#Into doing what she wants. I do love myself a powerful and scheming woman

[bonefall]

So, your Clear Sky post is absolutely horrifying, but it was very needed, so thank you. What are your general thoughts on tackling his abuse for the AU? Like you've said, pretending he's a good guy is not the way to go, but are you planning on toning down *some* of the situations, just to give some of the cats a break? Clear Sky is a very realistic depiction of abusers, but that seems to come across even without victim number 25, yknow? I'm very curious about how you'd like to go about this.

My most recent big change was bringing Slash back into the fold, because I realized that it was actually a disservice to not address where DOTC's themes dip into Colonialism. It's a hard topic, and I'm still trying to work out the details, but I realized it was important.

With how BB!DOTC is such a MASSIVE overhaul, to properly address abuse and the ways it impacts you, ableism and its violence, and xenophobia broadly, a huge reworking of Slash belonged here too. He's one of the greatest examples of how badly WC demonizes non-Clanborn cats. I shouldn't dance around it.

That's what I need to do with Skystar.

MANY of his victims have happier endings than canon, though. Bumble is one of the most famous, bumped up into a major character and directly responsible for the formation of ThunderClan. Bright Storm is taking most of Gray Wing's roles. Birch and Alder are getting examined, with either a father who wants his kids back or Milkweed as the mate of Misty.

A lot of people will die because of him, even more will be hurt, but I see BB!DOTC as a story about victims and survivors.

Others might grab POVs here and there, but as a response to canon which I feel is Clear Sky's story told in many parts, I center this rewrite around Thunder Storm. The path of kindness he marches down, with love and with anger, and the people he helps.

So BB!Star Flower...

Previously I was playing her as ENTIRELY just manipulating Clear Sky. She was loyal to One Eye and trying to get at Skystar to bleed him dry for 8 lives to sacrifice; but connected to Thunderstar over recognizing him as a victim who deserves her idea of justice. So, she offers Thunderstar the final kill, so her father will be grateful to him and he'll get power AND the death of his abuser.

(When Thunderstar looks upon Skystar, pathetic and neutralized down to one life, he thinks about the collateral damage that will descend upon the forest if he accepts the deal. He decides that he has found the line between Justice and Justification. Of course he wants the power to make his enemies cower, protect his people, and eliminate Clear Sky so he never threatens them again; that's not the problem.

He can still do these things. He wouldn't NEED the power of a war god to do so.

But if One Eye returns, he will be endlessly hungry, ruthlessly dedicated to revenge, and set out to devour the whole forest. Everything would get worse, and even more people he loves would die. It's where his desire to destroy a monster would lead to him BECOMING one.)

Even on its face, it was previously missing an element. There's a step between "Starf decides to bring One Eye back" and "Starf offers Thunderstar the final kill" that was bare. This is the piece that was missing-- That she, herself, is trying to reach out to the only person who's ever really understood her.

But more importantly... I do feel this topic belongs here, in BB!DOTC. Abuse is a MAJOR theme. SKYSTAR is a monster already. He's harmed two wives in BB (Bright Storm and Falling Cry) and played toxic games with all three kits (Thunder Storm, Pale Sky, Tiger Sky).

And I'd avoid Star Flower being abused... why? Because it's uncomfortable to confront the pattern that Clear Sky displays? That in-canon, he tries to cut all his victims into the same ideal shape, from Storm to Thunder to Star Flower? ...it should be uncomfortable. Everything that I described in Clear Sky Is A Monster is rooted in the same desire for control, power, and punishment most abusive people share, he just happens to be a severe example.

Yes. That includes how he treats his child and romantic partners. The parallels that are drawn between Starf and Thunder are there because he wants power in the form of obedience. Starf replaces the son as a narrative award for his "growth" of not killing random people anymore for a while.

A cookie cutter is an effective tool because IT ONLY MAKES ONE SHAPE.

You know what's more uncomfortable? Reading canon!DOTC and seeing someone who hurt you reflected almost perfectly in the character the writers think did nothing wrong. Because of "good intentions" that were not there.

I will say though, just to be clear; I don't see a purpose in being more than PG-13 about serious topics for this project. I promise none of my intentions have changed. Nothing will be more graphic or gorey than canon WC-- just more intentional.

I'm keeping the sacrifice because it's dope. No one is taking this from me. Girl Moment: Killed her awful husband 8 times to count as 8 sacrifices and offered the last life to her buddy as a show of good will. How else do you make friends outside of high school

But I know now that Star Flower NEEDS to keep the canon fact she has very little agency, UNTIL that moment she snaps.

She's sacrificing one abuser to try and bring back a bigger, badder one, because in spite of everything, her father One Eye always made her feel safe. Even though he promised her off to Skystar, and expected her to be willing to die for him. She's followed every command, every order, past the death of his mortal vessel.

The first, and only, selfish choice she's ever made was in reaching out to Thunderstar to offer him the power of her father.

Thunderstar's Justice is a story about a Thunder Storm at the pinnacle of his arc, how the survivors of his Clan are settling into the new normal after the carnage of The First Battle, how Skystar's arrogance brings a violent god to the Forest... and the connection Thunderstar makes with the daughter of a monster.

#Kronk meme: ''Oh Yeah. It's all coming together'' #I'll be making the fragments in another post #Just because this one's getting really long #It works well as an explanation of my intentions #I think I had been making a mistake previously to conceive of BB!Starf as a femme fatale who seduced Sky #Again: I'm not perfect! As I analyze and re-read with a more critical eye. My art changes. #Tho I will admit I do like the idea of a Starf who is totally cognizant of how she can manipulate a villain #Into doing what she wants. I do love myself a powerful and scheming woman #It's that it didn't fit my story or my themes OR even the purpose of BB as a fixit that addresses canon #Better bones au #BB!DOTC #BB!Star Flower #BB!Skystar #BB!Thunder Storm #Also imo this philosophy will let me make BB!One Eye what I think he deserves and works best as #THE WORSE OF TWO EVILS #The Tyrant of Tyrants #And man.... the idea that Skystar becomes the Clan patron of war... #The God of Summer laughs at him. #''Outdone and reeling your wounded pride speaks the words your tender mouth can never say'' #''That you were outclassed and now you obsess over the bigger monster you aren't good enough to become'' #''You fell into the step of a lion and think you can replicate what my paw does without effort.'' #Cw abuse #Tw abuse #Abuse #Child abuse

[whamgram]

It needs to be said Under My Skin is the best Radiobelle fanfic I have read so far! Everything in it is a 10 for 10 the characterization the plot, the slow burning romance it’s just so good the latest chapter had me somewhere between cackling, with giddy enjoyment and incoherently squealing at everything that happened.

Firstly, let me just say, Alastor’s mini shadow minions cuddling, and loving on Charlie was pure genius. It’s like he can’t be honest with himself so his powers find another way to release those feelings, and once again, it is thrust into his face how he really feels. Then the ending with the delivery with the flowers and him destroying the delivery man’s truck quite possibly killing the delivery man. Clearly, he’s never heard the term don’t shoot the messenger shoot the sender. His jealousy is definitely believable. We see it as clear as day because we’re getting a glimpse into his feelings, but he reacts to it subtly when other characters are around so they don’t take notice.

Now, for Vox’s scheming I like how you didn’t make Charlie, so naive as to believe that they wanted to sponsor the hotel without something in it for the vee’s. It was definitely a nice touch and refreshing to see Charlie being kind but not stupid. I feel like a lot of people don’t understand that just because a person is naïve does not mean that they’re stupid. Meanwhile Vox is trying to be cunning, but he can’t hide his physical reactions towards his animosity with Alastor but at the same time he subtly invades Charlie’s personal space not enough send her running for the hills but enough to give off a false sense of charming not that Charlie is fooled by it she’s obviously weirded out by his attempts. It’s clear that he wants to achieve something, but as what it is at the moment, I’m not entirely too sure he could be planning to put a false story out there of himself charming hell’s princess, in order to get under Alastor’s skin. But that’s just a guess. I feel like that’s not it though because it’s too obvious. I can’t wait to see Lucifer‘s reaction to all this because it seems like he knows something is brewing. He’s just not clear on what it is yet. And I’m all too eager to see Alastor lose his temper again

The sparring oh my God, the sporing was everything I hoped for and more it was just delicious just everything about it the mood, the tone, the teasing the banter that was just right and the the unintentional striptease!!! I had to be revived while reading the striptease! How did Alistair not realize that Charlie bit her lip so hard that she cut it? Alastor I understand you’re a massive emotion and you’re sweating through your feelings but you’ve got to pay attention. Your woman is literally thirsting over you. I also love that he’s training Charlie, because I feel like it adds to him saying what he said before about her having potential that he can guide.

My theory is on the awkward Boner tag is that it’s gonna happen if/ when Charlie loses her shit over something because he already checked her out before when she went into her full demon form over, losing her temper about the whole Gloryhole situation. But that was just her losing her temper for a quick second, if she were to actually harness that anger towards a person I think Alastor will be like Oh. Oh deer I need to excuse myself for a quick moment. All in all the chapter was fantastic. The whole story I could read four times and read it again it’s just so good may you continue to write I can’t wait to see what chapter 13 holds.

Oh my gosh, thank you so much! 🥰 This message has made my entire week!

I’m so glad you liked the cuddly shadowy minions! I just loved the idea of Alastor losing control over parts of himself because of his growing feelings for Charlie. He’s a guy who’s always in control of his emotions but he’s never had to deal with these types of emotions before. And he’s very ill-equipped to do so. That also causes these bouts of anger and jealousy that he also can’t control. It’s all he can manage to at least have these outbursts in private.

I agree about Charlie’s naivety! She’s kind and overly trusting but she’s not stupid. She’s willing to give Vox a chance because she’s willing to give everyone a chance. But she definitely went into the meeting feeling cautious and also picked up on his bad vibes. Plus Vox was very much trying to charm her in the same way Alastor does and she was like “Mmm no, that only works on me when Alastor does it.” 😉

I love the “training together” trope and couldn’t wait to write it for Charlie and Alastor! So much delicious potential for banter and sexual tension. 😏 And Alastor was too busy fuming over the insinuation that he lost to Adam because of his fancy clothes (which of course Charlie doesn’t actually think), that he totally didn’t notice her undressing the rest of him with her eyes.

You are very close about the awkward boner tag. 😉 I’ll just say it’s coming up soon.

#charlastor #hazbin hotel #whamgram asks #whamgram fics #not star wars

[tequiilasunriise]

Annabel Lee & Fears: A Short Essay Based On Ep70

Here it is, folks, the truest crux of Annabel’s character, her deepest fears is not going mad or even people discovering she’s not as put together as she tries to appear, but rather:

Was that gambit of constant scheming and using others worth it, Annabel? Was always trying to think ten steps ahead and always keep yourself in a position of power and control truly worth it, because how can you ever be trusted when all you do is play 5D chess with everyone?

There is is, folks!!! Just like her greatest strength- her cunning willpower- is centered around a certain bright moon, Annabel’s greatest fear is rooted in Lenore. The deepest, darkest trenches of her soul, the one thing that would shatter her heart and send her lungs choking fer breath? The killing blow that would end her and make all these charades worthless? It’s Lenore seeing her constant conniving and asking Annabel, “Why would I be any different? You already have no problem using everyone else as a pawn, how could I ever possibly trust you, Annabel Lee?”

The way Annabel is SUCH a great morally grey character, y’all tell me you love hot villains yet many a time I’ve seen people calling Annabel too heartless. She’s the opposite! She cares!! SO MUCH!!! She would burn the world down if it meant kissing Lenore one last time, to the point where her deepest fear is losing Lenore in the process of trying to protect her. All Annabel knows is using manipulation to gain the upper hand because simply being born a woman in the Victorian era she was so throughly disadvantaged by such a horribly misogynistic society that girlypop had to scrape together any form of control she could. Annabel wants so badly to protect Lenore but all she knows are her own methods of protecting herself, which involves plausibility deniability and facades and sometimes sheer cruelty, and that’s where the conflict arises. From the start Annabel assumed Lenore and her had the same understanding of this ‘fake enemies’ ploy going on but surprise surprise babygirl, not everyone is overthinking four parallel universes ahead like you do. This boils over into her lover having doubts on what’s real and what’s not, which then culminates into Lenore asking if Annabel is using her affections as empty currency to get what she wants, and Annabel’s first move to tell Lenore to fucken kill her????

“To you alone, I have left myself completely defenseless.”

The drama of it all!! The shattered facade leading to exploding vulnerability of it all!! The dim sun sparking out into a heat death just to prove her sincerity of it all!!! The exposed innermost organs ripping out my heart with my bare hands and begging you, “Do you see it now? Do you see the way it beats for you and only you? Tell me you see it, tell me you see me…” of it all!!

Oh baby the way Annabel still retains this deep fear of Lenore not truly believing in the “only thing that’s real” to her, the way her lover’s ghost still lingers and haunts her and is then ripped up from her innermost psyche like a desecrated grave and given form by Ada’s power. The way, after all this time- and I mean all this time from Lenore’s constructed resurrection, to their relationship blossoming into a wedding, all the fucking way up to that bell tower scene, the fucken way Annabel still never truly let go of her fear that Lenore doesn’t see her, doesn’t see how she alone bashed through all of Annabel’s walls and made a home where her heart laid. I’m sure during their living relationship all the way until the wedding Annabel’s fears were greatly settled, but it’s the fucken way these panels implied that this wretched heartache never completely left Annabel’s guilt-wracked soul.

I just know, okay I just KNOW, that even up until she was putting her wedding dress on Annabel still questioned if she even deserved this happy ending because she still feel phantoms of guilt fer this betrayal. This comic only furthers this implication of unabsolved guilt when it’s made clear as day that Annabel’s biggest fear is Lenore not believing in her love. And before anyone argues how Annabel can currently feel guilt fer betraying Lenore when she hasn’t recovered the memory yet, I’ll argue back that from the very beginning of the comic these two were inexplicably drawn to each other even when they had NO memories. Therefore, even if she doesn’t have the explicit memory, I highly doubt Annabel’s subconscious would ever let go of something as huge as deeply hurting the one person she truly cared about in such a wretched way.

Fuck, dude, I mean Annabel’s greatest fear wasn’t even Lenore dying- which was already a huge thing if y’all remember her tearstreaked, panicked, “What is left? If she’s not here, what’s the point?”- no her greatest is Lenore!!! Not!!! Believing!! Her!!! Like yeah losing Lenore physically definitely would’ve cut so deep even her bones would bear the scars, but losing Lenore in the form of the other woman walking the same ground as her but choosing to stay away?? Call her fucking selfish because some people would rather have their other half still be alive even if they’re not by their side, but Annabel ain’t one of them that’s fer sure. Babygirl has spent a lifetime perfecting the craft of deceiving others fer her own gain, but the ONE TIME she’s genuine her heart is to be called nothing more but empty??? Oh babbyyy that’s gotta fucken hurt.

The thing is, I don’t think Annabel really loves herself all that much. I really don’t. A huge focus on self-preservation doesn’t necessarily mean one really loves themselves, and when we add the aforementioned guilt she carries? Plus, the fact that Annabel being forced to swallow down her anxiety attacks from a young age could easily lead to her having a rather sour view of her 'not normal' self? Yeah no yeah, I truly don’t think Annabel loves herself that much, if at all. So really, this line is adding immense insult to already grievous injury. Not only does Annabel deeply fear Lenore not believing her affections to be true, she also fears the New Yorker misconstruing her as nothing more but a shallow as hell, prissy, little pampered damsel, a role pretty much everyone else regulates her into whether she wants it or not (right from the beginning, before she even set her schemes in full effect, Annabel was already explaining, “Ada wanted a queen, so I gave her one”). Lenore, the only one Annabel had believed to ever really see her fer her, is now discrediting Annabel’s vulnerable affections AND seeing her as that unloving ice queen like everyone else?? Horrible terrible horrible!!! She may have a ribbon threatening to strangle her right now, but it’s clear that ghost!Lenore’s words are what truly cut her down to size. Y’all seeing that fucken pain in Annabel’s eyes? Her worst fear is just so… personal.

Which actually leads me to my next point, which is how just before Annabel’s worst fear is revealed in stark, horrifying detail, we see Prospero’s. Lemme just preface this by saying what Prospero went through is n o t any less terrible and is a super fucken mega valid fear/trauma, but let me cook y’all just hear me out. Prospero’s fear seems to be about medical malpractice and/or being conscious during a painful operation that likely went south (aka ‘oh shiiitttt he fucken DEAD-‘), and that’s fucking tragic as all hell. Yet, okay let me cook here, it’s more… I don’t want to say general, because that does NOT mean his fear is any less significant but it’s like. Way back when, death via medical bullshit was more or less fairly common, especially during wartimes (which is the era I headcanon Prospero to be from); meanwhile, Annabel’s fear is so uniquely hers, it’s borne of a culmination of specific experiences tied together by her relationship with Lenore.

By contrast of a more common fear vs something so deeply personal and specific to this one person- because it’s not just unrequited love, it’s being so vehemently denied and misunderstood by the ONE (1!) person who you wholeheartedly trusted in your entire life who also oops mega died on you- this distinction gives way to an almost more raw, more visceral feeling to Annabel’s fear sequence. Again!!! I am not undermining Prospero’s own trauma, I promise!!! But you have to admit that there’s something, from a narrative standpoint, that hits so much harder with how deeply personal Annabel’s fear is. The contrast is even more great when you look at how Prospero’s involved a buncha bloodied hands not really tied to any faces or even any indication of personhood like accessories, scars, etc etc. It could’ve been a group of anyone holding him down hurting him; on the flipside, Annabel is being restrained by one very specific person we see in full view. The faceless crowd who could’ve been anyone at anytime vs the lone perpetrator whose history you know like a second name. It’s just!!! So personal!!!

In conclusion, on the surface level, one would think a character so deeply ingrained in using deceptions and manipulation would have her greatest fear tie into having her true nature revealed to everyone she’d fooled, but then it turns out it’s the complete fucking opposite. What homegirl fears the most is her truest, innermost self not being believed and accepted by just one (1!) person. The way it’s framed is just so heartstabbingly personal, especially when you parallel it to a previous fear sequence just a few panels preceding it. This is it, your honor, this is Annabel’s deepest driving force broken down to its bare essentials. To hell with whatever reputation she’s carefully crafted! Who cares what anyone else thinks of her if she doesn’t believe her, if she doesn’t SEE her. Really, truly see her. Lenore is the defining point that Annabel has revolves around so wholeheartedly, and there’s no point to anything anymore if Annabel loses her. This crux of her character, OHHH BBAAABBYY it’s just so well done because we, as the audience, have been given clear evidence to build up this narrative of Annabel’s characterization fer so long now and to finally see it come together in a fiery explosion of lesbian angst with this latest chapter??? Gods, the writing of Nevermore will never not drive me absolutely insane in the membrane.

#if yall think this essay went crazy i need yall to kmow i once wrote a legit MLA cited college research paper about mf Bumbleby #and I got a high grade and everything yall heard me it was 12 pt new times roman and had literal academic sources to back up my points #i had to cut it down from 15 pages to like 10 bc of a max word count my prof set it was so sad #so yeahhhhhhh your girl may or may not just go crazy on the fictional analysis #which makes sense when u know that imma character-driven writer #anyways in conclusion i be clocking in to fight fer annabel as an amazingly written character like its a 9-5 job #to all the ppl who doubted her how yall feeling rn hmmmmmmm #annabel lee whitlock ur just so much fun to dissect like a lesbian lab project #nevermore webtoon #white raven #annabel lee whitlock #lenore vandernacht #prospero nevermore #<—i swear i care fer the rat man guys i rlly rlly do #but man. the way annabel’s shit was just to personal. it rlly got me okay???

[glorixuspurpose]

The Missing Link

loki x black!daughter!reader

“So…all of you are Lokis? Even that one?” He asks, pointing at the girl, who scowls at him and smacks his hand down. 

“Yes…no…not really. We’re related..sort of, but obviously, I’m not him. He’s my-” She stops herself mid-sentence. “Wait, if you’re not a Loki, then why are you here, let alone with them? What was your nexus eve-”

  “Stop yelling! You’re gonna alert him!” Kid Loki shouts, pointing at the dark cloud in the sky. 

 They continue to walk until they reach a circular door in the floor, presumably a bunker. Classic Loki opens it.

 “Well?” Loki asks, still waiting on the girl’s answer. 

“I killed him.” She finally answers, as she descends into the vault. 

Something in his mind told it that it couldn’t be true. That girl looked familiar, too familiar, and he’s not one to forget faces.

“Wait, that can’t be true..” He mutters.

“Why can’t it be true?” She asks, mimicking his accent, as they all walk down to an area with a semicircle of chairs, with a small pool in the middle, probably for the alligator.

 She was starting to get annoyed. “Why not?”

“Because…er..well, what’s your name?” He asks. 

“Y/N.” She ever so quietly responds. 

“Y/N…”He repeats to himself, as if trying to memorize it. 

 “Then…that can’t be true because..I’m your father.” 

Y/N uncrosses her legs. “Woohoo. You finally figured it out. The last time you saw me was when I was more or less 5 years old, and Thor took you to see me. Honestly he was more of a father than you were, and honestly more than you ever will be.”

   (time skip bc i can barely remember this episode lol)

“Sylvie…and Mobius? You guys came here?” Loki asks. 

“Well some of us, not by choice, but for the most part, yeah.” Sylvie stays silent, then walks off.

 “And who might you be?” Mobius asks Freya, as if she were some random little kid that approached him. “Y/N.” She bluntly responds.

             (another time skip, woohoo!)

A/N: And now for the good part.

 “Why did you tell me that your nexus event was killing me?” Loki asked, as they sat in the grass.

“Quite the questionnaire, aren’t you?” You jokes, subtly breaking her ever so permanent poker face with a slight smirk. 

“You might as well have been dead anyway.” 

Loki frowns. 

“Well? What was it?” 

She fully smirks. “I don’t remember.” 

Loki’s hopeful face returns to a frown, then he creates himself a blanket, wrapped around him.  Y/N chuckles. 

“Of course you would do that.”

 Loki sighs. “Do you really not remember?” 

“I wouldn’t be a descendant of the God of Mischief if I didn’t tell a lie now and then. Of course I remember.” 

A gust of wind blows, and causes Freya to shiver, and her teeth to chatter. 

Loki alters the blanket so it’s wrapped around the both of them. 

 “You didn’t have to do that.” 

“You seemed cold.” 

“Is this some kind of stupid scheme to get me to tell you?”

“What? No!” 

 Y/N tilts her head so it’s leaning on Loki’s shoulder.

“Tell me about my mother.” 

 “Oh…wow. Okay,” Loki says, taken aback by the sudden question. 

“Well, she was a smart, strong, beautiful, and independent woman. She really never needed me. She had powers, just like mine–and yours– but she liked to use these fans with blades on them…and she liked to cut me with them.” That earned a chuckle from Freya.

 “She also loved the color purple. It was her absolute favorite, and she would wear it pretty much everyday. She also adored grilled cheeses ever since we first went to Midgard. She really could’ve had anyone she wanted.  I have idea why she chose me. Considering that, if it weren’t for me, she might have still been alive.”

 Loki subtly wipes his eyes with his shoulder. 

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“I thought I was saving her, but obviously I proved myself otherwise.” 

“Saving her?”

“Well you see, there was…let’s just say, a battle, and..she was hurt. I was out of my mind to think that this would work, but I turned her to stone. I thought that..because I did that, it would heal when I turned her back. I saw it work before..and I knew how to turn her back, but it was too late.”

 “I wish I could have spoken to her…even if it was only for three minutes. I…” She looks behind her. “I think she wants to talk to you.” She tell him, pointing to Sylvie. 

 “I think she can wait.” Y/N creates a watch and checks it. It’s only just going backwards. Really fast. 

“This watch is not useful, but I’m sure she’s been waiting long enough. I’m always gonna be here. There’s no leaving.” 

 Loki stands up, making the blanket disappear. 

“Except you can leave, because you’re coming with us.”

#loki x black!reader #black!reader #loki x reader #platonic!reader #loki x daughter!reader

[mariana-oconnor]

A Scandal in Bohemia

A slight rant about Irene Adler and her portrayal in adaptations.

Irene Adler is so often portrayed as a love interest (romantic/sexual/intellectual) of Sherlock and I understand why, I do. Sex sells. People want a romance in their story. People historically have been unable to imagine any possible situation in which a man shows interest in a woman that is not romantic or sexual in nature.

It also, in more recent times, allows adapters the chance to extend her part so there's a canonical multilayered female character in their adaptation and they don't have to make one up. BUT

a) Irene Adler isn't a love interest for Sherlock Holmes

and

b) She's not even really an adversary.

People portray Irene Adler as this cunning, often criminal, female character, going through life manipulating people and often as a straight up con woman. And it's dramatic and it's fun and she's really cool like that.

But really, at heart, A Scandal in Bohemia is about a woman who wants to move on and her creepy ex who has some sort of power over her that she's trying to escape.

The line from the original story, in Irene's own hand is:

The King may do what he will without hindrance from one whom he has cruelly wronged. I keep it only to safeguard myself, and to preserve a weapon which will always secure me from any steps which he might take in the future.

And based on what we've seen of the King, I'm really more inclined to believe her than him. His repeated exhortations of 'what a queen she would have made' if she were 'on his level', when he's marrying an entirely different woman. And multiple other weird and borderline creepy things he says in reference to her.

But look at her actions: She marries in secret. She marries hurriedly. She has been forewarned that the King might approach Sherlock to an extent that she is looking out for him. On realising that Holmes is close, she ransacks her own home and leaves the country. That's not the actions of someone who is in control of the situation. That's the actions of someone who is scared. Someone who has a powerful enemy and is taking measures to mitigate the issues that causes.

We're never told how the king 'cruelly wronged' her. It could be any number of things. Perhaps she's lying. The only facts we have on the matter are these:

The King and Irene had some sort of a relationship that resulted in an indiscreet photograph.

The King wants that photo back.

Irene believes she needs to be married quickly and in secret.

Irene leaves the country rather than risk a confrontation or give up the photograph.

That's a very different story from any adaptation I've seen. And like I've said, I get why, but I feel like we're missing the adaptation of a woman outsmarting and outplaying her abusive ex and making a new life for herself.

Maybe the people writing the adaptations find this motivation boring and unimportant. They want the woman who outsmarted the Great Sherlock Holmes to be worthy of that title and they don't find the tale of a woman outrunning an unpleasant, if not outright abusive ex to marry someone she actually loves to be grand or dramatic enough (and given the way his story changes, I'm not going to rule out extreme gaslighting here, man seems unable to keep his story straight and weirdly possessive). Of course 'The Woman' must be a brilliant mastermind. Of course she's manipulating everyone around her. Of course she is. Only that kind of woman could possibly outwit our hero. /sarcasm

Also, Godfrey Norton deserves to be adapted more. This is a man who clearly trusts and supports his fiancee/wife. He's totally prepared to drop his very respectable job as a lawyer at the drop of a hat to run away with her. I assume from those facts that he has at least some awareness of the situation and supports her. Godfrey Norton is a gentleman and a scholar.

ETA: I'm not saying that she's not brilliant. She is brilliant. Her disguise fools Holmes, she sees through his disguise and his scheme. She manages to keep him out of her plans to the extent that he's playing catch up the whole time. She absolutely defeated Holmes. But she's also compassionate - she cares for the old man Holmes portrays - she's in love with her husband, and she's understandably scared. None of that detracts from her brilliance, in fact it serves to make her more brilliant if anything. She's capable of doing these things while she's clearly upset and worried.

Adaptations tend to ignore those qualities - the more feminine qualities? She's not brilliant in the way that people want her to be brilliant. It often seems like they're not looking for Irene Adler, they are looking for a female Moriarty.

#Sherlock Holmes #Letters from Watson #a scandal in bohemia #Irene Adler

[priscilla9993]

Chess Allusions: Pawn Parallels

Rogers: “So you can use [her info] as leverage against [Belfrey]?”

Weaver: “Well that’s how this game works, Detective.”

Talking in the park, Weaver and Rogers both want the information that Tilly knows, the kind that causes Victoria to feel threatened, enough to blackmail Weaver with Tilly’s imprisonment and some CCTV footage of his misdeeds. Although both detectives covet finding and questioning Tilly for what she knows, their motives differ. 

Weaver has a “means to an end” approach, valuing Tilly only when she can be useful in his schemes. His selfish nature sides with his freedom and power over her wellbeing, and he’s okay with that. Tilly might be his informant with the ‘best eyes and ears in Hyperion Heights’, but at the end of the day, she’s replaceable, someone worth losing if it means he gains a stepping stone in the long game against taking down Victoria Belfrey.

Rogers: “Is that all this girl is to you and Belfrey? A pawn? Then why don’t we split up, since one of us actually wants to help her?”

But to Rogers, who doesn’t even know Tilly at this point, he sees Victoria and Weaver’s game as something where people win at the expense of somebody else and goes into full papa bear mode. Rogers wants to help Weaver as a partner and wage justice against Victoria, but not at the cost of using Tilly. He sees Tilly as a vulnerable person caught in the crossfire of a game they didn’t even know they were playing, rather than a soldier in a chess match, and wants to talk to her on equal terms. 

His opinion of Tilly being a bit off kilter but innocent at heart only strengthens when Weaver, in the hospital, unexpectedly pardons her of assumed criminal charges, telling Rogers an obvious lie about a masked robber being the one who shot the gun. Upon meeting Tilly outside of the hospital room, Rogers sees a confused, distraught, and guilt ridden young woman playing a game of chess alone. He tells her the facts with a kind opinion, “Look, you weren’t in your right frame of mind. He doesn’t blame you.” They build up an acquaintance and the budding start of a camaraderie over chess.

However, this all changes when the monster that is Gothel/the fire nation arrives Eloise Gardener gets into the playing field. Victoria and Drizella play cat and mouse, Weaver uses Tilly in a game of lies, and Rogers tries to make sense of things, inadvertently rescuing Gothel, the big bad spider.

Rogers to Weaver: You lied! And you made Tilly lie. Why did you do that?!

Weaver: Because you don't know what's going on around here... But I did it for one reason: to protect you from your bloody self.

(gratuitous physical violence scene bc I love the dynamic)

What Rumple could mean by ‘bloody self’ could be that Rogers lets his temper cloud his judgment first before he goes seeking revenge on/fighting for justice for those who deserve it most. I think that's where Rumple sees the most Killian come out from the supposed "Eagle Scout" detective, stubborn and determined to stick to his guns until he gets to his desired conclusion, which in this case is finding Eloise Gardener (Gothel). 

Rogers defends Tilly, despite only meeting her a few times, going so far as to bodyslam Weaver as he confronts him. However, he loses his respect for her after finding Eloise, where no explanation could outweigh the cost.

Rogers: What do you want?

Tilly: To say I’m sorry about the page. Weaver said it was for the best and I can’t always figure that out for myself.

Rogers: Take a look at what he was covering up. Now tell me, was that for the best? You know what? I understand. I’m just disappointed. You weren’t the person I thought you were.

Rogers is a man of many things, holding grudges being one of them and being rational in the other. The blonde informant had gone so far as to even lie to him about Eloise, dead of all things. As much as he wanted to forgive Tilly, he didn’t know if he could.

At the end of the day, in Rogers’s mind, Eloise needed help, rescue, and emergency aid, something that only happened because of his deep obsession with finding a missing girl from a cold case. And Tilly deterred him from saving a life, unintentional or not.

Roni: “Henry told me about how Weaver used that girl, Tilly.”

Rogers: “Well, it seems to me like she wanted to be a pawn.”

Rogers feels his trust was betrayed and remains disappointed in Tilly. He saw Weaver being a shady bastard from a mile away, but he didn’t expect her to be complicit in Weaver’s dirty schemes. He wanted to believe Tilly was the kind of person who questioned whatever she was told and made her own path on decisions like he did, not so easily roped into following plans, especially ones of slimy bastards like Weaver. If Rogers saw Tilly as an innocent victim of society before, moved around like a pawn, he feels wronged in his judgment and probably thinks she was content to be a sheep to Weaver’s mysterious whims. 

Who was he to believe she could be more than a pawn when she chose to be one?

Luckily, Roni was there to whack the obviously menacing poisoned cake from his hands and knock some sense into him.

Regina as Roni: “You know, people only let themselves be used when they don’t have any other option. How about you give her one?”

Tilly, even if a marmalade sandwich was needed as incentive, had been willingly helpful to his case. The only moment she hadn’t been was when she was under Weaver’s thumb, someone she had known and trusted like a father figure, unlike him who was a stranger in her eyes. People came and went from the older detective’s team, knowledge of informants and detective partners leaving frequently unless they had a special skill set or blackmail hanging over them. If anything, she wasn’t fully to blame.

What Tilly and Rogers can't see until it's too late, being cursed and all, is that they are good natured people afraid of getting hurt, wanting to help others, but unfortunately victims of manipulation, of those with ulterior agendas that use them as playing pieces, making them no better than pawns. 

Roni was right. People like Tilly wouldn’t let themselves be used like pawns if they didn’t have any other option. She had been brave enough to show up to the crime scene to apologize to him in person after what she did, not caring about being forgiven, and he hadn’t even given what she had said a second thought. Knowing Weaver, Rogers would have concluded that the old bastard probably didn’t even give her the entire picture and used her good intentions in an ill manner befitting the man’s deceitful ways, leading her to think it was for the best. 

This leads to Rogers making a step in the right direction. It doesn’t take more than Roni’s small nudge of advice to get him to internally forgive Tilly and go in search of her, eventually offering a chess set to help pass the time with a weekly game and a friend who’d listen if she’d accept. From then on, Rogers and Tilly both grow and begin to trust again, trying to protect the other from getting harmed as the consequence of another’s scheme.

#chess allusions #ouat meta #knightrook #detective rogers #detective weaver #ouat tilly #ouat s7 #ouat 7x04 #ouat 7x07 #ouat 7x08 #this stayed unedited in my drafts for too long #I'm starting to think belief and intent are powerful things

[goodqueenaly]

I fell into a rabbit hole of your metas and it's great stuff! But while reading your bits over the Southern Bloc I couldnt help notice something. In Dance(ithink) Barbrey Dustin speaks to Theon about her distrusts for the maesters and insuates that Rickard's Southron ambitions were groomed by the maester of that time. I doubt that GRRM wrote that for no reason, and in the your work I don't see any mention of the Maesters 1/2

(tbh I really wouldn't be surprised if we don't get to see anything substantial on the Maester conspiracy because of time and pacing in two books thanks to GrRm great scheduling bbtp) but do you think the Maesters have any important part on the Southron Bloc plans? Because if so, what would have been their greater goal?

P.S. and another thing! Rickard Starks ambition level is unusual in most of the historical Starks throughout the Targaryen dynasty. Two sons and a daughter connected to land beyond the Neck? I know you mentioned why Rickard would benefit from these relationships, but why did he think of this in The first place? Why did he think it was better to go against the Targaryens when they hadn't bothered with the North much at that point?

P.S. pt2: I really think it was the Maesters that low-key were pushing, for something, and they really needed to cinch Rickard in. Except that Dragons and magic no longer seem to exist, so why continue to erode the Targaryens away(their anti Martell agenda checks out, at least) even if Aegon IV had done what he wanted to do it's not like the Maesters would suffer or benefit either? Sorry, I accidently put myself in the rabbit hole. It's dark here. Bye

The short answer is that I really don't believe in any maester conspiracy explanation for the (as yet theorized) southron ambitions power bloc. I think that there are (again, potential) explanations for why Rickard Stark (and, by extension, Jon Arryn and Hoster Tully) acted as they did which are not dependent on, or even really explained by, a united conspiracy of maesters puppeteering various paramount lords. I am not saying there has never been any greater schemes among maesters ever, only that I believe this specific group of marital and fostering alliances was the product of the aristocratic men involved rather than their maesters.

Number one, I think Barbrey Dustin's comments regarding maesters should be taken with a heavy grain of salt. I don't mean that Barbrey is stupid, far from it, but rather that Barbrey is a woman with very specific grievances and very specific sources of blame for those grievances. Because Barbrey believes that she loved Brandon and that Brandon loved her, she needs a way to explain the failure of her romantic desires that does not blame either herself or Rickard and Brandon Stark (since, after all, Barbrey's goal was to become a Stark herself). This is, after all, the same Barbrey who asserts that Brandon never wanted to marry Catelyn, despite the fact that Brandon fought a duel with (and nearly killed) the person who challenged him for Catelyn's hand and explicitly affirmed his commitment to Catelyn, to Catelyn, before he left for King's Landing. Accordingly, villainizing Rickard's old maester (who was both a foreigner - that is, not a northerner - and a bastard, with all the accompanying prejudice there) and Catelyn Tully (another foreigner to the North) allows Barbrey to create a narrative in which she, Brandon, and Rickard did no wrong and naturally (to her) untrustworthy people can serve as scapegoats instead. Barbrey is a smart and canny woman, but she is as much subject to bias and prejudice as any other character, and given those very apparent biases I am reluctant to simply accept what Barbrey says about maesters as true.

Now, could there be a secondary reason the author included this perspective from Barbrey? Just as the story Godric Borrell tells of the fisherman's daughter and the story Edric Dayne tells of Wylla the wet nurse are both (almost certainly) objectively wrong accounts which nevertheless support the true proposition that there is a greater mystery to be revealed about Jon Snow's mother, so perhaps Barbrey Dustin's antipathy toward maesters is wrongly justified but intended to catch readers' attention to a more general point. Perhaps the author wants to suggest here that there is something a bit underhanded happening with some maesters, just not politically - that is, that individual historical maesters probably helped finish off the Targaryen dragons, and that few modern maesters recognize the potency (and danger) of magic (an attitude which will be immediately, and fatally, undone when Euron shows up to take over Oldtown).

I think it is also important to contextualize Rickard in his time and place. Certainly, it was the case that few (although some) Starks had married outside the North, at least so far as we have the Stark family tree - which, by the way, was as much true for a family like the Lannisters (whose marriages from Damon Lannister through the present day were almost exclusively with other Westerlands Houses), and probably as much true for families like the Tullys and Arryns as well - but it was also very unusual, indeed virtually unique, for all the senior commanders of Westeros to meet in a single space to war against a foreign invading army, which is exactly what happened during the War of the Ninepenny Kings - a war in which RIckard almost certainly served as Warden of the North. This was the perfect opportunity for Rickard to meet his fellow Warden Jon Arryn, as well as senior Riverlands commanders Hoster and Brynden Tully - and if they may not have finalized their entire geopolitical strategy and ambition in that moment (which would have been impossible to do anyway, given that Robert Baratheon, the Stark boys, and the Tully girls did not then exist), they certainly had the chance to discuss their opinions on the current state of the kingdom and build the foundations of their allegiance and mutual regard for one another.

And indeed, it's specifically not the case that the Targaryens "hadn't really bothered with the North much at that point" - quite the opposite, I think Targaryen action and inaction toward the North may have been a major source of grievance that motivated Rickard's participation in this alliance bloc. Remember that when the North needed help during the reign of Aerys I - when Dagon Greyjoy decided to make the west coast of Westeros his playground for pillaging and reaving - the Iron Throne specifically, consciously did nothing. That purposeful inaction directly betrayed part of the feudal promise enshrined when the Targaryen kingdom was formed: in return for the homage and and military service promised by the Iron Throne’s vassals, the Iron Throne agreed to protect those vassal families when they could not protect themselves - when, in fact, the realm itself was threatened. If the Iron Throne had probably (through Maekar) eventually intervened to solve the Dagon problem, Rickard’s great-grandfather Beron and his sons had learned the hard way that the Iron Throne’s commitment to its protective obligations was at best dependent on the personality of the monarch on the throne (and/or the monarch’s chief advisor). That’s not a lesson that I think Rickard - who was ruling barely half a century later - would necessarily have forgotten, or not considered in his political decisions and ambitions. If the Iron Throne ignored its individual vassals' plight without compunction, perhaps the way to make the dynasty listen - to ensure the Dagon problem could not happen again, in other words - was to unite as a bloc with other great Houses, the better to force the dynasty's notice.

Nor might the Starks have appreciated the opposite end of the Targaryens’ exercise of royal power - that is, under Aegon V, whose stated goal as king was to curtail lordly power by "grant[ing] rights and protections to the commons that they had never known before". It is unclear as yet how the Starks felt about Aegon V's program of reforms, yet it is certainly the case that unidentified other lords deeply resented the king's actions, even going so far as to describe him as "a bloodyhanded tyrant intent on depriving us of our gods-given rights and liberties". Indeed, this had not been the first time the Targaryens had intervened in the North to remove traditional privileges of the Starks and their vassals, since under Jaehaerys I the crown had both forced Winterfell to donate lands of its vassals to the Night's Watch and removed the right to the first night (across the continent, to be sure, but even Barth specifically noted at the time that "some lords [would] surely grumble at this [i.e. the end to the first night], especially in the North"); moreover, at least the first of those royal decisions seems to have caused deep resentment among some of the Starks. It's possible, therefore, that Rickard (who may have come into his lordship toward the end of Aegon's reign) agreed that the crown could not simply (metaphorically speaking) stomp into the North and start making demands on those rights which Aegon I had long ago promised to protect.

All of this, I think, may have culminated in an expression of frustration when the various Westerosi commanders met during the War of the Ninepenny Kings. If the Iron Throne had failed to uphold its end of the feudal bargain, in the eyes of these lords, it was now nevertheless demanding that its vassals still provide theirs - fighting for the crown at the summons of the king, to keep the king on the Iron Throne against the ambitions of a foreign challenger. For the first time, the Targaryen dynasty had left a major war entirely to the execution of its vassals, expecting that those families whose ancestors had bent the knee to the Targaryens would lead the charge against the Blackfyre forces (while the sickly king retired in the capital and his young heir served as a mere squire). Why, men like Rickard, Jon, Hoster, and Brynden might have wondered, were they giving their blood and sweat - and the blood and sweat of their vassals in turn - for a dynasty which had decided that the feudal bargain meant little or nothing when it came to the Targaryens' responsibilities? If once the answer had been dragons, that answer was no longer true over a century after the death of the last dragon; I think the Starks, Tullys, and Arryns may have realized that, with the balance of power irrevocably (or so they thought) shifted, now was the time to ally together, the better to rewrite the feudal playbook in a way which better recognized their power and authority.

Conversely, and to the point you made, I do not see any reason why the maesters (assuming all maesters would even act for a single purpose, which I think is simply wrong) would have any desire to encourage these specific marriage and fostering arrangements. Even if we start with the idea that "the Maesters ... were pushing, pushing, for something, and they really needed to cinch Rickard in", what exactly was the end goal here? As you yourself note, it could not have been the extinction of the dragons (which had not existed for almost 150 years by this point), and there seems to have been no animosity on a political level between the Citadel and the Targaryen dynasty, certainly not by this time (indeed, the Citadel's representative enjoyed a place at the right hand of the monarch, as Grand Maester).

#asoiaf meta #southron ambitions

[raziraphale]

I've learned not to trust my memory, so I wanted to make a note for myself of some things I enjoyed from the Neptune production of RAGAD before it all leaks out my ears. It's mostly for me but thought I'd post it here in case it's interesting to anyone else.

Note for people that aren't me: this is the only production of RAGAD I've seen live. I've seen the movie and the 2017 NTL recording as of writing this, for reference. So, forgive me if I gush about elements/choices that are common to RAGAD productions and not unique to this one lol. Also I was an English major but not a theatre guy outside some Shakespeare, so also bear with me if I'm lacking some specific terms.

Performances:

I feel like this almost goes without saying but Boyd and Monaghan are excellent as Guildenstern and Rosencrantz. Their chemistry is great. There was an excellent rhythm to their dialogue together that was really fast-paced without feeling artificial (imo there is a certain point where performers talk so fast it can only feel fake. They were all believable enthusiam).

I particularly liked Monaghan's Rosencrantz! like there was just something so earnest about him. He had this character tic of chewing on his finger most of the time out of anxiety or inattention and that stuck out for me for some reason. It was endearing. Also the line "I wanted to make you happy" made the whole theatre let out a wounded animal noise.

Also Boyd's Guildenstern really did a good job of projecting an aura of "person trying really hard to appear in control but may also snap any moment". Control freak recognizing control freak o7

The Player (Michael Blake) was amazing. He had such huge stage presence that you really believed the character was a seasoned performer. I fully believe this man could successfully sell me snake oil with the power of his presence alone.

Personal note but I was jazzed to see Drew Douris-O'Hara as Alfred. I'm not a regular Neptune patron so I don't know how often he appears in their productions, but I have seen many a Shakespeare By The Sea show in my time so he's a very familiar face. Always a really fun presence.

I also feel like I have to mention Ophelia (Helen Belay) even though she obviously doesn't get much to do here. The actress really sold every small appearance though like my heart broke a little every time I saw her in anticipation for her off-stage fate. Less important but have you ever seen a woman so beautiful you started crying?

Costumes:

I really liked Ros and Guil's tattered suits. They looked like they were dragged behind a horse. These are the clothes of two guys that have been trapped in a play for like 50 years, truly.

They also had an inverted colour scheme (Ros had a blue suit with a green waistcoat, Guil had a green suit with blue waistcoat) that really emphasized the two-sides-of-the-same-coin/ yin & yang vibe. Also the colours weren't really shared by the rest of the cast much (they tended to be a bit more muted) so it made them stand out as separate from the rest of what was happening.

Also personal note but I was enchanted by Monaghan's slightly stupid-looking grown-out fauxhawk. He basically had a lesbian mullet haircut. That combined with his single dangly earring was a Look.

The Player's coat was gorgeous. It felt grand but also appropriately dated/worn. It wasn't fully a feather jacket, but it had a smattering of large feathers that got more dense as it went down. It kind of reminded me of a vulture, honestly, which I think is fitting, with him being an opportunist that loves some corpses.

Script:

Misc. Stage Stuff:

Unless I'm really mistaken, I think they cut/modified the few lines with some outdated racial terms (I have two specifically in mind, referring to Chinese and Inuit people). So unless I just somehow missed hearing those, that's nice.

Just a note to say that the line about who the English King is will depend on when they get to England got a huge laugh. Thank you to King Charles' cancer for making everything funnier

The lighting !!! It really did a lot to separate the scenes from Hamlet from the rest of it. The stage was dark for most of it, with cool lighting (like a blue darkness). For the Hamlet portions, though, the lights were suddenly bright and warm yellow. That combined with the differences in the performances gave a strong impression that the curtain had just suddenly risen on a more traditional production of Hamlet right in the middle of Ros and Guil just doing whatever.

I really liked how they used the two risers on wheels they had (not sure if that's the right word -- they were those three-tiered platforms I remember from doing choir in school. Kind of like bleachers). They looked like they belonged on an empty stage and also gave the actors something interesting to climb on. They were able to reposition them pretty easily with the wheels, which really worked for the portions on the boat tbh. They just pushed them together so that the lower tiers touched to create a half-pipe-shaped skeletal "boat". They could climb "above deck", or even go below while still being fully visible from whatever angle. The whole thing was spun around a lot during the pirate attack, which was fun.

The risers also separated the stage really well in the first two acts. For most of it, there was one on the left side facing the audience, for characters to sit on, and one on the right facing backwards and partially obscured by the curtain they had covering that side of the stage. The curtain was backlit, so you could see the silhouettes of anything behind it. At some points, you could actually see shadows of events in Hamlet happening in the background while Ros and Guil were doing their thing in the foreground. Unfortunately I didn't get the best look at them, bc I was sitting at far right of my row, so the far right of the stage was partially out of my sight line. Still a really cool effect!

They did turn the risers fully around to face the back during the players' performance of The Murder of Gonzago, with the curtain pulled across. You saw the shadow of the king standing up and storming out.

For the final scene, they did the expected thing, where Ros and Guil are alone in the dark, illuminated by a single narrow spotlight each. The spotlight goes out when each of them die and they disappear from view. The detail that made me insane though is that each time a spotlight went out, they played the sound of a flipped coin hitting the stage and the audience was so quiet it felt like a gunshot both times.

After all the deaths they had Rosencrantz and Guildenstern start from the opening scene again tossing coins for a bit before the final curtain. They did not escape the narrative 😔

Will add more if anything else comes to mind?

#this felt good to write out #cementing the details in my brain #since alas I cannot follow the show to toronto #and it doesn't look like it's going to get filmed #which is a travesty #beyond lucky to be able to see it at all #things like this never come out my way it's nice lol #reilly.txt #rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Thunder on the Mountain · Bob Dylan

* * * *

Thunder on the mountain, and there's fires on the moon A ruckus in the alley and the sun will be here soon Today's the day, gonna grab my trombone and blow Well, there's hot stuff here and it's everywhere I go

I was thinkin' 'bout Alicia Keys, couldn't keep from crying But she was born in Hell's Kitchen, I was living down the line I'm wondering where in the world Alicia Keys could be I been looking for her even clear through Tennessee

Feel like my soul is beginning to expand Look into my heart and you will sort of understand You brought me here, now you're trying to run me away The writing on the wall, come read it, come see what it say

Thunder on the mountain, rolling like a drum Gonna sleep over there, that's where the music coming from I don't need any guide, I already know the way Remember this, I'm your servant both night and day

The pistols are poppin' and the power is down I'd like to try somethin' but I'm so far from town The sun keeps shinin' and the North Wind keeps picking up speed Gonna forget about myself for a while, go out and see what others need

I've been sitting down studying the art of love I think it will fit me like a glove I want some real good woman to do just what I say Everybody got to wonder what's the matter with this cruel world today

Thunder on the mountain rolling to the ground Gonna get up in the morning walk the hard road down Some sweet day I'll stand beside my king I wouldn't betray your love or any other thing

Gonna raise me an army, some tough sons of bitches I'll recruit my army from the orphanages I been to St. Herman's church, said my religious vows I've sucked the milk out of a thousand cows

I got the porkchops, she got the pie She ain't no angel and neither am I Shame on your greed, shame on your wicked schemes I'll say this, I don't give a damn about your dreams

Thunder on the mountain heavy as can be Mean old twister bearing down on me All the ladies in Washington are scrambling to get out of town Looks like something bad gonna happen, better roll your airplane down

Everybody's going and I want to go too Don't wanna take a chance with somebody new I did all I could and I did it right there and then I've already confessed – no need to confess again

Gonna make a lot of money, gonna go up north I'll plant and I'll harvest what the earth brings forth The hammer's on the table, the pitchfork's on the shelf For the love of God, you ought to take pity on yourself

[Bob Dylan]

#Bob Dylan #music #songs #lyrics #my favorites #rock and roll #poem #poetry #Youtube

[goldensunset]

What do you think of Kairi, Xion, Naminé, and Aqua? Just general feelings, nothing too detailed if you don't want to-

like as a team, or individually?

as a team: oh how i WISH we could see it in canon. even if it were to end up borderline tokenism-y like with marvel. i would love to see the girl power squad idc i think they should hype each other up their color schemes together would be so pretty

kairi: my dearly beloved. yes the writers need to treat her better but so do the fans. she does have clearly defined character motivations and it’s weird to act like she doesn’t just bc they’re not ones that people like. she just wants stability and a home after having lost her memories and crash-landed somewhere as a toddler. she’s afraid of change but will do anything to stay with her friends in the midst of a fast-moving world because she’s lost them too many times. she’s a bit out of touch with them and sometimes clearly doesn’t know the right thing to do or say. i hope kh4 treats her kindly and gently and gives her more agency without trying to flatten her into a hashtag strong independent woman. i have high hopes for my little strawberry and wild daydreams about what i would love to see as her precise role in coming games. wrote some stuff in the tags here. i swear i thought i had more pre-written essays to draw on than that i know there’s so much i’m leaving out but i think i got the main points

xion: truly i will never be able to get over her story and especially her theme. what an incredibly well composed piece of music. honestly she and her theme were like a major factor as to me getting into this series. i’m very happy she’s alive after all that. i said a lot about her here already recently so i won’t burn myself out going into detail again. even that i feel like is a minor weak attempt at fully conveying my emotions regarding her. oh and a few more thoughts here

naminé: tbh thinking about chain of memories reduces me to a puddle but like in a bittersweet way as opposed to the pure bitterness of days. like sora’s interactions with her… their relationship even if it was brief and based on an illusion…the writing and animation and voice acting was legit so good man. i’m a wreck. nami is so beautiful and strong and horribly horribly sad but she gets overlooked… the thing is that even if she has people who love her she’s still nobody’s first choice. she doesn’t have her own place to go. she’s still lonely…

aqua: MAN she’s so interesting.. the way she’s carrying on eraqus’ legacy in both good and bad ways… the way she was corrupted after wandering a distorted world alone for a decade… the way she’s headstrong and determined and fights so hard yet can hardly make a difference as her world falls down around her… the way she’s incredibly strong and proud yet you see her once-firm core begin to shake as time passes on… not entirely related but i hope we get to see her (and the other two) (and kairi as her student!) visit the ruins of scala ad caelum bc they’re the last ones carrying on that legacy

#sorry if this is lazy lol i’m tired #sometimes if i Said It Well Before i’m like eh why bother rephrasing when i could redirect you to it #i mean you did say not too detailed #the answer is i love them all i love every kh character… #asks #thanks anon #kingdom hearts #kairi #xion #naminé #aqua #mine: kh

[burr-ell]

Man, if I had a nickel for everytime a godly/divine group was called colonizers that deserves to die primarily by a niche of people trying to justify the morally questionable/lacking decisions of a fan fave character, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't much, but it's weird it's happened twice right?

That's been playing on a loop in my head ever since all this kicked up. (Especially relevant given the lunatic who's been running around claiming the Nabatean genocide was good and that all white people should die and then pulling Schrödinger's Joke when called out.) Fortunately, Imogen is a genuinely compelling character played by a real human woman rather than a cobbled-together mess written by a group of conservative corporate men who desperately want her to appeal to adolescent boys—but the "I support women's wrongs <3 unless I actually have to deal with their implications in the narrative" fan crowd functions the same for both.

And I know you didn't really ask about my thoughts on Imogen (TLDR: I enjoy her in canon a million times more than in fanon), but I had some:

To be clear, I like Imogen a lot! She's kind-hearted and irritable; caring and withdrawn; moral and cynical; clever and impatient; protective and ruthless. She does everything in her power to keep her friends safe, but she still looks at their murderers and wonders (in front of her friends!) if they have a point. She wants to keep innocents out of harm's way, but she doesn't seem to clock that the people of Gelvaan might be wary of her because she almost killed some of them. She never asked for her powers and is sometimes afraid of herself because of them, but she's also intrigued by what they can do and won't hesitate to use them for what are sometimes, in the scheme of things, rather petty reasons.

All of that is good—not because her unpleasant actions are excusable, but because they say something interesting about her as a person. And in order for unpleasant actions to actually say anything, they have to have actually been unpleasant, rather than handwaved away under mountains of blorbofied excuses.

It's the same with Percy, where in order to engage with him fully as a character I have to actually acknowledge that he's both a deeply flawed and deeply virtuous person who helped resurrect a child he'd never met and knowingly gave a cursed sword to his friend. Or, to bring it back to FE3H for a second, I wrote this meta a few months ago about why I find Claude to be more compelling than Dimitri, and the summary of it is that I actually enjoy the moments where Claude acts like kind of a dick because they're very grounded and it fleshes out his character—but I have to actually acknowledge that Claude was acting like kind of a dick before I can really appreciate that facet of him.

Plenty of criticism aimed at Imogen is just thinly-veiled misogyny, but some of it is also criticism that's been leveled at Percy, Vax, Caleb, and Fjord, so that's clearly not the only reason behind it. A fair bit of the complaints we're hearing (Main Character Syndrome, why is it all about them, [player] is hogging the spotlight, etc) are, at the end of the day, usually more rooted in "well why isn't it about my blorbo/escapism experience!". Ultimately though, the difference between the good- and bad-faith criticism is that every single person I've seen actually engaging with realistic implications of Imogen's flaws absolutely loves her and isn't at all shy about saying so.

I mean, y'know, people can engage with fandom however they want—but if you're only willing to grapple with negative emotions as far as "oh i made myself sad :(", you're going to have a very difficult time when someone else's choices make you a lot more than sad.

#critical role #cr meta #cr discourse #fe3h discourse

[secretsofthemourning]

Spy X Family Theories and Predictions

Excessively Extra Over-Indulgent Long Post Warning: I absolutely refuse to call any of this a head cannon, but this is my personal analysis of some situations so far in Spy X Family and my prediction for the future of the story. I’ve watched all the anime and I am currently on volume 1 of the manga, but up to volume 9 has been released. I am aware of most of the characters and spoilers up to this point, so spoilers really don’t keep my from being invested in the manga or show. If any of my theory has already been mentioned, I would love to know, I would give me much personal satisfaction. Also, if any fan fiction writers want to tackle this one, go ahead, but as a fic writer myself, I may also write this one some day, so I’ll use my post as reference to prove I can up with it first. 

1) Yor isn’t just confused and clueless because she’s had a lack of social experience throughout her lifetime. She does lack a lot of social experience and context due to having to take care of Yuri as most of her upbringing being focused on learning how to be an assassin and a mother figure to her younger brother, but Yor is legitimately neurodivergent. I think this is great and I also think it shouldn’t have to be stated outright that Yor is possibly autistic and not as skilled at masking as most other neurodivergent women would be. There also needs to be more representation of neurodivergent characters like Yor in normal situations (or not so normal in reference to her Thorn Princess persona) because she is a very engaging and beloved character. 

2) Ostania and Westalis are definitely European countries in the 1960-1970s based on Cold War Europe and East and West Germany, this has been long established, but much of what you read in newspapers and textbooks, and in the background is in English. This is an alternate reality/history, so it can also be assumed that since ethnicities are never discussed, Westalian and Ostanian might only be nationalities. Principle are meant to stand out so of course their designs are more unique and pronounced than background characters, but Yor is the only one who bows and also bows used a manor to thank people for their hospitality, kindness, or taking good care of to his “co-workers.” Yor and Yuri are also the only characters with their same color schemes to include eye color (just as Anya is the only character of her variety to have her color scheme and her telepathic powers.) I believe that it is suppose to be hinted that Yor and Yuri are of Asian-European heritage, which is probably uncommon, but not entirely unusual in Ostania, so where as Yuri is treated more personably because he is man, Yor’s co-workers, Camilla, Sharon, and Millie, are such bitches to her not just because Yor is socially awkward, “former sex worker,” who is an “unmarried” woman at 27, but because and there is also underlying current of prejudice due to Yor’s heritage that no one wants to address as another reason for bullying. No matter how “progressive” Ostania may want to be seen as socially. (Also Yor’s beautiful and thicc and Camilla wishes she could, but that’s for a different post.)

3) Yuri “Sis Con” Briar has stated that he wants to protect his country, but will do anything to protect his sister. Anything. All the while hunting wanting to hunt down Twilight and W.I.S.E. because they are the State Security Service and Ostania’s true enemy. When Twilight is disguised as Foreign Minister Brantz and Yuri shows up as his escort, this is Twilight’s first encounter with Yuri while Twilight is in disguise. As Yor has now made friends with Melinda Desmond, Twilight is going to find himself more and more embroiled in Ostanian politics as he goes further and further into Operation Strix. Twilight will continue to find himself in situation in which he comes closer and closer to Yuri while in and out of disguise and he will eventually find himself in a situation where he can either kill Yuri and end any problems he might have to being exposed as Twilight, or he can allow reveal himself to Yuri and use his relationship with Yor to his advantage. Twilight, realizing that if he kills Yuri he could lose a valuable source of inside information, choses to exploit his circumstances and reveal his identity to Twilight to Yuri, threatening to kill Yuri if he doesn’t comply and convincing Yuri that Yor is safer with him as her husband than as a regular Ostanian citizen. Yuri, realizing that Yor being married to Twilight means she would be sparred of any turmoil or exploitation in a war, agrees to keep Loid’s true identity a secret in exchange for Yor’s protection and Secret Police intel. (Twilight would never admit his non-existent feelings for Yor stopped him from killing her brother, because it would damage any potential future between him and Yor, no never.)

4) A few years pass, and the Forgers are successfully beginning to infiltrate the Desmond’s inner circle. Slowly Twilight notices that Yor is spending more time with Melinda Desmond, which he encouraged at first (for the mission!), then he begins to notice a larger distance growing between him and his fake relationship. This does not sit well with him. Twilight begins to take matters into his own hands by doing recon only to eventually discover Thorn Princess. Twilight decides Yor’s identity must remain known only to him, so he can use it as a trump card (for the mission!) if he ever needs something to blackmail her with. Better yet, an assassin is an important asset to have on your side. Twilight has to secure Thorn Princess as an undisputed ally. Loid is going to have to seduce Yor and begin a long overdue sexual relationship with his wife. (For the mission? Yes, for the mission!)

5) Several more years pass as Yuri continues to rank up within the SSS, but he can only fly under the radar of Secret Police for so long before he hears rumors that he is going to be brought in under suspicion of being a traitor. Yuri abandons everything and Twilight takes him to a safehouse. Yuri defects to Westalis and is taken in by W.I.S.E. as an informant after excruciating and strenuous mental and physical testing, evaluation, and psychological examination. Twilight vouches for him, Handler is pissed, Yuri gets placed under Nightfall for training. Nightfall is livid, but agrees. A now 12 year old Anya experiences all of this going on in the background as Twilight is thinking through his plans and solutions. Anya tells Twilight he can’t play off Yuri’s desertion from Ostania as a disappearance and hide it from Yor. That he needs to tell Yor the truth. For the first time, the Forger family has to reveal their true selves to each other and Twilight and Yor have to come to terms with the fact that Anya has known everything all along. 

6) As Operation Strix closes in Donovan Desmond is put under public scrutiny and suspicion. Could the head of the National Unity Party be responsible for the engineered murders of other Ostanian political leaders? Leaked documents about political assassinations. Leaked documents about conferences with intentions to begin a war with the Westalis? Damian Desmond, now in his early teens, is going to have to come to terms with who is parents really are and if their actions are forgivable. 

7) After Operation Strix ceases, “Loid Forger” “abandons” his second wife and teenage daughter. Twilight guarantees his age forces his retirement from undercover fieldwork in a few years time. Anya graduates from Eden, turns 18, and is recruited by Garden to be trained and work alongside Yor as an assassin. Anya struggles with her relationship with Damian that has slowly grown less antagonistic over the years, but still has guilt over being responsible for the capture and political trial of his parents. Yor tells her that it is for the greater good and only Anya can make her own decisions about what to do. Can she live forever without being able to tell him, but still be in a relationship with him. Bond, growing old, but still very much lively has a brief flash of Becky being recruited into Garden as well, leaving it up to Anya to figure out what this means for her future and her friendship with her bestie who she never imaged in this sort of lifestyle. 

8) Twilight returns to his wife and daughter now working as an informant for wise, based out of Ostania. The Forgers finally get the happy ending they deserve. 

9) The story goes on with Anya, Becky, and Damian’s complicated ass lives. (I’m not saying I ship them, but why do I have this odd feeling that we’re going to get a Yuri/Nightfall romance sometime by the end of Spy X Family. I feel like they would just be thrown together no context, and not in story that I am envisioning in my theories.)

#spy x family #twiyor #loidyor #loid x yor #yor forger #loid forger #anya forger #spy x family theory #spy x family headcanons #yuri briar #ostania #westalis #operation strix #damian desmond #becky blackbell #bond spy x family #thorn princess #tasogare #ibara hime #fiona frost #spy x family nightfall #the forgers #i wrote this instead of participating in takaritsu week #I can still do takaristu week #it is 3am in japan and i have work tomorrow what am i doing with my life #this is brilliant fanfic material #credit me if you use this please #i should have written this #maybe i will write this fic #if the manga doesn't go this way i will be surprised

[dinoace2]

Back and Forth

Anyone else make self-indulgent fics, writing themselves into scenes to try and salvage the situation that had just happened? No? That's a me thing? Ok cool

⚠️⚠️⚠️!!!!!JJK SEASON 2 SPOILERS AHEAD! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!!⚠️⚠️⚠️

Anyway I love Nanami he is my favorite and he deserved better and I sobbed for 2 hours after all that.

The fic surrounds the reader(me lol), a childhood friend of Nanami, born to the inumaki clan but struggled to accept her position. She saw the danger in Shibuya and couldn't simply stand by, so here we are.

>3k words, Angst throughout, but happy(?) and peaceful ending. Segments in italics are memories throughout their past, and the one bolded paragraph is that natrator who explains stuff occasionally. Only kinda proofread ish so if there's grammar issues I am sorry

TW: I feel as though this should be obvious but blood and death will be a recurring thing here. Also she vomits like 3 times

Characters mentioned/involved: reader, Nanami, Mahito, Itadori, Arata Nitta, Shoko, Yaga, and Toge Inumaki.

(Character doesn't know all of these people by name so she describes them, and it is first person so here's the reference list:

Mahito is the stitched man, itadori is the pink-haired kid, Arata is the blonde kid, Shoko is the woman with the cigarette, and Yaga is the man with the sunglasses.)

Ok let's go

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I shrugged, scrawling out another note on the pad in my lap, then held it out for my friend to read, trying my best to hold it still.

'It isnt that I don't WANT to help people. It's just a lot of pressure, you know? There's thousands of sorcerers out there...surely one can't make a massive difference in the grand scheme of things.'

Nanami looked at the scribble, deciphering my familiar chicken scratch with ease. "I suppose you have a point...and I certainly can't make you do anything but...all I can do is make recommendations. You're incredibly strong, you know that? If you actually put your mind to it...you really could do incredible things with your skills." He smiled, reaching for my hand. "Im sure the higher-ups would still be willing to make you an official sorcerer if you wanted."

I sighed, scribbling another response.

'Yes, but, that's the thing. I don't really WANT to be special or incredible, you know that. I have enough trouble in crowds as it is.'

I paused from my writing and touched my lips, my fingers gently grazing the tattoos on either side of my mouth. I was given these markings when I was way too young to properly have a choice. They're practically a burden as they are, sealing me to a responsibility I never asked for.

'I'll exorcise a minor curse if I happen to run into one, but I really don't see much need in becoming a big fighter like you or Geto or Gojo.'

He let out a sigh, nodding slowly as he looked back at me. "Yes...youre right. I understand."

Of course he does. He's the one who gets it more than anyone else.

He stood up to leave, his seat swaying in his absence, and I crumpled up our conversation, feeling at the paper beneath my fingers. I didn't know it then, but that was the last time we would meet on those old swings.

I wish I were as strong and brave as you,

"KENTO!"

My voice came out in a shrill shreik, cracking and breaking as I shouted a name that no longer had an owner. the lower half of his body crumpled to the floor, much to the glee of the strange figure standing over him. It was instantaneous, one moment he was standing there, and the next...? I couldn't even comprehend what had just happened.

~~~

It was halloween. I had been minding my business when I sensed a massive concentration of cursed energy near Shibuya. Whatever was over there, it was bad. I fought with myself for a long while. Surely the sorcerers could handle it. Surely everything would be fine, it always ended up that way anyway, especially with all the powerful guardians Japan has. I can stay put. What need would they have for a half-rate excuse of a sorcerer who feared her own voice anyway? Its fine.

I froze when I heard the voice. Some kid – no older than fifteen or so – stood at a rooftop, shouting something. I had initially paused because I recognized the name he was screaming to, but my heart sank when I heard what came next.

"NANAMI! NANAMI, WE NEED YOUR HELP! GOJO HAS BEEN SEALED!"

Gojo? As in...the Gojo? How could that-?

I'm not sure why or how but at that point my mind was made up. I changed into something more practical, pulled a mask over my mouth, and left my home to face the very thing I fled from decades ago.

~~~

The train station was nearly silent as I ran through it, sneaking around to avoid confrontation as much as I could.

I heard fighting in one of the terminals, and sensed a massive cursed force, spread out across possibly hundreds of vessels. What the hell...? And...with every hit, every grunt, every sound I heard, it was getting fewer. There was only one sorcerer in there, yet he was...taking on an army. On his own...

When I got closer I finally recognized who i was hearing. Nanami. Of course he was able to take on that much. He's always been strong, so of course this would be no different. I haven't spoken to him in years...maybe after this we can take more time to reconnect. The thought made me smile.

~~~

It was a nice day...we were all too young to be worried about anything...too young to care. I was sitting on the swings with one of my dearest friends, talking over the creak of the old chains. I had recently participated in an incredible family ceremony, and I was so excited for the life ahead of me.

"Grampa called it..um...cursed speak!" I said, my smile bigger than ever as I pointed to the marks on my chubby little cheeks. "I can tell people what to do and they'll do it! Even those ghost thingies that not everyone can see!" I giggled. "I wonder if I can make Mommy clean my room."

My friend chuckled. "Alright, just don't do it to me, okay?"

I nodded. "Okay, Ken! I promise I wont." I put on the most innocent little smile I could. "Youve always done stuff for me anyways, right?"

~~~

As I made it to the terminal, I was frozen in place. It was nearly devoid of life, the demolished corpses of mutated figures piled on the ground around a single person. That was him, wasn't it? Nanami Kento, one of the strongest, most composed men I had ever met, but...he was badly injured, half his torso mutilated, most likely by fire, and he was covered in blood and wounds beyond which I had ever even considered possible. I was so taken aback by the sight that I hardly paid any notice to the stitched-up man that approached him. I heard them speak, only for a brief moment. Nanami turned his gaze to a child who had walked in on the other side and muttered something i couldn't quite hear...

And then he was gone.

"KENTO!"

My cry, unexpected to even me, caught the attention of the man with the stitches. He looked at me, lips peeled back in a too-wide grin.

"Ohhh! You must be a friend of his! I don't think anyone's mentioned you before, so you must be new!" He giggled, stalking forward as more grotesque figures rose around him. "How would you like to join him?!"

For a moment I couldn't move, and in fact it looked like everything was moving in slow motion.

~~~

The same playground, the same people, the same swings. Just...a different time in our lives. We were both stronger, smarter, but still just kids.

"Man, we're gonna be so strong together! And we'll get to hang out so much, too! The academy said we would be in the same class!" I grinned. "Can't wait to beat you up in school! For a grade!" I laughed, feeling the wind on my pale hair as I swung.

Nanami nodded, the same grin on his lips. "I think youve got it wrong, if you think im gonna lose!"

We laughed for a while, until I was brought to an abrupt stop by rough hands on my back. A different kid, much bigger than me, shoved me out of my seat. Another look told me he wasn't a sorcerer, nor did he have any idea what we were capable of. "Youve been on the swings long enough, kid. I've decided it's my turn." He snickered as Nanami ran to my side, helping me up.

I glared at the boy, slightly shaken by the interruption. "H-hey...what was that for?"

He smirked. "Aww, what's the matter? Gonna cry?" He snickered as he took my seat, and I felt Kento's hands ball into fists at my side. "Hey! You better leave her alone!" He growled.

The boy crossed his arms. "Wow, someone's touchy. Why, is she your girlfriend?" He chuckled as Nanami's face went a few shades of red. "I dunno why you'd even wanna be with her anyway. She's got...weird tattoos all over her mouth, like some kinda delinquent who went to jail! Or maybe some circus freak!" His laughter only got louder, and Nanami began to growl as my shoulders shook from humiliation, tears beginning to blur my vision.

My lip quivered but I planted my feet, glaring at the boy in front of me. "Just....go AWAY!" I shouted. The realization hit as soon as the words left my lips, and I clapped a hand over my mouth, but the damage was done.

The boy was flung, almost cartoonishly, forced away as if some invisible monster had thrown him by the ankle. He hit the ground with a hard thud as concerned parents started running over.

I was frozen, I couldn't speak, couldn't think. I did that? Such level of power and destruction, quite literally at the tip of my tongue, and I just....did that?

I didn't talk much after that.

Decided that school wasn't really my thing, either.

~~~

I stared at the approaching man, and the dozens of mutilated human corpses surrounding him. Just how strong was this guy? How could he have done that to Nanami without a second thought? Too much coursed through my head, but one thing was clear.

He wouldn't be continuing.

I pulled down my mask, taking in a deep breath. My lip trembled, my chest shook, and my hands balled into fists.

"Shatter."

All at once, the bodies before me froze, trembling as massive cracks grew up from their feet. They cracked like glass yet their flesh made creaking, squelching noises as they began to break.

In a single, simultaneous moment, every single transmutated monstrosity exploded, a mess of blood, flesh, and gore unlike anything I'd ever seen before. My eyes widened, and my hands shook as I stared on at what remained.

The recoil hit me like a truck, my entire body feeling as if it were about to explode. I doubled over as vomit and blood poured out of my mouth with a pained retch. My throat felt hollow, and my chest felt as if it had been torn open. I could only cough and wheeze and whimper, leaning on the wall to remain upright. In my current state I didn't even notice what had happened right in front of me.

The pieces of the stitched man began to stretch and grow, reforming into his original shape. He looked at me with a twisted grin, slowly stalking toward me.

"Oh! I didn't know you were a cursed speech user! You didn't look like one at first!" I couldn't move as he approached. "But from those markings...youre an Inumaki, huh?" He chuckled.

"Wow....dyed your hair, got a mask on....you must have really wanted to be discreet! Almost like you –" he gasped in false shock, grinning ear to ear. "– Abandoned your clan like a little traitor~! That's fun! I'm all about forging your own path and stuff."

He smirked as he came face to face with my frozen, shaking form. "You abandoned your clan, then came running back to the battlefield to avenge a friend of yours! It would have been noble if it wasn't in vain." He snickered. "Youll die for nothing! How does that make you feel?" He cupped his ear, as though to listen for a response, then cackled. "After a shout like that, you'd be lucky if you could even whisper in the future! I'd expect your vocal cords to be in shreds at this point." He gasped, overcome with an idea. "Ooh, you know what would be even better?! If you went crawling back to your family yourself!"

He grabbed my chin. "I'm in a good mood right about now. So here's how it's going to go. I'll let you walk out of here on your own two feet, so you can stumble on back to that clan of yours and play charades with them until they realize you're their biggest failure of your generation!" He grinned, releasing me and turning toward the pink-haired kid who still stood shocked in the doorway. "Ta-ta now~, better get out of here before I change my mind."

My mind was reeling despite the fact that I couldn't move. This...this curse...had the audacity to tell me to run, with my tail between my legs? To flee, with empty hands, regardless of what more I could do? This thing had the temerity to tell me what to do?

Is that not what I've been trying to avoid my whole life?

~~~

"Incredible," he breathed, astonished. "Youre getting stronger, even if you don't know it." Nanami smiled, sitting on the old swing as I stood in front of him, arms raised as i finished demonstrating an odd move i had come up with and practiced. "Not a lot of people can even comprehend the idea of learning a new cursed technique, yet here you are, creating one of your very own. Impressive work, especially for someone with hardly any formal training."

I grabbed the notepad in my pocket, quickly scrawling a response.

'Its entirely possible that formal training would have suppressed this. If all are taught the general systems, it'll be hard to remain an individual.'

He chuckled. "I guess it's possible. But schooling aside, you really have become something special. Keep honing that skill...keep being you, and I bet you'll one day do something incredible, even if you don't see it. Even now, you found a workaround to vent out your cursed energy without using cursed speech."

I smiled, sitting in the empty swing next to him. I pressed one more folded note into his hand, gently swinging forward and back.

'No matter what I do, and how long we spend apart, you always support me. You give me confidence and let me feel like I can really....do something. And it's something that I want that you always encourage. I never feel forced around you. I suppose I want to say I'm glad you've always stuck by my side. I'm really glad you're my friend.'

Nanami smiled softly then reached over to take my hand, interlacing our fingers.

"Of course. I'm glad you're my friend too."

~~~

I scowled at the curse as he walked away, raising my hands in front of me as I pooled whatever cursed energy I had left into my palms. One hand raised to my eye level, and the other drew back, as though pulling the string of an invisible bow. I could only mouth the words as I conjured my power.

"Cursed technique: toybox."

Toybox: a cursed technique designed and used solely by a forsaken and forgotten member of the Inumaki clan. Playing into the often-overlooked yet highly versatile arsenal of a children's imagination, Toybox allowed its user to concentrate portions of her cursed energy into a physical form, most often taking the shape of a pointed arrowhead or the length of a blade. None could see this "weaponry" aside from the user herself, hence the reference to imagination and childrens' toys.

I took careful aim, seeking to strike the curse at its core. I had one shot at this, and in it, I poured every last bit of power I had left. With a shaky breath and a steady hand, I released the grip that was pulled back, sending the equivalent of a cursed bullet flying at the stitched man.

He was still for a moment, looking down at the sizeable hole in his chest.

His head twisted around unnaturally, only grinning as the wound sealed shut. "Oh dear. I gave you your chance. This simply won't do." He walked back toward me. "You keep distracting me from the person I actually want to kill! And I'm getting tired of wasting my time." He smiled lazily, shrugging. "Buuut, you certainly don't have anything left now. I can tell. You're all out!" He chuckled, as the aftershock of losing so much energy finally hit me like a brick wall.

Almost as if on cue, I clutched my stomach as more blood and bile rose from my throat, and he snickered. With a swift hit to the legs he made my knees buckle, sending me all too quickly to the floor. My head struck tile with a thud, and I'm sure I heard a crack. My vision blurred and my breath hitched, and I couldn't even flinch when his foot sunk into my gut, only drawing forth more blood and vomit.

The man above me sneered. "Youre a pest. And you aren't even worth my time. You were born weak, you lived a coward, and you'll die a failure. Now, instead of dealing with you swiftly like I should have, we're going to find out if it takes longer for you to bleed out, or choke on your own vomit like a wounded dog."

I could only watch as he walked away, gasping, shaking, and unable to move. No matter what I tried, no matter what I wanted to do, I remained still, feeling utterly broken and worthless. My vision was fading, my body beginning to shut down. I heard muffled conversation between the curse and the boy, before it all...stopped.

~~~

My eyes shut tight. Why didn't I feel anything? Why didn't it...hurt? I flinched as I felt a hand on my shoulder, instinctively pulling away and sitting upright. My jaw dropped when I saw him.

"K....Kento...?"

I couldn't believe it. There he was, kneeling in front of me, his blonde hair almost falling in his eyes. He smiled softly, holding out his hand. "...i dont think ive heard you say my name in a long time...did you miss me, by any chance?"

I didn't take his hand, but instead sprung from my spot into his arms, hugging him tightly. My body shook as tears stung my eyes, so many words I never said all rising to the surface.

So much to say, so many questions, so many words, yet the only thing that fell past my lips was, "I'm sorry."

He brushed a strand of hair over my ear, his smile never fading. "Whatever for? I couldn't be prouder of you."

That only caused me to choke on a sob, shaking my head as I buried my face in his chest. "B-but I couldn't fight him...I didn't do anything, I didn't help anyone...." my hands clenched. "I-i failed."

He shook his head, pulling me up to look at him. "My dear, you gave your all to defend a purpose. And I've known you practically our whole lives. Your existence was not in vain...and I can promise that others will agree. I promise, I will never be disappointed in you."

The tears that fell next were of a different kind. "...heh...you always knew how to make me feel better, Ken..."

He smiled, and I paused as I felt his lips press against my forehead. "Of course. Don't you remember? I always do stuff for you." He chuckled, watching my cheeks flush at the memory. I took a deep breath, trying to organize my thoughts. Of any possible chance, surely this was the best one I had to say it.

"Kento...you've been...my best friend and my closest ally....our whole lives. My greatest support and beloved confidant..." I whispered, taking his hands. "I love you, Nanami Kento, I always have. I....I know it's far too late to have said anything, and I should have done something better, or-or gone to you sooner, but-"

I was cut off by a calloused hand cupping my cheek, pulling me into the most gentle, loving kiss, like the kind from books that one could only dream for.

He smiled. "Im glad I could hear you say it. It probably would have been awkward if we had to make this exchange with handwritten notes," he chuckled. The off comment made me giggle, and I hugged him again. He simply held me to his chest, wordless, just allowing time to pass.

We spent what felt like hours in each other's arms, exchanging questions and catching up on every detail.

I didn't want to move, didn't want to leave this incredible, impossible moment. Despite the situation, despite what all just happened, I felt...peaceful. Safe. Almost...alive. Nothing else mattered right now.

All of a sudden, i...felt like I was being pulled. As if I was beginning to be torn away from Nanami's arms. He looked down at me, noticing the invisible force.

"Kento, what...what's happening?" I whispered, clinging to him now with more strength.

He...he smiled, brushing back my hair and pressing a kiss to my forehead. "...looks like it's not quite your time yet. You get to keep going."

Fresh tears sprung to my eyes and I shook my head, burying my face in his chest. "N-no, I....I can't...I can't go back...I can't face them...I can't do anything..."

Our embrace was short-lived, and I cried out as I was dragged away.

~~~

"Im getting a response! She's coming back!"

"Easy now, don't overwhelm her."

"Who is she anyway?"

"Im not sure. She's got the marks of the Inumaki, but she doesn't have a sorcerer ID and any other form of identification seems to imply she changed her name."

"Alright, don't interrogate her now, I think she's waking up!"

My eyes squeezed tight, my head was pounding. I heard a lot of voices, too much sound to pay attention to any one thing.

Much as I didn't want to, I opened my eyes, blinking a few times to adjust to the light. I was surrounded by people, unfamiliar faces, their gazes all boring into me. I felt like I wanted to disappear.

A blonde boy looked at the others, standing close to me. "I found her near where Nanami was...i-i mean, I wasn't completely sure if she was going to survive but if there was a chance, it seemed worth trying." He turned to me. "Are you feeling alright?" I shrugged, only able to let out a pained sigh. He nodded. "Yeah, i..I bet. All things considered, you don't look too badly injured per se...a couple of cracked ribs...might have a mild concussion from falling...but most of your state seemed to come from a near total drain of cursed energy. What happened?"

I opened my mouth to speak, tried to do something, anything, but the only noise that came out was a creaky, broken groan. My hands reached to my neck, at this point only trying to make a sound. I hadn't spoken in years, but now that I couldn't? Oh god. The only sound that came from my mouth were shaky gasps and raspy hisses.

The boy nodded. "Considering the state you were in, I wouldn't be shocked if your vocal cords are damaged beyond use...here." he pulled out his phone, then held it out to me with the notes app open. I sat up, taking the device and beginning to type, beginning with telling them my name.

'Nanami was an old friend of mine. I might technically be a sorcerer but I left that behind for personal reasons. I saw the veil around Shibuya, though, and i couldn't bring myself to ignore it, especially after I heard that kid yelling about Gojo. I got there when I could, dispatched the transmutated humans and minor curses that I saw as I ran toward the threat. I found that patched-up...thing standing over him, but I couldn't move fast enough to stop it. I used my cursed speech on him but...its almost like I didn't do anything at all.'

I sighed, handing the phone back to him to read. He nodded, relaying the message to the others; a woman in a white coat with a cigarette, and a man with spiky hair, a goatee, and dark, angled sunglasses. They both looked...vaguely familiar, but I couldn't place it at the moment.

The woman frowned. "...an Inumaki girl who was friends with Nanami? I do remember someone like that...she hung out a lot less after a non-sorcerer got badly injured, though. Must've been you." At her words I shrunk into myself, and she nodded as her suspicions were confirmed. "But...you came back. That shows a lot more about you than you realize." She smiled a little, tapping her cigarette. "Takes a lot of courage to do that."

I turned to the boy, reaching out my hand, and he gave me the phone again.

'I never wanted a life like this. If I could've removed my tattoos and just...lived, like a normal person, I absolutely would have. But it's not like I could have ignored a veil that big and an aura that dark.'

I frowned.

'Not like it really mattered anyway. I didn't save anyone, and nearly killed myself in the process. I'm useless. The only thing I did here was cause another casualty.'

The boy read my note and shook his head. "Thats not exactly true. There were remnants of your cursed energy all around that room. Those things all over the place were transmutated humans, bodies crushed and mutilated to that curse's desired form, yet not permitted to die. Your cursed speech laid dozens of suffering, frightened, pained people to rest. It's a hard thing to think about, but...you saved them."

I stared at him, my eyes wide and lip quivering. I...saved them? How could that have been possible, with the image of such gore, such suffering etched into my mind? It doesn't seem right.

"More than that, I sensed your energy that came from something else. It was strong, concentrated. Do you have another cursed technique outside of your speech?" He asked, simple curiosity in his tone. Not accusational, not upset, just wishing to know. At my slight nod he smiled. "Then...you could still help people. Er- if you wanted to, that is. I don't mean to sound like I'm forcing you."

I took his phone and typed another response.

'I don't know yet, if I'm being honest. There's a lot to take in right now. All I ask right now is, if you can, don't tell Toge I'm here. I don't know if he remembers me, but I'm not sure if I can face him.'

As if the curse of fate decided to play yet another cruel joke, I heard a gasp from behind me. A pale-haired boy stared at me, eyes wide. I couldn't see his mouth under the high collar of his jacket, but I could tell exactly who he was. To my surprise he wasn't gawking at the markings on my lips, but looking at me, with a certain level of recognition in his eyes. I couldn't tell quite what emotion he was feeling, nor what he felt about seeing me after so long.

I never wanted to speak more desperately than I did in that moment. He was so...so small when I left. So young. I'm not sure he even knew why I had gone. I opened my mouth to speak, begging and pleading that I could just get one word out.

My lips moved to a silent voice, tears falling down my cheeks. "Toge, I-"

He didn't even let me try to continue, and I felt myself enveloped in the tightest, most caring hug I had gotten in years. A soundless sob shook in my chest as I clung to him with all I had. My mouth moved over and over again, repeating 'I'm sorry' and 'forgive me' endlessly. The man in the sunglasses chuckled. "Looks like someone missed you."

I couldn't believe it. After everything, after all this time, I was simply...welcomed? Forgiven? After my shortcomings, my failures, my pain, I could still...do something? Be something? No one was upset, and instead it seemed they...or at least Toge, was happy to see me. Despite the tragedy, despite all the suffering...it was like I still meant something. This sense of belonging, of support, everyone had everyone's backs, and everyone was working toward a common goal: making the world a safer place.

When toge let go of me, I picked up the phone one more time, typing a final message with a smile. This level of enthusiasm was something I hadn't felt since I was little, and I was almost relieved to have it back again. I handed the device back to its owner, and he read it aloud to the woman and man, each with a knowing smile on their face.

"How do I come back?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fin.

Thanks for reading :]

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fanfic #jujutsu sorcerer #jujutsu kaisen nanami #nanami kento #jjk nanami #jjk spoilers #nanami x reader

[hmsharmony]

5. 10. 19.

Apologies in advance for this having nothing to do with Spider-Man until 19. 😬

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

Merlin/Arthur how I loathe thee. The racism and misogyny I had to witness (e.g., petition to replace Angel with Colin when she was scheduled to do an interview with Bradley). I began the show shipping everyone in the core four (although Arthur/Gwen was my OTP), but the treatment of Gwen by many Merthur shippers soured me on the ship. The final nail in the coffin was when a friend, an Arthur/Merlin shipper, found out I shipped Arthur/Gwen and expressed disgust. Fuck that.

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

The one that immediately comes to mind (which will not come as a shock to anyone who was around in 2011/2012) is Merlin’s “Gwen is enchanted to kiss zombie!Lancelot the night of her wedding, Arthur finds them, and he banishes her from Camelot on pain of death because ‘I don’t want to see you dead but I don’t want to see you.’”

A few things that fill me with rage to this day:

zero agency for Gwen (who never finds out she was enchanted the actual fuck!!!);

Arthur using his power as king to deal with a personal issue;*

Gwen going through literal hell on her own (taken captive and visuals/language making clear her captor plans to sexually assault her; escaping when she discovers her captor is working with Morgana and they plan to harm Camelot so even though she can’t return ON PAIN OF DEATH she makes her way back anyway; almost freezing to death during said journey; getting chased down by Morgana, who knocks her out and turns her into a DEER while Arthur is going on a hunting party with a prospective bride; said woman SHOOTING DEER GWEN WITH AN ARROW)

Gwen saying she has what she deserves when she tells Merlin she can’t return to Camelot because she betrayed Arthur;

Arthur finding her ring in the middle of the forest and not wondering WHY it was there or if she’s okay; and

an underwhelming resolution where everything is swept under the rug and they IMMEDIATELY GET MARRIED DESPITE THERE CLEARLY BEING MAJOR TRUST ISSUES AND GWEN MOST DEFINITELY HAVING PTSD WHAT ARE YOU DOING

(Bonus Gwen saying she can’t forgive herself and Arthur saying he doesn’t care I am still livid and it has been more than a decade let Gwen have negative feelings!!!)

Took me literal years to love that ship again because of this storyline.

*It would have been much more interesting if it had been framed as “it’s either saving the woman you love or upholding the law” like they did in Camelot. The show (claimed) to be in large part about how Arthur would create a new, fair Camelot (lmao). They missed a perfect chance to have him wrestle with what that means and the sort of king he wanted to be. I kind of played with that in the spec fic I wrote for 4x09, but to this day I want so much more.

19. What is one thing you hate most about your fandom?

I want to preface this by saying that, because of previous fandom experiences (including the infamous Harry Potter ship wars during my formative years), I was careful to cultivate my Spider-Man fandom experience from the get-go. My first couple years I literally only talked to existing friends who also loved PeterMJ (save for one fanvid I made in late 2019, but really I was just thanking people for commenting). It’s only in the past ~year I started interacting with new people, and even then I’m still very careful about expanding my bubble. So I’ve insulated myself pretty well, and I mostly have only secondhand knowledge of the horrendous side of this fandom (versus my merlin days where I would explore outside my bubble and see so much fucked up shit, usually of the racism variety).

With that out of the way: this is so minor in the scheme of things, but whenever someone calls MCU PeterMJ a slow burn I want to rip my face off. I love these kids but what they had was the exact opposite of a slow burn. And it’s not because it was done in one movie—When Harry Met Sally is 100% a slow burn in my book, and yes, the focus is that relationship, but there WERE things homecoming or far from home could have done. Not putting in the work to establish an existing relationship and instead going straight to Peter liking her is not a slow burn. (Now the way they hinted at MJ’s feelings in Homecoming? That was slow burn potential. Would’ve killed for something similar for Peter. And I say this as someone who had the biggest goddamn smile on her face everything they interacted when I first saw Far From Home.)

Salty Ask Game

#Merlin s4 #in all its shame #shipping: arthur and gwen #clearly never over s4 because look at the caps lock #Harry potter mention for the blacklist #spiderman (mcu) #shipping: peter and mj #it’s been so long since I did a good nice rant #I feel freed

[jabbage]

#Letters from Watson #lettersfromwatson

[bimboviolence]

questions 1 through 5 for any self insert you feel like talking about! :]

Oh ur a legend thank u for indulging me, l'm of course doin my self insert into the dr*amworks fantasy magic world who's with Jack

1. what are the basics of your self insert? name, date of birth, height, etc.?

NAME: Devin Of Hell

GENDER: non-binary, They/Them (also accepts She/Her)

SEXUALITY: very bisexual

DATE OF BIRTH: June 15

HEIGHT: 5’7

My character is a magic user who bound their heart and mind to a demon (we r girly bffs and talk mentally almost all the time) and together they conjure nightmares in peoples heads for cash, it's like a hitman type thing but the target doesn't die they just can have their mind warped to believe things or be made afraid of things. We could do some really extreme shit with Bills mind hopping and altering abilities, but he's at a point in his existence where he does not wanna fuck with large scale shit. (he hath experienced death and does not wanna do THAT whole ordeal over again) and I simply have no interest in anything that could force me out of the shadows. I love being mysterious.

There's wanted posters for my character but they don't have pictures, just info that there's an evil wizard woman and a magic triangle poisoning dreams and warping minds, and to contact with any info (it's a really long shot for a wanted poster, most ppl who actually read it think it's a joke)

2. when in canon does your self insert come in? do you have a scene in mind for your entrance?

I do not view myself as a part of an actual movie plotline in any way, I just wanna insert myself into the world itself so not REALLY ever, I guess in terms of the movie years prior (cause then jacks alive LOL)

3. how do the other characters generally feel about your self insert?

I think I would be generally liked by people who don't know my evil deeds, I have a sadistic side but l'm polite and charismatic, so l'm truly one of those villains who'd be so nice the hero might go 'oh god I forgot this person manipulates minds and has no issue with murder.’ Which I WILL say this fictional version of me in this villainy narrative would be a lot more nasty than I am in real life, this character doesn't blink at violence and crime and finds specifically evil power extremely enticing.

So I genuinely think it'd be a 50/50 if a character would like nice Dev or hate evil Dev. Cant help being a Gemini!!

4. would you be considered a main character, side character, villain, or something else?

I am absolutely not a main character, l'm like side villain who shows up sometimes to assist if I’m asked, but usually fucks off cause I have my own thing going on, and I'm really not interested in stopping the heroes of a story or anything like that. I'm not interested in no large scale schemes, just having a good time.

5. does your self insert have any special powers or abilities?

I do not I am a standard human being with a highschool diploma and a song in my heart but because I am psychic linked to a chaos demon I can benefit from what he's able to do. I can Do magic spells and I have a small bank of knowledge on how to make a handful of potions without a recipe (or they're scribbled on stained post it notes that I keep in my wallet). My character also dabbles in Creating spells but they don't go super well often because that takes a lot of work and I give up easily LOL

#bill is in everything with me that’s just how it is #THANKS FOR ASKING!!! this was fun for me #doodles #sorceress of hell