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#i'm not ready for her to go

astrhae · 6 months

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"she was my best friend in the whole wide universe. i absolutely love her. oh. mmm. do i say things like that now? she's so ordinary, she's brilliant." currently going absolutely feral over donna noble, temp from chiswick, making the same choice over and over again, and holding the doctor to his mark over and over again. donna noble who, in the fires of pompeii, made that choice to sacrifice pompeii for the world --- who saw her world burn around her just as the doctor saw gallifrey burn around him

donna noble who made the doctor save just someone. who still chose to be kind and brave and human and loving even in her grief and heartbreak -- donna who crashes back into the doctor's life for a third time and shows him through her choices that this is the doctor. not a god, just someone ordinary. someone scared and flawed and fallible, but someone who ultimately tries anyway. someone who despite and in spite and because of the broken world still cares enough to try and save it

and the doctor. the doctor, who doesn't know who he really is anymore, who spent the past hundreds of years without donna -- the doctor, who said virtue is virtue in extremis. without witness and without reward -- he finally tells her, no.

no, this isn't who the doctor is. this is who donna turned the doctor into. this is who he is because of her. and it's finally time to make amends

#the doctor is SO PROUD of the DoctorDonna #because she's the best parts of humanity and the best parts of time lord #and i'm quite sure that the doctor holds himself to HER standards #it's both so jarring and welcome to see this new doctor be so OPEN and honest with his affection #this was supposed to be silly gifset but watch me cry over them for the next week #doctor who #the star beast #my edits #doctor who spoilers #donna noble #dwedit #dailydw #catherine tate #david tennant #tvedit #i have ISSUES with the “letting go” because i'm not ready #to let go of a decade worth of trauma from s4 #but akdhdhdhdhk this scene and its parallels to pompeii has me by the throat

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notsosecretlyalesbian · 1 year

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"At a time when my life felt scattered and incomplete, the fantasy world of The Parent Trap, and the warm and maternal presence of Chessy, provided me with a dream of gluing the pieces of it together. The film, though not explicitly queer, still provides a sort of utopia of queer acceptance, connection and love. [...] Some days I still think that maybe all I need is a hug from Lisa Ann Walter and I will be all right." - Michael Elias (x)

Lisa Ann Walter as Chessy in The Parent Trap (1998)

#chessy #lisa ann walter #the parent trap #filmgifs #filmedit #my gifs #i love her so so much #she'll always be my comfort character #and oh gOD i'd kill to get a hug from Lisa she seems like she gives great hugs #she could fix me #also my GOD making these gave me a headache because of the colors i'm never giffing old movies again LOL #also tomorrow we go back to Melissa posts at night it's already up and ready on the queue didn't want to post two gifsets so close together #notsosecretlyalesbian.gifs #notsosecretlyalesbian.law.gifs #notsosecretlyalesbian

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lgbtlunaverse · 1 month

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I think if marcille opened her mind a little beyond her mild butchphobia she'd honestly find postcanon more masc-presenting Falin SO hot like... Falin travelling the world and bringing her gifts from faraway countries, climbing in through her window late at night upon return to see her before anyone else. Literally the prince of Marcille's dreams if only she could see it. She's not quite there yet but she'll get it eventually I believe in her.

#dungeon meshi #farcille #falin touden #marcille donato #let's be clear Falin is not butch YET but she could be and I think she wants to #also marcille doesn't really hate butches she just has the elf-typical predisposition to femininity generally #and falin-resembling-laios trauma specifically #but at the end of canon we see her aware of how tightly she's been holding onto falin and ready to let go a little #not love her less! just... not try to shield or baby her anymore #and so i'm confident she'll make peace with the gender thing too and WHEN SHE DOES... ohohoho #marcille is about to experience attraction in shrimp colours

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agentark · 4 months

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trying to enjoy my silly little time traveling sci-fi show while clara and the doctor say the most devastating things to and about each other every other episode like my god

If the Doctor is still the Doctor, he will have my back.

Clara, I'm not your boyfriend. // I never thought you were. // I never said it was your mistake.

Please, just...Just see me.

Do you think I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?

Clara, I'm terribly sorry, but I'm exactly what you deserve.

There was one other man. But it would've never worked out. He was impossible.

When do I not see you?

Die with whoever comes after me, you do not leave me.

I don't care about your rules, or your bloody survivor's guilt. If you love me in any way, you'll come back.

Immortality isn't living forever, that's not what it feels like. Immortality is everybody else dying. She might meet someone she can't bear to lose. That happens, I believe.

I let Clara Oswald get inside my head, trust me, she doesn't leave.

Longest month of my life. // It could only have been five minutes. // I'll be the judge of time.

I will die, and no one else here or anywhere will suffer. // What about me?

Everything you're about to say, I already know. don't do it now, we've already had enough bad timing.

Don't run. Stay with me.

I was lost a long time ago, she was saving you.

If you think because she is dead I'm weak, then you understand very little. If you were any part of killing her and you're not afraid, then you understand nothing at all.

The day you lose someone isn't the worst...it's all the days they stay dead.

I'd know you anywhere.

What were you bargaining for? // What do you think? You.

If she says so.

I had a duty of care.

People like me and you, we should say things to one another.

Look how far I went, for fear of losing you.

You said "memories become stories when we forget them." Maybe some of them become songs.

hand in unlovable hand

#also of course any iteration of 'my clara'#or that line in before the flood where bennett is like 'youre just doing this to save clara' and the doctor is like 'yeah? and?'#like even w/ 11 we start to see just how far the doctor will go for her but 12 really drops the pretense that he cares about anyone but her #just finished a rewatch of Clara's episodes and feeling the entire spectrum of human emotion about them #may I one day experience a love half as insane as theirs #clara jumping into his time stream means they have 900+ years of inextricably linked history whether they know it or not like....#yeah i'd be unhinged about you too #everyone say 'thank you missy' for bringing these two together and nearly causing the destruction of the universe #doctor who #clara oswald #doctorclara #I'm not ready to start Bill's episodes what happens to her makes me physically ill #twelveclara

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egophiliac · 11 months

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We ARE going to bring up Captain Amelia. You have good taste! GOOD TASTE I SAY! *aka I just rewatched Treasure Planet and got hit with, "Oh yeahhhhh... that explains a lot!"*

honestly, the Meg/Jasmine/Amelia trifecta tells you 90% about me as a person. (the rest is covered by Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Uranus and, uhhh, I'll stop baring my soul to the world now)

and speaking of Amelia, this is tangential, but like -- there's one Twst comic I have been kicking at for a while where I needed an RSA sports/flight teacher and, uh, well

someday I will wrangle this stupid comic into coherency and she'll get to make an appearance (in the background of a single panel, half-obscured by a tall hat) (but I will know she's there and that's the important thing)

#art #twisted wonderland #twst oc #my plan worked i've tricked you all into looking at my anime catgirl oc #she exists to yell at some rsa boys so she doesn't really have like. a character or story or anything. sorry!#(her name is alexandria north and that is what she considers a sporty outfit. that's as far as i got)#this is the one that is mainly about silver and neige having a mutual bluebird friend and i am having terrible trouble making it not suck #which given some of the stuff i post should tell you something about how it's going so far #(it's just kind of an incoherent mess of ideas at this point. nothing specific just ~the creative process~)#maybe the rest of episode 7 will give my brain the kickstart it needs. depends on how that goes i guess #god. the next episode 7 bit drops in (probably) just a few days.#I'M NOT READY #i have simultaneously never been ready and always been ready #i exist in a perpetual state of impatience

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skania · 2 days

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AquaKane & OnK 148

Ohhhhh boy. I thought we would have to wait until July to get back to Aqua and Akane, so this chapter blindsided me lol

I know that the most on-the-nose reading of this chapter is that Aka is preparing to pull the classic romcom trope where the love interest gives up on the MC only so the rest of the cast can reassure her that she is the one who makes the MC happy, etc. etc. Considering that this is happening two chapters after Aqua told Kana that he has fun with her, it's like Aka is leading us all to believe that's where it's going. It's all very tropey and in-your-face and perfectly on brand with the way Aka has always written that particular ship.

So instead of talking about the obvious, I'd like to indulge my hopes for good writing and discuss the possibility of Aka actually subverting those tropes by playing this straight, regardless of how likely or unlikely it may be. Because if he does, then all of the stuff I've always loved about Aqua and Akane may just end up meaning something.

This is the possibility I'm rooting for against all odds after all, so I figure that I may as well go down throwing my ship the hurrahs it deserves while I can still do so lol

So buckle up because this is going to be long!

This chapter is a wild ride because it touches upon a lot of different things at once.

First, Aqua supposedly didn't want to be involved with Akane any longer in order to keep her safe.

However, when Akane announced that she would stop his plans — in other words, that she would stay involved in his life — Aqua looked giddy.

Look at him. When Aka allows him to actually emote and be an actual character, Aqua can be so funny!

True to form, in this chapter we see Akane come up to him and Aqua just... welcome her. In fact, he even asks her if she feels awkward around him. Instead of acting like they never dated (which is exactly what Akane has been doing, mind you), he himself brings their former relationship to the forefront.

There's a pause splitting his question in two, meaning that this is something Aqua hesitates to ask. Almost like he is scared of the reply. Or like he may be feeling a little awkward himself.

Which is no surprise, because that is how Aka himself presents their current era. Akane isn't just Akane and she isn't just a friend; she is Aqua's ex girlfriend, a title that never fails to bring attention to the fact that they used to be romantically involved.

From colleagues, to a fake couple, to partners, to a real couple and now they're in their Exes era. I've been waiting for Aka to explore all the tension and complexity that should bring, but he's been kind of busy off-paneling most things Aqua. Alas!

When I commented on Chapter 131, I mentioned that (to me) it feels like after Chapter 116, Akane found something to focus on. She isn't thinking about her relationship with Aqua, the only thing she has in mind is Aqua. Keeping him safe, helping him achieve happiness.

Even here during this chapter, she goes to him to ease his loneliness and remind him that he has people worth living for and that he deserves to be happy, but... nothing she says includes her. It's all about Aqua and the others, the others and Aqua.

I don't think it's a coincidence that Akane walks away from him with her eyes closed. Her mind is consumed with thoughts about wanting Aqua to be happy, and so she doesn't even notice the way he turns to look at her retreating back.

Until Kana shines her proverbial light on her, making Akane open her eyes.

The way the chapter is structured, it's like Kana is there to give Akane the answer — the missing piece to solve the Aqua Happiness Conundrum™ that Akane is so focused on. It's easy to think that the answer is predictably Kana herself, but since I'm here for Aqua and Akane, I'd like to believe the answer can be just as Kana says.

After all, who is prominently featured in what Aqua considers to be his happy days?

Kana's words are abrupt, yes, but the silver lining is that they reflect what Aqua himself has already told us.

Akane is front and center in what Aqua has come to know as happiness.

One may wonder: How TF does Kana know that though?? And it's a fair question that I'll talk about in a little bit, but maybe what matters most is that she knows it at all.

In a way, it feels almost like meta commentary. Like the story has finally reached the point where Aka can afford to go back to Aqua and Akane, and so he is getting ready to reap all the seeds he sowed during the previous arcs fingers crossed.

And this is the very first one of those seeds: Aqua was happy with Akane, but Akane never let herself think that she played an instrumental part in his happiness. She seems to think that it was just being freed from his revenge.

I'd even argue this right here was the true reason of their downfall. It wasn't Aqua finding out about the loophole and Akane not coming clean, it was the reason why she didn't come clean.

Aqua's happiness mattered so much to her that Akane failed to consider that risking her life for him was the last thing Aqua wanted.

So when I read the leaks and Kana's comment, my kneejerk reaction was to think Finally! because this could be setting in motion something I've been waiting for all along.

For Aqua and Akane to revisit their dynamic, their relationship, and come clean about what they mean to each other — wherever that may lead them.

Now, going back to Kana and that earlier question of how does she know? Perhaps she saw something we haven't been privy to (in classic Aka fashion). Or maybe it's as simple as Kana finally realizing that Aqua is deeply unwell, and knowing that the last time she saw him happy was back when he was dating Akane.

Considering the information Kana has and — especially — all the information she lacks, it's not far-fetched for her to come to the conclusion that Aqua's state is partly to blame on his break-up with Akane.

Once again, it would be easy for Aka to say that Kana got it wrong because she doesn't know anything about Aqua's revenge. But wouldn't it be ironic if Kana's lack of insight into that particular side of Aqua is what allows her to see something so simple that the very parties involved are missing it?

Regardless of the road she took to get there, I'd like to think the manga has given us enough reasons to believe Kana is not quite wrong.

After all, Aqua didn't get his black stars when he found out that his father was alive. It wasn't finding out about his father's identity that did it, either.

It was turning his back on Akane and on the naive thoughts of being happy in order to walk down the Revenge Road, on a chapter aptly titled "Going Astray", that gave Aqua his two black stars.

If that was the chapter where Aqua stepped away from the "correct path", so to speak, then it stands to reason to believe that Akane may be front and center in the path Aqua is meant to take.

Coincidentally, this was the last interaction Aqua and Akane were allowed to have before this chapter.

Another thing I find very important in c148 is the way Kana words her realization. Kana isn't telling all of this to Akane as an observer. She's saying it as someone who likes Aqua romantically.

This is in contrast to Akane and Aqua, who are two hot messes when it comes to identifying the nature of their own feelings.

Throughout the entire manga, we've never seen Akane put a label on the way she feels about Aqua. We've seen her realize why she feels the way she does, but we haven't seen her say what she feels, even though Aqua himself has questioned it.

Closest we got was this, and they broke up a chapter later.

Aqua has unexpectedly been more open than Akane in that regard, but... once again, they broke up literally one chapter after Aqua was at his most candid.

And considering everything that happened before and after that, I'm not sure if Akane actually got the message.

But before I get to that, there is an important difference in the way Akane was thinking of Aqua's happiness back then and the way she's thinking about it now.

Chapter 97 was even titled Together. Akane wanted to make Aqua happy, yes, and she also wanted to be together with him always. Just like Aqua wanted them to, according to his own admission: "I don't want to let go of these days... when you're by my side."

But all of that is missing in this most recent chapter. She no longer includes herself as part of the equation at all.

It truly feels like Akane is back to completely underestimating how much she means to Aqua.

Back when Aqua told her this:

Akane reacted like this:

And what is her reaction to Kana's words this chapter?

Every single time, Akane is taken aback by the thought of meaning more to Aqua than she thinks. Every. Single. Time.

This is sad and a little frustrating, but it's far from surprising. After all, this is how Akane has always interpreted their relationship:

As far as Akane is concerned, their relationship was a lie that was turning into truth little by little. She never dared to hope that he loved her back; hell, she even thought that he was attracted to Kana and wondered why he decided to date her instead.

To make matters worse, in Chapter 98, Aqua deliberately set the stage so that Akane's trust in him — the very basis of their relationship — would be broken.

So while Akane realizes that Aqua doesn't want to use her, she may have explained that away as Aqua being his kind self rather than as Aqua harboring any kind of special feelings towards her.

Regardless of how she interpreted his actions though, it seems likely that Akane thinks that she failed him.

She couldn't save him as his girlfriend and Aqua told her he would have nothing to do with her anymore, and so Akane is now trying to save him as something else entirely. Not even as a friend, because she hardly interacts with him at all.

She's trying to save him while staying away just like he wanted her to. While only stepping in when she deems it appropriate and/or necessary.

But is that really and truly what Aqua wants?

Most importantly, is that what Aqua needs?

This chapter suggests that may not be the case, and the rest of the manga agrees. Staying away is not how Akane saved Aqua little by little. This is how she did it:

That's why the way Kana worded her realization is important. It isn't only that Kana — the very girl Akane thought Aqua was attracted to — is bringing romance to the forefront and thus setting the stage for the nature of Akane's (and Aqua's) feelings to be finally cleared up.

It's also that Kana is showing Akane that it's possible to own her feelings while being selfless about his happiness.

After all, the ball right now is in Akane's court. In the state he is now, Aqua would never ever allow himself to chase his own happiness. Even when he thought he was free to do so, he felt that Akane deserved better than to be held back by him.

So all in all, it's like with this chapter alone Aka has laid the groundwork to address all the AquaKane elephants in the room. Just in time for the very season that will be showing AquaKane in all its glory to all the anime-only watchers, at that.

In each of the last arcs, Aqua has reconciled with someone important to him. Kana and Ruby are fully back in his life now, yet he isn't doing any better. Maybe it's finally Akane's turn to try again.

So yes, Kana's change of heart is so abrupt that it may be a red herring leading to a very predictable end.

But since I've made it this far, I may as well keep hoping for the opposite to be true: maybe, just maybe, Aka is planning to tie all of this together and lead it to a satisfying conclusion. I can only hope that is the case, because it's where I feel that the writing is at its best.

Besides, if "giving up on Aqua" and "turning his black star white" are so-called "winning flags", well... Akane did both of those first 😂

#akane kurokawa #aqua hoshino #aquakane #aquaka #my aquakane meta #I was half-tempted to wait until next week because for all I know Aka is going to shoot all of this down in record time #but as I always say: if I've been reading for this long I may as well go down clowning lmao #aka can do whatever he wants but this is the way I'd personally like the manga to go and I'm sticking by it #bring it on aka #I've got both my celebratory and my clown gifs so I'm ready for both outcomes #one thing I forgot to mention is that aqua adresses akane by her first name in this chapter #but that's a post for another time

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mayasaura · 2 months

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how do you imagine cam pal and dulc in a modern au

Palamades and Camilla grew up on a university campus where Juno and one of Camilla's fathers had (and still have) teaching positions. Maybe Cairo University.

Camilla and Dulcinea met through Palamedes. Palamedes and Dulcinea met on an internet forum that Palamedes would have been instabanned from had anyone known he was eight years old. After becoming friends on the forum they exchanged emails, at which time Palamedes disclosed his age and Dulcinea didn't rat him out. Camilla didn't have much interest in the forum but would listen to Palamedes read his threads with Dulcie out loud, and started writing Dulcie herself once the communications were no longer public.

Their friendship spans thirteen years and seven different communication platforms, including handwritten letters, but Palamedes and Camilla still don't know what Dulcinea looks like. When they started using platforms with video chat capabilites, they simply never used that feature. Even Palamedes' marriage proposal was sent as a written letter. Dulcinea preferred it that way, and Palamedes and Camilla would never push her on it.

#do they ever meet? or does Dulcinea die first?#I know which one I'm thinking #but I'm going to leave it up to you to decide for yourself #the locked tomb #dulcamedes #676 #paldulcie #I imagine Dulcinea as being French despite her name #while she's staying at Pro's home in the South near the coast she sometimes looks out across the Mediterranean #and pretends Italy and the atmosphere and the curvature of the earth aren't in the way #and if she tries hard enough she can see all the way to Egypt #I didn't have any of this ready to go when you asked lmao #the idea hounded me through my shift at work today

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