to be clear; I don't see a purpose in being more than PG-13 about serious topics for this project. I promise none of my intentions have changed. Nothing will be more graphic or gorey than canon WC-- just more intentional.

I'm keeping the sacrifice because it's dope. No one is taking this from me. Girl Moment: Killed her awful husband 8 times to count as 8 sacrifices and offered the last life to her buddy as a show of good will. How else do you make friends outside of high school

But I know now that Star Flower NEEDS to keep the canon fact she has very little agency, UNTIL that moment she snaps.

She's sacrificing one abuser to try and bring back a bigger, badder one, because in spite of everything, her father One Eye always made her feel safe. Even though he promised her off to Skystar, and expected her to be willing to die for him. She's followed every command, every order, past the death of his mortal vessel.

The first, and only, selfish choice she's ever made was in reaching out to Thunderstar to offer him the power of her father.

Thunderstar's Justice is a story about a Thunder Storm at the pinnacle of his arc, how the survivors of his Clan are settling into the new normal after the carnage of The First Battle, how Skystar's arrogance brings a violent god to the Forest... and the connection Thunderstar makes with the daughter of a monster.

#Kronk meme: ''Oh Yeah. It's all coming together'' #I'll be making the fragments in another post #Just because this one's getting really long #It works well as an explanation of my intentions #I think I had been making a mistake previously to conceive of BB!Starf as a femme fatale who seduced Sky #Again: I'm not perfect! As I analyze and re-read with a more critical eye. My art changes. #Tho I will admit I do like the idea of a Starf who is totally cognizant of how she can manipulate a villain #Into doing what she wants. I do love myself a powerful and scheming woman #It's that it didn't fit my story or my themes OR even the purpose of BB as a fixit that addresses canon #Better bones au #BB!DOTC #BB!Star Flower #BB!Skystar #BB!Thunder Storm #Also imo this philosophy will let me make BB!One Eye what I think he deserves and works best as #THE WORSE OF TWO EVILS #The Tyrant of Tyrants #And man.... the idea that Skystar becomes the Clan patron of war... #The God of Summer laughs at him. #''Outdone and reeling your wounded pride speaks the words your tender mouth can never say'' #''That you were outclassed and now you obsess over the bigger monster you aren't good enough to become'' #''You fell into the step of a lion and think you can replicate what my paw does without effort.'' #Cw abuse #Tw abuse #Abuse #Child abuse

[sundaytragedy]

I could totally do surgery on myself and even give myself anesthesia and then stitch myself up i could totally do that. I think I can figure out how to put it back

#is this just poetic or srs.....we'll never know #just know that i am high af rn #i dont have steady enough hands or good enough vision to ever be a surgeon i dont think. not in that sterile room. lol #sigh guess i'll pursue psychiatry #gonna fuck myself up irreversibly someday wdyt #trust meee #essentially surgeons ask that we trust them like thanks for not leaving any tools behind in my body i appreciate it man #that one nurse who did my 55+ stitches we had a moment #i was like no lidocaine pls i don't want my arms to be numb for the next day and a half i will kms more #so he didnt #that was so respectful of him